tmg-pi

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Sometimes you want more hot water, but the shower can't give more water, so you have to request more hot instead

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I love having sweet wholesome dreams featuring people whom I've convinced myself now hate me because they seriously hurt me shortly before we parted ways and haven't spoken in years

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My new favorite conspiracy theory is that Marvel Studios caused the pandemic as an excuse to slow down production during the Blip and keep the MCU aligned with the real world

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Me: suggests buying a certain snack food

My parents who haven't shared a home with me for the better part of six years: "you don't like those"

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Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you in

Guess I should've let you win

Or hurt you

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New favorite way to relax: turn up the volume on no-talking ASMR, turn down the volume on Guitar Hero, and play the most energetic or heavy songs I can find

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Is it really kidnapping if the kid doesn't catch you napping them

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It’s a good thing farts aren’t contagious like yawns.

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When you really think about it, most friends are made in a classroom setting, which explains why it’s harder to make friends as an adult

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Most elements of my life these days are connected to one of three different communities, and there is precisely one person on this planet who understands all three of them, so why oh why is this friend of mine not responding

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As a child I once wished to never go through a breakup, but this isn't what I meant

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Society teaches young men the same thing that Santa taught Rudolph: nobody cares about you unless you're useful

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Orange is such a weird word, and for some reason despite having three vowels, we pronounce it as "ORNJ"

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Some days you're the frog, some days you're the blender

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Time does NOT heal all wounds. Sometimes it gives people time to convince themselves that their decision was correct. Sometimes it villainizes someone who deserves a better memory. Sometimes the best course of action is to TALK, not wait and stew.

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Certain foods can absorb a lot of liquid, and certain liquids contain pressurized gasses, so if you consume a lot of both, your stomach is going to have a hard time

[tmg-pi]

People who died of old age died because of not dying