tiny-italian-danger-noodle
idk man
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what is life but spit, grit, and a whole lot of pixie dust (20)
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Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite
Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve
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Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin
Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite
Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.
Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?
Damian: ….
Steph:…
Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.
Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him
Damian: shut up we’ve all died before
Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4
Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want
Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?
Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite
Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)
Dick: Duke is my favorite
Damian: what?
Tim: how?
Jason: this shit is rigged
Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?
Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???
Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people
Jason: …
Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy
Tim:…
Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father
Damian:…
Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table
Steph: …
Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days
Cass:…
Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with
Everyone:
Steph: he started a cult tho??
Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.
Duke: I’m the favorite???
Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.
Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.
Tim: ditto
Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.
Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-
Dick: or help TIM do it
Steph lowering hand:
Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit
Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 3 months ago
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dick got a new apartment. but at what cost
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 3 months ago
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coffee tim is OUT, energy drink tim is IN
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 4 months ago
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multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:
tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?
damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?
duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something
jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!
dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am
steph in russian: who are we killing?
dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason: …. you motherfucker
cass signing: nice drawing
damian in chinese: thank you
dick yelling at bruce about something he did
jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?
tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think
jason: does bruce even know-
tim: no he doesn’t
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 6 months ago
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I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 7 months ago
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did u know its illegal to pump ur own gas in new jersey ? i didnt, anyways
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shoutout to my friend that gave me the idea, love u
i'm cookin up another drawing, so take this for the time being <3
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 7 months ago
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Close calls lead to new friends 😯
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 7 months ago
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Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?
[Wayne Enterprises]
Tim: Finally, time for my break.
Tim: *opens his mini fridge*
*dozens of apples fall out*
———————
[the library]
Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*
Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*
Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.
———————
[day patrol]
Duke: *opens his lunchbox*
Duke: *sighs*
Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*
Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*
———————
[West-Reeve Middle School]
Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.
Jon: ...
Jon: Deal.
———————
[Bludhaven]
Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.
Jason: *hands him a bag*
Dick: What'd you get?
Jason: A frozen turkey. You?
Dick: *opens it*
*fire alarm goes off*
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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I feel like every time I draw my art style changes just a smidge but anyways!!! Thank y’all so much for all the love, have some Cass and Duke cause they are very underrated!
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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I like to imagine that when Bruce is really sick or horribly injured and doesn't want to show weakness, he just... sends Dick in his batsuit to Justice League meetings.
And nobody notices
And a few years later Dick finally ends up in the league as Nightwing and someone brings up how Batman never seems to get sick or hurt, even when they know he's taken big hits, he's always at the meetings.
And Dick just bursts out laughing and falls out of a chair.
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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oracle, ban this guy
(some shitpost while i work on that bernard comic)
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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Jason using his guns as blunt weapons is so funny like imagine ur getting shot at by the Red Hood, he runs out of ammo, you think you have a chance and he just throws the fucking pistol at you
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.
- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.
- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.
- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.
That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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dick: golly gee willikers! we need to scaddadle crew!
jason: there is no fucking way you just said that shit unironically.
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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Hey everyone, please consider buying the 2024 itch.io Palestinian Relief Bundle- it's 373 games, game-making assets, tabletop roleplaying games, zines, and comics for a minimum of just 8 USD! They have a goal of 100,000 USD, and as of the time I'm writing this post, they have 8 more days to reach it.
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Link will be in the reblog!
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tiny-italian-danger-noodle · 8 months ago
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from left to right: clark, bruce, diana
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