tightensthebolt

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

Pfft, oh please, you know I'm too arrogant and cocky to trust anyone to take care of you but me. [I said in teasing response. I mean, although that was mostly true, I wasn't quite /that/ cocky. I knew there were plenty of trustworthy doctors here at Chastain. As shocking as it might be to hear me say, I trusted Bell. Devon and Kit too, for that matter. Thoughts I kept to myself as I remained unmoved at Billie's hospital bedside] Speaking of Gigi, be prepared for her to try to play "nurse" for you once I tell her you're here and bring her in to visit you. [I knew seeing Gigi would brighten up Billie's mood so it would only be a matter of time before I brought Gigi in here to visit. She was like sunshine in that sense. Still, until I was confident that Billie was up for company, Gigi's or otherwise, I'd let Gigi continuing to play in the school downstairs] But yeah, returning to Chastain is exactly what Gigi and I both need, I think. As thrilling as it was pumping rich alcoholics with banana bags to sober them up, I'm ready to return to some real form of medicine. [I added sarcastically before a light laugh followed. The truth was, I missed Chastain. I loved my job. Helping patients was my thing, so going all that time without getting to do what I loved was a rough transition, but I convinced myself that I did what was best for Gigi. She was already without her mother. I couldn't let her grow up without her dad too. Deep down though, I knew I hid from Chastain for as long as I did as a way to mask my own level of grief after losing Nic. A fact that Billie and the others all knew] Also, I don't know if now is the ideal time to bring this up, but when you're discharged from here, I was thinking you should stay with Gigi and I while you recover. I mean, you don't have to decide right now, but something I want you to consider, okay? [Billie practically lived at our house anyway since she helped me look after Gigi when I was working, but I knew this would be a full time thing as oppose to the occasional thing. Either way, I had a feeling she'd agree to my offer... Probably cause she knew I didn't plan to take "no" for an answer, but it really could go either way, I guess. Regardless of what Billie decided though, I'd make sure I was there for her no matter what]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[A cheeky sort of grin creased my amused lips as I heard Billie's comment. Clearly the pain meds were still taking affect on her now given she called me handsome. Of course I wasn't going to just let that pass. It would be too good to let something like that pass by without a teasing retort in reply] I am pretty handsome, I have to say, so it seems to me you're healthy as a horse. [I joked in reply as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. The amusement resting across my lips as I heard her explain that she didn't want to pressure me into returning to Chastain] Oh please, you, Kit, Bell, and Devon were all teamed up to convince me to come back. You even have Gigi in on it. [I joked in reply; all the while my amusement remaining across my face. Not at all mad at any of them. Honestly, it meant a lot to me that they cared enough that they wanted me to come back here to work] I appreciate the encouragement though. It's nice to know I was thoroughly missed here. I mean, I thought for sure hell would freeze over before Bell would want me back here. [I joked before adding] We sure have come a long way with each other. [I pointed out as I sat on the edge of Billie's hospital bed. A grin resting across my lips as I decided to tell Billie the news] I haven't told the others yet, but it worked. I'll accept the position back here at Chastain. [Figuring Billie could use some good news right about now] How's the pain? Need some more of the good stuff? [I offered. Figuring Billie was anything but "peachy" currently] Bell said you would be discharged in the next day or two, and I was thinking you should stay with Gigi and I once you are. I mean, who better to make sure you bounce back than me and Gigi? Gigi especially. She's a nurse prodigy in the making. Equipped with cookies and milk and everything. [I chuckled lightly and grinned at Billie. Just trying to keep the mood light for her sake currently]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[I was concerned for Billie. Yes, I know Bell assured me the surgery was successful, but regardless, I knew my mind wouldn't be at ease until Billie opened her eyes and I saw for myself that she was okay. Brain surgery was so unpredictable. Not just the surgery itself, but the after math of it too. You never know how a patient might react when they wake up... Assuming they wake up. All that to say, the minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like an eternity before I heard Billie faintly stirring in the hospital bed. My eyes remained locked on her every movement until her eyes finally opened. At that, a breath of relief exhaled from my lips while I flashed her an amused smile in response to her joke] Oh yeah? Then I'm in trouble, because I also lost about five years of my life when I saw you at the bottom of those stairs... [I said in teasing retort before jokingly adding] Look, if you wanted to make sure I stayed here at the hospital long term, you could have just told me you want me to take the job. No need to put on a scene with the staircase and nearly give me a heart attack, as a result. [I gently teased her in response and chuckled under my breath as my free hand gently brushed the hair away from her face. Obviously I knew she didn't do it on purpose. I was merely trying to keep the conversation and mood light and comfortable for her now given the hell she's been through today] How are you feeling? [I asked as my finger gingerly brushed across her cheek before ultimately bringing that hand back down onto my leg; all the while my other hand remained raveled around her palm] I imagine you've got one hell of a headache... Among other aches and pains. [I said with a gentle smile as my thumb gingerly traced across the top of her cool hand]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[I practically held my breath through the duration of the surgery. Once it was finished, Bell glanced up to confirm that the damage was repaired, and then shared where I should go in order to be there for Billie. He didn't have to tell me twice. I gave a nod in response before shooting up onto my feet. Once I reached the elevator, I hit the button multiple times as I waited for the double doors to open, so I could reach my desired floor. Before long I made my way to the patient care unit and then into the room where Billie was lying unconscious on the gurney. I took a seat in the chair adjacent to the transport bed then reached over to take her hand in mine] Come on, Billie, you're the strongest person that I know. You're going to bounce back from this, but right now, I need you to fight. [I called out in a soft, even tone as I waited anxiously at her bedside. Yes, I knew Bell assured me the damage was repaired, but even with that, brain surgery was always unpredictable. There was no telling what side effects the patient may face once they awoke after surgery. Billie was a fighter though, so I knew if anyone could come out of this stronger than before, it was her]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[Billie had gone through a hell of a lot through the years, but at this moment, she was in the fight of her life. All of the others may have led her up to this moment, but this moment was the one that would really count... The moment that would determine what happened next. As I made my way toward the OR to watch from the viewing deck, I was stopped by one of the nurses with an inquiry about a patient. I briefly looked over the file and gave her my suggestion on the next step she could take. I also offered up a few more ideas on tests I thought should be run before I continued with my course toward the OR. I couldn't give much more input than that since I didn't technically work here, but I did what I could in regard to offering up suggestions... Basically sharing with her what I would do, but the decision would ultimately need to be up to her on how she wanted to proceed. I silently considered as I continued toward the elevator leading to the OR area of the hospital. No sooner reaching the OR though when my eyes caught sight of a gathering of people in one of the lobby areas I could see down to from the floor I was currently on. It was then that it all made sense. It was him. Porter. He was here and currently holding audience not far from where Billie took her fall. "He's here." Her words she whispered out when she was in and out of consciousness in the ED examination room. "He's here" was referring to Porter. Leading me to the thought that she saw him right before her fall... Or did he cause it? My blood boiling at that thought. Grant it, I didn't see him nearby or in the gathering of people when I found Billie after her fall, but I wasn't exactly looking for anyone either. My only focus at that moment was to get Billie the help she needed. All thoughts I would need to push to the back of my mind until Billie was awake again. Yes, I knew the odds weren't great, but I knew Billie. She was a fighter, so if anyone could come back from this, it was her. I refused to believe I was going to lose her today. I thought to myself as I took a seat in the empty viewing area overlooking the OR where Bell and Leela were about to begin Billie's surgery. Bell glanced up toward the observation deck; giving me a nod of reassurance when his eyes locked with mine, before his eyes returned to the OR and he aired out] "This is one of our own, so I need all hands on deck and complete focus." [He shared with those in the OR beside him; watching them all nod in agreement before the surgery commenced] Come on, Billie... Fight this... You've got this, Billie. [I murmured out under my breath as I watched Bell and Leela hard at work to save Billie]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[We all acted quickly and as a well-ironed team. Don't get me wrong, we always worked perfectly as a team, but this time it felt personal. This was one of our own needing the medical attention, so we couldn't make room for mistakes. Not when Billie's life was on the line currently. I gave a nod of agreement as Devon's assessment; knowing we'd need to get her prepped and into the OR sooner rather than later in order to treat these internal bleeds] "Nurse Hundley, could you prep her for surgery while I call for an OR?" [Bell stated before standing in front of me; lowering his hand onto my shoulders to add] "I will take great care of her. She'll be in more than capable hands." [Years ago I would have fought like hell to keep Bell as far away from this surgery as humanly possible. Through the years though we had come to an understanding with each other, and over time, we even became friends. My point being, at this moment, there was nobody I trusted more to save Billie] I know. There's nobody I trust more in that OR than you. [I assured him before adding] I'm watching from the gallery though. [I added to which Bell nodded in response before he turned to Devon to tell him he was bringing Leela into the OR with him. At that my eyes shifted back to Billie. Just in time to see her eyes open as she muttered out the words "He" and "Here" before her eyes immediately shut once more] Billie? Billie, can you hear me? [I called out to her. I didn't have any idea what she meant now, but that was normal for a head injury. I silently told myself as I finished stitching up her head wound as best as I could while Hundley prepped her for surgery. Before long she was ready to be transported to the OR; prompting me to walk along with the gurney as the transport team took her toward the OR. It was in that moment that her words in the examination room made sense. "He.... here." Porter. Anger filling me as I saw him in the hallway while we made route toward the OR elevator. Did he cause this? Was he the reason she fell? I wondered in building disdain toward this prick. Mark my words, if Billie wasn't headed into surgery right at this moment, I would have stopped to exchange some words with him... If not worse. Billie was my first priority at the moment though, so giving Porter hell would need to wait. I silently reminded myself as the elevator door closed and we made way toward the OR floor]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[The content smile lingered on my lips as I reached the desired floor to the cafeteria. I was admittedly excited about having lunch with Billie. Why wouldn't I be though? Through the years Billie had become one of my best and most trusted friends. I thought in justification as I started toward the cafeteria. Only I paused when I saw a commotion and a gathering of people over by the stairwell. Judging by the number of doctors and medical staff I saw in the grouping of people, I knew someone was hurt. Without a second's thought, I acted purely on instinct as I made my way over to see if I could be of any help. That's when I saw her] Billie! [I aired out in concern as I gently pushed my way through the group; knowing if anyone was tending to Billie, it was me. I didn't trust anyone more to take care of her than I did myself. Call it arrogance or whatever you want, but nobody was going to change my mind on that] Billie, can you hear me? [I asked in concern as I checked her pupils] What happened? [I asked aloud toward everyone currently gathered; assuming someone must have witnessed whatever had happened to her] "She fell down the stairs." [Someone eventually said from behind me] Get a gurney and let's get her to the ED. Someone page Pravesh and Bell. Now! [I called out. Not yelling as much as it was a command in urgency. Before long the gurney arrived. Knowing the concern of spine or back injuries though, we placed the flat board beneath her first before carefully loading her onto the gurney. Once she was safely strapped onto the gurney, a few of the medical staff and myself wheeled her to the elevator and then to ED. Once the doors opened and we exited, I called out to Feldman] It's Billie. She took a fall down the stairs. She has an obvious head contusion. She's been in and out of consciousness and will need a head CT. We need to determine if there are any back, spinal, or other injuries too. [I stated the obvious to Feldman. By now Bell rushed into the room and toward us. I knew I didn't technically have jurisdiction here, but I didn't care. Nobody else seemed to care either, since nobody told me to step away. In fact, Bell, Feldman, Hundley, and I all worked together perfectly as a team while we assessed Billie's injuries as well as decided on the order of her necessary tests and scans] Bllie, if you can hear me, we've got you. You just stay with me, okay? [I called out to her in a calm yet worried tone as I packed her head injury alongside Hundley, while Feldman used the portable x-ray screen so he and Bell could get an idea of Billie's internal injuries]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[After instructing Bell and Devon of some tests I wanted them to run on Dr. Bell's patient, I made a few notes in the chart that was pulled up in the iPad currently resting in my hand. No sooner doing so when I felt my phone vibrate; alerting me of a newly received text message. A slight smile pulled at the corners of my lips as I read the message from Billie and responded] "Of course. Meet you in the cafeteria in ten to fifteen minutes?" [I typed out in response before hitting send. Briefly re-reading the notes I made in the chart before passing the iPad back over to Bell for his review] I need to go do something, but I'll be back in a bit... In the meantime, text me when the test results come in on your patient. [Dr. Bell and Devon nodded in response before I turned to leave the nurse's station area. I admit, it felt good... naturally to be back here and hard at work to get to the bottom of a patient's diagnosis. In fact, the longer I spent working with Bell and Devon on this patient's case and care, the more I realized my decision to return was more or less being made for me] Well played, by the way. [I said in a playful tone while shooting Bell and Devon a knowing look. Well aware that they'd know I was referring to them pulling me in on this difficult case as a means of talking me into accepting a position back here at Chastain. The amused smirk lingered on my lips as Bell flashed me a mirrored smirk and a nod, while Devon gave a light laugh in reply. Case and point, they definitely cause what I eluded to with my words. Without another word or response, I turned to leave them; making my way down the hallway and toward the elevator, so I could get to the designated floor to meet up with Billie for a bite to eat. It was moments like this that I knew being here felt most at home to me. It felt like the missing piece to my puzzle, so to speak. All that aside though, I made a promise to myself, and Nic too that I would put Gigi first and above all else, so I had to remember that as I prepared to give Kit my answer later today]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[A few minutes after leaving Kit's office, Bell and I made our way downstairs to the second floor where we'd find his patient. Once we made our way inside his hospital room, Bell greeted his patient and then introduced me to the patient; explaining that I would be joining his medical team in order to aid in getting to the bottom of whatever is ailing him. By now I had reviewed his chart and available test results, so now was the part of the diagnosis process where I talk to the patient. I often found that the diagnosis usually lied in a conversation with the patient] "Good afternoon, Mr. Rice. It's nice to meet you." [I said as I approached his hospital bed while placing elastic gloves over each of my hands] "So, Mr. Rice, in your own words, tell me what's going on... What brought you here to the hospital?" [I asked the patient. Knowing I could read it in his chart, obviously, but as I said previously, usually you learn a lot more straight from the patient's mouth, than you did simply by reading a chart. While Mr. Rice explained his symptoms to me, I began a brief exam across the seemingly "trouble spots" of his body] "I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Rice, but rest assured, you're in the best hands with Dr. Bell, so we're going to get to the bottom of what's causing your symptoms, and do everything we can to get you fixed right up." [I assured the patient with a warm smile as I added a few notes to his chart and before long Dr. Bell and I were leaving Mr. Rice's hospital room] I think we should do another set of labs. I have a few ideas so with a new set of labs, we should be able to eliminate some possible causes and then narrow down our diagnosis a bit more. [I explained to Bell as I handed him back his iPad, so he could make the final decision about the labs and input it into the system] After we get a new set of labs, I want to sit and talk with the patient a bit more too... Usually the cause of the symptoms pops up in the least expected conversations and provided information. [More or less explaining my process, of sorts, to Dr. Bell] "You can do anything you want, Conrad. I trust you. In the meantime, I'll put in for those labs, and get the results to you as soon as I can." [Dr. Bell said as he gave my shoulders a brief squeeze before adding] "It's good to have you back, Conrad." [Dr. Bell said... A bit prematurely since I hadn't made my decision yet, but I knew this was his confidence talking now. Flashing him a smile, I gave a nod, then the two of us went our separate ways for now: Dr. Bell to work on getting the labs, and me to find Devon to see what he's currently working on patient wise]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[I smirked in amusement to myself as I thought of Billie's last words to me before she made route to the Neuro department to prepare for her upcoming surgical case, while I made my way to Kit's office to discuss the possibility of me returning to Chastain. Of course Kit and Bell said all the right things during the meeting. Well, more so Kit, given that she was the acting CEO here at Chastain, but Bell gave his own input too, as a means of convincing me to return. A very large part of me wanted to immediately give in an agree to the position they were offering me. I mean, who was I kidding? Chastain was home... It would always be home. Still, every time I considered returning, my mind went back to Nic. Could I stomach working here knowing I would constantly be reminded of her, and the fact that she died right here in this hospital? I was haunted by that reminder, and I didn't know if I could shake it. Gigi doesn't have her mother now because I wasn't able to save her. I failed Nic when she needed me the most, and to this day, that's a weight I carried on my shoulders. A thought I kept to myself as I listened to Kit continuing to brighten up the incentives of me accepting a position here] Gigi comes first. You know how the hours are here. I used to work around the clock, and didn't even blink, because being a doctor was my life. That can't happen now. I have to put Gigi first. [I explained. Knowing part of that was obviously true. Gigi was, in fact, my whole world and she would always be my first thought and priority now. Still though, I knew at the same point, I was also using Gigi as an excuse to avoid returning here, due to my own harbored guilt] Let me think on it. Your offer is generous, Kit, and I really appreciate it, but give me a day to consider it, okay? [Kit smiled and nodded in agreement while I shifted up to my feet to leave the office. No surprise though that Bell already had a plan up his sleeve to continue baiting me to return. In this particular case, in the form of a case... One that piqued my interest and curiosity. Wow, never thought I'd see the day that Bell would be asking me for assistance with a case. I thought with a slight grin as I reviewed the case he was showing me on his iPad] Run another full panel on them, and add these tests too... [I started to say as I inputted the information and requested tests into his iPad; assuming he wouldn't mind since yes, he was asking for my help, but I also knew Kit had probably told him to do whatever was necessary to get me back] I have a few ideas, but I want to see what those tests reveal first. [I said with a nod as I handed Bell his iPad back, and he agreed] "Will do. Come with me, and I'll introduce you to the patient, so you can get a feel for the case.' [I nodded once more in agreement as I followed Bell out of Kit's office and to the designated floor to do a preliminary exam of his patient; knowing if nothing else, this would feel like a breath of fresh air being able to help someone again... Someone who really needed my help. Unlike those athletes, actors, and celebrities who only needed me to aid them when they drank too much and needed flushed out of the toxins. I thought in disgust of my current job]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons 

[The thought of being back here. It felt bittersweet. In one sense, it was the feeling of coming home. This was the place I had called “home” for so many years, but after Nic died, it obviously felt different to me. Everywhere I looked, I had memories, both big and small, of Nic in this hospital. The thought of being back here made my stomach knot with uneasiness. Still, I knew Billie was right. I needed to think about what was best for Gigi. Sure, for years now, I had made the excuse that me leaving Chastain was the right thing to do, because I needed a job where I could make my own hours. I was determined to be there for my daughter; no matter what. Deep down, though, I knew I was running away from the pain I felt by being back here at Chastain. Maybe the time had come for me to move past the pain, and start making some new memories here at the hospital that I once loved] I’ll take the meeting. No promises beyond that, though. [I assured Billie with a smile as she fixed the crease in my jacket for me] Always looking out for me. [I chuckled lightly before adding] Thanks, Billie. For everything. [Knowing Gigi and I wouldn’t be doing as well as we are now if it wasn’t for Billie] Text me when you’re ready for lunch. [I eventually added as the two of us parted ways. I knew lunch was still a couple of hours off, but something told me after taking the meeting with Kit, Devon or Bell would have something for me to do. Any ploy they could use to convince me to return to Chastain for work. I thought to myself with a lingering grin as I made my way toward the elevator, and then pushed the button to the floor where Kit’s office was located. Before long I had reached the desired floor, and then I found myself greeted by both Bell and Kit as I reached her office] “Conrad, it’s good to see you.” [Bell said as he extended my hand out toward me to shake. No sooner shaking his hand when Kit flashed me a bright smile and then pulled me in for a hug] “It’s about time we got you in here for a chat.” [Kit said as the three of us made our way into her office, then Bell closed the door behind us, so we could get down to business] “Conrad, you know we want you, so tell me what it would take to finally get you back here where you belong.” [Kit said. Basically putting all the cards out on the table. At that, I started by saying that Gigi is my first priority, so I couldn’t work long hours like I used to. Kit and Bell both nodded in response as I continued putting my conditions out there. Barely saying my last in a long list of conditions when Kit replied] “Done. I’ll have the paperwork drawn up and ready for you on Monday morning.” [Kit said with a bright grin before adding] “And Conrad, it’s wonderful to have you back.” [Kit said as she came around to the opposite side of her desk to hug me. No sooner shifting up onto my feet when Bell chimed in] “While you’re here, could I run a case of mine by you?” [A knowing chuckle left my lips as I nodded in reply] Sure. Lead the way. [Airing out a goodbye to Kit before leaving the office with Bell. Listening as he gave me a brief overview of the case as we made our way to the designated floor so I could get a better sense of the patient’s condition, in order to help Bell make a proper diagnosis]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons 

[I should have known Billie was also behind getting Gigi onboard with me returning to Chastain. I knew Bell and Kit played their parts in it too, but Billie, I didn’t suspect. I actually feel stupid for not suspecting it, since she was actually the most obvious one to put ideas in Gigi’s head. Regardless though, I wasn’t upset with anyone involved. Far from it, actually. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had my reasons for leaving Chastain, and I stood behind them, but at the same time, I was flattered that they were all working so hard to get me back there] I’m not surprised that you were involved in this. Between you, Kit, and Bell, I knew it would only be a matter of time before Gigi was ganging up on me with the rest of you. [I chuckled out as I felt Billie’s arm loop through my own, while the two of us continued walking alongside each other the familiar walk toward the nearing hospital. I didn’t miss the fact that we kept a slow, yet even pace as we walked; clearly neither one of us was chomping at the bit to arrive at Chastain. Thing was, I had a lot to consider before heading to Kit’s office for our scheduled interview... discussion... whatever we were calling it] Well, let’s hope she’s feeling open minded, because I have a lot of conditions to put out there, before I’d even consider returning to Chastain. I mean, yes, I loved my job there, but Gigi’s well being comes first, so that’s what I need to focus on going into this meeting with Kit. [I explained as we ultimately reached the hospital; listening as Billie shared what she had scheduled so far for her own day. My lips pursed slightly as I nodded in agreement] Tri-fold sandwiches, it is. And hey, as long as they still have those big dill pickles on the side, and I’m in. [I joked; all the while another chuckle left my lips. By now we were inside the main entrance; knowing this was where Billie and I would be parting ways for the next few hours] Okay, I’ll hang around here and keep myself busy while you take care of your appointments. Just call or text me when you’re ready for lunch. [I said with a grin as I unraveled my arm from Billie’s, so she could head to her appointments, while I said hello to a few friends, and then ultimately went for my meeting with Kit in her office]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

[I wish there was more that I could say to Billie to bring her comfort now... Even a voice of reason, but I was out of my league with this. Don’t get me wrong, I’d always have Billie’s back, just like I knew she’d always have mine too, so naturally, I would do everything in my power and ability to help her through this now. It was just, advice wise, I was at a loss on what more to say. I knew it would be unfair and dishonest of me to say, “I know what you’re going through,” or “I understand how you’re feeling,” because I don’t know what she’s going through, nor can I feel what she’s feeling, because I had no experience with this type of thing. With that though, if I could take this pain away from Billie and carry it onto my own shoulders instead, I would without a second’s though. Unfortunately though, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. Bottom line though, whatever Billie needed, I would do what I could to give it to her... Whether that’s friendship, a listening ear, support, and/or protection. I silently justified as we took our leave from the coffee shop; walking side by side each other on route to Chastain. Amusement creasing my lips as I swallowed the swig I had just taken of my coffee and looked over at Billie, in response to her confession] I should have known you helped to sway Gigi. [I said through a quiet chuckle before adding] For what’s it’s worth, she didn’t rat you out. [I joked in response. Not at all upset to know Billie helped to get Gigi on their side, in order to convince me to return to work at Chastain] Good thing you didn’t tell her about the fancy puppet shows they put on too. If you had, there would be no changing her mind on wanting to go to school there. [I added teasingly but my expression turned more serious when I heard Billie’s words of wisdom. As much as I wanted to deny that she was right, I knew I couldn’t. Nic wouldn’t want this for me or Gigi, either one. She wouldn’t want us to settle. Yes, I was Gigi’s dad, first and foremost, but I was also a doctor. A damn good one at that. If there was a way for me to do both, without Gigi losing her precious time with me, then I would do it] You’re right. I’ll put my wishes, desires, and intentions out there for Kit to consider, and then she can decide if she can swing it. We’ll see how it goes from there. [I agreed as we approached the hospital] What’s on your agenda today? Any big surgeries? [I asked; figuring if Billie was free, maybe she and I could grab lunch or something later] I have that meeting with Kit this morning, and then I told Devon I’d give him a consult on one of his patients. If you’re free for lunch though, let me know. It’s tri-fold sandwich today in the cafeteria... [I started to say before realizing that may have changed in my years away from Chastain] Isn’t it? They didn’t change the day for tri-fold sandwiches, did they?

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.