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thubprint · 7 years ago

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We get what we get

Normally I tell stories through videos, but not this one. Holding up a video camera can put distance between you and the experience, and this time I chose to be a part of the experience, 100%. This is the story of my second trip to Cuba. It's a clumsy romance.

My first visit to Cuba was chaotic. I didn't know the culture, the laws, or where to go to meet people, but by the end of it I had made some new friends including two ladies whom I promised I would see again soon. I only had contact with one of them, but I still prepared gifts to bring both of them on my return. (I'll use the pseudonyms 'Halo' and 'Luna', simply because I haven't asked their permission to publish any of this). I wasn't planning on 'playing the field', this was more like emotional security, like a backup plan. The truth is I had only known each of them for 3 days before leaving the first time and sometimes things are not what they seem. After only a few emails between Luna and myself I had revealed how much I regretted not kissing her on my last night there after we had spent hours dancing and holding hands, and she started using phrases like "I love you baby". Because of previous experiences this development seemed suspiciously rapid to me, and I was apprehensive. Maybe she does this kind of thing a lot? I took a defensive stance, and prepared for multiple scenarios.

I was committed to following through however. If there was even a chance that love was waiting across the ocean, I was going to find out.

The weeks leading up to departure were stressful but I managed to publish videos while producing two weeks of pre-scheduled content, created gifts and mixtapes for friends in Cuba, saved up some money for the trip and paid my rent. I really thought I would make some kind of videos while there, but the night I arrived with no plan, no place to stay and very little understanding of spanish, things happened faster than I was able to arm a camera.

After being delivered by taxi to Prado St. and Malecon in Habana Viejo I thought I would simply find a wifi area, locate a hostel for the evening and settle down there for the night, then go see who I found first the next morning. I wasn't dragging my suitcase more than five minutes when I saw Luna. She was facing the other direction and wearing a red dress. I had tried to imagine this moment and what I would say but even If I had memorized lines I would have instantly forgotten them. She turned as she heard me walk up to her. We shared a smiling disbelief for the shortest eternity and then she leapt up into my arms - the long hug. Hearts connected. My suspicions about an ulterior motive melted away.

She helped me find a Casa Particulare to stay at. I had thought I might find a place for two days and look around to find a really pretty one for the rest of my trip, but I didn't end up spending enough time at home to care. I left my stuff there and gave her some of the presents I brought for her (purple and green air jordans and a pair of adidas 3/4 joggers) and we picked up right where we left off three months ago, walking alongside the ocean holding hands and smoking. We shared our first kiss that night, and I realized I was a fool for doubting this girl's heart. She had meant every word.

The next morning my hosts prepared me breakfast and I went to find Halo. I knew where she lived so I went there with the rollerblades I had brought for her. Hers were stolen a few months back and she missed them a lot. I had thought maybe I could just leave them there for her but... she was home. She was also extremely excited to see me and I was happy too, but not quite the same way. We went rollerblading together until it started to rain, and we took shelter in a stairwell beside my Casa. I ran up to collect the rest of the gifts I had brought for her, some clothing, headphones and an mp3 player I had put a custom hip hop mix on.

As we sat watching the rain and talking, I wondered If I was making the right choice. The truth is though, life doesn't really have 'right' and 'wrong' choices, just choices. Halo is beautiful, cares deeply for her family and is driven to grow and make something of her life. She's in school to become a lawyer. For a lot of reasons, she might have been the 'smart' choice. I wasn't really thinking about any of those things though. I decided to follow my heart on this one. By which I mean the one who I laughed the most with, the one I was thinking about when I went to bed at night, and the one who took a risk trusting me with her feelings even though she didn't know me that well. I explained to Halo that I was seeing someone, and I was happy to see her again but we would simply be friends. The dissapointment was real, the rain appropriate.

At 2:00 I returned to Prado with the rest of the shoes I brought and easily found new owners for them. Luna was there and we went to a friend's place before heading to her mother's house. We bought a present for her mother on the way; it was meat. A big pork shoulder which sat uncovered and raw on the counter of a meat stand, with flies buzzing all over it. It's probably fine as long as its in the shade right? This stand also had pork rinds, and not the air-puffed from a sealed chip bag kind, more like all the bits and pieces of fat and skin from the cut meat, deep fried and salted and thrown in a plastic bucket on the counter. They were absolutely delicious.

Her mother's house was awesome. We stayed up late drinking and smoking, her mother kept serving coffee and juice, and there were more pork rinds made before dinner was served. The coffee is basically heavily sweetened espresso, and the juice is just fruit blended with water and the seeds strained out. It was a very happy place, and Luna's family is loud and fun. The next morning Luna's mother's boyfriend brought over a sack of mangoes from the tree in his yard, and I didn't know a mango could taste that good. Something about them ripening on the tree in the sun really kicks the flavour up!

If Luna and I wanted to have a sexy time however, this was not the best place for it. We shared a room with her grandmother who is saltier than the pork rinds. Plus when grandma needs help relieving herself in a bedpan in the middle of the night, that definetly kills any sexy mood that may have been around.

Luna and I did shower together, and that was dope. The word 'shower' might be a bit misleading. We just had a bucket of hot water and a cup to pour it with. It sure is nice to share that scenario with someone super hot, and soaping each other up is a memory I will hold close. The second time we showered the water was not hot which was kind of brutal, but it's a sacrifice I was happy to make in favor of some alone time.

After the second day there we returned to Prado so I could get some rest at my own place. Luna had noticed my temperature was getting really high, and I was starting to feel ill. We ran Into Halo when we got back who invited me to a party she was heading to, but I told her I needed to go home and rest. It sure is hard to watch her walk away though. She didn't even look back.

I was planning on going home, I really was. Then this dude came up to us and asked if we wanted to go to a party. I figured no, I was starting to feel really sick and I would have needed sleep even if i wasn't. "Only 2CUC for both of you! Drinks included!" The dude kept pressing. Luna clearly wanted to go, so the spirit of living for the moment won me over. "Have you got your passport?" Our new friend asked as we arrived at mi casa where I would quickly change. I told him I did not. "Oh, that's not good! You should always have your passport with you in Cuba!" Yeah, maybe. I didn't want to risk losing it, so whatever. I changed as quickly as possible (this was not that quickly) and the three of us headed to the bus. We arrived at a huge house with a gated yard crammed full of people. I handed our friend 10CUC but when he tried to get us in we were told the place was full and the booze was all gone. "I told you to be fast at your casa!" Well, I tried. He eventually got us in because there was a girl with us. Ain't nobody want no sausage fest. "Have your passport ready" he tells me. Um, wut? Why? "I told you to bring your passport!" No, you told me I should always have my passport. He starts talking the door guy into letting me in which eventually works, but not without the door guy looking down at me with the sternest expresson anyone has ever given anyone and saying; "No trouble from you, or we're going to have big problem. Understand?" Entiende. The party was pretty great. When we got there the music was Rage Against The Machine, Slipknot, System Of A Down and AFI, then suddenly the corpse-painted DJ switched to some kind of salsa music. An eclectic mix but we had a blast, We danced a ton, laughed a lot, and our friend kept showing up with rum and beer. As the night came to a close, Luna and I were going to go our separate ways but the buses were taking forever. I suggested she stay at my place, assuring her I had already asked if mi novia could stay over, and she accepted. 4:00 AM we stumble past the lady of the house who is sleeping on the couch and up the stairs to collapse on the bed. And I'm done.

The next two days were kind of a blur. We didn't wake up until a knock at the door at 1:00, thankfully breakfast was still waiting. I needed all the food I could find to keep up some strength because my fever got pretty high, around 39 degrees. We mostly spent two days being gross in bed, since she ended up sick as well. Thankfully she really likes video games and has a ton of them on her phone. NES emulators, GBA emulators, Five Nights At Freddy's 1-3 and Tekken 3. Getting sick on vacation is pretty crappy, but you could do a lot worse.

I wasnt feeling a lot better after those two days, but it was time to head back to her house for a gauntlet of birthday parties! Several days in a row. I can pretend to be an extrovert pretty well when the situation calls for it, but the next few days really wore me pretty thin. Thankfully they had enough medicine to keep me feeling okay, but the people and the music were loud, the house was small, and the single bed we were sharing was really uncomfortable. One of the birthdays was Luna's, (albeit a few days early) and I brought the rest of the gifts for her. These were a pair of bluetooth headphones and a bluetooth speaker (both rechargeable, both dumpster finds) and an mp3 player with an electronica mix I put together, as well as a big bag of M&Ms and sour patch kids. The candy was kind of a shot in the dark, but Cuba's candy game is weak so I was pretty confident it would be appreciated. Turns out she LOVES chocolate, so it was a good guess. I probably could have sold the headphones for a lot, but this was more fun. Her mom's house has a great view of the stars from the roof too and just as Luna is pointing this out to me, a shooting star flies over us.

A goddamn shooting star.

I'm not telling what I wished for, and I didn't ask her.

I was seriously more done than I have ever been at this point though, which sucks because there is nowhere I'd rather be than around this lady when I'm feeling this crappy. She really takes care of her man. She even bought me a present! I guess in Cuba new clothes show up in heavy bags which get passed through different families before they end up in stores, and she sneakily bought me some new pairs of underwear. Which was perfect, because at this point my laundry plans have fallen apart and I really needed those! I couldn't stay any longer though, I was dead. We didn't actually leave until really late at night, and I explained that I just need some time alone to regenerate. It's 10:00 when I make it back to Prado, and I need medicine of my own and some food. The fever medicine was 2CUC, and I bought a pizza that I thought was going to be small because it was only 40CUP but it was actually way more than I could finish. Turns out street pizza is one of the things that is cheap in Cuba. So I brought that home with me along with some extra water and an orange soda. I noticed Luna had left her skateboard necklace in my room.

My sleep was not great but at least when I woke up in a pool of sweat in the middle of the night I had a dry side of the bed to roll onto. I put on Luna's necklace in the morning, for no particular reason. When I was planning my errands for the day my friend Mario came by to see me, and he kept me company while I was running around. He was really helpful with the bus routes, and showed me this ice cream spot called Coppellia that takes up a whole city block. It was cheap too, 10CUP for way more ice cream than one person should eat! And I shouldn't have eaten it, because we had to run to catch our bus after and I felt an extra kind of gross now that I was bloated with ice cream.

We met up with Luna back at Prado and just wasted time skateboarding and chilling with friends. I still wasn't feeling the best but at least I had my own medication for the fever now. She thought it was super cute that I was wearing her necklace. Her actual birthday was the next day so when we were winding down for the night at my casa her phone was straight blowing up just as midnight arrived. She is so loved by so many people! It's easy to see why. She cares for her friends and treats them as family, she's really aware of how people are feeling and is always keeping people smiling and getting them moving and dancing. She brings so much energy to a group, it's a real joy to be near her.

I was starting to worry about her eating though, I realized I almost never see her eat anything unless we're at her mother's house for dinner. Maybe she was just being polite not wanting to eat my breakfast, but I would have been happier seeing her eat. Eating alone feels wierd when there are other people around not eating.

When we went out the next day to gather friends for her birthday we discovered one of her friends was getting married! We joined the wedding party, and I was amazed at the old building they were having the ceremony in. Another friend came from Vancouver to suprise her on her birthday, and brought her a brand new skate deck as a present. Those are not easy to find in Cuba! Luna kept saying how happy she was all day. It did seem like a great birthday. After collecting friends and meat and beer we hauled back to her mother's house to be loud and rowdy. Also picked up some cake on the way, another thing that can be cheap in cuba (4CUC).

Later on in the night though the smile faded from her face, so I asked her why. She was thinking about her father. Father's day was the next day and hers had died three years ago. Lung cancer. I'm not very good with these sorts of things but I was happy to be there with her even knowing there was nothing I could do. What do you do, when the person who keeps everyone's spirits up is feeling down? If there is a right answer I couldn't think of it at the time.

The next few days we just watched scary movies, skated with friends, ate pizza and tried not to get sunburned. It rained fairly often so that wasn't as hard as one might think. I never did make time to do laundry, the few windows of opportunity I had were rained out and nobody uses a clothes dryer there. Some might not agree with how I spent my limited time in a faraway land, perhaps they would see more value in taking photos of historic sites, riding horses through tobacco plantations or bartering in markets for handmade silver jewellery. I could have done any of those, but wandering the dirty streets of Habana holding hands with Luna seemed like more of a once in a lifetime opportunity to me. These two weeks might be all we ever get, and I think we both knew that.

As my time in Cuba drew short we joined some friends from Norway to spend a few days out on the beaches in Varadero. It was a bit more expensive than Habana but the beach was gorgeous. "Just like a windows screensaver", as Tuva put it. At the time I was a little annoyed to only have one small towel and have to share it between Luna and myself. As we lay together on the sand under the partial shade of a tree however, I looked up at the curves of her face and the sea salt on them which sparkled in the bright sun and knew I was looking at something beautiful I would never forget. Perhaps I wouldn't have seen it if I brought two towels! We all spent the night drinking beer and dancing on the sand, because of course Luna turns everything into a dance party.

When we went back I didn't have a casa because I was pretty much out of money, so we spent our last night together curled up at her house watching cartoons, playing xbox and eating cake and ice cream. We ate actual dinner too, she's a really good cook. (I don't know what it was but it had beef in it). Leaving the next day was not something I wanted to do at all. I almost missed my bus and wasn't sure I even cared. I didn't know what to expect from this trip but I wasn't prepared to fall for an amazing dream girl who totally loves me. We enjoy so many of the same things and did pretty well despite only having the most basic understanding of each other's languages. We come from such different worlds though, it's difficult to imagine what sort of a future we could hope for together. I have a whole life in Canada, and she is like a beautiful vibrant flower in a wild tropical garden. I can't simply pluck her from her native soil and take her somewhere else, she would not be the same without her family and friends and sun and food and music to nourish her heart and soul. Maybe these two enchanted weeks are all we get. I hope that isn't the case but relationships are like that. There are times with people that you just want to last forever but they never do, so it's important to make the most of the time you do have together.

I'm going to keep practicing skateboarding so if I do see Luna again, I'll be able to at least land an ollie.

Leave it better than you found it, and keep doing the thing.

#summer love #short but sweet #skateboarding romance #skateboarding love #skater girl #skate broads #unexpectedly well #that end too soon #live in the moment #havana #habana #cuba #gamer girl

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