thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

If men figured out that battery sizes work exactly like bra sizes it would blow the whole girl code open

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

I am walking down the sidewalk while drinking my signature drink^tm (half Seltzer, 1/4 sprite, 1/4 blue powerade) and transported back in time to ancient Rome where I am spotted by a centurion and immediately dragged to Ceasar

I'm in possession of a fizzy, unnatural blue sweet drink in a transparent container that isn't glass with chunks of ice in it

I am killed immediately for witchcraft

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

We stan a parentally responsible queen

the thing about Professor Utonium is he didn't accidentally create 3 daughters, he purposely created 3 daughters who accidentally have superpowers. the sugar, spice, and everything nice was intentional, only Chemical X was an accident

this guy became a girl dad on purpose and I am so proud of him for achieving his dream!

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

Somewhere I was born different

Trigger warning for a lot of things

Somewhere I was born with a brain that didn't try to rip itself apart. I once described having OCD as being pathologically given all of the empathy that genuine psychopaths pathologically lacked. I carry the weight of a million murders and other horrible things that I might have committed but don't remember, or that I might commit and that there's nothing I can do about. I've never been more terrified of myself than trying to live with my own brain

OCD is a perfectionism disorder, oh you have OCD you must be soooo clean! Oh you have OCD? What's your sock drawer look like? No No NO! OCD it's none of those things, it dooms me to a life of rethinking everything you've ever tried to put out of your mind. It's like being a broken record, or a cd that skips. I can't just change the channel I have to hold the button down constantly to even get the new thought to register as something resembling relief it's having infinite things in the world cause you pain and not even knowing what all of them are yet

I lived for so long thinking that I was a monster, evil, that I should go to hell. I thought that if I just tried hard enough my mental disability would go away and I'd be normal. I grew up undiagnosed genuinely believing that I just wasn't putting in enough effort. This is fundamentally untrue I will never be completely free of this I am disabled but I am not a monster I refused to be defined by this condition or separate it from who I am. I am not OCD and OCD is not me but I can't truly be the person I am without it because I've always lived like this.

Somewhere I was born different where I am not disabled but here is not that world and that's ok because I will keep persevering until I am no longer scared of my own mind

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

#yeah cause I feel like the main point here shouldn't be about whether or not sex work is degrading, physical actions don't have morality, that's something we assign based on so many pieces of context. What is degrading is being subjected to physical abuse because your body is deemed as having less worth than the output of your labor, which is bullshit

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

Ahh yes, Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Because the Greeks haven't used it for anal sex in at least 2800 years

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

So I have this vague but also vivid memory of something Absolutely Wild^tm that occurred at a regular Kroger when I must have been about 8.

It was some sort of in-store presentation of dishes and what not and the lady began by cracking a separating 4-5 eggs putting them into a bowl and then using this hand whisker thing that worked by pushing down on the handle.

The engineering itself was, interesting but rather unremarkable. She continued on with her spiel until about 10 minutes had passed with her babbling on about various forms of cutlery and accoutrements that Every Self Deserving Housewife Needs In Her Home all the while drawing the crowd in.

After she removed the whisk she held up the bowl now full of egg white fluff, future meringue if you will, but raw egg still nonetheless. The crowed ooh'd and ahh'd about how Quickly peakes had been reached and continued this positive reaction while she picked up a glass of black coffee and POORED. THE. RAW. EGGS. OVER. THE. COFFEE.

I did a double take, no one seemed to notice, and continued their grinning faces and nods of approval. Being 8 I hadn't had coffee, but I'd watched my grandparents make it and o was pretty sure it didn't have eggs in it, let alone raw eggs. Further more, she continued by saying that this was faaaaarrrrrr cheaper than Starbucks, to which everyone nodded to each other

So I guess to some up, does the average adult genuinely believe that Starbucks lattes are maze with cold coffee and raw egg whites???

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

They're bringing the milk back. We must stop this.

Long ago an ad campaign got started to pad the dairy industry and it became standard to drink a glass of milk everyday. This habit is dying out, so they're bringing it back.

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

This has been fun, I'm checking out, anybody want anything?

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

I remember this one time that my brother and I were at the aquarium and we saw a puffer fish and it was adorable and my brother said "it's so cute I could just eat it up" and then we met eyes and just went

NOOO

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

I'll have what they're having, strawberry pancakes, and the ability to taste them twice

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

#can confirm this is the same little guy that makes me eat all the pasta

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

I can tell that the tabs in my brain are getting mixed up because I just internally thought "if I was me where would I have put it" and genuinely thought about it for a second before realizing I am in fact, me

[thoughs-i-saved-for-tumb1r]

So my brother was telling me about how he calculated the speed of light for his science class last year and he got to the end of his story and he says "so that gave me the speed of light roughly" and my dad who's a smart aleck said "how can you have have a rough speed of light and a smooth speed of light?" So my brother patiently clarifies "no its just that my calculation wasn't as precise" so my dad asks him why and he (my brother) just deadpans

"Because one is a proton laser and the other was a microwave with peeps"