thesitcomarchive

[thesitcomarchive]

Tough Dilemmas that Could Occur For Each Order of the Knights Radiant...In A Modern-Day Sitcom

And if you like sitcoms + Stormlight, might I suggest giving @thesitcomarchive a try? Anyway, I was just thinking about sitcom-esque situations that would REALLY challenge those Radiant oaths...

1. Edgedancer

The Edgedancer's oath to listen and remember is put to the test when she meets a child with an ant farm--and yes, all 500 of the ants do have names.

2. Truthwatcher

The Truthwatcher knows how important tact is to their order, and they have always adhered to that principle. But they are about to face their greatest challenge yet: Thanksgiving Dinner.

3. Windrunner

The Windrunner has promised he'll help his friend move on the same day as he promised to help his mom cook for her dinner party. Now he must somehow keep both promises at once .

4. Skybreaker

Having learned about Rule 34, a poor Skybreaker now must ensure that there is in fact porn...of everything.

5. Lightweaver

A new Lightweaver struggles to confess their deepest secret--namely that they honestly thought that the Glee cover of Bohemiam Rhapsody was the original.

6. Elsecaller

An Elsecaller fights frustration with her new cat, who wants to be let into Shadesmar. And then out of Shadesmar. And then in again. And then out.

7. Stoneward

A Stoneward is initially excited to learn that his new manager loves team building. But the excitement fades when he realizes that the team building exercises are really REALLY bad...

8. Dustbringer

A Dustbringer child has had a great day taking part every single electronic in the house. But she just got a call...her parents will be home in 30 minutes!

9. Willshaper

A Willshaper's teenage daughter is insisting that being grounded counts as "unjust imprisonment."

10. Bondsmith

A Bondsmith is tasked to help with a mixed-media sculpture: wood, cloth, clay, stone, paper...and the artist only has like two kinds of glue.

[thesitcomarchive]

When The Lopen repeatedly asks for more and more stew every night, it is quickly discovered he is running a profitable stew reselling business in the upper levels of the Tower. Wit is revealed to have been working on what he calls a new "Secret Story", very soon after debuting his last five. A new Bridge Four recruit develops a fear of heights.

[thesitcomarchive]

In a fit of anger, Moash resolves to burn everything that reminds him of Kaladin, however he quickly realises that everything he looks at does. Odium establishes a mental health clinic in Kharbronth in hopes of recruiting fledgling Radiants. Leshwi challenges a sky-eel to a duel in the surge of Gravitation but fails to finish the job as she finds it fights too honorably.

[thesitcomarchive]

Glys gives Renarin a vision of him falling over in front of a certain handsome Listener. In the hopes of escaping this mortifying fate, he asks the rest of Bridge Four to fly him everywhere for a week. Rlain inversely receives a vision of Renarin falling into his arms and makes as many excuses as possible for Bridge Four to land the Prince onto slippery surfaces. Pattern develops a crush on a suitably complex mathematical equation.

[thesitcomarchive]

After promising to be present on both a romantic date with Adolin as well as an important meeting with her fellow Radiants, Shallan must use her Lightweaving to appear in two places at once. While practicing Surgebinding with Szeth, Kaladin misuses Cohesion and the two have to learn to get through the day literally stuck together. Dalinar is banned from the tower's book club after his suggestion every week is always the way of kings.

[thesitcomarchive]

"You sent it to the sky to die, thief, but the sky and the winds are mine. I claim them, as I now claim your life." Kaladin cries, stormlight puffing from his lips, at a sky-eel that just stole his bowl of stew. "You cannot have my pain!" Dalinar proclaims, bellowing, when offered an ice pack.

[thesitcomarchive]

As more and more of Urithiru's advanced technology is brought back online, Dalinar enthusiastically begins assisting Navani with her discoveries until he quickly runs out of time to do anything else. Adolin discovers a strange box in the tower that allows him to save images of himself and uses it to catalogue himself in all of his fashionable outfits. He dubs such images "selfies". The Sibling is revealed to be a gamer.

[thesitcomarchive]

Meanwhile, on Scadrial

Wayne is convinced someone has swapped out his lucky hat for an indistinguishable copy that he insists just doesn't feel the same. Wax agrees to go and see a marriage counsellor after an argument only to discover Steris herself is the therapist. Elsewhere, Kelsier is sure he's having better luck than usual after coming across a certain piece of clothing.

[thesitcomarchive]

Navani, for no particular reason, begins asking Dalinar to wear pieces of crustacean armour and act more feminine in the bedroom. Dalinar agrees on the condition she wears forest green and threaten to abandon him on a bridgerun every now and then. Adolin tries out this "therapy" thing Kaladin has been working on after walking in on the two of them together.

[thesitcomarchive]

Wanting a chance for a romantic getaway with Shallan, Adolin tries to convince Dalinar it's of immense strategic importance to send them and some Windrunners to retake the purelake. Lift and Szeth hold an ice skating competition, both certain the other will be a pushover. Pattern attempts to find the perfect hiding spot so noone will walk in on him dividing by zero.

[thesitcomarchive]

Dalinar tries his best to introduce his latest interests, knitting, to a meeting with the Rosharan world leaders, claiming that the act of bringing different threads together is of Honour. Teft has a falling out with Phendorana but realises they can't go more than five feet from eachother without damaging their bond. Kaladin attempts to help them get back together with the new hobby Dalinar's been telling him about.

[thesitcomarchive]

Kaladin bumps into an ex who he's convinced thinks she is winning the breakup despite him being a knight radiant. He tries to casually show off his new powers in front of her but repeatedly runs out of stormlight at innopurtune moments. After eating a large meal, Lift finds herself unable to to un-awesomeify herself and can't stop sliding. Shallan walks in on Adolin in a compromising position with his Shardblade.

[thesitcomarchive]

Navani invents a new fabrial that causes people to lose their memories but can't relay her findings to anyone as every time she tries to use it and figure out what it does she forgets the last five minutes. Shallan is advised to practice self love only to end up in an argument with Radiant and Veil. Kaladin redoubles his attempts to learn the flute.

[thesitcomarchive]

After hearing tales of Horneaters eating Chulls Lift sets her sights on stealing the biggest food of them all; a Chasmfiend. Adolin is reminded of his 4 on 1 duel back on the shattered plains and begins to duel increasingly ridiculous amounts of foes so he's not caught out again. Nightblood debates Kaladin on philosophy.

[thesitcomarchive]

While playing with Oroden, Kaladin lashes his baby brother to the ceiling to entertain him. After a momentary distraction he loses the now upside down baby and has to enlist the help of the entire tower to find him. Shallan accidentally soulcasts their treasury of spheres into lavis grain. While practicing Elsecalling, Jasnah manages to transport herself directly to the spiritual realm and briefly experiences all of time and space in a single eternal moment, which she describes as not even the most stressful thing to happen to her that week.

[thesitcomarchive]

Rysn returns to Urithiru with a hot new item after leaving to trade with the Shin and everyone in the tower is fascinated by this "Poodle" thing she's brought with her. After seeing it's fierce loyalty and love Dalinar attempts to recruit it to the Knights Radiant and Nightblood tries to convince Szeth to unsheathe him so he can pet it. Kaladin suspects it of being Odium's spy.

[thesitcomarchive]

To prove to Shallan that he's "still got it" Adolin tries to woo a lady from the local tavern. After many dissapointing results he strikes gold only to discover it was Shallan in a lightweaving after feeling bad for him. Kaladin goes to a spar to relax but Stormlight keeps healing his muscles back to being wound up.