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[thefinalaeon]

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in elden ring there are two types of boss; "beautiful" and "wet". if you're a beautiful boss your name is something like melinar the crimson spear or gondwana the gleaming and you're rocking an 80 inch pin-straight middle-parted wig. if you're a wet boss your name is randal reamtaint the revolting or lord giger groundstooth of the death brigade and you're built like a small- to medium-sized airplane in every direction. in both cases you are welsh.

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I will NOT throw a temper tantrum because I went to work on my day off thinking I'd only be there for an hour but didn't call first and make sure that everything was ready for me so I got there and nothing was ready and nobody knew where anything was and my boss didn't do the things he said he would do to make things ready for me today so I had to leave before I said something stupid and now I have to go back tomorrow but the problem isn't really going to be fixed when i get there because apparently I have to be the one to do everything and nothing is ever communicated so I have to deal with it all over again.

But I will get very close. 🤡

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Do you ever randomly get an idea of something you want stuck in your head and it's the only thing you're going to think about for weeks on end and your life is literally meaningless until you get this thing?

So anyways, I want a cactuar tattoo and I'm not going to be happy until I get one. Which is unfortunate because I can't afford food. :)

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What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

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pro tip: if some loser ever starts talking shit to you in a video game just type in chat "the angry gamer". 9/10 times they will respond back even more irritated and then you can hit them with "the very angry gamer" and you can just keep going with it' "the big mad gamer", "the raging gamer", "the pissing and shitting gamer" etc. its so simple but it makes them lose their shit so bad they spend the rest of the game coping in chat instead of actually playing. give it a try next time you kill some loser and they call you a pedo 👍

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raw dogging tumblr (I don't use queue)

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hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot

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Do you guys have any funny or entertaining stories about people you went to high school with? Please share. I'll start.

1. Freshman year, two kids in our class who'd never met before started dating. About 2-3 months in, they discovered they were cousins (and yes, stopped dating). Surprisingly, they were not white 🤔

2. Two different people I graduated with went on Jerry Springer.

3. A fairly well-known (I guess?) family in my town, and that I graduated with, have now multiple reality TV shows, and are basically universally hated for being douche bags and cons, lol.

Your turn!!! Share your lore!!

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reblog if you're corny and insufferable

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