thedazzlingburglar

[thedazzlingburglar]

broke: Jason bragging about being on the FBI’s most wanted list

woke: Jason purposefully killing people on the FBI’s most wanted list in order to get higher

bespoke: Jason calling the FBI to tell them it’s bullshit he’s higher up on the most wanted list than [actual dangerous mob family head in Gotham]

[thedazzlingburglar]

Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me? A quote from Little Weirds by Jenny Slate engraved in a wooden spoon, 2022. (ig @jannekemakes)

[thedazzlingburglar]

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

Wade at the local bodega: What do you want?

Gabby: The souls of the innocent!!

Wade: hm...A bagel?

Gabby: Nooo!!

Wade: Two bagels!!

From all new Wolverine #31

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

bruce wayne dilf agenda

[thedazzlingburglar]

[thedazzlingburglar]

Batman VS Everyone

If Batman gets prep time, so does everyone else

[thedazzlingburglar]

'this property says it has nine acres but those neighbours look pretty clo-'

oh.

ohhhhhhhhh no

[thedazzlingburglar]

still kind of hilarious that people in the witcher universe are often extremely racist against witchers. like bro. how you gonna have beef with the pest control guys. sure they have yellow cat eyes and creepy magic powers but they got those specifically as part of the process to become the pest control guys. your pests are six feet tall and killing the neighborhood kids. why are you like this

[thedazzlingburglar]

joey batey did not write "you're not a coward cause you cower; you're brave because they broke you, yet broken, still you breathe" (x) to be known as the toss a coin to your witcher guy