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[theconfidentwife]

And she was clothed in Confidence

The Confident Wife

[theconfidentwife]

Treasured Warriors: A Deserted Market

Where is the man that is going to take me off of this deserted market? 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what can blossom from something deserted? I can continue with analogies all day long, but let’s address the real issues at hand. 

1) Boundaries

2) Self Care

3) Walking in Purpose

Boundaries: You must be willing to stand strong on the boundaries you’ve put out into the universe. People rarely forget the things one said they wouldn’t do. When you go against your word, you’ve crossed your own boundary and have created a pathway for people to challenge your inconsistency. How committed are you to your own boundaries? Especially when it comes to a relationship... or when it comes to ending one because your boundaries have been crossed. Forgiveness is a good quality to possess, however, it doesn’t mean a person has to remain in your life at the same capacity after they’ve crossed a boundary.

Self Care: The whole idea that the man that God has for me better accept me for who I am is a joke, a lie, and an excuse for laziness. The man God has for you is also attracted by what he see’s. The way you look when you leave the house to run to the grocery store is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you. There is a fine line between over doing it and not doing enough, and it’s important to find that sweet spot. When you’re ready to accept the person God has for you, yes, you can make lounge wear look like a cocktail dress because there is a natural glow that pours out of you that will attract many. However, the truth is, most of us say we’re ready for a spouse and have some emotional growing to do. 

Walking in Purpose: I heard a preacher once say when you’re walking in your purpose the person who is capable of supporting you in it will find you there. I soon realized that most of us do the opposite. We first, are so busy looking we take away the man’s responsibility to look. We second, hope the man we find will then help us discover our purpose. For the sake of trying something different in order to get different results, let’s do this. Discover our purpose and begin living in it. On the road to discovery, your spouse may find you there. 

Being single is not easy. It wasn’t long ago that I was an unmarried woman. However, my journey to being The Confident Wife started with the three touch points that I mentioned. I had to set boundaries before a relationship, during and even more so now that I’m married. I had to and have to take care of myself; physically, emotionally and spiritually in order to be whole. And most importantly, I have to walk in my purpose so that I can continue to discover who I am and why God choose me to live. Being single is not a death sentence, it’s an opportunity for self discovery. In your weak moments of waiting for your spouse remember the wait doesn’t have to be done in misery, it can be done victoriously. 

<3 TCW

[theconfidentwife]

It’s not you, it’s me.

What kind of woman would I be if I didn’t confess my reality. 

My power plays and devious ways stem from a void not even you can fill. 

I thirst for answers of the past I never knew. 

I’m hungry for someone who’s shoes don’t belong to you. 

I wake up with wet eyes from tears I never knew I cried

I go to sleep having dreamed nightmares I never closed my eyes to see. 

The kind of woman I was before you stemed from the life I was born into. 

The kind of woman I am now will be from the life I choose with you.

[theconfidentwife]

When “Do Not Answer” Calls

“I just got in from my trip and the first person I want to see is you, is that a crime? My wife has been blowing me up, yet I’m calling you. I miss you, where are you so I can come see you?” Do Not Answer said. 

Men love a challenge and women love to be chased. Temptation doesn’t stop because you say I do. In fact, I’d say you make yourself a larger target after the nuptials. You’d be a fool to think that your ring is a garment that blocks off predators or communicates to men today that you’re unavailable. You’d be an even bigger fool if you thought your desire to want to be chased stops because your man “caught you”. In the 21st century, the statistics around cheating spouses are discouraging to anyone seeking marriage. Now let’s be real for a second, people have been cheating since sin began. Why people cheat will always change, but one factor remains constant, the lack of discipline.

When you agree to get married, you agree to one person. For some of us, that can be difficult. When you’ve spent the first half of your dating life with a lineup of men that got you what you wanted when you wanted it, settling down and having one man to “do it all” is without a doubt, a challenge. Even after you say I do, some of “the lineup” falls back, but you’ll have one or two who feel like they can still shoot their shot. Especially if they’re in the same boat, married. Those “in the same boat” believe both of you will act right since both of you have something to loose. For the rest of us who weren’t the juggling type, it’s possible that someone other than your significant other makes you smile when you need it most. Or if you want to act like all your ducks are in a row, that’s fine… for now.

What do you do when you get a call from “Do Not Answer” and he/she is offering $1,000 for 20 minutes of playtime? To make matters worse, you’re tight on funds and the next wave of bills paid means you’re on a ramen noodle budget until the next paycheck. Or maybe that someone who makes you smile on your off days and finally asks to grab lunch or drinks after work. Or, for those of you with your ducks in a row, how about the numbers in your phone or Facebook friends/Snap Chat followers you’re still connected to “just because”. The temptation to cheat doesn’t disappear because you made a commitment. What separates cheaters verses non cheaters is simply discipline. Whether it’s spending 100 hours in prayer to fight against principalities or downloading apps that block any and everything from certain contacts, discipline is what keeps us committed.

When tempted, The Confident Wife is resilient.

[theconfidentwife]

A way out isn't an option after I do. A way through is!

The Confident Wife

[theconfidentwife]

Being single isn't a death sentence. It's an opportunity to be found and treasured.

Treasured Warriors on behalf of TCW

[theconfidentwife]

Connect with us!

Get connected with the Confident Wives Monday mornings! To get added to our motivational text messages on Mondays, email us at ConfidentWives@Gmail.com with your First and Last Name, and cell phone number. 

[theconfidentwife]

Flawless in Him

The lyrics that caught a lot of women’s ears, “I woke up like this… Flawless” has started a pattern of beliefs, benchmarks and ideas that as women we have to live, flawless. Whether we’re willing to admit it or not, we all strive to mask our flaws as if they don’t make us who we are. Cute, “I got to have it” T-shirts and off the shoulder sweatshirts are made with flawless splashed on the front… designed specifically for women to perpetrate this idealistic way of thinking. With every form of merchandising they’ve produced, it continuously reminds us that in some way, we’re flawed. In one area we may feel as though we’ve reached a flawless state, but those aren’t the areas society glorifies. Whether we’re a size 0 – 6 – 12 – 20+, we all stand in the mirror and find something that’s flawed. Blame it on a woman’s keen ability to notice details!

               A comforting reassurance will come from no one but the Man upstairs. We will spend hours, days, or even years (for some of us) trying to find a mate or looking for our mate to give us that reassurance that we’re in some way, shape or form perfect to them. Well ladies, good day – you will be waiting. Our friends or husbands have told us “That dress looks great on you,” when we tried it on in the dressing room. We either 1 (if you’re like me) didn’t buy it or 2 like many other women, bought it and it’s still sitting in the closet with the tag on it. Word of advice, take it back! If not, sell it! Those pieces of clothing you’re holding onto with hopes that one day, you’re going to buck up and wear are small reminders that you’re not where you want to be. Stop torturing yourself already, just get rid of the clothes. It may not always be clothes, it could be a lip color you don’t believe you can pull off, or high heels you’re likely to trip in after 5 steps. Stop perpetuating the flawless cycle. Recognize, for society, you’re flawed and that’s okay.

What I love about this life is this: from where I stand, I am flawless! I know I am made in His image and His likeness. I know the average body size is this and my hair if I want respect should look like this. I know that white teeth, fresh breath and a face “beat” to a flawless finish is what society wants me to have and/or look like. What separates The Confident Wife and Treasured Warriors from the rest of society is that before we put on any of the external identifiers, who we are, is defined by us knowing we’re made perfect through Christ.  

Society will put a lot of pressure on you to get rid of flaws. Let’s be honest, the beauty industry, dermatologists and Plastic Surgeons have million’s - even billion - dollar industries made from people’s beliefs that they have to be flawless. Let’s do ourselves a favor and accept our flaws. Let’s say thank you whenever someone compliments us in areas we perceive as weak. Most importantly, let’s start looking at ourselves as perfect (flawless) in Him!

Bible references: Genesis 1:27 | Deuteronomy 32:4 |

[theconfidentwife]

Reshaping Destiny

What if I told you that your words have the power to create life or destroy it? What if told you that the way your life is today could be because you spoke it once before? 

My husband approached me - vulnerable and frustrated, asking me what I thought about something. When he asked me the question, I stopped for a moment to think because I knew my response needed to be thought out. When is the last time you thought about a response before responding? When is the last moment you asked yourself - will my thoughts speak life into them or speak death over them? Not even just for your spouse... what about friends/family/strangers etc.

The words I spoke into my husband gave him hope. They gave him perspective. They gave my husband the surge of energy he needed in order to take back his destiny and reshape it to fit the life he wants to live. I had a choice to degrade him, agree with the opposition and/or tell him ‘I told you so’. Sometimes, I told you so feels so good but, I told you so doesn’t feel so good when you have to console a man who feels like the world is caving in around him. Most of the time, I told you so isn’t necessary, but your words of encouragement do.

Scripture Reference: Power in your words

[theconfidentwife]

Wisdom’s Gender: She

A lot of times, women downplay how awesome they are! How awesome we are!  We doubt if our opinion matters, if our thoughts are valid, if or when our voices should be heard. What separates us from men, is that God embedded wisdom in our DNA. He assigned wisdom a gender, He called it “She”.

In our text blast on Monday, we talked about wisdom being a blessing and a curse. We also discussed how owning this characteristic is imperative to our roles as wives, mothers, friends or daughters. This characteristic is what helps carries our families. This characteristic is what carries us. 

Abigail, a woman married to a man full of wealth had to make a call. She was described as intelligent and beautiful, while her husband was described as surly and mean in his dealings. Have you ever had to make a call that potentially undermined a boss, colleague or spouse? Have you ever thought about making a call that could destroy your relationship with that person, but you know in your heart it’s the right call? When the time came to make the call -  instead of anxiousness, you felt peace! You saw a clear sky, felt a burst of boldness and just moved off of instinct. 

This is Abigail! You are Abigail - a woman who can make a calculated decision to protect her home, to protect her world. She made a call to gather an abundance of her husbands wealth to stop rage from spilling over into her home, rage that stemmed from her husband’s arrogance. Wisdom is rational, it’s calculated and makes tough calls. Even so - wisdom, that God embedded in our DNA provides us with the clarity on how to make tough calls. 

Start speaking up in meetings. Start speaking up in your conversations with your husbands. Start being honest with your friends when you don’t agree with something they’re doing. Wisdom lives in you, it’s embedded in your DNA. Trust the creator, He makes no mistakes. You are wisdom, wisdom is in you! 

[theconfidentwife]

[theconfidentwife]

[theconfidentwife]

[theconfidentwife]

Wake up to his goodness and be full of his love.

The Confident Wife

[theconfidentwife]

Connect with us!

Get connected with the Confident Wives Monday mornings! To get added to our motivational text messages on Mondays, email us at ConfidentWives@Gmail.com with your First and Last Name, and cell phone number. 

[theconfidentwife]

Wisdom was assigned a gender, God calls it, 'She'

The Confident Wife

[theconfidentwife]