thecartomancysystem

[thecartomancysystem]

“I refuse to limit my potential because there are people who don’t believe I’m capable of extraordinary things.”

— Ekta Somera

[thecartomancysystem]

storybrooksystem—> thecartomancysystem

Name change! So much has happened over the past couple of months that we all decided we needed a new name. Cartomancy is the practice of divination using cards (think Tarot) and several of us are Tarot readers so we think it fits us better.

We’re sorry for the long absence, guys. We’ll try to be around more in the future. Chronic illness and trauma processing is hard.

[thecartomancysystem]

[thecartomancysystem]

everyone around me be like: haha i remember my childhood SO WELL! here’s some well detailed funny memories that i have :)

i be like: uh i remember like… the smell of my kindergarten classroom and like…. tv commercials from the early 2000s and the impending sense of doom and overwhelming crushing loneliness.

[thecartomancysystem]

That other post is exactly what people mean when they say “there’s no such thing as a standard trigger.”

It sounds like such dramatic, childish bullshit to say “I’m triggered when people don’t pay attention to me” but. Dude. Yeah. Being ignored, even if it’s unintentional or accidental, reminds me of an abuser who would ignore me to the point that he pretended I wasn’t real and convinced me that I had hallucinated some of our interactions. Being reminded of that feeling causes me to have real, physiological symptoms in the present day without ever being directly exposed to that abuser anymore.

Triggers are fuckin’ weird.

And that’s okay! It’s totally normal to have “unusual” triggers!

(I’d actually be willing to bet that everyone who has “sudden noises” as a trigger also has something very specific to their situation that is a “weird” trigger. I’d be willing to bet that “unusual” triggers outnumber “standard” triggers by a huge margin but “standard” triggers just happen for a broader base of people. Hell, even two people who experienced the same trauma, like say 9/11, might share “airplanes” as a trigger but maybe one also has “taxis” and the other has “pizza” because of how they each experienced the event)

That’s why making fun of “weird” triggers is such a shitty thing to do.

[thecartomancysystem]

Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

[thecartomancysystem]

Daily Reminder.

[thecartomancysystem]

just go enjoy your life, 

[thecartomancysystem]

Today’s ridiculously specific emotion is ‘dahmer and the limbs but it’s playing from another room while you’re showering in the dark’

[thecartomancysystem]

not sure if this will make sense to anyone besides me but: the antidote to negativity is not positivity, its warmth

[thecartomancysystem]

Since I’m still waiting for replacement pen tips (so I can’t do more involved art,) I made a handy visual for Words About Parts and What They Mean!

Disclaimer: “Fusion” is the only one I looked up from the ISSTD, the rest are simply common/layman’s terms for how different states feel (to me.) These things may not feel the same to every system and that’s okay!

[Check out my DID/OSDD Casually Explained masterpost for sources and more infographics!]

[thecartomancysystem]

[thecartomancysystem]

[thecartomancysystem]

[thecartomancysystem]

Some Things I Didn’t Realize Were Complex Trauma Symptoms

I don’t usually post personal shit but my friend and I were talking and there were some things she didn’t know were PTSD related, and sometimes it’s just so weird and out there so. Some stuff I learned too late were caused by trauma:

- Nightmares that have *nothing* to do with your trauma

- Getting angry at anything that startles you/is loud/is irriatating

- Becoming alarmingly calm in situations of crisis/chaos

- Shaking, just, all the time

- Needing very little sleep to function effectively

- Massive mood swings that often get mistaken for personality or mood disorders

- Feeling like there is a layer of dirt on you/that your skin is dirty and needing to get it off

- Believing you will die young and alone !! Big one!!

- Looking for reasons to cut people out of your life

- Needing things to be exactly as you like them to be – not necessarily clean/organized but just to be a specific way and be within your control, and getting angry when it is not *this one gets mistaken for OCD v often

- Preferring high stress/very busy lifestyles to keep occupied

- Needing compression/pressure (ie tight shoelaces, heavy coats and blankets, snug fitting hats, etc) to feel comfortable/safe

- Discomfort with silence

- Very sensitive to heat, smell, and lighting

- Ringing in ears!! I had no idea about this one tinnitus is not that uncommon for ptsd, even if there was no direct head trauma involved

- Physical numbness, often in arms & hands when a flashback or panic attack is about to start

- Derailing conversations when they are causing stress

- Sudden and unexplained onsets of just the most deep sense of melancholy (often accompanied by a lot of tears)

These are just the ones I know of from experience, if there are any others ppl know of and were surprised by pls add. But yea ptsd is not always flashbacks and panic attacks and avoiding triggers, it’s also just random small shit that effects how you exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thecartomancysystem]

No matter how much you ate yesterday, you still need to eat today.💓

[thecartomancysystem]

*opens the groupchat at breakfast to backread like its the morning paper*