the-trashbin

[the-trashbin]

sunken statue

Once, my mind stood tall— a marble marvel, etched with clarity, ideas chiseled to perfection, confidence gleaming in the sun.

Now, it's buried beneath waves of silence, edges worn dull by years of doubt, a monument swallowed by time and saltwater.

Familiar shapes eroded, sharp thoughts softened into shadows, the once-proud figure fading into sea mist.

No one dives deep enough to see it anymore— not even me.

[the-trashbin]

Hello April

please be kind to me and the ones i love, let this be the happiest and the most blessed Springtime & let me make the most precious memories 🌿🪻🌸

[the-trashbin]

When all we can dare write are the articles... "A..." "The"

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now listening:

♫I know I'm only human, don't know how many sunsets I got left, but I don't wanna ruin this moment by wondering what comes next. I just want to love you like its all I'm living for, hold you close, enjoy you more - spend a little less time keeping score.♫

[the-trashbin]

i have hate in my heart

I have hate in my heart, and I don't like it. It feels like it's eating me up inside— it just doesn't feel right. It's a weight that pulls down on me, a ball and chain clamped to my foot. I want to get rid of it, but I also can't let it go.

If I were underwater, I know I'd drown. Even knowing that, I still can't let it go.

04082025 /m.r./

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I was reading Atomic Habits yesterday and I felt guilty about the fact that I'm not really in the right headspace to read a book about someone telling me to change a little bit of what I do on a daily basis to make some change. I am waaay to impatient at the moment for that. So I'm switching ti TF&S for now. Wish me luck! 😅

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Currently reading... barely 20 pages in and I'm sleepy.

time check: 01:01 am.

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Safari Park

30 March 2025

Went to Safari Park despite having slight fever. I promised we'd go and the tickets were non-refundable, so we went.

It was too hot out, around 35° C, I was drinking water all the time but was still parched!

It was worth it though because my wife genuinely thanked me. Which is a rarity nowadays especially after what happened.

Also, it was a good excuse to use my Canon R50. ♥

I'm no photographer, but these are my favorite shots.

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“I think people would be happier if they admitted things more often. In a sense we are all prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we are all defined by something we can’t change.”

— Simon Van Booy

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In the heart of a bustling city, two women find themselves drawn to the same quaint café, captivated by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and tea, and the comforting hum of conversation. Fate brings them together, and an unspoken connection blossoms between them.

As they navigate the complexities of modern life, the café becomes a sanctuary-a space where they can share dreams, fears, and the simple joys of life without the pressure of societal labels. The absence of names fosters a unique intimacy, allowing them to connect on a level transcending conventional friendships.

Bonded through each other's mystery, will their interests towards each other fade once they get to know each other a little too well?

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“Nothing is quite as beautiful as someone who has survived losing everything and still has a tender heart.”

— Unknown

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i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki

I have not eaten tteokbokki yet, but I fully intend to try it in time.

Let me start by saying that this book was recommended to me by a friend solely because of the title. And for her, instead of tteokbokki, she wants to eat tempura. 😊

The book is a deeply personal read—it feels like peering into someone else’s diary or blog. I applaud the author for being able to write about herself with such vulnerability, showcasing all the intrusive thoughts that run through her mind about something—or worse, someone.

If she were your friend and spoke to you with the same level of honesty she shares with her therapist, you’d probably think, "There’s something wrong with you!" But it’s fun because she thinks the same way I would have if I were in her position—at a time when everyone else’s opinion of me seemed more important than my own.

I wish I had read this when I was younger, maybe in my teens. Coz I think my younger self would have deeply related to her. I, too, was a walking contradiction, if I may say so myself. I would feel proud of myself in some moments, only to end up hating myself because pride felt too much like boasting, and I was taught to be humble.

And we are always our own harshest critics. It doesn’t matter what other people say, it doesn’t matter if we did well—what matters is that we could have done better, but we didn’t. So what’s the point?

Character-wise, the author and I? Total opposites. But the way her mind works—the way she overthinks, overanalyzes, feels so relatable. That feeling of, "I do this and that, but somehow the other person still seems to be worth more?" Yeah. We all go through that, but no one really says it out loud.

The book doesn’t have a happy ending. Actually, it doesn’t have an ending at all. It just talks about how mental health progress isn’t some J-curve or a straight line—it’s a messy doodle. And sometimes, just when you think you’re about to finally hit that stage of emotional stability, you get pulled right back to where you started. And that’s okay.

[the-trashbin]

I've always found it hard to write about my feelings for Trig (Trigger), especially on Tumblr, where I know she could read them. I get a little shy thinking about what she’d think of me if she saw them. I have a few private posts about her on my old blogs, but overall, I’ve had the biggest crush on her, and she truly deserves every ounce of that admiration.

Recently, we’ve reconnected and caught up on life—especially books. She's incredibly smart, and I absolutely love picking her brain. And for months (years even), I was unable to write anything. I felt like an empty bucket of trash. But now, I’ve started writing again and have new entries—this being the first of, hopefully, many.

Also, I’ve gone back to my story! I’ve been wanting to edit it for a while, and I’ve finally started. Yey! I'm thinking of redoing the title, "Between the Lines" or "Tea and Intrigue"? I don't know... we'll see.

Thank you, Trig. Genuinely, thank you! ♥

Now, for the exciting part—I finally bought a physical copy of Before the Coffee Gets Cold and am about to dive into I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki.

Fingers crossed that the latter will be just as good as the first, since I’ve already read Before the Coffee Gets Cold, and we both approve.

[the-trashbin]

2025 Company Iftar

Okay, so um, this was my first time attending the company iftar—mostly because HR usually isn’t invited to these events. LOL. And honestly? Probably my last. It wasn’t all that appealing. There was food, people ate, and then they left. Not really my cup of tea (or coffee).

Thanks for the invite, but sitting around with coworkers, making forced small talk and engaging in fake conversations? Yeah, not my thing. The food was good, though.

[the-trashbin]

drunk, once.

Last week, a colleague shared that she divorced her husband because he developed a habit of drinking and saying the cruelest things when he was drunk. The final straw for her was when he got so drunk, he collapsed right in front of their daughter.

As usual, I brought up the topic to H as a way to make small talks. She quickly connected it back to me mentioning that the one time I got so drunk, vomited, and fell asleep in her friend's house. It was bad, I know. I've been so embarrassed ever since and actually stopped drinking a drop (and I don't usually drink anyway). Anyway, she said she actually considered leaving me then. Apparently, she thought I had no self-control when it came to peer pressure and she will not tolerate it.

13 years. 13 years of our relationship, and I’ve only been drunk once—and she’s holding it over my head like it’s this huge flaw that deserves to be constantly thrown in my face. NO self-control, she said. Wow!

Obviously, I got a little frustrated. I stayed quiet for a moment, took a deep breath, and then tried to lighten the mood by joking, “LOL, na back to you ko dah,” and laughed it off.

But then she replied, “Then be careful what you tell me, because it can easily be about you.”

It got awkward for a while, and when things get awkward, I do a task. So I managed to finish all of the clothes that needed ironing. Haha.

(Haaaaay)

[the-trashbin]

Hold on. Just. Hold. On.