the-oncelors-asscrack

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Can't wait for the new season of Peter Johnson, Heroes of Ohio

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What kind of chicken shit did I post here..

I'm pretty sure that was 1am Quinn..

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This was funnier in my head

Me: Remember kids, steal knees and take names.

Friend A: I don’t think that’s how it works, Quinn...

Me, holding a bag of knee joints with blood on them and a name card that says Kevin: Did I stutter

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About to go to bed and turn off the lights so I say "Alexa turn off Quinn's bedroom" but what I actually said was "Bisexual turn off Quinn's bedroom" and I stared at the ceiling in gay silence before I heard my dead mumble "that would be you" under his breath in the room next door

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I managed to train my keyboard to correct P to Puthie and I am God level shit right now

Its 1am and this is what I chose to do with my time instead of studying for my goddamn midterms in 5 hours what the fucn

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What if

when you play the sims you’re actually playing another person’s life? The glitches are the glitches we think we see in real life, and the people we design and control are the future souls that come into the world, though we don’t always get to meet those people? And whenever the game crashes, it’s the person dying?

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Vent #2

Mom: He's so proper, quiet and kind because he was trained.

Me: *is quiet because I'm afraid of being yelled at or looked at like I'm disgusting for what I say*

Me: *is proper because I get yelled at when I'm being lazy and myself*

Me: *is kind because I'm afraid of people hating me for being my sarcastic and funny self*

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Vent #1

Mom: God why are you so fucking lazy?

Also Mom: *Acts toxic and criticizes me my entire life*

Me, a depressed teenager who nearly has anxiety attacks around her, rarely eats because he was called a pig when he was in 5th grade for being hungry, and rarely comes out of his room because he gets in trouble and yelled at for no reason: :)

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Story Time #1

Okok so I just got a flash of the past- So I��m not a crying kind of person, right? I only cry when it makes sense to. But when I was 13, I was in scouts camp and it was the last day to be in the camp. One of the counselors made waffles and they were the best fucking things in the universe, so I loved them and did as much as I could to get seconds and thirds. But there was one last waffle left available, so I went around doing multiple chores just to get this one waffle.

After I did all the work, I sat down to eat the waffle. But I ended up tripping and dropping it on the floor while it was covered in syrup, and I fucking cried my eyes out. Kids in the camp thought it was so confusing because they had never seen me cry before, even when someone died. I called my dad to bring me home and I never went back to the camp, yet I still fantasize about those goddamn waffles. Nothing could compare.

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Fan Theory #1 || BNHA

When Izuku is upset one day, Class 1A gets an idea. After he falls asleep they get access to the notebooks he has with his notes about each of his classmates and their quirks, and they all leave little written notes on the back of the cover telling them how much he means to each of them, and they add little written notes in each part of the notebook that needs extra information or the part that isn’t accurate.

When he wakes up, Izuku reads each note and ends up crying for hours. And he cries even more when he finds out that Katsuki joined in and wrote a note.

“ You forgot to write I’m your rival, you fucking nerd. “

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God

Cat: *breaths*

Me:

Me: Hey your shoes are upside down

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Fuck Loli Girlfriends

I want a tall gf/bf/partner so I can latch onto their legs and hold on while they walk around the house or a short one so I can carry them in a shopping cart so we can drive around a Denny's parking lot while its empty and jam to One Direction

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OKOK let’s test my abilities. I saw this post a few seconds ago, so let’s drop this right here.

The girl with sparkling pink hair that practically dripped down her back loved to drink upon her glass of cherry soda. Her hair was shining like gummy worms, and her eyes were as round and popping as a gumdrop. Whenever she spoke, her sour attitude appeared and hurt those around her. The sour spikes on her neck stung the inside of the mouth of her and anyone who got close. She was sour, but really sweet when you stayed with her long enough. Her name was Sienna Gump, the Sour Patch Kid.

Create an OC based on a type of candy!

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How is it that I have known about my bisexuality for about 3 years now, yet it has not helped me at all in panicking about hot people in Hot Topic any less??

Like fuck?? Punk girls in the jewelry section?? Blue haired boys in the Harry Potter area?? Nonbinary hotties in the anime section?? Everyone’s?? Hot??

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I just went to BoxLunch at the mall and saw this adorable worker there who complimented my Haikyuu mask and said she was a huge anime nerd of her coworkers and omg I wish I got her number or something because I’d love to be her friend!! She had such a cute pink sweater on, too!!

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Story Prompt #1

The entire cast of Rise of The Guardians, but make it a bunch of prepubescent teenagers who are assigned the role of a holiday character and must continue the tradition of maintaining their holiday to its fullest potential, and finding a successor for the job when they get close to retirement.

9,007th Jack Frost: Okay but what the fuck is this stick?

Jack Frost: It gives you powers.

9,007: But wouldn’t an ice launcher work better, if you have to bring winter every year?

Jack Frost:

Jack Frost: Shut the fuck up and take the fucking stick.

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2020 is Over

Why isn’t my depression