thatsanicecoat

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Sara: *is bed with the flu for the ninth time this year* Oh, look at me, I’m Tegan Rain, I have the perfect immune system and height and no chronic illnesses

Tegan: I just asked if you wanted some soup

Sara: Go fuck yourself Tegan!!

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Tegan: This date is boring.

Sara: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Tegan: Then why did you invite me?

Sara: I specifically said "Don't come with me" and you said "fuck you, Sara, I do what I want," and followed me here.

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Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you.

Tegan Quin

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In terms of like, instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.

Sara Quin

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Criminal: i've come to kidnap you

Tegan: i have to ask Sara first

Criminal: it's not a choi-

Tegan: she said no

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Sara: Do you ever just hate our parents sometimes?

Tegan: No! My mommy loves me!

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Emy: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Ted: That's ridiculous. Give me an example.

Chris: Spiders.

Rob: Wasps.

Lindsey: Terriers.

Tegan: Sara.

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Sara: Guess what number I'm thinking of

Tegan: 420?

Sara: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess and please take this seriously.

Emy: 69?

Sara: Yeah, it was 69.

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Tegan: Hey, what does idk, ily, ttyl mean? Lindsey keeps using these abbreviations

Sara: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

Tegan: Okay, thank you anyways!

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Sara: Don't wanna sound like a slut but I really need a hug right now.

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Sara: *screams*

Tegan: What was that?

Sara: I just thought about my anxieties and it’s like my mind hand touched a hot memory stove.

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Tegan: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, YOU THREW IT AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL.

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Tegan: Please? For me?

Sara: Don't do that.

Tegan: What?

Sara: You think every time you say, "Please? For me?" I'll do whatever you want. Well, not this time.

Tegan: Please? For me?

Sara: Okay.

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Stacy [mad at Sara]: I don't even want to look at you anymore.

Sara: Well what are you gonna do about it?

Stacy: *puts on heels*

Sara: No wait I'm so sorry please no

Stacy: *stands up*

Sara: *angerly runs to go get step stool*

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Emy: Guys, since this looks like the end, I just wanted you to know… you’re not really the two people I wanted to die with.

Sara: Ditto.

Tegan: Actually, I’d always planned on the two of us being buried together in a tomb.

Sara:

Tegan:

Sara:

Sara: If we make it through this, you and I are having a serious talk.

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Sara: Cuteness has no effect on me.

Tegan: You're petting a puppy.

Sara, continuing to pet it: Again-

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Stacy: Aw look at you, so tiny and sweet and precious.

Sara: I AM NOT SWEET. I AM DARK AND MYSTERIOUS AND DANGEROUS. FEAR ME!

Stacy: So cute...