thatboringspanishguy

[thatboringspanishguy]

favorite scene in naruto to date: rock lee stealing neji’s eyebrows post-mortem (to add to his own strength) under the guise of closing his eyes

[thatboringspanishguy]

[thatboringspanishguy]

what have I done…

[thatboringspanishguy]

y'all mind if i stop racism

[thatboringspanishguy]

[thatboringspanishguy]

i once saw someone say the extended universe of star wars is like world unbuilding and that’s honestly the only way i can describe it, because i have absolutely no fucking clue of what the fuck goes on outside of the movies, and i have TRIED to understand, but the more i try the less i understand, i just… what the fuck man

[thatboringspanishguy]

hey does anyone know the fastest way to clean up milk that’s covering every goddamn i nch of the  kitchen floor

[thatboringspanishguy]

i watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”

[thatboringspanishguy]

Vijay Singh with the most outrageous golf shot the masters has ever seen. Ever.

[thatboringspanishguy]

This is a very misleading headline about a solar eclipse

[thatboringspanishguy]

let me just cut to the chase. Sportacus has a Number 10 on his shirt, a small detail that most viewers will probably forget. However, it has stated that the Number Ten means something, but I’ll get to that later. Let’s start with the first episode of LazyTown. A brief summary of it is that Stephanie, the main character, moves into LazyTown to visit her uncle, Mayor Milford Meanswell. She meets other kids in the town, Trixie, Stingy, Pixel, and Ziggy, who’s personalities are identical to their name. Robbie Rotten is also there in his secret lair, keep note of this, He looks around the town to see weeds, an abandoned basketball court, and other very polluted things. He seems content about this, proclaiming he will keep LazyTown the laziest town on the world. Later on, Stephanie talks to her uncle about how none of the kids want to go outside to play. Her uncle then tells her that there was a man with a Number 9 on his shirt, who made kids active. Wait, 9? But Sportacus has Number 10 on his shirt! Was this careless mistake? Or something more different? Stephanie makes a letter to said person, and goes to the mailbox to send it. She finds a cork inside the tube and tries pulling it out. Robbie is then shown stopping in his tracks and is visibly distraught about this, meaning he knows what is going to happen when she sends that letter. She pulls the cork out and puts the tube like envelope into the pipe, and it soon gets launched into the sky, and is received by Sportacus. Sportacus jumps down to meet Stephanie, she asks him if he is Number 9 and he responds with that he is Number 10. Robbie than says “Another one?” Confirming the fact that there was a Number 9, and Robbie fought him aswell. Think about it, at the start of the episode Robbie already has his signature secret lair. However, he doesn’t use it for evil, he doesn’t terrorize the citizens of LazyTown, he likes the citizens how they are, lazy. So, why would he have this lair, unless he had to use it against Number 9? Then the question remains, where is Number 9? Did he leave? Did he accomplish his goal, move away and then Robbie made it lazy again? Or did Robbie Rotten beat Number 9? Think about it, why would he use the schemes he uses on Sportacus and friends if they didn’t prove successful against Number 9? So we got that Robbie Rotten beat Number 9 and made LazyTown lazy, but that also strikes up another question. Are there more numbers? Are Number 9 and Sportacus apart of a group that ride blimps and help make kids exercise and play outside? Now are you ready for the biggest stretch in this entire theory? Robbie Rotten was the first Sportacus-like member of this group. Why so? Well Robbie admits it himself. In a little known song called “We Are Number One.

[thatboringspanishguy]

Seals Are Actually Ocean Puppies.

[thatboringspanishguy]

Whenever I see people quoting/referencing/parodying My Immortal it’s always one of the same four or five lines. You know the ones.

The iconic opening paragraph, “Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair… (et cetera).”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT… BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”

“And Loopin was masticating to it!”

As great as those are, I’d like to throw a spotlight on what I think are some of the underappreciated parts of this classic work of fanfiction.

Ebony puts blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk.

Enoby is canonically a weeaboo and speaks to her friends in Fangirl Japanese.

Harry’s scar is now a pentagram instead of a lightning bolt, so either he found some sort of spell to alter the appearance of the scar or he actually took the time to carve a pentagram into his forehead.

There is an OC named either Tom Riddle or Tom Rid who works at a “punkgoff” store in Hogsmeade and has absolutely nothing to do with Voldemort, he just happens to have the exact same name.

Tara somehow got Fred and George mixed up with Crabbe and Goyle.

The reason Snape doesn’t like Harry in this fic is because Snape is Christian and Harry is a Satanist.

Marty McFly literally appears out of nowhere to help Enoby travel through “tim” with his “tim machine.”

Chapter 11 ends with Hagrid singing along to “a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.”

Voldemort inexplicably speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.

Voldemort wears high heels.

Draco has a flying black Mercedes-Benz and a black MCR broom.

Snape has a Dork Mark on his penis.

Speaking of penises, Draco is apparently “hung like a stallone.” I guess Tara is a Rambo fan?

The Hedwig/Voldemort sex scene, wherein Hedwig is a male human instead of a female owl, for some reason.

Dumbledore flies around on his broomstick while holding a loaf of rye bread. At least, that’s what I think Tara meant by “Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread.”

Oh yeah, and Dumbledore is an Avril Lavigne fanboy, because of course he is.

James Potter’s “goff” nickname is Samoro, because Tara erroneously believes this to be the masculine form of the name Samara.

Draco’s singing voice is described as “a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson.”

Tara’s brief feud with her editor Raven, as chronicled in the author’s notes, may or may not have had something to do with Raven borrowing Tara’s sweater and not giving it back. IDK, it’s unclear.

Voldemort smokes a “gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar.”

McGonagall has the best insults, like “horny simpletons” and “mediocre dunces” and probably some others I’m forgetting.

Dobby only appears once in the entire fic and literally all he does is watch Snape and Lupin have sex, and then run away crying.

Sirius is referred to as Harry’s dogfather, and not gonna lie, even if it was a typo I think that is a genuinely clever pun.

The Hogwarts janitor may or may not be Chuck Norris.

Tara accurately predicted how Harry would defeat Voldemort in Deathly Hallows. No, really. “nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111”

This line: “Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly.���

And this one: “‘Crosio!’ I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.”

“Azerbaijan”

“Hoes of Wax”

“Tom Bombodil”

“Cornelio Fuck”

“Professor Slutborn”

“Preacher McGongol”

“Lumpkin”

“TaEbory”

“The Bark Lord”

 “Vadermort”

[thatboringspanishguy]

HWY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TP START YOUR LETTERS THIS WAY……

[thatboringspanishguy]

sometimes i think about the fact that Dreamworks was working on the Prince of Egypt and Shrek at the same time and would apparently send people to work on Shrek instead of the Prince of Egypt as a form of punishment 

[thatboringspanishguy]

this is hte best one yet