tha-menace-rojas - Tumblr blog

[tha-menace-rojas]

You don’t understand how bad this hurts

[tha-menace-rojas]

[tha-menace-rojas]

[tha-menace-rojas]

[tha-menace-rojas]

[tha-menace-rojas]

See you in hell fucker.

I remember with my first step dad I got in trouble all the time. Forever grounded. Thinking of one of his punishments where I’d write repeatedly whatever I’m not going to do again or whatever. Every now and then I have nightmares that he’s going to come back in our lives. It’s wild that he had an aneurysm on Halloween. I cried when I heard he died. I was happy. I hope he’s enjoying his stay in hell.

[tha-menace-rojas]

Was told I act exactly like my step dad’s and unsurprisingly I’m not reacting well to this.

[tha-menace-rojas]

“I know I’m going to hell but I won’t be going alone.”

He screams next to me in the passenger seat as I accelerate the car going past the DO NOT ENTER signs. The edge of the cliff is neat and in vision. At last, this time he won’t run away. R pleads for me to stop the car and we can talk it over. There is no time for talking. Not anymore. The terrain causes my car to bounce erratically forward. The cliff looms dangerously close.

“Please stop the car! We’re both going to die!”

I turn to look at him one last time. “I know. Good bye cousin.”

[tha-menace-rojas]

He loves me, he loves me not

He loves me, he loves me not

One petal, two petal

Three petal four

Five petal six petal

Ten hundred more

It’s not just a game but an unhealthy obsession

[tha-menace-rojas]

I remember with my first step dad I got in trouble all the time. Forever grounded. Thinking of one of his punishments where I’d write repeatedly whatever I’m not going to do again or whatever. Every now and then I have nightmares that he’s going to come back in our lives. It’s wild that he had an aneurysm on Halloween. I cried when I heard he died. I was happy. I hope he’s enjoying his stay in hell.

[tha-menace-rojas]

I remember with my first step dad I got in trouble all the time. Forever grounded. Thinking of one of his punishments where I’d write repeatedly whatever I’m not going to do again or whatever. Every now and then I have nightmares that he’s going to come back in our lives. It’s wild that he had an aneurysm on Halloween. I cried when I heard he died. I was happy. I hope he’s enjoying his stay in hell.

[tha-menace-rojas]

"everytime I think about my childhood my head hurts"

wow maybe it's because you're fighting layers of dissociative amnesia that were put there for a reason and you're thinking about things you aren't supposed to know

(this is a self callout)

[tha-menace-rojas]

i have a memory disorder and i hold grudges

i cannot forgive but i will forget

[tha-menace-rojas]

You can say I’m being over dramatic. That I’m being being sensitive. Well this is how my body responds to statements like this and I have to regulate my body just from mere words but those words triggered my nervous system into fight or flight and I’m left to comfort myself because who the fuck else will? The more I understand self and the more words I have to describe the more I feel I’m able to regulate better.

[tha-menace-rojas]

How rude.

npd artist culture is drawing your design of a character but being too scared to post it anywhere because youre worried people will steal your unique ideas

.

[tha-menace-rojas]

That feeling when you're just chilling and suddenly that strong dissociation hits you like a freight train

–John

[tha-menace-rojas]

i allow myself one suicide joke a month because a well-placed “i’m going to kill myself” can be REALLY funny but like for real yall, if you’re suicidal or depressed in any capacity, or even if you aren’t, if you make suicide jokes constantly your brain will internalize it and you will actually want to kill yourself. which you don’t want to do. and if you stop making suicide jokes then you will feel better. same with any kind of self deprecation— stop doing it and you will start to feel better. i’ve been suicidal at several points in my life and i can guarantee you from personal experience that it fucking works. stop making kms jokes every day and your life will improve. and other people get uncomfortable when you make kms jokes constantly. be nicer to yourself