teenageengineernight-blog

[teenageengineernight-blog]

Need to check this really fast.

French Youtube Channels Rec 2025

Here are some French Youtube channels that were recommended by the lovely people that answered this post. I've tried to make some vague categories, based on the titles of the first videos I could find - don't quote me on any of that - I actually don't know the majority of these channels) (a special thanks to @myrmecomorphisme and @insertusernameici who listed quite a few and gave some extra descriptions, you can find their posts, in French : here and here ) @fillioxalyn was faster than me and made a great post in French with some recommendations : here Travel : - Bruno Maltor

Food/Cooking : - Whoogys

News/Politics/Sociology : - HugoDécrypte-Actus du jour, - HugoDécrypte - Grands formats ; - Clémovitch - Dave Sheik [history / geopolitics] - Grégoire Simpson [sociology] (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE)

History/ Archeology : - NotaBene (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - Bonelessarcheologie8221 [Prehistory and archaeology] - Histoires crépues [colonial history] - Histoire Appliquée - C'est une autre histoire (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - Les revues du monde

Linguistics : - Linguisticae

Entertainment : - Squeezie - theobabac

Lifestyle / Vlog / Make-up : - Lena situation - Gaelle Garcia Diaz - Marion Chameleon

Storytelling : - Thegreatreview (ENGLISH/FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - Babor Lelefan - Poisson Fécond

Science / Tech / Medicine / Biology : - GMilgram - Fantine et Hippocrate - Astronogeek - La Tronche en Biais - BaladeMentale - CedrikJurassik [Paleontology] - Faune cool [animals] - EGO [AI , computer science] (ENGLISH/FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - ici Amy Plant [computer science, hacking] - Fouloscopie

Culture / Movies / Dub / Music / Fantasy / SF : - Misterfox - Chronik Fiction - Durendal (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - LinksTheSun - LaSuitedeTrop - Notserious_s (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - SEB [Music industry] - misterjday - Ratelrock [reviews of horror films/franchises] - Nexus VI [SF] - Alt 236 - Occulture [occultism/fantasy] - Calmos

Litterature/Book review : - jeannot se livre - Qu'est ce qu'on lit ?

Video Games : - Joueur du Grenier, - Pseudoless1 [recent games /game design] (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - Ache [criticism, feminism and trans-identity in video games] (FRENCH SUB AVAILABLE) - Feldup

[teenageengineernight-blog]

Thinking about JB and Jude lately…

JB, who was Jude’s first friend. JB, who carried Jude to the college hospital when he witnessed him having an episode in their dorm.

JB, who shouted and made a scene in that same hospital until a doctor finally saw Jude - and that doctor was Andy, the only physician Jude ever allowed to care for him for the rest of life.

JB, who helped Jude move into the apartment he shared with Willem on Lispenard St. JB, who brought along his friend Richard to help that day. Richard, who later sold Jude his beautiful apartment on Green Street that Jude loved so much. Richard, who secretly looked after him more than Jude ever imagined, who at one point saved his life, and at another point reminded him his birthday was worth celebrating, when Jude himself had forgotten and his world was bleak.

JB, who envied his life, his looks, his career, his relationship (even his limp!). JB, who saw him as competition, rather than someone to pity. JB, who thought he was beautiful, who thought killing something small and adorable was worth it if it meant looking like Jude.

JB, who brought him to parties, who showered him with laughter and provocations.

JB, who asked too many questions and wanted all the answers but got none of them. JB, who then asked Harold to back off from asking all the questions and wanting all the answers as well.

JB, who captured his life in galleries, on canvas, on film. The good and the bad.

JB, who’s art invaded and celebrated and decorated. JB, who’s art froze Willem in time for him.

JB, who was Jude’s last friend. JB, who Jude resented, who Jude hated, who Jude never forgave, who Jude wanted dead.

JB, who found him at last, who put away his suits, who handed out his letters.

JB, who outlived his friends, who was left alone, with his pictures, and his paintings, and his pain.

[teenageengineernight-blog]

I don't think it was unrealistic for him to learn English that way... I mean, he was still getting the inmersion, and he just learned how to speak it, not how to write it or read it. There are lots of study that explains how learning a language this way is easier than sitting down with a textbook.

Honestly, Jean being so good at English is a fucking miracle.

Wdym he learned two languages in just a few years while suffering physical and psychological abuse on an insane training schedule that left him severely sleep deprived?? And, presumably, he learned his third language using his second language, because French was forbidden.

Between that, and starting university at sixteen? Jean-Yves Moreau is a genius, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

[teenageengineernight-blog]

Just finished reading TGR, and I need some time to digest it. It was so good, and have so many up and down, but I have to admit I put too many faith in my brain to relate certain events with TSC. Now I need to find the time to reread ths two parts from the start, and hope for the third to come at least by the end of this year.

[teenageengineernight-blog]

How reading Anna Karenina gaves me a Linguistic Existential Crisis Part. I

Since "We Have To Talk About Kevin" is a difficult read and I’d probably finish that book by the end of the year, I thought YouTube could help me gather information for my next read, and that’s when the worst thing ever happened. Aaron Taylor Johnson as Count Vronsky was brought to my FYP, and Keira Knightley infested my FYP with the most well-fitting edits of Young and Beautiful, Sad Girl, Million Dollar Man and Born to Die. I am a simple woman, and I was going through other people status on Instagram and I though that beautiful hand scene in Chloe Lukasiak’s status was everything I needed to start watching the movie. Joe Wright made an absolutely beautiful and engaging movie, that closed my 2024, and since I happened to have the book on my bookshelf, I decided I’d give it a try to Tolstói, another mistake I made.

4% into the book, I knew Anna Karenina was an absolutely beautiful written masterpiece who makes me realized how much I’ve abandoned my mother tongue. I’ve been raised all my life with Spanish as my first language, everything I used to read was in the language of my colonizers, and suddenly I fell in love with ChanBaek, and needed more quality fanfics (PWP, actually) and ended up losing the grasp of reality because at the old age of 23, I suddenly noticed I’ve been colonized a second time when I couldn’t grasp the meaning of the sentences in Spanish, and I have to open an eBook English edition to actually understand what was being said. I’m just 4% into the book, and I realized I can speak Spanish, but I am not able to understand it anymore. I felt disheartened, because on my journey of trying to perfectionate my English I lost my roots.

I couldn’t believe what was happening to me, because how the fuck could you lose your mother tongue when you speak it every day? And here comes the problem: I don’t like to talk, better yet, I don’t like to speak on a daily basis. I could be one of those girls who could pulled out a selective mutism phase, because I have a lot of things to speak about but at the same time I’m not interested to say it all. So I would rather not speak.

And my flawless vocabulary was ruined thanks to the Pandemic, because I was at home all the time, and my vocabulary was reduced to the most B2 level. I can communicate in Spanish but my C1/C2 Vocab was lost in the battle and replaced by slang thanks to TikTok, but not the cool slang, if not the worst kind, which is terrible. I can’t fucking read on my own language because I can’t grasp meaning, words are string together and formed sentences that are not coherent to my brain. EVEN WORST, I have an advance Spanish Vocabulary because I used to read National Geographic Magazines because I love them, and watch their documentaries because they were relaxing, and read very centric books written by Spanish Speaking Writers because they were cheaper than English speaking writers, but Pandemic happened, and they stopped selling the physical copies and I wasn’t very good at the internet downloading's thing for a while. And the class that could have helped my case, was just one day a week and because it was online, I would listen to my professor spoke while reading a fanfiction on the side. Now, I’m far behind on my native language situation because I made English my whole world.

The music I listen is in English, the reality shows I watch are in English, my thoughts are in English and I read the The New Yorker and listen to my Documentaries in English. English is so ingrained on my brain that I can’t comprehend my own grammar. Much worse than that, I need to study French in English because I can’t comprehend Grammar terms or explanation in Spanish, at least that it’s a very specific case. Reading Anna Karenina made me want to switch major to a focus on Spanish, and now, I decided 2025 would be the year this whole bullshit stop.

[teenageengineernight-blog]

“The dead appear to us in dreams because that's the only way they can make us see them; what we see is only a projection, beamed from a great distance, light shining at us from a dead star...” The Secret History by Donna Tartt

At this point, I just want to marry rich and study English Literature without worrying about a side work or how I would pay the next semester-

[teenageengineernight-blog]

This is too beautiful to not share.

[teenageengineernight-blog]

"Nathaniel was different; he always would be. He wasn't a Raven, but he was, same as Jean. He was Jean's misplaced forever partner, an unfulfilled promise Jean had stopped believing in years ago."

"Nathaniel was his broken promise; Neil's life was none of his business."

"He honestly had not expected Nathaniel to survive the consequences of that ferocious defiance. If not for Jean's own weakness, maybe Riko really would have kill him that night. Holding Nathaniel down while Riko slowly waterboarded him meant he couldn't cover his ears against the noises Nathaniel made..."

The Sunshine Court by Nora Sakavic.

Jean's thought about Nathaniel hurted me so much in this book, like... I need the second book in my hand by yesterday. How can this hurt this much???? Everytime Jean said something related to Nathaniel and how he was promised to him, it breaks my heart a little more. All those years thinking who four would be just for Neil to come by, and left in less than one month... I have mixed feelings, I need to digest this book...

[teenageengineernight-blog]

That hurts even more.

Riko and Kevin are the sons of Exy, Jean Moreau is son of no one

[teenageengineernight-blog]

I love Andrew so much, but Wei Wuxian is my beloved. I can't just betrayed him like that.

Character, book, and author names under the cut

Wei Wuxian- Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Harrowhark Nonagesimus- The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

Andrew Minyard- All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

[teenageengineernight-blog]

This was actually really beautiful to read.

you will always be in your mother’s house, no matter the time that has passed between now and when you first left it. you find that your arms take precedence to all the rest of you, for she never stopped needing to be held. she comes to you in the night like a child begging to crawl into your bed: your mother, your daughter, your burden, your burden, your burden, your fault. you can’t remember the last time you saw her smile. your tongue is the only muscle that works harder than your heart, you need it to break her down just as she does you, to level the playing field before inevitably letting her win again. she’s screaming I CAN’T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW as she slams the door in your face and you’re screaming back YOU NEVER COULD, YOU NEVER COULD as you throw it open again. you both draw lines and then cross them. you’re both afraid of your rage. you wonder how much of her resides inside you, how many pieces you can pull out of yourself if you just keep pushing at them like loose teeth. you call her on the side of the road and she tells you i can’t deal with this before hanging up the phone. she calls you from her 300k house and you leave your second job to drive her to rehab. you clean her house, pack her things, let the air out of her goddamn tires & manage to avoid looking at her like she’s crazy; five hours of labor and a termination letter just for her to pick a fight over a joint as you’re finally backing out of the driveway. she’s slamming her hands against the window, ripping at the door handle, screaming that you’re trying to force her to go, saying IT WAS MY IDEA, IT WAS MY IDEA, LET ME OUT so now you’re both getting out and you can hear your roommate say get your fucking shit out of my goddamn car then as you walk to your own. you scream and you cry and you slam your fists against the steering wheel, the ceiling, the window, again and again and again and again until you’re tired of feeling like your mother, until there’s nothing left in you to feel at all. so now it’s 5am and you’re watching in silence as your roommate tosses your mom’s belongings into the driveway. your heart is the facilitator of forgiveness, it’s what she’s going to play on when you think you’re finally going to stop picking up the phone. you think my mother has made mistakes, but so has god. she crawls into the passenger seat with tears in her eyes and asks you to help her carry her things back inside, asks you to drive her to go pick up her boyfriend, or at least just buy him a tank of gas. you pretend the rest of your body is insignificant, immovable, completely stationary and absolutely incapable of walking away. you let rigor mortis set in.

anatomy of the eldest daughter, Joan of Envy

[teenageengineernight-blog]

They are just... French's.

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

[teenageengineernight-blog]

I'm literally trying my best to not throw up in this last episode of 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through us... because they're hurting me so much. I wanna cry and I just keeping nervous smiles because all the thoughts I'm having right now. And I just asking God for a nice ending. I'm trying my best to not hurt myself with all their feelings, but can I get out clean and unscathed by Wang's raw emotions?

[teenageengineernight-blog]

when you want to go home, but home doesn't exist yet

[teenageengineernight-blog]

I just love this chain of thoughts.

it's absolutely outrageous to me that humans can't easily reattach body parts. most of the time when someone "loses" a finger (for example) that finger is not actually lost! it is briefly separated from the body but it's usually still THERE in the same room! you should be able to pick it up and pop it back on like a mr. potato head accessory. there should be a time limit--if you reconnect the vacationing body part in under say 15 minutes then that's a freebie, no harm done. i am livid over this state of affairs. i am starting a petition

[teenageengineernight-blog]

“The wound can have (should only have) just one proper name. I recognize that I love — you — by this: you leave in me a wound I do not want to replace.”

— Jacques Derrida (trans. Alan Bass), The Postcard: from Socrates to Freud and Beyond

[teenageengineernight-blog]

I often see people talk about red flags in relationships but no one really talks about the red flags in friendships. Let’s put an end to that shit too.