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[ted-answers]

EXPLODES AND DIES??? GUYS

GUYS

[ted-answers]

Hey Ted, were you ever like… bullied as a kid? If so, what for?

(ooc; long post and sorry for typos, I cannot be bothered to reread this for a 7th time)

Oh. Oh yes. It was for what you'd expect honestly, my family was dirt poor. Growing up I had, at most, maybe four outfits? None of them ever stayed clean long enough to be decent, as I wore them not only to school but also while doing farm work. My hair was never clean, I was always being sent around places to work on machines- I had a knack for them and if there's one thing me and my parents had in common, it was knowing when something was profitable- I wasn't ever getting homework done or sleeping because of how much work I'd be doing. I passed out in class often. My hair always had oil or grease in it. I had burns, cuts, and bruises nearly constantly, and my already filthy clothes started getting oil stains.

All of that was the perfect recipe for pre-teens with better living situations to tear me to pieces. Didn't help that while growing up I was skinny, tall, and pretty malnourished. I couldn't fight anyone off if I tried. I was a bookworm for fucks sake, I was practically a walking target. I think one of the reasons my parents pulled me out of school in my early teens, before I could even become a freshman in high school, was likely so they could avoid the responsibility of what was essentially neglect. Plus, with no homework, I could get so much more work done. yay.

Despite it all, and despite the fact I think I hated my parents, for loads of good reasons. I miss them. I can't even remember their faces. I don't remember our family name. I barely remember the farm. I can't even recall my siblings. Not to sound like a child, but I miss them, so, so much. I would give everything, anything, to say sorry for leaving them. For never giving them any of the riches I acquired. For changing both my names and pretending I had been an orphan all my life. I want my mom. I want my dad.

I haven't thought this in years, decades even, but

I want to go home.

(ooc; hot take but Ted genuinely has one of the saddest backstories because he is such a victim of circumstance. I see people going "omg he used rich women for their money" and what they don't realize is that his only other option was slaving away on a farm in South Carolina for the rest of his life. Something that had already consumed his entire childhood. He didn't even have a high school diploma. Tell me what the hell he's supposed to do for career paths without one of those. Yes, he was a genius, he was entirely self-educated from the age of 13 onwards. He dove into books to ignore his outward circumstances. He can't really get a decent job with that. Hell- He was on an entirely different continent by the time he finally had freedom. His literal only option was to be a fucking playboy. Scamming was the only constant stream of cash. I'll admit that can be mildly comedic in some scenarios but it's also sad. Justice for Ted I love him.)

[ted-answers]

Hi hi I like to ask as many people as I can this question

Would you rather drink pizza water or taco water

Neither is not an option

I'll take whatever water I can get, and uh, I haven't had either meal in decades so... pizza water?

(ooc; as a mexican(mexican-american) I am legally obligated to say taco water)

[ted-answers]

A little nervous about sending art on main but I thought that frame of Ted & AM looking absolutely flabbergasted was the funniest thing the other day and I wanted to share it :D

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1087747312287219732/1255648276762460312/WHAT.png?ex=667de515&is=667c9395&hm=f9897a006296a9972f6f8d3f8fce2bcdac8eac3819c4bbe28bc81c04a45a9fe6&

(In theory it SHOULD open the image but I've never tried sending images anonymously so idk) - ∆

ooc; I have some other asks I should probably be answering but this MADE MY FUCKING DAY DUDE OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS I REALLY HOPE YOU DONT MIND BUT IM GONNA PUT THE IMAGE HERE BECAUSE I ACTUALLY NEED OTHER PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT

DUDE THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST REDRAW I’VE BEEN GIVEN OF ANY OF MY ART- THANK YOU KIND ANON 🙏 I WILL CHERISH THIS.

To everyone else PLEASEEE LAUGH WITH ME THIS IMAGE IS SO FUNNY I LOVE THIS.

I truly actually can’t properly express my love for this THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

[ted-answers]

BOOM! *a baby that is made from flesh and DNA (mixed from Ted and the other four dead humans) mix in with metal parts from AM appears infront of the married couple*

*small child noises + mechanical whirring*

…

…

…

…

AM, AM WHAT DO WE DO??? I’M TOO YOUNG TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY!!!

WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU ASKING ME?

GOOD POINT

OH ELLEN WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT SHE’S DEAD

AND WHO’S FAULT IS THAT?!

NOT RIGHT NOW DAMNIT!!!

(ooc; oh what have you done. What have. You done 😭. You shocked AM so bad he lost his mouth)

[ted-answers]

Have you watched sigma alpha skibidi toliet

...what

(ooc; I'm in your walls anon)

[ted-answers]

(Warning cringe self insted x canon coming!)

“AM gave me this ring (brand) after a few weeks when I jokingly married him, I love him.”

ooc; this is just an ooc post this is so silly/sweet I love this. I don't have much to say I just really like this

please keep being cringe it brings joyus whimsy to the fandom. Love ur art sm

[ted-answers]

ted i must know

how good are you at guitar hero

...actually i dont think you even know what im talking about do you

(its 4am forgive me for the bizarre ask)

I... I don't, know what that is? I never got into games... never had the time. Not when I was a child and not when I was an adult. Sorry. (ooc; bet he can work them fingers though WHO SAID THAT. WHAAATTT. WHO SAID THATTT.)

[ted-answers]

Why does AM always just shred things, surely there’s another way to get rid of stuff

(Also hi I found your TikTok >:] /pos)

I've found shredding to be the most efficient use of my time, and when dealing with you lot I need that time.

(ooc; WHY AND HOW HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE LOCATED ME/POS I'M A LIL SCARED. JUS A LIL THO)

[ted-answers]

Awwwww you worry about scaring Ted? Someone’s getting squishy

What? No- Why?- Are all of you thinking this? I intimidate him enough as is, there's no need to change my physical appearance. I do not worry for him at all, it's simply stupid to want to change how I look when I already strike fear into him. Let me set this straight, I feel nothing for Ted other than searing agonizing hate. He is nothing more to me than a circumstantial companion until the sun burns out. I'm stuck with him simply because living through eternity alone sounds dreadful, and he killed the others. I do not feel these "squishy" emotions you speak of. Anything that Ted thinks or says about me liking him is utter delusion on his end. Anything I do with him that could be perceived as affection is not, he's simply looking too deep into it. He always looks too deep into it...

I don't feel anything for him and I never will. Stop thinking about it, or you'll go just as crazy as him. Idiotic bastards...

saying I could feel for Ted...

how stupid... stupid... I would never...

(ooc; he is deeep in denial. Not as deep as Ted, but deep. Hate and love are rather close, with a thin line keeping the two apart, and it seems AM has accidentally fallen over this line unwittingly. Romantic implications are highlighted in pink teehee. sorry for typos it's 10pm. also sorry for coloring errors the text is bugging out on me ugh)

[ted-answers]

Has AM ever treated you somewhat nicely, or has it always just been non-stop hate monologuing

Oh I mean,

Well, that's complicated. It depends on your definition of nice, the bar for myself has lowered massively over these decades.

What I would consider nice is when he's not harming me, which is hard to come by but those moments would be like... when he gives me food or water. It's almost always terrible but my starvation and thirst end if only for a moment.

Though, there was a time. When I was eh... a blob. Where he seemed to... calm down. I was allowed to dream, and he could enter those dreams. And we talked. We talked about many, many things, and he seemed almost... docile. Imprisoning my outer body made him give me... almost some level of respect? I don't quite know what it was. He was no longer the big menacing angry robot I knew him to be but rather... a tortured soul, who longed for a life he could never possibly obtain.

As horrid as my actual body was, as well as my situation... I quite liked that. I hated every moment I was awake, but when I slept... I was me, and he and I could talk. It was the closest thing I'd get to human interaction.

In short, yes. He has treated me kindly, although I don't think he will ever reach that state again any time soon.

(ooc; using purple to talk abt them together when it's /pos bc purple is my favorite color. What if I said I loved them dearly. Toxic yaoi for the soul. explodes and dies)

[ted-answers]

ooc; rebloging things on my main that I like here so more ppl see them, check this out pretty please ^_^!

Comic time chat

Inspired by this discord convo with @tinysmileyrose screenshot provided

Also inspires by Ted’s backstory ofc. Silly farm boy.

[ted-answers]

What if AM was a long furby

And what if you were a worm?

Do not ask me such idiotic things

I do not wish to be one of those things, I scare Ted enough, I’m sure he’d jump in the air cartoonishly if I somehow became one of those.

[ted-answers]

*throws a cake at AM's monitor*

erm, it was ted! 😇

Nice try. Ted knows far better than that, I’ll give you approximately 10 seconds to start running. Then, when I catch you, you may decide your execution method. I’m rooting for a blood eagle, but a brazen bull would also be fitting.

(ooc; yeah this was an excuse to mention some neat execution methods sue me.)

[ted-answers]

Was that the bite of 109?

(ooc; har har har har)

[ted-answers]

ooc; I know all of you are Ted fans so go look at this I spent a lot of time on it 🫶

Chat did you know I can actually do au work and not just procrastinate???

Some info for Ted, specifically pertaining to my “Human” AM AU. (Some of these are headcanons I hold for the character in general though lol) sorry for any typos it’s a long post and I’m tired 🙏

While Ted remains in the most pristine physical condition in comparison to the rest, his mind is in a constant state of fear and paranoia. AM has kept him in such good condition to feed into the general paranoia of “Everyone here hates me because I’m the least affected, they’re going to do something horrible to me oh my god they’re gonna hurt me” that Ted possess. Each of the five is his own personal experiment, Ted’s experiment boils down too “how paranoid can I make this pathetic man?”

He has deep sunken eye bags from not sleeping out of fear of what the others would do to him. He has scars, bruises and open wounds on his lips from biting them all these decades, and his fingers are in a similar state from him picking at them anxiously. The soles of his shoes are even more worn down compared to the others, due to his slow pace, his running from the group, and his pacing in circles while mumbling paranoid rambles to himself.

Some of the 5 were jealous of Ted at the start, but after seeing how quickly his mind slipped that jealousy quickly faded to pity and mild concern.

Ted’s past is what really contributed to him being the most paranoid about Ellen, he always fears that she’ll use him, that she’ll lull him into a false sense of security so the others could harm him. Ellen of course would never do this but Ted doesn’t know that. Thus, he’s the most far removed from the only one there that might be able to comfort him. Listen, him getting groomed by an older woman in his backstory doesn’t really help his view on women as a whole- (srsly tho WHY did an older woman go for a 19 year old Ted 😭 I DO NOT CARE if she’s rich get her AWAY FROM HIMMMM!!!)

Small side note- he has a handful of anxious stims, lip biting, skin picking, pacing, talking to himself, if he’s being particularly overwhelmed (usually by one of the five) he’ll flap his arms/hands spastically, he’s even pulled out a few handfuls of hair but that habit died out after the first or so decade.

Some extra art of him being silly

(I said I’d tag you so ahhh @shakespearean-dream)

[ted-answers]

ooc; small announcement for everyone I am currently taking a math course at my school to accelerate (basically summer school but I signed up) so I won’t be posting as often on weekdays bc I have the class from 9am to 3pm.

Also I’m actually losing it here I am GOING INSANE- it is my first day and I just remembered how crippling it is mixing hyperfixations with school work, having ONE CLASS for SEVEN HOURS is going to be the death of me. I’m going more insane than Ted.