tealbeats

[tealbeats]

YOU CAN NOW FIND ME @essencefluxed

I will still be writing HS Ezreal over there. I'm trying to start fresh, so this blog is archived now.

[tealbeats]

YOU CAN NOW FIND ME @essencefluxed

I will still be writing HS Ezreal over there. I'm trying to start fresh, so this blog is archived now.

[tealbeats]

[tealbeats]

Me sitting here trying to think of a new ezreal url and all 5 of the ones I had in mind were taken

[tealbeats]

MISC SENTENCE STARTERS WITH A DASH OF ANGST

❝ i can't even say he deceived me. i knew exactly what he was and i jumped in anyway. ❞

❝ i think eventually i got so used to the chaos and the pain and the toxicity i began to look for it. ❞

❝ i never got a chance to discover myself. i never had that privilege. ❞

❝ you can tell me anything. i mean i can't promise i'm good at keeping secrets, but i'm a hell of a listener. ❞

❝ no one wants to yearn anymore. ❞

❝ i'm doing some of my best work here and you don't even have the decency to roll your eyes at me. honestly it's hurtful. ❞

❝ i know what you're thinking. ❞

❝ if i ask for your help are you gonna make a big deal out of it? ❞

❝ can we just be normal for like two seconds for once. ❞

❝ i would say i don't know what's wrong with you but i actually do and that's the problem. ❞

❝ against my better judgement i trust you and i think that says a lot about the state of the world right now. ❞

❝ i don't actually care but i'm bored so i'm here. ❞

❝ last time i listened to you we almost died. ❞

❝ i would've come sooner. i would've been here if you'd only asked. ❞

❝ i don't want to hurt anymore. ❞

❝ you don't have to hurt anymore. you can let go of those burdens. ❞

❝ it'd be a lot easier if i actually cared as little as i pretend to. ❞

❝ i do need you. i wouldn't be here if i didn't. ❞

❝ sometimes you don't know it's wrong until it's too late. sometimes you don't know you're being hurt until you realize you're in pieces. ❞

❝ pretending you don't need people doesn't make you strong it just makes you a jackass. ❞

❝ you're gonna be okay. eventually. but first you gotta not be okay for a while. it's gotta suck so you can actually recognize when you're alright again. ❞

❝ you shouldn't have said that. ❞

❝ sometimes i wish they had done something worse. then it'd justify how hard it's been to get over it. ❞

❝ i wish you actually understood me. ❞

[tealbeats]

PROMPTS FOR ORDINARY THINGS THAT FEEL INTIMATE *  inspired by this post. these don't have to be romantic - you can specify romantic or not when you send them. in essence, these are simply intimate, affectionate moments to share with someone you love and care about. adjust as necessary, send 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt

[ lean ] sender rests their head on receiver's shoulder

[ shop ] sender and receiver go to the grocery store together

[ brush ] sender brushes receiver's hair

[ tie ] sender helps receiver with their tie, either by putting it on or adjusting it

[ necklace ] sender helps receiver with the clasp of their necklace from behind

[ zip up ] sender assists receiver with zipping up a piece of clothing

[ unzip ] sender assists receiver with unzipping a piece of clothing

[ shoelaces ] sender bends down to tie receiver's shoelaces

[ swipe ] sender notices a smudge of something on receiver's face and gently wipes it off

[ braid ] sender braids receiver's hair

[ jacket ] sender takes their jacket off and hangs it on receiver's shoulders

[ puddle ] sender hurries to stop receiver from stepping into a puddle

[ drinks ] sender brings receiver a drink from a bar/their kitchen

[ feed ] sender feeds receiver's pet/s for them

[ cook ] sender and receiver cook a meal together

[ feed ] sender allows receiver to try a bite of their dish, holding their fork out for receiver to taste

[ teach ] sender, an expert at something, takes time to teach receiver how it works and how they can get better at it, too

[ readjust ] sender comes up behind receiver and readjusts their stance (maybe holding a gun, holding a golf club, aiming for something, etc.) to help them

[ makeup ] sender fixes receiver's makeup for them

[ bathroom ] sender and receiver go to a public restroom together and have a normal conversation in between the stalls

[ aloud ] sender reads aloud to receiver

[ refill ] sender refills receiver's glass without asking

[ massage ] sender notices receiver looks tense, steps up behind them, and massages their shoulders

[ listen ] sender listens to receiver explain something they're passionate about

[ silence ] sender and receiver comfortably exist in silence together, both of them working or reading or focusing on something different

[ food ] sender brings food over to receiver's house

[ hum ] sender hums along to a song receiver is singing

[ see ] sender sees something that reminds them of receiver and texts them a picture of it

[ admire ] sender stares at receiver across a room, silently admiring and appreciating them from afar

[ win ] sender lets receiver beat them in a game

[ puzzle ] sender helps receiver solve/put together a puzzle

[ carry ] after receiver falls asleep in an inconvenient place, sender carries them to a bed and tucks them in

[ kneel ] sender finds receiver sick in the bathroom ("tossing their cookies"), and kneels beside them, holding their hair back and cleaning their face

[ clean ] sender helps bathe receiver

[ wash ] sender helps receiver wash their hair

[ patch ] sender carefully patches one of receiver's wounds

[tealbeats]

Nightmares

"I just want to sleep."

"I hate waking up like this."

"Did I wake you up?"

"You were screaming in your sleep."

"Wake up! It's me!"

"What were you dreaming of?"

"How many nights are you going to lose to this?"

"I know it's scary, but you've got to sleep."

"You're clearly exhausted."

"I can lay with you, if it'll help?"

"Do you want a cuddle?"

"Hey, hey, take a deep breath. You're awake."

"It's just a nightmare."

"You have to get over this."

"Won't you admit that this is a problem now?"

"I just want you to get some rest."

"I hate seeing you so tired."

"You deserve to sleep peacefully."

"I feel so tired... all the time..."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry, I'm just frustrated."

"No sleep turns me into an asshole."

"Stop snapping at me, I'm trying to help."

"Did you dream about me?"

"Why don't you trust me with this?"

"Don't - don't shut down. Please."

"You have to talk about it if you want it to stop."

"I keep sceaming, but I can't move. I can't stop."

"I just want to get - get away from them -"

"Can't - breathe -"

"Take a breath. It's over."

[tealbeats]

I think for now while I decide whether to remake or not, I’m going to clean out my inbox and my drafts here and just clean slate it there for now. If there are threads you want to keep with me please let me know and I will keep them!

[tealbeats]

I don’t want to remake Ezreal a third time but I feel like I might have to if I want to feel comfortable writing on here again. I don’t know.

[tealbeats]

@witchcraftandburialdirt: “Evening, Mr. Lightfeather."

There was a groan that leaves the smaller; he didn't even need to look behind him; that voice much too familiar. belonging to the man who freaked him out maybe a little too much. A huff leaves his nostrils, eyes closing momentarily before opening slowly.

"What do you want NOW, Abel??"

[tealbeats]

Pokes his little head out--

[tealbeats]

i miss being here

[tealbeats]

my best friend sent me RP last night bc I finally got Explorer Ezreal in My Shop so he gave me enough for that and for SSG Ezreal who’s out bc of worlds

I JUST NEED PRESTIGE PSY OPS BACK IN THE MYTHIC SHOP…I HAVE THE ESSENCE…HE’S THE LAST ONE I NEED AND THEN I HAVE THEM ALL ( until he gets a new skin )

[tealbeats]

lmao

[tealbeats]

idk if ppl I follow write form honkai but I made Sunday over at @featheredreign

[tealbeats]

— Aure Vives, ‘An extraordinary amount of joules’

[tealbeats]

I hate posting this but I need some help so I’ll put it under a readmore. Basically it’s emergency commission stuff. I also have Heartsteel Merch i made for sale—which will all be seen under the readmore.

Expenses have been rough this month and I’m about $150 behind on rent. I DO get paid next week but if I take more money from that pay I’ll have less money for groceries. Which isn’t great since I am a single income home of two people.

I can offer either art commissions ( I can do chibis or busts for $25 ) OR I have left overs of the heartsteel merch I made for artist alley at a convention last month.

If you don’t want anything and want to help, my PayPal is: candied.feathers@hotmail.ca

Charms - 4x4 in size, double sided rainbow acrylic - $15 each

Lanyards - $10

Acrylic card holder ( I only have one left ) - $15

Shipping ( non tracked ) to Canada and US is $7. With tracking is $10.