tastefulcandiedroses

[tastefulcandiedroses]

[tastefulcandiedroses]

[tastefulcandiedroses]

TW: ED, dni if in recovery!

Nothing is quite as relieving while simultaneously inducing such distrust as doing a weekly way in to find that a new meal plan you were trying caused almost 10 lb of gain, so you do a water fast with laxatives, and then weigh in the next day finding out that you actually lost 2 lb from the prior weekly weigh in 🤦

I mean, THANK HELL I didn't gain 10lb.

But for my body to have been holding 12lb worth of water weight and literal shit 💀 wtf boss, how about no? 😭

New relapse LW tho! If the scale can be trusted... 👀🧐

[tastefulcandiedroses]

it’s never ending 🥲

[tastefulcandiedroses]

Ana hot take:

Apples aren't a safe for for me🤷

Any food I might come in contact with I have categorized in a written list. Apples are on my "safe treat" list. But not a safe food.

[tastefulcandiedroses]

Okay it isn't like this for me all the time, but when it is it is one of the strangest feelings I can describe. What I see this photo I don't think "oh yeah it feels like this because of the aesthetic/ because I'm happy I'm not eating."

No

This picture perfectly describes the weird high I'll get. I know it's not an actual high or a euphoric high.

It's as though my brain has checked out and I feel like I just took a low dose of a damn psychoactive drug or mushrooms dude. Everything is brighter and I do not feel like I am mentally present. It will feel like I am a spectator to my own actions.

Driving when I feel like this or riding my bike is one of the strangest things I have experienced sober dead ass ✋

How it feels going to bed on an empty stomach:

(Pic from 📌)

[tastefulcandiedroses]

TW: ED, @nor3xia

Block don't report!

I don't support or promote ED's!

!I support and encourage recovery!

Z

Z

Z

Question!

This is @na specific FYI.

I find a lot of people with @na say that they save money because they eat less and don't need to spend so much in groceries n what not.

Has anyone else had the opposite happen? Because I have.

What I mean is,

I spend so much more on the things I use to keep me from eating vs what I probably would if I was ED free and just bought groceries.

Examples:

- Vaping: which I started to give me something to keep my mouth busy and that's 30-40$ a week.

- Energy drinks: appetite suppression and fullness reason. Say I only buy 4 one week, that's 10-14$ a week. And some weeks I buy 6! That's 15-21$!

- diet soda: I prefer individual bottles over cans because I think cans taste different and I also don't like buying the big bottles because they tend to go flat faster than I can finish them. Say I only buy 2 1 serving bottles, that's 5$. Other weeks I'll buy 4, that's 10$.

- SF sweetener: 6$ a box that lasts 1.5-2 weeks (not bad).

- SF juice: 5$ roughly a bottle.

- gum: originally I bought packs at the store which would last a week. That's roughly 5$ a week. (Now I buy it in bulk packs on Amazon for 9$ and that lasts me 2-3 weeks so not bad)

- Tea: I like variety bc I love tea and get sick of the same 3-4 flavors so I try to buy a new box or 2 every other week. 9$.

Low end: 59-64$ weekly

High end: 78-82$ weekly

That's WITHOUT the low cal food I buy for when I do put nutrition in my body.

Which includes:

- Protein shakes: 30$ every two week/ 30$ a month (depends on what my food schedule is like that month)

- almond milk: 4$ every week.

- SF ice pops: 8$ every other week or so (consumption varies)

- SF ketchup: 6$ every two weeks.

- eggs: I only eat the whites so it's a waste but I hate box egg whites bc they taste weird to me and I would rather just use one egg white from a cracked egg and know it's one egg white versus weighing it out or measuring it out using other dishes on top of what I'm already using to know how much I'm pouring. 4.5$ a week (I'm not the only one that eats them so they go through fast).

- lettuce bunch: 3$ weekly

- baby greens tub: 5$ every other week or 5$ every week (purchase and consumption varies).

- low cal bread: 6-14$ every other week on average (consumption and brand/ type varies)

- Tofu block: 5$ a week/ 2 weeks

- frozen veggies: 4.5$ a week/ 2 weeks. Sometimes, 9$ a week for variety.

- SO ON SO FORTH!!!! (Bc I have no reason to give my full grocery list for the sake of my post)

Adding all this up is:

low end: (59-64$) +35.75$~ = 94.75-99.75$ weekly

High end: (78-82$) +60$~ = 138-143$ weekly

And all of that is higher with the rest of my list, but you get the gist.

I've done regular grocery shops in the past and have a habit of keeping receipts so I looked back on those and on average my maximum grocery trip was 80$ a week. And that's still w/ my vegetarian diet. Because I could buy more stuff in bulk or it's just generally cheaper bc it's not facing the current "healthier/ specialty = pricier". If that makes sense?

Summed up:

For the people who spend less because of their ED, congrats.

But this mf is an expensive ass bitch for me 😂💀

Guess my @na is a gold-digging hoe😭 /J

[tastefulcandiedroses]

[tastefulcandiedroses]

✨

[tastefulcandiedroses]

Fydoror Dostoevsky // Clarice Lispector

[tastefulcandiedroses]

One of my favorite things is watching Hannibal with my lawyer husband. He becomes progressively more outraged. Every time. No matter how many times we rewatch it. Like he'll never forgive Will for not suing everyone. Suing the FBI is this man's Roman Empire.

You wouldn't believe the sheer force of his his disappointment when Freddie didn't bite it - "She's worse! (than Hannibal) How is she alive?! (to Will on screen) C'mon buddy,just this once,no one is going to miss her! She's trespassing,breaking and entering,we can spin that!" - so if you're ever wondering what a lawyer considers evil,it's apparently tabloid reporters.

[tastefulcandiedroses]

People shouldn’t be shamed for what they eat

Wanna eat meat? That’s okay

Wanna not eat meat? That’s okay

Wanna not eat anything the comes from animals at all? That’s okay

People shouldn’t be ashamed of what they eat, unless it’s people. Don’t eat people.

[tastefulcandiedroses]

Okay I finished rewatching Hannibal finally and to this day, however many years it’s been since 2015 I still think them not making out sloppy style like was the single smartest decision anyone made on that show because they literally had them do the thing apex predators do as the animal equivalent of “kissing” its mate instead!! That element is so deeply baller to me on so many levels I can’t even

[tastefulcandiedroses]

My brain hums with scraps of poetry and madness.

Virginia Woolf

[tastefulcandiedroses]

laying on someone's chest and feeling their heartbeat is one of my favorite types of intimacy

[tastefulcandiedroses]

No. They're better than normal

They’re so normal

[tastefulcandiedroses]

Hannibal just told Will he’s not like other girls