taintedthings - Tumblr blog

[taintedthings]

Me when I marched for band, LARPed, and did volunteer work heavy lifting and pushing/pulling all day before my ddd got really bad and doctors in all their infinite wisdom go "well... losing weight could help!"

I love it when I tell doctors that I'm a LARPer and an endurance hiker and one of the most frustrating things about chronic pain is how hard it is to go to the park and do my favorite physical activites, and they'll look at me like a dog that's just been shown a card trick and ask, "Have you tried exercising?"

[taintedthings]

Thinking about what a tragedy it was that when I was 14 and seeking treatment for pcos the doctor's first line of action was to send me to the local "lipid clinic" that put me on a diet so stringent I was eating 300-500 cals a day and taking in almost no protien

I lost a total of 25 pounds over the course of about two years. They accused me of lying, saying I must have been sneaking food, because if i hadn't I should have been down much more than I was. They reprimanded me and told me to stick closer to the diet. I felt like i was dying

[taintedthings]

I can't stop thinking about a tiktok I saw this morning about how growing up fat forces you to be a nice person as a survival mechanism.

What they said in the tiktok resonated with me so much and I want to expand on it.

When you're a fat kid and a fat teenager, people are so cruel to you. One of the only ways to protect yourself against that is to be relentlessly nice to people. If you make your whole personality about being nice and friendly, then they are less likely to be cruel to you. At least sometimes people feel bad about being mean to the nice fat kid. Their friends might stand up for you and say something like, "Hey don't pick on her, she's nice."

But you have to earn that mercy by being a living doormat. You have to be unwaveringly agreeable. Never disagree. Never stand up for yourself. Never share an unpopular opinion. Laugh and smile when someone says something mean to you. Share everything that you have to the point of keeping nothing for yourself. Do all this and people will remember how nice, generous, and agreeable you are, and maybe they won't call you a whale right to your face.

[taintedthings]

Sure, taking E won't change your voice.

But taking T doesn't remove tits, either.

Taking E won't reverse facial hair.

But taking T won't make me taller.

To act like E doesn't cause changes to a body during puberty is misogyny. To act like it's "easy" for trans men to transition is misogyny.

I've been on T for over a year, though some of that time it was low dose. I've been on a higher dose for 8 months. If T was the miracle some people describe it as, I'd have a full beard and huge muscles and I'd be passing 100% of the time.

I don't pass at ALL.

Stop claiming trans men have an easy time passing. You're invalidating and erasing our experiences.

[taintedthings]

white trans ppl from liberal suburbia in blue states will go on and on about how scary it is to be a trans person right now but the second they encounter a trans person from a red state they’ll be like “ummmmm why would you live in such an uncivilized place lmao maybe you shouldn’t have voted for republicans like if you don’t like how conservative it is then just leave” as if these states aren’t populated by black and brown people who face intense voter suppression and poor people who can’t just up and leave. not to mention the fact that all those articles y’all are sharing about the state of trans safety? those are in our states and we will be the ones who go down first. so instead of laughing at us dumb hicks from your liberal safe haven, consider instead shutting the fuck up and actually doing something to help us. because they’re coming for you next.

[taintedthings]

"degenerative disc disease is a normal part of aging" I'm literally 22

[taintedthings]

Fun fact, weight loss is not “the cure” for PCOS

It has not been and it never will be. Weight gain is absolutely a symptom, and a lot of people are uncomfortable with that, but being thin does not magically fix your hormone levels or vanish the cysts from your internal organs.

If a doctor ever recommends caloric restriction as a “treatment”, walk the fuck away.

[taintedthings]

Couple years ago I tried to get treatment for my PCOS symptoms and the first thing my doctor did after I got a diagnosis was send me to the local lipid clinic to get me to lose weight despite my weight not being of any concern to me and me NOT having high/low cholesterol or a family history of blood fat conditions. The doctors at the lipid clinic proceeded to put me on dangerous caloric deficit- which I adhered to- and which did nothing for me but make me gain more weight and be sicker

It took me over a year to start getting actual treatment for my PCOS itself, and when I did I was basically told birth control pills were my only option. Doctors will do everything BUT treat your illnesses when you're visibly fat I swear to god

I hate the fact that PCOS is only talked about in terms of weight gain and acne and shit. I get it, y'all hate fat, hairy, bumpy folks but those are literally the least of my issue with my condition. There are days I can barely walk from the joint inflammation. The pelvic cramps are debilitating. Depression and anxiety wreak havoc on my life but my doctor's only worry about making sure I lose weight and shave my beard.

[taintedthings]

hm going from “you’re not allowed to be angry bc you’re a girl” to “you’re not allowed to be angry because you’re a man and it might scare people” is not a W

[taintedthings]

I have to get this off my chest: Femininity is not liberating for everyone. Especially not for people who were forced into femininity. Masculinity is not inherently bad. For a lot of people masculinity is far more comforting and liberating than femininity will ever be. Do the work to separate your trauma with cis men and toxic masculinity, and stop hurting transmasc people with your bs bio/gender essentialist rhetoric. Trans men and trans masc people are not your enemies, masculinity is not your enemy, and femininity is not always your friend. As long as it’s not hurting people let trans men be happy to be masculine. To deny trans men their masculinity is transphobic. You aren’t less transphobic towards trans men just because you say how pretty transfems are every fifteen seconds for brownie points, bc this demonization of masculinity hurts them too. Trans joy includes affirming masculinity.

[taintedthings]

one of the things that fucks me up about body standards for men is how we’re expected to be musclular as an apology for being fat.

like if you’re fat the ideal is still that you have visible muscles, and if you don’t have visible muscles you can at least perform Feats Of Strength to show that you have them. And that expectation that fat men have muscles is just so steeped in “well I failed at being thin but at least this is a way I can make up for having a cringe fail body”. Fat men have a cringe fail body because Everyone Knows that following an exercise plan will make you lose fat, so if you don’t lose fat you’ve already failed in one way – better not fail completely!

and you have to make up for having a cringe fail body because fat men are derided and hated. You have to show that you’re at least Trying because that makes you slightly less bad than people who “aren’t trying” (i.e. who are fat and not muscular).