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Kim's itchy trigger finger
So, Kim reaches for his gun often. Very often. sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons- opening the bear fridge, the experiment in the church, a note from Klaasje.
This one is just from being anxious going into the communist reading group. Kim doesn't want to be the kind of cop who draws his gun constantly, who shoots instinctively, but he is, or at the very least it's very difficult for him to stop himself from becoming one.
Perhaps the most horrifying example is with The Pigs-
Even if he KNOWS the gun isn't loaded, even if he knows it's safe, the instinctual muscle twitch could have ended in an unnecessary death. Kim is very well aware of that fact, and it's horrifying to him. @shufflerock-jam has this really good post about it, where they wonder how many of Kim's kills were unnecessary. "Something about a pair of traumatized cops, one fighting against shooting himself and one fighting against shooting everyone else".
At the end of The Pigs exchange, if Harry says she tried to kill him, Kim begins to interject, but stops himself and agree this situation could've been very bad. Then Empathy chimes in- 'He's trying not to think about how bad it could have been had the gun been loaded.' Which is the heart of the issue, right? that leads us to Eyes-
This is such a fascinating background to give Kim as a character- not just losing his partner, which gives him the trauma and survivor's guilt that lead to this unhealthy relationship with his gun and frankly with death in general, but losing his Eyes, and having that not interfere with his shooting. Kim doesn't need to see well to hit, he doesn't need to think. It's all in his hands, a reflex. A reflex that nearly took an innocent life. That might have taken one before.
His awareness of looming danger, to him and to his partner, is fueling his version of Hand/Eye Coordination to have him constantly on edge, his whole body is like a loaded spring, always prepared to make sure it doesn't happen again. Then it does-
In his nightmare scenario, leaning over his partner's bleeding body, Kim only needs one word to shoot without a second's hesitation. He's never not ready to take that shot. He doesn't need his Eyes.
Harry is distraught to discover he's killed before- his body remembers it. He wants a drink to soften the feeling. Kim however is impressed with how little he's killed- especially coming from the bloody murder unit. He wants to be 'one of the good ones' (Kim's adamant belief in the possibility of a Good Cop is a whole other can of worms) the kind of cop he would think highly of. Kim is disgusted by cops who kill like it's a game. Espirit gives us a vision of a cop exactly like that, who kills so often it doesn't feel like anything anymore. In a way that is completely mechanical- no thought, no feelings, just a thing your body does. Not unlike the way Kim shoots- like a spring unloaded. Kim has 6 confirmed kills before the tribunal, double the amount Harry has. He doesn't react the same way though-
It's doesn't bother Kim that he has killed, even if he declines to elaborate on it, and he seems to frown upon (or worry about) Harry's destructive coping mechanism. If they're unable to save Ruby, he says "Control your emotions. We did our job. This won't be the worst thing that happens on this case… believe me. You can't let this break you." When you wake up after the tribunal, he doesn't dwell on the lost lives on either side. Harry's skills call him a killer, a bloodstained killer, but when he tells Kim he also killed he simply nods. He's smoking though. I'm not saying that Kim is heartless or careless, he's rattled by nearly blowing The Pigs' head off, very sorry for the lives lost during the case, and clearly hunted by death, having been surrounded by it for his entire life. But I do think death is a part of the job for him- not just possible civilian causalities, but his own potential death. He speaks plainly about how he might die in the lie of duty, and he narrowly avoided it more than once, with others dying in his place..
He walked into the line of fire with harry expecting for of them to die, and his quick fingers on the trigger made it so they lived another day. Even if more ghost joined the list that hunts him in his sleep, he is alive. He goes on. He can't afford to fix this habit, as much as he wants to.
So it's so horrible and so touching that when Dros asks "What have you done?" Kim says-
It's a tragedy, really. A wartime orphan who wanted to be a revolutionary pilot and played with Franconigerian knights, who grew up to be a cop, a job that slowly shapes his body into a killing machine. And when you ask what he does, what you both do, he says keep people alive.
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#disco Elysium meta#de#de analysis#de meta#this is so long and i'm sure it's been done a dozen times before but i'm new here and i can't stop thinking about it#goddamn this game#🏺#juha.txt
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Comic i made in class
#disability#invisible illness#invisible disability#mini comic#my art#artists on tumblr#traditional art#disabled#wheelchair#abelism#meme#disabilties#comic art#comics#🏺🖌#ambulatory wheelchair user#mobility aid
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Lmao.
#get it its a joke kryo podia = κρύα πόδια = cold feet ha#Al's ramblings#house md#and no his accent isn't good#but its ok i forgive him#Γρηγόριος Σπίτις 🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷📿🏺🏺🧿🧿
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new haircuttt :-)
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out of context cdverse memes part 7
#pjo#pjo fandom#riordanverse#pjoverse#pjo hoo toa#pjo memes#pjo au#pjo au memes#pjo oc#pjo oc memes#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#☆ : notes—#but why would the gods attack their children 🤔?#lore mayhaps?#☆ : organization tags—#☆ : cdverse 🏺#☆ : cdverse memes/shitposts 🏺
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I'm currently sick as a dog, throwing up, the whole nine yards 😵💫 Do you have any brain worms regarding obedient being sick and price looking after her swimming around in that big wrinkly brain if yours? Only if you want to, of course! I just love price and mild angst, and you write them both soooo goood!!! Honestly I've loved every single thing about the keeper/kept AU with my whole heart!! ILY!!!
(P.S. Can I be 🏺 anon, please?)
Oooh what a great choice, 🏺! I hope you feel better soon! Sending you all the affection you’re comfortable receiving!
You woke feeling awful. Had a pounding headache, runny nose, sore throat. Your whole body ached even just laying there. When John tried to get you out of bed, you nearly started crying, so tired and icky-feeling. He caught on immediately though and offered to bring you breakfast in bed. You agreed, but even when he brought you plate of eggs, you threw it up almost immediately. Managed to get it all on the floor at least! Much easier to clean than the bed sheets.
John immediately calls off work to take care of you. You’d fuss about him getting sick but - well, he’s probably the one that got you sick, considering he’s the one leaving the house and going to foreign countries.
Still, you can’t find it in yourself to tease him about it where he frets over you the way he does. He tries to be subtle, but you’re piled up with pillows, warm packs, water, tissues, a puke bucket, and a laptop by the time he finally comes back to bed. He spends the day watching whatever you want, giving you cold medicine and cough drops, rubbing your back when you throw up. He takes your temperature religiously, thumb stroking the back of your hand or neck.
He even reads to you at one point - which knocks you right out into a much-needed nap.
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The Lord Poseidon 🦈🐙🦀🦞🦐🦑🐠🐟🐬🏛🏺
#poseidon#Lord Poseidon#god of the sea#greek god#olympian#ancient greece#ancient greek#earthshaker#trident#lady amphitrite#hestia hades demeter poseidon hera zeus#big 3#hippocampus#🦈🐙🦀🦞🦐🦑🐠🐟🐬🏛🏺#greek myths#greek mythology
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Diasterius warm up doodle ...
#🏺 lacunae#🌺🐂 rose of the labyrinth (diasterius)#Dia of censorship (hiding Asterius' panty shot)#Srry he gets bigger every time I draw him it's cuz I'm so sick 💔
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Apollo from Carthage
The main entrance doors of the Bardo national museum (المتحف الوطني بباردو ) in Le Bardo, Tunis, Tunisia, and a Roman statue of Apollo from Carthage, modern Tunisia, dating back to the 2nd century BCE. He's leaning onto a Delphic tripod.
Photo source: 🏺 🏺
#APOLLO 🌞#ARQUITECTURA 🏺#ANTIGÜEDADES 💎#Deep sigh. I want to be somewhere pretty and culturally rich. Like Tunis.#Clapping my hands because I learned that 'the God Apollo' in Arabic (at least in this region) is الاله أبولون and it's really pretty.#art#ancient art#ancient roman art#roman sculpture#mediterranean gods#roman gods#greek gods#apollo#tunisia
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when you're being mean to me this is who youre being mean to
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Kim Kitsuragi and the pale-
Kim has a unique relationship to the pale, I tried dissecting it and making sense of it. Reposting with more thoughts after some good conversations with @binomech.
Warning- it's insanely long.
1. After life, death
One of the first thing you can learn about Kim is that he would hurl himself in death's way to save you. From the very first moment, Kim is related to sacrifice and death, it follows him wherever he goes-
The slaughterhouse.
He lost his parents at two years old. He worked a year in Processing (here's good post about that by @renmorris and @spilledkaleidoscope). He lost his partner, Eyes. People have taken a bullet that was meant for his more than once. His survivor's guilt is insane. He's killed six people. He's afraid of killing recklessly, and has a deeply unhealthy relationship with his gun (made another embarrassingly long post about that).
Kim also hears pale 'ghosts' on the police radio all the time, talks about it like it's normal, and says he doesn't believe in ghosts.
If harry is with Noid during the Moralist dream quest (more on it later), Harry can even wonder if Kim himself is a ghost, prompting this beautiful exchange-
And he's not entirely wrong. When Harry gets shot, after Kim fulfills Espirit's promise and stands in death's way for him, you can ask as you fall into darkness what will happen to you-
It's the living who are ghosts. You can leave them behind and rest. Go into the wild pale yonder, along with everyone else Kim has ever cared about. Or at least you can try to.
When death is at the door, you have two options-
2. After death, life again
Kim might associate himself with death, but Harry associates him with life again and again- Death is darkness, Kim has a light bulb halo. Death is a sunset, Kim is a sunrise. Death is where you are when the game start, it's ready to take you, and then- a clarion call, the sound of a motor carriage, a detective arriving on the scene, and you open your eyes.
Of course Kim is no actual saint, no guardian angel, but it's really telling that even in harry's deification the symbols of Kim's holiness are worldly, almost mundane, the matters of every day life- a celling's fan lightbulb, the engine of a car..
Or the way @binomech said it when discussing Kim's portrait: this is the only thing keeping you from the full brunt of the world in your mind #but truly you are already in the world #and he is just a man #and that's just a car and that's just a ceiling fan
The game is very clear about Harry being a ceaseless agent of the world, but he's not the only one. Harry stands at death's door twice, and Kim is his way back to the world both times.
3. After the world, the pale
So what is Kim's relationship with the pale?
As casual as he might try to appear, Kim is clearly uncomfortable with the pale, afraid of it even. When Harry brings up the pale, he intervenes, genuinely worried for the fragile stability of his mind, trying to protect him-
It's no more terrifying than water or death or that we're stuck behind our eyes for all eternity?? Sounds pretty terrifying Kim...
I think the key is in the moralist vision quest, When Harry attempts to reach the Committee of Responsibility, and he hears the pale crosstalk coming through the radio, when suddenly-
"Pale is a shroud of memories and it doesn't really distinguish to whom those memories belong to. You could hear anything." You could hear anything, but you hear Kim. Soona even says that the odds of us hearing him, out of all the voices in the pale, are astronomically low.
We know the past has not been harmless to Kim, we know it's full of ghosts and cold winters, but that's not the thing that's eating at him-
Kim is afraid of forgetting. He's constantly writing, he thinks through his notebook, always recording, so he wouldn't lose anything. That's why the pale is so terrifying to him.
4. After the pale. the world again
The world is what it is. God is in his heaven. Everything is normal on Earth.
That leads me to the expeditions through the pale-
Volta do Mar is a skill unique to Kim, according to the stats of this pilot jackets, and it's a Physique skill.
It's driving me crazy to think how Kim wanted to be revolutionary pilot as a kid, and is walking around dressed like a pilot as an adult, to give himself the ability to navigate the pale. To return from the sea-
DISTANT ENEMY OF HIMSELF?? kim....
Seeing how Volta do Mar is strengthened by his jackets, and the items' descriptions point out that most of the people who used to wear this jacket are long gone (alongside what they represented) and considering that the only real advance in pale transit is the speed with which an aerostatic craft can pierce it, is seems fitting that returning from the 'sea' requires the kind of armor that ghosts wear- the ghost of who you wanted to be but never could, of a home that was never yours. Glory to them.
@binomech said it best in this conversation we had about Kim's skills: "your traitorous race. your traitorous job. your traitorous parents. your traitorous senses. distant enemy of yourself: seolite, communist, cripple, faggot. and you wear it as armor"
Kim is equipped for Volta do Mar, he armors himself for it every day, for the thing that makes it possible to return sane, and discover a new world-
This is one of the most touching Kim moments in the game to me- putting his hand in the rain, looking up to the sky, mouth open, welcoming the spring rain, even knowing it'll bring death and destruction with it. He is devoted to this world and the role he has to play in it, or at least the role he thinks he has to play-
But we know Kim has a bigger role to play, he's trying to do his part right there, getting Harry to stay-
His connection to Harry can keep him on this world once again- keeping the two of them together. Their real work is down here, him and Harry are Revachol's only hope. If they stick together they might be able to keep her on this earth.
UNITY AMONG THE RANKS IS PARAMOUNT.
I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT.
I LOVE YOU.
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium meta#kimharry#sort of#de meta#de analysis#going crazy going stupid. kim is so important guys.. if only he knew#🏺#juha.txt
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Stpd culture is "ohh so that's why I couldn't even make friends with other autistic people, it wasn't autism"
-🌿🍄🏺
.
#-🌿🍄🏺#stpd culture is#schizospec#cluster a safe#stpd#schizotypal#actually stpd#schizotypal pd#actually schizotypal
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Dice Time! 🎲
✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DICE ROLL #3 — A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD ⌝
based on this post!
word count: 1k
what the stars reveal: tamaharu, post-canon (manga), they’re both in college, tooth-rotting fluff, tamaki being dramatic as usual (affectionate), venting my college frustrations through a fictional character, idk if you can tell but i waxed a little poetic near the end 😳
— congratulations on inspiring my first tamaharu piece! :3
In concept, contracts weren’t difficult to understand. They were simply agreements between parties that created legal obligation for one thing or another. However, the difficulty came with all of their branching paths; implied, fixed price, unilateral — they all had slightly different approaches, small differences that needed to be kept in mind at all times. One misstep could lead to less-than-savory reviews at best and a complete logistic, even illegal, mess at worst.
So… what’s the answer to this damn question?
Haruhi tapped her pencil against the corner of her mouth, shifting the workbook in her lap ever-so-slightly. Maybe, if the page hit just the right angle, the paragraph of text would re-word itself into something comprehensible. Maybe.
After a few tries and meager results, she sighed in defeat. She’d known law school was going to be difficult, sure, but her poor high school self hadn’t known the half of it. Strict deadlines, bad professors, incomprehensible class structures — they were an entirely different experience for someone who went in thinking college was supposed to be… well… helpful.
She sighed. It was just the late hour getting to her, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. Not when this annoying question didn’t even have anything to do with the current—
“—Haruhi?”
She jumped. Hard. In what could only be described as sheer dumb luck, the flash of blond beside her ducked away just in time to avoid being head-slammed.
Shocked, Haruhi turned her body to peek over the edge of the sofa, settling her chin on the back cushion. Below her was a boyfriend-shaped face, looking back at her with just as much surprise. “Tamak—?”
“—Oh, thank god!” Soft tears began to well at the corners of his eyes, violet and earnest. In a movement faster than she could blink, he was tilting up and over to wrap his arms around her half-twisted form. It was nice — warm and inviting and rose-scented the way it always was — but for a worrying moment, she thought something was wrong. Then, he said: “I thought you’d become a zombie. Like in those scary apocalypse movies.”
Haruhi froze, then sighed. Deeply.
“There, there,” she said flatly, unfortunately unable to pat him on the back due to the workbook and pencil still hanging in her grasp. Then, before he could start rambling on about the logistics of how he would’ve “definitely taken care of her as a zombie by bringing fresh brains from the morgue back home instead of groceries,” she turned swiftly back to her work, letting the guise of study change the topic of conversation.
Sure enough, less than a moment later she felt Tamaki’s soft-conditioned hair brush against the side of her forehead. “What are you working on?”
His voice was softer, this time, tempered to a murmur above her ear, and she could smell the faint lilac of cologne carried on his breath.
“Oh, you know,” she shrugged. Gave the workbook a wave. “Just… this.”
Tamaki hmphed. As if on cue, soothing hands came to rest on her skin, pressing gently at the juncture between her shoulders and neck. She was always vague when stressed, and they both knew it.
“Wanna take a break, then?” he asked.
Instead, Haruhi leaned into the faint knead of his palms, eyes still trained on the page in front of her. “You’d make a good masseuse.”
“Haruhi,” he warned, “you know how I feel about you overworking yourself.” Then, somewhat proudly, “And my services are exclusive.”
Haruhi sighed for the umpteenth time that night. There wasn’t much she could do — she was too tired to deflect Tamaki’s stubbornness, and a break did sound nice. However, she also couldn’t avoid one looming fact: the homework was due tomorrow. Eventually, she made a compromise.
“Fine,” she said. “But only for five minu—”
The warmth behind her was already retreating, shooting around the length of the couch to plop down beside her with an enthusiastic “yes!”. Like an overly-attached dog, Tamaki’s face soon found itself bundled into the crook of her neck, pouting as she put the pencil down but refused to set the workbook aside. It only took one whining “Haruhi…” before she was groaning and setting the papers on the coffee table too.
With that, Tamaki was free to monopolize her space, humming contentedly as his arms shifted to curl around her torso.
“You’re incorrigible, you know,” she said, eyes crinkling with the beginnings of a smile.
“I know,” he mumbled.
“Happy now?”
A ruffle of hair against her chin as he nodded. “Mhm.”
For the first time in a while, Haruhi didn’t sigh. It always ended like this — Tamaki curling up against her like a personal heater, turning inward like she was all he ever needed. It made her wonder why, sometimes; why he cared so much, why he bothered, why exactly he saw what he saw in her. But it was difficult to hold onto those worries when he was holding onto her even tighter. When he was going out of his way to leave her spare umbrellas on rainy days, to buy her favorite giant tuna at the store, to bring home facemasks with cute little raccoons he said looked “just like her.” It was like he catalogued every little thing about her, kept them pressed in the notebook of his mind like flowers he never let wilt.
When she sniffled, he shifted to look at her. His eyes bore into her like violets, and when his mouth opened he breathed lilac, words landing rose-tinted against her skin: “You okay?”
In response, she ducked her embarrassingly watery eyes against the sunflower strands of his hair. “Yeah…” Then, she nosed her way to his skin, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Something familiar and warm bloomed in her chest. It unfurled in petals of sunshine and rushing water, and it occurred to her that she must be the luckiest person in the world to feel it.
“…I just love you.”
She didn’t have to see Tamaki’s face to know something was blossoming within him too, curling into a smile on his lips.
“I love you too.”
© written by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.
#⌞ ✎ sunder.writes ⌝#⌞ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⭑ ⋆⁺₊⋆ constellation: ouran-honors-student 🏺 ⌝#fanfic#ohshc#ouran high school host club#tamaharu#ohshc fanfic#tamaki suoh#haruhi fujioka#tamaki x haruhi#tamaki ohshc#ohshc tamaki#ohshc haruhi#haruhi ohshc
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lol what kind of idiot makes a fake camp schedule its me im the idiot
anyways
🏕 Camp Half-Blood Daily Schedule in the CDVerse 🗓
Opening: As a camp kid, I've always been bothered by the way canon/fanon portrays the camp schedule. THREE FREE CHOICE OPTIONS? For a camp with a maximum capacity of 400 kids? Yeah no thanks, Uncle Rick. And the fandom... I don't know if any of you ever been to summer camp because 'free choice' does not mean run around camp grounds with no organization 😭.
With that said, heres the rough schedule I threw together (based off of my own camp experience) + some notes!
Note: when an activity says its led by a cabin, i just mean the head counselor not the whole cabin lol
7:30 - Breakfast
8:30 - Cabin Clean Up - +technical free time if they clean up quickly
9:00 - Cabin Rotation #1 - See below
10:00 - Training # 1 - Half of Camp does Training #2 - See below
11: 00 - Free Choice - Chosen at breakfast. See below
12:00 - Lunch
1:00 - Free Time - Inside the Cabin area. Visiting other cabins is allowed as per counselors discretion
2:00 - Cabin Rotation #2 - See below
3:00 - Training #2 - Half of Camp does Training #1 - See below
4:00 - Free Choice - Chosen at lunch. See below
5:00 - Dinner
6:30 - Capture the Flag Prep - making teams, forming strategies
7:00 - Capture the Flag
9:00 - Bonfire - Sing-along led by the Apollo cabin
10:00 - Bed
11:30 - Lights Out
Cabin Rotations - 1st
1. Archery - Apollo Cabin
2. Sparring - Ares Cabin
3. Climbing - canonically with the satyrs, i was thinking led by Hermes
4. Arts & Crafts - Athena Cabin
5. Sports - Nike Cabin - takes place in the volleyball court, but other sports are played. occasionally plays beachside volleyball
6. Pegasi Riding - Demeter Cabin
Cabin Rotations - 2nd
1. Axe Throwing - Ares Cabin
2. Waterfront - Poseidon Cabin - either swimming or boating depending on the day
3. Dueling Strategy & Etiquette - Athena Cabin
4. Dream Interpretation - Hypnos Cabin - im so proud of coming up with this lmao
5. Forge - Hephaestus Cabin
6. Weekly Excursion - Argus - 3 cabins get to go to downtown New York, supervised by Argus and some of the older Satyrs and Nymphs
Training - 1st - Takes place in the Arena - Activity depends on the day, usually rotates
1. Monster Assault Techniques - Hermes Cabin
2. Swordfighting - Ares
3. Personal Weapons Training - Ares & Athena
Training - 2nd - Takes place in the Southern Woods
1. Real Life Practice - Argus & Chiron - i am aware a real summer camp would not let them do this, but they need to get experience somehow
Free Choice - 1st
1. See 2nd Cabin Rotations
2. Camper Lounge - Argus - they can just chill in the Big House for an hour lol
Free Choice - 2nd
1. See 1st Cabin Rotations
2. Camper Lounge - Argus
Other Notes:
- the whole 'visiting other cabins' thing is genuinely mainly so the vibe of the camp maintains that more chill, familial vibe we get in the book while still having a schedule and pretending its an actual summer camp lol
- there is a buddy system! the camp i went to had one so the rules for chbs are gonna be mostly the same: at least one buddy, doesn't have to be from your cabin but cant be the opposite gender, buddies are mainly to the washrooms & refilling waterbottles
- activities might be added & removed, this was a really quick lore dump tbh
#finnaly CDVerse posting after forever lolll#im ngl i was kinda out of it for a while with my rat dying and stuff but i had a lot of fun making this so more will be coming!!#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#camp halfblood#camp half blood#pjo headcanon#☆ : organization tags—#☆ : cdverse 🏺#☆ : cdverse infodump / rambling 🏺#☆ : camp half blood info 🏺
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MEENAH: Is t)(at a tramp stamp????
(this is posted on my Daily KurCro acc on twitter !! Thought I'd share here)
#cain doodles#homestuck#cronus ampora#kurcro#matching tattoos with your partners kinda makes me crazy#just my thoughts tho#kurloz has a little ampora sign on the right side of his hip#by ampora i mean 🏺this thing#giggl#also i refuse to call Twitter “x” cause fuck elon
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