#♧Worms

[shmowder]

if not loveable then why love shaped?

[musical-murder]

Had a thought about my Keepers and if they were iterators

So, goofy fellas :)

[jesterfairy]

.♠︎.💜 𝐀 𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 💚.♠︎.

Chapter 4: 🃏 Joker's POV

___. ♡ ✦ ♧━━━♢ ✦ ♠️ ✦ ♢━━━♧ ✦ ♡. ___

Chapter Word Count: 700

Fic Summary: Alina Vale dreams of escaping her dead-end life as a diner waitress, finding solace in painting Gotham’s haunting shadows. But when a routine trip to the bank turns into a living nightmare, she finds herself face-to-face with the Joker—a man as captivating as he is terrifying.

As his twisted games unravel her defenses, Alina is forced to confront the pull he has over her, a collision of fear and desire she can’t control. Trapped in his world of chaos and power, survival means facing not only him but the darker parts of herself he’s brought to life.

A story of obsession, control, and the intoxicating allure of letting go.

Genres: Dark romance, Gothic romance, Stalker romance

Pairings: TDK Joker x Female OC

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: non-con, extremely dubious consent, violence, psychological manipulation, kidnapping, stalking, slow-burn, toxic relationships, trauma bonding, childhood trauma, graphic sexual content, stockholm syndrome, dead dove do not eat

A/N: I thought it would be fun to switch things up and do a brief chapter from Joker's point of view!

There will be more like this sprinkled throughout the story, but only when the moment’s right. Enjoy! 🖤🃏

___. ♡ ✦ ♧━━━♢ ✦ ♠️ ✦ ♢━━━♧ ✦ ♡. ___

Chapter 4: Joker's POV

I’ve seen it all before.

Fear. Panic. Desperation. Those little worms scrambling over one another, clawing at the last scraps of their lives like they mean something. That’s how it goes, isn’t it? They all want to survive. They’ll sell their souls to stay alive for just one more heartbeat.

But then there’s her.

She wasn’t supposed to stand out. Just another pretty face in a sea of nobodies. Quiet. Soft. The type you’d expect to cry and beg like all the others. But oh, she didn’t, did she? No, no, no... she stayed in that chair. She stared at me, all wide-eyed and shaking, but still... still. And she chose. She chose to die for them.

That quiet defiance.

It wasn’t loud, wasn’t desperate or grand. It was simple. She was done with the suffering, done with the fear, and she just... stopped playing. A little flicker of something else beneath all that fear—something different. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel a spark from it.

Why? Why didn’t she pick someone else like they all do? They always pick someone else. But not her. She chose to stay. Now that, that’s a rare thing. I can’t have that slipping through my fingers. No. That kind of spark—you don’t just walk away from that.

She fascinates me.

I’ve been watching her since then, of course. Following her little footsteps through the muck of Gotham, watching her routine—predictable, mundane. Pitiful job, crappy apartment... it’s all so pathetic, and yet she trudges through it, like she’s carrying some invisible weight. Like she’s stitched herself together after being torn apart and hasn’t decided whether it’s worth holding on. A broken thing trying to look whole... now, that’s worth watching.

She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s already mine.

I’ve been inside her place, touched her things, left little... traces. It’s thrilling, watching her catch on. The way her heart pounds when she realizes something’s off, when she feels my presence, even though I’m not there. The delicious confusion mixed with that icy stab of fear... it’s addictive.

I wonder if she knows how pretty she looks when she’s scared.

The way her lips tremble, her breath quickens, but she keeps it together. She tries so hard to keep it together. That’s the part I like best. That little flame inside her that says, “I won’t break. Not yet.”

Oh, but she will. And I’ll be the one to do it. I’ll snap her in half and put the pieces back together exactly how I want them. I’ll carve her into something new—something no one else can touch.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve replayed it—the way she looked up at me in that chair, wide-eyed and trembling. Like prey caught in the jaws of a predator but too stubborn to cry.

I want to see it again—those pretty eyes all wide, wet, and locked on me, begging without words. They betray everything, spilling secrets without even meaning to. I can almost feel the weight of it, how she'll finally understand there’s no escape. That’s the moment. That’s when she’ll truly shine.

It’s not just her fear I want. Not exactly. It’s the way her fear sharpens everything about her, makes her burn brighter—makes her alive.

The funny thing is, I don’t even know if I want to hurt her. Not really. Scare her? Oh, definitely. Twist her up until she doesn’t know which way is up or down. I want to keep her in one piece... I want to see her break. It’s maddening, really—this tug-of-war she doesn’t even know she’s started.

But there’s something... more to this one. Something raw, something alive that I've never seen before. That little defiance, buried under layers of quiet.

And I want it. All of it.

I wonder how long she can last before she realizes she’s already mine.

I’ve given her space to breathe, let her think she’s still in control. But control’s the biggest joke of all.

Watching from afar has its limits, though. Sooner or later, you’ve got to take the toy out of the box if you really want to play.

And me? I'm done waiting.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts on how I captured his voice. I really tried to get inside his head for this one.

Honestly, who wouldn’t want to be the subject of that terrifyingly intense obsession? A girl can dream, right? 😅💜💚

Please let me know if you'd like me to add you to the tag list 🖤

Taglist: 💚

@furisodespirit

Navigation Links:

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[bonbonshideout]

Stan Headcanons

♤ He is bisexual; since the day Wendy 'transitioned', he realized he liked guys.

♡ The dude writes songs but is top embarrassed to do anything about them. He wants to share them with people, but ever since the hybrid song, he rather just keep them to himself.

◇ He's a sucker for sad love songs. He likes how much emotion is in them, and he could listen to them for days. He has a private playlist full of them. He has a variety of songs he listens to, but sad love songs are 1000% his guilty pleasure.

♧ He has lost his inhaler multiple times. Either it slipped out his pocket or something. They aren't cheap, and it has cost Sharon a good amount to get him a new one, every time.

☆ He loves his friends and sees them as an extension of his family. Kyle is his best friend, his twin brother, Kenny is his lovable and stupid little brother, and Cartman is the annoying sibling he would wish he never had.

♤ Stan loves Wendy. He would usually be the one to get her a gift for their anniversary if they managed to even reach a year between their on and offs. Usually, anything he thinks she would love or would even make things for her.

♡ Stan is the second shortest person of his friend group. He doesn't mind it much unless someone sticks it in his face constantly.

◇ Stan is a gamer nerd. He knows a shit ton about any game that has come out. How to olay it, what/who is the best to play as, etc. He has the combo moves and would gladly help someone if they are struggling.

♧ Dude loves the ocean, he wants to be a marine biologist when he grows older. His favorite aquatic critter? Sea bunnies.

☆ Sparky is his lovable companion. He likes to take Sparky out for walks and sometimes helps tries to find a partner for his gay dog, usually failing in the end. He has bought a rainbow bandana that he has attached to Sparky's collar.

♤ Stan drinks due to 1. having asthma, and not being able to smoke due to it; 2. it's the one thing he has in supply at home, due to his dad being an alcoholic too. At some point, he was drinking in public while still underage. He did get Randy in trouble with the police, but he was let go a day later.

♡ Stan writes down his emotions, either writes or types them. He likes to keep them written down in case he reads back on it and it gives him a bit of inspiration for his songs. Most of his songs are probably about how he hates his dad's weed farm.

◇ His parents are actually divorced, they coparent and live together for Stan and Shelly's sake. Though Stan has found out, he doesn't want to really open that can of worms just yet.

♧ He has dreams of living back in his old home. Dreamt of burning down the farm and just returning to his normal life. He loves his dad, but he has honestly lost respect for him once the weed industry has taken over him and his life.

☆ Stan has always tried his best in school. Though, do to Cartman dragging him into the most unreal experiences, he hasn't had the best school record.

[mystris-bug-academy]

Mona and Poly!!

Mona- Pansexual, She/Her, Morpho Butterfly, Gardening Club leader

Poly (pronounced as "Paulie") - She/Her, aroace, Black Swallowtail, occult club leader

Facts about Mona

♡~ Typical "nice girl but actually a bully" but is actually super, almost unnerving nice to the point of it being scary

◇~ Her favorite flower is tulips!

♤~ Doesnt understand sarcasm

☆~ An absolute FIEND for sugar, do not let her around a bag of sugar at all costs (she will eated it all)

♡~don't ask to look in her spotify (the music does NOT match the personality)

◇~The type of person to kick their feet during ANYTHING

♤~ literal :3

☆~ Wholeheartedly believes in Santa Claus

Facts about Poly

☆~ Typical "goth girl" but is pretty chill when you get to know her

♡~ Cares for her sister a lot (just doesn't show it..)

♧~ "Has multiple ghosts in her closet" or so she says..

◇~ Gamer. That's all I'm gonna say.

♧~ "How many supernatural creatures can you name?" "100." "How many woman do you know personally?" "...Next question."

♡~Doesnt have that much friends, she doesn't like talking to new people that much..

☆~ #1 grudge keeper, much to Mona's dismay

◇~literal :/

(Ps- I'm not doing grades for these two for now bc I don't wanna)

What others think about Mona

Fae- "...Nice to me.."

Ceni- "She's...Nice?? That's the only way I can describe her. She's fun to mess with though >:3"

"Lady"- "Shes tolerable, much more tolerable than her sister...And has a good sense of fashion too"

Honey- "She was in the cooking club before becoming the leader of the gardening club! Sigh...She was so nice to me >///<"

Orchid- "Shes like a sister to me! She even asks me to do her hair sometimes"

Latro- "She let's me take photos of her flowers, saved my butt a few times when I was late for photography projects..."

Poly- "What do you want me to say? She's my sister and I can't stand her sometimes.."

What others think about Poly

Fae- "...cool.."

Ceni- "Totally a hardcore dudette!! She's so cool! She once exorcized the ghosts out of my metalworking room after...An incident..."

"Lady"- "Absolutely dreadful fashion sense..I wish she'd stop rejecting my fashion advice...But on the other hand I don't think she enjoys the color red.."

Honey- "Her and her sister are like total opposites! Poly... Kinda scares me sometimes.."

Orchid- "Her club room is right next to mine! I swear, sometimes I hear weird chanting from her and her– Witchlings or whatever!"

Latro- "She's scary...I'm always scared to take photos in her club room.. I mean, I could take a picture of a ghost!"

Mona- "She's the best worst sister in the world! <3"

Morpho Butterfly facts!!

♤~Only males are blue..? (GUYS I JUST REALIZED THIS I DIDNT KNOW THIS WHEN I MADE MONA)

♡~ Most blue morphos live in the tropical forests of Latin America from Mexico to Colombia.

☆~Blue Morpho caterpillars eat compounds that are poisonous to humans. This is advantageous to the species because predators are less likely to feed on them (dw guys it's only dangerous to humans if you eat them..Not sure why you would tho)

◇~Morpho butterflies often feed and decaying fruit unlike other butterflies that feed on nectar

♤~Morpho butterflies are diunral (active in daytime..I had to look up the meaning of that)

Black Swallowtail facts!!

♧~ Black Swallowtails scientific name is Papilo Polyxenes (The genus name "Papilio" is the Latin word for butterfly. The specific epithet "polyxenes" is from Polyxena, the daughter of Priamos, King of Troy)

♡~Another name for the Black Swallowtail is Parsnip Swallowtail, as well as American Swallowtail, Parsley Worm, Celery Worm, Carrots Worm, and Easter Black Swallowtail

☆~Black Swallowtail are usually found in open areas like fields, parks, marshes, deserts, and they prefer tropical or temperate habitats

◇~Black Swallowtails fly faster than other swallowtails

♤~When a male spots a potential mate, he engages in a behavior known as “fluttering,” where he flies in rapid motions around the female to gain her attention.

Hope you like these two goobers!!

[conkreetmonkey]

Actually wait, I want a story about a lovecraftian alien entity miles ahead of humans who, like in most stories featuring them, starts out with a complete disregard for our comparatively insect-like lives, but eventually learns that humans are harmless and starts doing the equivalent of releasing spiders outside instead of squishing them.

Like yeah, the vast majority of humans have little to no regard for the life of a worm, but there are those who'll remove them from the sidewalk after rain anyway. There are entomologists who devote their lives to the study of bugs. There are exterminators who'll relocate the beehive rather than poisoning it. Surely such kindnesses would too exist in the realm of gods, no? Where are the weird kid cosmic entities who accidentally step on a human and sob over it and hold a funeral. Where are the old ladies who put out food and water for the stray civilizations, and little tree-dangling bird feeders guarded against space squirrels with alien pie tins? Yeah, humans look a little freaky, but they're good to have around the house because they keep roaches away. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. If you swab some divine nectar on a scrap of paper towel they love it and may even come to trust you. Check it out, my buddy [-漫~*'♞ൠ✴♚¤] Three Crystals Atop a Pillar of Bone Rattle Together, Stirred by a Sour Wind Which Blows From The East ♧♕ AS THE STARS BLACKEN AND WRITHE ♕♧ has one in his backyard who'll eat right out of his hand, he named him DROPLET OF DIAMOND UPON THE LESSER BASILISK'S TENTH RIDGE because he's so cute and small, look here's a picture! They say you're not supposed to feed them fourth-tier revalations but he just loves them so much!

(please do not feed wild humans revalations above the second tier, as this can damage their ability to participate in the human social system and can cause blindness, lesions and de-aging)

[fingersdecomposed]

everywhere everything. i wanna love you 'till we're food for the worms to eat, 'till our fingers decompose. keep my hand in yours.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

―╭༊·˚ peat (he/they) ♧  27 ♧ est ♧ trans masc ♧ mlm 

―╭༊·˚ favored genres/themes: supernatural ♧ horror ♧ grief ♧ platonic soulmates ♧ found family

―╭༊·˚ fandoms: hbo war (predominately) ♧ tolkien ♧ shadowhunters ♧ bg3 ♧ hunger games ♧ marvel ♧ justified

―╭༊·˚ current wips (january):  january drabbles ♧ blood always leaves a stain ♧ the road to victory ♣

―╭༊·˚ requests: i always accept requests from my to do list and prompts! 

―╭༊·˚ sideblog to (follows from) deadbrave.

―╭༊·˚ main blog: kindsummer.

―╭༊·˚ writing: PROMPTS. ♧ ASK GAMES. ♧ CURRENT FIC LIST.

―╭༊·˚ links: FIC TO DO LIST.  ♧  ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN.  ♧  SPOTIFY.  ♧ PINTREST. ♧ ORIGINAL CHARACTERS. ♧ TAGLIST.

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

♧ ?

Your my: internet homie!!!

How I met you: genuinely do not remember, via lmk I think?

Why I follow you: so much swagger ngl

Your blog is: lmk!!! My hyperfixation!!

Your url is: such a vibe tbh

Your icon is: oOOOH WUKONGGG!!!

A random fact I know about you: we met under shared brainworms :D

A random thought I had: damn, worms really spawned their own concept

[so-much-longing]

First day of term 1 tomorrow ☆

Here's hoping this year won't Kick My Ass like last year did.

I'm still so happy that I dropped my Italian class... goodbye, Miss ♤. You gave us more homework than Mr. ♧ and Ms. ◇ gave the ATAR physics and chemistry students... I will not miss your class.

Okayy bed time :] I will wake up So Bright And Early tomorrow y'all are gonna be like "wow... where'd he get all those fuckin' worms?"

I am far too tired to be posting like this. Goodnight, tumblr.

[spireofdeceit]

♧ hai :-]

You’re my: friend !

How I met you: backkk in sfm you're also one of the ancients

Why I follow you: im honestly not sure what got me to follow you originally was it sfm or not i cant tell

Your blog is: good! i love your posts they're my favorite

Your URL is: noelle deltarune

Your icon is: MY FRIEND MARIO

A random fact I know about you: very good at playing piano im jealous

General opinion: you;re responsible for a whole period in my life around mario and then kirby if it wasnt for you i wouldnt have gotten my switch and luigis mansion 3 and wouldnt have a severe brain worm about spm. i can so so clearly remember when it happened. it's kind of funny

A random thought I have: what is your favorite mario game

[shmowder]

P1 worms > P2 worms

[outpost51]

Happy STS! If you were to design a deck of playing cards based on characters in your WIP, who would you assign to be the King? The Queen? The Jack? The Ace? And the Joker?

Happy STS Nopal!!

You’ve triggered my cartomancy trap card!!

And given me the chance to ramble about some characters folks haven’t seen in Arsonist Chronicles yet!! [happy stim]

So I read a standard deck of playing cards the same as I’d read tarot (sans the major arcana), with the suits converted as such: spades = swords, hearts = cups, diamonds = coins, clubs = wands, jack = knave, ace = knight (I know, I don’t read the aces as aces, great crimes have been committed on this day). You didn’t come here for that though, you came for blorbos and blorbos you shall receive!

★○★○★○★

♤

King of Spades: Taredd is as brilliant as he is charismatic — a shame he uses what would otherwise be qualities of a good leader to be a manipulative little bastard. He’s the current king of the Fae while the Seelie Courts hold power, and only recently assumed the throne after his father mysteriously abdicated mid-Revel. The whereabouts of former king Theodas are unknown.

Queen of Spades: Princess Cassara, Cassie my beloved. Sharp, clever, and as calculating as her brother, she’s quite happy in her position as second-in-line — she gets all the perks of nobility with none of the boring work that comes along with it. That, and she might have a massive secret mutual crush on her personal guard, and as queen, she’d be expected to marry someone for political gain. No thanks!

Jack of Spades: Funny enough, a queen — the nebulous queen of the Unseelie Courts, to be exact. Although, she technically isn’t a queen just yet; she slipped away into the night right before her coronation a few months prior to the start of Unlikely Adventures. There’s a rumor she’s sought a fresh start among the humans, in retail no less, but it’s so preposterous, it’s passed around as an ironic joke rather than viable theory.

Ace of Spades: General Nelene is the aforementioned personal guard. She was part of the ritual trade-off when the Seelie Courts took over — the monarchs of the two choose new guards from the ranks, and then trade. It’s supposed to be a show of trust but, well. Fae. Anyway Nellie has a big lesbian crush on Cassara and they’re totally ✨ Doin’ It ✨ on the DL, and they’re definitely Not Planning Anything Nefarious. What do you mean the Knight of Swords represents unbridled ambition? Noooo, no, Taredd trusts her with his life, his sister’s life, and control of his forces—

♡

King of Hearts: Life — not for the King thing, it’s because she’s compassionate and generous, but she’s got great control over her emotions and she’s wary of disrupting the universal balance.

Queen of Hearts: Death. Yeah, we saw this one coming. She’s all the hyperempathy and none of the balance, thinks with her heart, doesn’t consider so much the consequences of her actions. Listen, you take an evening stroll through a graveyard and not feel your heart shatter into a million pieces over a little girl crying about her sister. I’m not saying I’d hand her a book of necromancy instructions, but I totally would.

Jack of Hearts: Ayla, of course. She’s the very embodiment of why we should not let our id run around unchecked. War crimes.

Ace of Hearts: Phada — she’s a whole can of worms by herself, and the reason we can’t have anything nice have vampires.

♢

King of Diamonds: Savras Zegan! Yes diamonds is my FZS&S suit. Savras is a funny little hoarder of objects both mystical and mundane.

Queen of Diamonds: Paghana Fithum, mother hen of the entire supernatural community.

Jack of Diamonds: Miorina Stazor, don’t fear the Mia, but do fear the Reaper. Something, something new life, resurrections, etc.

Ace of Diamonds: Tom Smith — a man of utmost diligence. Nuff said.

♧

King of Clubs: Acheron La Croix, Sang-d’origine bloodline. Imagine, if you will, the stuffiest, velvet-smoking-jacketest vampire ever. Now give him Dad Energy™️. Yeah, that’s Acheron.

Queen of Clubs: Fiery, determined, strong — Pamela Foster, president of the HOA and progenitor of the Castlebury Park vampire bloodline. It’s not often a new bloodline forms but when it does, it’s a big fucking deal — not to Pam. She has gardens to judge and citations to write and meetings to run and bake sales and festivals to coordinate and boy does she give the Vampire Council a run for their money.

Jack of Clubs: Psyche Hunter is a newer vampire and brings “fresh, young energy” to the council, whatever Acheron means by that. Personally, I think it’s because she taught him how to use a smartphone. Also, she’s been adopted by Keir and they’re bisexual power besties, and I just think they’re neat.

Ace of Clubs: Keir Toussaint is the perfect example of a centuries old immortal who’s fully integrated into modern society. This man was turned in fucking 1802. Fuckin regency era rake ass loves Fortnite and shitty beer. Brash, impulsive little punk.

🃏

Finally, we’ve reached the end. The wild card. The very embodiment of universal entropy. The Deep. [kisses his stupid head] Bastard <3

[le-velo-pour-dru]

♧ :D

Wahoo, let's do this! >:3

You’re my: mutual who likes iDKHOW and posts a lot about Stranger Things, and who I don't know too well but would be happy to get to know better :3

How I met you: I don't really remember! I know it had to do with iDKHOW though. Either you interacted with one of my posts, or I saw a post of yours in the iDKHOW tag, it was one of those two things. Sorry I don't remember which one though ;w;

Why I follow you: Cause you're an iDKHOW fan, and cause you seem like a fun nice person in general ^^

Your blog is: pretty Stranger Things-focused, from what I can tell, and while I can't say I'm familiar with that fandom, I'm glad you enjoy it :D 💖

Your URL is: very silly X3

Your icon is: a purple worm!!!!!!! :DDD Worms on strings are so fun, I actually have a pair of earrings that are purple worms on strings, they're amazing X3 💜

A random fact I know about you: Your icon from when I first found you was Tuxedo Sam :3 💙

General opinion: Overall, I don't know you very well yet, and I can't relate to your main fandom, but all my interactions with you have been great so far and I'd be happy to get to know you better! 😊🩷

A random thought I have: Feel free to send me asks or DMs whenever, if you want :3 Answering this just made me realize how little I know about you, and I'd be happy to change that if you want ^^ No pressure though, of course

[sosoribro]

(ask for pre-canon Rouxls!)

early one morning, as he's (presumably anxiously) preparing for another day of work, Rouxls hears a knock on his door. Outside, there is nobody to be seen, but there is a large gift basket, featuring a cute, frilly blue envelope labeled "Rouxls Kaard" in darker blue pen, positioned jusr outside of his door.

the note inside of the envelope reads:

"Good morning, Mr. Kaard! I hope you rested well (you've looked so tired lately). Me and some other Card Castle residents have noticed you've seemed really stressed lately, ever since you-know-who took over, and to be perfectly honest we've been a bit worried... so I and some of the other castle residents have gone ahead and made up a little care package for you! Hopefully this helps to cheer you up and calm your nerves a little. You just look so scared all the time, it can't be healthy... :(

We hope everything here is to your liking... please take care of yourself and remember to take breaks! You may not see it, but there are people in this building who care about you, and we miss your real, genuine smile! It was always so pretty... well, hopefully this brings you one ♡

Best of luck,

Your anonymous supporters ;)"

inside of the gift basket, which is festooned with dark blue glittery tissue paper and ribbon, there is:

♤ A box of fancy chocolates shaped like little card hands, with the spades being caramel or peanut butter filled, the clubs being minty, the diamonds being solid dark, milk or white chocolate, and the hearts being strawberry or... "worm jelly" filled.

♡ A few small bottles of good-quality calligraphy ink in deep blue, cyan and black

◇ A pair of fluffy blue knee-high socks

♧ A little plush... you! Seemingly crocheted, with a big smile on his face and holding a little worm!

♤ A face mask from a brand called "Just For Slimes," promising to "melt your stress away before you melt away!"

♡ A few herbal teas, hot chocolate packets and candies bound together with a blue ribbon

◇ A jar of... the finest gourmet worms, still fresh and wriggling!

♧ A fluffy jigsaw-pattered blanket

♤ And finally, at the very bottom... a prepaid voucher, printed on glossy paper, for a weekend of pampering at the local spa! Complete with room and board, an hour-long professional massage session, a mani-pedi, an "all-inclusive hair checkup," and unlimited all-day access to the hot springs, sauna, all-you-can-eat buffet and pool! An attached note says "tell the front desk you've recieved the "stress buster package" as a gift and show them this voucher. They'll be expecting you. It's all already paid for, Rouxls! Just enjoy it! ♡"

(He deserves a little relief, goshdarnit)

[fizzluvsbizzy]

Greetings, Homosapians.

My name? heh, dont be so coy.

Fizz, I am an NB of many names, so keep up unless you want to be schooled by myself or my league of dedicated followers. Mess with Shark Nation if you dare. Don't ask me about my Pro Nouns unless you want me to roll my eyes at you and tail kick you. HARD. I train my Tail kicks for hours every day, so bones WILL be broken.

♤♡◇♧

DNI:

Protestants. (Self Explanatory)

Klance shippers-- annoying.(except my boyfriend, he's great)

Brennan Lee Mulligan Haters (he's the only reason humanity is worth it)

Tumblr user Strange Aeons. DO NOT INTERACT or I will get you with my Teeth. Consider yourself warned.

As for those of you who are afraid of seeing what real darkness and depravity looks like? Heh........

Run While You Can.

Now That The Brain Worms Have Released Their Chains Over My grey matter. Let Me Introduce Myself, I Am Fizz! Lover Of @bizzyh8sfish, And Second-Hand Hater Of Fish. Stick Around, Beware Of My Hyperinterest In Hypnosis.

...And Cannibalism.

[silver-ace-of-spades]

The dads, the Whole Bunch of Bastards, Bowser Jr, and the Dark Fun Gang have one collective brain cell.

♤◇♧♡

[meme]

Waiter at a restaurant: Kids under 10 eat free.

Ludwig: Good thing my little brother Lancer here just turned 9!

Lancer: I'm 11, actua– mmmph!

(Ludwig puts a hand over Lancer's mouth)

Lancer: (muffled angry noises)

Bowser: Ludwig, stop.

(Ludwig puts his hand away and wipes it on his napkin with a disgusted look on his face. Lancer growls at Ludwig)

~~~

[either a tweet or a tumbl]

Iggy: I watched Ludwig, the "smartest" one in the group, tell me it would be "so efficient" to spray the fan with air freshener. He did, then proceeded to cough his lungs out when it blew back at him.

Susie: Mood.

~~~

[spongebob]

(Morton eats one of two chocolate bars that he and Susie were sharing)

Morton, angry: You took my only food! Now I'm gonna starve!

~~~

[spongebob]

Ludwig: I'm asexual and aromantic.

Lancer: What does that mean?

Roy: It means he's attracted to the letter A.

Ludwig: No it doesn't!

Lancer: A a a a a a a a a a a!

Roy: Stop it, Lancer, you're exciting him!

~~~

[original]

Bowser Jr: Teach me how to do a good evil laugh!

Lancer: Are you kidding? Yours is perfect!

Bowser Jr: Well, Susie said I sound like a baby Santa Claus.

~~~

[meme]

Roy: I live in Spain but the S is silent.

Wendy: I live in Spain but the A is silent.

(Wendy spins in her shell)

Susie: I live in Spain but the P and A are silent.

~~~

[based on a tumbl]

(Lancer is eating wasabi peas. He coughs from the spice and frantically sips some water after each one)

Lancer, after each pea: Wow, that one was HOT!

Ludwig, after the fifth pea: I am literally this close to killing you.

~~~

[follow-up to previous]

Morton: You either die a SpongeBob...

(Lancer eats wasabi peas and announces that each one was HOT!)

Morton: or you live long enough to see yourself become a Squidward.

(Ludwig barely resists the urge to strangle Lancer)

Larry: Wow, that was surprisingly insightful for a Patrick.

Morton: ...Shut up.

~~~

[original]

Lemmy: "15-year-olds when I was 10, 15, and 20" memes are so funny because I'm 15 and look 5.

Lancer: You're older than Susie?!

Lemmy: Isn't Susie 16?

Lancer: (facepalms) You're right... 16 is bigger than 15...

~~~

[vine]

Susie: Hey, I'm lesbian.

Morton: I thought you were Hometownian.

~~~

[based on a tweet]

Roy: So I work as a cashier, so I get a lot of weird shit from angry Christians, but this one made me audibly wheeze.

(Roy shows a paper to Susie)

Susie: "Satan also uses education" and a human man calling a gorilla "Daddy"

(Susie begins to laugh, which makes Roy laugh again)

~~~

[facebook]

Iggy: So excited for season three!

Susie: What show?

~~~

Iggy: Please respect my privacy, Susie.

[ tumblr ]

Lemmy: r/vexillology; Flag of Japan but with this perfect water stain on my towel.

Susie: "Oh shit, I pissed the bed, better post this for karma."

Lemmy: I didn't pee on it!

~~~

[based on a tumbl]

Susie: I showed my dad Tumblr and he told me to "teach the lesbians on [my] phone how to pirate."

Bowser: Tell them not to click on any of the ads with pretty women.

~~~

[original]

Lancer: Now you see me... now you don't! Ha!

(Lancer tosses a smoke bomb to the ground in an attempt to disappear. He coughs from the smoke and forgets to escape)

Larry: Wow, haha, that sucked.

Lancer: Thanks. I took inspiration from your terrible cooking skills.

Larry: Fuck you.

~~~

[original]

Queen: Larry May I Play Smash Bros With You

Larry: Sure.

Larry, to himself: It's nice having a gamer mom.

(Queen destroys him)

Larry: Even if she decimates me in every game.

~~~

[original]

Kamek: Toil, worms!

Rouxls: Excellent! You're makething great progress!

Kamek: With what?

Rouxls: Thine training to becometh the new Duke of Puzzles!

Kamek: Um, I'm a magic guy, not a puzzle guy. And your puzzles suck.

Rouxls: I–

Kamek: And saying "toil, worms" doesn't increase my puzzle skills.

~~~

[original]

Lancer and Susie: You did WHAT?!

Bowser: Kidnapped a princess. Why?

Susie: Don't make this harder than it has to be, Dad. Let her go.

(Bowser sighs and looks into the distance)

Bowser: I don't agree with your ideals, but you're free to be who you want. If you want to be my enemy, so be it. You will be grounded, though.

~~~

[legendary post]

Iggy: Putting sour candy strips into energy drink and calling it battery acid spaghetti. Will update later.

Iggy: Don't do this.

Susie: Don't tell me what to do!

Susie: Don't do this.

~~~

[bugsnax]

Iggy: I want you to throw that substance at me.

Lancer: What?! Isn't that dangerous?

Iggy: I've got safety goggles on, it'll be fine. There was no harm done to the Goombas, so I think I will be okay.

(Lancer throws a bucket of mysterious substance on Iggy, who immediately cries out in pain)

~~~

[follow-up to previous]

Rouxls, deadpan: Iggy, did thou get Lancer to throweth acid at you?