#zsredfolder

[pluckyredhead]

Thanks for doing the RAICES fic fundraiser! It's inspiring to see people making art for good causes. Receipt: imgur(.)com(/)oGHPVPE Ok, so, Iron Fist was a mess but I love your Danny, you do a great job with him. So I'd like to request Danny-centric Defenders mini-casefic or team found family good-natured sass? Otherwise, if you're not good with that, I could go for some fabulous Pride lawyer silliness. Thanks!

I love writing Danny, thank you! (And thank you for donating!) This got…real silly, and ended up being as much about Jessica as Danny, and also Danny steered HARD into the goofball curve, but it was fun to write. Hope you enjoy!

Jessica had not been thrilled to be woken up by a phone call from Danny. Sure, it was two p.m. when he called - but on the other hand, it was Danny, and that didn’t seem worth getting up for any hour of the day.

But Danny had been insistent that she come over now, and so Jessica had pulled on her least stained jeans from off of the floor and sulked her way across town in a cab she fully intended on making her own personal Ralph Macchio pay for.

Now, as she stood between Luke and Matt, gaping at the thing Danny was holding in his lap, she was starting to understand his urgency.

“Is that…” Matt started to say, closed his mouth, opened it again, and shook his head.

Colleen, sitting on the couch, put her face in her hands. She looked tired.

Matt tried again. “I’m assuming that my senses are letting me down right now and that is not, in fact, a dragon?”

“It’s totally a dragon!” Danny said, beaming up at them. The green, slinky thing in his lap stretched and yawned like a cat before burping out a puff of fire. “Isn’t it awesome?”

“Sweet Christmas,” Luke said.

-

“Where the fuck did you get a dragon, Rand,” Jessica said, once she’d found some alcohol in Danny’s fridge - Mike’s Hard Lemonade because he was an actual child, but better than nothing.

“Farmers’ market,” Danny said, scratching the dragon under the chin.

“What,” Matt said.

“It wasn’t a farmers’ market,” Colleen said with a sigh. “I told him to meet me at the farmers’ market and he got lost and wound up at some weird street fair instead. With dragons, apparently.”

“You can buy dragons at a street fair?” Luke asked.

“No,” Danny said, in a tone like Luke had said something ridiculous. Well, like Luke had been the first person in the room to say something ridiculous. “I bought a dragon egg. I’ve had it for months.”

Jessica and Luke looked at Colleen. Even Matt pointed his chin at her.

“Don’t blame me for this!” she said, throwing her hands up. “This apartment has ten bedrooms! I don’t check them all on the regular for mythological beings.”

Danny shrugged. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I figured it was a scam or a dud, or just, you know, a really cool paperweight. It’s really hard to get dragon eggs in this hemisphere. But it was only a couple thousand dollars…”

“Oh, of course,” Luke muttered.

“…and even if it wasn’t a real egg it was so cool looking. You guys didn’t see the shell, it was neat. And the guy who sold it to me kept winking, like, hey man, this is the real deal. So I thought I’d stick it in a spare bedroom, crank the heat up in there, and if it didn’t hatch in a few months, that was that. But…” Danny gestured to the dragon as if anyone else had been able to stop thinking “HOLY SHIT THERE’S A DRAGON IN HERE” the entire time he’d been talking. “It hatched!”

“And then it peed everywhere,” Colleen added.

“And then it peed everywhere!” Danny agreed. Jessica had never seen him so happy.

-

If Jessica was good at anything, it was finding out weird shit on the internet. She sat down in Danny’s “office” - more like a sticker collection room than anything, honestly - and opened his laptop. “This is too nice of a computer for you to use for nothing but Neopets, you know,” Jessica muttered.

“I needed to make sure my little dudes were still alive!” Danny protested. “I was away a long time.”

Jessica rolled her eyes and started searching. “Are you going on the dark web?” Danny asked, craning over her shoulder. She put a hand on his face and pushed him away.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Luke said, then glanced at Jessica. “Are you?”

“No,” she said. “There’s this forum, Strange Tales dot com. People talk about weird stuff they’ve seen and heard, try to get confirmation of it. These days it’s mostly people debating whether it’s Avengers shit or not, but sometimes there’s sightings of, oh, a man in black backflipping off a roof. A guy punching his way out of prison.” A flying, super-strong woman, too, but she’d done her best to discredit those sightings with the several identities she’d created on the forum until she hadn’t been able to hide any longer. “If anyone knows how to get rid of a dragon, these nutbars do.”

“But I don’t want to get rid of Shou Little!” Danny protested, hugging the baby dragon to him. It bit him. “Ow. I love her!”

“Shou Little?” Matt repeated.

“The dragon I got my powers form is named Shou Lao. She’s much smaller, so…” Danny shrugged like it was obvious. “I just shrugged, sorry, Matt.”

“I know,” Matt said.

“How do you know she’s a she?” Jessica asked. If mystical kung fu monk training involved studying dragon genitals, she officially quit.

“I don’t, not really, but she’s pretty tough, so I just assumed,” Danny explained. The dragon - Shou Little, apparently, bit him again. “Ow!”

Okay. Maybe Jessica wouldn’t quit just yet.

-

“If dragons are real, what else is real?” Matt asked.

“My disinterest in this conversation?” Jessica asked, glancing away from the computer for a minute. Matt and Colleen were stretching side by side in matching and frankly implausible looking poses, while Danny lay sprawled on the floor beside them. Luke at least knew what furniture was for, and had commandeered the office couch.

“I’m asking Danny, not you,” Matt said. “Okay, we have dragons. Does this mean…unicorns are real? Pixies? Demons?”

Luke raised his eyebrows and lifted his hand. Shou Little hung determinedly from his finger. She had been gnawing on him for ten minutes, ever since he’d offered himself as a more durable chew toy than Danny. “Worried you’re going to get in trouble for biting the underworld’s style?”

“Look, we’ve already dealt with resurrection and now dragons. I’m just wondering if mermaids are next down the pipeline,” Matt said.

Danny shrugged. “Unicorns and pixies are western mythology. Shou Little’s a Chinese dragon. I have no idea if that means the European ones are real, too.”

“Okay, so what else is in Chinese mythology?” Luke asked.

“K’un-Lun isn’t really part of China per se, but, uh…fenghuang,” Danny said, glancing at Colleen.

“Nian,” she added. “Fox spirits. Spirits in general.”

“And mermaids?” Matt asked.

Jessica turned all the way around. “What is it with you and mermaids? You really into clamshell bras or something?”

Matt gave her that annoying deadpan look that meant he could be joking or just that weirdly intense. It was harder to read when he was upside down. “We live on an island! It seems like pertinent information.”

“I’d worry less about mermaids and more about water dragons,” Danny said matter-of-factly.

“Water dragons?” Luke repeated.

“Grawr,” Shou Little added.

-

It took Jessica thirty-eight minutes to sort through all the tinfoil-hat selfies and conspiracy theories to find rumors of an honest-to-fuck dragon sanctuary in Ghuizhou Province, eleven minutes of Danny and Colleen having two separate phone conversations in Mandarin to confirm that this place was apparently somehow for real, forty-seven minutes for Matt and Luke to go to the nearest grocery store with Danny’s gold card and buy all the fish they could carry to feed the little monster…

(“She likes gummi worms too,” Danny had assured them. “I checked.”)

…and going on two and a half hours trying to convince Danny that no, he could not keep a dragon in a midtown Manhattan high rise.

“It’s a big apartment!” he insisted, clutching at her. “She’ll have plenty of room!”

“Didn’t you say Shou Lao filled an entire mountain?” Colleen asked.

“Maybe Shou Little won’t get so big! Her name’s only Shou Little, not Shou Big!”

“You named her that! Today!”

“You have neighbors,” Matt pointed out. “Neighbors who will notice weird noises and floors shaking and the fact that you’re covered in blood from dragon bites all the time.”

“Says the guy who crawls half-dead into his own apartment four nights a week,” Luke muttered. Matt frowned. “What? You think Claire doesn’t tell me all your business?”

“Matt’s still right, even if he is also stupid,” Jessica said. “Do you want to be stupid like Matt, Danny?”

“Hey,” Matt said.

“No,” Danny admitted.

“Hey!”

“She doesn’t belong here,” Colleen pressed. “She was stolen. She needs to go home.”

Danny was clearly weakening, but he still clung to Shou Little. “But she loves me!” Shou Little bit him. “Ow!”

“Look, man, we can just get you a puppy,” Luke said.

“I’m a millionaire. I can have both.”

“Dragon might eat the puppy,” Matt pointed out.

“Dragon might eat you,” Luke added.

“Come on, Jackie Paper, give it up,” Jessica said. “We’ve been here for hours and I have paying clients to meet with…” Malcolm had her schedule. “…eventually. Probably.”

Colleen sat down next to Danny and put a hand on his knee. “Hey. Danny, talk to me. What’s the actual issue here?”

Danny frowned at her, then dropped his gaze back to the dragon in his lap. His eyes softened. “Look, I know she doesn’t belong here,” he admitted. “I do. But…I get what that’s like. Not to belong. And I thought that maybe if the two of us didn’t belong with anyone else…”

Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s what this is? You’re looking for another fish out of water?” Shou Little raised her head at the word “fish.” “No, you had your dinner. These are metaphorical fish.”

“Stop arguing with the lizard, Murdock,” Jessica muttered.

“There wasn’t anyone like me in K'un Lun,” Danny said. “And there’s not anyone like me here.”

“You think there’s a lot of bulletproof dudes walking around this city?” Luke asked.

“Or people who can hear heartbeats?” Matt added.

“I carry a sword around a crowded metropolitan area,” Colleen pointed out.

They all looked at Jessica - well, except Matt.

“What?” she asked. “I’m completely normal. You four are the weirdoes.”

“See? And then there’s Jessica,” Matt said. Jessica flipped him the bird. “I know you did that.”

“That’s why I did it.”

“You’re not the only freak around,” Colleen said. “So why don’t you let Shou Little go back to where she belongs, huh?”

Danny sighed. Then he looked up at them and grinned. “Only if Jessica says she loves me just the way I am.”

Jessica crossed her arms. “Looks like we’re keeping the dragon.”

“Jessica.”

“What?”

-

This whole dragon thing was unutterably stupid, but Jessica wasn’t going to pass up a free trip to China if Danny was willing to cart all of them there. She’d take a week’s vacation in China over snapping dirty photos of cheating spouses any day. Even Claire and Misty and Matt’s fluffy lawyer friend had managed to get themselves invited.

Of course, it was entirely possible that Danny had invited them all because the kid was terrified of flying. He’d been deathly pale the whole way to the airport, and clutching the armrests of his seat long before they even started taxiing. Jessica was no good at comforting, so while the others kept Danny distracted and soothed up at the front of the plane, she sprawled sideways across some seats in the back, staring out the window and working her way through a few of those tiny bottles of hooch.

A scratching noise made her look up just as Shou Little - who Danny had given free run of the plane because he had a brain like a Hostess snack - clambered up onto her seat. Jessica sat still and wary as the baby dragon picked her way up over Jessica’s legs, her tiny claws poking through the denim. Shou Little sniffed at the bottle in Jessica’s hand, sneezed, then sat down and looked up at Jessica with shiny black eyes.

“What,” Jessica said.

Shou Little stared at her.

“Go on, go cuddle up to Danny,” Jessica said. “Or Nelson, he lost his mind over you.”

Shou Little didn’t budge. Jessica thought about dumping the thing off her lap, but…oh, fuck it, she wasn’t a total monster. And when was she going to get to chill with a dragon again?

“Fine, stay there if you want,” she said. “We’re landing in less than an hour anyway.”

She turned her head to gaze out the window again at the unfamiliar landscape far below. Shou Little inched closer, up over Jessica’s thighs and belly until she could peek out the window herself.

“What?” Jessica followed the dragon’s gaze to the ground. “That’s where you’re from. Whadya think?”

Shou Little stared blankly at Jessica, and Jessica realized belatedly she was talking to an animal like it could understand her. On the other hand, it was a magic animal. Who knew what the rules were?

Still, she dropped her voice so that the others couldn’t hear her. Well, Matt could still hear her, but if he tried to make fun of her for it later she had a list of burns as long as her arm that would probably make Lawyer Boy cry.

“Come on,” she said to Shou Little. “You didn’t want to stay in New York. It’s basically a pit. Way too many people and way overpriced. Plus you’d have to live with Danny and he’d probably make you do Mommy and Me yoga or something. You don’t want to sink to that level.”

Shou Little sank down against her and rested her head against Jessica’s stomach.

“Oh no,” Jessica said. “Don’t try to get around me. Better babies than you have tried. Malcolm…” Who she had eventually befriended and hired. Bad example. “Okay, Danny…” Who had convinced her to fly around the world on the silliest escapade she’d ever been a part of. “Whatever. Bambi eyes don’t work on me. And neither does cuddling."

Shou Little let out a tiny squeak of a yawn.

“…Ah, fuck it,” Jessica said, and gave in to the urge to pet the little monster, right behind her frilled crest. Shou Little closed her eyes and rested her head on her front claws.

“You’ll be okay,” Jessica told her. “Apparently there’s other dragons at this place. I guess even freaks of nature can manage to find each other.”

Something made her look up. Back up at the front of the plane, Danny was facing her, looking less pale than he had before, and Claire was leaning in saying something low and probably extremely sensible to him.

His gaze flickered to the dragon in her lap and then back up. Jessica scowled at him.

He grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

Jessica rolled her eyes and looked back down at the sleeping Shou Little. “See?” she whispered. “Even that dope. Even me.”

She looked out at the green, terraced landscape beneath them, growing closer every minute. “Yeah,” she said, running a finger down Shou Little’s spiny back. “You’ll be just fine.”

[nosuchthingasjimmies]

Zsredfolder just gave me a Sam Rockwell trigger warning while watching midsummer nights dream. This is why we're drift compatible.

[tokidokifish]

Have you read the new issue of Young Avengers? Because I'm pretty sure Loki's using your icon and it sort of weirded me out for a minute.

I haven’t! BUT WHOOPS I GUESS MY SECRET IS OUT I’M ACTUALLY LOKI

… running a dumb blog with crappy art and an obsession with Wanda Maximoff wait I take it back I am not Loki 

[pluckyredhead]

Anyway, if you're up for some good old-fashioned Boostle banter and smooching, anything Darkwing Duck, or some found-family fluff with the STAR labs wonder trio (shippy or not) I think that would be delightful.

This turned out less banter-y and more “the beginning of a 30K romcom I’ll never write” but I hope you like it anyway? :D? It’s set in the Rebirth universe, which, if you’re not reading it: Ted is, uh, “mentoring” Jaime (who thinks he’s annoying and wants him to go away) and had a brief superhero career himself, and Booster is...well, he hasn’t been seen in Rebirth yet but I’m assuming he’s still basically the shallow showboater we saw in New 52. Ted throws a little shade at him in passing in a recent issue, it made me smile.

ANYWAY ENJOY (I HOPE):

“Mr. Kord? There’s, uh...somebody here to see you.”

Ted sighed and pressed the speakerphone button. “I thought my schedule was clear for the rest of the afternoon, Connie. I was just about to head down to the lab.” He was already loosening his tie as he spoke. Among other things, being in the lab instead of the office meant not having to wear a monkey suit a second longer than he had to.

More importantly, it meant getting to study whatever the hell was going on with Jaime’s scarab instead of P&L reports, but that wasn’t information he could share with his hardworking staff.

“He doesn’t have an appointment but he’s, um, very insistent.”

Ted frowned. Connie sounded more flustered than alarmed, so the guy couldn’t be too much of a kook - and even if he was, Ted hadn’t forgotten all of his aikido. He was probably just a pushy reporter or job candidate. Ted could handle either of those options quickly enough, and it sounded like he wasn’t getting out the door until he did.

“Fine. Send him in.”

Ted hung up the phone and went back to shutting down his computer, tugging his tie the rest of the way off as he did. He heard the door swing open.

“I’m flattered, but no need to get undressed on my account,” said an amused - and oddly familiar - voice.

Ted glanced over, and then did a cartoonish double take. Standing in the doorway of his office was none other than Booster Gold, the self-promoting laughingstock of the superhero set. There was no mistaking him, even if his face hadn’t been plastered all over every billboard and magazine ad from here to L.A., since he was wearing that ridiculously shiny costume - though the effect was ruined a little by the backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Uh, I, um,” Ted stammered, thrown. “I...can I help you?”

“I certainly hope so,” Gold said, closing the door behind him and taking a seat in the chair opposite Ted’s desk, even though he hadn’t been invited to do either of those things. “I need a favor, Teddy. Can I call you Teddy?”

Ted’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he said.

“Fair enough,” Gold said, unperturbed. “See, I have a little technological problem on my hands, and I think you’re the man to help me with it.”

Ted folded his arms. He was tempted to throw this walking toothpaste ad out on his ear, but heaven help him, he kind of wanted to hear what the guy had to say. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, see, this particular problem has to do with technology from the future. My era. The twenty-fifth century.”

“Right, well, I’m from the twenty-first century, so I’m not sure what qualifies me to work on something you claim won’t be built for four hundred years,” Ted replied.

Gold put on an expression of mock surprise. “What? Where’s the self-confidence, Teddy? Where’s that rulesbreaking young turk of the technocorporate world I read about in Forbes? Aren’t you supposed to be one of the brightest minds of your generation?” He leaned forward. His smile was, Ted was dismayed to realize, even more dazzling in person than on those billboards. Photoshop had told no lies. “After all, you figured out Blue Beetle’s scarab, didn’t you?”

Ted fumbled his attempt to pick up his briefcase. “I...I don’t...I’m not...what?” he asked intelligently.

“Now, here’s what I’ve never understood,” Gold mused. “A kid powered by a magical scarab calling himself the Blue Beetle - that, I get. But you came first, and you didn’t use the scarab. So how’d you get the name?”

Ted gaped for another minute, then slowly closed his jaw and put his shoulders back. Mentally he ran over every power of Booster Gold’s he’d ever heard about on the news. Strength, flight, force field… He’d rather not fight a guy who could fly from his fortieth floor office, but he’d faced worse odds.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I told you,” Gold said. “I need your help.”

“If you think threatening me is the best way to - ”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that wasn’t a threat!” Gold said, sitting forward and dropping the lazy facade.

“You come in here and tell me you know not just my secrets, but those of people who trust me, and that’s not supposed to be a threat?” Ted asked. “How did you even know? Have you been following me?”

Gold spread his hands. “I’m from the future, remember? It - some things about you - they’re common knowledge.”

Ted blinked. “My...my superhero career will be common knowledge in the future?” That was a surprisingly thrilling thought.

“Ah, no.” Gold rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “That’s sort of a footnote in most of the biographies. But you’re a landmark inventor. I shouldn’t tell you details, but...”

“Wait, for what? Something with Kord Inc.? Something with the scarab?” Ted asked, then caught himself. Gold could well be making all of this up. “Never mind. Look, what exactly is it you need me to do?”

Gold picked up the backpack he’d left on the floor by his chair and opened it up. Ted took a wary step back, but all Gold did was place something metal on Ted’s desk. It was about the size and shape of a football and as gleamingly gold as the man himself, with three little fins on one end and a darkened black screen on the other.

Gold looked up at Ted, and for the first time since he’d walked in, he looked serious.

“His name’s Skeets,” he said. “He’s my friend. And you’re the only one who can fix him.”

[nosuchthingasjimmies]

Watching Pacific Rim with zsredfolder at 3am. Yessssssss. Also, the feeeeels.

[tokidokifish]

J?

Favorite things that start with J. Hmm. HMMM. Oh, jessiokafroka. That wasn’t hard at all!