#zoomass
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theunquietworld · 2 years ago
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always thinking about this campus plaque i walk by on my way to the library
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starscelly · 2 years ago
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Some more info on Joel Hanley:
https://www.pinesandpalms3.com/meet-kate/
Kate is his wife and they have a little boy named Hudson.
i honest to god. did not even really know he was married tbh. anon u r a lifesaver thank u
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sexhaver · 2 years ago
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listening to Losing My Edge as a kid before listening to any of the bands in the lyrics has continued to haunt me because whenever i read/hear Gil Scott-Heron's name, my brain automatically and unhelpfully parses it as "GIL! SCOTT! HERON!! (The Sllllllits...)". my brain also does this for UMass Amherst ("ZooMass Slamherst") and Anor Londo ("Anal Rodeo") but obviously for different reasons
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vikingnerd793 · 3 months ago
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LMFAO. No way, I graduated from UMass and am super familiar with the five college consortium. I also went to grad school at Springfield College and we'd go out in Northampton all the time (where Smith College is). So I totally get where this post is coming from. Also, Karlach is a Zoomass grad. Has to be! The parties? Club sidewalk and Antonio's? She'd LIVE for the hot cheese up front.
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behold: which of the 5 colleges the bg3 companions attended
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betteremmathannever · 6 years ago
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This is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen on tinder. And their on tinder as a female, must be trying to get the lesbian girls Lmaoooo
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vinyldisorder · 5 years ago
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Awesome stickers by @campusteez Have our team help you with your project today! :) [email protected] - - www.vinyldisorder.com . . . #campusteez #zoomass #design #custom #art #stickers #VinylDisorder #vinylstickers #customstickers #vinylstickers #vinyl #vinylslaps #customvinylstickers #stickerslap #custom #customstickerscuttoshape #glossstickers #stickers #stickerbomb #customdecals #customstickers #Diecutdecals #awesome #amazing #styleblog #awesome (at Ladera Ranch, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByvbUSFl7Oo/?igshid=1u34ny9qqsh8j
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borscht-and-beets · 10 months ago
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coming back to zoomass after masking for the whole break
when you and the homie are trying to emote correctly but you both have autism
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mew-tea · 8 years ago
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Ten thousand years ago, 99% of biomass ,or the total mass of organisms in an area or volume, was all wild animals, living free in the world. Today, humans and the animals that we raise as food make up 98% of the zoomass and are tamed. 
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hockeylvr59 · 3 years ago
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The Perfect Match || Taylor and Cale Makar
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Summary: When Taylor Makar meets Elizabeth “Leizel” Estroff he quickly discovers how compatible she is with his older brother Cale. Despite his parents early protestation to leave well enough alone, Taylor makes it his mission to set Cale up with his perfect match. 
Authors Note: And I’m back with a new series. I’ve gone into the deep end on my Makar brothers love and my brain has taken off with it. This is going to be a shorter series (she says now) between 5-10 parts total. Let me know what you think. FC Claim: Kirrilee Berger. 
A/N#2: (Posted in honor of Taylor’s first NCAA game tonight.)
Warnings: some swearing // Word Count: 3,093
~~~~~~
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The room was dark when an incoming text flashed across the screen of Liezel’s phone creating shadows on the wall. It was a Saturday night, the last Saturday before classes started and all she wanted to do was watch stupid sitcoms and take in the last few minutes of freedom before her life became nothing but classes and studying once again. A quick glance at her phone screen caused Liezel to let out a scoff and groan of disbelief because of course that’s who was interrupting her peaceful night. 
Jerry: Hey mom can you come pick us up? 
Jerry was...well he was just Jerry. The “hotshot” hockey player that Liesel’s younger cousin Katie was smitten with. Katie and Jerry had been dating on and off again since high school despite the long-distance with Katie attending college in North Carolina. They were currently on, but even when they were off Jerry had occasionally reached out to Liesel while she was wrapping up her undergrad degree at Holy Cross. 
Apparently, now that she was at the same school as him, Jerry’s fingers were getting a little more familiar with her contact number. 
Jerry: Please? I’m too fucking buzzed to drive and the dorms are so damn far.
Groaning again, Liezel picked up her phone to shoot off a text. 
Liezel: Don’t you have someone else you can bug for a ride? 
Jerry: If I did would I be asking? 
Liezel: I mean probably…
She knew she was being a little bit difficult but really he had it coming. Liezel knew that she was going to cave and she got up to grab a holy cross sweatshirt from her closet. It wasn’t cold outside but she was not putting a bra back on and she needed at least a little bit more coverage if she was going to venture out to campus on a Saturday night. 
Jerry: Please mom? 🥺
The mom thing was long-running because Liezel was certainly the mom friend to a group that included her younger cousin. After hearing Katie call Liezel mom teasingly more than a few times, Jerry had picked up the gag. 
Liezel: Take a chill pill and send me your location, I’m coming. 
Throwing on a pair of shoes, Liezel grabbed her wallet and keys in addition to her phone and made her way out of her studio apartment down to her car. Starting up the vehicle she put the address Jerry had sent her into her gps since she still wasn’t quite familiar with the area around campus - or even campus itself for that matter. Address loaded, she pulled up a mix of her favorite music to accompany her on the drive.
Fifteen minutes later, Liezel had pulled up in front of a house with people streaming in and out of the front door out onto the porch and front lawn. Even through the darkness, she could see plastic cups littering the grass and she shook her head. ZooMass was definitely an appropriate nickname for the school given what she had seen so far and classes hadn’t even started yet so things were only bound to get worse. 
Spotting Jerry talking to another guy, Liezel turned her music down and then lightly tapped her car’s horn to signal that she was there. The other guy jumped a little but quickly recovered and Liezel hid a chuckle as the two of them made their way over to her car. For a moment the sound of car doors opening flooded the car with what some people seemed to think was music but then the slamming of the doors thankfully muffled the noise. 
“Hey, mom. This is Taylor.” Jerry introduced, sliding into the passenger seat while his buddy folded long limbs into the backseat. “He’s a freshie on the team.” 
Shooting him a look, Liezel reached over to smack his arm. 
“Taking a freshman to a house party with alcohol? Real classy there, Harding.” Jerry flinched even if the smack was nothing compared to hits he regularly took on the ice. 
“He’s from Canada!” He exclaimed as if that explained everything. Liezel knew some of the Canadian provinces had a legal drinking age of 18, but in others it was 19 and here it was still very much 21. 
“I’m used to drinking with my buddies and cousins as well as my brother.” The voice from the backseat piped up. “And I’ll be 21 in the spring.” 
Liezel just rolled her eyes at Jerry before shooting the boy in the backseat a soft smile. She knew that drinking was part of the college culture and even if the smell of cheap ass beer was filling her car, the boy in the backseat still seemed well-spoken and mostly sober. Clearly, he wasn’t drunk, she just had to give Jerry a hard time because she could. She was also slightly curious about him being almost 21 and being a freshman but that was another story for another day. 
“Alright, where am I taking you?” She questioned, checking to make sure both of them had buckled their seatbelts. Getting Jerry’s response, Liezel nodded and turned her music back up as she pulled onto the street. Immediately, Somebody to Love by Queen flowed through the speakers followed by Jerry’s groan. 
“This shit again? When is somebody going to teach you to have real taste in music mom?” He complained. 
“Hey now. You don’t get to complain about the music when I just left my comfortable couch to pick your ass up. Maybe someone should teach you to appreciate real music instead of that rap shit you like.” Liezel snapped back, turning the music up a little just to spite him. 
A chuckle sounded from the backseat but the boy there didn’t say anything, just looking out the window as Liezel drove back to campus. Over the rest of the short drive You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi, Beautiful Day by U2, Drops of Jupiter by Train, and Mr. Brightside by The Killers cycled through as the music of choice. Jerry continued to make faces from beside her, the boy not knowing damn good music when it was right in front of him. The boy in the backseat however seemed to be indifferent, occasionally mouthing the words along from what Liezel could tell from her rearview mirror. 
Reaching the nearest street to where Jerry had requested to go, Liezel parked the car and let out a soft sigh as Jerry flung the door open before he had even fully unclipped his seatbelt. Flying from the car with a “thanks mom” tossed back in her direction, Liezel sighed, still partially wondering what Katie saw in him. The backseat opened more carefully and as the boy slipped halfway out of the car he spoke softly. 
“Thanks for the ride uh…” He trailed off like he was searching for something. Liezel realized that Jerry had probably never mentioned her name and had been calling her mom the entire time. 
“Liezel.” She filled in the gap, turning over her shoulder to look at him. 
“Liezel.” He repeated, slight intrigue audible in the single word. “Thanks, Liezel. I really appreciate it.” 
“You’re welcome. Try not to let Jerry get you into too much trouble.” She teased, smiling again at his laugh as he closed the door behind him carefully. 
With the two boys walking away, Liezel headed back to her apartment, ready to resume her original evening plans. 
*****
Shoving his hands into his pockets, Taylor debated what he wanted to say as he trailed behind his teammate Jerry. 
“So uh...what’s the story with her?” He finally asked as they headed inside their building. Jerry just looked at him confused for a moment but Taylor kept his face neutral. 
“She’s Katie’s cousin,” Jerry stated nonchalantly. “Why...you interested?” 
Coughing, Taylor shook his head. He wasn’t looking for anything like that, he was just curious is all. 
“Nah man. No. I’m not interested.” Taylor insisted. “Was just curious how you knew her, is all. You just mentioned a friend coming to pick us up.” Dropping the topic, the two continued upstairs and then parted to head to their own rooms. Toeing his shoes off after letting himself into his dorm room, Taylor headed over to his bed flopping onto it before sliding his phone out of his pocket. The nightly check-in text from Cale made him smile fondly and he typed out a quick reply. 
Taylor: Don’t worry, still alive. Went out with Hards tonight, met someone that has the same music taste as you. 
Cale: Well at least someone there has some taste. Get some sleep. 
________________
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Having a two-hour gap between classes was one of the worst in Liezel’s mind. It was too long to sit around in a classroom building to kill time but it was too short for her to go back to her apartment because by the time she got back she’d have less than an hour before she’d have to leave again. It was also inconvenient because she hated to carry around unnecessary books but that meant she didn’t have what she needed to be able to use that free time to work ahead. 
Plus unlike in undergrad, Liezel was struggling to find a spot to camp out in that was quiet and comfortable. 
Today she’d tried a little coffee shop but after trying to study for twenty minutes she’d barely made it past a handful of pages. Getting ready to shut her book and try to find somewhere else, Liezel heard the soft clearing of a throat and when she looked up someone was standing in front of her. 
“Liezel right?” The soft male voice questioned, causing Liezel to crease her brows trying to figure out whether she knew this person or not. Sensing her lack of recognition he spoke again. “I’m Taylor. I was with Jerry when you picked us up a couple weeks ago?” That triggered Liezel’s memory and she nodded in understanding. 
“Yeah. Sorry, I’m not great with faces and it was dark out.” She quickly apologized. “How are things, staying out of trouble?” She asked, relaxing a little bit as he leaned against the chair across from her. 
“Yeah, trying to.” He joked softly. “I uh...I couldn’t help but notice your textbook on Psychology, is that your major?” 
“Yes. I have a bachelor’s in Psychology....” Before she could finish Taylor was jumping in. 
“Wait, you’re not an undergrad?” His cheeks tinged slightly pink. 
“No, I’m working on my master’s in social psych,” Liezel replied. 
“Oh. I just...that makes sense.” Taylor replied, rubbing at the back of his head. “I guess I thought you were just an upperclassman.” 
“Nope. Though that would have at least given me the advantage of knowing where on campus is a good quiet place to study between classes. Instead, I’m still struggling with that.” 
“There’s a lounge in Thompson that’s not bad for studying,” Taylor responded quickly. Liezel furrowed her brows wondering how he knew that after such a short time.
“Is that like a hockey player secret?” She asked. 
“I mean kinda...it’s more a ‘my brother secret.’” Taylor replied, eyeing Liezel across the table before pulling out the chair and sliding into it while seamlessly dropping his bag to the floor. 
“Your brother goes here too?” 
“Went here. Well...he’s taking an online class but…” Taylor paused mid-sentence. “You don’t know who my brother is, do you?” Liezel just shook her head, an expression on her face that read ‘should I?’. Taylor’s expression relaxed and he just chuckled to himself. “You must be the only person on campus who doesn’t know who he is.” He mused. “You didn’t go here for undergrad?” 
“College of the Holy Cross,” Liezel replied, shaking her head. “Told you I don’t know where things are on campus.” She shrugged. 
Taylor’s smile grew again and he reached out in offering for a handshake. 
“Taylor Makar. Younger brother to UMass legend Cale Makar.” A flicker of recognition crossed Liezel’s face because it was hard to not hear that name around campus though she knew absolutely nothing about him. 
“Let’s just stick with Taylor?” She suggested a bit hesitantly, causing Taylor to chuckle and nod. 
“Sure.” He agreed, totally cool with the lack of connection to his brother. Even after a few weeks, it was hard avoiding people seeking him out because of Cale and now, here was someone that didn’t know the name and didn’t seem to care to. 
“So you’re studying social psychology, you said?” He questioned, changing topics back to what had drawn him over to her table in the first place. When Liezel nodded he continued eagerly. “That’s really cool. I mean I don’t know what exactly social psychology entails but my family...we’re big on the psychological aspect of things.” 
After explaining her area of focus in social psychology, Liezel listened to Taylor talk about how his dad would play psychology talks in the car on road trips and how as an athlete, sports psychology has been a big part of trying to grow and improve his game and not get caught up in the mental aspect of things. Taylor asked her thoughts about his intro to psych class syllabus and really seemed interested in the topic Liezel was thinking about writing her master’s paper on in the coming years. Before she knew it, it was almost time for her next class and when Taylor offered to walk with her she agreed. 
“So I have a question.” Taylor declared as they crossed campus to where Liezel had her next class. 
“Hit me.” She replied, adjusting her bag over her shoulder after fixing her hair as the breeze caught it. 
“Is Liezel really your name?” He asked quietly. “Because...and I don’t mean to offend, but I’ve never heard it before and it’s a little weird.” 
“Weirder than Cale?” Liezel tossed back with a giggle. Taylor laughed again at the chirp on his brother’s name. 
“Okay, I’m keeping you.” He joked. “Chirping my brother’s name, you’re in. But seriously…” 
“Well for one. Liesl is the name of the eldest Von Tropp kid in The Sound of Music.” She explained. “Spelled differently but yeah.” She paused as they stepped to the side of the path as a group of students came barreling down the walk in the other direction. “Second. Liezel is a german diminutive for Elizabeth...which is my given name.” 
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard that nickname...but cool.” Taylor declared opening the door to the classroom building Liezel had led them to. “I’ve gotta jet to my own class but it was fun talking to you. I’ll see you around.” Taylor declared and before Liezel could say anything else, he was gone, long legs taking him back outside. 
*****
Liezel had just sat down with a plate of pasta on her couch when her phone chimed signaling that Katie was texting. 
Katie: What’s this I hear about you having coffee with one of Jerry’s teammates? 
Katie: Are we going to be able to go on double dates?!?!
Katie: Answer me! 
Liezel: Can’t you wait, I just sat down for dinner. 
Katie: Uh no. No I can’t. And why are you having dinner so late anyway? 
Sighing, Liezel set her plate aside knowing Katie wasn’t going to let up because that’s just not who she was. 
Liezel: Because I just got out of class like an hour ago and it takes time to get home and actually cook food. 
Liezel: To answer your question, yes I had “had coffee” with Taylor if you want to phrase it that way. He saw my social psych book and came over and we talked about psychology for like an hour. He was with Jer when he bugged me to pick him up a couple weeks ago and I guess he recognized me. 
Liezel: No, no there will not be any double dates. He’s only 20 Katie, and like he’s cute but in an adorable puppy way, not a sexually attractive way. 
Liezel: If anything I want to pinch his cheeks not fuck him. 
Katie: Hold up...Taylor? Taylor as in Taylor Makar? You spent over an hour talking to Cale Makar’s younger brother???
Liezel: I mean yeah...that’s what he said his name was. 
Katie: Holy shit Liez. You do know his brother is like a legend right? 
Liezel: I mean I’ve heard the name around campus but I have no idea who he is. 
Katie: No idea who he is. No idea who he is?!?!
Katie: Cale is the biggest name recruited to UMass ever. He was drafted 4th overall in the NHL draft by the Colorado Avalanche. He played two years with UMass, won the Hobey Baker trophy for best college player, played in the national championship game the next day and then the day after that he signed with the Avalanche and 24 hours later he played his first NHL game and scored his first goal. He won the Calder trophy for best NHL rookie his first season and then finished second this past season for the Norris trophy for best defenseman in the league. 
Katie: He’s a legend. 
Liezel: Do I need to tell Jerry you’re having wandering eyes. Damn Kat. 
Katie: Oh shush. Jer would tell you the exact same thing. Who do you think I learned it from? 
Katie: Did Taylor mention he also got drafted by the Avalanche this summer? 
Liezel: No...because we were talking about psychology, not hockey. 
Katie: God you’re so lame. I’m disappointed in you. Did you at least give him your number? 
Liezel: No...why would I do that? He walked with me to my class and that was it. 
Katie: Oh my god I can’t even talk to you anymore. 
Taking the opportunity to end the conversation so she could resume eating dinner, Liezel tossed her phone across the couch wondering why people made such a big deal about sports achievements when they’re people too. 
****
In his dorm, Taylor was getting ready for bed but after today’s conversation with Liezel, there was just one more thing he needed to do. 
Taylor: Mark this down on the calendar. I talked to the woman Cale is going to marry today. 
Gary: What are you talking about? 
Taylor: No questions. Just mark it down and wait and see. 
Laura: Stay out of your brother’s love life Taylor David. 
Taylor: Night, love you guys. 
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theunquietworld · 6 years ago
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roboticchibitan · 7 years ago
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I went to school at Umass Amherst. Everyone is like that there. Not kidding that place is ridiculous. There’s a reason they call it “Zoomass.”
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One of the funniest bios I’ve seen in a while.
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bqstqnbruin · 4 years ago
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UMASS TO THE FINAL FUCK IT UP ZOOMASS
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sexhaver · 4 years ago
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Hey I’m about to commit to UMass Amherst and I was wondering if you could tell me what you like and don’t like about the school? I haven’t been able to visit campuses so I’ve been asking the students I can find that aren’t on campus brochures lmao
literally the only time i visited that campus was on a scavenger hunt to do an ollie over their seal on the quad. also we call it ZooMass Slamherst
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hanzbasil · 7 years ago
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@iamcardib knows what’s up!! 👏🏻👏🏻 Go Minutemen!! #MySchool #Umass #Zoomass #Aluminum #MyAlmaMater #UniversityOfMassachusettsAmherst #Amherst
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pinkcity11 · 7 years ago
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These gardens are rubbing off on me. 🌹🌹🌹🌹 #flowers #zoomass
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tgtp17-blog · 7 years ago
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Episode 4 of The Green Tea Podcast
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