#zhongchi angst

[nukiiszn]

death finds me with my arms open —

in which grimreaper!zhongli finds ajax on his last day of life

cw: suicide

"a grim reaper?"

the grim reaper was never called to a place without a corpse.

he was at the rooftop of a tall apartment complex, a ginger haired boy sat on the edge next to him.

"why are you here?" the reaper turns to the boy.

"to watch the stars. care to join me?" the boy cocks his head with a grin in return.

the immortal didnt have much reason to refuse. he was called here for a reason, and his best lead was this human.

"i suppose." he took a seat across from the blue eyed male, giving him a curious eye. "what is your name?"

the boy hummed, as if thinking over the question; over something so simple? "i go by many. which one would you like to know?"

the reaper made a face, thinking over the odd response. "your name. whichever belongs to who i am talking to."

the stranger snickered, amused. " ..childe." he paused. "do you have a name?"

"i have.. many as well." the reaper found a curious smile crawling on his face. multiple names for an immortal were not an oddity, but for a mortal human.. "which one would you like to know?"

ajax grins. "whichever one is yours."

"morax." he responds with a bemused expression. "my name."

"you are a reaper, are you not?" childe observes the long tail curled behind him, the tall striking horns, and the amber hued slits in his eyes. grim reapers were of fiction, supposedly, yet one stood right before him.

"yes." morax confirmed. "i'm not sure why im here, however."

"have you ever been called for deaths that will happen? like, in advance? or to prevent them, even." the ginger's eyes glimmer with something morax can't quite figure out.

"i can't say i have, for the former." morax pauses. "our job is to collect the remains of the dead and let them pass on in peace, for the latter. we have no role in interrupting their demise, it would upset the flow of nature."

childe hums, eyes downcast to the bustling city. "ah, yes, i suppose you would be a guardian angel, in that case. it would be quite nice if mine showed up."

morax watches for a second or two. "are you up here to kill yourself?"

the ginger snickers once more. "i wouldnt put it so bluntly. id call it a graceful plummet to my inevitable end, but yes, if you must know. i am."

the reaper's eyebrows crease and he huffs begrudgingly. these sorts of humans were the kind he disliked.

childe quirks an eyebrow. "what, not a fan?"

"hardly. i have no interest to tolerate mortal tomfoolery and their nonsensical gambles."

"gee, strong opinions on something you have no place in. you can't interfere with the flow of nature, remember?" the human repeats, almost mockingly.

morax grumbles in response, his tail flattening on the concrete ground behind him. "you seem to have recognized me immediately. a grim reaper, that is."

"oh, i had my phases. i know my fair share of mythology. grim reapers were an especially keen interest of mine."

"why so?" morax replies keenly.

"their physical depictions, they were gorgeous on paper, and even more so in person." childe offers a smirk. "though quite indignant, unfortunately."

the reaper raises a brow. "grim reapers have hardly much to be jolly about, i assure you."

the conversation falls silent for a while, childe's eyes returning to the stars.

"have you ever been in love, morax?"

morax pauses, stills, then his eyes flicker down, an answer in itself almost.

"yes." morax replies, grimly. "i miss her everyday."

"was the pain great?" childe inquires. "when you lost her."

"greater than the wrath of a thousand vengeful gods." he breathes. "light left my world along with her."

"would you have traded your life for hers?" childe inquires.

"in a heartbeat."

"so you would kill yourself for her?"

morax stills. "what?"

"you would end your life for her heart to beat once more." he reiterates. "so you would kill yourself for her?"

morax hesitates. "yes. i.. suppose i would."

"so you would understand, empathize even, as to why im here."

his amber eyes flicker over. "why are you here?"

"i lost someone. just like you. i lost everything when i lost them. now i will finally lose this body too." childe smiles, regretfully.

morax juts out his jaw. "they would not come back, however, unlike your hypothetical for me. do not be foolish."

"true." the mortal replies. "yet there is no purpose for me here anymore. no reason to live."

"i lived." morax replies. "i lived to tell my tale to you. can you not, for someone else?"

"but you cannot die. you do not have the luxury." childe shuts his eyes tight.

morax wavers.

"you will live even as your world reduces to nothing but misery and gore, and you will do nothing but wish wistfully for the luxury of nothingness."

"but you are death itself, and you persist." childe's eyes meet his, pleadingly.

"do not take this luxury away from me. let it embrace me, if not you."

the reaper softens. a breath, then two, then he speaks.

"zhongli."

childe tilts his head inquisitively.

"my name."

the ginger smiles, soft and real and genuine, one of but a hurting boy.

"ajax."

the reaper understands.

"it was nice to meet you, ajax."

"you as well, zhongli."

zhongli's throat wells. "go."

and he does. he flies. he flies gracefully, a plummet towards his death, as inevitable as he wished it to be.

zhongli's heart lurches as ajax's body does, his throat tightens as he hears the air push around the freefall, his chest hitched with sharp pain as he hears the gruesome splat of flesh on concrete floor.

death falls silent, in ironic condolence, as it descends to the end of the line where lost souls meet their ever after.

he reaches out with a palm, and the remains of young life weave between his fingers before settling into the arch of his palm.

he rises, and holds the soul close to his heart.

tomorrow is another day. with another life lost to life itself. this time, this one, he would carry with utmost sorrow, to peace forevermore.

[moonlightdoesgenshin]

Zhongchi angst is nice and all but have you considered

Them just being partners

Ajax not being used to unconditional love, because everyone in his past who has "loved" him has used him in one way or another, and Zhongli slowly helping him understand that he loves him no matter what, that he deserves comfort after his nightmares and gifts on his birthday, that he's worth more then his brute strength.

Zhongli having a rough day on the anniversary of Guizhong's death but trying to hide it, not wanting Ajax to see him like that, but Ajax breaking down his walls and making sure he knows that it's ok to be down, to grieve, to still not be "over it" no matter how long it's been. That yes, being stuck in the past is unhealthy, but so is forcing yourself to not think about it.

Their relationship is messy and complicated, yeah, but it also has the ability to be beautiful and loving.

I want more healthy relationship Zhongchi fics, damnit</3

(If anyone has fic recs pls gimme I need them)

[nomelwelloy]

Ex lovers au Zhongli and Childe- it has been months since the separation, but-

-Zhongli still buys two of everything, until he’s reminded he only needs one new set of chopsticks; He should only order one serving of fried rice, not two with a side of seafood soup.

On most days, he has to make the extra effort of keeping the extra cutlery he’s set, chiding himself with quiet resignation. He learns to reclaim the centre of the bed but it feels odd somehow, and come morning, he wakes on the right side of the bed again.

The house is quiet, returned to a familiar stillness that Zhongli has to squeeze back into like a undersized garment. It’s stifling, suffocating, and he fights the urge to tear into the silence, to sink his claws into the walls and rip everything apart until there’s nothing to feel but the splinters embedded in his flesh.

But dragon skin is tough, and his heart has lost its stony layers.

He sits back and sips his tea, eyes occasionally straying to the empty chair on the other side of the table. Tomorrow he will need to remind himself again, but that is all right; What is another few lonely millennia, when departures have marked most of his lifetimes.

//

Childe catches himself walking down a winding street to a house whose lights flicker dimly in the waning night, knowing it’s door is unlocked, it’s owner dozing off in the chair by the window.

He takes sharp turns and quick steps to right himself, and he fills his mind with arbitrary tasks and passing conversations that do not allow a lapse in his thoughts. And so he does not falter, he does not idle.

He is in constant movement, his energy crackles and sparks. His enthusiasm is to the point of maniacal excitement; when he fights his fists fly without hesitation, his daggers tear through fabric and skin without the slightest resistance.

It is pure lightning surging through his veins, untamed and wild, searching for an explosive release in which dire consequences become mere inconveniences.

Childe burns all that he touches, and fails to feel the stinging upon his skin; he’s too busy rippling purple daggers from his fingertips as they tear through his nerves.

Childe is never idle. Frenetic schedules keep him from missteps towards that street, that house, that window, the one framing a lone silhouette sitting in the candlelight.

[daydreaming-paradies]

Shine In My Memories

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: Loving an immortal is what people say is an wonderful feeling and experience but…Will it last long when you are just a mortal?

ᡣ𐭩pairings: Zhongli x Gn!Reader

ᡣ𐭩 Warnings: Angst, Reader died, Zhongli’s POV, having memories of you in his mind

How long was it? The last time I hear your voice, calling out my name with such fondness. How you tackle me in a hug. It has been years. Meeting you is a blessing. We have met in such interesting circumstances. You were a citizen from Fontaine. A strong yet hard working person..the type to never let not one mistake bring you down. You were friendly yet tended to get sassy when you want to be. 

You were straight to business but when it came to me, you seemed to lose your words and that strong personality of yours. I always knew that you had a crush on me…you are not very subtle about it. Huo Tao kept teasing me about you even if she was a bit of a handful, she was right. I slowly yet surely grew feelings for you. Every day, we hang out when we are free..whenever you vent to me about your promises and how I always comfort you. The day when I asked you out, you were so red in the face that I thought that you were having a fever but thankfully you accepted my confession. Having you as my lover is a wonderful thing, making sure that you were treated right, making your days on this earth memorable.

Until...that day, when you were killed during a mission by your former friend who grew jealous of you. The news of your death was delivered to me by Xiao and I was heartbroken. Why have they killed you like this? Why do they take you away from me? I remember needing space to myself...and just broke down. You, my feisty lover is now gone. I will never hear your voice, laughter…seeing you flustered...seeing those beautiful eyes shine and that smile…the warm genuine smile. I will never forget it. 

After your funeral, I have not dated anyone else. Why would I?...All my memories with you are still fresh in my mind. I have always visited your grave and placed your favorite flowers there because I know you love them dearly..every day…every night, I think of you. I dream of you. I can’t move from you. Everything reminds me of you. I know that I cannot do anything to get you back but you are forever my muse. You always shine in my memories. 

Maybe in another life, we can start over and I vow to protect you. Rest in peace, my darling.

~Taglist: @areislol @mikashisus @wystiix @dailypenpen @phinbie @yuan4i @husky-studies @worldsxtar @yoghurtsan @windblume-wishes

[genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles]

omg more yandere angst pleaseee! maybe with scaramouche, zhongli, and alhaitham or cyno? :3

Ohhhh, Yes I can my dear. I can and shall provide that for you. :)

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••° Scenario: i would like to request a yandere scenario but oh no it's really really sad. if you can, i would want to see yandere kazuha, childe, tighnari like regretting breaking reader. like reader keeps getting hurt by the yanderes until they feel nothing and at first the yanderes didn't mind it thinking they were obeying them but then they start feeling guilty for breaking you because now you aren't expressing any emotions, no matter what they do.

all in all, very very angst at the end ..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°

Part 1: Here Trigger Warning: These are a bit more darker, so please proceed with grave cautious. Contents Contain Amputation, broken limbs, unregistered surgeries, Privacy violation, Boundaries trespassing, non consensual kissing.

Scaramouche ┌─❀̥˚───❀̥˚─┐┌─❀̥˚❀̥˚─┐┌─❀̥˚───❀̥˚─┐

Scaramouche was gently adjusting your new limbs, as you lay there in his bed, staring endlessly at the ceiling, no skies are in sight. Scaramouche screaming and scolding fell on deaf ears for you, as all you heard was ringing in your ears. You had such a dull face, dull hair, dull eyes, dull greyed out, blind eyes. Yet you can see. Yet, what is the point of processing everything around you right now? All you see is blurs of things that were made into use by the living hands. Just like how you were in Scaramouche's hands. You used to be a very strong women, a leader, you lead people, you lead families to your goal of freedom. Oh, the irony of that, when you see yourself being hugged in Scaramouches arms. You were in between his legs, as he hugged you tightly, crying against your back. You looked down at your hands...they weren’t yours. You used to be such a proud women, and a proud women who untangled the endless gibberish in Scaramouches heart. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." You listen to Scaramouche cry into your back. You were better then his own mother who abandoned him. You lead with pride and never abandoned anyone. You kept everyone to you, you never regretted your creations or called them mistakes. Scaramouche ended up wanting to follow you endlessly, obsessing every detail of you. However, now he sits against the wall with you, regretting the monster he just made. He was crying, as he kept trying to re attach his doll limbs onto you, as he thought, maybe if you two switched limbs, you two can be closer and trust one another. However, little did he know, human limbs can’t return back like a doll's limbs. You say with his unfeeling doll limbs falling off of your shorten arms, while scaramouche had your arms attached to him perfectly. Oh, how much he loves you right now, right?

Zhongli ╚══•●•══╝╔══•●•══╗╚══•●•══╝ ╔══•●•══╗

Zhongli was carrying your limp body in his arms, he cradled you tightly to his chest, rocking you. His delusions has gotten the best of him, as your suffering was the cause of his mind going into full erosion. He cradled you tightly against his chest, crying, as he tried to laugh. "Aha...look...we are so happy together, don't you love being in my arms? Let's get married..be with me forever..." You were a doll at this point, but you were his doll at a farther point. Despite his smile coming from his delusions of you being happy in his arms, regret was showing in his tears, as he fell to his knees. You were such a traditional and wonderful women, who understood his ways the most. You understood him, his troubles, and his mind. For all, you desired a peaceful life such as he did. You understand his bindings to a contracts and beyond. He felt like he found the perfect human who matches and met his every need as a man. And, so. You signed a contract with him. To always be with him, to always love him. Little did you know, this contract was too vague as you two had two different ideas of this concept. The more you seemed to overstepped the grounds, the more he punished you, as his idea of love and dedication was much more extreme of yours. Was this all worth it? Was this really a way to treat the person you love? The punishments were too much. To the point, that you heard a snap in your head. Immediately you dropped. You were tired, and you immediately gave up. There were times, where you can get up and walk as he demanded of you. However, now here you are in his arms, no longer responding to him, with two broken legs, as he was looking down on you with tears. "The contract has been fulfilled" He said, as you heard parchment being torn by your right ear. Alhaitham └── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

He was looking down at you, in the surgery table, as he was reading a book on procedures. You were there, motionless, uncaring, as you were looking to the side. Nothing mattered anymore. You were a incredible intelligent women, director of the branch in the Akademiya that involve maths. Alhaitham loved you for your unique methods of solving problems and issues, and how unique it was. He read all your books and researched that you submitted. To you, he was a simple scribe who desires a comfortable life. You desired the same, as the more you two talked, the closer you guys got. You both read together, told each other stories, went on walks and even battled alongside each other. You were head over heels, he was perfect, until he wasn't. As said, the math branch is particularly male dominant, so you are often with males throughout the day. Especially, males who can’t keep their eyes and hands to themselves. Why must they placed their nasty fingers on your math notes? Asking questions with their pig breaths in your view? Alhaitham snapped, and decided, he wanted you to himself only. He took you on a nice date to his place, he wanted to show you his grandmother's book collections. He wanted to show you his personal prized possession. Once you fell asleep on top of him, in his arms. He carried you down to his basement, that of course Kaveh would never know about it. He gently strapped you into a bed, and kept you in the dark, no window of time, as there were no windows. Just darkness. You only need to rely on him, and him only. How long has it been? Days? Months? Years? You couldn’t tell, Alhaithaim forced you to fully rely on him, he bathed you, fed you, accompanied you to the bathroom with unneeded helicoptering. He would constantly hold you, cuddle you, love you to all his heart's content. Despite him constantly yelling at you, with the most sounded and logic argument of keeping you here with him. You don’t know how long it has been, but you were tired. There was nothing for you, besides this darkness...you eventually gave up. You slowly became a living doll to him. He didn’t like this, he wanted to try and get you back, nothing in his books were helping him, so...if he can’t help from the outside...he will have to go inside. It makes sense, no? Al Haitham tried to convince himself, as he is clenching his jaw, holding the scalpel in his head, ready to open your head and see what was wrong with you. His jaw his clenched harder, is he really going to defile the love of his life?...He had no other choice, you were no longer the love of his live...you were just a shell. With that last sound argument...he adjusted the scalpel and started. You made no sound. Cyno ❉ ╧╧╧╧ ✿ ╧╧╧╧ ❉ ❉ ╧╧╧╧ ✿ ╧╧╧╧ ❉ ❉ ╧╧╧╧ ✿ ╧╧╧╧ ❉

Cyno was in a bathtub with you, he was holding you against him as he washed your body. You head was laid on his shoulder, as you felt nothing but coldness. Cyno was washing your back, as he tried to talk to you, anything for you to respond to him. He was almost close to having a breakdown, very close to having a breakdown. You weren’t responding, moving or doing any basic human things for months. You used to be and officer of the desert, managing things that weren’t right, drug trades, illegal stunts, black market sellings. You were an offer of justice, you were someone who desired justice within the world. Cyno admire that of you. He would often ask you for information on his cases of students selling information. You were a women who won his heart, as you showed strong character and morals. However, you didn’t exactly like him back, in fact, you liked his friend more then him. Tighnari. You enjoyed flowers, and you loved it, seeing Tighnari with his Botany studies made your heart flutter, as you wanted to get to know him. It didn’t help that you would ask Cyno for advice or if you could meet Tighnari and be alone with him. Cyno started to become paranoid as he wanted you to be interested in him. He often sent his underlings to spy on you, and report to him on information. One day, you wanted to see Tighnari, as you brought flowers but there was only Cyno. In that moment, seeing you dressed up for Tighnari, he snapped. He walked up to you and pinned you against the wall. "What is so good about that disgusting fox? What about me? I can be anything you want me to be, yet...Why do you like Tighnari.."

He refused to let you go, as he held you in his arms tightly. He trapped you in his house, chained to the wall, as he forced you to give him attention. He would fight you everyday for your attention and favor, and sometimes even force it. He would force your hands to be on his bare chest, he would force kiss you. Pin you down to the ground and kiss you until you give in and kiss him back. That was the truth you loved him, wasn’t it? You were just playing hard to get. The forced you to be taken care of by him, however, one day you realized. This was your life, you had no family coming for you, and your job was probably replaced by another person. Your purpose was now fighting to be free...but sometimes you are tired. You decided to give up, as you felt Cyno's hands washing the delicate parts of your body, pleading you to wash him back.

[rubikor]

at the feet of the statue

[keru0]

Christmas Fever

I've been writing this for like a week now...and I got sick yesterday so how fitting! I don't know what it is but sick fics are just so cute and fun to write! Hope you all enjoy! Also if it isn't clear by the title, this is a Christmas fic, a Sick fic, and a modern au!!!

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Ships/Pairings: Xiao/Aether (Romantic), Childe/Zhongli (Romantic)

                              lee!Xiao, ler!Aether

Summary: Xiao is sick on Christmas, so Aether decides to cheer him up.

Contains: Sfw, Sick-fic, Fluff, Very Light Angst

Word Count: 2228

====================================

"Xiao? Are you awake?" Xiao's door slowly creaked open as Zhongli walked into Xiao's room in hopes to wake him for their early morning Christmas, just like every year. He's back from college for winter break and decided to bring his boyfriend, Aether, back with him since he doesn't have much family, which Zhongli and Childe were more than happy to agree to.

"Mmmph..." Xiao replied....or at least, Zhongli thought he did.

"Xiao, everyone's waiting in the living room. Aether seems particularly excited...do you want to go greet him? Xiao?" Zhongli walked closer to where Xiao was laying, on his bed, curled up into a ball, face and body covered by layers upon layers of blankets.

He was met with another grumble from Xiao who, now that Zhongli was looking a bit closer, realized that he seemed a little pink, or at least, what he could see of him seemed pink. "Xiao? Are you feeling alright?" Zhongli asked, sitting next to Xiao on his bed, sneaking his hand beneath the mound of blankets Xiao had made, putting his hand on his forehead.

"Oh, you're burning up. Don't worry about getting up, " Zhongli started. "I'll tell everyone that you've came down with something. Rest up...I'll send Aether to come check on you, okay?" Zhongli whispered, smiling down at his son when he mentioned Aether, knowing that he would be happy to spend time with his boyfriend.

"I'm fine," Xiao started, slowly removing himself from his bed, "M'not sick."

When Xiao stood up, Zhongli noticed him swaying on his feet...and then he started falling.

"I've got you." Zhongli said, catching Xiao on his way to the floor. "You need to stay in bed, okay? No one is going to be mad at you for being sick." He said softly, guiding Xiao back onto his bed.

Xiao tried to mumble out again, "But Aether...and Christmas," when Zhongli stopped him.

"Xiao, I'm sure he'll understand. I'll go tell him now." He smiled down, covering Xiao back up with his many blankets and slowly running his fingers through Xiao's hair as he sighed and relaxed into the touch.

Removing his hand, Zhongli got up from the bed and silently left the room, closing the door behind him with a soft "click".

Honestly, Xiao couldn't beleive what was happening. He never gets sick. There was this one time in highschool where almost his entire class was out with the flu, but Xiao didn't get it...and still had to go to school. He's still a little pissed about that.

Laying under his blankets, Xiao was left dissapointed, still believing that he let everyone down.

*     *     *

"He's sick?" Aether asked worried, pacing about the room. "How bad is it? Does he need medicine?" Ever since he and Xiao had met, Aether doesn't remember Xiao ever coming down with anything. He'd even taken care of Aether when he was sick, never getting the sickness that Aether had. So for Xiao to get sick...yeah, Aether was a little worried.

"Calm down, Aether." Zhongli soothed, smiling at him and motioning for Aether to sit beside himself. He put his hand on Aether's back as Childe sat down on the other side of Zhongli.

"Yeah, Aether," Childe said. "Don't worry too much, it's probably just the flu that's been going around. I had it last week."

Zhongli does not want to remember that. Childe had been a whimpering mess, always asking for Zhongli to do things for him and complaining that he ached, which Zhongli didn't mind at all. But he had been very demanding for physical touch, clingling to Zhongli like a lifeline, which meant that he could do very little to help him

"Yes," Zhongli replied, leaning into Childe, "he'll be alright. But...if you want to make him feel better, I'm sure he would enjoy your company, Aether. And if you do decide to go sit with him, take him a present or two. He should still open some, no?"

"Yeah," Childe added, "I'm sure getting his presents, along with your presence," Childe laughed at his own pun while Zhongli sighed and put his head in his hand, "would cheer him up. You can go now if you want to, I'm sure he's all bummed out right now and in need to some cheering up." he smiled at Aether, who was quick to stand up.

"Okay...so should I take all of these?" Aether asked, motioning to the many presents under the tree.

"No, just take one or two." Zhongli laughed. "But leave that one," he pointed to a small box, wrapped in red wrapping paper and a pretty bow. "Ajax and I want to see you both open it. It's a gift from us to the both of you." he smiled, Childe following suit.

Curious, Aether took only one present with him -- the one he got for Xiao. Approaching the door to his boyfriend's bedroom. "Xiao?" he asked, knocking gently. "Can I come in?" He heard a quiet grunt from inside.

Opening the door slowly, Aether entered the room, lit by a nightlight that was plugged into the wall. 'Right.' Aether thought, a warm smile appearing on his face, 'he's scared of the dark.'

One day when they were spending time together, Xiao had admitted that he was afraid of the dark. "I just...don't like not knowing, y'know?" he had said, which made sense to Aether.

Xiao likes to be in control most of the time, wanting to know everything that's happening. He isn't controlling in the way a bad partner would be, he's just scared. He's tried to be better, and Aether's helped him, but some things even Aether can't fix. Like, for instance, his fear of the dark.

Remembering this, Aether realized that this want for control was probably something Xiao was struggling with right now, not being able to do what he wants. 'Well,'  Aether thought, 'I can probably cheer him up then.'

Closing the door softly, Aether made his way over to his boyfriend's bed. "Xiao? Hey~" he said quietly, running his hand through his hair, Xiao peeking one of his eyes out of the covers. "I thought you'd like some company." Aether smiled.

"Noooo," Xiao whined, "you'll get sick."

"I'm going to anyway. Childe said you probably have what he had, so it's just a matter of time until I get it, so don't worry." Aether said softly, setting the present down on the floor and sitting next to Xiao's head, fingers still playing with his soft hair.

"You're dads wanted me to bring a present for you. Do you want to open it?" Aether questioned.

"Not really..." Xiao mumbled. "Could...could you open it for me? And I can watch?" Xiao asked, his eyes trying their best to be puppy-like so Aether couldn't say no.

"Okay." Aether sighed, smiling as he lifted a small-sized present onto his lap. "Ready?" he smiled at Xiao, who gave a small nod. Removing the wrapping paper, Aether pulled out a small bracelet with a butterfly charm. "I got this for you." Aether said, a giddy smile appearing on his face. "Remember when you made me that oragami butterfly for my birthday?" Xiao gave a small nod, "Well...it meant a lot to me, so I wanted to give you something similar. Like you said with the butterfly you gave me, this bracelet will ward off evil and bring good luck to you. Do you like it?"

Xiao poked his head out of the covers, a small smile appearing on his face, "I love it." he said, almost in disbelief that Aether had gotten something so thoughtful for him. "Thank you, Aether. It means a lot. I just..."

"Hm? W-what? Is there something you don't like?" Aether asked, worried.

"N-no no! It's just...my gift to you isn't anywhere as meaningful as this..." Xiao answered, dejected.

"Xiao, I don't care about what gift you got me. Just you getting one for me means a lot." he smiled. "And besides, I'm sure you got me a wonderful gift, even if you don't think you did." Aether giggled.

"It's...it's not just that, Aether..." Xiao said, tucking his face back beneath the sheets.

"What is it then? You can tell me." Aether said, putting the bracelet on Xiao's nightstand and carding a hand gently through his hair.

"I ruined Christmas."

"What?" Aether asked, confused. "Why do you think that, Xiao? You didn't ruin Christmas."

Xiao's words came out muffled under the blanket. "Yes I did. I got sick, and now you aren't going to open your presents, and we can't spend time together or go outside and do stuff. I ruined Christmas for you, Aether."

"What?" Aether said shocked. "No, no you didn't. This Christmas is already one of the best ones I've ever had, Xiao." Aether ran his fingers through Xiao's hair.

"I hope that's just your sick brain talking. You invited me into your home, introduced me to your dads, and you got me a present. You didn't ruin Christmas because you got sick, and you definatly didn't ruin it because the gift you got me "isn't good." You made this my favorite Christmas ever, Xiao. And don't think I'm just saying that." Aether said, poking Xiao through the blankets to make his point clear.

And he heard a squeak.

'A squeak?'  Aether thought. 'No way. Is he ticklish?' Aether's smile grew three sizes bigger, smirking, he asked his boyfriend, "Xiao? What was that~?"

Quickly burying his head deeper into the covers, Xiao let out a quiet, "N-nothing." from under the sheets.

"Xiao~ Are you ticklish~?" Aether smirked, laying down next to Xiao on his bed.

Xiao knew where this was going. He always knew where that question went. If he said yes, Aether would happily tickle him. If he said no, Aether would think he's lying and tickling him to find out. If he said nothing then Aether would tickle him anyway. This was a lose-lose-lose scenario, and Xiao didn't have the energy to answer.

Not hearing a response, Aether snuck his hands beneath the blankets and found Xiao's sides. Slipping his hands under his shirt to grab at his sensitive skin, he pulled Xiao closer to him, then began to lightly drag his fingers up and down his sides. "I didn't hear an answer, my love~ Are you, or are you not, ticklish...?"

All Xiao could let out was giggles, muffled by the blankets. "Mmphehehehe!" Aether gently tickling his sides was bad enough, but teasing? Xiao hated teasing. Well...hate is a strong word. It was flustering. Embarrassing. It made him feel like he was losing control. But then again...this was Aether, and he trusted him.

"Xiao~ I'm still not hearing anything~ Do you like this? Do you like me tickle tickle tickling your sides~?" While using one hand to continue tickling Xiao, Aether snuck his other hand by Xiao's head, slowly lifing the blankets away from his face. "Xiao~?"

"Nohohohoho!" Xiao giggled, small "hics" being let out with the giggles.

"Awww~ You don't like me tickling you? You don't like me tickling your sides? Hmm? Or is it something else? Xiao?" Aether teased.

"Nohohoho teasihihihing! Plehehehehease!" Xiao laughed, now burying his face into Aethers chest to muffle his giggles.

"You don't like me teasing you?" Aether teased again, dragging his fingers up to Xiao's armpits and quickly spidering them inside of them.

"Nohohohohoho! HAHAHAHAHAHA NOOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE! PLEHEHEhehease!" Xiao squealed, pressing his mouth shut and burying it as deep as he could into his boyfriend's chest.

"Oh? Bad spot? Are your pits a bad spot, Xiao?" Aether asked, moving his hands as he was asked, and instead deciding to lightly clawing at Xiao's bare tummy under his shirt, his nails dragging from his hips to just under his sternum, occasionally circling around and diving into his belly button. "Did you ruin Christmas, Xiao?"

"EEEEhehehehe! Nohohoho! Nohohoho I dihihidn't!" Xiao laughed, Aether's fingers still wreaking havoc on his sensitive tummy. "Plehehehease stohohohop! Plehehehe-" Xiao was cut off by a coughing fit.

Aether was quick to stop once his sensitive boyfriend started coughing, moving his hands to rub circles on his back. "Ah! Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Xiao! I forgot that you were sick for a second."

Coming out of his coughing fit, Xiao snuck his hands around Aether, sqeezing him into a tight hug. "I'm okay....Thank you, Aether." Xiao whispered into Aether's chest.

"Hm? For what?"

"For making me...feel...better."

With those words, Aether went to say more, when he heard soft snores coming from under his chin, Xiao fadt asleep, arms and legs tangled together.

*     *     *

"Zhoingli, look how cute they are!" Childe and Zhongli were looking through Xiao's bedroom door that they cracked ipen to check on the boys. It had been a few hours, so they just wanted to make sure they were okay, and to see if they needed anything.

"Shhh. Quiet, Ajax. They are quite cute, cuddled together, aren't they?" Looking at Xiao's bed, they could see two boys, cuddled together in the soft light of the nightlight, a bracelet sitting on the nightstand.

"Take a picture, Zhongli!" Childe whispered.

Zhongli took out his phone, taking a picture of the peacefully sleeping boys through the cracked door, quietly shutting it and going to the sofa with Childe, cuddling together and sipping the cocoa Childe had made. Perhaps this Christmas wouldn't be so bad for Xiao after all.

[belovedkaveh]

(my fave) Genshin Impact ships as love tropes

CyoNari - Friends to lovers (other friends set them up bc they can't keep watching them)

ZhongChi - Soulmates (slowburn with a happy end)

KazuScara - One fell first, the other one fell harder (angst in which Scara accepts his feelings for Kazuha too late and loses him to someone else)

KazuHei - Destined to be (Kazuha realizes it's been Heizou the whole time)

HaiKaveh - Opposites attract (fluff/angst/hurt/comfort)

ThomaLuc - Highschool lovers to friends (fluff to break up, still friends

AyaThoma - Second chance love (both meet each other at a low point in life and fall in love pretty fast and hard)

IttoRou - Idiots to lovers (crack & fluff, both are idiots and no one is ready to make the first move)

ChiLuc - Enemies to lovers (do I need to say more?)

[xxsilver-ashxx]

A list of all my fics on ao3 at the moment. These are all the fics I currently have released. Feel free to read as you please, but please do read the tags and warning as some may be slightly sensitive to some people. Love in a thousand chances, the rewritten and original, are the only ones that heavily are a read at your own discretion. Please read the tags and warning before reading.

The first one is never going to be finished as I am rewriting it, so don’t expect updates on it.

The others are being finished:

[rrcenic]

zhongli canonically suffering from erosion is always in the back of my mind.

[lua-miyuki]

Punishment [2/?] | ZhongChi

TW: self-harm, blood

Childe barely fed himself. His body was weak and he hated his condition, but his wounds were healing slowly and the threatening shadow of the punishment that awaited him was far away.

His survival was his priority.

Zhongli was often at his bedside. Childe knew the features of his face by heart, but couldn't help drinking in the vision his presence offered. As he closed his eyes, hem saw again the gentleness of his gaze and the pursing of his lips as he changed his bandages, and watched the slow pace of his recovery.

Childe watched him, but never spoke to him. And when their eyes met, he looked away.

Childe could no longer hide his feelings for Zhongli from himself, but he couldn't forgive him either.

But Zhongli knew Childe very well. And the day he dreaded arrived early. Zhongli had just changed his bandages, but instead of leaving, he stayed. His insistent gaze foraged his profile and Childe stubbornly stared at the wall.

"Childe. You're an intelligent man. Sometimes too smart for your own good."

A finger caressed his bandaged arm and a shiver ran through the young man.

"I see what you're trying to do. It's time for this childishness to stop."

Childe clenched his teeth, feeling them grind against each other before turning his head towards him and charging headlong into the confrontation.

"Staying locked up here is punishment enough in itself!" he hissed angrily. "I'm far from my family, can't go out, and far too weak to get up and pee on my own! You're my punishment!"

Zhongli frowned.

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't understand! You're taking care of me! You brush aside my hair as it falls over my eyes so fucking gently! And all for what? To receive all this forethought only to be punished like a dog behind! You give me a fucking carrot so you can beat me better!"

His voice climbed a notch and Childe straightened up, his dull blue eyes shining with a rage that overflowed.

"I was only serving my country!"

Zhongli pursed his lips and Childe wanted to scream.

"You disappoint me, Childe. I thought you were more mature than that."

"I'm only human, Zhongli! Don't ever forget that! I'm a human being full of flaws and emotions! I can't silence them for your beautiful eyes and your stupid contracts to a country that isn't mine!"

A bitter laugh skimmed his throat and Childe tilted his head slightly, an evil smile stretching his lips.

"And what will you do, O great Archon? Force me to get better?"

Zhongli returned a few days later with the court physician. Childe's gaze pierced the god as the physician observed his wounds. And when the doctor and Zhongli stepped aside to talk in hushed tones, his knuckles trembled under the pressure of his fists.

Zhongli was checking his physical condition. For punishment. The shadow of what lay ahead threatened to engulf him.

Childe brought his wrist to his mouth and, without ever taking his eyes off Zhongli's back, sank his teeth into his flesh.

Pain ripped through his body and blood gushed between his lips, his pulse pounding wildly, but he resisted and his teeth plunged even deeper. His eyes were blurred by tears and the taste of iron made his head spin. But he resisted again and again, and his teeth plunged a little deeper.

"CHILDE!"

Zhongli immobilized him against the blood-stained mattress, his heart pounding, panic threatening to make him tremble.

"Heal him! Quickly!" he shouted to the doctor, who was looking eagerly at the open wrist.

And Zhongli's eyes widened in horror as he watched Childe. The young man gave him a bloody smile. A smile that didn't reach his tired-rimmed eyes, a tear sliding down his temple.

Written on January 25th, 2024

You can support me through my Ko-Fi page ✨

[sacrificialsquid15]

*Me listening to sad, break up songs*

Friend: Oh my! Who broke your heart?

Me: *stares menacingly at my favorite ship*

[onyx232323]

An Adeptus' Last Wish- Zhongchi fic

(1/30)

More chapters here!<3333

Summary-

After the Gnosis incident, Childe decides to take a much-needed break away from Zhongli.

However, how was he supposed to react, when all of a sudden Lumine showed up outside his apartment sounding terribly mortified, "Childe......Zhongli.......Zhongli....is in grave danger."

Of course, he was going to do anything to help the dying man.

Sure, he still felt a lot of contempt for him, after what he did, but his heart still loved him.....

But, what he hadn't expected was the sudden wisp of golden light that somehow transported him during the times of the Archon War?!

What the FUCK?!

_________________________

Chapter 1: A Bitter Beginning

Childe’s days went by, and soon enough the memory of molten gold eyes and flowing dark hair were gone. They were no longer sweet memories that he hoped to take back with him to Snezhnaya, instead they were bittersweet and left a lonely feeling in his chest. 

Zhongli had walked into his repetitive existence with a simple handshake and a smile, “Greetings, I’m Zhongli, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Consultant. It appears that I will be your guide from here on out.” 

As he gazed into those entrancing eyes, those warm molten eyes…...he knew that he didn’t stand a chance. 

He tried to contain the occasional flutter of his heart; like a sick staccato meant to mock him. He tried to ignore the warmth he felt when Zhongli would gaze at him with a fond soft expression. He tried to ignore the subtle touches on his hand or back that would cause his brain to malfunction. He tried to ignore the way he would want to take all of Zhongli’s laughs and smiles all for himself. He tried to ignore the way he wanted the man, so desperately, even if he knew he could never. 

They were only supposed to be business partners and nothing else. 

But, even so, Childe allowed the foolish part of his brain to trick him into letting his guard down and even encouraging him to feel such emotions. For the first time in a long while, he felt as if he could trust this encyclopedia of a man. 

Tartaglia obviously opposed this, being conditioned to fight and guard his inner most sensitive parts.

Don’t do it, you’ll only get hurt…..were only words that Childe chose to ignore, preferring to indulge himself in the warmth of Zhongli’s eyes. 

He knew it should’ve been a trap; something too good to be the truth. 

He had seen the Traveler running into the Golden House, and so, with his own curiosity overtaking him, he followed. 

___________________________

It was a mistake.

One that he wished he could take back. 

He had decided to hide behind the entrance of the Golden House, and decided to eavesdrop instead.

La Signora was talking with someone…..and she had called them Morax…

Morax replied….and was that Zhongli?!

He rushed in, and his stomach dropped. 

Zho-No-Morax was handing his Gnosis over to La Signora, “A contract to end all contracts.”

La Signora’s facial expressions changed from an already arrogant smile to a venomous grin, she had noticed his presence there, and knew…..

That was one of the things he hated about La Signora (besides her whole existence of course). She was annoyingly perceptive; she could tell from a mile away what his facial expression indicated. 

It was the face of bitter betrayal. 

He was confused for a minute, he couldn’t believe what was happening, “What is the meaning of this? What’s going on?” 

La Signora’s smile seemed to grow even more, to the point where it was downright inhumane, “It seems our dear Tartaglia is quite confused, wouldn’t you say Morax?”  She gestured towards Morax who remained still. 

Childe’s confusion then turned into unbridled rage, " Quit your fucking games, Signora! What the hell is going on here!” 

La Signora burst into laughter, further fueling the embarrassment he now felt. Morax remained silent, only occasionally guiltily switching his gaze from Childe to the floor.  

“It is exactly what it seems.....While you were caught up in your arrogance and having fun playing the villain card, you were too ignorant to see what was under your nose the whole time. You were never supposed to retrieve the Gnosis. Our Tsaritsa simply sent you out, as a distraction of sorts…I mean come on, Tartaglia…it was to be expected. After all, I was always the one to get things done, that’s why the Tsaritsa personally requested me to babysit you.” 

Tartaglia shook with rage, barely holding back the angry tears that threatened to spill down his face, “..Signora!” 

He threw himself at her. Without thinking, the irrational part of his brain took control of him. However, even he knew that he was no match for Signora, not right now at least. He had just fought the Traveler with the Foul Legacy. He was outmatched and it only showed, when she easily sidestepped his punch, laughing all the while. 

“Now, now, Tartaglia, you aren’t being fair. I’m not the one you should be mad at, the man who betrayed you is standing right in front of you.....It’s not like I was the one who forced him to give up his gnosis, he willingly agreed to it.” 

Childe stilled, and finally turned to hold Zhongli’s guilt ridden expression, he could tell she was telling the truth…his heart shattered.

He had suffered great humiliation and shame all for the sake of one man alone…who wasn’t even a mortal man.

It was stupid, he was stupid. 

Why couldn’t he have seen what was clearly in front of his eyes the whole entire time? Zhongli knew too much about Liyue’s history to simply be a mortal man, he could have also sworn his hair glowed in the dark (but Childe only chalked it up to be the trick of his eyes or the light). He had played Childe perfectly like a guzheng; he was only another pawn for his own benefit. 

Childe allowed himself to be strung along with the soft smiles and long nightly conversations under the starry sky. He allowed himself to be fooled by such a beautiful person. He had willingly been seduced by a siren; knowing he was going to be eaten in the end. 

He had played an unpredictable game called love, and he had lost. 

He hurried out of there, only Lumine and Paimon’s worried voices called out to him.

La Signora could tell the flash of misery in Morax’s gaze but didn’t comment on it, and instead almost commended his effort to appear unphased for the rest of their conversation. The Traveler and Paimon looked wide-eyed and almost pitiful as they stared the direction from where Childe had run out of. 

Signora almost felt bad for her heartbroken lovesick co-worker…...almost. 

_______________________

After the humiliation that was the whole Gnosis situation, Childe decided to spend the rest of his time in Liyue stuck in his apartment and occasionally taking out his frustrations on nearby Hilichurl camps…sometimes even Ruin Guards…

To be honest, he practically took out his anger and hurt feelings onto anything that crossed his path. To the point where occasionally exhaustion overtook him and he would pass out in the middle of the forest, only to then wake up floating in water. 

His heart had not expected Zhongli to walk into his life. 

Up until that point, his life had the same routine: Wake up, go on a mission, kill, rinse, repeat. 

He was the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard after all. 

That was almost something he was especially ordered to do, on a regular basis. He had no time to consider his own feelings, or take others into consideration. That wasn’t something he had time for, in his line of work. Even spending time with his family had become a mission in itself. He had to charm people with his boyish charm, and then kill them afterwards. It was the same for every mission. 

The stupid idea of love and potentially settling down had never been a priority to him. 

It never has been and it will never be one. 

However, ever since he stared back into those cor lapis eyes, they seemed to drag him in; like a bug caught in a cobweb.

He was trapped before he knew it. 

Zhongli had single-handedly managed to rip him out of the mediocrity that was his life and had shown him what it felt like to be cared for and loved. Every single passing gaze, every light touch, every story, every smile......made him feel something. 

For the first time, ever since he had fallen into the Abyss, he felt like perhaps he was worthy enough to have a close relationship with someone. The void in his heart was finally going to get filled up with something as simple as human connection and he craved it. 

And occasionally he would day-dream about how a domestic life would be with Zhongli: would he hold him through his gut-wrenching nightmares, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, would he manage to understand him, love him for everything that he is, kiss him gently through his tears, propose to him one day during a day spent on the beach, would their marriage ceremony be as beautiful as he thought, would he trace over his scars lightly with his fingertips, would he call him gorgeous, would he love him even after they were old, would he treasure every last memory after he died? 

All of these childish thoughts were thrown out, as soon as the truth was figured out. 

The truth was; Zhongli never considered him a friend nor could he ever love him. The only reason he had gotten closer to Childe was because he saw him as a pawn in his twisted game of chess. He never saw him as anything more than a pawn. 

He was only a pawn, not a friend, not a lover, not an enemy. 

He was a pawn. 

Somehow, that information only managed to make his chest hurt even more, was he ever considered worthy enough to be Zhongli’s…...anything? 

He no longer felt the seething anger in his veins. After all, his anger was simply a cover up for the embarrassment he felt, which only served as a deeper cover up about how hurt he truly felt. 

However, even Childe knew he could not dwell on such stupid fleeting emotions; it was bound to happen.

Tartaglia had warned him, but he turned a blind eye to it all. 

He was the one who was wrong. 

_________________________

A month had passed, and Ajax was only counting the days after his departure from Liyue. He wanted to leave the burning humiliation and hurt behind in Liyue.

And hopefully never return to the dreaded city ever again. 

He watched as the people from outside of his apartment window passed and how joyful they looked. A sharp contrast to how miserable Ajax felt. 

He was almost jealous of how free they looked; was this the same feeling the Anemo Archon wanted for his people, because Ajax was envious. 

He tore his gaze from the window, and looked down to the unfinished letters from his newest letter to Tonia and Teucer. He had lost motivation to do anything, and according to Ekaterina, ‘went into a depression,’ whatever that meant.

He didn’t know what false stories to make up; what fantastical white-lies to make up from his trip as a ‘Toy Salesman’ in Liyue. The letter had only begun with: Dear Tonia & Teucer…

Before he had scribbled the rest of whatever he was beginning to write out; it was hopeless. 

He was hopeless, and he wanted to leave. 

However, he didn’t have time to hold onto self-pity before a knock rang out, startling him enough from his deprecating thoughts. A strange glimmer of desperation seemed to resurface from his bitter thoughts…was that? 

He ran towards the door, and opened it, in hopes to see a man dressed in black attire with golden accents, with those same molten eyes, and comforting baritone voice….only to meet a pair of concerned amber eyes….

Lumine? 

_____________________

Ajax slapped on Childe and smirked down at Lumine, “Oh, hey! Fancy seeing you here, are you finally ready for a rematch?”

Lumine stared up at Childe, as if she wasn’t buying the fake pleasantries. Childe could never fool Lumine, not since he had met her. Nothing would ever slip by her.

However, instead of looking irritated or even angry (considering they had fought not even a month ago), she looked alarmed. Next to her, was Paimon, who similarly looked alarmed and…scared? 

What was going on? 

Lumine looked hesitant and parted her lips several times to speak, she looked terrified. 

Childe quirked his eyebrow, wondering what had caused Lumine to look like someone had died, “...What’s..wrong?” 

Paimon’s eyes began to flood with tears and soon enough they started to fall freely from her face. But, she didn’t say anything and instead chose to sob into Lumine’s shoulder. 

Lumine still looked hesitant and similarly had tears clinging to her eyelashes, “Childe...do you not know?”

Now, he was really confused? What didn’t he know? What the hell had happened ever since he was gone to elicit such a strong reaction from Lumine? 

Childe released a soft laugh, mostly out of nerves, “Know about what?” 

Lumine looked even more choked up, her eyes widening almost comically, “You really don’t know…Childe…...Zhongli…...Zhongli is in grave danger.” 

Now, it was Childe’s turn to be surprised. What the hell did she mean by grave danger? 

The last time he had seen the ex-archon, he seemed to be perfectly fine. In fact, he had seen him only 5 days ago, walking down the street smiling and laughing happily with Lumine and Xiangling?

What the hell changed? 

Was this some sort of sick joke? 

No, Lumine’s reaction seemed too real for that to be true. 

He felt his chest start to clench, and his own eyes start to burn; his nerves fully taking him over, “W-hat do you mean?”

Lumine wiped at her damp eyes with her sleeve, before straightening herself out, “He collapsed 3 days ago, and he’s….dying..” 

The full severity of the situation came crashing down onto Childe. 

The irony of the situation was too much to handle; of course the bastard had to start dying just when Childe was about to leave. Of course, just when he was starting to get over him. 

Childe remained silent for a minute, blinking back the rushing myriad of different conflicting emotions that danced around freely in his head. It was too much to handle, and suddenly he felt himself growing mad. 

Mad at himself, mad at Morax, mad at the world. 

Mad at everything.  

The cruel irony was too much, and he wanted to scream. 

But, he didn’t and instead looked back at Lumine, who only continued, “He’s inviting all of the people he cares for friends, acquaintances and family to talk with him one more time. And…he umm…asked for you…” 

Childe soaked in the new information; Zhongli had asked for him, personally. 

But, why? 

He nodded, Lumine continued, “He’s…..bedridden…..right now…and uhh..I-I..hope..you can..come.. I know things didn’t end on the best note, and I know this isn’t fair. But, he’s asked for you…and I promised him, I would bring you to him.” 

Lumine stared up at him, desperation clear in her gaze. Paimon was still sobbing into her shoulder, not even looking at Childe. 

He pushed aside his feelings, and nodded lightly; earning a soft watery smile from Lumine. 

_____________________

He looked worse than Childe had expected. 

Sure, he had seen his fellow fatui soldiers seriously injured in his lifetime; and had even been the one with the extreme injuries…but, this was a sight he wasn’t sure he could handle. 

Zhongli's usual golden eyes were tight shut, his complexion was eerily pale, and he looked fragile; like porcelain plates. He looked weak to the touch, so much so, that Childe almost couldn’t bring himself to touch him. 

This was the last place he would have thought he would meet up with Zhongli again. 

He never expected to see someone so radiant, on their deathbed. Someone who was supposed to be immortal and all-knowing, just what had happened. And, why was the terrible voice in the back of his head urging him to crack his neck between his fingers. 

Lumine had led him inside of Zhongli’s house, leading him towards his room (like he didn’t already know). Paimon still clinging onto her neck, sobbing not nearly as loud as before. 

Zhongli looked a mess, his hair was tangled, his eye bags were heavy, and he looked tired. A particular strand of hair was laying on the side of his cheek, and Ajax unconsciously tried to reach out to tuck it behind his ear. 

But, before he could do that, he was interrupted by a slap to his hand. 

He looked up and was met with similar molten eyes, but these looked like they could pierce through your very soul; it was Lumine’s friend…that green adeptus..

He eyed Childe up angrily, looking as if he was about to pierce his chest with that spear he carried in his other arm. If the situation was different, then perhaps, Childe would’ve challenged him to a spar, but for some strange reason, he didn’t. 

“Why the fuck are you here! Abyssal creature!” the adeptus yelled out, furious. 

Lumine immediately rushed to the adeptus’ side and put hands between the two of them, “Xiao…please..” 

Xiao looked conflicted as he looked between Lumine and Childe, not sure what to do. But, he didn’t do anything and instead looked away, looking somber himself, “I don’t know why you brought him here, he nearly drowned all of Liyue Harbor! He’s the reason…”  

He paused and looked towards Zhongli, before looking back with murderous intent evident in his eyes, “He’s the reason my lord managed to obtain that absurd disease!” 

What disease? What was he talking about? 

Lumine looked somberly towards Zhongli, “Xiao…please…Zhongli himself insisted on bringing him here, please .” 

Xiao huffed before he pointed his spear towards Childe, “Try anything funny, and I’ll cut your vocal cords out,” before he vanished into a puff of anemo. 

_____________________

Soon, after Xiao left, more of Zhongli’s adepti friends (family) came, all bringing gifts with them. 

The first one that came was Ganyu, she had brought a bracelet made from Qingce flowers and wrapped it gently around his fragile hand. She had spared a single glance towards Childe, but somehow it did not seem to hold any contempt like Xiao’s. Instead, it seemed to hold a look Childe could not place his finger on; that same look she had gave him the first time they had met.

She knelt by the side of his bed, and regularly felt his pulse, before another adeptus by the name of Madam Ping showed up. Ajax felt like the air in the room was suffocating him, and yet, he couldn’t leave yet. He had to wait until Zhongli woke up to tell him whatever he was supposed to. 

He felt like leaving, and he probably would have already done so, if not for Lumine being in the room. 

Madam Ping showed up soon enough, as well as 2 crane-like adeptus and a deer-like adeptus. 

Madam Ping looked at Childe with great sympathy in her gentle eyes and that same familiar gaze as Ganyu, “You must be Childe, I suppose.” 

Childe nodded, and instantly felt the stares of many adepti at once, which all looked at him with a different combination of stares. 

The tall blue-crane looked at him up and down and exclaimed, “So, this is the human our lord has chosen…the traitor who nearly caused Liyue harbor to sink? Our lord always had strange tastes." 

They all came to the same realization at the same time, and soon enough they started to eye him with the same contempt Xiao had. Another adeptus screeched out, “Our lord must be crazy, going for this one of all people!” 

They all seemed to agree, “Yes, yes, what the hell was our lord thinking! Even going as far as to contract this disease, all because of this human?” 

“Yes, this one can’t believe how blasphemous this whole situation is.” 

Madam Ping sighed, “We must respect our lord’s decision, we can’t argue like this. Especially when his body is under a lot of stress.” 

They all quieted down, but still eyed Childe with a burning hatred he was sure he had never seen before, “Ganyu, how are his meridians?” 

Ganyu looked up before she delicately placed his hand back down, “They are still intact but they are losing energy..”  Madam Ping made her way toward Zhongli before leaning down and taking his hand as well. She pressed her fingers against his wrist, and nodded, “Yes, that seems to be the case......The situation does not seem to be good.” 

Childe finally mustered up the courage to ask, what had been gnawing at his chest, “If I may ask.....what is wrong with him exactly?” 

His sentence seemed to cause great confusion if not outrage amongst the several adepti. However, they did not voice out their thoughts, and instead waited for Madam Ping to answer. 

She took a long breath before answering, “Rex Lapis or Zhongli as you know him, is suffering from a disease that debilitates the body and only affects archons. It does not have a name, but it is something we have been noticing within the first couple of archon’s whose gnoses have been ripped away from them. Now, normally, archon’s do not need their gnoses to survive, however, when faced with extreme stress and long periods of exposure to miasma or abyssal energy, they are corrupted. Without their gnoses they are rendered weak to the exposure long-term and will eventually perish if they do not have their gnoses. We wrote a letter to your Tsaritsa and requested to give his gnosis back, however.....it appears like his gnosis has vanished.” 

Childe was stunned.

Morax's gnosis vanished?! 

How?

He cleared out his throat before he said, “How was he exposed to miasma and abyssal energy? What happened to him?” 

“It’s my fault,” Lumine spoke, voice small and shaky, unlike the bold and serious voice she usually had. 

He turned around to look at her, waiting for her to continue, “....We were out completing the Adventurer’s Guild missions in Qingce Village, when....he suddenly got attacked by a horde of rift wolves. I tried to fend them off as best as I could but they kept coming out. I warned Zhongli against fighting them alone, but he told me to evacuate the rest of the villagers. I agreed and…”

Lumine looked down in shame and Childe almost wanted to give her a hug.

Madam Ping beat him to it, however, whispering reassuring words to Lumine; who had begun to cry silently, “....Calm down, child. It was not your fault, our Lord knew what he was getting himself into when he fought them. Do not blame yourself.” 

“It wasn’t your fault. It was his!” Xiao had appeared out of nowhere again, and similarly looked like he wanted to kill him, “If he hadn’t left my lord, then perhaps my lord wouldn’t have been so reckless.” 

Madam Ping turned towards him, and she must have had a terrifying expression because Xiao backed away from Childe, “Xiao, it is not his fault, please, quell your anger.....How many times do I have to remind all of you? We promised our Lord we would take care of him in his absence. It’s our duty as adepti to follow our Lord’s orders in his absence, we must respect his wishes and protect this mortal with our lives. After all.....that is our duty.” 

All of the adepti nodded, as if they had been reprimanded like children.

However, Xiao was still an unruly child and still refused, “I understand that, Madam Ping. However, you did not see my lord after this abyssal scum left him! He looked eerily lost and did things he had never done before, just like all those years ago....I tried to reason with him, but he was too far off. And then, he did that reckless move and got himself endangered. How can you say I can’t blame him!” 

The room fell silent, but it was all interrupted by a soft cough. 

Zhongli had awoken. 

_______________

All of a sudden, the adepti surrounded him, all looking terribly concerned and distantly somber. Zhongli looked joyful despite his sickly appearance, and regarded them with the most beautiful of smiles, “Cloud Retainer, Mountain Shaper, Moon Carver, Adeptus Xiao, Madam Ping, Ms. Lumine, I’m glad to see you here.” 

Thankfully, Zhongli had not noticed a certain fiery haired man yet. 

Cloud Retainer pecked at Zhongli’s head, careful to not cause him actual harm, “This one is very cross with you. How could you have fought all of those beasts without calling for us, do you consider us as being below your abilities now? This one may be old, but one still has their combat abilities.” 

Zhongli chuckled lightly, “I do not doubt your abilities, Cloud Retainer…I was not thinking, when I did it. And I hope you all can forgive me for my reckless actions.” 

Cloud Retainer sighed heavily and patted his head gently, “One guesses one can forgive you.” 

Ganyu smiled and stood up, “What she means is that she has been worried sick about you my lord.” 

Cloud Retainer immediately begins to start poking Ganyu, “Insolent child, don’t you dare speak against your elders!” 

She eventually calmed down and placed a small incense burner in the shape of Rex Lapis and it started to produce a very pleasant smell, like sandalwood and silk flowers. Zhongli's usual preferred perfume that Ajax committed to memory every time he smelled the familiar scent on the nearby perfume stalls. He figured that Cloud Retainer had brought the familiar scent in order to calm him down. He had experienced for himself how calming that aroma could be, "This one brought some incense to help lessen the aroma of the dead in here." 

Zhongli chuckled heartily (although the other Adepti seemed scandalized by her statement, but did not say a word about it). His eyes seemed to display a certain fond warmness that Ajax selfishly hoped he would be the subject of once more, "Thank you, Cloud Retainer. You have been a great friend and have served Liyue and it's people well." 

She huffed and stepped aside, murmuring something ineligible, allowing for the other adepti to give out their gifts. Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper then stepped up and set down a pot of what appeared to be Bamboo Shoot Soup.

Zhongli’s favorite, Ajax remembered. 

Moon Carver spoke up first, “My Lord, we hope you will like what we have brought you. We will promise to protect him, with all of our might......Even if he is quite unsavory.” 

Zhongli stared fondly at them before he smiled, “Thank you Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper. I really appreciate it.” 

Then, it was Xiao’s turn to give Zhongli something, it was a vile of pain medicine (Childe had recognized the bottle immediately, Zhongli had once explained to him that the medicine is only meant to be used for injuries in Adepti, much to Childe’s dismay.) 

“My Lord, I have brought some medicine for you.....I hope it will bring my Lord some relief from the pain he must feel.”

Zhongli nodded and patted Xiao’s hand with the only mobility he had left in his hands, “Thank you, my Vigilant Yaksha, you have served me well.” 

Xiao nods, though he looks slightly sheepish.

Zhongli turns towards Lumine, who still has red rimmed eyes, “Ms. Lumine, I appreciate all you have done for me, thank you.” 

Lumine shakes her head, “No, I haven’t done anything to deserve appreciation. However.....I did complete the thing I......promised you.” 

Zhongli’s eyes widen and he almost stands up in his bed way too fast, he clenches his teeth in sharp pain. Xiao immediately comes to his side, already pulling the cap off of the medicine and pouring it onto a spoon, “My Lord, please, have some of this.” 

Zhongli complies and takes the medicine before he glances over to where Childe is standing awkwardly, “Ajax…you have come..” 

All of a sudden, he is the center of attention once more and he can feel the stares of the other adepti boring into him, “...Yeah..” 

He tensely walks towards Zhongli, and begrudgingly the other adepti allow him to go by Zhongli’s side. Zhongli’s gaze grows guilty and his eyes water with unshed tears, “My dearest Ajax, I seem to have hurt you deeply.....When I made that contract with La Signora, I never thought that I would grow to cherish and love our time together. I never thought I would grow as close to you, as I did. I never meant to hurt you, but I had to make a choice. Either my own heart, or Liyue’s people. It has been the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, but I had to choose my people. I am.....truly sorry, I should have never lied about my true identity, but with the contract already in motion......I could not turn back what was already sealed in stone.....However....I hope you will be able to forgive me,” he looked at Ajax with soft glowing tears leaving his somber eyes. 

Childe let out a shaky breath, “This is......really unfair Zhongli. You know, normally I would have challenged you to a duel, in order to settle any bad blood between us. But, with you being in the state you are in, I can’t. I-I still haven’t forgiven you. You lied to me and used me as a pawn Zhongli, do you have any idea how hurt I felt after the whole situation. But, I don’t want you to die. Why couldn’t you have at least waited until I got over my anger? It’s…really unfair Xiansheng.” 

Ajax feels his eyes begin to water as soft tears begin to fall out of his eyes onto the soft silk sheets below, leaving behind small round imprints on the covers. 

Zhongli looked distraught as he brought a soft hand to Ajax’s cheek, brushing away the tears, “I am.....truly and irrevocably sorry. I know it is not fair to you my dearest treasure and I wished that I could have given you more time to fully process the weight of my identity and...continued on our path.......However, I-....I can not do anything to stop what is happening inside of my body.....I am dying and my Gnosis has disappeared with no trace of it anywhere in Teyvat......I can not prevent what is destined to happen. I wish I could have been better towards you my dearest, I am so sorry.” 

Ajax begins to cry harder and he no longer cares for the mild embarrassment he feels from all of the surrounding adepti watching him.

His tears fall freely now, like a cruel but sweet cascade. 

___________________________

Ajax doesn’t know when he left.

After Zhongli had stroked his cheeks a couple of more times, something in him seemed to snap, and he suddenly yanked away Zhongli’s gentle calloused hands. 

He couldn’t be there any longer, he couldn’t sit there and cry his heart out, while the god loved so much died of some stupid disease that did not have a cure. He went on a rampage and ran towards the nearest forest and killed whatever he could find.

It no longer mattered. 

Just before Childe could forgive the man, just when he was starting to heal and move on from him. 

He just had to begin to die? 

It seemed too cruel to name and soon enough his tears mixed with blood. 

Whose blood, he didn’t know, nor did he care. His ears were ringing and his mind was floating; it no longer seemed to matter. He wanted to scream out and curse the world. He wanted to scream at himself, when the person he loved the most was in danger, he was too busy moping around by some stupid betrayal that nearly didn’t even count as one. 

It was unfair. 

All he could hear now was the crushing of bones and warm blood that splashed his face. He sat down the nearest tree he could find, away from the trail of blood he had left behind on the once clean grass. He rested his tired body against it, and tried to not let himself sob too loudly. 

However, he was unsuccessful and soon enough, he started to bawl just like he did at 14 years old when he first fell down The Abyss. He was the same scared child who wanted it all to be a terrible nightmare and closed his eyes in an attempt to block out his surroundings, but was scared when he opened them and they were still there. 

He cried and cried and cried, until there were no more tears left to be shed, and he curled up against the tree and closed his tired eyes.

Perhaps, if he tried hard enough, it would be a dream?

A terribly twisted dream.

_____________________________

“Would you be willing to.....save Morax?......I wish to save him, can you do that for me, Ajax?” A distant sweet voice called out. 

Ajax nodded, tiredly opening his eyes to notice a woman standing right before him; dressed in qixiong ruqun, her long brown hair flowing down, her smile gentle. He wasn’t sure who this mysterious woman was, but he sensed a strange feeling of warmth when she was around, and he wanted to somehow chase that comforting feeling. 

She laughed lightly before he patted his head, “All right then. Save him for me, Ajax.”  

He was about to ask how, when she touched his forehead lightly, and all of a sudden; Childe could not see anything else but a bright golden light surrounding him. 

When he came to, the light was gone, and in its place was a place he did not recognize; as well as a set of familiar golden molten eyes staring curiously at him. 

Where was he?  

(More chapters on AO3, under the name: Onyx_23!)

[suzunara]

I love Zhongli who leaves gifts like a bouquet of flowers or maybe trinkets for Ajax after the Osial incident.

Ajax who felt touched by Zhongli's attempts at forgiveness and courting, but he doesn't know how to respond back just as impactful.

A week later, Zhongli found a letter at his office from Ajax.

And oh~ how Zhongli still remembers the light scent of Ajax's familiar perfume from his homeland, sticking on the paper like airy honey.

And the content of Ajax's letter that's etched in his mind for centuries to come.

"To Zhongli

I hope this letter finds you well. First, thank you so much for all the gifts you delivered to the Northland Bank, specifically to my office (according to Ekaterina's words)

I love it so much Zhongli, you have no idea how much it means to me.

I'm still not ready to see you right now, but please remember this—

I love you.

- Ajax"

Zhongli would gladly wait even thousands of years for Ajax.

If it's Ajax? He would do anything.

[angelspigeon]

MERETRIX AUGUSTA - Chapter 01

Ship: Zhongchi

Rating: M

TW: Abuse (not between zhongchi) ; forced prostitution

CW: FTm! Childe ; Mafia Dragon!Zhongli

Summary:

“How many people are allowed to see you like this?” “I could tell you it’s different with you,” Tartaglia said. “But the easiest way to fix this problem would be to pay every of my nights?” “This is very tempting.” Zhongli knew he was paying for him, but he imagined there was more than this. It was like band-aid on his heart, to prevent it to crack, to admit this was nothing but extortion. Or an exchange of good practice. “For now, you will be mine. And mine only.” Tartaglia wrapped his arms around Zhongli’s shoulders. “I’m yours, Dragon.” “I could devour you,” Zhongli teased. “Please, do,” Tartaglia cooed.

----------------------

Luxury escort, Tartaglia meet many clients. None of them have importance for him, until he makes the mistake to fall for one of them. Zhongli they call him.

One has been raised in the streets, fighting to survive; the other has made chaos his home. Ajax is married, forced to prostitution and hiding a secret no one can here. Not even himself. Zhongli is Morax, a lost draconic deity, walking in a world no one must hear about. Who will have to let their secret fall first in the name of love...

You can read it > here <

If you wanna already read the 9 next chapter you can read them on Patreon or Kofi

Amazing cover art done by @enesfwee

[archonsoflove]

I Lie Awake In The Night Just To See Another Dawn

After a million years, I return with a new series! I've always wanted to write a series with politics, romance and war so HERE WE GO!

You can find the first two parts HERE