#zero zip nada in canon for people to work with

[reedeemable]

Being a Gavin hater must be funny as hell cause imagine sitting there and being like “I hate this character, he’s a dick but he’s just a tertiary antagonist with not much screen time so I won’t really see much of him” and then reed900 exists 😂

[victoria-daydreams]

Loki did not queerbait. A bisexual person ending up with someone of the opposite gender isn’t queerbaiting. Some of you just ran with a rumor a journalist made up to get clicks and it worked. There wasn’t the slightest hint that Loki and Mobius would be a thing in the show or from the producers. Just because Loki does not present the way you want doesn’t mean you were cheated out of anything.

I honestly don’t see the appeal of Lokius either. There was no romantic chemistry between them at all. Zip. Zero. Nada. They literally breathed the same oxygen for .02 seconds and people were ready to ship them. They have better chemistry as a buddy-cop duo.

I personally don’t care who you ship, I’m just tired of people using the word “queerbaiting” when their ship doesn’t become canon.

Also, one last thing, this whole “selfcest” thing literally boils down two things, one being what I said already above and two being misogyny. The hate that Sylvie is receiving is because a female presenting character is “getting in the way” of your mlm ship. “Selfcest” wouldn’t be a problem if Loki kissed a male variant of himself. This fandom would’ve been rejoicing it and completely change their tune about how they feel about the finale. Which to be honest, the Loki finale was the best one out of WandaVision and Falcon and The Winter Soldier.

I should also state that “selfcest” is not real and never will be. It’s fictional. And to try to compare it to incest, which is very real and very harmful is insulting.

Lastly, for the love of god, if you don’t like the ship just say that. Some of you are just trying to find something that makes you upset so you can call Sylki “problematic”. Please stop with the moral panic, “selfcest” is not a concept that can be applied to real life.

[ura-writes]

Trampolinist - Part Two

Part summary: You encounter a few strange teenagers, discover blown-up ruins, and find out about who caused them.

Warnings: mild anxiety, thoughts of murder, blood, threats, lots of swears

A/N - I got a good few requests asking for a taglist for Trampolinist, so here it is! Just ask and you shall be added!

@lemonmochitea

@dad-ee-drea

@victoria-a567

Also, this is non-canon compliant, but only by a bit. I may change a few small details.

Hope y’all enjoy!

(Also, if you can find the movie reference I put in here, then kudos to you!)

——

A lingering curiosity sits in the back of your head for the rest of the week, not quelled by any amount of Bedwars or Skywars, which leave you exhausted in the evenings.

Even your dreams hold inquisitiveness.

How lovely.

Eventually you have to go back to your home world to check on your animals, repair your tools and the like. It’s tedious work, but nothing you can’t handle.

Boredom eventually sets in.

It’s unnerving. You never get bored of combat, of competition between your fellow players and teammates, but here you are, eyeing the list of servers on your grid.

Only two people are on the server at the moment, their names not available for whatever reason. You’d prefer to pop on when there were no people online, mostly to scope out the server, but you’ll take only having to deal with two people.

Hopefully they’re adults and not kids that recently learned to use portals.

You stick your pointer finger out, curl it like you’re dragging it down a wall; a ripple starts where your finger lands, slowly following its path downwards. It rips a hole through the fabric of woven servers, creating a direct link to the Dream SMP. You just hope that no one attempts to close the portal, as opening one in the first place takes a good deal of energy and effort.

A sight of spruce trees and misplaced dirt greets your vision through the rip in reality.

An odd spawnpoint, but whatever. You’re not one to judge.

In the corner of your eye, where chat normally sits, a message pops up.

TommyInnit: who the fcuck

TommyInnit: what

TommyInnit: NEWY PERFHSAON

Ranboo: ah yes, perfhsaon

TommyInnit: shut the fuck n up

You chuckle at the messages rapidly crowding the chat, watching them fade idly while trying to find a way out of the really weird spawnpoint, which is, for some reason, walled off by a combination of dirt, wood and stone haphazardly placed down, as if in a hurry.

Your efforts do not go unrewarded as you spot a section of the wall that sits lower than the rest, low enough to climb over if you try hard enough.

Perfect.

Feet hit the ground rapidly as you get a running start towards the wall, scrambling upward after you jump. You fall almost immediately off the other side.

“Ouch.”

“That looked like that hurt.”

You glance upward to meet heterochromic eyes, red and green contrasting with the curious face split in half by its black and white sides. A tail flicks behind the person as their crown slips a bit down their head.

“Wh—the fuck?”

The figure laughs at your reaction, offering a gloved hand out to help you off the ground. Hesitantly, you accept, being pulled up easily, and that’s when you realize that he’s a lot taller than you thought.

“Jesus, you’re tall,” you comment idly, brushing yourself off. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem. I’m Ranboo.”

You introduce yourself with your tag, which elicits a hum of recognition from him, much to your pleasant shock and surprise.

“You’re the person that Dream invited, aren’t you?”

“In the flesh.”

He laughs at your quip at him, smiling with sharp fangs exposed to the midday sunlight. No point in judging a person on their (potentially, anyway) monstrous features.

“Well, you probably need a tour—“

He’s quickly interrupted by a loud “hey!”

“Oh great,” you mutter, crossing your arms. Ranboo looks a bit sheepish at your cocked eyebrow and slightly irritated expression, scratching his bi-colored hair.

“That’s Tommy. He’s uh… well, Tommy.”

A teenager wearing a red and white shirt and jeans with battered sneakers comes sprinting out of the nearby forest, coming to a halt just in front of you.

“New person!”

“Yeah, and what are you, the gremlin that got fed after midnight?”

The kid sputters out a few protests against being called a gremlin, sprinkling a good few swears in his jumbled sentences that mostly consist of rambles.

When Tommy gets his bearings, he eyes your tag, squinting at it suspiciously before his eyes widen in recognition.

“You’re the bastard that beat the shit out of me in Bedwars! Get ove’ here—“

One of Ranboo’s arms shoots out to grab the lanky teenager with ease to stop his potential assault on you. You just brush your nails off on your shirt.

“Oi! Lemme a’em!”

“No, Tommy, remember what Tubbo said?” Ranboo lectures, tail flicking in annoyance, eyes trained on him. “Remember?”

“You’re one to talk about rememberin’.”

Ranboo cocks an eyebrow.

“No punchin’ people we don’t know unless they’ve hurt us…” Tommy grumbles. “Can ya lemme go now?”

Ranboo agrees, letting go of his shirt and summoning a journal and quill to write something down in, muttering that he’s almost out of ink.

“Anyway, how about that tour now?”

You smile at him.

Maybe you’ll like this place.

——

“...and this is L’Manburg… or what’s left of it, anyway. It’s still being rebuilt.”

“How’d it get destroyed?” you ask him. “It takes a lot of TNT, Withers and dedication to destroy a city this big.”

I should know.

Tommy eyes Ranboo.

“Hey, it’s your city. I’m not explaining it,” Ranboo defends against the wordless accusation. Tommy exhales with a groan and begins his explanation.

“Wil-Wilbur, my brother, went a bit insane a few months back, blew it all up with Technoblade’s help. Wil’s… well, he’s dead.” Tommy sounds indifferent about the death, much to your surprise.

You nod absentmindedly, setting your eyes on a slightly obscured poster that flaps in the wind. When you get close enough to pin it down it reads:

Wanted: Dead or Alive. High Treason, Inciting Violence, Unlawful Use of Explosives, Extreme Terrorism.

Reward: See Authorities

Below that is a well-painted picture of a man you somewhat recognize, wearing a red cape, a crown, full enchanted Netherite armor and carrying an axe that seems to shimmer in the light.

Technoblade. You’ve had a few run-ins with him playing Bedwars and Skywars, even teaming up with him a few times. He always seemed nice enough, and certainly a damn good sword fighter. He always knew when to run and when to stand and fight, when to attack and when to defend.

“What did he do?”

Ranboo starts to speak, but Tommy interrupts him.

“Blew the rest o’ this place up. Bastard ran after that.” Tommy all but spits the words out of his mouth, like they’re acid or venom. “Fookin’ coward.”

Well, I wouldn’t call ‘knowing when to run’ cowardice, but we’ll pretend I agree, child.

“No one knows where he is now,” Ranboo adds. “Except Phil, of course. But he’s pretty much silent about it. Won’t give up a word of information.”

Shouldn’t be that hard to find one man, you muse to yourself. Bet I could.

“Well, I’ll let you know if I find anything out,” you lie with a smile plastered on your lips. “Y’know, as a sort of gift to you as the newest member of the server.”

Hah, as if.

“We’ll hold you to that.”

You nod and say your goodbyes, walking towards the central nether portal while keeping an eye out for an ender chest so you can get some of your stuff. You know the admin will take your elytra away if it so much as comes into contact with the server’s air, so you decide not to risk it.

Spotting one, you make a small noise of triumph and dart over there, grabbing the shulker with your stuff in it, transferring it to your inventory with a practiced ease.

Armor adorns your figure, enchanted Netherite striking an imposing silhouette against the blackstone beneath your feet. You twirl your sword with a grin.

Now to find Technoblade.

——

Turns out, finding a piglin hybrid is not easy.

You scoured the Nether for any sign of him, any trace of fabric, of a broken pickaxe, hell even a piece of iron he may have held. The ability you hold as a Jumper not only allows you to jump servers, but also allows you to find people if you have something of theirs.

Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nil. Absolutely jack shit.

How can one man be so difficult to track down?

Just as you’re about to give up, a barrage of curses at the tip of your tongue, a glint of iron catches your eye.

Odd.

Hopping over a cluster of Netherrack and scaring off a few baby Striders, you see a small circle of iron sitting in a pile of red dust, looking dented and beat up.

You huff and brush the dust off of it, titling your head to the side when it reveals itself.

A compass, pointing in one direction, working even in the Nether.

Standing up, you pocket it and head to the nearest portal, jumping through to the other side only to grab the compass out of your pocket as you walk to who-knows-where. It still points in the same direction as before, only moving when you do.

An irregularity in the metal against your hand inspires you to flip the compass over to look at the back.

What lies there makes you smirk.

Technoblade’s cabin. Phil’s compass.

This might be easier than you initially thought.

:)

[chrolloctrl]

How would be the adult trio in love ?? I'm really looking forward to your writing 😳😳💖💖💖🙏😎

omg this is something i’ve been thinking about so long since i feel like some people REALLY don’t write the adultrio well when they are in love. of course they are all borderline psychotic but i do not think they are incapable of love. i said what i said anyways let me continue

im going to do this as a head canon if thats okay!! if you want me eventually develop a specific character into a one shot i definitely will:)

warnings: like some mention of blood and fighting, maybe a lil mention of sexual things, nothing too bad tho theres one really explicit blood/gore mention in hisokas but that is a very hisoka thing so i have decided to leave it there

first i’m doing illumi bc yall miss with illumi so hard

okay so

first of all, he was a definitely a child with an avoidant attachment style

basically when mummy was there he was annoyed, when mummy left he didn’t care or was probably happy, and when mummy came back he was annoyed once again

this child did not experience love as a child

not once

zip

zero

nada

so u have to be patient with him im sorry to say

but it isn’t impossible

i think when he’s in love, he doesn’t realize it

he thinks he’s just in a sort of...agreement with you

but im telling u right now.. small acts of kindness are his love language

like if u guys were in a fight together and there was blood on ur clothes he would wash them and lay them on ur bed

and then u would be like “ok u didn’t have to do that thats so nice”

and he’d be like “i dont know what ur talking about”

and walk away

or

he would see like a book or something u like and read it just because u liked it too

he wouldn’t tell u tho he would just randomly bring up something from the book 

and you would be like “oh u read it?” 

and he would be like “no why would u think that”

and you would be like “:|”

with illumi u just have to be patient, i think eventually he would catch himself making ur bed one day and he would be like “fuck”

and realize he might have a thing for u

but he wouldnt believe it bc he is oh so emotionless and does not feel one thing at all

but he does he is just a liar

i think he would make his first move when he accidentally lets out all the emotions hes been faking not having and like just cries wishing he were loved and ur like

“i love u though illumi, a lot”

and he would just kiss u and like hug ur for 3 hours and then make u not talk about it ever again but u guys would just be in love and killua would be kinda pressed but he’d be happy u were illumi’s gon <3

okay let’s do chrollo next im sorry illumi’s was so long 

alright

as u can tell i am in love with this man

and everyone always bashes me bc he has no screentime and a pretty basic anime antagonist backstory

but out of all of the adultrio i think he falls in love the easiest and with someone nobody expects

like he is a mass murderer and thief and ur like...a flower shop worker

he would just be walking in yorknew city and see u reading some obsecure ass russian literature while working at a flower shop and he’d be like “wait im intrigued”

then he would talk to u and u would be like

:D

but also calm and reserved

and he would love that, someone who just vibes not a worry in the world

but then as he gets to know u he realizes u r not just a body bag who vibes

u r a human with actual emotions

something he probably swears he doesnt have

he would tell the rest of the troupe that ur just like...an experiment

and they would all buy it EXCEPT machi

she would be like “omg boss ur in love”

and chrollo would be like “um i dont feel that sry to say”

and machi would be like “ya sure lol”

you have no idea who he is like no clue he is the lead spider

but okay omg this part is gonna be corny

you would like hehe sorry im laughing thinking ab this

walking around yorknew city and he would almost step on a spider and u would be like “no!!! be careful!!” and pick up the spider and lightly set it into the grass

and chrollo would be like “why would u do that spiders r scary...right” *looks into the camera like hes on the office*

and u would be like “no..even spiders have feelings u know”

and then he would just like absolutely lose it he’d maintain composure but on the inside he would be like dhdkhduwojhfw

then he would kiss u and then he would finally tell the troupe the truth and machi would be sooo smug 

oh and the troupe def likes u like that is a given

ur just so innocent and sweet its like impossible not to like u u make everyone put away their tough guy acts

and then ya u guys probably read to each other u weird fucks

but its cute and i love

alright now for probably the person who would take the longest to love someone 

i dont know if u have read hisokas backstory one shot but i will try to explain the best i can

hisoka was in circus. lead man of circus say hisoka talented. lead man train hisoka to use nen. hisoka learns nen very fast. oh no serial killer is on the loose. oh no girl in circus almost get killed by serial killer. hisoka save girl. hisoka accuse lead man of being serial killer. lead man say yes lol i am. hisoka say okay i want 2 fight. lead man say sure lol i will kill u. hisoka kill lead man and girl in circus wonders where hisoka and lead man went.

okay now that thats out of the way

the girls name was abaki and i think hisoka liked her ngl

but that was before u know he got all gassed by killing lead man

he definitely thinks similar to illumi in the way that u r just a pawn in his plans

but u r def super strong and he is shook

he probably wants to fight u

but he still doesnt think ur strong enough

u live ur own life separately from his so he doesnt know much ab what u do in ur free time

one day he catches u training with someone else

and he won’t say it but hes lowkey pissed af

hes like “um wtf why didnt u ask me to train u

and ur like “literally why would i ever do that”

and hes like “what u think i cant train”

and ur like “u can barely control ur bloodlust hisoka :|” 

hes like “yeah u know ur right i guess”

but he doesnt stop thinking ab it bc like why wouldnt u train with him

u decide to go on ur own lil mission and try to fight someone you’ve been wanting to fight for a while

you invite hisoka just to watch, you tell him you just want him to sit around this time since you always sit around and watch him

he expects u to get beat to a pulp ngl

but you like completely obliterate the other person

this is too niche but u have such a gory fighting style. like ur def batshit crazy in a fight and loose all composure 

hisoka is shook bc he did not expect u to go that crazy

u like bite the other dudes jugular and blood splatters every where

that was so gross but idk im into that weird shit sorry im tw’ing that

but hisoka is a weird mf so that def makes him horny for u

he like takes u back to ur house while ur covered in blood and theres a crazy look in ur eye still

and he realizes hes in love with u bc ur just as crazy as him

i feel like ur guys relationships spawns bc of how crazy u both are. u guys probably summon demons for fun

i feel like his love language is more i do for u what u do for me

like if u save his ass in a fight, he’ll watch a cheesy movie for u

its def a give and receive vibe but it works

or if he saves ur ass he makes u guys take a bath together

and ur like “this is so cheesy”

and hes like “um ur having fun tho right” *crickets* “yea thats what i thought”

muah gonna think ab this before i go to bed

alr i think i wrote WAYYY too much omg these are all so long i am so sorry, too many thought in brain keyboard go woosh

hope u liked it though <3

[early-sxnsets]

Fic based on the song Came in Close by pale waves ??

(ok so like background is–7th year canon diverge that simon and agatha never dated because they just don’t idk why not–also it got long so more under the cut)

“I don’t like the idea of a stake out,” Snow huffs, buttoning his blazer as we settle alone in the side closet, seemingly trying to measure out the space with his eyes so he can strategically stay as far away from me as possible. Of course he doesn’t. He likes charge and attack.

“What’s your plan? Accuse a professor of being a shapeshifter casually?”

He shrugs, looking down as he casually steps back and away from me. “Maybe.”

I scoff over at him, pushing my hair back as I draw out my wand. He flinches, at first, then watches me raise it up to the air above us and utter a spell. “Première étoile que je vois ce soir.”

We both watch as a soft, glowing ball forms above us, illuminating the contained space and leaving us washed in warm yellow. When I’m looking back, though, he’s looking away, running a hand back through his hair before tugging it and plopping down onto the floor.

I sit against the door slowly, unbuttoning my blazer and drawing one knee while the other half folded and settled onto the dusty ground, knocking into a shelving unit full of textbooks.

“What if we made a mistake?”

My head snaps up, eyebrows narrowing at him. “What do you mean ‘mistake’?”

“You know.”

“What if we mistakenly witnessed a teacher wick into a cloud of smoke, then reappear back as a student that neither of us recognize nor have even seen before? And then, a day or two later, that same student tries to get all buddy buddy with you. But we’re mistaken? Is that what you’re asking?”

He shrugs again. “We could’ve seen it wrong?”

I wonder what’s rattling around inside his skull, because it’s definitely not a brain. “Ah yes, we both witnessed a single occurrence outside a teacher’s room, and it was a complete misunderstanding. We just, I don’t know, took the same hallucinogen coincidentally at the same time, resulting in the same hallucination.”

The broom beside him rattles as he shifts against it, staring off into his hands as we sit in a bitingly cold silence. I know this is what I get for being a dick to him. Awkward silences, long, uncomfortable stares, and cold glances. In the past years, he’d hit me, but since growing up a bit made us both a bit more stable, we just get angry or get silent.

I look at my palms, then my knuckles. Watch the way they curve and stress into a fist, then relax back into soft ridges and large flats. I know these knuckles are one of the only things on my body that’ve touched Snow’s skin, and that’s not a matter bound to change.

“So what are the plans?” he tries, still refusing to look at me.

I act similarly, not wanting to make an uneven draw of attention. “We wait. Someone’s got to come in here sometime, and it shouldn’t be forever–classes start again in an hour.”

He nods, crossing his arms over his chest. “Right. Missing lunch.”

Shit. Forgot to give him that.

I dig into my bookbag, pulling out a wrapped sandwich and an apple and toss them his way. “Stop complaining, it’s giving me a headache.”

He stares at them, then stares at me, and goes right to dig in. Staying across, I watch him, knowing I can’t help myself. Even when he’s a slob, he’s a magnet for my attention.

Half the sandwich in, and he stares up at me, giving me a smile that makes my heart jump. “Seven years into knowing me and you don’t know I prefer turkey to ham?” he jokes, a mouthful of food and still chewing. I should be gagging, but instead I’m taking a moment to drink in his gaze.

“I didn’t have to snag you anything at all.”

He shrugs again, shoving the food back into his mouth. In hopes to distract myself, I pull out a book, starting to read in the (almost) silence.

The light isn’t the best, so holding the book is a bit awkward, but I get the hang of it. I can’t get far into it, though, without Snow trying to question me on the topic of it.

“What’s that?”

“A book, Snow. Ever touched one?”

I can hear him huff, not looking up but knowing the exact scowl he’d be wearing.

“I meant, what’s it about?”

“The AIDS crisis,” I mumble. When I finally look up, he’s squinting across and nodding at me. “Snow, please tell me you know what the AIDs crisis was.”

“No, I know, mostly. I just…”

“You just what?”

He shrugs, rubbing his neck. “I… uh…. nevermind.”

“Spit it out, Snow.”

He frowns. “’S just, that’s a very specific topic.”

“Yes?”

“Not–not a lot of people are interested, that’s all.”

“Are you implying something, Snow?”

He raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. “No! It’s just…. the topic is…” he looks away, shutting himself up.

I figure to leave it, too, knowing full well what he was getting at. Say it, Snow. Just say it.

Instead, we sit in silence. I don’t think much’ll happen for a bit–not until I hear the scuffle of standing feet, then feel him plop back down next to me. I frown instinctively, head snapping to the side as my book closes lightly on my finger holding the place. “What?”

He looks at the cover. “What if you read to pass time?”

“You think I want to read aloud to you?”

He shakes his head, then shrugs. “It’d pass time.”

I suppose he’s right, but a number of things could pass time. Like, for example, me eating the rat poison near the corner. It’s save plenty of time, me being dead.

Still, I find myself opening the book back up, finding my place, and clearing my throat before starting to read aloud. I go slowly, knowing he can’t follow whenever people talk too far, and follow the words along with my finger, in case he’s reading over my shoulder.

It’s a bit embarrassing, talking about an intimate subject. Not the virus and disease, but instead the blood. The talk of blood, the idea of blood between us is still a sore spot that’ll ache until I’m as far from him as possible.

We get to the end of a section and he stops, head almost drooping. “Can I rest?” he asks.

I immediately stiffen, but nod, eyes focusing intently on the page as his head settles onto my shoulder. It rests warmly, comfortingly, making my head spin as I try to focus on the page.

What if I just settled my hand on his? Or grazed his thigh? How hard would he hit me and run?

His side comes in close, then grazes my skin, resting gently as I try to read again. But, instead, this time I jumble a few words, reading too fast and tripping over everyday phrases. I try to slow myself, then get nervous and go too fast, and all the while, he’s warmly up against me, listening to the words and picking up his head on occasion.

I bite on my lip, taking a deep breath and he lifts his head. 

“What is it, Snow?” I bite, quickly covering up my tracks as he watches me with caution.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” I exhale again, shaking my head and snapping the book shut.

He looks over me, still in breathing distance as I’m shoving it into the bag. “No.”

“What?”

“Something happened. You never get all worked up over nothing. Was it me?”

“Why would it be you?” I speak too quickly, fully keeping my back to him as we sit.

“Because it started…” He stops himself, shaking his head. “Baz?”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry?”

“For what?”

“Making you uncomfortable.”

I wasn’t uncomfortable, Snow. I was nervous. Eager to impress. Wanting more. “Whatever.”

He shifts, still keeping our legs brushing. “Aren’t you gonna take it?”

“The apology that means nothing? No.”

“It meant something!”

“You were apologizing for something that didn’t even happen. It means nothing.”

“What… do you mean didn’t happen?”

Shit.  “Nothing, Snow. Shut it. We’re here to wait, not chat.”

He grabs my hand, quite forcefully, and it jolts me. “What is it?”

I look at him and yank my hand away. “You are. You’re what happened. Now shut it.”

We’re dead silent, only the small light floating above us.

“What… does that…”

“Nothing!” I snap, hands flying up. “I means nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. It means fuck off.”

He frowns deeper, reaching back for my hands like the stubborn bastard he is. “But…”

I stop, looking over at him nervously and exhaling. We stay silent, staring at one another as he holds onto my now shaking hands. He moves to sit facing me, lips twitching. “How do I fix it?”

“You can’t.”

“Well, what caused it?”

I’m silent, staring down at his lap.

For once, I think he has a bright moment and realises it. “Oh,” he whispers.

I close my eyes, waiting for an impact that doesn’t even come. Instead, I get a few quiet words.

“So what does this do?”

I feel his hand turn around mine, holding them properly as I swallow and pull one of his moves and shrug.

He scoots a little closer. “Okay. What about this?”

Without expecting it, I feel a soft bump of lips against my cheek. Looking over, I see him inches from me. I dumbly shrug again, mouth hanging open.

He smiles that unexpected, sweet smile again. “What if I kissed you?”

“I don’t know, what if you did?”

And then he kisses me.

I stiffen against him, then smooth back out all at once, curling my fingers around his as I try and kiss him back, then jolt when the door to the main room opens. We jolt apart, his cheeks rosy pink as we hear the voice of The Mage and our Professor out in the room, speaking loud enough to hear.

“So how’s the studying on the Pitch boy going?”

[maverick-werewolf]

Random Werewolf Fact #20 - How to Kill a Werewolf (Weaknesses)

The age-old question that people like to ask but seems so easy to answer in most movies, because they always die - how do you actually kill a werewolf, anyway?

I wrote a post on silver once, if you recall. But here’s a much more robust version of what can and cannot actually hurt a werewolf.

As you probably already know by now, werewolves are often essentially invincible. Often, but not always. In some stories, killing a werewolf was just as easy as killing any other person or any other wolf. Burning at the stake was common, as you might imagine.

Or more often than not, the werewolf simply cannot be killed, and you have to find a way to fix/revert/cure them instead. For more details on all this and more, you can also see one of my previous posts on werewolf abilities.

Want to get Mav all fired up? Tell me about werewolves with ridiculously stupid contrived weaknesses. Send me an ask if you want a rant. Honestly, I got very angry just writing this post, thinking about the stupid crap people do. But for now, I’ll just stick to info as well as I can.

Did NOT appear in folklore:

Silver - The big one. The fake one. The one completely made up by Curt Siodmak in 1941 when he wrote his movie The Wolf Man. The one I’ve said many times and had some people point at me and just say “So... Yeah. Wrong.” Well, right back at you, O friendly one. You’ll hear people now and then try to tell you that this whole silver thing for werewolves started around the Beast of Gevaudan; it did not, that was a fictional retelling and embellishment someone wrote years later. Some people will try to tell you there are other stories that mention silver for werewolves in a folkloric fashion. The trouble is, I’ve never seen any properly documented and accountable sources to back up these claims, so honestly I can’t bring myself to believe they exist, especially since Curt Siodmak and people who worked with him said themselves that he made up the silver thing completely from his imagination. So anyone scouring legends to find silver, picking up trails of contrivances and mistellings and misinterpretations over the years, trying to hard to make this a real thing - they’re all wasting their time. Folkloric werewolves are not sensitive to silver and never have been. Does silver appear in other folklore? Sometimes, yes. Is it alchemically associated with the moon and that’s probably why Siodmak picked it (because he chose to associate his werewolves with the moon)? Probably, yeah. Does it make for a good story? Well, yeah, it can! But, I’m sorry, it simply is not from any folklore anywhere that specifically werewolves are sensitive to, or can only be slain by, silver.

Holy ground/holy artifacts - This is also not a thing. Werewolves aren’t unholy. They aren’t like vampires or other unholy monsters like evil spirits and demons; in fact, they have absolutely nothing to do with any of those things. And even when some Satanic sorcerer court cases got mislabeled as being werewolves, the wolf sorcerers still weren’t repelled by holy symbols or unable to step on holy ground.

Vampire bites - As I’ll be detailing in a future post, the whole “werewolves vs vampires” thing is a very modern idea made by modern storytellers. Vampires have no special natural “weapons” against werewolves and vice versa. Vampire bites certainly don’t “poison” werewolves.

Fire - No, fur is not made of pure oil that will catch on fire and burn like pitch the second it comes into the tiniest contact with a single freaking match. It doesn’t catch on fire instantly and it won’t stay burning forever like some eternal flame. Also, in berserker lore, they are specified to be immune to both iron and fire. And in fact I’ve been led to understand that really the only thing that causes your hair or fur to burn is the body oils that coat it. Listing this as some kind of unique and special weakness for werewolves, like everyone likes to do, is ridiculously silly, please stop doing this. And listing it because fire scares animals is also silly because werewolves aren’t animals; they’re werewolves. Anyway, no, this wasn’t a thing in folklore, either.

Running water - This is another undead/evil spirits/vampires thing, never once associated with werewolves, particularly as werewolves are not unholy.

Loud noises/bright lights/whatnot - As you might imagine, no one in the days of actual werewolf beliefs was running around with flashbangs, so no, this never really happened either.

Wolfsbane and belladonna - This is a really popular one and another one that originated from The Wolf Man (1941) when Curt Siodmak decided to associate his werewolf with the wolfsbane flower. Basically, Siodmak dictated to the world what his werewolves are like and then everyone decided to copy him and now it’s all but universal canon that werewolves are like his werewolves. It’s pretty wild, really. Wouldn’t it be amazing if that happened to you, if you suddenly just up and told the entire world what this monster is like for essentially the rest of its existence in all storytelling everywhere?

Electricity - This seems to be an increasingly common thing. I mean, yeah, most everything is “sensitive” to electricity, right? This is another new thing, though, so it’s like whatever.

Literally everything else in all those TV shows - Yes, all those shows you watch that have werewolves in them. Supernatural, True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Being Human, Teen Wolf, you name it. They all made up a gracious plenty of things, some ranging from completely ridiculous (sulfate gas, what? What does that even...?) to arguably more reasonable. Of course if you ask me most are ridiculous. Blood loss? Really? What do you think the regeneration is even there for?

Of course, making up weaknesses for your werewolves isn’t a bad thing. I mean, I’m not saying it’s innately bad; not at all (well alright except some of them and especially the unholy thing... can we not?). Especially since I hold to the idea that they should be essentially invincible otherwise. But none of these have actual folkloric sources - that is my point.

Appeared in folklore:

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - You heard it right. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Big goose egg. Nothing. Naught. Nichts. Ekkert. Nec entem. Ingenting. And now you also know how to say “nothing” in various ways and languages, too.

Want a few of the weirder instances of how werewolves were actually defeated? All of these only happened once on an individual level. In one case, we get the idea that speaking a werewolf’s Christian name will turn them back to their human form. In another case, if you throw a piece of iron over their head, they’ll turn back.

Do any of these actually hurt, kill, or “cure” them, though? Nope, sorry.

No weaknesses. Good luck with that. You know Wolverine, right, from Marvel? He’s much more of a proper werewolf than like 95% of werewolves in pop culture.

So next time you’re making up werewolves for your world or something, if you want them to have no weaknesses - hey, that can still be on point. Or you can just use silver, because honestly everyone takes that for granted now. And I’m not denying it’s fun (I use it in my own setting, though I have a gratuitous backstory to go with the why and the how, instead of it “just being a thing,” and no one knows why/the creator[s] don’t really know why or care to know either).

But for goodness sake, if you use silver, don’t do that obnoxious thing where people act like you can somehow feed a werewolf silver and it’ll kill them (like they’ll just swallow silver for some reason lololol so funneh and trickseh). Even if they did swallow it, you realize vomiting is a thing, right, especially if it’s something actively burning your insides? Or people who act like you can actually shove it down their throat in the middle of combat. That is the stupidest thing ever in the history of everything. It wouldn’t work and you would die and the werewolf wouldn’t be anything except really mad and busy tearing your stupid head off. Get out.

*ahem* So there you have it! Enjoy.

(If you like my werewolf blog, be sure to check out my other stuff!

Patreon --- YouTube --- Wulfgard --- Werewolf Fact Masterlist --- Twitter)

[livelyfellow]

SHIPPING INFO // answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. don’t reblog.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?: Everyone loves SeiferxZell & ZellxLibrary Girl with the Pigtail and No Name, but it's just not for me. I don't really have an OTP for Zell. At least not canonically. 

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:  Anything and everything? 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: I know fandom has a stink about aging up the characters from what I've seen but because my Zell is post-game, he will always be of legal age. As long as the partner is of legal age as well, I'm fine with it. :)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: Absolutely. 

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?: When the state of arousal becomes a prominent element in the writing.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: Zero. Zip. Ziltch. Nada.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: I would prefer it. It helps me determine which direction the character’s relationship is heading. Because shipping isn’t really why I’m here to RP, so often I tend to overlook opportunities to ship.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP? Not very often? I like a balance of platonic vs. romantic interactions, and I usually prefer non-romantic interactions first – just to see how well the muses click.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: It is not my primary focus for Zell but I really would love for him to have somebody. <3 

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: Yes, however, I will not ship with the same muse. I’m not collecting muses for a ‘digital harem’ or adding your muse to some figurative punch card. I am also less inclined to begin shipping with muses who already have something established with a duplicate.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:  I will pridefully march backwards into hell for Seifer x Rinoa. I don’t fully enjoy the Orphan x Orphan dynamic the fandom has because it weirds me out (but I won’t knock it, I’m not here to yuck on anyone’s yum.)

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Message me. Love me. Give me your ideas. Please don't expect me to come up with everything for our muses. I'm only interested in collaborative efforts, here. <3 

Tagged by:  I stole this from @warofthebeasts Tagging: continue the steal train

[boku-no-meme-academia]

folks headcanon tensei and aizawa to be freinds and i really didnt catch anything in the canon. i hope i am terribly mistaken and thick to not see it Is The Word True

i think it's just bc they're the same age and attended Yuuei! its fun imagining how aizawa would have been like during high school, and we already know he was friends with mic. why not throw in tensei too? now, we have, like, zip zero nada about tensei or mic or aizawa all having a friendship but its pretty fun to imagine.//i//, personally, have always liked a good trio. harry, ron, hermione. percy, hazel, frank. mikado, masaomi, anri. ed, al, winry. deku, uraraka, iida. mic, aizawa, tensei.its so fun having not just two characters bounce off one another, but three. four is a bit too much sometimes, too much effort on me as a writer's part to have the group actually be split into two. let's throw in nemuri. eventually it's be so that mic and aizawa are always together as friends while tensei and nemuri are always together as well. the group has 4 people but it really seems like its actually split sometimes.three's just an easier number to work with.this is getting pretty long so ill try to shorten the reasons i myself and maybe other peoplw like to think of the three of them as friends:1. tensei is an iida and all iidas are pure,2. fun trio!!3. when writing teachers in their high school days, its much easier (and more fun!) to add canon characters to the class rather than just make up 18 other ocs4. tensei fics tend to have baby tenya and thats a huge fuckin bonus

[livelyfellow]

SHIPPING INFO // answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. don’t reblog.

Under a read more because Syn doesn't know how to keep things short. :’)

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

Zell has a side quest that can be completed where he is gifted a limit break ability by a girl who works in Gardens library. And I know that everyone ships Zell with either ‘Librarian Girl with a Pigtail’ or they put him with Seifer and honestly neither of those options really seemed to be something that ever appealed to me. Or even to Zell, really. Idk, I'll let you guys decide on Pigtail Girl but as cute as this moment was, I don't really see Zell's responses being terribly receptive to the romance part of the interaction. (Then again, I'm not one for unavoidable romance in video games...) 

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

Anything and everything? Really? But really though, character development will always come first. I don't like just launching right into shippy fluff or smut. I feel like Zell would give me more leeway to have the domestic stuff, the cooking and doing for his partner(s). Cute things because my god have you seen that face?

Just.... LOOK. 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:

Considering that Zell's canon age is 17 (at the start of the game), it would already be uncomfortable if I wrote him during any time period other than post-game. I don't think that Zell really puts much focus on age but I doubt anyone much older than him would be able to handle his energy and mood swings. Then again, maybe that's exactly what Zell needs andhereiswhereiseemyselfout

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:

Absolutely. 

While Zell currently doesn't have any relationships established in RP, I don't want him to be used as some muse to just mindlessly smut with. I want people to fall in love and appreciate him just as much as I have. (And @angelsrebellion - respectfully. I mean, that IS his best friend...) Zell will pour his mind, body, and soul into loving a person and I don't want that to not be reciprocated in kind.  

And even Zell is pretty selective when it comes to dating. He's not the easiest to pick up on subtlety and will likely need to be grabbed by the face and told outright if someone likes him. Zell isn't used to having someone like him. His mind just draws a blank. It's guys like Irvine and Squall and Seifer who get the girls (and boys), not Zell, oh no...

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?:

Mmn. I'm still trying to figure that out. I get skittish around threads that begin to go down that path, at least on tumblr. Usually, when intent begins to get established, ie. hands roaming, going places they wouldn't in public, that's when things get moved to discord -- at least on my Seifer blog.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?:

Zero. Zip. Ziltch. Nada. 

Zell is developing a few things with Reiner and Prompto but currently, I haven't had time to really get on here and get things started and that's my fault. Working to change that though!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

Well, it's kind of a courtesy, I'd imagine. I don't really feel too keen on pre-established relationships when they haven't been talked about in length. I don't like having a disconnection between muns when it comes to shipping. Because I'll drop in with headcanons, aesthetics, songs, etc. I don't want to feel like I can't just do that at random.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

Listen, I like to ship; it’s fun having a partnership behind the dramatics of threads. But there’s lots of ways to ship - it doesn’t have to be just sex and romance. There’s the fights, the silence when one side is pissed off, the silly arguments and worries that come with a relationship. The kicking each other to see who’s making the morning coffee, the fight over the shower, the give-me-my-side-of-the-duvet!! I want it all - give the full dramatic experience. ^ That's not my answer but I'm keeping it because De-Nice said it best. 

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

I will be honest, I want Zell to have those lovey-shippy feels, I want him to have that chaotic, angsty ship, I want him to have the same kind of opportunities that Seifer has had on his blog with muses where he's been able to explore and dive deep into his emotional growth.

But I don't need it to happen on Zell. I can still develop without the relationship/romantic aspect of RP.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:

Yes, however, I will not ship with the same muse. I'm not collecting muses for a ‘digital harem’ or adding your muse to some figurative punch card.

Also, I am less inclined to begin shipping with muses who already have something established with a duplicate. This isn't out of jealousy but more out of past situations on Seifer where I've had people try to 'collect' him with other Seifer ships. I'm... not here for that. And neither is Zell. :|

WHAT IS ( ARE ) YOUR FAVORITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

No favorites, really. I enjoy seeing the combinations of relationships that are out there. I rarely ever see anything regarding Seifer x Ellone (which, I love that ship, fight me.) And I really enjoy seeing stuff about Selphie x Irvine. Squall x Seifer is one that's................ it's complicated. Blame hartofbalamb for that one, bwahaha~

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

GDI De-Nice why do your responses words sound better than anything I can come up with? 

Alright, so this is going to be incredibly blunt -- do not be afraid to engage me or my muses. If I post a meme, send something in. If I don't post a meme, send your muse in my ask box. Drop in Discord IC. Let’s create a million discord channels on one server just for us. Let’s scream about our muses doing something cute and cry when they are hurt.  

You also need to be patient with me and my muses. I run four blogs, two of them are highly active and I do my best to stay on top of things. We may move things to discord for small RPs to help build that chemistry between muses.  

SPEAKING OF CHEMISTRY !!!

This is a collaborative effort -- anyone I write with for the long term has to understand that they need to be able to take the initiative at times because I can't always send the messages and memes. We need to comfortably build up a rapport and grow together as RP Partners. It's more fun when you know and trust the person you're writing with. 

As De-Nice mentioned in her meme:  'I need to know about the other character and mun for us to click and be able to write. Memes and asks are all well and fun, but I feel disjointed without threads and OOC interaction. We need to interact and get to know each other!!!'

tagged by: @meldaciomartyr  tagging: everyone -- we should all be filling this out so grab it if you haven't!