#zero imagination all production

[13thpythagoras]

meanwhile, construction workers and industrial painters who literally do exactly all that every day without celebration:

abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao

[6ebe]

James corden coming back now this have we not suffered enough 😞

[tabl3]

being a gay vegan in the bible belt is an experience

[salmonidos]

One day I will snap, ignore all my responsibilities and compose theme songs for the classic Doctors the way nuwho Doctors have their theme songs

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Thinking the unthinkable

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Time and again, I find myself thinking about radium suppositories: specifically, I get to thinking about the day that the consensus shifted from "radium suppositories are great" to "stop putting radioisotopes up your ass."

The thing is, people really liked radium-based quack remedies. They drank radium-infused water, smeared radium cream on their faces and bodies, and yes, rammed radium suppositories up their assholes:

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/sawbones/radium-girls/

The fact that this made whatever ailed you sicker didn't deter the radium true believers: if you're getting sicker, then you must need more radium.

When I think about the debate over radium, I imagine that the people who understood that radium was really bad for you must have run up against critics who told them they were being unreasonable. "You can't tell people to stop using radium. Tell them to use suppositories with less radium. Tell them to use them less frequently. But you can't just tell people, 'stop putting radium up your asshole.' They won't take you seriously."

About 20 years ago, I started pitching various institutions that reviewed consumer tech policy on the idea that they should reject any product that had DRM. After all, DRM didn't just restrict how you used a gadget today, it provided a facility for nonconsensually, irreversibly field-updating that gadget to add new restrictions tomorrow. How could a reviewer in good conscience say, "Go ahead and buy this device if you need this feature," if they knew that at any time in the future, the gadget's maker could take that feature away and leave the buyer with no recourse?

Here's the warning I (half-seriously) suggested magazines run alongside such products:

WARNING: THIS DEVICE’S FEATURES ARE SUBJECT TO REVOCATION WITHOUT NOTICE, ACCORDING TO TERMS SET OUT IN SECRET NEGOTIATIONS. YOUR INVESTMENT IS CONTINGENT ON THE GOODWILL OF THE WORLD’S MOST PARANOID, TECHNOPHOBIC ENTERTAINMENT EXECS. THIS DEVICE AND DEVICES LIKE IT ARE TYPICALLY USED TO CHARGE YOU FOR THINGS YOU USED TO GET FOR FREE — BE SURE TO FACTOR IN THE PRICE OF BUYING ALL YOUR MEDIA OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AT NO TIME IN HISTORY HAS ANY ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY GOTTEN A SWEET DEAL LIKE THIS FROM THE ELECTRONICS PEOPLE, BUT THIS TIME THEY’RE GETTING A TOTAL WALK. HERE, PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH, IT’LL MUFFLE YOUR WHIMPERS.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/08/playstationed/#tyler-james-hill

No one took me up on my offer. Over and over again, magazine editors, managers of nonprofit review outlets, and indie gadget reviewers told me that it was unrealistic to publish a roundup of, say, this year's portable music players with the recommendation, "Just don't buy any of these. None of them are fit for purpose."

In other words: No one wanted to publish, "The correct amount of radium to stuff up your asshole is zero."

But the correct amount of rectal radium for you to administer is "none" and the correct car for you to buy today is none of the cars:

https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/its-official-cars-are-the-worst-product-category-we-have-ever-reviewed-for-privacy/

This isn't the first time the correct automotive recommendation was "don't buy any of these cars." Back before seatbelts came standard in cars, the correct car was "don't buy a car." Sometimes, the correct answer is "none of the above." Even if that makes you sound unserious, the alternative is that you counsel people to put radium up their asses in a bid to seem "reasonable."

Today, DRM-infected products are routinely downgraded and bricked:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/9/5/24236237/ftc-software-tethering-letter-consumer-reports-ifixit

Even when companies face public uproar over these disastrous decisions and vow to reverse them, they can't, because these downgrades are one way:

https://www.stereocheck.com/news/music/unfortunately-you-cant-revert-to-the-old-sonos-app-anymore/

That's bad enough when it's your smart speakers, but what about when the company bricks your wheelchair:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/when-drm-comes-your-wheelchair

Or your $100,000 exoskeleton:

https://paulickreport.com/news/people/paralyzed-jockey-michael-straight-wants-to-keep-walking-but-manufacturer-wont-repair-exoskeleton

The reality is that we're living at the end of a catastrophic experiment in deregulation and its handmaidens, corruption and regulatory capture, and there are lots of "normal" things that we just need to stop doing. Not do less of them – just stop.

Like, the correct amount of collusion between realtors representing sellers and realtors representing buyers is zero:

https://www.latimes.com/business/real-estate/story/2024-03-19/realtor-rules-just-changed-dramatically-heres-what-buyers-and-sellers-can-expect

We got that one right, but there's plenty more that we're still engaged in this pathetic, denialist bargaining over. What's the correct degree to which White House officials should cycle back into working at the industries they oversaw? Zero. How many times should such a person come back to work at the White House? Again: zero:

https://prospect.org/power/2024-09-19-next-administration-can-stop-ethics-scandals/

When the Biden admin dropped its executive order on ethics just hours after the inauguration, they trumpeted that it "went further than any other towards slowing the revolving door and limiting conflicts of interest while in office":

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/01/20/executive-order-ethics-commitments-by-executive-branch-personnel/

And it did. But it was also full of loopholes, because banning these conflicts of interest altogether was viewed as politically unserious, so the correct amount of radium up the administration's asshole was set at non-zero. The result? Well, it's about what you'd expect:

https://therevolvingdoorproject.org/what-the-hell-is-anita-dunn-even-allowed-to-work-on/

Congress hasn't updated consumer privacy law since 1988, when it took the bold step of…banning video-store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you took home. Since then, a coalition of commercial surveillance companies and the cops and spies who treat their data-lakes as massive, off-the-books anaerobic lagoons of warrantless surveillance data has prevented the passage of any new privacy protections for Americans.

The result? Stalkers, creeps, spies (both governmental and corporate), identity thieves, spearphishers and other villainous scum are running wild, endangering every American's financial, physical and political wellbeing. The correct amount of commercial data-brokerage for America is zero:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

In other words, we should order every data-broker, every tech giant, every consumer electronics company and app vendor to delete all their surveillance data. All of it. The correct amount of radium in that asshole is – as with every other orifice zero:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/07/revealed-preferences/#extinguish-v-improve

From the perspective of the radium pitchmen, the most shocking thing about the past four years has been antitrust enforcers – like Lina Khan, Rohit Chopra, and Jonathan Kanter – who refused to bargain about how much radium we needed to stick up our butts. Fearless of being branded as "unserious" and "unreasonable," they seriously, reasonably said the right amount is none, actually.

None. Which is why they're so mad at Khan and co. Which is why they're so bent on getting Kamala Harris to fire Khan – despite the fact that this would burn precious political capital in the senate. Some people just love the feeling they get from a radium suppository – especially the suppository salesmen:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-09-19-lina-khan-doesnt-need-to-be-confirmed-again/

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/19/just-stop-putting-that-up-your-ass/#harm-reduction/a>

Image: Museum of the Health Sciences https://www.uab.edu/amhs/

[paperclipninja]

I've seen a few posts about production of Good Omens being paused (reported in Deadline here) and people seem mostly pragmatic about it but I've also seen some worry/concern floating about and figured that as someone who has seen many different scenarios unfold in fandom over the years, I'd add a couple of points:

- the article is vague and literally states "Deadline is hearing there are discussions about possible production changes". That's like me saying, "I'm hearing there are conversations about this thing happening". There is zero confirmation of anything at this stage.

- production changes can mean many things, though I think we all know one change that seems most likely/necessary under current circumstances. But the key words here is changes. Changes implies the intention to continue, but with a few tweaks.

- a pause is just that. A moment to take pause, think about how to proceed, make changes. It's not the "C" word.

- this story is a co-creation. I imagine there are a lot of ppl committed to ensuring Terry Pratchett's story is finished.

- the show is profitable and popular, so Amazon want to make it (cynical? Maybe. I think probably realistic though).

I guess the point of this post is to say: this news doesn't mean a whole lot until we get some clarity or confirmation. But it's also not dire.

So hang in there fam, keep creating and sharing art and fics and insights and general brilliance 💛 It's all we can really do for now.

[naamahdarling]

I'm probably going to piss some people off with this, but.

The use of AI and machine learning for harmful purposes is absolutely unacceptable.

But that isn't an innate part of what it does.

Apps or sites using AI to generate playlists or reading lists or a list of recipes based on a prompt you enter: absolutely fantastic, super helpful, so many new things to enjoy, takes jobs from no-one.

Apps or sites that use a biased algorithm (which is AI) which is not controllable by users or able to be turned off by them, to push some content and suppress others to maximize engagement and create compulsive behavior in users: unethical, bad, capitalism issue, human issue.

People employing genAI to create images for personal, non-profit use and amusement who would not have paid someone for the same service: neutral, (potential copyright and ethics issue if used for profit, which would be a human issue).

People incorporating genAI as part of their artistic process, where the medium of genAI is itself is a deliberate part of the artist's technique: valid, interesting.

Companies employing genAI to do the work of a graphic designer, and websites using genAI to replace the cost of stock photos: bad, shitty, no, capitalist and ethical human issue.

People attacking small artists who use it with death threats and unbelievable vitriol: bad, don't do that.

AI used for spell check and grammar assistance: really great.

AI employed by eBay sellers to cut down on the time it takes to make listings: good, very helpful, but might be a bad idea as it does make mistakes and that can cost them money, which would be a technical issue.

AI used to generate fake product photos: deceptive, lazy, bad, human ethical issue.

AI used to identify plagiarism: neutral; could be really helpful but the parameters are defined by unrealistic standards and not interrogated by those who employ it. Human ethical issue.

AI used to analyze data and draw up complex models allowing detection of things like cancer cells: good; humans doing this work take much longer, this gives results much faster and allows faster intervention, saving lives.

AI used to audit medical or criminal records and gatekeep coverage or profile people: straight-up evil. Societal issue, human ethical issue.

AI used to organize and classify your photos so you don't have to spend all that time doing it: helpful, good.

AI used to profile people or surveil people: bad and wrong. Societal issue, human issue, ethical issue.

I'm not going to cover the astonishingly bad misinformation that has been thrown out there about genAI, or break down thought distortions, or go into the dark side of copyright law, or dive into exactly how it uses the data it is fed to produce a result, or explain how it does have many valid uses in the arts if you have any imagination and curiosity, and I'm not holding anyone's hand and trying to walk them out of all the ableism and regurgitated capitalist arguments and the glorification of labor and suffering.

I just want to point out: you use machine learning (AI) all the time, you benefit from it all the time. You could probably identify many more examples that you use every day. Knee-jerk panicked hate reflects ignorance, not sound principles.

You don't have beef with AI, you have beef with human beings, how they train it, and how they use it. You have beef with capitalism and thoughtlessness. And so do I. I will ruthlessly mock or decry misuse or bad use of it. But there is literally nothing inherently bad in the technology.

I am aware of and hate its misuse just as much as you do. Possibly more, considering that I am aware of some pretty heinous ways it's being used that a lot of people are not. (APPRISS, which is with zero competition for the title the most evil use of machine learning I have ever seen, and which is probably being used on you right now.)

You need to stop and actually think about why people do bad things with it instead of falling for the red herring and going after the technology (as well as the weakest human target you can find) every time you see those two letters together.

You cannot protect yourself and other people against its misuse if you cannot separate that misuse against its neutral or helpful uses, or if you cannot even identify what AI and machine learning are.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

omg congrats for 5k doll! i wanted to slide in and see if i could have a protective!bf Gaz written since my baby is so underappreciated??? i saw this tweet about the scene in mw where gaz's disabling a bomb and is unable to and price throws the guy off the balcony, but this time the bomb in strapped to his love and he's and he's struggling and sees price out of the corner of his eye and remembers what happens last time and panicks and goes all 'you won't do that to her'. just a thought, love all your work!

—Don't Look At Her

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈��� ❝ [The bomb starts ticking down, rapidly firing to zero. Gaz won't let Price near you. Not after he'd remembered the Captain's actions when they'd first met.] ❞

"Gaz," your voice wavers, watching the rapidly working man and seeing his darting eyes—lit with panicked fervor. He doesn't answer, so you speak again. "Gaz!"

"No!" He barks, brown eyes instantly meeting yours. Lips pull in a right frown; there's a glint in his gaze that you'd never seen before—not in the many years you'd known him. Kyle's firm hands don't leave the wiring attached to your chest. The vest.

The bomb.

"No, Love," he grates out, immediately getting back to work as you try to keep your tears at bay, body jerking back and forth as your boyfriend pulls at the straps and bits. "Don't even say anything. You're going to fucking fine, you hear? It's going to be okay."

It was the product of bad intel, really. You'd been sent in without the proper know-how, leading to a scuffle where the butt of a gun had been slammed into your temple. When your eyes opened again, it was already too late.

Kneeling in the middle of a large office building, the glass of the windows shattered behind you, and the wind whips the back of your skull aggressively, you stare down at Gaz. Trying to form words on a tongue that won't cooperate.

"You need to run," you whisper out, resigning yourself as the rapid beeping increases. Your heart moves so fast you can't feel the skin of your chest anymore. "Kyle," pleading, you watch his jaw clench something fierce. "Listen to me—!"

"I'm not leaving you!" A sharp snap of a metal piece hits your ears, the piece of the vest clattering to the ground in a violent display of desperation. Gaz glances back up at you stubbornly; as if uncaring about the impending incineration only minutes away. "So you stop bloody talking like that, yeah? I'm not just giving up!"

The sides of your eyes dribble out rabid tears, lungs a mess of air and inhales that can't even be considered breathing anymore by how wheezy they sound.

How would it feel? Exploding into a patchwork of blood and fire—instantaneous, sure, but feeling Kyle's heat and his puffs of air; his fear, you can't imagine him dying like that. Not him.

"Look at me," Gaz pants, fingers pulling at cords in search of the one he needed to cut—unable to pinpoint it through the hack-job that had been done to your vest.

There was every color under the sun except fucking yellow. His teeth clench so tight they hurt his jaw, but he sends you quick glances as you shakily do as he says.

Brown eyes soften, and while the both of your hands shake, for a second there's a relief at the eye-contact. "Repeat it, Love."

You lick your lips and stammer, "y-you're not leaving."

Lips press firmly into yours, and you clench your eyes tight at the sensation, tiny sob breaking the contact.

"That's right." Gaz growls. "Not on my life."

Rapid footsteps race into the room, but before the Sergeant can reach for his weapon, the familiar call from the Captain echoes out.

"Friendly!" It's as if Gaz doesn't even register, still digging and fearfully looking at the timer.

50 seconds. 49. 48. 47...

"Sergeant," Price jogs over. You can barely find the inner strength to look up at him. "Sitrep."

Blue eyes dart from the vest to you and the Captain's serious face goes grim. His expression flashes with the inner workings of his mind, eyes narrowing and a grunt stuck under his lips.

"I have it," Gaz speaks quickly, and the words strike you as odd, though you don't comment. Price slid him a sharp look.

"Gaz—"

"Don't even look at her." Snarling like an animal, brown orbs are volatile enough to rend stone in two as they meet the older man's. You and John are rendered speechless, sharing a swift glance in shock like teenagers hearing their parents swear for the first time.

Kyle's eyes are wild, sweat slicking his brow. "Come fucking on!" He yells and your body is snapped forward as Gaz pries on the straps, having to steady yourself on the man's shoulders for support. Every muscle in his body is taunt; shaking with force.

Perhaps it was the memory that invaded his brain like a parasite that had made him snap at his superior like that—a stab to his fine tissue that digs all the way down his rail-straight spine.

Piccadilly Circus. Tanto building. Hostage with an explosive vest.

Kyle's fingers bleed as they peel back rough velcro, having ripped off his gloves to be nearer to you.

It all flashes past his mind in horrible increments, the past, but instead of a man—the hostage is you. And Price was burning his neck with a harsh stare once more.

He's going to throw her out the window, Kyle panics and you watch with the deadly realization of the situation. No. No, I won't let him. Not her.

"Garrick," Price says, voice deep. But he doesn't move. "You need to get your head back on."

"I've got it screwed on just right, Captain." Gaz grunts. "Trust me."

12 seconds. 11. 10. 9...

You stare at Gaz and memorize the make of his handsome face—the dates and the late nights speaking about the future sticking to your skin like leeches; sucking away every instance of love and happiness. His laugh. His brown eyes.

His smile.

Oh, you want to see your Love smile.

"Sergeant!" Price yells, moving forward to grapple onto Kyle's shoulder. "It's going off!"

Your boyfriend rips out of his hold, fists clenched and screaming.

"Get the fuck off of me! I can save her!" Your back hits the ground with a slap and a ragged gasp from your lips, the Brit straddling your hips in a desperate play to deactivate the bomb.

"Kyle," you look up at him, pleading. "You have to take cover, it's...it's okay. I love you, I need you to know that—"

"Bloody shut," eyes spark, locking on the bright color under the front of the vest. Gaz snaps a hand under the material and rips at it in a ruthless wrench of his arm. 2 seconds. There's a deafening snap of wire. "Up!"

The beeping stops and the world stills.

Your wide eyes can't stop crying as you stare up into brown eyes with astonishment; struggling to breathe. You can't tell if the building is vibrating or only you, but nothing seems to be able to focus as a wave crashes down on you; adrenaline still striking you.

Everything rings inside of your ears, pounding in your head.

Hands grasp the base of your jaw and lips descend to yours, tears slapping your skin from above in a wave of feral agony. Gaz stifles his sob on your mouth as you shake wildly, panting over your flesh.

Price gives off a large sigh from behind, standing straighter and turning his head.

Gaz's forehead connects with yours, but there are no words to be said—just the silent gazing and lingering fear of death. He won't let go of your cheeks, and, quivering, you go to grasp tightly at the sides of his arms.

With a shuddering breath, he closes his eyes and sags into you.

TAGS:

@luuvbuzz, @emerald-valkyrie, @anna-banana27, @blueoorchid, @cryingnotcrying, @writeforfandoms, @homicidal-slvt, @jade-jax, @frazie99, @elmoees, @littlemisstrouble, @alpineswinter, @phoenixhalliwell, @idocarealot, @lavalleon, @facelessmemories, @h-leigh, @20forty9, @glitter-anon-asks, @emily-who-killed-a-man, @neelehksttr, @aeneanc, @escapefromrealitysm, @i-d-1-0-t, @pparcxysm, @hawkscanendme, @caramlizedtomatos, @konigsleftkidney, @sanfransolomitatm, @maelstrom007, @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet, @pheobees, @glitterypirateduck, @uselsshuman, @fan-of-encouragement, @halfmoth-halfman, @ghostlythunderbird, @I-inkage, @pukbadger, @kopatych11, @0nceinabluem00n, @cocrorapop, @knightofsexyness, @abnormalgeil, @smallseastone, @jacegons, @330bpm-whiplash, @simon-rileys-housewife, @4-atsu, @tiredmetalenthusiast

[wordsnstuff]

Hey, so i'm working on my first WIP, and i wanted to ask about drafting. When can one consider their first draft done? Does it have to have the goal word count (ie; 100K), or would being about halfway there be considered a good enough first draft, that i can move on to the second and start editing?

Concluding each stage of the writing process

It's difficult to know when a phase of a writing project has concluded and you're ready to focus on a new objective as it's developing. I tend to approach my writing projects with a clear and uniform trajectory, regardless of how diverse my projects can be. This approach allows me to remain focused, thorough, and reassured that I am covering all my bases in an organized fashion. However, it also maintains space for me to be explorative and intuitive when necessary. In regards to word count, I don't think it's entirely relevant unless you're determined to adhere to strict genre conventions. Give your story the space it needs and not an extra inch.

(Optional) Zero Draft

In this phase, you're telling yourself the story. You're doing it quickly, messily, intuitively, and forgivingly. Explore every idea that glows in the dark for you, don't throw anything away or discount any possibility. Exhaust your imagination in this phase so that when you reach the first draft, you know you're making informed decisions.

First Draft

You're crafting the structure and core elements of the story. This is often the phase of discovery. You're becoming acquainted with your characters and how they interact, you're beginning to feel at home in the world and settings you've built, and you're seeing all sides of the conflict as it evolves. The goal here is settle on a beginning, middle, and end point, and by the end of this process you want to know your characters' motivations and relationships inside and out.

Second Draft

Go back quickly through the first draft and address any points where you got stuck, where you compromised for the sake of carrying on to the end, and fill in any apparent blanks. The first time you really iron something out, there will always be a few pesky creases. This is the time to find and flatten them.

Third Draft

This is where you question everything. Identify and scrutinize your decisions, dive into the "curtains are blue" discussions with yourself, and begin to tidy up things like grammar, clumsy dialogue, over-poured descriptions, and dubious vocabulary. Comb through each paragraph and be brutal, prioritizing clarity and intentionality of how you've told the story.

The Read Through

This is the point where I recommend doing three things:

Letting it rest away from you for 1-3 months so that you can return to it with a bit of unfamiliarity and new perspective.

Hand it off to a couple of trusted readers and give them ample time to read, digest, and craft some feedback

Reread the project once all the way through making no changes (although annotations are acceptable)

Fourth Draft

Finishing touches. Vigorously and meticulously scrub and scrape between the lines and imagine giving it to your worst enemy. If you can imagine any mean (but valid) things they could conceive of to say about it, this is the time to grapple with or fix those details.

Additional Resources

Guide to Drafting

Word Count/Productivity Tracker Spreadsheet

Balancing Detail & Development

Writing The First Chapter

Writing The Middle of Your Story

Powering Through The Zero-Draft Phase

Writing The Last Chapter

Chapter Length

Happy drafting,

x Kate

[physicallyimprobable]

what's the 3-dimensional number thing?

Well I'm glad you asked! For those confused, this is referring to my claim that "my favorite multiplication equation is 3 × 5 = 15 because it's the reason you can't make a three-dimensional number system" from back in this post. Now, this is gonna be a bit of a journey, so buckle up.

Part One: Numbers in Space

First of all, what do I mean by a three-dimensional number system? We say that the complex numbers are two-dimensional, and that the quaternions are four-dimensional, but what do we mean by these things? There's a few potential answers to this question, but for our purposes we'll take the following narrative:

Complex numbers can be written in the form (a+bi), where a and b are real numbers. For the variable-averse, this just means we have things like (3+6i) and (5-2i) and (-8+3i). Some amount of "units" (that is, ones), and some amount of i's.

Most people are happy to stop here and say "well, there's two numbers that you're using, so that's two dimensions, ho hum". I think that's underselling it, though, since there's something nontrivial and super cool happening here. See, each complex number has an "absolute value", which is its distance from zero. If you imagine "3+6i" to mean "three meters East and six meters North", then the distance to that point will be 6.708 meters. We say the absolute value of (3+6i), which is written like |3+6i|, is equal to 6.708. Similarly, interpreting "5-2i" to mean "five meters East and two meters South" we get that |5-2i| = 5.385.

The neat thing about this is that absolute values multiply really nicely. For example, the two numbers above multiply to give (3+6i) × (5-2i) = (27+24i) which has a length of 36.124. What's impressive is that this length is the product of our original lengths: 36.124 = 6.708 × 5.385. (Okay technically this is not true due to rounding but for the full values it is true.)

This is what we're going to say is necessary to for a number system to accurately represent a space. You need the numbers to have lengths corresponding to actual lengths in space, and you need those lengths to be "multiplicative", which just means it does the thing we just saw. (That is, when you multiply two numbers, their lengths are multiplied as well.)

There's still of course the question of what "actual lengths in space" means, but we can just use the usual Euclidean method of measurement. So, |3+6i| = √(3²+6²) and |5-2i| = √(5²+2²). This extends directly to the quaternions, which are written as (a+bi+cj+dk) for real numbers a, b, c, d. (Don't worry about what j and k mean if you don't know; it turns out not to really matter here.) The length of the quaternion 4+3i-7j+4k can be calculated like |4+3i-7j+4k| = √(4²+3²+7²+4²) = 9.486 and similarly for other points in "four-dimensional space". These are the kinds of number systems we're looking for.

[To be explicit, for those who know the words: What we are looking for is a vector algebra over the real numbers with a prescribed basis under which the Euclidean norm is multiplicative and the integer lattice forms a subring.]

Part Two: Sums of Squares

Now for something completely different. Have you ever thought about which numbers are the sum of two perfect squares? Thirteen works, for example, since 13 = 3² + 2². So does thirty-two, since 32 = 4² + 4². The squares themselves also work, since zero exists: 49 = 7² + 0². But there are some numbers, like three and six, which can't be written as a sum of two squares no matter how hard you try. (It's pretty easy to check this yourself; there aren't too many possibilities.)

Are there any patterns to which numbers are a sum of two squares and which are not? Yeah, loads. We're going to look at a particularly interesting one: Let's say a number is "S2" if it's a sum of two squares. (This thing where you just kinda invent new terminology for your situation is common in math. "S2" should be thought of as an adjective, like "orange" or "alphabetical".) Then here's the neat thing: If two numbers are S2 then their product is S2 as well.

Let's see a few small examples. We have 2 = 1² + 1², so we say that 2 is S2. Similarly 4 = 2² + 0² is S2. Then 2 × 4, that is to say, 8, should be S2 as well. Indeed, 8 = 2² + 2².

Another, slightly less trivial example. We've seen that 13 and 32 are both S2. Then their product, 416, should also be S2. Lo and behold, 416 = 20² + 4², so indeed it is S2.

How do we know this will always work? The simplest way, as long as you've already internalized the bit from Part 1 about absolute values, is to think about the norms of complex numbers. A norm is, quite simply, the square of the corresponding distance. (Okay yes it can also mean different things in other contexts, but for our purposes that's what a norm is.) The norm is written with double bars, so ‖3+6i‖ = 45 and ‖5-2i‖ = 29 and ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90.

One thing to notice is that if your starting numbers are whole numbers then the norm will also be a whole number. In fact, because of how we've defined lengths, the norm is just the sum of the squares of the real-number bits. So, any S2 number can be turned into a norm of a complex number: 13 can be written as ‖3+2i‖, 32 can be written as ‖4+4i‖, and 49 can be written as ‖7+0i‖.

The other thing to notice is that, since the absolute value is multiplicative, the norm is also multiplicative. That is to say, for example, ‖(3+6i) × (5-2i)‖ = ‖3+6i‖ × ‖5-2i‖. It's pretty simple to prove that this will work with any numbers you choose.

But lo, gaze upon what happens when we combine these two facts together! Consider the two S2 values 13 and 32 from before. Because of the first fact, we can write the product 13 × 32 in terms of norms: 13 × 32 = ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖. So far so good. Then, using the second fact, we can pull the product into the norms: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖(3+2i) × (4+4i)‖. Huzzah! Now, if we write out the multiplication as (3+2i) × (4+4i) = (4+20i), we can get a more natural looking norm equation: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖4+20i‖ and finally, all we need to do is evaluate the norms to get our product! (3² + 2²) × (4² + 4²) = (4² + 20²)

The cool thing is that this works no matter what your starting numbers are. 218 = 13² + 7² and 292 = 16² + 6², so we can follow the chain to get 218 × 292 = ‖13+7i‖ × ‖16+6i‖ = ‖(13+7i) × (16+6i)‖ = ‖166+190i‖ = 166² + 190² and indeed you can check that both extremes are equal to 63,656. No matter which two S2 numbers you start with, if you know the squares that make them up, you can use this process to find squares that add to their product. That is to say, the product of two S2 numbers is S2.

Part Four: Why do we skip three?

Now we have all the ingredients we need for our cute little proof soup! First, let's hop to the quaternions and their norm. As you should hopefully remember, quaternions have four terms (some number of units, some number of i's, some number of j's, and some number of k's), so a quaternion norm will be a sum of four squares. For example, ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90 means 90 = 4² + 3² + 7² + 4².

Since we referred to sums of two squares as S2, let's say the sums of four squares are S4. 90 is S4 because it can be written as we did above. Similarly, 7 is S4 because 7 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 1², and 22 is S4 because 22 = 4² + 2² + 1² + 1². We are of course still allowed to use zeros; 6 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 0² is S4, as is our friend 13 = 3² + 2² + 0² + 0².

The same fact from the S2 numbers still applies here: since 7 is S4 and 6 is S4, we know that 42 (the product of 7 and 6) is S4. Indeed, after a bit of fiddling I've found that 42 = 6² + 4² + 1² + 1². I don't need to do that fiddling, however, if I happen to be able to calculate quaternions! All I need to do is follow the chain, just like before: 7 × 6 = ‖2+i+j+k‖ × ‖2+i+j‖ = ‖(2+i+j+k) × (2+i+j)‖ = ‖2+3i+5j+2k‖ = 2² + 3² + 5² + 2². This is a different solution than the one I found earlier, but that's fine! As long as there's even one solution, 42 will be S4. Using the same logic, it should be clear that the product of any two S4 numbers is an S4 number.

Now, what goes wrong with three dimensions? Well, as you might have guessed, it has to do with S3 numbers, that is, numbers which can be written as a sum of three squares. If we had any three-dimensional number system, we'd be able to use the strategy we're now familiar with to prove that any product of S3 numbers is an S3 number. This would be fine, except, well…

3 × 5 = 15.

Why is this bad? See, 3 = 1² + 1² + 1² and 5 = 2² + 1² + 0², so both 3 and 5 are S3. However, you can check without too much trouble that 15 is not S3; no matter how hard you try, you can't write 15 as a sum of three squares.

And, well, that's it. The bucket has been kicked, the nails are in the coffin. You cannot make a three-dimensional number system with the kind of nice norm that the complex numbers and quaternions have. Even if someone comes to you excitedly, claiming to have figured it out, you can just toss them through these steps: • First, ask what the basis is. Complex numbers use 1 and i; quaternions use 1, i, j, and k. Let's say they answer with p, q, and r. • Second, ask them to multiply (p+q+r) by (2p+q). • Finally, well. If their system works, the resulting number should give you three numbers whose squares add to 15. Since that can't happen, you've shown that the norm is not actually multiplicative; their system doesn't capture the geometry of three dimensions.

[brucewaynehater101]

so there's a post or two floating around about Bruce not wanting to be more than a millionaire, of him trying very hard to get rid of his money and ending up a billionaire or even trillionaire anyway

The universe doesn't demand that Tim be ridiculously rich at all times since the universe is of the opinion that he and YJ must remain minors and so rely on their parents/guardians/sketchy scientific creators for financial support. Being a hero isn't cheap and so Tim is actually the primary financial support of his life partners via being involved in Bruce's budgeting just as Bruce is the primary financial support of most of the Justice League.

While the universe doesn't demand that Tim be ridiculously rich at all times, it does demand that he be Bruce's support in some fashion while being overshadowed by his louder siblings. Tim isn't consciously aware of this but when he takes the role of primary shareholder of WE, he's released from being Bruce's emotional support Robin which leaves him a little adrift. He's instead, via the universe, put in the role of creator of wealth for the Wayne family. Tim, being Tim, takes this to extremes and WE actually expands into the greater universe. If a planet is relatively peaceful, there will be at least one branch of WE on that planet that provides jobs and campaigns for the improvement of living standards and causes the Wayne family to be ridiculously wealthy on not just earth but everywhere in the universe where humans can have a reach.

Tim doesn't have a traditional space empire but WE is close enough and even better, he can use the image of Brucie Wayne as a smokescreen of sorts to keep galactic attention away from himself. And the way B has a not quite breakdown, one only obvious to an observant Bat, upon discovering a picture of Brucie Wayne on some random magazine that Hal Jordan brings to a watchtower meeting which lists Brucie Wayne as one of the top ten richest beings on random alien planet makes Tim laugh. He gets the security footage of the incident from the Watchtower. He will take shots from the footage and possibly frame them and give them to his siblings as Christmas presents. Any not Bat who sees the picture will be confused why they have a framed picture of stoic looking Batman. Any Bat that sees the picture will have a hard time not at least smiling at the sight of what is obviously, to them, Batman losing the will to leave and just being Done.

Bruce: (^●_●^)

Tim: 📸

I'm mentally laughing at the image of Bruce crying screaming throwing up at the sight of more zeroes in his bank account.

I dislike wealth disparities, so I'm also imagining Tim trying to give away money the same way someone throws a bucket of water overboard when the ship is sinking. He has lengthy background checks on charities or even creates more social programs to get rid of as much money as he can... which improves people's quality of life, enables them to get jobs at W.E. to earn them money, and provides them income where they can buy W.E. products. Tim's still trying.

This is when Bart gives him the brilliant idea to start doing charity work in space. Surely, since the currency is different, Tim will lose more money than gain. Right?

Wrong :(

[2knightt]

The boys reactions if you asked to do their makeup?

the gangs reactions to you wanting to do their makeup!

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.mentions of putting concealer and foundation on, so like just imagine you bought ones that match them lol

3.swearing and minor violence at the end.

Johnny Cade ;

“johnnycakes, would you let me do your makeup?”

you said looking at your boyfriend sitting on your bed as you did your own makeup at your vanity.

“h-huh? like..on me?”

“yes johnny, on you.”

johnny wanted to object he really did but when you just stared at him he got nervous.

he just nodded his head yes because he didn’t want to disappoint you.

so you smiled as wide as you could and shot up out of your seat.

“really?! you’d let me?”

“huh uh…”

“EEK! well, sit down!!”

johnny sighs as he makes his way over to the chair.

johnny didn’t know what you were gonna do to him!

well, he did have an idea. he watches you do your makeup so often that he’s memorized your routine.

he has to admit, he was scared at first, but when you started to do his makeup he immediately relaxed.

johnny didn’t know you doing his makeup could be this relaxing.

he almost fell asleep!

johnny’s scared of the eyelash curler. he doesn’t like how close it is to his eye.

when you’re finished and you show him the finished product, he can’t help but look at himself at all angles!

“so? did i do good?”

“yeah, real good.”

Dallas Winston ;

only way you’re gonna do his makeup is if you have pity points!

if he forgot something special or you guys just finished settling an argument and he feels bad? you just got yourself dallas winston pity points!

put ‘em to good use.

but if you’re askin’ to do his makeup, i think you are!

“dal..?”

“yea?”

“can i do your makeup?”

expect him to slowly turn his head towards you with shock and disgust.

he has dignity!! he’s a cool tuff grease, what makes you think he’s gonna put ANY sort of makeup on??

“no.”

“well, do you remember the time that you got mad at me for like no reason? you still gotta make it up to me..”

“FINE. i’ll let you do my makeup. just don’t bring that up again.”

you smile as you grab your makeup bag while dallas groans.

if you have one of those cute lil headbands with animal ears on them please put them on him?? it’d be so funny??

“y/n are you fucking kidding me?”

“what do you mean dal? you look so cute!”

dallas has ZERO clue on what you do for makeup.

he doesn’t even know what concealer is.

when your finished he just blankly stares into the mirror while you laugh your ass off.

“this isn’t funny.”

“no-no you’re absolutely right! i-it’s just the fact that thee dallas winston is wearing makeup!”

Ponyboy Curtis ;

“gee, pony. im realll bored..”

when you started anything with ‘gee’ ponyboy knew you were gonna suggest something stupid.

“*sigh* what do you want to do, y/n?”

“you should let me do your makeup!”

ponyboy scrunched his face up at the idea, but the longer he thought about it, the more okay he was.

“okay, just don’t make it wear it out in public as some cruel prank.”

“i would never!”

ponyboy would also be another one to find you doing his makeup relaxing.

he doesn’t close his eyes though, he’s too busy asking and trying to guess what you do with everything.

“oh! what’s that for? is it to like…pluck my eyebrows?”

“no pony, it’s to curl your lashes.”

“what.”

he thinks you beating his face with a beauty blender is ticklish.

“stop moving!! im trying to blend out the foundation!!”

“it ain’t my fault it tickles!”

but when you’re done he definitely forgets it’s on and goes into the living room with the gang in there.

“WOAHHH WHAT’S ON YOUR FACE PONY?”

“you got something to tell us, kid?”

“OH SH-“

and now he’s running to his room to tell you to take it off as you hear the gang laughing like hyenas in the other room.

“y/n, y/n please take this off. i need to go get a pepsi.”

Sodapop Curtis ;

he is absolutely for the idea of you doing makeup on him!

when you asked him he smiled so bright, you could’ve sworn you looked right into the sun!

“love…you should like, let me do your makeup.”

“yeah!! let’s do it!!”

when you get your makeup out, expect him to be touching everything.

the second you put something down, it’s already in his hands.

“ew, why is it sticky?!”

“cause it’s a primer, babe. it’s supposed to be sticky.”

he puts you on his lap while you do his makeup so, ‘you can see better.’

yeah right.

so the whole time while you’re doing his makeup he has his hands around your waist with his eyes closed.

OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HIM PICK THE EYESHADOW COLOUR.

he may pick ugly colours that totally clash, but it’ll make him happy.

“uhh, oh! i like this red and…that purple!”

“…seriously?”

if you put lipstick on him, expect him to try to be kissing you all the time.

“soda!! stop tryin’ to kiss me, i’m trying to put the makeup away!”

“aweee, y/n doesn’t want my kisses…??”

let him have at least one and he’ll feel better.

he DEFINITELY keeps it on all day.

“what the fuck are you wearing?”

“you don’t like it stevey wevey?🥺”

he says while making duck lips in steves direction.

Darry Curtis ;

you have to ask when he’s tired.

because when he’s with you and tired, he’ll let anything you do slide.

so while he’s sitting on his chair with his head thrown back after ponyboy and soda are sleep, it’s the best time to ask.

“hey darry?”

“..yea?”

“since you ain’t doing much, can i..do your makeup?”

his eyebrows immediately tighten at the thought, but after 10 seconds he realizes theres no use in putting up a fight.

“sure doll. just be quick.”

and on that que, you’re rushing to get everything you need!

i don’t see darry liking the feeling of makeup, so this does infact have to be a speedy process.

he doesn’t ask what anything is, he trusts you enough to know what you’re doing.

he does not let you ANYWHERE near his eyes though, it freaks him out too much. but if you’re dead set on doing full glam, expect a long conversation of trying to convince him.

“do you really have to?”

“yes darry, eyeshadow and mascara is the KEY to any makeup look! especially with these pretty browns you have!”

when your done he’ll go look in the bathroom mirror and laugh a little before he asks for you to take it off.

if you’re feeling a little silly funny and goofy, do not take the lipstick off. let it stay there and pray it stays on ‘till the morning.

and if it does? you and the gang will have a field day oh my god.

“wow, super man! what do you do at night?”

“..what?”

“JESUS CHRIST DARRY, WHY DO YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON?”

“…WHAT?!”

Steve Randle ;

unlike his best friend, steve isn’t one for makeup.

he’s ‘too tuff for any of that!’

bullshit!

all you gotta do is twirl your pretty hair and flutter those lashes and he’ll do it.

“aw, c’mon steve! it won’t be too long..”

“fine. but speak of this to anyone and i’ll tell them about last tuesday.”

and that’s how you got steve to sit down all nice and pretty to do his makeup!

he stares at you while you do his makeup.

he doesn’t have a goddamn clue what’s going on.

he barely understands foundation, so please be patient. he will ask what everything does too.

“whats that do?”

“this is blush steve, can’t have you lookin’ like a ghost.”

another one that picks out the eyeshadow colour, expect he actually picks good colours.

he is very aware of the what colours clash and what doesn’t, and he cannot be looking like a clown around you.

“pick which colours!”

“the cream and this blue.”

he is very nervous about the mascara, very.

but once you do one eye, he’ll even blink to help you!

when you’re done he thinks you did a great job!

he might even go terrorize sodapop for the jokes.

“don’t ya think i look pretttttyyy mr.curtis?”

“steve, get out of my house and never come back.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

he isn’t new to makeup in any shape or form.

so if you ask him to do his makeup, he’ll nod his head real aggressively.

“babyy…you should let me do your makeup.”

“i thought you’d never ask!”

his little sister has definitely put makeup on him before, but like, only kiddie makeup.

so when he seen the makeup you had?? he was astonished to say the least.

“woahh! you have actual eyeshadow, and real blush!”

he will sit there looking pretty, kicking his feet as you apply the highlighter to his face.

he licks off the lipstick as soon as you put it on.

he doesn’t mean too! he’s used to his little sisters chapstick that tastes like cherries.

when you’re finished his look, he WILL keep it on with pride.

he doesn’t care.

“two-bit, are you fucking serious.”

“yes i am. my wonderful girlfriend put it on, isn’t she just the sweetest?”

“…”

“I SAID, isn’t she just the sweetest.”

and now he’s a man with makeup, holding a switchblade, threatening someone to call his girlfriend sweet.

author notes ;

1. I LOVE GETTING REQUESTS SO MUCH PLEASEEE KEEP THEM COMING??

2.also, I HAVE 42 FOLLOWERS NOW??? I STARTED NOT EVEN 3 WEEKS AGO???

taglist-ish LMFAO:

@diorgirl444 - i remember you asked to be tagged..TELL ME IF U DONT LOL🙏

may 14th, 2023.

[carmenberzattosgf]

Doing a self care night w carm 🥺 he gets home after the lunch shift to find you bought a bunch of face masks and scrubs for you guys. You giving him a back massage and washing his hair. Ofc you take one of those classic coupley face mask mirror selfies™️. He lets you sit in his lap and trim up his eyebrows 😭

Jesus I just want to take care of him 🧎‍♀️

-🧸

Oh God you get it. You get IT.

The amount of times I have imagined doing my hair routine on Carmy… AH

Like walk with me here. He’s over at your apartment after work and you’ve convinced him to let you do all of your self care things on him.

You tell him the first thing you’re going to do is wash his hair. He’s already getting excited because he thinks you two are about to shower together, but that’s not what you have in mind.

“Come in the kitchen and lay on the counter by the sink. Imma go get the stuff I need from the bathroom.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m washing your hair in the sink. My mom did it for me all the time. It’s a lot easier this way. I already cleaned off the counter for you.”

You return from your bathroom with an arm full of hair products. Carmy is sitting on the countertop, waiting for your next instruction. “Okay, what is all of that for?”

“It’s hair products, Carm. I’ll explain it to you as I go.” You roll up a bathroom towel you brought with you and place it at the edge of the sink. “Can you lay down now?”

Once he’s settled, you turn the faucet on, feeling the temperature of the water with your finger. You use the sink sprayer to wet his hair. You begin by shampooing his hair. “This is a clarifying shampoo. It’s going to cleanse your scalp and your roots.”

“Are you saying my hair is greasy.”

“You do work in a kitchen, you know. Also let’s not ignore the fact you use two in one shampoo and conditioner.” Carmy doesn’t bite back, knowing you’re right. He closes his eyes while your fingertips massage his scalp.

“That feels really nice, baby.”

“Perfect. That’s the goal,” you reply, smiling at him as you rinse out all the shampoo. “Now I’m going to use a deep conditioning treatment. It’ll make your hair feel soft and healthy. It needs to sit for ten minutes, so why don’t you tell me about your day?”

Time goes by quick as Carmy tells you about work. Before you know it the timer on your phone goes off, and you rinse out the conditioner. “Thats it right?” Carmy asks.

“I gotta style your curls! I’ll be quick I promise.” You start to layer on different products, trying to be speedy.

“Okay what is all of this?”

“Oh, well I just put on a leave in conditioner. It does exactly what it sounds like. Right now I’m putting in a styling cream. That’ll keep your hair from being frizzy. Finally I’ll put in a mouse, which will help hold your curls without loosing any volume.”

“I’ve never used any of this before?”

“Carm, it’s a mystery to me how your hair looks so nice. If only you knew the daily struggles of a girl doing her hair.” You put the last touches on his hair, scrunching the product through his locks. “You’re all done now. It just has to dry. Ooo! Let’s do a face mask now!”

Carmy hops off the countertop and follows you to the living room where you already have a variety of sheet masks laid on the coffee table. “So do I just pick any of these?”

“Yep! Completely your choice.” Carmy instantly goes for the panda bear sheet mask. “I had a feeling you would pick that one,” you laugh.

You spend the rest of the night with Carmy watching his favorite shows while you do all of your skincare routine on him. He doesn’t even fight you when you sit on his lap to trim up his eyebrows.

I like to giggle and think that the staff notice the next morning that Carmy’s hair looks really nice and curly AND that his eyebrows are perfectly trimmed. He folds at some point and admits that it was all you, and he played zero part in it.

[iridescentis]

My RTC Production Idea

I have spent the whole of today and all of last night making these moodboards this idea is the only thing I have thought about for the past 24 hours and HERE IT IS

Disclaimer: This is not intended to be realistic I have zero knowledge of theatre or anything really and this is all coming from my imagination. Also this isn't how I imagine all of the characters when I write fics this is just how I picture them for this specific production idea :D

I honestly have no clue if I've missed anything I've been staring at these boards for so long I'm losing my mind but I would LOVE to answer questions and talk about this I have so many thoughts :D

[wumblr]

largest industrial consumers of energy:

largest industrial consumers of water:

gosh, it sure seems suspicious to me that people are spending all this time online arguing about the energy and water consumption of things that are simply not represented on these lists! (AI)

finer points that are too much to ask of a tumblr audience below

google, samsung, taiwan semiconductor, intel, and facebook are among the largest companies consuming energy (globally, in contrast to the US statistics shown above). this is a piddling use of statistics because they are vastly outnumbered by the sheer amount of companies in the industries listed above -- because they have largely monopolized their industries, which is why we've imposed sanctions on computing component imports, why we geopolitically oppose one-china policy on taiwan, why we're doing wargames in the south china sea, why we're crying about the russian nuclear submarine docked in cuba, and why we pulled out of the largest nuclear disarmament project in history -- all because we have no manufacturing capability. however, if you look closely, building out two parallel manufacturing industries for the same product actually consumes more energy than simply doing a business deal with communists, but that would be bad for the optics of the great american myth

gallons per dollar output is not the same as total overall, i.e. wineries rank highly because their product is more expensive per gallon consumed than others, but statista was the best available source. if you want EPA data you have to reckon with the fact that they separate direct water withdrawal from use from the public water supply

this is FAR kinder than the first draft, where i said the reason y'all do this is because you book precisely zero paychecks over Writing Stories For Societal Change and you're upset at the prospect of computing getting passable at it because it threatens to interrupt the cashflow you already do not have and shatter the illusion that you're a helpless baby who can't do anything to improve your circumstances except Imagine Things. the term for this is "feigned innocence" and i flatly do not accept it from people who have all the capability in the world to know better