#zeke being their coach would make me laugh a lot

[kyojinofbraveos]

Volume 23 fake preview : Warriors Baseball team Warriors Summer Camp Warriors Day Care

Okay, is this canon or is this canon???? Yes please???

[erwinsvow]

𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

note: part two to the college headcanons! part one can be found here! i had a lot of fun writing these and i hope everyone enjoys them :) teacher/student dynamic warning for zeke and hange's, and i guess bullying for annie's :/

𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

the very definition of kind-hearted frat boy who doesn’t fit the stereotype he’s been assigned at all

starts off with accounting before realizing he hates math, moves into business management and marketing

the linkedin profile is absolutely popping, 500+ connections and details about every club and organization he’s ever been a part of

the friend that helps everyone find internships and fixes their resumes while offering helpful advice and not being condescending… anyways so that’s how you meet porco

he works at the career center 100% and does various coaching/prep help, and you, pieck’s friend, are in desperate need of an internship

so you’re complaining to your friend as usual, when she tells you to stop by the building and ask for a “pock”

so you do just that, walking in and asking for “pock” and porco is a little stunned by this pretty stranger calling him by a nickname reserved for his close friends, and even then he just barely tolerates it

but he doesn’t want to correct you, especially since you’re being so sweet and he can tell you need some help

so a meeting at the career center slowly turns into facetime calls to review applications and last-minute edits, stopping by your dorm to help you fill out paperwork and walking together to mail it out

i have a feeling porco doesn’t wanna be too forward, and he thinks he’s being very aloof and casual, when he really just seems oblivious

and you cannot tell for the life of you if he likes you or he’s just being friendly since you’re close with pieck

finally after you land the internship and won't have your normal excuse to spend time with him, you get the guts you've been searching for

you tell him about the position later in the day, stopping by the center for hopefully the last time

"by the way, my number's on my resume if you're ever gonna ask me out."

leaves pocky-boy flustered and red and scrambling to ask you out, and you have been happily dating since

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

oh boy

conny is a very typical college kid in the sense that he will sleep through every 8 am class he has, blow off class to go wait in line for the nacho bar, and has adopted the mantra ‘c’s get degrees’

but he is an extremely lovable education major with a focus in history

rarely seen without his shadow sasha, but now that she started dating niccolo, she thinks that conny could use a relationship too, and that it might do him some good to be with a funny, down-to-earth person

thus begins the most grueling two weeks for every girl on campus, as sasha hunts down girls that she thinks would be a good match for her best friend

this includes airdropping a photo of conny to the lecture hall with the caption “would you date this man? serious inquiries only”

creates a fake tinder complete with a google form to narrow down the options

however, none of this is necessary because sasha bumps into you in the smoothie line and causes your triple berry blend to go flying

she helps you clean up and idle conversation leads to you talking about dates and so forth

“well, i’d love to set you up with my best friend? how do you feel about a blind date?”

yes, conny met you, the love of his life, on a blind date set up by sasha with a stranger

it’s one of those funny stories that people don’t believe when you tell them, because how ridiculous is that, but you both think it’s perfect since you get along so well and it made all the waiting worth it

bonus: double dates with sasha and niccolo! fondue night at their apartment, going to the arcade and having to lug up sasha and her food baby while niccolo parks the car, just overall a grand time :)

𝐳𝐞𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

zeke yeager, ph.d. started his new job at university with one rule in mind: absolutely no illicit affairs

he also coaches the club baseball team, because why not get involved on your campus

he really believes that he’s gonna stick with it too, despite the overwhelming number of students who come to his office hours with questions that his less handsome teaching assistants could answer

but no, he doesn’t want to earn a reputation as that professor, and so he heads into the new semester with absolutely no lingering thoughts of an exciting little dalliance to get him through the monotonous days

he knows his huge lecture classes would always come with a few pretty students, but it’s the smaller, upper-level psych class he’s teaching when he meets you for the first time

zeke has you all figured out, or so he thinks. sitting in the front row, raising your hand for questions he wasn’t expecting anyone to actually have an answer to, neatly handwritten notes in a color-coded notebook. he wouldn’t peg you for the type to jump and take the risk by starting a relationship with a professor.

but he soon realizes that he didn’t have you as figured out as he thought he did.

you avoid the gaggle of freshmen during office hours by scheduling meetings instead, sometimes right before class, coming to him with two cups of coffee and a wide smile that actually had him fooled into thinking you were here for academic reasons

this facade quickly fades though, because after a semester of interactions with you and getting more and more comfortable with each other, to the point where coffee orders are memorized and it’s zeke rather than professor yeager, you’ve had just about enough

he knows he’s fucked when you come visit him at practice for the baseball team, bringing him a drink and engaging in conversation while the players watch their coach flirt with you

he’s especially fucked when he realizes he’s looking forward to practice just because there’s a chance you’ll stop by on your way to your next class

you submit your final paper early, nearly a week before it’s due and of course the first in the class to do so, and waltz into his office the next day with another steaming cup of his favorite drink

“you submitted your paper pretty early, you know.”

“i know. i also know that it means i’m not your student anymore, so if you were going to make a move, now’s the time.”

no, he definitely had underestimated how much he knew about you.

𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

mikasa is a forensic sciences major and is still debating on the minor- she’s torn between criminal justice or history like armin.

she loves her major classes, but she just wants something else interesting to look forward to as well, so armin suggests sitting in on a couple classes early in the semester and getting a taste for it.

so you don’t really think twice when she claims the empty seat next to you on the first day of classes, smiling politely and paying attention to the professor. you do notice, however, that she’s not writing anything down or looking at the syllabus, leading you to strike a conversation on why that is.

she explains herself and then before you even know it, the lecture ends and you spent the last forty minutes talking to mikasa about anything and everything.

she’s sitting in on another class tomorrow, and absent mindedly invites you to come along, to which you agree all too quickly, because why wouldn’t you

numbers are exchanged, times are fixed, and mikasa leaves wondering why she’s so excited at the idea of sitting with you in class again.

you two hate the history class she had chosen, with the professor droning on and on and you being focused entirely on the conversation you’re having with mikasa

until the professor kicks the two of you out for not shutting up, that is

you’re both laughing hysterically once you reach the hallway

“i’m gonna have to discourage you from doing that history minor if that’s what all the classes are like.”

“well, i have to do criminal justice so we can have that class together, anyways.”

𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭

true to form, annie goes into one of the most difficult majors: cheg. definitely flies through intro courses with straight As and minimal effort, but that’s also mostly because all she and bertholdt do is study

reiner tries his hardest to get her to go to a party every once in a while, but usually to no avail because she always has an exam to study for

you’re a tutor, and honestly, you’d say you were pretty good at your job. you can answer questions and explain reasonings fairly well to confused students. but when annie comes to your office hours with some complicated problems and she’s asking for explanations that you just don’t have, you literally feel your face burn with heat for the entirety of the time she’s there

long story short, your first encounter is embarrassing, to say the least. you’re stumbling over words as you try to look through your old notes and piece together an answer for annie, who you cannot even look in the eyes.

anyways, she leaves eventually and you want a hole to open in the ground and swallow you up, but at least she won’t be back next week, right?

wrong.

miss leonhart doesn’t know how to express her feelings any better than you, so her way of flirting is spending time with you in the tutor center as you fail to answer her questions time and time again

you want to scream at her to stop coming because she and you both know you’re not helping either of you with this

but also you really don’t want her to stop coming because you don’t have any other ways to see her outside of class

both of you reach your wit’s end on the same day, her coming to you with the absolute easiest problems she could find in the textbook, and you with every intention of asking her out to dinner

she opens her book, and you reach and close it quickly

“unless this is the only way you know how to flirt, something has to change now.”

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐳𝐨𝐞

dr. zoë teaches, just, way too many classes

we’re talking multiple chemistry labs and upper-level research courses as well

you’re just a ph.d. student doing rotations as per usual, and you’ve heard the comments from students senior to you about dr. zoë, who makes every student in rotation say hange instead of the formal way you’re used to

you’ve heard everything from crazy to genius and everything in between

what you weren’t expecting was… so good looking, and young? and comforting? and talking about all the things that you didn’t have the guts to bring up with other people, like how you always feel a little left out in the field and that you think no one cares about your research interests that much—a lot of stuff that you find yourself pouring out to hange on your very first day in the lab

you’re wondering why it’s so easy to talk to them, and why none of the other rotations ever felt this comfortable

and then you realize you’re spilling your guts to someone who probably doesn’t even care, and has way more to deal with on their plate than a ph.d. student with imposter syndrome

so you’re apologizing right after you’ve finished, when you’re met with the warmest look and a reassuring hand on your shoulder

it’s so easy to fall after that, with weekly meetings and regular check-ins, and you know it’s wrong to have this strange crush on your superior, but hange really feels like the one person you can count on here

you hide the crush in favor of getting the mentorship you desperately think you need, but it’s not long until you’re onto the next rotation and the next lab’s work is even closer to the stuff you love

you hate the way you feel, that you’re not gonna have any reason to keep in touch and you never even got to explain how you feel about them—and that you didn’t even get to experience hange’s energy because she was always listening and helping you out

it’s not until you get a text the night before your first day in the new lab from hange, filled with reassuring words and asking for a coffee date later in the week to talk about how it goes, that you realize just how well hange understood you

𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

last but not least, miss pieck is double majoring in french and public health

absolutely obsessed with her majors and loves the subjects, but works herself to death to keep up with it all

you don’t even realize that the pretty, studious girl you’re seeing in the library all the time is the same girl you spot with some of your friends from class

pieck is as oblivious as they come. you invite her on study dates after you two are introduced by reiner, invite her to get coffee after a particularly late night of studying, pretty much start spending most of your days together

you can’t help but be disappointed that pieck doesn’t see you in that way, because you’ve slowly been falling head over heels, but you accept that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, and you still love the friendship you two have

it takes a while for things to click for pieck, but they do right as the semester eases up

once exams are over, you two decide to go to these famous parties porco and reiner never stop talking about

it’s not the usual scene you’re comfortable with, but what’s wrong with letting loose a little, especially after midterms? no harm in having fun, right?

wrong again! you definitely get plastered way too quickly, and eventually pieck takes you to a room to settle down

drunk confessions of love aren’t usually the way to go, but you can’t help but reveal everything you’ve been feeling for the last few months when pieck is taking care of you in your current state

you definitely wake up hungover and ignorant to last night’s shenanigans, but you’re in your dorm, with a bottle of water and ibuprofen on the nightstand, phone plugged in and shoes off

pieck comes back with breakfast, coffee and your favorite pastries, and checks up on you

“so.. about last night..”

“i’m so sorry, did i throw up on you?”

“no, but you did say you were in love with me. was that just a drunk thing, or is it a sober thing too? because i think i’m in love with you too.”

[m1ckeyb3rry]

🌫 https://m1ckeyb3rry.tumblr.com/post/680827745541013504

please bc hadrian omds… i picture him kinda like eren but also not really at all like ??😭 and xanthe would simply be so so so gorgeous just yeah 😭

HE WOULD LOVE CREEP LMFAO HES SO EMO HE WOULD PROBABLY SECRETLY BE THINKING LIKE “omg i relate to this so much” LMFAOOO I CANT WITH HIM… he would also love no surprises. ok maybe colt’s fashion is not atrocious like i thought it would be but him being a highlighter kid makes me think he would’ve been one of those obnoxious soccer/football boys when he was younger but grew up to not be so obnoxious for sure😭 i just hope friedrich wouldn’t wear skinny jeans but i’m glad his fashion isn’t questionable- and YES y/n would probably just wear whatever but you’re right i can’t imagine her having super terrible fits so fair enough lol. and friedrich would sooo be a dry texter without a doubt just one of those people where it’s better to have an irl convo with them 💀and yea i love these modern hcs bc i like mildly slandering them even just a little 😭

he has similar coloring to eren (except his skin is a lot more tan and his eyes don’t have much if any blue in them) but they have like opposite vibes. if you combine s1 reiner, eren, and s3 levi you might get kinda close to hadrian?? but not really. he’s honestly difficult to pin down i haven’t seen any art that’s able to really do him justice. like this man is SO GOOD LOOKING.

FRIEDRICH PLAYED CREEP ONE (1) TIME IN THE CAR AND Y/N AND COLT ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM LAUGHING 😭😭😭 he would be like “guys…it’s a good song 😕” and they just can’t talk to him for a solid week without giggling.

modern au colt definitely is a baseball player (with zeke as his coach ofc) but he was def the kid that was annoyingly obsessed with every sport imaginable when he was younger. he mellows out a ton w age, now he’s the one who’s winning games and getting cheered on 🥱 y/n and friedrich are his biggest fans <3 friedrich would def do some shit like boxing (throwback to when he beat y/n up) and y/n is canonically a VERY fast runner and swimmer so she’d probably either swim or do track. or triathlon!!

friedrich texts with full sentences and periods and proper grammar. he’s so dry but he’s always on his phone so y/n and colt don’t even bother texting him anymore they just go straight to calling if they need something. he would always pick up on the first ring though.

I LOVE SLANDERING ALL OF THEM IT’S SO FUNNY. the only one whose modern version hasn’t been bullied yet is y/n but we make fun of her actual self so it’s fine

[jessieliveblogs]

Aces in Hockey

Written for the prompt: Total au! 2.9k (Ao3)

Four was quiet by nature. He was a classic former victim of child abuse: strong, silent, enigmatic. He didn’t mean to be. He didn’t try. Any first-year psych student could tell you about the conditioning environment in his formative years to make him like this. And more than one first-year psych student had.

He was allowed to be quiet on the ice.

Not during actual play, obviously. He was the captain – constantly making calls to his team and conferring with coaches. But he stayed out on the ice after practice, letting everyone else go shower in the locker room as he made lazy circles on the ice. It was a calming cool-down, reminding him of times when he would spend hours on the pond just to be out of the house. He’d skate circles until his feet were way past aching and chew up the ice far past what was safe. He no longer had to worry about falling through the ice in the rink but there were other dangers.

“Please tell me your dramatic brooding is coming to a close. We do need the ice, you know.”

Four kept his head ducked, concealing the slight smile that he could feel quirking his face.

“Just because I’m the strong and silent type doesn’t mean every one of my actions is brooding,” he answered before turning to the voice.

She stood just inside the door on the ice. She was half-dressed in her skates and hockey pants but she hadn’t put her pads on yet, standing there in Under Armour and a backwards snapback pulled over head. He was glad to see she looked more teasing than genuinely angry: a recent development he was more than happy about.

“Well now I just feel lied to,” she said. “You think every young-adult book and movie in existence would just lie?”

Four shook his head, his chuckle probably too low for her to hear. He knew she knew he was laughing anyway.

“I still have twenty minutes before your practice, Tris,” he reminded her.

“No, the ice crew has twenty minutes before my practice to fix this mess your team left us.” She crossed her arms in an intimidating display no one who was that small should pull off. “But they can’t do that until you get off the ice.”

Four sighed, skating toward her. “I don’t know why none of them could tell me that.”

Tris backed up to let him through the door, following him out. “They’re all afraid of you. Duh. Remember the dramatic brooding I mentioned?”

Four leaned against the wall, putting on his skate guards, and watched Tris as she did the same. “Not you, though.”

Tris looked over at him, balancing on the blade of one skate. She smirked. “What do I have to be afraid of?”

He smiled back.

This easy camaraderie between the two hockey captains was not always so easy. They started out in pre-semester barely acquainted yet antagonistic.

It was August and Four had been doing his same slow circles on the ice when this tiny, angry girl stormed onto the ice.

“Hey hot-shot! You mind getting off the ice? Your time ended an hour ago.”

Four skidded to a stop, more confused than anything by this interruption. “So?”

She dramatically rolled her eyes. “So, it’s my ice time now. Move.”

Four assessed her. Slight build, powerful looking legs. Figure skater?

“You can have this half,” he offered, diplomatically. “I’ll stay on the other side.”

She looked furious. “Are you an idiot? We need the whole rink! What do you think we’re trying to do here?”

He was even more confused now. “Who is we?”

“The women’s hockey team!” She seethed. “I know there’s a sexism problem at this school – and in sports as a whole – but I would think that the captain of the men’s team could at least acknowledge that the women’s team might need to practice, too.”

“Oh!” He would never have pegged this small girl for a hockey player. He’d seen them play but he was sure he’d never seen someone this small. “The women’s team don’t usually practice this early.”

“Well, we do now. And if you’d bothered checking the rink schedule, you’d know that.”

Four looked at her some more. She wasn’t wrong: he shouldn’t be on the ice this long after their time ended. But he didn’t like the way she talked to him.

“Does your captain know you’re out here?”

She seemed to grow three whole inches.

“I am the captain,” she told him, her voice low and dangerous.

Four’s eyebrows shot up. He gave her another once over. “You’re Prior?”

“Tris,” she said by way of a yes. “So you have heard of me.”

He had. A sophomore being voted captain was incredibly rare. She’d been the lead scorer last season, earning herself a hat trick in the playoffs. Four himself had seen it happen. But he couldn’t reconcile this tiny angry girl with the fast and ruthless number 6 he’d seen play last spring.

Well, maybe the ruthless part.

He took off his glove, extending his hand to the diminutive captain. “I’m Four.”

She took his hand, squeezing roughly. “I know who you are, Tobias Eaton.”

He looked squarely into her eyes, squeezing her hand back so he could feel her knuckles grinding together. “It’s Four.”

Tris didn’t flinch. He actually thought he might see the beginning of respect behind her eyes.

“Get out of my rink, Four.”

 And he had. They had a grudging respect for each other since that day, calling each other on their bullshit and supporting each other’s teams through the season. Four was a fifth year Criminology student and managed to hold onto the captaincy in his final year. Tris, too, had held onto her title and Four suspected she’d keep it until she graduated. What could be said? They were good at their jobs.

Despite the grudging respect, Four wouldn’t have thought of he and Tris as friends. Not until Tris invited him out for trivia night.

“It’s just my brother,” she’d said, rolling her eyes. “I invite him because he’s smart and I’m in it to win, but he’s awkward around girls. Will you come and be a buffer?”

“Come with you and your friends?”

Tris had snorted. “You’re my friend too, doofus.” And then she’d punched him on the shoulder.

So he’d gone to trivia night.

 It wasn’t as awkward as he’d feared. He hadn’t really spent time with anyone since his best friend, Zeke, had graduated last year. The problem with a 5-year degree is that all of your friends are done in 4. Luckily, it seemed Four now had younger friends.

He knew Tris’s friends, Christina and Lynn, from the women’s hockey team. He only knew their numbers, of course, and had never spoken to them, but they could all fall back on hockey discussion if there was a lull.

Caleb Prior was a completely different story.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in total egalitarianism but the state of equity is completely dependant on the will of a nation’s constituents, and the arc of apathy in this nation in particular will drive us to total corruption. Socialism is a pipe dream, and without financial equity, the opportunity of total egalitarianism is just not feasible.”

Four threw back the rest of his whiskey. “Right.”

Trivia hadn’t even started yet and Caleb had ranted about six different political issues he felt were of the utmost importance. He also had mentioned that he was a Libertarian no less than 15 times.

Four eventually understood why Caleb was there when the trivia started. He may be a pseudo-intellectual – a pretentious blowhard who tried too hard to seem smart – but that definitely lent itself to him knowing a lot of menial shit.

And, for whatever reason, Caleb had decided Four was his new best friend.

“I just don’t get it,” Caleb had said, hair a little more disheveled than when he’d come in. Four had discovered early that he got more tolerable the more he drank so he had kept buying Caleb sea breezes. “I never got it when Beatrice wanted to play as kids. What’s so great about hitting things with sticks and getting hit by bigger people who also have sticks?”

Caleb was the only person that called her Beatrice. Her teammates called her 6. Everyone else called her Tris. But Caleb seemed to have that family privilege.

Four shrugged. He’d started responding to Caleb’s questions halfway through trivia which only made Caleb talk to him more but Four was drunk enough not to care.

“Why do people want to be gladiators?”

“Well, historically, the Roman gladiators were actually sold into it through the prison system or as some kind of raid against Christianity–”

“Fun,” Four told him, deadpan. He took another shot. “Glory.”

“But no one remembers the specific gladiators,” Caleb shot back, almost smug. “We remember the politicians and scholars of that time.”

Four snorted. “What use is glory once you’re dead?” He asked. “Back in ancient Rome, women would buy vials of the sweat of their favorite gladiators to wear around their necks. That kind of devotion is what real glory really is. And it can help you while you’re alive, even.”

Caleb reeled back, impressed. “There’s something to that argument.”

Four raised his glass in acknowledgement, shooting it back in one.

He hadn’t meant to get that drunk which meant when the party at the bar broke up, and Caleb had left, Tris treated him with simultaneous guilt and annoyance.

“Jesus Christ, I know my brother is hard to put up with but was this much alcohol intake really necessary?”

Four chuckled, much looser around her than he normally would be. “He’s not so bad.”

This only seemed to alarm Tris. “Oh God, it’s worse than I thought. Come here.”

She slung Four’s arm around her shoulder and started frog marching him out. He’d been more drunk before. He figured he could probably walk under his own steam without embarrassing himself. But he let himself be manhandled because a) Tris may be tiny but he knew she was strong enough to handle his weight and b) it was a good excuse to be close to Tris without all the gross implications that would normally come with Four intentionally getting close to her.

This had been a problem for him for a while. He had a crush on Tris – of course he had a crush on Tris – but he couldn’t have crushes like normal people. Because crushes come with expectations of follow-through. And Four could only follow-through so much.

What he could do though was enjoy the movement of muscles beneath Tris’s skin as she maneavoured him. That he could enjoy a lot.

She dropped him bodily into the passenger seat of her Prius and it became a game of Tetris trying to fit all of his limbs in the tiny space. Four pretended to be more drunk than he was so he wouldn’t have to do any of the work. He wasn’t proud of it. But it was funny to see Tris struggle.

She didn’t seem to have any reservations about touching him – grabbing his thighs and shoulders in a perfunctory, practical way. He appreciated that but he was curious about it. He knew now that they were friends now but he also might have thought that they had… maybe… been flirting a little bit. Was he reading things wrong?

Sober Four might have ruminated on that. He might have anguished over it, brooded over it, considered it thoroughly before dismissing it entirely.

Drunk Four did no such thing.

“I probably could have done that,” he told her as she herself collapsed into the driver’s seat. “I’m not that drunk.”

Tris snorted as she started the car.

“I’m too drunk to drive my bike home,” Four corrected, grimacing. He hated leaving his bike overnight. “But I can move my own body.”

Tris raised her eyebrow at him, not looking away from the road. “Then why didn’t you?”

Four shrugged, his body doing this weird tilting thing in his slump. “You were doing such a great job.”

Tris snorted again, but this time she was smiling.

“I actually had a question about that,” he continued, his brain vaguely yelling in the distance.

“Oh?”

Four nodded, pulling himself more upright. “We’ve been flirting and stuff, right?”

Tris’s head jerked back a little, a subtle sign that she was surprised he’d brought it up. “Yeah. Yes, we’ve been flirting.”

“Right.” Four nodded. “So did you manhandle me so impersonally because you were being respectful or because you’re not attracted to me?”

Her surprise was more pronounced now. “Uh…”

Four waited, staring beningly at the side of her face while she drove.

She seemed to puzzle over this question for a while before slumping in her seat. “I’m not sure what answer you want. Because my answer is a little of both.”

Four nodded again. “That is pretty close to the answer I want.”

Tris looked over at him in a double take before looking back to the road. “It is?”

“Yeah,” Four said, slumping into the seat again. “For one, it’s honest. And I like honesty.” He lolled his head to look out the window. “But also I’m asexual so I’d rather you weren’t sexually attracted to me. That would make things easier.”

The voice that had been vaguely yelling at him was now very present in the middle of his forehead. Intellectually (or as intellectually as he could be in his drunken state) he knew there was very little risk in coming out to her. She’d basically admitted the same thing. Well, she hadn’t – she could just mean that flirting with him meant nothing and she wasn’t attracted to him, even romantically. Maybe he didn’t think this through. Maybe that’s why the voice was yelling.

Because he’d never come out to anyone. Not to any girl, anyway. Not anytime it mattered. Zeke knew but only because Zeke had helped him figure it out. No one else knew.

He’d had crushes but he’d let them go, not bothering to take things further knowing he could never go far enough. This thing with Tris felt a little more high stakes. For one, they were both captains of their respective teams that worked very closely together. Four had spent more time with Tris over the past year and a half than anyone else he went to school with. It would be super awkward if things didn’t work out between them.

But also, he had feelings for Tris. Real feelings. It felt high stakes because he’d graduated from casual crush sometime last spring. He was in full-on-infatuation land now. He’d get through a rejection but it would be ten years, probably, before he put himself out there again.

He definitely shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. He shouldn’t have agreed to come out with her in the first place. He should have just pined his way to graduation. That would have been better, probably.

All of this internal turmoil happened between breaths. Between him speaking and Tris asking, “Things like dating?”

Four’s nod was strained, already regretting his entire life and feeling more sober than he’d felt before he’d even left for trivia night. “Things like dating. And the whole ‘asexual’ conversation.”

“Oh, you mean the conversation where people ask if you’re a plant? And that’s if they’ve even heard the word ‘asexual’ before. Usually it’s ‘what’s that?’ and ‘You’ll grow out of it.’ Or, my favorite, ‘All women feel like that but you have to have sex if you want to get a boyfriend.’”

Four blinked. “Yeah.”

Tris snorted. “Yeah. I’m familiar.”

Four sat up, slowly. “So we don’t have to have that conversation.”

“No. I would rather we didn’t.”

Four watched Tris drive. Her cheeks had pinked slightly but she was smiling, softly.

He waited until she’d parked outside of his apartment. He hadn’t known she knew were it was.

“I’ll see you at the rink?”

Tris turned to him, smirking in full force. “Yes, you will.”

 And she did. She barged onto the ice during his post-practice cool down, as usual, but instead of yelling at him, she smiled.

“Let’s go out.”

Four could feel his mouth start to spread in a grin. He bit it down. “Like a date?”

“Like a lot of dates,” she answered. She needed to crane her neck to look up at him but her confidence and her presence made her fill up the whole room. “Be my boyfriend. Let’s be that cliche. The captain of the girl’s and boy’s team are boyfriend/girlfriend. It’ll be gross. We have to.”

Four’s stomach jumped at the word ‘girlfriend.’ He’d given up a long time ago on ever having one of those.

“Well, if we have to.” He grinned.

She grinned back, reaching up (and up and up) to cup his cheek. “Can I kiss your face?”

“I would love for my girlfriend to kiss my face.”

Which was a good thing too because he had to do most of the work to bend down to her. Her lips were soft and undemanding.

Which was exactly what he hoped the rest of their relationship would be.

[ifitzpatrick]

The Many Loves of Tina Belcher

Tina Belcher. The woman we all aspire to be. Throughout Bob’s Burgers, Tina has shown that she can be a grown ass woman in a lot of situations, but she’s even more grown when it comes to her love life. She wants what she wants and she doesn’t care how embarrassed she needs to get in order to obtain it. That’s the beauty of Tina Belcher, she’s taking her budding sexuality by the balls and not stopping until she lands herself a keeper.

There have been a couple of boys in Tina’s life since the start of the show, but what about the others? What about the new ones? For Valentine’s Day, I’ve ranked the Top Ten Loves in Tina’s life (so far…). This list goes from super bad to the best of the best. Let’s all hope the Tina finds the true love of her life.

10. Jonas Jonas is… a piece of work. Jonas is a delivery boy and a passing crush of Tina’s in the episode “Uncle Teddy.” (S4E14) In the episode, he basically uses his looks to take advantage of  Tina to gain access to the restaurant for him and his friends. Not cool, Jonas, not cool. Tina’s absolutely hypnotized by Jonas’ good looks instead of seeing him for who he really is. We’ve ALL been there before, for better or for worse, but thankfully, Tina wakes up and Teddy gives him and his moped a great off the cliff treatment to wake HIM up. Also, he plays a melodica, which honestly sounds like the coolest instrument in the world if Jonas wasn’t playing it. It’s wasted on an awful, awful boy! 9. Nathan In “Beefsquatch” (S2E9), Nathan was a massive fan of Get On Up with Chuck and Pam. He went to every taping, but couldn’t get close to Pam, who he had a super duper deep odd weirdo crush on. In an attempt to taste her hair, he starts dating Tina because Bob and Gene had a segment on the show, so she had backstage pass access to his crush. Nathan is another piece of work who basically used Tina for his own personal gain. He’s super terrible. That’s it. He also totally has the signs to be an abusive boyfriend? The way he speaks to Tina telling her “don’t tell me how to love you” and just in general being a terrible human specimen of a boy, really rubs you the wrong way. *blows raspberries at Nathan*

8. Joe Harrison There will be a lot of boys with J names on this list and Joe Harrison is another one that Tina will probably never get. Tina develops a small crush on Joe Harrison when she makes eye contact with him in the episode “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?” (S7E5) She purposes puts herself in detention after messing with Mr. Frond’s display in order to make more eye contact with him and at the end of the day, he totally looks her way.

I honestly want to know more about Joe Harrison! I want to know what Joe Harrison is about! He looks like a pretty decent kid and the fact that he made eye contact with Tina has got to mean something, right? I say we bring Joe Harrison back, have him fall in love with Tina and give him more screentime! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!  

7. Tammy Larsen First, don’t look at me like that. Second, give me a chance to explain myself and this choice. Tina has NEVER had a crush on Tammy or vice versa, I acknowledge that, but they have all of the ingredients for the classic trope of enemies to lovers. It would be kinda cool if Bob’s Burgers gave a super twist to Tina’s next love interest, but I acknowledge that it probably won’t happen.

Just think about it for a second. Tina and Tammy are basically rivals but they started out as friends first. Tammy usually says really mean things to Tina, but Tina always comes back just as hard (if she gets a word in edgewise). Tammy is almost always a little jealous of Tina and Tina still thinks that they can be friends, but after all the mean things that Tammy and Tina say to each other, I think they have the potential to look past middle school drama bombs and develop crushes on each other. Listen, I know this is wishful thinking, let me have my dream.

6. Jeff Oh Jeff. The best ghost boyfriend who ever lived, until you know… he wasn’t. “Tina and the Real Ghost” (S5E2) introduced us to Jeff, a ghost who supposedly lived in the basement of the restaurant. After Linda, Gene, Louise and Tina talk to the ghost, they find out that he’s a 13 year old boy. This really makes Tina happy, which we all love to see. They go out on little dates like a butterfly exhibit, but after they become ghost-boyfriend and girlfriend, Jeff “switches” girlfriends and wants to date Tammy instead, breaking it off with Tina via steamed message on the bathroom mirror. Well, spoilers, it turned out that Louise was playing everyone into thinking that Jeff was real, Tammy was playing everyone into thinking Jeff switched girlfriends and Tina, in the end, gets a bit of a last laugh.

Jeff was an interesting boyfriend for Tina. I actually liked them together quite a bit. When Tina took Jeff to the butterfly exhibit, and a butterfly landed on her nose as Jeff was giving her butterfly kisses, I couldn’t help but smile. She needs that kind of attention and love from someone. Even though he wasn’t a physical boy, it was really cute to see Tina in a state of being caring and cute with a boy.

5. Darryl DARRYL. I love Darryl so much. I don’t think he’s right for Tina though, but he does know how to treat a woman after some Hitch-type coaching. In “Can’t Buy Me Math” (S5E11), he and Tina hatch a plan to date each other in order to get their actual crushes, Rose Batista and Jimmy Jr. In order to do this, they would need to win ‘Cupid’s Couple’ at the Valentine’s Day dance. Tina coaches Darryl in the meantime on how to be a boyfriend, which worked… a little too well.

They break up after the dance in front of Jimmy Jr., Rosa, and most of the school. Tina starts to get jealous of Darryl and Rosa, believing that she really does have feelings for Darryl and ends up breaking up Rosa and Darryl for a little while. Thankfully, she fixes their relationship, but Tina is still left alone. Darryl is a really great guy to be in a relationship with though. He’s one of the best guys ever. Have you heard that voice? *melts*

4. Jordan Cagan In the episode “The Land Ship” (S6E2), Tina attempts to spice up her life and hang out with Ghost Boy, who she discovers, is Jordan Cagen, a fellow Wagstaff student, underneath it all. To be all the fair, before they “did something like kissing”, this was a relationship that Tina could easily blend into and… was actually pretty cool for her. Jordan was a “bad boy” with his graffiti tag, but he introduced a polite kind of bad dude that is actually kinda cool for Tina to be with.

Tina had to make the impossible decision either to help Jordan with his master plan of painting Ghost Boy on the Land Ship OR deciding to cover it up. She decided the latter, putting her relationship with him in a downfall. Even though Jordan was one of the cool choices for Tina, I have to put him at #4 for his kissing skills. He… is a terrible kisser. Tina even said that it was hard for her to breathe when he kissed her, but — to give him some credit — Tina was his first kiss, so one day, he will hopefully learn how to not smother anyone with his mouth.

3. Jimmy Pesto Jr. Jimmy Pesto Jr. is the WORSSSSSTTTTTTTT. Tina has pinned over Jimmy since the beginning, but he hasn’t yet realized how in love with her he really is. There’s just something about Jimmy that she just can’t get over (his butt), but some of us just really wish she would. Tina has “logged over 3000 fantasy hours with him”, but the way he treats her is like she’s an afterthought. Jimmy likes the attention that he gets from Tina even though, most of the time, he seems annoyed by it. That is, until Tina is around another boy, he all of a sudden becomes jealous and needs her to be with him.

Jimmy is the boy you’ve pined over, doesn’t want you, but when you find someone better… you’re the most important girl in his life. Tina deserves better than Jimmy Pesto Jr. and his wishy washy attitude. After “The Land Ship” (S6E2), it seems like they were going on a path that might lead to more. BUT BUT BUT, that doesn’t excuse the fact that, JIMMY IS STILL THE WORSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTT. I only put him as #3 because of Tina’s logged fantasy hours with him and the fact that when he IS good to Tina… he’s actually kinda dope.

2. Zeke Hear me out. I love Tina and Zeke together for a lot of different reasons. Reason #1, his name doesn’t begin with J, so that’s an automatic plus. Reason #2, he pays attention to Tina WAY more than almost anyone else has. I think Tina and Zeke could probably be a potentially cool couple if they both gave each other a chance. A couple of episodes that really helps my theory start with “Broadcast Wagstaff School News.” (S3E12) When Tina was researching who the Mad Pooper was. It was discovered that Zeke was the one who was pooping all over the school, but he was going to stop until he noticed that the story was important to Tina, so he continues. I mean… can you think of a better way to get a girl’s attention?

“Midday Run” (S5E8) is another episode that really catches their cuteness together because they’re basically stuck together for half of the episode. Zeke even says to Tina, ““Damn Tina, now I got a story to tell on our wedding day. You think that’s not gonna happen, but I’ll getcha girl! I’m gonna getcha!” HOW CUTE IS THAT?! I think Zeke would be a perfect match for Tina at the end of the day. He pays WAY more attention to what she wants and he’s actually super sweet underneath it all. Zeke’s a great guy. I will fight someone who doesn’t think so.

1. Josh LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT. TINA COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL WITH JOSH AND SHE BLEW IT.

*takes a deep breath*

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system. Josh could and would have been perfect for Tina if she didn’t let her greed get in the way. Josh first met Tina in a blind date situation in the episode “Lindapendent Woman” (S3E14). It was interesting to watch them get along behind the dairy freezer. It would have been interesting to see this relationship carry on for awhile. Josh seems very sweet towards Tina and super attentive to her needs.

However, in “Two for Tina” (S3E17), Tina has to decide to go to the dance with Josh or Jimmy Jr. Josh treats her so kindly and Jimmy Jr. only wants her because another boy has her. By the time they get to the dance, the boys engage in a dance off for Tina’s attention. Tina does the one thing that will either make or break something. It’s always lovely when a character wants to make polyamory work, however, the boys were not about that type of life and they left her alone. She could have had it all! OR at least Josh! Josh is and always will be the best boy for Tina because of his absolute sweetness and his epic dancing skills. I wish Tina and Josh would work out.

*side eyes to Bob’s Burgers writers*

[itsfreesportstips-blog]

The Cowboys Are Now Fully Dak Prescott’s Team. He Says He’s Ready

OXNARD, Calif. — The excuses might as well be right there for Dak Prescott, sitting on the coffee table in this spacious Residence Inn guest room. He could tell you that his NFL sophomore slump was thanks to Dez Bryant and Jason Witten getting older. Or to some moving parts along the offensive line. Or to Zeke Elliott’s suspension. Or to the fact that expectations were out of whack coming off his starry rookie campaign. The now-firmly-installed face of America’s Team reached for none of those. And that’s probably why the people around Cowboys camp talk about him like they do. “It was me,” Prescott told me on Saturday, without a second of hesitation. “It’s just about being more consistent. I simply was trying to do too much last year. And as I was trying to do too much, I was getting away from my simple reads. I was maybe passing by my second read to try to get to my third read, or skipping over one or two, trying to get to the big throw early, rushing things. “I was wanting to make that big play, I was wanting to do the spectacular. coach Mullen told me when I was in college, a lot of being a quarterback is making a lot of unspectacular plays that don’t necessarily look great but turn out to be the right thing. And so I think in Year 2, I was simply trying to do too much.” In some ways, the 2018 Cowboys will need more from Prescott, and he knows it. But it’s probably not in the ways you’re thinking. That’s what he learned going through last year. The idea of taking over after losing a big name or two, and trying to be more as a quarterback? He’s been through that, and now, as he sees it, is when his growth will come through taking an approach counter to all of that. “I have bigger and higher expectations for myself than anyone else does or ever will, so for me it’s not trying to live up to expectations,” Prescott continued. “But you want to win, and you want to make that play to win. It’s that, trying to win on every throw, I got myself out of position. Sometimes you want it too much. You look at some of my interceptions, it’s simple as that.” So his hope is that his place as a player will, in a way, shrink. Conversely, his place on the team will have to grow, and we’ll explain that.

James D. Smith via AP In this week’s jam-packed MMQB, we’re going to take you through my August tour, with a look at Philip Rivers’s future, a wider-ranging peek into Rams camp, an explanation of the Browns’ quarterback decision-making, the culture Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch are building in San Francisco, and some info on Odell Beckham and the officiating of the helmet rule as the Bears and Ravens staffs saw it. But we’re starting with Prescott and his place within the league’s flagship franchise, and how the change there was signified by a phone call he got on May 1. On the line was Jason Witten and, whether it was intended that way or not, it became a passing-of-the-torch moment for a quarterback who was three months shy of his 25th birthday. “It came out that he was retiring and he spent that week—I’m thinking about it, I’m figuring out what I’m going to do,” Prescott said. “And it was then when he called me, two days before his actual retirement speech, he was like, ‘I’m making it official.’ We had a heart-to-heart about how great it was playing with each other, and he encouraged me to be that guy.” There was a reason why that talk hit Prescott a certain way, too. “Witt handled things in the locker room, off the field, on the field, he was the ultimate leader,” Prescott said. “He shaped me, shaped some other guys in the locker room to be that leader. , he was telling me, You’re that guy, you can be that guy, go be that guy. I’d credit a lot of the steps I’m taking to be a leader to Witt. It was great.” It was also necessary, which Prescott knew well before that conversation. With the departures of Witten, Bryant and others, the Cowboys were left with just three players on the roster over 30—linebacker Sean Lee, kicker Dan Bailey and long-snapper LP Ladoucer. Star-studded as it is, the entire offensive line is 27 or younger. Elliott’s only 23. And as Prescott said, Witten cast a long shadow as a leader. Just the same, it wasn’t unnatural. There was no question that Prescott was capable of taking charge, a belief Jason Garrett and the staff had going back to intel they got in the spring of 2016 from Mullen’s staff, and one that was solidified in the Dallas locker room right away after Tony Romo got hurt that August. Garrett always had Romo address the offense before games, and he had no problem plugging Prescott in to do that. “Saturday night, his first game, he stepped up there and talked for about five, 10 minutes and it was as smooth as can be, as confident as can be, and guys realized he was for real,” All-Pro guard Zack Martin said. “Rookie, Week 1, opening with the Giants on Sunday Night Football, it was like he had been doing it for 10 years. He’s just got it. I don’t really know what ‘it’ is, but he’s got that ‘it’ factor as a quarterback.” This offseason, though, he realized he had to get to a point where he’d be a little more vocal in the room, a little more willing to tell teammates truths that might not be so comfortable—an approach that, after talking to Witten and thinking on it, he believes may have helped last year. “We went 9-7. A lot of teams would pay to go 9-7 and be one game out of the playoffs, but it was a sh---y year for us,” he said. “The way things went down, there were things we could’ve fixed as leaders on and off the field. And going into Year 3, I’ve just said to myself, ‘I’m gonna do everything the right way.’ If I see something I don’t like, I’m gonna say something about it. If it causes conflict, well, it causes conflict.” That brings us back to his play, and Prescott knows that walking the walk remains the most vital piece of talking the kind of talk he’s planning to come the season. So he took me through two examples of what precipitated a year-over-year drop in passer rating (104.9 to 86.6), TD-INT differential (23-4 to 22-13), completion percentage (67.8 to 62.9) and yards per attempt last year (8.0 to 6.9). • On a third down in the second quarter against the Eagles on Nov. 17, Prescott was pressured, and rather than play it safe and take the sack or throw it away, he threw the ball up to Bryant, who broke deep on a double move. In his words, all it took “was a fair catch” for corner Ronald Darby, so much so that, if you watch the play, Malcolm Jenkins could’ve picked it off too. • Against the Chargers the next week, down 22-6 in the fourth quarter, and on a first down in the red zone, Prescott took the snap and had room to scramble right. Instead, he turned to his left and threw against his body to Cole Beasley. Without his body behind throw, he didn’t quite get everything on it. Desmond King picked it off, and went 90 yards for the game-sealing pick-six. On the former play, Prescott failed to cut his losses. On the latter, he declined to take what was there. On both, devastating blows were delivered by the opponent, when the quarterback could have lived to see another throw. That Prescott is so up front about what he did wrong on those plays is part of why, when you watch the Cowboys in camp, you might not see anything that jumps off the practice field about the quarterback. In his words, this summer’s been for focusing on “basics,” emphasizing going through his reads, and making the right play, even if it’s not the big one: “Trying to get there faster … Is it there? … Do I want it? … Boom, boom, boom, boom.” And his teammates can see the work he’s doing, too, which is part of why everyone here sees him as having such rare ability to lead. “That’s just who he is,” Garrett says. “He just has an amazing way of coming to work everyday with just an incredible spirit—‘We’ve had success, OK, here we go, that’s behind us, we gotta keep going to the next one.’ And similarily, if things don’t go well, he’s very accountable—‘I didn’t do a good job, I should’ve made that throw. I’ve got to play better.’ “He’s a great example for me as a coach, and a great example to his teammates, about how to go about it. The approach he takes is remarkably good. It’s beyond his years. He’s really an impressive guy, and we’re lucky to have him as our leader.” Will Prescott rebound, and make up for the big-name losses, with Elliott, that line and a new defensive core around him? I don’t know. But one thing that’s obvious here is that coaches and teammates are behind him, and it’s just as obvious why— because he’s behind them, and accountable to them too. It showed again when I asked if, with the old guard mostly gone, he feels a heightened sense of responsibility. “I definitely feel a responsibility, playing the quarterback position, ever since I was moved to the position in middle school,” Prescott said. “I’ve always felt like there’s responsibility that comes with being the quarterback. You’re the face of the team. You’re the leader of the team. And a lot of the time, wins and losses depend on what you do. Of course, there’s a responsibility level there. “ And he’s certainly embraced it. • THE MORNING HUDDLE: Get The MMQB’s newsletter, in your inbox first thing each Monday through Friday. Subscribe today. For However Long It Lasts, Philip Rivers Is Loving It Tom Brady has long said he wants to play until he’s 45. Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers told me last week, “Minimum is 40.” And others, like Drew Brees, have made mention of a belief that quarterbacks can play well into their 40s. That’s why I was surprised when, the other day in Costa Mesa, I asked Chargers QB Philip Rivers how much football he has left, and he didn’t give what has become the stock answer. “I’m super excited about a handful more years,” Rivers told me. “I don’t have a number in my head. I laugh when I hear Drew, Brady’s already 41, when I hear them say mid-40s, I go, ‘Y’all can have that. I have no desire to get there. One thing I am thankful about is I know what I’m gonna be doing when I’m done. I’m gonna be coaching high school football somewhere, maybe the very next season.”

Tom Walko/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images Rivers turns 37 in December, so a handful more seasons would actually get him a couple years into his 40s. But that wasn’t really his point. “It could be two, my contract’s up in two, but I’d like to get in that new stadium,” Rivers continued. “Could it be four, five? I don’t know. I feel good. I don’t want to hang on, but I don’t feel like I’m there by any means right now. I want to stay aware, so when it does become that, I’ll know. And it’s a two-sided deal—they have to want me to still be here when it gets to that.” Now for where Rivers stands going to this season. None of the Chargers coaches want to say there’s momentum carried over from last year, but all the guys I talked to conceded there’s a lot to build off of, based on how the team that went through a move, spent half its offseason as a sort-of about-to-be-evicted tenant of San Diego, played in a stadium often filled with visiting fans, started 0-4 and managed to get to 9-7. Rivers feels it too, to be sure. Anthony Lynn being back for a second year doesn’t hurt. Nor does the development of 2017 first-round wideout Mike Williams within the offense—he could replace some of what Hunter Henry brought to the table—or a growing offensive line that adds center Mike Pouncey. As much as anything, and as much as he doesn’t want to call playing quarterback in the NFL easy, Rivers says he can let the game come to him more than he ever has, which has made everything easier. “I felt like last year was probably as consistent as I’ve been in four or five years,” he said. “Steady is the word that comes to mind, not trying to do too much, taking care of the ball but making a bunch of big plays. We made a bunch of big plays. It wasn’t playing scared, but it also wasn’t trying to will us to win. Trust everyone else.” And he’s doing that from a leadership standpoint, too. Where in the past Rivers might have pushed and prodded teammates, he’s now just as content to pass that torch to young vets like Melvin Ingram—which has allowed him to soak in being player, while he still is one. “I’m trying to enjoy every part of it,” Rivers said. “Norv told me back when he was here, gosh, five, six, seven years ago, that there’s going to come a time, and it happened to Fouts, when all your guys are going to be gone and you’re still playing, and it can be a little bit of a transition. Me and Hardwick and Gates, all these guys, it hits you because that’s one of my favorite parts of being a teammate, just being one of the guys. “I feel like after 15 years, you understand things like the coaches do, so you can coach and help them, but I want to be one of the guys. I don’t want to lose that.” You watch the way Rivers bounces around the practice field, and you definitely get the feeling he hasn’t lost that, even if doesn’t want to do this forever. The Rams Try to Stay Ahead of the Curve There’s a lot going on at Rams camp. You have the Aaron Donald holdout. The offseason haul of Ndamukong Suh, Marcus Peters, Aqib Talib and Brandin Cooks. Year 2 for Sean McVay in L.A. Year 3 for Jared Goff in the NFL. Todd Gurley coming off an Offensive Player of the Year season, and signed to a massive contract extension. Expectations are high—and on the day I was in Irvine, those expectations looked justified in the efficient, high-energy, quick-paced practice McVay and his staff ran. At least for now—and no one’s lost a game yet—the Rams looked hyper-organized and effectively blended together. But what struck me was how the team was focused on getting ahead of potential potholes. Here are three I think worth looking at …

Chris Williams/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images • First, there was a real acknowledgement that the players may have caught some teams off-guard last year with McVay’s innovations on offense. Goff mentioned to me that all the motion and formationing and movement in the scheme crossed defenses up last year. He expects the teams on the Rams’ 2018 schedule to be more prepared this time around. Which means it’s on McVay, Goff and company to keep it moving. “The tape’s out there,” Goff  “That’s number one. Number two, we’ve evolved. We’ve tried to implement new stuff. This guy’s pretty smart over here , and he’s come up with some good stuff. And we’ve got some new wrinkles that should give teams fits. That starts with him, the dialogue he has with all the other coaches, and then with us giving him feedback on what we’re seeing, he’s very, very good in listening to us. “He’ll listen to anybody, and any sort of feedback we can give him he loves. I thought last year we were always evolving as the season went on. It felt like teams were always one week behind on what we were doing offensively.” • Second, and this plays off that notion, McVay hasn’t wasted time to troubleshoot anything he can. It may be picking up something to evolve the offense one day, and picking up something else to maintain the culture he’s established the next. To that end he’s tapped into new relationships with people like Dodgers manager Dave Roberts, Celtics coach Brad Stevens and L.A. mayor Eric Garcetti to try to continue to innovate. And from all that networking, McVay says the best advice he’s gotten is, “There’s power in saying, ‘I don’t know’, and let’s figure out a way to collaborate together and find the best approach for our players, and for our team. And fortunately you’re in a situation where you have a lot of people you can lean on. You feel so fortunate to be surrounded by our coaching staff, with a lot of veteran coaches that have done a great job, that have been through experiences that I just haven’t been through.” • Third, there’s clearly confidence here. You can see it in the way McVay carries himself on the field, and the way his coaches are teaching and correcting on the fly, and in how the players are competing. GM Les Snead told me the difference between last year and this year, is evident in that belief – “What we earned last year, which Sean couldn’t give in a team meeting or with a great speech, is confidence.” And all the same, McVay’s monitoring it. “We’ve talked about it—‘Like the confidence, like the swagger, but make sure it doesn’t border on arrogance,’” McVay said. “It’s understanding you have to earn that confidence every day. Previous success helps you have that confidence, but also continuing to work. We talk about it every single day. Our whole process is committed to that daily improvement, getting one percent better.” Of course, every team that comes off a playoff year and has an aggressive offseason like the Rams did is going to feel good in August. And plenty fail to live up to expectations. Which, give them credit, is something these guys seem pretty aware of. • THE MMQB’S TRAINING CAMP REPORTS: Broncos | Steelers | Eagles | Colts | Ravens | More Baker, the Browns and the Aaron Rodgers Model I always have a hard time believing teams when they draft a quarterback in the first round, then say that they plan to redshirt him. The idea—taking pressure off the kid, giving him time to learn, etc.—sounds good. It almost never gets carried out. I’ve used this stat here before: From 2008 to ’17, 27 QBs went in the first round. Only two, Tennessee’s Jake Locker and Kansas City’s Patrick Mahomes, weren’t eventually given the job as rookies. So the Browns saying that Tyrod Taylor is their starting quarterback is one thing. Actually keeping Baker Mayfield on the bench is another. But after visiting Berea this week, I have a little bit of a better understanding why both coach Hue Jackson and G.M. John Dorsey have been so steadfast about that stance. For Jackson, it starts with the experience he had starting Cody Kessler as a rookie in 2016, and DeShone Kizer last year.

Nick Cammett/Diamond Images/Getty Images “I’ve had two players here in the past who’d never played in the National Football League, and we put them out there,” Jackson told me. “That didn’t do anybody any good. So why take a guy who we know is going to be our future and put him in that situation? We understand how hard it is to play in this league, how much you need to know, what your supporting cast has to be for you to have success. “Why put him in a situation where maybe he wouldn’t flourish? That would make no sense.” At that point, I brought up to Jackson his experience coaching Andy Dalton, a Year 1, Week 1 starter who made the playoffs his in first five years in Cincinnati (though Jackson didn’t get back to Cincinnati until Dalton’s second year). The Browns coach nodded and reminded me he was also the Ravens quarterbacks coach in 2008, the year Joe Flacco got Baltimore to the AFC title game as a rookie. This, as he sees it, is a different situation. The team he has now carries the baggage of 1-31 with it, and Mayfield is the fifth quarterback taken in the first round in the New Browns era, following Tim Couch, Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden and Johnny Manziel. “It’s the makeup of the team,” Jackson said. “When I was in Baltimore, you’re talking about Ray Lewis and Ed Reed and Haloti Ngata and Terrell Suggs and all those guys on defense—that was a different team. Here, quarterback’s gotta drive the train right now. Let’s be honest about where we’re coming from. That’s a lot of pressure, a lot of things would have to go right for him. So why do that, why force that?” And then there’s Dorsey’s experience. He drafted Mahomes last year with the intention of sitting him. Dorsey was in Green Bay for the three years Aaron Rodgers spent sitting and waiting for his time. So he can paint a picture of the benefit—and he did for me, raising a hypothetical where a safety creeping into the box can force a quarterback to adjust in a split second, and throw out his best-laid plan on the fly. “Aaron actually demonstrated that when he got in there, that he could do that. He couldn’t do that his rookie year,” Dorsey said. “Understand the speed of the game, it slows down for you. You understand the concepts the defense is trying to run into you. He’s under new terminology. It takes time to digest that type of information.” Only time will tell if the Browns stick to their guns on this one. For now, and through a week of camp, they haven’t budged much, even as Mayfield’s play has improved. “We needed somebody to come in our locker room who’s been an NFL player, who’s won games, who understands what we’re trying to accomplish right now, today, and start to lead this organization away from where we’ve been,” Jackson said. “We got the right guy in Tyrod. We drafted the right guy for the future of the organization, there’s no question in my mind about that.” … OF THE WEEK TWEET Had a moment with #Rams defensive coordinator @sonofbum today. Me: “C’mon, I know you’re not really playing Fortnite.” Wade (deadpan): “Hey look, I’ve got a good squad.”   — Charles Robinson (@CharlesRobinson) July 29, 2018 I honestly wish I saw this tweet before I saw Wade Phillips on Wednesday, because this basically confirms that the Rams’ DC, at 71, is more with it than I am, at 38. QUOTE “When I played, crime went lower in Baltimore. It’s like nobody needs to be mad now. It’s like everybody wants to be happy and celebrate.” — new Hall of Famer Ray Lewis. Look, I don’t want people to think our site is picking on the guy (ICYMI: Our man Robert Klemko wrote insightfully on Lewis the other day). But this isn’t the first time that Lewis has placed the NFL in society as a crime-fighting force. And here I’ve been thinking we all just get to cover a kid’s game. CLIP If this is a personal foul they need to erase the safety position pic.twitter.com/vBvak4AojK — Jac Collinsworth (@JacCollinsworth) August 3, 2018 More on this in a minute. MEME The NFL next season if theses tackle rules stay the same. pic.twitter.com/A0PeZ8KpsZ — Cole Thompson (@MrColeThompson) August 3, 2018 Like I said … we’ll get to the helmet rule in the Takeaways. S/O to … The Jets for giving 6-year-old cancer survivor Gio Toribio a moment he won’t soon forget – Toribio took a handoff from Josh McCown and went 50 yards for a touchdown at Saturday night’s annual Green and White Scrimmage at Rutgers. Toribio was diagnosed with lymphoma two years ago, at 4 years old, and declared cancer free in 2017, a few months before he met Jets linebacker Darron Lee. The two have grown close, and that’s facilitated a growing relationship between the young fan and his favorite team. As for the touchdown meant to Lee, after the scrimmage, he said, “It meant everything. Everything’s been through, he’s the ultimate warrior in my eyes. Like I told everyone before, he’s my hero.” My wife works in cardiac ICU at Boston Children’s, and so I’ve heard first hand what these sorts of uplifting experiences can mean for kids who are going through incredibly difficult times. So credit to the Jets, and Lee, for providing Gio with one. He’s a cancer survivor. And now Gio’s going the distance on the field, too. What a run! #GioStrong pic.twitter.com/ellgkINxDu — New York Jets (@nyjets) August 5, 2018 OFF-FIELD ISSUES 1. Because I’m pretty vocal about my alma mater, I’ve been asked plenty about what’s going on at Ohio State this week. And I’d say this—I hope my school is as thorough as possible, gets to the truth and reacts by doing the right thing. It should go without saying that getting to that point over the next week or two should be a bigger deal for everyone involved than winning football games. 2. I’ve learned from covering the NFL that it’s best to be patient and wait for facts before coming to conclusions in domestic violence cases. I think we all underreacted in the Josh Brown case two years ago, and then his ex-wife’s journal came to light. Conversely, a lot of conclusions were drawn in the Rueben Foster situation before they should have been. We knew way more about Greg Hardy and Ray Rice months down the line than we did initially. All evidence that making immediate sweeping judgments is probably a bad call. 3. I don’t blame the Nationals for gauging the market for star outfielder Bryce Harper. They’re hovering around .500 and stand to lose him for nothing after the season, and he has an agent who takes everyone to the market. Even if he’s a 26-year-old ubertalent whom you should probably just hand a blank check to. 4. I’ll admit it. I think Very Cavallari is hilarious, and I’ve missed it the last couple weeks on the road. That show is exactly what FOX saw in Jay Cutler, and the Cutler you see when his guard is down. Here’s a text I got from one of his old coaches got while I was watching it a couple weeks ago: “I told Cutty he’s going to be a way bigger star than Kristin! That’s who he is every day.” 5. In a weird way, I bet the NFL is kind of hopeful that LeBron James has become Donald Trump’s new piñata to swing at. For obvious reasons. TEN TAKEAWAYS 1. We’re going to have more on the Niners next week (I think), but since I did spend Sunday there I figured it’d be worth passing along something from their camp. And while I was there, I couldn’t help but remember how misunderstood I felt Kyle Shanahan was a few years ago, which is why I did a story with him on in in 2016. “I don’t think a lot of people know me,” he said then. “There are misconceptions. I know it’s not all great. But I can’t control it.” Amazing how quickly those have melted away. The culture in San Francisco couldn’t be much better than it is, which has a lot to do with the partnership between Shanahan and G.M. John Lynch. It’s also why Lynch believes his team is ready to handle expectations well beyond those of most 6-10 teams. “One of Kyle’s great strengths is that he’s honest with these guys,” Lynch told me. “What you put on tape is going to be talked about. He’s not dressing guys down. When they’re doing well, he’ll praise them and show why they’re doing well, and use it as education. When they need to pick it up, he’s very effective at doing that. It’s authentic and it’s real. Not that you need to knock them down, but he does a real effective job of keep things real.” Truth is, through some tough times, Shanahan’s always been himself. And that’s benefitting him now. 2. I know you guys love the intel on rookies. So here’s some underground info I picked up talking to coaches and personnel people at the six camps I was at this week. The Browns are convinced their first four picks (Mayfield, Denzel Ward, Nick Chubb, Austin Corbett) are direct hits, but the guy to watch might be fifth-round linebacker Genard Henry. Heard more than one person call him a “b---h” for the offense to deal with, in a good way for the defense. … Colts sixth-rounder Deon Cain has been spectacular. Some off-field issues, and a subpar 2017, caused him to fall, but there’s an internal belief he’s a second-round talent—and it’s shown so far. … Rams third-round OT Joe Noteboom is already in the mix for playing time at guard and tackle, as is fifth-round LB Micah Kiser. … Chargers fourth-rounder Kyzir White played safety at West Virginia, but L.A. drafted him to play linebacker, and he’s since looked like an ideal athletic fit in Gus Bradley’s defense, while putting on about 10 to 15 pounds of solid weight. … Cowboys second-rounder Connor Williams has taken all first-team snaps from the day he arrived at right guard, and third-round receiver Michael Gallup has flashed his potential, but fourth-round DE Dorance Armstrong has been the real revelation through the first week of camp, positioning himself for a role in September. … Niners second-round pick Dante Pettis will contribute right away in the return game. The acumen for football and natural intelligence he’s shown (FWIW, he had a high Wonderlic score) is giving him a shot to carve out a serious role on offense too. 3. OK, so now to the helmet rule. From what I heard, the Ravens believed two of the three calls against them were officiated correctly, with the outlier being the one against Bennett Jackson that we showed you (via Jac Collinsworth) above. The Bears coaches, for their part, were expecting more calls as the officials work their way through the new rule—and didn’t get a good look at the kind that’ll occur inside the tackle box, which they believe are going to be the drive killers/starters to result from the change. And the concern for staffs coming out of the Hall of Fame Game is that it’s hard for the officials to call the rule in real time, which leads to fear on their part that they’ll miss violations and get downgraded. We’ll see what kind of feedback the league gives Baltimore and Chicago this week. 4. A sign of how good the Eagles feel about EVP Howie Roseman and coach Doug Pederson: Those extensions through 2022 weren’t really extensions at all. Philly did new five-year deals with two, which is a nod to the job they’ve done in building a championship outfit over the last 31 months. 5. I think analytics are a very useful tool for NFL teams, but Corey Coleman’s failure to make any dent in Cleveland is probably a good example of relying too much on numbers. He ran a sub-4.4 40 at his pro day, and was incredibly productive at Baylor—he notched 74 catches for 1,363 yards and 20 touchdowns in 2015. It was a priority for Cleveland to find guys who could get in the end zone, and Coleman clearly showed he could in Waco. But on the flip side, there were questions about his football IQ coming out of a simple offense, and his route-running ability, and that’s why there are more than a couple teams that aren’t very surprised at how his time in Cleveland ended, with Sunday’s trade to Buffalo for a bag of pylons. • TEAM PREVIEWS: ANDY BENOIT’S 10 THOUGHTS ON  ... The Bears | Bucs | Texans | Giants | More 6. One other thing to take from Cowboys camp: Ezekiel Elliott’s in a very different place than he was before. Watching him move in drills, it was clear he had more of a hop in his step than we saw last year. And when I asked Zack Martin about it, he didn’t want to compare this year to last, but said he absolutely sees an edge to the Elliott of 2018. “It has jumped off the tape how he's been practicing, Martin told me. “He's been kind of a quiet professional, maybe more than normal this year, like he’s on a mission. Shoot, he went through so much last year, and I can't imagine how that was, all that weight on his shoulders. So he's coming in determined this year to get after it and have a big year.” 7. I wouldn’t be totally shocked if Paxton Lynch isn’t a Bronco by the end of the summer. When I was turning over rocks before the draft, word was that the team would have viewed each of the four quarterbacks at the top as an upgrade over Lynch, their 2016 first-rounder, even if they didn’t see all of them as worthy of the fifth pick (I believe Sam Darnold is the only one they would have considered). To me, that’s a sign that they’ve recognized their mistake. And so if 2017 seventh-rounder Chad Kelly, who was injured last year, continues to show progress, there could be a decision to make there. 8. Full disclosure: I still haven’t gotten to watch the Hall of Fame speeches, since I was with the Cowboys until late on Saturday, then flew to San Jose to see the Niners Sunday morning, then drove to the Raiders camp in Napa after that. But one thing that caught my attention: Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft making the trip to see Randy Moss go in. Before Moss got to New England, I always thought he was a guy who got by on raw ability, which would make him a funny fit as a Patriot. And I remember after he arrived—I was a Patriots beat writer at the time—how Belichick kept explaining how intelligent and evolved Moss was as a player. Proof positive was how Belichick and Josh McDaniels moved Moss around. It’s very difficult to learn one receiver position in that offense. If you can get them all down, you’re pretty sharp. And Moss was. 9. I’ve continued to get great feedback on how Odell Beckham has carried himself at training camp. He looks healthy to the staff and is on board with Pat Shurmur’s program. Doing a contract will, to be sure, be challenging. The team could make the argument that it has him at about $45 million (his fifth-year option, plus two franchise tags) over the next three years, while he can point to the exploding receiver market (his draft classmates Sammy Watkins and Brandin Cooks are both making $16 million per) and ask for a lot more. That’s why the good feeling between the new Giants regime and Beckham is, at least, a necessary starting point as the sides seek a middle ground. 10. Johnny Manziel deserves a lot of credit for doing what a lot of other quarterbacks have refused to, in going to Canada to try and pump life into his career. And I’m not giving up on him yet. But that was pretty ugly the other night. FIVE-DAY FORECAST We’ve got a full slate this weekend! And like you guys, I’m looking forward to seeing the first-round quarterbacks go. So all eyes will be on MetLife Stadium, as Mayfield and the Browns will visit the Giants on Thursday night, and Sam Darnold and the Jets host the Falcons on Friday night. Meanwhile, Josh Allen and the Bills get the Panthers at home on Thursday, and Josh Rosen and the Cardinals host the Chargers on Saturday. And we get a second look at Lamar Jackson on Thursday with the Rams wrapping up a week in Baltimore. What do you want to watch? In each case, it’ll be interesting to see if the coaches get the first-year guys reps with the 1s. That can be a tell that they’re at least toying with the idea of starting the rookie right away—and we know that three of the five teams (Jets, Cardinals, Bills) have been open about the idea of doing that. And here’s a stat to file away: The last time there wasn’t a rookie quarterback starting in Week 1 of a season was 2007. That was the year JaMarcus Russell went first overall. See you guys next week. Question or comment? Email us at talkback@themmqb.com. 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