#zayn talking about the time he left the band

[zaynontour]

.

[adelheidvonschicksal]

Hello! I’d love to read your vision of the LoD boys x MC in high school. (High school to adults, just high school, childhood. Anything!) Alllll the cliches appreciated, haha.

Coming-of-Age HC's with the LADS Guys

pairing: fem!reader x Zayne, fem!reader x Xavier, fem!reader x Rafayel

content: fluff, alternate universe (kinda)

Childhood with Zayne is filled with increasingly hot summers and snowy winters. It’s memories of an extroverted young girl dragging along her much more introverted best friend (well, Caleb’s friend first) to make popsicles under the blaze of the June sun and snowmen in the cold of January. In the same way snow melts with the coming of spring, you chip his shell away, making a friendship that’s stronger than any of your lifetimes.

Those years with Zayne are like a pleasant dream, soft and gentle, like his hand when he wipes away the tears from your cheeks whenever you fall or when he places a band-aid on one of the many injuries prone to an adventurous spirit.

Middle School with Zayne is when you first feel fragility in your friendship. You’re realizing you might be growing in different directions.

Zayne is intelligent, often getting attention for his grades and participating in scholars tournaments while you’re busy with your own hobbies and friends that come with them.

There’s hope your friendship will persevere each time you walk home together, each time he lets you share his umbrella on heavy rainy days, and each day he saves to spend with you.

High school with Zayne is confusing. Growing into adulthood is an exciting and nervous situation for anyone but even more-so when everyone but you seem to realize that you have feelings for your childhood friend.

Your grandma is constantly reminding you how smart and handsome Zayne has become. He’s going to study to be a doctor, you know! Maybe you should ask him to prom?

Caleb complains about how Zayne usually takes your side in arguments and does what you want all the time. He frequently teases you every time you sigh over the older boy. Isn’t getting a crush on your older brother’s friend too obvious?

They’re right though, and it’s awkward. What’s more awkward is the stolen kiss with Zayne in the new car his parents got him when he first got his license. You don’t talk about it even after he goes to college.

Meeting Zayne as an adult is nostalgic yet new as you learn about each other again. The trust you had in each other never truly left.

With each trinket, you realize he’s still the same Zayne, quiet and stern on the outside but with a patient and gentle center. However, his smart mouth still rears its head as frequently as it did back in high school.

You watch out for him more as an adult, because you see that he isn’t actually good at caring for himself despite all his intelligence. You make it so he can rely on you to get through the past days and future ones.

You try new things together. You adapt to how your views of the world differ so you can mold those differences together, creating one shared experience in the life you build with one another.

Childhood with Xavier is innocent. Being born on Philos is like being born in a fantasy book. Your world is sword training and ceremony rehearsals, your feet always chasing after the decorated knights and lightseekers before they board their spaceships. In your mind, the world is as limitless as the starry sky promised just beyond its surface.

Xavier is the same way. He says he likes sword training because it’s the only thing he’s good at. Truthfully, he loves that sword, carries it around with him everywhere like a third arm, and you love training with your new fellow student.

As you get older, things start to change for reasons you don’t really understand. The loss of innocence is slow, dragging out like the death of a star. It starts when silly days sword practicing becomes military drills. Then, Xavier’s ceremony rehearsals become real with each trial he has to overcome. It culminates when you find out that he will probably be betrothed one day against his will, which manifests into doubt that you would ever be on the list for a prince to marry.

Military Academy with Xavier offers a surprising amount of freedom as you discover yourself away from the watchful eyes of the royal family. It’s reintroducing him to your favorite snacks and music and sneaking out of the barracks to watch the stars and anything else he couldn’t do under the iron grip of his family.

There’s also many nights helping him study and focus so he can become the best version of himself because he still has rebellious tendencies after all these years.

These tendencies lead you to covering for him and also him talking you into one too many bad ideas. Ideas that leave you carrying one another home on stumbling legs after too many rounds with random wanderers or rounds with liquor way stronger than you know how to deal with.

It’s okay. You have each other to keep the other safe, so attached at the hip that Jeremiah always wonders where the other one is whenever he catches the two of you apart.

His light shines only for you. If you asked, he would give anything to make sure you’re happy: his time, his freedom, his life.

The jealousy and longing to be with you grates against the cage his title keeps around him whenever he sees someone else who has seen your light and fallen in love with you too. It’s written love letters, never signed, but left in your locker, the ones that smell like forget-me-nots and written in a prose that Xavier hopes you won’t recognize as his when he sees you fawning over the little notes.

Your looming graduation reignites the worries about your relationship. You have to come to terms with your respective role as a knight and Xavier as King. Xavier feels the same way.

Yet this part of your life quickly becomes filled with sweet nothings – promises to run away together, carried on his wishes to be with you for the rest of immortality, all wrapped in the little star charm carried on his sword. It makes you realize your feelings were requited all along.

Adulthood with Xavier fills like achieved dreams and nights you never want to end. It’s basking in the company of one another, adorned with kisses and released longing that couldn’t be given years prior.

It’s becoming more than just his guiding starlight but his entire galaxy, and he shows it with each kiss he gives you.

Childhood with Rafayel feels like you’re dreaming. Mermaids aren’t supposed to exist but there’s one right in front of you.

You learn so many things from him. He loves talking about almost anything from his culture to your culture. He loves art, the sunset, and music.

You bring him lots of things from land that you think he would like, spending long days at the beach trading items with him and showing him human toys. It becomes normal to strike out early every weekend to meet the Lemurian boy again and again.

He braids Lemurian ribbons and clips seashell accessories into your hair. He teaches you Lemurian lullabies and sayings. He often gets in trouble for accidentally gifting you family heirlooms without realizing the weight of said items. He just thought it was pretty. Even if he got in trouble, it was worth it to see you smile.

Your time together eventually develops into trying to think of ideas to explore further from the beach. You train to hold your breath a little longer with hopes of making it further into the sea than last time.

Your first kiss is because of the legend that Lemurian kisses can let one breathe underwater. It wasn’t really a big deal back then. However, the memory of it makes your face hot many years later when you think back on it.

The end of summer marks the slowdown of your free time together. It always ends with a pinky promise to spend your next free day with him.

Your 8th grade year with Rafayel is a collage of photos and videos filled with cawing seagulls, the serenade of his harmonica, and the first time your feet were able to touch the surface of the water. Rafayel always seems to want to show off his new powers as the next God of the Sea.

He’s still a child though, which means he is still insistent to sneak to school with you to see what human classes are like. He still talks too smartly to the other students, and you still have to talk him out of a fight with one of the other boys.

It’s an exhausting day but he seemed to have fun running around town with you, saving the day in the strip of pictures printed out from the photo booth and the memory of his first surface world sunset.

Your later teenage years offer even less time together but each time you visit him feels more meaningful than the last even though you can’t go further than the crackle of a bonfire at the edge of the beach. You’re happy with these late nights though because you love the boy from another world.

No matter how many years pass, he’ll always be the boy who gets shy and makes excuse after excuse to avoid singing for you despite being born a siren. He’s the boy who constantly complains about his classmates being idiots for saying you’re going to steal his blood and make him into oil and how they tease him for being friends with a human. He refuses to tell you that it’s more because of his crush on a human. Despite all that, he has no issue dropping hint after hint about how Lemurians can bond with others by giving one of their scales.

Years later, it still makes a lovely necklace to wear when he finally makes his choice to be on land, with you, his beloved bride.

[twopoppies]

Not to deflect attention away from Harry but why is he the only one ever getting blamed for the hiatus, why isn't zayn?

I think Harry is blamed because of things said after the hiatus about Louis being "blindsided" by it and that he had only begun to feel he'd found his place in the band before that. People took It as an absolute fact instead of a marketing spin that might explain why he took some time to release his album. Thus, because Harry was the only one who hit the ground running, he was to blame. Also, there was some talk about Harry being the one who brought it up originally and who felt the band was reaching a point where it would be better to leave while they were still wanted, as opposed to overstaying their welcome.

Zayn alluded to "someone" not wanting to re-sign contracts and that he left so he could get his music out first (likely also a PR spin, but there's no way the hiatus was a surprise just a couple months before it happened).

And basically, because Harry had been labeled as the one who would be "the breakout star" since probably 2012/2013, there were some loud and obnoxious people who decided Harry had been plotting to take over the world since then and that he didn't care about any of the other guys as long as he was a success. They worked overtime to rewrite history, sow doubt among the fans, and further divide them. And it worked.

Liam said Harry cried when they decided on the hiatus. I think H saw the writing on the wall. The five of them were running on fumes. Liam was battling his addictions already (and said he'd likely have died if they hadn't taken a break), Zayn seemed to be struggling with his disordered eating and anxiety, 1D's album and ticket sales were starting to drop after Midnight Memories and the WWA tour. Harry may have been planning a solo career, but he also may have been the only one with any foresight.

People love to blame Harry for everything they don't like because he's technically the most successful. Thus, he got everything he wanted, never struggled, has no trauma, didn't care about any of the others, has all the freedom to do whatever he wants and is a terrible person. Blah, blah, blah.

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of hurt/comfort fics as requested in this ask. This rec is a part 2, you can find part 1 here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

❤️‍🩹 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, superheroes) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe. //an X-Men AU.

❤️‍🩹 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 66k, famous/not famous) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

❤️‍🩹 saw some things on the other side by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 61k, time travel) Louis’ plan doesn’t take into account the fact that instead of writing murder mysteries, he will find himself in one.

❤️‍🩹 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie

(E, 46k, soulmates) Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. 

❤️‍🩹 Train Tracks and Porcelain by @jaerie

(E, 41k, historical circus au) Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

❤️‍🩹 Caves End by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 39k, farm) the one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

❤️‍🩹 My Other Half Was You by @lululawrence

(NR, 35k, acrobat Louis) By the age of 30, Louis' entire life trajectory had changed from what he'd thought it would be. He moved back to the town he grew up in and did his best to pull himself and his life back together again.

❤️‍🩹 All Out of Love by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 32k, cupid au) While on a mission to match Liam and Zayn, the distraction comes in the shape of Louis Tomlinson – an overworked and underloved man trying way too hard to do everything himself.

❤️‍🩹 Until the Pearls Get Lost by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(M, 25k, omegaverse) Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers.

❤️‍🩹 Scarred by @allwaswell16

(E, 23k, omegaverse) As a male omega, Louis has learned to live with disappointment and rejection, but he dreams of the day he finds his soulmate. When Harry inadvertently rejects him as his soulmate, Harry has no idea he's doomed Louis to a slow, painful death.

❤️‍🩹 what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 22k, fwb) A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for.

❤️‍🩹 some evening in springtime by delsicle / @eeveedel

(M, 20k, age difference) Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.

❤️‍🩹 Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt

(T, 12k, omegaverse) weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

❤️‍🩹 Close Enough to Touch by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(M, 11k, tour au) Louis definitely did not need a masseuse on tour. Not even if that masseuse turned out to be gorgeous, kind, and lovely.

❤️‍🩹 I Kinda Need A Hero (Is It You) by @fallinglikethis

(NR, 5k, flower shop) Louis is a barista who’s had his heart broken. Harry is the boy who wants to put the pieces back together.

❤️‍🩹 Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13

(E, 4k, exes) It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.

❤️‍🩹 The Cowboy In Us All by @taggiecb

(G, 3k, famous/famous) When the real pain of trouble in their relationship gets to be too much they turn to the one thing that they can control; the messages in the songs they sing onstage.

❤️‍🩹 Remember Me (When I'm With You) by liberty_barnes / @liberty-barnes

(T, 1k, fallen angel Louis) the one where Louis was cast out and Harry just wants him to be happy.

- Rare Pairs -

❤️‍🩹 your crimes are quiet, my love by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

(E, 97k, Zayn/Liam) A darker Miss Congeniality AU that follows Zayn and Liam, MI5 agents, partners since training and best friends, as they race to stop a serial killer. 

❤️‍🩹 a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

[awinchestershell]

I’m not sure how it still manages to surprise me after all this time, the depths of the selfishness and cruelty of human greed. 

I remember the day One Direction was formed. I remember how nervous they all were, how young and excited and wide-eyed about the possibilities being tossed into their laps. They truly had no idea what was in front of them. 

They were so small, and they had such big dreams that barely fit inside them, and it was so beautiful watching them achieve them. 

I remember watching them become more and more jaded over time, that childish wonder being torn away as the reality around them became more apparent. I remember hundreds upon thousands of tweets and tumblr posts from worried fans about how exhausted they seemed, something in their eyes just not feeling right anymore. 

The day Zayn left the band the world seemed to stop. I couldn’t tell you how many young girls on my social media pages I saw wailing in what at the time seemed like the worst pain this band could ever put us through.

God, how wrong we were. 

It seemed so obvious, even at the time, that there was something more going on. It wasn’t like they were trying to hide it. 

Then Zayn wrote his book and spoke about how much he’d struggled in the band, and for the first time one of the boys had publicly acknowledged how hard it was to be One Direction. And he was still barely scratching the surface.

The band breaks up, or ‘goes on hiatus’, and again it feels like the worst thing they could do. How much harder of a hit can we take? What more is there to lose?

And yet again, it’s so obvious that there’s more going on then they’re saying. They all seem so worn out, downright miserable at times, yet they never stop the grind. They never take a day off. They never sleep. 

Slowly, they start to talk about the reality of being a child star. Of being sixteen years old and handed the world on a silver platter, money and fame and all the things that no one ever even touches in their wildest dreams, and they’re not even out of high school yet. 

They talk of being locked up in hotel rooms for days at a time with nothing to entertain them but the mini bar. Feeling trapped, being a prisoner to their own success. They talk of schedules so busy they shouldn’t be possible, never seeing their own families, cameras in their faces at the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

They begin to write what they really feel. We finally get a peek into their real thoughts instead of what some bighead in a suit is telling them to think.

They write of real love, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling scared, feeling on top of the world, toxic romances that you know are toxic but you stay anyway because you don’t want to be alone, happiness so overwhelming you lose your mind, grief, exploring, running free, coming home, friendship, drugs, sex, all the best and worst parts of being alive. 

They write what they feel, and what they know. They express themselves. 

They find their own paths. We worry, of course we worry. But it’s an honor and a joy watching them find themselves in their music.

We convince ourselves that they’ll come together one day. Not even for a tour, because they’ve changed too much and so have we, but for a charity show, or someone’s birthday, or an anniversary. 

And then TMZ takes a photo.

And now we know that Zayn leaving and the band breaking up meant nothing at all.

It’s a fascinating thing, really. How you can spend years of your life not really thinking of someone anymore and then they’re gone and suddenly they’re all you can think of. 

I never left. I’ve known these boys as long as they’ve known each other. But I’ve seen so many people in the last week see this news and have years of memories come rushing back to them. A whole lifetime of love and joy and community just gone.

It’s a brutal, miserable blow to the most innocent part of you. The part that believes in the goodness of humanity, in the pure joy of creation, being a part of something bigger than yourself. 

All of the jokes, the laughter, the music, the friendship. It’s all just gone.

And the worst part is it didn’t have to happen.

A completely, hilariously avoidable tragedy. 

He’s gone because humanity hates itself. Because we are greedy and cruel. Because a management company exploited those five young boys for money and power until they couldn’t anymore, making sure to torment them along the way. Because men with cameras have to leech off of every vulnerable moment celebrities have, using and abusing their suffering for a quick buck.

Because the anonymous, mindless drones on social media think that their opinion is the only one that deserves to be heard. And that they decide who deserves to live or die. That it’s appropriate to send someone death threats and tell them to burn in hell, and then post jokes and celebratory tweets about them after they’ve killed themself. 

Because TMZ thinks that taking a picture of a man’s dead body and leaking it to the press before his mother has even gotten the call that he’s dead is good journalism. 

This is why he’s gone. 

THis is why there will be another Liam Payne after him. This is why we will never, ever be okay. Because humanity sees a senseless, unnecessary tragedy, and they point and laugh. And they ask how they can make money off of it.

Because we are broken. Fractured down to our core. And there is no fixing us. Not anymore. 

The media took a sweet, funny, bright-eyed 16 year old boy and they sucked all the life out of him. They turned him into a soulless cash cow, they took him for all he had, and when he had nothing left to give they abandoned him. 

And now that he’s gone they’re turning his death into a circus. Instead of allowing him the dignity of dying in peace, surrounded by the love and privacy he deserves, they’ve robbed him of even that.

When a mother is left resorting to begging the internet to not post filth of her child’s dead father so he won’t have to grow up and see it one day, and a crowd of teenage girls are forced to raise their hands up to block cameras from filming a man as he collects the belongings of his dead son, we’re left wondering how we got here. 

Ask yourself just how much of your soul you have left, and if the answer is any at all, how much are you willing to sacrifice to continue playing a part in this nightmare? 

[heystephen]

wait im so curious whats happening rn w liam payne? he was always default the worst 1d guy and ik he like shills nfts but i need the tea on what he did to get twitter to snap

it’s been a wild 24 hours in 1Dville so let me summarize everything the best i can

the beginning of this debacle was that liam flew out to niall’s show in argentina and just really made a spectacle of himself. this drew comparisons to other times the boys (excluding liam) have gone to support each other and been sure to avoid stealing the spotlight from the other one, specifically a time that harry went to see niall as well and left when he realized fans were watching him and not niall on stage. he also made some weird comments on snapchat about him and niall having things to ‘clear up’ which was probably just him trying to stir up drama and attention.. it’s worth noting that liam himself has specifically said that niall has told him more than once to stop talking about him. anyway after the show, liam went to nialls hotel to stand outside and meet NIALLS fans and take pictures with them. this entire thing just put a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths but as far as criticisms liam’s getting right now, this is very tip of the iceberg. like weird but not necessarily bad

THEN we are brought back to when he went on logan paul’s podcast a few years ago and mentioned having a fight with a member of 1D who threw him into a wall. he didn’t say who it was and there was a lot of speculation as to which member it was. his ex girlfriend, maya henry, confirmed via tiktok that it was zayn and joked that she has heard the story an insufferable amount of times. his fans essentially jumped her in the comments and she hit back at them saying that they didn’t know him in the same context that she did as his ex. she has a book out where she talks about the abuse she endured with him, and in her tiktok she talked about how the day she released her book, liam went to see louis in concert for damage control because he knew that two 1D members in the same room always gets attention. she also mentioned that he still stalks her, and still calls her, her mom, her grandmother, her friends, and frequently creates new icloud accounts to harass her. there’s a lot more that can be said for his treatment of maya and the specific things she went through but i think the fact that she says he would openly tell her that he can do anything he wants because one direction fans will defend him says it all..

a fan came forward via tiktok as well and shared that she had been coerced and manipulated into sharing nudes with him through instagram. while she was of legal age, the power imbalance between a fan and a celebrity cannot be overlooked. she was also told by liam that he can get away with anything because he has 1D fans. maya confirmed in the comment section that other women have told her that he did this to them as well.

do with all of this as you will and form your opinion about him and his actions as you will! personally, i find him not just skeezy and weird, but abusive and highly resentful of the success of his former band mates because he knows he will never be remembered as an integral member of one direction and formidable solo artist the way the others are 🫡

[backtotheshitshow]

Ghost Clothes Part 2 : the field.

(Wally Clark x reader)

Part1 part3 part4

Summary: after finding y/n in the locker room, Wally wants to show her around the school.

Warning: idk if there is any 🤷‍♀️

Wally lead the way down the hall, doing his best to make small talk with Y/n.

“How did I not hear about you dying. I’ve been here since the ‘80’s and I never heard of a girl dying in the locker rooms.” Wally questioned.

“I died the same week Zayn left One Direction. So a dead girl wasn’t exactly the top story of the local teens.” Y/n explained.

“Ah yes I remember that band, they were no Motley Crüe though.” Wally says, opening the door to the school office. “Ladies first”

“Thank you. Yeah, I was always more of a 5 seconds of summer girl anyway.” Y/n came to a stop at the lost property bin. Everything in there was awful, old sweaty trackpants and hoodies.

“I’ll wait outside.” Wally says, giving a quick smile before leaving.

The only decent thing y/n could find in the bin was some girls basketball shorts and an AC/DC shirt that looked older than her, well older than what she’s supposed to be. Y/n reluctantly changed out of Wally’s jacket and into the other clothes.

She emerged from the lost property room, to be greeted with a smiling Wally. “Oooh AC/DC, you know they’re in my top ten list of bands to work out to. “ the boy chuckled, taking his jacket back.

Wally felt a twinge of sadness, he longed to see her in just his jacket again. God why was he being such a perv. He just meant this girl. Y/n clears her throat, snapping Wally back to reality.

“What? Sorry did you say something” Wally rambled.

“No. you’re just stairing.” Y/n informs.

“Right, sorry. Ah should we.. I don’t know, go for a walk?” Wally suggests rubbing the back of his neck.

“That sounds nice, actually can we start outside.” Y/n asked.

“Of course, come on I’ll show you the football field.” Wally says excitedly.

…

Wally took y/n out to the field, but he couldn’t help but wonder, we’re they on a date?. Like does them going for a walk and chatting together count as a date. Eventually the two stopped at the five yard line, and took in the scenery, glazing at the moon and all the stars .

“Do you spend a lot of time out here, Wally?” Y/n questioned

“ not as much as you would think. I do like being in the library, theirs always new stuff to read in there. Sometimes I just go to the cafeteria and just watch the student, you know, see how things keep changing year after year.” Wally explains.

“You died in 84, didn’t you?”

“Ah yeah… how’d you know.” The boy asked.

“ well I remember sitting at a game one night and I saw the score board and thought. Who the fuck is this Wally Clark guy? So I googled you. But it never said how you died.”y/n says.

“Oh I was layed out in a tackle on the five yard line. Right where you’re standing actually.”

Y/n instantly took a step back, “shit sorry” she gave Wally an apologetic look.

“It’s ok, they’ve re-grassed this field so many times since then, I doubt there’d be any trace of me left.” Wally gave a light chuckle, but to y/n it seemed forced. “Anyway… here lay down.” Wally encouraged y/n lay on the field and look up at the sky.

It was quiet as they both scanned the flickering light of the night sky, until Wally turned his attention to the girl next to him. He studied her profile, the shape of her nose, how soft her lips looked under the moon light, the way her eyelashes fluttered when she would blink.

Out of the corner of her eye, Y/n noticed Wally staring, again. “You know you have a really bad staring problem, Wally.” Y/n states still looking up at the moon.

Wally immediately turns his head back to the sky. “Sorry.”

The air fell silent again, the only thing y/n could here was the sound of Wally’s soft breaths. It was her turn to stare, y/n looked at the kind boy next to her, he had been so sweet and helpful to her, and under the moon light she wondered why she hadn’t noticed how handsome he was before.

Wally turns and meets Y/n eyes. “ now who’s the one staring” they both chuckle before falling silent again, gazing at each other intently. Wally briefly glanced at the girls lips, only for a second and began to lean closer.

“Who’s that?” Both ghosts jumped apart at the sudden noise.

“Jesus, Dawn. Don’t sneak up on people like that.” Wally sighs.

“Oh I’m sorry, Wally. I just wanted to know who this lovely girl is.” Dawn apologises.

Wally sighs in annoyance “Dawn this is Y/n, Y/n this is Dawn.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Y/n says

“ you too. Did you die during practice?” Dawn asks.

“Practice?”

“Basketball practice, I just thought because of the shorts and the shirt..”

“Oh no these are from lost property, I died in the showers.” Y/n explains.

“Oh my. Well I’m sure one of the ghosts around here can sew, maybe we can make you some new clothes.” Dawn suggests.

“Really! That would be great.” Y/n smiles then looks at Wally, who seems slightly annoyed, “ you don’t mind, do you Wally?”

“No of course not, I’ve got stuff to do anyway.”

“Great” Y/n stands up and begins walking with Dawn back inside the school. “ Hey, Wally I’ll see you later ok.” Y/n shouts from the door.

Wally gives a thumbs up as the girls go inside. Laying back down on the field Wally sighs, asking himself so many questions. Why did he ever think that could of been a date? Why is he so attached to a girl he just met? What is he feeling? Is this what falling in love feels like?

…

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

To my fellow adult directioners, how are you?

I've been trying to really think and put into words what I want to say. I don't even know if there are words to describe what I feel at the moment. I feel sad, depressed, and just a deep ache. I feel like a part of my childhood has crumbled inside.

I became a One Direction fan when I was about 9 years old. I was going through a really rough time and was dealing with separation anxiety. I was on youtube one night and came across the What Makes You Beautiful music video. I instantly fell in love. I was hooked and I couldn't get enough.

4th and 5th grade were an extremely hard time for me and yet I got through it. Not only because of my family, but mainly because of One Direction. They made me laugh and their music made me feel better. Their posts and the videos of them, their performances brought me so much comfort. They could make me smile unlike anything before. They were what introduced me to fandoms.

I had never felt like I belonged anywhere until I became a Directioner. They introduced me to 5SOS and Little Mix, they showed me how special being in a fandom was. They shed so much light and happiness to my life when I felt like I was drowning. I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for them. Their influence they had also introduced me to Dan and Phil through the joy of youtube. One Direction was just the beginning for me.

When Zayn left, I was devastated. I remember being in middle school, probably around the 6-7 grade. I was at home when the news broke and I remember calling my friends at the time and just crying. Then when the band broke up, I was, like so many, so hopeful for a reunion. I won't lie, I didn't branch out much to their solo music. I listened some but nothing like I thought. However, I still kept going back to the same old One Direction, even all these years later.

Liam Payne was a comfort to a lot of people and I feel the music industry destroyed him. He had so much pressure put on him at a young age and it just poisoned him. He fell into a lot of hardship towards the end of the band and afterwards. This isn't to minimize anything he's done, I just want to make a point that the Liam I'm grieving is the one I grew up with from 2012-2016. The Liam that has come to light isn't how so many of us remember him. We remember Liam as someone who acted silly with Louis on stage and liked to annoy the boys during interviews. We remember him as someone who hated spoons and had incredible vocals. We remember him as someone who was given a second chance and did something incredible with it. He changed so many lives during his time in One Direction, and that's how we remember him.

This isn't Maya Henry's fault or anyone elses. Liam was sick and just couldn't get the help he needed to turn his life around. Addiction kills. What he did to Maya Henry and others is inexcusable and horrible, and this isn't their fault. They did not cause any of what happened. They are still victims and their experiences are still valid. You can grieve someone and still condemn their actions. He engaged in behavior that is unacceptable and for a lack of a better word, abusive. Even if he didn't do these acts while under the influence, he was still battling with sobriety, and that's not easy, and that's still not an excuse. He still did what he did and now he'll never be able to fix it. We will still remember how we idolized him and how much joy he brought us, but we will also never forget the victim's stories. Their experiences and feelings with him are just as valid and important.

Like Niall, Harry, Zayn, and Louis have all said, Liam brought so much joy. He brought thousands and thousands of people hope and happiness. He was a light in dark times for many and until he passed, he still brought people joy. There are many videos from the days leading up that show him talking about the boys and supporting them, and hugging fans and interacting with them.

Please keep in mind that Liam is a son, brother, friend, and most importantly, a father. His family is grieving and his 7 year old son has just recently lost his father. Remember that Zayn, Louis, Harry, and Niall owe us nothing. Liam was still a human being.

Thank you Liam for giving us an unforgettable childhood and unforgettable memories. Thank you for introducing me, and others, to the joys of fandoms and music. You brought so many of us so much happiness and were a glimmer of hope when we couldn't find it.

"Goodbyes are bittersweet but it's not the end. I'll see your face again." - Rest easy, Liam. 🤍

[daisyblog]

Chapter 3: Evie

Show Me Love Summary

Trigger warnings:  18+, anxiety, strong language, undiagnosed/struggling with learning difficulty

< Chapter 2

Evie

Monday morning had to be the worst part of the week. After a two day break, it seemed like a tease that the alarm was going off again. But I suppose a 10am start was better than 9. Despite Friday night being a little rocky with me drinking myself to the point of needing Harry's help, and bed, the weekend had been nice. 

Harry and I went to the bands night, and it was the most fun I'd had in a while. We talked, laughed, danced and sang our hearts out. I liked him before Saturday night, and the way he allowed me to be myself just made me fall a little more. We'd been messaging back and forth since and I was enjoying whatever was happening right now. 

It was tempting for me to lay in bed longer and scroll through my phone. But I fought the urge to look at what others were doing with their morning, and concentrated on what I was doing with my own. 

I used the time to self-care. I'd showered, washed my hair using my new products that Bella had recommended to me. My hair was grateful to be left down and loose, instead of being thrown up messily on top of my head due to the lack of time I had. 

The autumn weather outside had me opting for some dark grey trousers, paired with a white t shirt and layering with a grey jumper over the top. Being loyal my black trusty converse were chosen. Before picking up my bag, my favourite Zara perfume was sprayed and for once I felt prepared. 

I was alone in the flat this morning. Bella had stayed with Zayn over the weekend, and Lily explained she was going into uni early to study ahead of her exam this week. Checking the time as I walked down the street, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was only 9:40. 

Placing my earphones in as I walked, the sound of The Kooks playing into my ears, caused me to a skip in my step. 

"She moves in her own way". I mumbled the lyrics to myself, before noticing I had nearly reached the building. 

I felt like I had only just lived this moment as I entered the building and climbed the daunting stairs, taking my earphones out and making my way to the class. 

Walking down the long hallway, I manoeuvred through the groups of students who were lingering around. Reaching the classroom door, I stopped in my tracks as I was greeted with an empty room and no life in sight. 

I pulled my phone out from my pocket and quickly sent a message to Niall, checking that we did have a class this morning. The sound of my phone, broke me from my thoughts. 

Niall:  The class got cancelled about 10 minutes ago, we had an email. Me and Harry are in the library, come and join us! x 

I thought about avoiding the library and heading back home, and wasting my day with extra sleep and possibly watching reruns of Friends. But knowing Harry was there, it was tempting for me. 

I scanned the room that was filled with rows of bookshelves, there were other students scattered around as they studied. I was about to give up looking, but then I spotted them tucked away in the corner, both talking as their fingers typed away on the keyboards. 

Niall noticed me first, he wore a big smile on cheeks as I walked towards them. "Green girl!". His accent dragging the 'i' out, making a few people turn to see who was making the noise. 

"Horan boy!". I mocked, as I placed my bag down on the table and pulled out the chair beside Harry. I could sense his eyes on me as I felt the ripple through my stomach. "Hi!". 

Harry wore a slight smirk as he watched me sit down next to him. "Hi!". There was an atmosphere between us and I secretly liked it. The thrill of knowing something was happening but still being kept in the dark. 

After pulling out my notebook and a few pens and highlighters from my bag, I glanced at Niall and took a double glance when I saw his eyes squinting as he looked between Harry and I. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?". I questioned, feeling a little insecure as his eyes burned into mine. 

"What the fuck was that?". He questioned us, but Harry's attention never left his laptop as he carried on typing. "Hi!". Niall mocked us. 

"It's a way of saying hello Niall...you know when you greet someone". I sassily replied, a tad of attitude in my voice. Harry rubbed his finger under his nose as he tried not to reveal his smirk. 

Niall folded his arms as he sat back in his chair. "Pfft!...what do you think I am...stupid?". I raised my eyebrows in banter, knowing Niall and I had the friendship to do so. "You two went out last night...so what's going on?". 

I didn't give Harry a chance to find his voice. "Oh waw...a boy and girl hung out by themselves once...that must mean they're fucking". Harry must have been surprised by my bluntness because he choked on his breath and coughed into his hand. 

"Nobody said anything about fucking Green...but the tension between you two...waw!". Niall playfully bit back, as he gave me a knowing grin. "I'm watching you two". 

"What are you both doing anyway?". I gestured towards their laptops as I could see a few documents open on Harry's screen. 

"We have an assignment due in a couple of weeks for the marketing module...so we're starting it early". Harry took a break from typing to explain to me, stretching his arms up exposing his lower tummy. I looked away quickly not wanting to be caught starting at the ink. 

"Sounds like another all nighter for me the day before". I picked up the pink highlighter and began to doodle on the notepad laid on the table. 

"And you still manage to get a high mark!". Niall complimented, before continuing. "Imagine if you started now, you'd get like an eighty or higher". 

At the conversation turning to talk about my grades, my right leg began to bounce in anxiety as it reminded me of the many conversations my parents had with me. 

"Believe me..I wish I could motivate myself to just get the assignments done early but I can't concentrate". I was honest. I'd tried to start assignments early in the past and I'd end up getting distracted by a sound outside or scrolling through Instagram, and by the time I'd noticed I'd lost interest in it. 

"Perhaps set yourself a challenge...for every hundred words you write...give yourself a break or watch your favourite series for half hour". Harry suggested next to me, Niall nodded his head in agreement. It sounded like a great idea, but the reality of it would be I'd give myself the reward without writing any words. 

"I suppose...I just haven't got the will power". I dramatically laid my head and arms on the table in defeat. 

"I can help you, if you'd like". Harry suggested with a shrug, like it was nothing and not him offering to give up some time to help me. My eyes stared in happiness, the thought of someone wanting to help me without strings attached was a new feeling for me. 

"Oh for fucks sake, will you two just fucking kiss and get it over with!". Niall moaned as he threw a crumpled up piece of paper at Harry. 

Harry picked the ball of paper up and playfully threw it back and hit Niall on his head. "Fuck off Ni!". I rolled my eyes, still drawing doodles on the paper in front of me, thinking how I should have been tucked up under my duvet watching Friends. "Ever heard of being kind and helping others?". 

"I have...so let's go and get some lunch before you two end up eating each other". I watched as he closed his laptop lid and placed it in his rucksack, Harry following suit. "C'mon Green...you're coming too". 

I locked eyes with Harry, as I quickly rushed to put my notebook and pens into my own bag not wanting to keep them both waiting. But catching me off guard and earning a blush on my cheeks was when he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Good thing he doesn't know about us cuddling". 

My head spun around and was grateful that Niall was already walking ahead of us. Not wanting to be the centre of more teasing. 

---

Friday had appeared quickly and as much as the week had been quiet, I was glad to see it arrive. Bella, Lily and I had planned a girls day for tomorrow and I was excited to spend some time with them both. 

Harry and I had been texting back and forth most of the week. The conversation had moved on from just talking about music and sending each other songs that we wanted the other to listen to, and it felt like we were getting to know one and other. 

Whenever my phone pinged, I was like an excited teenager again grinning at it because my crush had replied to me. But as soon as the excitement came, so did the overthinking. Was Harry just texting as a friend? Did he feel sorry for me? Does he even want to talk to me or is he too nice to not reply? The thoughts circled me and it was hard to push them away. 

The sound of my phoned pinged as I laid on my bed, I picked it up expecting to see Harry's name but instead I'd been added to a group chat. 

SQUAD Bella, Lily, Evie, Zayn, Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam

Bella💕 This GC should have happened a long time ago!! Hi besties! Me and Zayn are thinking of going to mini golf tonight, any of you bitches fancy it???

Lily🌸 I'll come!💜

Louis T Oioi! Count me in lads!! 

Liam P I'm going home this weekend, got a family party. But have fun!!

Niall Boring Payno!! Can't wait to show you all how it's done ⛳️ 

Evie Yesssss!🥰

Harry I'll be there! 

Bella💕 Sucks to be you Li! Maybe next time?!✌🏼Great, I've booked it for 7pm xx

I checked the time at it was already 5:07, meaning I needed to hurry and get ready. Usually I'd throw on some jeans and t shirt for a last minute plan, but tonight I wanted to impress a green eyed man, with curls. 

I pulled my loose off grey mom jeans from the hanger along with a long sleeved black top, that was slightly cropped and my black and adidas trainers screamed at me to be worn. I added a slight wave to my already curled hair and tidied up my make up from earlier. Adding a bit more blush to my pink cheeks and some lip balm to my lips.

I couldn't help but wonder where Lily was. I knew Bella was over at Zayn's, so she would probably meet us there. I wondered down the hallway of the flat and coincidentally Lily walked out from her room. 

"Ooo Evie! You're looking hot girl!". Lily's voice went high pitched. I looked down at my outfit and for once I felt good in my skin. I liked how I looked and I was happy with my outfit choice. 

"Says you! I love that jumper!". Lily was wearing a loose black jeans that hugged her figure nicely, and paired it with a Nike hoodie and her black converse. 

Our front door unlocking caused me to turn with worry. But seeing Bella was a relief. "Oh good you're ready...come on we'll all walk together". 

The place was a short walk away from our flat and I couldn't stop my eyes from sneaking glances at Harry as he walked alongside Louis and Niall. He was wearing a simple outfit, a black jumper and black trousers and his feet covered with the same trainers as mine. His hair was pushed back with a slight wave to it.

I was always distracted, but lately I felt like my only distraction was Harry. He was always on my mind, or if he was near my eyes would find him instantly. 

"Evie?". Bella's chirpy voice broke me from my thoughts and my eyes tore away from Harry as they found her walking now slightly in front of me and Lily. "Did you hear me? Maybe we could go back to the pub for a few drinks after golf? Nothing crazy, just a casual drink".

"Yeah...uh yeah sounds good to me". I tried to keep with the conversation that was bouncing between Bella, Zayn and Lily right now, afraid they would notice my attention was occupied by something else. Or someone should I say.

Once we were at the golf venue, Bella got everything organised with the lady behind the counter who placed us into two groups. Bella, Zayn and Lily being one. Niall, Louis, Harry and I being the other. 

The room was slightly dark, the only light were from the LED lights that were scattered around to cause the glow in the dark effect. 

From the first few rounds, I had become the entertainment for the boys, in particular Niall and Louis as it was evident that I could hit the golf ball everywhere other than in the hole. 

I watched as Niall took his turn, he held the club in his hands and softly swung it so it hit the white ball gently. My eyes followed it as it rolled with ease and landed in the hole further away. 

"Well that's what I'm fucking doing, but it just goes the other way". I explained, frustration in my voice and starting to get irritated with the game. I was close to giving up and just watching the others. "This game is rigged...the three of you are cheating or something!". 

"It's not rigged...I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself". Louis tried to explain as he stood in the spot ready for his turn. "Just relax before you swing". Once again, the ball swiftly landed in the hole. 

I found Harry's eyes, knowing it was my turn next. "You can take your go...I give up". I had already made my mind up, I'd rather watch the others have fun than drain them from it. 

"Oh c'mon Green! We're not letting you give up". Niall gave me a look, one I knew that he was serious. "Give it another try". 

"I'll help you". Harry walked over and began to show me how to hold the club. "Place your hand here..and the other one further down". I moved one hand to the top of the club and the other slightly down like he had explained. 

"So what do I do now?". I asked, not wanting to move incase I messed my position up. 

"Now just swing". Niall spoke up as he and Louis stood next to each other. 

"Gently!". Louis added. 

I looked down at the ball that laid still on the spot, waiting for me to make my move. But two hands appeared from behind me, landing on top of my own. My back had company as I felt him stand behind me. My senses were weighed as I could feel his hands on mine and the smell of his vanilla aftershave filled my nostrils at how close we were. But the sound of his voice in my ear, made my heart beat with extra rhythm. 

"Slowly bring the club up and then gently hit the ball". His voice tickled my neck as he spoke into my ear. I could feel my once tense shoulders ease as he swung our arms together. I watched the ball slowly roll, and just like that it disappeared into the hole.

I felt a sudden wave of coldness as he took a step back, but as I turned to face him I was met with a slightly smirk. But before I could process that Harry had helped me to put the ball, Niall picked me up and cheered. "SHE DID IT! WOOHOOO!".

I couldn't hide the smile that filled my face as Niall put me back down. But I was aware that his loud voice and the sound of excitement had caused others to stare. 

"Who knew a little cuddle from Styles was all she needed to relax". Niall playfully gripped Harry's shoulder, almost praising him. "Imagine what a kiss could do". 

"Alright that's enough!". Harry stopped the teasing as Niall and Louis shared a glance before they walked on to the next round. 

I looked up at Harry's taller frame as we walked together. "Thank you..for you know...helping". Suddenly I felt conscious that others had seen another side to us. 

"Anytime love...I keep to my promise of helping you". The large smile on Harry's face was full of truth and that's all Evie needed to hear right now. 

---

The walk to the pub involved Niall, Louis and Bella bickering back and forth at who won, who was the best at golf, how they were going to be a team next time and see who the real winner was. If I was being honest, after listening to the three of them I was ready for the drink that sat in front of me on the table.

Tasting the fruity cider run down my throat was relief from the warm atmosphere of the pub. I glanced around the table, but instantly frowned when I noticed Harry was missing. 

"He's gone to the toilets". Niall spoke from the seat next to me. I cursed at myself because was it that obvious that I was looking for Harry. 

"I don't know what you're talking about". I pretended not to know who he was talking about. Not that it worked because Niall saw right through me. 

Niall chuckled to himself as he lifted up his Guinness to his mouth to take a sip before putting it back down in front of us. "Starts with H and ends with Y". 

"Happy?". The sarcasm was dripping from my mouth, as I turned to face Niall properly. His arm reached around to sit behind me, a friendly gesture that had no other meaning to it. 

"That's what you will be if you let your guard down and give Harry a chance". His once teasing tone had been replaced with a gentle and serious tone. "Have fun Eves...you deserve it". 

I thought about his words, I was always overthinking and thinking the worst case scenario. But for once I needed to take the plunge and dive in deep and like fate, Harry walked back towards our table.

---

Taglist:

[weirdbrothers]

[Some photos documenting my old blog]

One Direction was my life for 6 years and formed who I am today, theres no other way to put it. I became a fan in 2012 and the fandom engulfed my life. I would listen to their music all day, watch every single interview, stay up all night blogging (and crying) about them. Years would pass and it would influence the career I chose, the city I moved to and how I view love, friendship and celebrity.

If you pulled me aside any day between 2012 and 2018 I could tell you where every member of that band was and what they were doing. Some people know I’m also a big Taylor Swift fan, but how much I love her and her music doesn’t even hold a candle to my dedication to the boys. When drama was going doing in 2012/2013 between Taylor and Harry, I “sided” with Harry and couldn’t listen to Taylor’s music for about 6 months. I ran a One Direction blog that gained over 10,000 followers, and even now in my late 20s it’s still one of my proudest accomplishments. I made edits, read fanfiction and was in the trenches of the fandom for 6 years. Every day from the second I opened my phone in the morning to the music I listened to as I fell asleep was One Direction. It was fun, it was dramatic and it was a cornerstone of my life.

I loved One Direction as band, a unit, a group. Louis was my favorite member, but what drew me to them was their chemistry, dynamic, and love for one another. When Zayn left and they later went on a “hiatus” I was obviously devastated. Any promise of solo careers was salt in the wound, because I didn’t fucking want that. I didn’t like One Direction because they were cute or I just liked the music or had a crush on one member. I loved their stories, their resilience, their care for the fans, and what the five of them together made me feel.

I can say I knew at least a side of Liam, and saying “rest in peace” doesn’t cut it for me. For everything he did for me, what he gave to me and the fans, how much happiness, sadness and love I’ve felt for him. With Liam’s passing, a last part of my innocence and piece of myself is gone. By a strange coincidence, I flew to my childhood home yesterday to stay with my parents, and thats where I got the news. So last night I laid in my old bed that I spent countless hours blogging and listening to One Direction in throughout high school, and I cried for him, for Harry, for Louis, for Zayn and for Niall. 

I’ve spent a very long time being angry, bitter and resentful at them for how One Direction ended, how it just faded away. I hate that they didn’t give the fans a proper goodbye, there was no closure, no bookend to their time as bandmates. Like many fans, I was hoping for a nostalgic reunion tour down the line. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling things for people that don’t know I exist, that never will. I could make a lot of wishes right now about what I want. But it’s a dead end. So I will say the simplest phrase I can to get my emotions across: I miss you. 

I miss you so much it hurts. I miss you so much I couldn’t listen to your music for years. I miss you so much I’ve been fucking pissed at you for how things ended. I miss you so much I could never hate you. I miss you so much, I just want it all back again. I miss you so fucking much.

Thank you for letting us see you Liam, I know that it wasn't easy a lot of the time. Thank you for letting us in. For letting us hear your voice, your story, to see any part of you. I'm so thankful for what you gave me, the rest of the fans, and the boys. I miss you so much.

We're only getting older, baby And I've been thinking about it lately Does it ever drive you crazy Just how fast the night changes? Everything that you've ever dreamed of Disapearing when you wake up But theres nothing to be afraid of Even when the night changes

*Disclaimer: I know very little about the allegations made against him in recent years, and who I’m talking about here is the boy I grew up with.

[watermelonsugacry]

more zayn and y/n moments?? i feel like they have the most adorable friendship everrr ❤️❤️❤️

love your work ❤️🔥

oh there's so many!

So you all know when the band first started, all Zayn would say is Vas Happening?! Well, YN's thing was always saying Aye Oh!

So whenever the cameras would point to them during their fetus era, he would throw an arm over her shoulder and they'd just yell their sayings super duper loudly while making a funny face.

...

During the band's third tour, the two of them would spend some time with their vocal coach in one of the smaller green rooms to go over their harmonies together.

The song they loved to perform together was Right Now because they shared the chorus.

So when they would hit those harmonies perfectly (like they always did), they would give each other a nod of approval, a smug look on their faces before giving each other a high five.

...

YN knew that while he usually presented himself with a hard exterior, she knew that he was a soft teddy bear once you got to know him. One of the activities that she would partake in with him was art. She knew she was shit at it, but she also knew that he loved it.

So during the long rides on the tour bus crossing from one city to another, sitting next to each other during an album signing/meet & greet, or stuck in their hotel rooms, she'd be there with a piece of paper and some type of writing utensil for them to draw whatever came to mind.

There was even an interview in 2014 when they were doing for their new book "Who We Are" where Zayn spent the majority of the time drawing on YN's arm. With a ball point pen, the beautiful mandalas he drew on her skin left her beaming and utterly speechless.

...

There's no denying the fact that those two were the most fashionable members of the band. With Zayn's cool, suave, bad boy style and YN's good girl aesthetic, photoshoots with them were easy and right on the money.

...

For the Night Changes music video, YN was the stand-in for basically all of the boys (except Liam who actually had his girlfriend on set). With each date, she took on the role with some seriousness, acting as if the boys were really taking her on a date.

For Zayn's part, YN actually dressed in a formal black dress to really get into character.

Needless to say, she really got a kick out of making her usually quiet band member laugh throughout the shoot. Like when Ben Winston directed him to offer her some of his spaghetti, she let out a playful sigh of relief, "Yes please. Do you see the sad fookin' excuse of a salad they gave meh?"

Or when her "ex-boyfriend" interrupted her date with Zayn, she actually played along and had an argument with him with a fake backstory she made up: "Johnathan?! What are yeh doing here? I told you to leave me alone. No, I'm over you. No. I'm sorry but I just can't listen to you rant about your Barbie doll collection any longer!"

And when the ex-boyfriend dumps the food on Zayn, as soon as the director yelled cut!, YN quickly got up from her seat and got all up in the building of a man's face (really his chest from how tall the actor was) and says with a deep voice, "the fook man!" But her facade lasted all but 2 seconds before her and everyone just burst out laughing.

...

Since the band's formation, Zayn always had and continues to have a soft spot for YN.

He still views her as a little sister and while they don't talk as much as they used to during their time in 1D, there's not a single birthday, holiday, anniversary, etc. that hasn't gone by without a text between the former band members.

[zot3-flopped]

The article about 1D is illuminating. Although it was known back then Harry wanted separate travel arrangements, that alone should've been proof enough for the ot5's they weren't bffs. It must have been so tense between them if Harry didn't want to even share a jet!

Smoking weed inside a small confined area with other people is so disrespectful. It goes to show Zayn never had any consideration for anyone else, which inevitably lead to him letting everyone down by cowardly running away in the middle of the night. He only thinks about himself. Of course Louis joined Zayn, I bet in they jealously talked shit about Harry. Zayn said in a deleted scene in the This Is Us movie: "Harry is the perfect pop star, born for it". Zayn also said he quit the band to get a head start on the others (translation: before Harry). Louis said after the split he was irked to see Harry's rise to fame. You just know their failing asses wish they had a sliver of Harry's charisma and talent.

In almost a decade nothing has changed with Zayn, he's still smoking weed like a chimney. There's another reason to add why his career never took off. If he couldn't get his shit together when he had an crew of people doing everything for him and he still didn't have enough drive or energy when he had a group to do it along with him. What chance did he think he'd have doing it alone?! No one holds him down or accountable for his laziness.

He was flakey even before he left 1D, once again showing Zayn is incapable of thinking about anyone else but Zayn. The amount of time and money that was wasted on this guy is ridiculous.

I can already hear Zayn stans refusing to accept Zayn was a violent dick even before meeting the Hadids. Zayn stans try to maintain Zayn was only violet with Yolanda (and the bodyguard - which his stans always forget to mention!) because Yolanda 'pushed him to it'. We know he was aggressive with everyone years prior, even to his own band mates! Thanks to Maya we know it was Zayn who started a physical altercation with Liam!

Looking back it's funny Zayn said they were all sick of each other when the reality was everyone was sick of him. He was a douchebag and rightfully no one liked him because of it, and because Zayn is so stuck up his own ass he thinks everyone else was at fault.

It was obvious Louis and Harry have bad blood between them. And it's clear Louis also had his head up his own ass too, because how can he claim he was angry, upset, and blindsided the band was ending when his friend was struggling to the extent Liam was? Especially when complete strangers could see the signs as clear as day!

Niall must have gone through so much popcorn watching all this go down.

Brilliant! Agree with every word. You're right - Louis was beyond selfish for wanting 1d to continue, and Zayn was just lost in his own stoned world, not thinking about anyone but himself.

[hsgucci94]

What’s not being said out loud

Word count: 1k

A/N: this gif is how I imagined his face looking like :((

masterlist

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“No, all I’m saying is that you should set some boundaries with him,” Harry spoke, trying to keep calm and not letting it all out like he wanted to do. He had been stuck in that place for years, not being fully honest with her, but mostly himself. And now that Y/N had a boyfriend, someone very different to all her previous exes and with whom she saw herself in the future, it had him panicking.

“What? Boundaries?”, Y/N replied, astonished, “If anything, it’s you I should set boundaries with, not James!,” she quickly shook her head, in an attempt to make her angry feelings disappear. He just couldn’t be for real right now. “You’re being so rude, Harry, and for what? I know you don’t like him but c’mon! He’s my boyfriend!”

“And he’s trying to keep you away from me!”

“Well, seeing how you’re behaving right now I think he’s got his reasons! What's got into you? You’re acting like a child!”

“I’m not!” he replied right away, "I'm just expressing how I see things between you and James from an outside perspective. How even is that overreacting?!"

"I just told you James wants us two to hang out a bit less, and your instant reaction is to tell me he's toxic and controlling? Well, you're not one to talk right now!"

Harry got up from the couch, as angry as he was anxious. He quickly made his way to the kitchen. What was supposed to be a chill afternoon at his place, watching movies and catching up before he left for his last leg of the Love On Tour, ended up turning into the messiest argument they had ever had since they had known each other, almost ten years now.

He rested his hands on the cold countertop, his body leaned forward as his head hit the drawer in front on him. He shut his eyes and forced his mind to go blank, but it didn’t work. He could only think about Y/N, and how it now seemed he was losing her for good. And only because he was a coward that wouldn’t admit his feelings to her.

At 19 years old he called it a crush, which he didn’t take into action because she soon got a boyfriend; someone that went to the same college as her, or whatever. He never bothered remembering that guy's name anyway. At 20, he almost confessed he liked her, but then Y/N went on about how she considered him her very best friend and... Well, he basically got friend-zoned. At 21 he tried another shot and this time he did it, he really did. He told her he liked her..., like a lot. And all he got for an answer were her giggles, and her saying that he was so drunk that he had probably no idea what he was saying. That part was true, thought, he got pretty wasted that night, only because Zayn was no longer part of the band and that hurt, but it didn’t mean his words were bullshit. Because they were not! Alcohol was simply in his system to boost him and give him the confidence to finally open up to her in that sense.

Fast forward to the next day, he got too embarrassed he decided to never bring that topic up again. Neither did she. Ever since then, he had been loving her from a corner, silently watching her fall for one asshole after another, wishing he had the chance they all were gifted.

Time passed, and Harry managed to focus on their friendship and see her the same way she saw him: as his best friend. But then those feelings he was forced to hide under the blanket for so long resurfaced and now he just couldn’t put them back. There was just one issue, and his name was James, a guy Y/N had been dating for half a year and who apparently didn’t like Harry very much. To be fair, the feeling was mutual. Who did James think he was to keep him away from Y/N? She might have dated some douchebags award-winners, but at least none of them ever tried to push him out of her life.

Maybe James saw what Y/N was so oblivious to; maybe James knew Harry wanted her, as well.

"Hey... H? I'm... I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes and turned around at the sound of her voice, seeing her walking towards him with a distraught countenance. "I didn’t mean any of it, it was just the heat of the moment. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay," he nodded, smiling faintly at her, "I didn’t mean what I said either. James is a great guy, it's just that-"

"Tour's about to start and it has you a bit anxious. I understand," she passed her arms around him and hugged him. He tended to turn into a bunch of nerves the previous days before going on tour, a bad habit he had developed during his One Direction days, which got him doing and saying things he mostly regretted.

"Yeah, you’re right," he mumbled against her hair, although that was not the case at all, "Will you come see me on tour?"

"Pss. Obviously,” she giggled, turning her head to look up at him, “Me and James already got that planned out."

Of course James would be there too.

[elastylinson28]

It’s just starting to sink in that Liam is actually gone, and we will never see him again. One day, we will reach his age and be older than he ever was. And the most painful truth of all is that he’s now just a memory, and that is all he’ll ever be.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to friends messaging me, asking if it’s true. I didn’t know what “true” meant; I had no idea what was going on. I was so confused until one friend said, “It’s all over social media—Liam’s dead.” I immediately opened Twitter and saw the freshest tweets talking about the accident. I struggled to believe it. I thought maybe it was just a hoax, considering he’d just been in the spotlight a week ago, once again facing backlash. Then I went on Facebook and saw Good Morning America post about it, along with familiar names—names from years ago, names I hadn’t seen in a while, but still recognized from the days when I grew up loving One Direction.

I was shaken.

I didn’t know that a celebrity’s death could hit me this hard. Tears quickly followed, and I felt overwhelmed, like I might pass out. Just a few days before, I had been on Twitter defending Liam’s name over the pettiest reasons, with people pointing out the little things he did, claiming that the rest of the 1D guys always hated him.

I soon found out about the allegations against him, yet the little girl in me—the little girl who loved One Direction so deeply—just finds it hard to believe. Still, I gave the women my trust and decided that maybe it was time to accept that I don’t know these men personally. I chose to stay clear and quiet about all things Liam, as I couldn’t bring myself to even say anything, especially against him. It sounds wrong, but you can’t just simply erase all the years you spent loving and supporting someone that quickly. Instead, I chose to focus on the other lads and ignore all the controversies.

Days passed, and what was meant to be just another random day, the 17th, became a day that changed everything. I woke up to a completely different world—a world where Liam doesn’t exist. It’s a day I will never forget; a day that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I spent the entire day on social media, sharing my grief with strangers who, like me, share a love for these guys, as well as people from my past who loved One Direction just as deeply. We all share this grief, all over the world, mourning for what has gone and what could’ve been. It did not have to end like this—a tragedy of this magnitude is so painful that it eats you alive.

It’s been years since I’ve come to terms with the fact that they are never coming back, and that’s okay. I accepted that, knowing that the little girl in me won’t and will never be able to. I believed that one day, when they were much older, they’d reunite for the last time—all five of them: Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry, and even Zayn. I knew it would be far, far off in the future, but I believed it would happen. But with his passing, all hope is gone. No matter what happens, One Direction just isn’t One Direction anymore, and that, I think, is the toughest pill I’ve ever had to swallow.

Liam’s gone.

Liam has always been the light of the band. Even as a young girl, I knew and recognized that he led them; he was called the “Daddy Direction” for a reason. Even after the band, he remained so supportive of them. As painful and hard as it is to admit, Liam didn’t get the recognition and success that the other four have. To see someone you adored get left behind and hated by the fans of the same people he called brothers hurt. And that is a fact that will always devastate me—how wronged he was by the public and the industry, and how that led him to inflict harm not just on himself but also on others. He needed help. He deserved help—a chance to get better. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if things hadn’t gone wrong.

It’s so heartbreaking to think of the weight of all his struggles, the loneliness he must have felt, and the lost moments that can never be reclaimed. He died believing the world had turned its back on him, he was robbed of a second chance at life. He will never have the opportunity to witness his son grow up or create new memories with his family. Most tragically, he never got to experience the outpouring of love he is receiving now from the world and his brothers, a love that he deserved to feel when he was still alive.

Liam, you deserved so much more than the silence that now surrounds you. Rest now, knowing you will never be forgotten.

[zarry-ot5]

Love You Goodbye

This will be discussing March 2015 and include whatever I can find on all of the boys in that timeframe. I believe Truth lives in the middle. I don't want to spread opinions, so these will contain facts only. If there are pictures I will indicate, but due to limitations of Tumblr can't post them all. There is a 6-7 hour time difference between Asia and London.

Another thing of interest, at this time, Dan Wooton is over The Sun and The Daily Mail. Simon Jones is the Publicist in charge of the image of all the boys in One Direction. Simon Jones is still the active publicist for Perrie Edwards, Louis Tomlinson, and Niall Horan.

March 10, 2015:

Lou Teasdale, Lux, Gemma Styles and Lottie Tomlinson arrive at Changi Airport in Singapore. Pictures with fans.

Niall tweet

H pictured leaving LAX on private jet

March 11, 2015:

H pictured arriving at Changi airport wearing Red Velvet Star Jacket.

Louis is pictured with fans in Changi airport.

Z pictured on private jet with cousin Jawaad. Upon landing in Singapore takes pictures with fans.

One Direction performs at the National Stadium in Singapore.

Gemma is seen at Singapore show with Lou Teasdale and Baby Lux.

March 12, 2015:

H arrives in Bangkok. Pictures exist of Harry at Nightclub with Gemma.

(Pictured Jawaad Malik, Zayn Malik, Martina Olsson, and her friend). Notice his and Jawaad shirts are the same night he's pictured with Laura.

Of note, Seduction Nightclub is an adult themed night club, with scantily clad women dancing on tables. It is not a strip club, just adult themed. This Nigh Club permanently closed in 2019.

According to The Daily Mail, Maria Olsson says Zayn and Louis went to Seduction Night Club where she met and left with Zayn, had a one night stand, and met up with him again the next morning after Lauren had left.

March 13, 2015:

I do need to make a side note, the distance from Smalls to the Sukhothai Hotel, where everyone stayed, is 3 min in a car. Literally just around the corner and up the street. The distance from the hotel to the stadium where they performed is 22 miles in a car.

Smalls is a 3 story building with a restaurant in the lower floor, where they have live music and a DJ booth. The upper two floors consist of an enclosed bar and a covered outdoor bar.

According to my research, Harry had gone to Smalls Live Music Nightclub.

Gemma pictured in Bangkok with Lou Teasdale and a fan.

Pictures also exist of Gemma and Harry at a Nightclub together, which I am going to assume was Smalls.

Zayn went to Seduction Night Club with Louis and cousin Jawaad, to watch DJ Examples set. This is where he met and was photographed with Lauren Richardson. She later stated she was invited to a Villa at a Hotel that Louis and Zayn we're renting in Phuket.

March 14, 2015:  

Louis Tomlinson photos kissing Lucy Julian were reportedly taken at the same all-night pool party at Bangkok’s Sukhothai Hotel at 6:30am on the morning of their March 14 concert, The Daily Mail reported.

There are pictures of Louis exiting the pool and returning to the lobby of the hotel.

H is photographed with DJ Buddha and DJ ONO before the show

The band played in Bangkok, Thailand at the Rajamangala Stadium.  

H photographed with Model at dinner.

Gemma and Lou Teasdale photographed with with a fan in Bangkok at a restaurant.

According to Joe Cummings, after their concert, Harry came back to Smalls and was told by Harry he and Zayn had a falling out.  

The timing of this is the concert started at 8:00 pm local time. Their set was 20 songs and and encore of 3. Their opening act was DJ ONO, and DJ Buddha was his promoter at the time. So 1D would have gone on by 8:30-9:30 pm. 1D set would have been about 1.5 - 2 hour set...they would have been done by 11:30 pm. 25 min drive back to the hotel, gets them back close to midnight. Which is when Joe says he started talking to H. There's some wiggle room in there for showers and what nots.

My Assumption - The argument has have been before the concert and before H was photographed with DJ Buddha and DJ ONO. DJ Buddha is the one who told H about Smalls and made introductions to Joe.

March 15, 2015:

Louis, Ollie Nightclub in Phuket, Thailand

March 16, 2015:

March 17, 2015: 

Harry tweets

Cheating rumors run in media as pictures of Zayn and Lauren Richardsons are published. Richardson will later say nothing happened between them, they met and enjoyed each other's company while together, then went their separate ways. Richardson eventually lands a role in June 2015 on Love Island. For years she is attacked online as the reason One Direction broke up.

March 18, 2015: 

Pictures exist of Lou Teasdale, Lux, Gemma Styles, and Lottie Tomlinson in airport in Hong Kong.

Picture of Lottie, Gemma, and Sophia taken at 1D concert.

Zayn tweet

Band plays last performance with Zayn in Hong Kong

March 19, 2015: 

Zayn is photographed in Heathrow airport in London, England at 5:00 am, Perrie is the one who picks Zayn up from the airport. The flight from Bangkok to London is 14 hours and 15 min.

Gemma and Sophia drinking a glass of wine posted on Gemma's IG.

News of Zayn's departure runs through media. Cited as stress, assumptions made about drug use.

March 20, 2015:

March 21, 2015:

Perform in Manila, Philippines

March 22, 2015:

Perform in Manila, Philippines

March 23, 2015:

Louis Tomlinson pictures published kissing Lucy Julian. 1D publicist indicates E and Louis have been broken-up for 2 weeks.

March 24, 2015:

March 25, 2015: 

Performance in Jakarta Indonesia

Statement released via Facebook that Zayn has left 1D.

Perform

March 26, 2015:

Media starts reporting Harry wants to branch out in his own solo projects, Harry crying on stage during March 25 concert.

H tweets: All the love as always. H

Liam: So glad to hear in bed after a strange 24 hours.

Niall: Been a mad few days and your support has been incredible as per usual ! This in turn Spurs us on to make the best music we possibly can

Louis: Been a crazy couple of days but know that we are going to work harder than ever to deliver the best album we've ever made for you guys !

March 27, 2015:

March 28, 2015:

Pictures of Harry in Johannesburg airport carrying guitar case

Perform at Johannesburg, South Africa

March 29, 2015:

Perform at Johannesburg, South Africa

March 30, 2015:

Pictured with Perrie in London, house hunting with Tricia Malik.

[larrydidthething]

I've seen a lot of comments about it but don't really know the background of it. How did people make Liam delete his posts? What did they say to him?

5/5 or 4/5 (back when 4/5 meant Zayn left..) would be supportive and had nice things to say. That’s obv in his posts throughout his socials. Ofc the hate from random trolls and people would be there too.

But when he would post about them?

Every time he would post about the boys or the band, there would be people saying he was “clout chasing” or “attention seeking” or “making everything about him”, and petty solo rivalries?? Pinning the boys against each other type shit.

Dude couldn’t even congratulate them without people saying he was envious or something? Like how does that make sense?? Couldn’t say nothing about their songs, their performances, or the movies.

His IG posts for Harry’s Grammy award or for Louis’ film (the ones I can for sure tell you about as I did see the comments on IG and Twitter) were HEAVILY criticized by solo fans. Which is stupid af. His posts were truly so nice. But they hated on him for even talking about them.. some said he shouldn’t speak about them bc they weren’t on his level. Others said he wasn’t genuinely happy for them and that it was jealousy (like wtf?). “he’s trying to stay relevant” “staying in their business” “keep their names out of your mouth” etc.

The hate goes back for YEARS, even when the band was still active. But after the hiatus, It def added to that ugly “hate Liam” trend 🙃🙃

What I’m trying to say is, the hate obviously got to him. Resulting in him deleting the posts. Many of them. But those 2 I FOR SURE remember. Very clearly bc that shit pissed me off I didn’t sleep well.

And yk what’s even more fucked up? He was the main one who posts for the 1D anniversary… and that was maybe, MAYBE, the one day everyone was “omg thank you Liam for keeping 1D alive”. And the next day it was right back to dragging him through the dirt..

But yeah. Sorry it was too long. I’m adding pics of his posts to Harry and Louis in case you haven’t seen them.

He shouldn’t have deleted them.

He shouldn’t be shamed for congratulating his friends.