#zayn talking about the time he left the band

[merryloumas]

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[adelheidvonschicksal]

Hello! I’d love to read your vision of the LoD boys x MC in high school. (High school to adults, just high school, childhood. Anything!) Alllll the cliches appreciated, haha.

Coming-of-Age HC's with the LADS Guys

pairing: fem!reader x Zayne, fem!reader x Xavier, fem!reader x Rafayel

content: fluff, alternate universe (kinda)

Childhood with Zayne is filled with increasingly hot summers and snowy winters. It’s memories of an extroverted young girl dragging along her much more introverted best friend (well, Caleb’s friend first) to make popsicles under the blaze of the June sun and snowmen in the cold of January. In the same way snow melts with the coming of spring, you chip his shell away, making a friendship that’s stronger than any of your lifetimes.

Those years with Zayne are like a pleasant dream, soft and gentle, like his hand when he wipes away the tears from your cheeks whenever you fall or when he places a band-aid on one of the many injuries prone to an adventurous spirit.

Middle School with Zayne is when you first feel fragility in your friendship. You’re realizing you might be growing in different directions.

Zayne is intelligent, often getting attention for his grades and participating in scholars tournaments while you’re busy with your own hobbies and friends that come with them.

There’s hope your friendship will persevere each time you walk home together, each time he lets you share his umbrella on heavy rainy days, and each day he saves to spend with you.

High school with Zayne is confusing. Growing into adulthood is an exciting and nervous situation for anyone but even more-so when everyone but you seem to realize that you have feelings for your childhood friend.

Your grandma is constantly reminding you how smart and handsome Zayne has become. He’s going to study to be a doctor, you know! Maybe you should ask him to prom?

Caleb complains about how Zayne usually takes your side in arguments and does what you want all the time. He frequently teases you every time you sigh over the older boy. Isn’t getting a crush on your older brother’s friend too obvious?

They’re right though, and it’s awkward. What’s more awkward is the stolen kiss with Zayne in the new car his parents got him when he first got his license. You don’t talk about it even after he goes to college.

Meeting Zayne as an adult is nostalgic yet new as you learn about each other again. The trust you had in each other never truly left.

With each trinket, you realize he’s still the same Zayne, quiet and stern on the outside but with a patient and gentle center. However, his smart mouth still rears its head as frequently as it did back in high school.

You watch out for him more as an adult, because you see that he isn’t actually good at caring for himself despite all his intelligence. You make it so he can rely on you to get through the past days and future ones.

You try new things together. You adapt to how your views of the world differ so you can mold those differences together, creating one shared experience in the life you build with one another.

Childhood with Xavier is innocent. Being born on Philos is like being born in a fantasy book. Your world is sword training and ceremony rehearsals, your feet always chasing after the decorated knights and lightseekers before they board their spaceships. In your mind, the world is as limitless as the starry sky promised just beyond its surface.

Xavier is the same way. He says he likes sword training because it’s the only thing he’s good at. Truthfully, he loves that sword, carries it around with him everywhere like a third arm, and you love training with your new fellow student.

As you get older, things start to change for reasons you don’t really understand. The loss of innocence is slow, dragging out like the death of a star. It starts when silly days sword practicing becomes military drills. Then, Xavier’s ceremony rehearsals become real with each trial he has to overcome. It culminates when you find out that he will probably be betrothed one day against his will, which manifests into doubt that you would ever be on the list for a prince to marry.

Military Academy with Xavier offers a surprising amount of freedom as you discover yourself away from the watchful eyes of the royal family. It’s reintroducing him to your favorite snacks and music and sneaking out of the barracks to watch the stars and anything else he couldn’t do under the iron grip of his family.

There’s also many nights helping him study and focus so he can become the best version of himself because he still has rebellious tendencies after all these years.

These tendencies lead you to covering for him and also him talking you into one too many bad ideas. Ideas that leave you carrying one another home on stumbling legs after too many rounds with random wanderers or rounds with liquor way stronger than you know how to deal with.

It’s okay. You have each other to keep the other safe, so attached at the hip that Jeremiah always wonders where the other one is whenever he catches the two of you apart.

His light shines only for you. If you asked, he would give anything to make sure you’re happy: his time, his freedom, his life.

The jealousy and longing to be with you grates against the cage his title keeps around him whenever he sees someone else who has seen your light and fallen in love with you too. It’s written love letters, never signed, but left in your locker, the ones that smell like forget-me-nots and written in a prose that Xavier hopes you won’t recognize as his when he sees you fawning over the little notes.

Your looming graduation reignites the worries about your relationship. You have to come to terms with your respective role as a knight and Xavier as King. Xavier feels the same way.

Yet this part of your life quickly becomes filled with sweet nothings – promises to run away together, carried on his wishes to be with you for the rest of immortality, all wrapped in the little star charm carried on his sword. It makes you realize your feelings were requited all along.

Adulthood with Xavier fills like achieved dreams and nights you never want to end. It’s basking in the company of one another, adorned with kisses and released longing that couldn’t be given years prior.

It’s becoming more than just his guiding starlight but his entire galaxy, and he shows it with each kiss he gives you.

Childhood with Rafayel feels like you’re dreaming. Mermaids aren’t supposed to exist but there’s one right in front of you.

You learn so many things from him. He loves talking about almost anything from his culture to your culture. He loves art, the sunset, and music.

You bring him lots of things from land that you think he would like, spending long days at the beach trading items with him and showing him human toys. It becomes normal to strike out early every weekend to meet the Lemurian boy again and again.

He braids Lemurian ribbons and clips seashell accessories into your hair. He teaches you Lemurian lullabies and sayings. He often gets in trouble for accidentally gifting you family heirlooms without realizing the weight of said items. He just thought it was pretty. Even if he got in trouble, it was worth it to see you smile.

Your time together eventually develops into trying to think of ideas to explore further from the beach. You train to hold your breath a little longer with hopes of making it further into the sea than last time.

Your first kiss is because of the legend that Lemurian kisses can let one breathe underwater. It wasn’t really a big deal back then. However, the memory of it makes your face hot many years later when you think back on it.

The end of summer marks the slowdown of your free time together. It always ends with a pinky promise to spend your next free day with him.

Your 8th grade year with Rafayel is a collage of photos and videos filled with cawing seagulls, the serenade of his harmonica, and the first time your feet were able to touch the surface of the water. Rafayel always seems to want to show off his new powers as the next God of the Sea.

He’s still a child though, which means he is still insistent to sneak to school with you to see what human classes are like. He still talks too smartly to the other students, and you still have to talk him out of a fight with one of the other boys.

It’s an exhausting day but he seemed to have fun running around town with you, saving the day in the strip of pictures printed out from the photo booth and the memory of his first surface world sunset.

Your later teenage years offer even less time together but each time you visit him feels more meaningful than the last even though you can’t go further than the crackle of a bonfire at the edge of the beach. You’re happy with these late nights though because you love the boy from another world.

No matter how many years pass, he’ll always be the boy who gets shy and makes excuse after excuse to avoid singing for you despite being born a siren. He’s the boy who constantly complains about his classmates being idiots for saying you’re going to steal his blood and make him into oil and how they tease him for being friends with a human. He refuses to tell you that it’s more because of his crush on a human. Despite all that, he has no issue dropping hint after hint about how Lemurians can bond with others by giving one of their scales.

Years later, it still makes a lovely necklace to wear when he finally makes his choice to be on land, with you, his beloved bride.

[twopoppies]

Not to deflect attention away from Harry but why is he the only one ever getting blamed for the hiatus, why isn't zayn?

I think Harry is blamed because of things said after the hiatus about Louis being "blindsided" by it and that he had only begun to feel he'd found his place in the band before that. People took It as an absolute fact instead of a marketing spin that might explain why he took some time to release his album. Thus, because Harry was the only one who hit the ground running, he was to blame. Also, there was some talk about Harry being the one who brought it up originally and who felt the band was reaching a point where it would be better to leave while they were still wanted, as opposed to overstaying their welcome.

Zayn alluded to "someone" not wanting to re-sign contracts and that he left so he could get his music out first (likely also a PR spin, but there's no way the hiatus was a surprise just a couple months before it happened).

And basically, because Harry had been labeled as the one who would be "the breakout star" since probably 2012/2013, there were some loud and obnoxious people who decided Harry had been plotting to take over the world since then and that he didn't care about any of the other guys as long as he was a success. They worked overtime to rewrite history, sow doubt among the fans, and further divide them. And it worked.

Liam said Harry cried when they decided on the hiatus. I think H saw the writing on the wall. The five of them were running on fumes. Liam was battling his addictions already (and said he'd likely have died if they hadn't taken a break), Zayn seemed to be struggling with his disordered eating and anxiety, 1D's album and ticket sales were starting to drop after Midnight Memories and the WWA tour. Harry may have been planning a solo career, but he also may have been the only one with any foresight.

People love to blame Harry for everything they don't like because he's technically the most successful. Thus, he got everything he wanted, never struggled, has no trauma, didn't care about any of the others, has all the freedom to do whatever he wants and is a terrible person. Blah, blah, blah.

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of hurt/comfort fics as requested in this ask. This rec is a part 2, you can find part 1 here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

❤️‍🩹 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, superheroes) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe. //an X-Men AU.

❤️‍🩹 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 66k, famous/not famous) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

❤️‍🩹 saw some things on the other side by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 61k, time travel) Louis’ plan doesn’t take into account the fact that instead of writing murder mysteries, he will find himself in one.

❤️‍🩹 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie

(E, 46k, soulmates) Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. 

❤️‍🩹 Train Tracks and Porcelain by @jaerie

(E, 41k, historical circus au) Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

❤️‍🩹 Caves End by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 39k, farm) the one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

❤️‍🩹 My Other Half Was You by @lululawrence

(NR, 35k, acrobat Louis) By the age of 30, Louis' entire life trajectory had changed from what he'd thought it would be. He moved back to the town he grew up in and did his best to pull himself and his life back together again.

❤️‍🩹 All Out of Love by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 32k, cupid au) While on a mission to match Liam and Zayn, the distraction comes in the shape of Louis Tomlinson – an overworked and underloved man trying way too hard to do everything himself.

❤️‍🩹 Until the Pearls Get Lost by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(M, 25k, omegaverse) Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers.

❤️‍🩹 Scarred by @allwaswell16

(E, 23k, omegaverse) As a male omega, Louis has learned to live with disappointment and rejection, but he dreams of the day he finds his soulmate. When Harry inadvertently rejects him as his soulmate, Harry has no idea he's doomed Louis to a slow, painful death.

❤️‍🩹 what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 22k, fwb) A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for.

❤️‍🩹 some evening in springtime by delsicle / @eeveedel

(M, 20k, age difference) Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.

❤️‍🩹 Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt

(T, 12k, omegaverse) weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

❤️‍🩹 Close Enough to Touch by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(M, 11k, tour au) Louis definitely did not need a masseuse on tour. Not even if that masseuse turned out to be gorgeous, kind, and lovely.

❤️‍🩹 I Kinda Need A Hero (Is It You) by @fallinglikethis

(NR, 5k, flower shop) Louis is a barista who’s had his heart broken. Harry is the boy who wants to put the pieces back together.

❤️‍🩹 Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13

(E, 4k, exes) It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.

❤️‍🩹 The Cowboy In Us All by @taggiecb

(G, 3k, famous/famous) When the real pain of trouble in their relationship gets to be too much they turn to the one thing that they can control; the messages in the songs they sing onstage.

❤️‍🩹 Remember Me (When I'm With You) by liberty_barnes / @liberty-barnes

(T, 1k, fallen angel Louis) the one where Louis was cast out and Harry just wants him to be happy.

- Rare Pairs -

❤️‍🩹 your crimes are quiet, my love by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

(E, 97k, Zayn/Liam) A darker Miss Congeniality AU that follows Zayn and Liam, MI5 agents, partners since training and best friends, as they race to stop a serial killer. 

❤️‍🩹 a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

[awinchestershell]

I’m not sure how it still manages to surprise me after all this time, the depths of the selfishness and cruelty of human greed. 

I remember the day One Direction was formed. I remember how nervous they all were, how young and excited and wide-eyed about the possibilities being tossed into their laps. They truly had no idea what was in front of them. 

They were so small, and they had such big dreams that barely fit inside them, and it was so beautiful watching them achieve them. 

I remember watching them become more and more jaded over time, that childish wonder being torn away as the reality around them became more apparent. I remember hundreds upon thousands of tweets and tumblr posts from worried fans about how exhausted they seemed, something in their eyes just not feeling right anymore. 

The day Zayn left the band the world seemed to stop. I couldn’t tell you how many young girls on my social media pages I saw wailing in what at the time seemed like the worst pain this band could ever put us through.

God, how wrong we were. 

It seemed so obvious, even at the time, that there was something more going on. It wasn’t like they were trying to hide it. 

Then Zayn wrote his book and spoke about how much he’d struggled in the band, and for the first time one of the boys had publicly acknowledged how hard it was to be One Direction. And he was still barely scratching the surface.

The band breaks up, or ‘goes on hiatus’, and again it feels like the worst thing they could do. How much harder of a hit can we take? What more is there to lose?

And yet again, it’s so obvious that there’s more going on then they’re saying. They all seem so worn out, downright miserable at times, yet they never stop the grind. They never take a day off. They never sleep. 

Slowly, they start to talk about the reality of being a child star. Of being sixteen years old and handed the world on a silver platter, money and fame and all the things that no one ever even touches in their wildest dreams, and they’re not even out of high school yet. 

They talk of being locked up in hotel rooms for days at a time with nothing to entertain them but the mini bar. Feeling trapped, being a prisoner to their own success. They talk of schedules so busy they shouldn’t be possible, never seeing their own families, cameras in their faces at the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

They begin to write what they really feel. We finally get a peek into their real thoughts instead of what some bighead in a suit is telling them to think.

They write of real love, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling scared, feeling on top of the world, toxic romances that you know are toxic but you stay anyway because you don’t want to be alone, happiness so overwhelming you lose your mind, grief, exploring, running free, coming home, friendship, drugs, sex, all the best and worst parts of being alive. 

They write what they feel, and what they know. They express themselves. 

They find their own paths. We worry, of course we worry. But it’s an honor and a joy watching them find themselves in their music.

We convince ourselves that they’ll come together one day. Not even for a tour, because they’ve changed too much and so have we, but for a charity show, or someone’s birthday, or an anniversary. 

And then TMZ takes a photo.

And now we know that Zayn leaving and the band breaking up meant nothing at all.

It’s a fascinating thing, really. How you can spend years of your life not really thinking of someone anymore and then they’re gone and suddenly they’re all you can think of. 

I never left. I’ve known these boys as long as they’ve known each other. But I’ve seen so many people in the last week see this news and have years of memories come rushing back to them. A whole lifetime of love and joy and community just gone.

It’s a brutal, miserable blow to the most innocent part of you. The part that believes in the goodness of humanity, in the pure joy of creation, being a part of something bigger than yourself. 

All of the jokes, the laughter, the music, the friendship. It’s all just gone.

And the worst part is it didn’t have to happen.

A completely, hilariously avoidable tragedy. 

He’s gone because humanity hates itself. Because we are greedy and cruel. Because a management company exploited those five young boys for money and power until they couldn’t anymore, making sure to torment them along the way. Because men with cameras have to leech off of every vulnerable moment celebrities have, using and abusing their suffering for a quick buck.

Because the anonymous, mindless drones on social media think that their opinion is the only one that deserves to be heard. And that they decide who deserves to live or die. That it’s appropriate to send someone death threats and tell them to burn in hell, and then post jokes and celebratory tweets about them after they’ve killed themself. 

Because TMZ thinks that taking a picture of a man’s dead body and leaking it to the press before his mother has even gotten the call that he’s dead is good journalism. 

This is why he’s gone. 

THis is why there will be another Liam Payne after him. This is why we will never, ever be okay. Because humanity sees a senseless, unnecessary tragedy, and they point and laugh. And they ask how they can make money off of it.

Because we are broken. Fractured down to our core. And there is no fixing us. Not anymore. 

The media took a sweet, funny, bright-eyed 16 year old boy and they sucked all the life out of him. They turned him into a soulless cash cow, they took him for all he had, and when he had nothing left to give they abandoned him. 

And now that he’s gone they’re turning his death into a circus. Instead of allowing him the dignity of dying in peace, surrounded by the love and privacy he deserves, they’ve robbed him of even that.

When a mother is left resorting to begging the internet to not post filth of her child’s dead father so he won’t have to grow up and see it one day, and a crowd of teenage girls are forced to raise their hands up to block cameras from filming a man as he collects the belongings of his dead son, we’re left wondering how we got here. 

Ask yourself just how much of your soul you have left, and if the answer is any at all, how much are you willing to sacrifice to continue playing a part in this nightmare? 

[heystephen]

wait im so curious whats happening rn w liam payne? he was always default the worst 1d guy and ik he like shills nfts but i need the tea on what he did to get twitter to snap

it’s been a wild 24 hours in 1Dville so let me summarize everything the best i can

the beginning of this debacle was that liam flew out to niall’s show in argentina and just really made a spectacle of himself. this drew comparisons to other times the boys (excluding liam) have gone to support each other and been sure to avoid stealing the spotlight from the other one, specifically a time that harry went to see niall as well and left when he realized fans were watching him and not niall on stage. he also made some weird comments on snapchat about him and niall having things to ‘clear up’ which was probably just him trying to stir up drama and attention.. it’s worth noting that liam himself has specifically said that niall has told him more than once to stop talking about him. anyway after the show, liam went to nialls hotel to stand outside and meet NIALLS fans and take pictures with them. this entire thing just put a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths but as far as criticisms liam’s getting right now, this is very tip of the iceberg. like weird but not necessarily bad

THEN we are brought back to when he went on logan paul’s podcast a few years ago and mentioned having a fight with a member of 1D who threw him into a wall. he didn’t say who it was and there was a lot of speculation as to which member it was. his ex girlfriend, maya henry, confirmed via tiktok that it was zayn and joked that she has heard the story an insufferable amount of times. his fans essentially jumped her in the comments and she hit back at them saying that they didn’t know him in the same context that she did as his ex. she has a book out where she talks about the abuse she endured with him, and in her tiktok she talked about how the day she released her book, liam went to see louis in concert for damage control because he knew that two 1D members in the same room always gets attention. she also mentioned that he still stalks her, and still calls her, her mom, her grandmother, her friends, and frequently creates new icloud accounts to harass her. there’s a lot more that can be said for his treatment of maya and the specific things she went through but i think the fact that she says he would openly tell her that he can do anything he wants because one direction fans will defend him says it all..

a fan came forward via tiktok as well and shared that she had been coerced and manipulated into sharing nudes with him through instagram. while she was of legal age, the power imbalance between a fan and a celebrity cannot be overlooked. she was also told by liam that he can get away with anything because he has 1D fans. maya confirmed in the comment section that other women have told her that he did this to them as well.

do with all of this as you will and form your opinion about him and his actions as you will! personally, i find him not just skeezy and weird, but abusive and highly resentful of the success of his former band mates because he knows he will never be remembered as an integral member of one direction and formidable solo artist the way the others are 🫡

[backtotheshitshow]

Ghost Clothes Part 2 : the field.

(Wally Clark x reader)

Part1 part3 part4

Summary: after finding y/n in the locker room, Wally wants to show her around the school.

Warning: idk if there is any 🤷‍♀️

Wally lead the way down the hall, doing his best to make small talk with Y/n.

“How did I not hear about you dying. I’ve been here since the ‘80’s and I never heard of a girl dying in the locker rooms.” Wally questioned.

“I died the same week Zayn left One Direction. So a dead girl wasn’t exactly the top story of the local teens.” Y/n explained.

“Ah yes I remember that band, they were no Motley Crüe though.” Wally says, opening the door to the school office. “Ladies first”

“Thank you. Yeah, I was always more of a 5 seconds of summer girl anyway.” Y/n came to a stop at the lost property bin. Everything in there was awful, old sweaty trackpants and hoodies.

“I’ll wait outside.” Wally says, giving a quick smile before leaving.

The only decent thing y/n could find in the bin was some girls basketball shorts and an AC/DC shirt that looked older than her, well older than what she’s supposed to be. Y/n reluctantly changed out of Wally’s jacket and into the other clothes.

She emerged from the lost property room, to be greeted with a smiling Wally. “Oooh AC/DC, you know they’re in my top ten list of bands to work out to. “ the boy chuckled, taking his jacket back.

Wally felt a twinge of sadness, he longed to see her in just his jacket again. God why was he being such a perv. He just meant this girl. Y/n clears her throat, snapping Wally back to reality.

“What? Sorry did you say something” Wally rambled.

“No. you’re just stairing.” Y/n informs.

“Right, sorry. Ah should we.. I don’t know, go for a walk?” Wally suggests rubbing the back of his neck.

“That sounds nice, actually can we start outside.” Y/n asked.

“Of course, come on I’ll show you the football field.” Wally says excitedly.

…

Wally took y/n out to the field, but he couldn’t help but wonder, we’re they on a date?. Like does them going for a walk and chatting together count as a date. Eventually the two stopped at the five yard line, and took in the scenery, glazing at the moon and all the stars .

“Do you spend a lot of time out here, Wally?” Y/n questioned

“ not as much as you would think. I do like being in the library, theirs always new stuff to read in there. Sometimes I just go to the cafeteria and just watch the student, you know, see how things keep changing year after year.” Wally explains.

“You died in 84, didn’t you?”

“Ah yeah… how’d you know.” The boy asked.

“ well I remember sitting at a game one night and I saw the score board and thought. Who the fuck is this Wally Clark guy? So I googled you. But it never said how you died.”y/n says.

“Oh I was layed out in a tackle on the five yard line. Right where you’re standing actually.”

Y/n instantly took a step back, “shit sorry” she gave Wally an apologetic look.

“It’s ok, they’ve re-grassed this field so many times since then, I doubt there’d be any trace of me left.” Wally gave a light chuckle, but to y/n it seemed forced. “Anyway… here lay down.” Wally encouraged y/n lay on the field and look up at the sky.

It was quiet as they both scanned the flickering light of the night sky, until Wally turned his attention to the girl next to him. He studied her profile, the shape of her nose, how soft her lips looked under the moon light, the way her eyelashes fluttered when she would blink.

Out of the corner of her eye, Y/n noticed Wally staring, again. “You know you have a really bad staring problem, Wally.” Y/n states still looking up at the moon.

Wally immediately turns his head back to the sky. “Sorry.”

The air fell silent again, the only thing y/n could here was the sound of Wally’s soft breaths. It was her turn to stare, y/n looked at the kind boy next to her, he had been so sweet and helpful to her, and under the moon light she wondered why she hadn’t noticed how handsome he was before.

Wally turns and meets Y/n eyes. “ now who’s the one staring” they both chuckle before falling silent again, gazing at each other intently. Wally briefly glanced at the girls lips, only for a second and began to lean closer.

“Who’s that?” Both ghosts jumped apart at the sudden noise.

“Jesus, Dawn. Don’t sneak up on people like that.” Wally sighs.

“Oh I’m sorry, Wally. I just wanted to know who this lovely girl is.” Dawn apologises.

Wally sighs in annoyance “Dawn this is Y/n, Y/n this is Dawn.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Y/n says

“ you too. Did you die during practice?” Dawn asks.

“Practice?”

“Basketball practice, I just thought because of the shorts and the shirt..”

“Oh no these are from lost property, I died in the showers.” Y/n explains.

“Oh my. Well I’m sure one of the ghosts around here can sew, maybe we can make you some new clothes.” Dawn suggests.

“Really! That would be great.” Y/n smiles then looks at Wally, who seems slightly annoyed, “ you don’t mind, do you Wally?”

“No of course not, I’ve got stuff to do anyway.”

“Great” Y/n stands up and begins walking with Dawn back inside the school. “ Hey, Wally I’ll see you later ok.” Y/n shouts from the door.

Wally gives a thumbs up as the girls go inside. Laying back down on the field Wally sighs, asking himself so many questions. Why did he ever think that could of been a date? Why is he so attached to a girl he just met? What is he feeling? Is this what falling in love feels like?

…

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

To add on to the person asking about Larry and if u think it was real- I (unfortunately) used to be one- but as I grew up and kinda connected the dots I realized that if they were together, it likely evolved into something very unhealthy. There’s plenty of evidence that A) Harry wanted a solo career and B) Louis didn’t know. Amongst other unhealthy things… my guess as to why Louis gets so triggered by Larry of course is likely bc of his son, but also bc it’s likely that people are romanticizing his relationship with an ex that hurt him. Can you imagine ur S.O betraying you and you 1) can’t say anything about it 2) have to talk nicely about them anyway but also 3) everyone keeps shipping you two and you can’t scream that this person hurt you. I think they’ve forgiven each other and I don’t think that there’s any true bad blood, but I can imagine it’s exhausting to have to hear about

My guess is that Louis knew that Harry wanted to go solo (if Zayn did, surely Louis did), but at the time of hiatus, Louis (+Niall +Liam) didn’t know how much Harry would try to disassociate himself from One Direction. I think that was the most painful to Louis, Harry’s disloyalty. Louis could probably forgive Harry’s greed and the poor choice of friends, but not the insult to a band he was very proud of.

I also don’t think Harry’s change was something that happened right away; it wasn’t a switch that turned on January 1, 2016. Through 2016 Louis had a lot of personal issues to deal with (Freddie’s birth, Jay’s illness), and if I recall, in early 2017 Louis was patiently watching and waiting to see what would happen. There was a feeling of optimism that all of 1D could all do some sort of solo projects and support each other. Remember when Harry retweeted the photo of Louis drinking a milk shake, in April 2017? Harries won’t admit that he did this intentionally, but Harry Styles did, and the tweet was left up for 45 minutes. I think Louis was aware.

In 2017, Louis had praised Harry’s music and film (and hyped everyone else’s projects), wished Harry a happy birthday online, and given a lot of good will. Louis also denied Larry in July 2017 so Harry wouldn’t have to (but he still got to say he was “unlabeled”— LGBT friendly). At some point, it became clear that Harry wouldn’t return Louis’ good will, and that it wasn’t in Sony’s plans, either. Louis had taken the high road, and he got played. I think Louis used a word in his 1883 magazine interview, that people who weren’t native to LA but were transplants from elsewhere were “snakes.” For Louis, that’s a loaded, emotional word, with a lot of personal betrayal behind it.

I do think that Louis gets very irritated by the mention of Larry these days. You can see the difference in his facial expression between 2017 (sardonic, playful) and 2024 (tired, sick of it, disgusted). Louis took the extraordinary step of blocking HLD. Blocking a UA is something he has never done.

I would agree with you that Louis has gotten over whatever happened with Harry. He talks about Harry as a brother, not unlike Niall, in a neutral way. Both at the Euros finals and at Liam’s funeral, they were in the same vicinity with little to no interaction— neither positive nor negative. They didn’t avoid each other but weren’t visibly warm toward one another. Louis’ sister Lottie was at the funeral as well, seen only talking to Zayn’s family. Louis had no interactions with Ben Winston or James Corden, whom he’s known for ages. When Louis did talk to someone, it was Zayn.

Part of the reason that I think Louis is able to let go of the past is that he is secure in his own career now, with his own investments and projects, and a clear way ahead. AOTV was an exorcism of sorts. When Louis wrote Walls, he could say goodbye to those traumas through his creativity. When he made AOTV, he processed the trauma from One Direction, including the most hurtful, most traumatic times. Unlike Harry, Louis has no pettiness. He doesn’t really ever blame others, but rather tries to work out how to get it out of his own system.

But you can understand that a normal person only has so much forbearance for fans’ invasive, toxic nonsense. No matter how clearly Louis shows his displeasure, Larries don’t give up. I think this is one main reason that Louis rarely ever comes on social media.

Addendum: I also think that because Liam died from issues of addiction, anxiety, and lack of self-confidence, Louis feels responsible in a way, because he had always tried to publicly support and defend Liam. And I do think that Louis feels his bandmates could have done more for Liam, especially Harry, who never publicly returned Liam’s support or friendship. I think this is a very tough thing to forgive. I think Zayn’s gesture is wonderful, and I know Louis sees it too.

[daisyblog]

Chapter 3: Evie

Show Me Love Summary

Trigger warnings:  18+, anxiety, strong language, undiagnosed/struggling with learning difficulty

< Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 >

Evie

Monday morning had to be the worst part of the week. After a two day break, it seemed like a tease that the alarm was going off again. But I suppose a 10am start was better than 9. Despite Friday night being a little rocky with me drinking myself to the point of needing Harry's help, and bed, the weekend had been nice. 

Harry and I went to the bands night, and it was the most fun I'd had in a while. We talked, laughed, danced and sang our hearts out. I liked him before Saturday night, and the way he allowed me to be myself just made me fall a little more. We'd been messaging back and forth since and I was enjoying whatever was happening right now. 

It was tempting for me to lay in bed longer and scroll through my phone. But I fought the urge to look at what others were doing with their morning, and concentrated on what I was doing with my own. 

I used the time to self-care. I'd showered, washed my hair using my new products that Bella had recommended to me. My hair was grateful to be left down and loose, instead of being thrown up messily on top of my head due to the lack of time I had. 

The autumn weather outside had me opting for some dark grey trousers, paired with a white t shirt and layering with a grey jumper over the top. Being loyal my black trusty converse were chosen. Before picking up my bag, my favourite Zara perfume was sprayed and for once I felt prepared. 

I was alone in the flat this morning. Bella had stayed with Zayn over the weekend, and Lily explained she was going into uni early to study ahead of her exam this week. Checking the time as I walked down the street, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was only 9:40. 

Placing my earphones in as I walked, the sound of The Kooks playing into my ears, caused me to a skip in my step. 

"She moves in her own way". I mumbled the lyrics to myself, before noticing I had nearly reached the building. 

I felt like I had only just lived this moment as I entered the building and climbed the daunting stairs, taking my earphones out and making my way to the class. 

Walking down the long hallway, I manoeuvred through the groups of students who were lingering around. Reaching the classroom door, I stopped in my tracks as I was greeted with an empty room and no life in sight. 

I pulled my phone out from my pocket and quickly sent a message to Niall, checking that we did have a class this morning. The sound of my phone, broke me from my thoughts. 

Niall:  The class got cancelled about 10 minutes ago, we had an email. Me and Harry are in the library, come and join us! x 

I thought about avoiding the library and heading back home, and wasting my day with extra sleep and possibly watching reruns of Friends. But knowing Harry was there, it was tempting for me. 

I scanned the room that was filled with rows of bookshelves, there were other students scattered around as they studied. I was about to give up looking, but then I spotted them tucked away in the corner, both talking as their fingers typed away on the keyboards. 

Niall noticed me first, he wore a big smile on cheeks as I walked towards them. "Green girl!". His accent dragging the 'i' out, making a few people turn to see who was making the noise. 

"Horan boy!". I mocked, as I placed my bag down on the table and pulled out the chair beside Harry. I could sense his eyes on me as I felt the ripple through my stomach. "Hi!". 

Harry wore a slight smirk as he watched me sit down next to him. "Hi!". There was an atmosphere between us and I secretly liked it. The thrill of knowing something was happening but still being kept in the dark. 

After pulling out my notebook and a few pens and highlighters from my bag, I glanced at Niall and took a double glance when I saw his eyes squinting as he looked between Harry and I. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?". I questioned, feeling a little insecure as his eyes burned into mine. 

"What the fuck was that?". He questioned us, but Harry's attention never left his laptop as he carried on typing. "Hi!". Niall mocked us. 

"It's a way of saying hello Niall...you know when you greet someone". I sassily replied, a tad of attitude in my voice. Harry rubbed his finger under his nose as he tried not to reveal his smirk. 

Niall folded his arms as he sat back in his chair. "Pfft!...what do you think I am...stupid?". I raised my eyebrows in banter, knowing Niall and I had the friendship to do so. "You two went out last night...so what's going on?". 

I didn't give Harry a chance to find his voice. "Oh waw...a boy and girl hung out by themselves once...that must mean they're fucking". Harry must have been surprised by my bluntness because he choked on his breath and coughed into his hand. 

"Nobody said anything about fucking Green...but the tension between you two...waw!". Niall playfully bit back, as he gave me a knowing grin. "I'm watching you two". 

"What are you both doing anyway?". I gestured towards their laptops as I could see a few documents open on Harry's screen. 

"We have an assignment due in a couple of weeks for the marketing module...so we're starting it early". Harry took a break from typing to explain to me, stretching his arms up exposing his lower tummy. I looked away quickly not wanting to be caught starting at the ink. 

"Sounds like another all nighter for me the day before". I picked up the pink highlighter and began to doodle on the notepad laid on the table. 

"And you still manage to get a high mark!". Niall complimented, before continuing. "Imagine if you started now, you'd get like an eighty or higher". 

At the conversation turning to talk about my grades, my right leg began to bounce in anxiety as it reminded me of the many conversations my parents had with me. 

"Believe me..I wish I could motivate myself to just get the assignments done early but I can't concentrate". I was honest. I'd tried to start assignments early in the past and I'd end up getting distracted by a sound outside or scrolling through Instagram, and by the time I'd noticed I'd lost interest in it. 

"Perhaps set yourself a challenge...for every hundred words you write...give yourself a break or watch your favourite series for half hour". Harry suggested next to me, Niall nodded his head in agreement. It sounded like a great idea, but the reality of it would be I'd give myself the reward without writing any words. 

"I suppose...I just haven't got the will power". I dramatically laid my head and arms on the table in defeat. 

"I can help you, if you'd like". Harry suggested with a shrug, like it was nothing and not him offering to give up some time to help me. My eyes stared in happiness, the thought of someone wanting to help me without strings attached was a new feeling for me. 

"Oh for fucks sake, will you two just fucking kiss and get it over with!". Niall moaned as he threw a crumpled up piece of paper at Harry. 

Harry picked the ball of paper up and playfully threw it back and hit Niall on his head. "Fuck off Ni!". I rolled my eyes, still drawing doodles on the paper in front of me, thinking how I should have been tucked up under my duvet watching Friends. "Ever heard of being kind and helping others?". 

"I have...so let's go and get some lunch before you two end up eating each other". I watched as he closed his laptop lid and placed it in his rucksack, Harry following suit. "C'mon Green...you're coming too". 

I locked eyes with Harry, as I quickly rushed to put my notebook and pens into my own bag not wanting to keep them both waiting. But catching me off guard and earning a blush on my cheeks was when he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Good thing he doesn't know about us cuddling". 

My head spun around and was grateful that Niall was already walking ahead of us. Not wanting to be the centre of more teasing. 

---

Friday had appeared quickly and as much as the week had been quiet, I was glad to see it arrive. Bella, Lily and I had planned a girls day for tomorrow and I was excited to spend some time with them both. 

Harry and I had been texting back and forth most of the week. The conversation had moved on from just talking about music and sending each other songs that we wanted the other to listen to, and it felt like we were getting to know one and other. 

Whenever my phone pinged, I was like an excited teenager again grinning at it because my crush had replied to me. But as soon as the excitement came, so did the overthinking. Was Harry just texting as a friend? Did he feel sorry for me? Does he even want to talk to me or is he too nice to not reply? The thoughts circled me and it was hard to push them away. 

The sound of my phoned pinged as I laid on my bed, I picked it up expecting to see Harry's name but instead I'd been added to a group chat. 

SQUAD Bella, Lily, Evie, Zayn, Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam

Bella💕 This GC should have happened a long time ago!! Hi besties! Me and Zayn are thinking of going to mini golf tonight, any of you bitches fancy it???

Lily🌸 I'll come!💜

Louis T Oioi! Count me in lads!! 

Liam P I'm going home this weekend, got a family party. But have fun!!

Niall Boring Payno!! Can't wait to show you all how it's done ⛳️ 

Evie Yesssss!🥰

Harry I'll be there! 

Bella💕 Sucks to be you Li! Maybe next time?!✌🏼Great, I've booked it for 7pm xx

I checked the time at it was already 5:07, meaning I needed to hurry and get ready. Usually I'd throw on some jeans and t shirt for a last minute plan, but tonight I wanted to impress a green eyed man, with curls. 

I pulled my loose off grey mom jeans from the hanger along with a long sleeved black top, that was slightly cropped and my black and adidas trainers screamed at me to be worn. I added a slight wave to my already curled hair and tidied up my make up from earlier. Adding a bit more blush to my pink cheeks and some lip balm to my lips.

I couldn't help but wonder where Lily was. I knew Bella was over at Zayn's, so she would probably meet us there. I wondered down the hallway of the flat and coincidentally Lily walked out from her room. 

"Ooo Evie! You're looking hot girl!". Lily's voice went high pitched. I looked down at my outfit and for once I felt good in my skin. I liked how I looked and I was happy with my outfit choice. 

"Says you! I love that jumper!". Lily was wearing a loose black jeans that hugged her figure nicely, and paired it with a Nike hoodie and her black converse. 

Our front door unlocking caused me to turn with worry. But seeing Bella was a relief. "Oh good you're ready...come on we'll all walk together". 

The place was a short walk away from our flat and I couldn't stop my eyes from sneaking glances at Harry as he walked alongside Louis and Niall. He was wearing a simple outfit, a black jumper and black trousers and his feet covered with the same trainers as mine. His hair was pushed back with a slight wave to it.

I was always distracted, but lately I felt like my only distraction was Harry. He was always on my mind, or if he was near my eyes would find him instantly. 

"Evie?". Bella's chirpy voice broke me from my thoughts and my eyes tore away from Harry as they found her walking now slightly in front of me and Lily. "Did you hear me? Maybe we could go back to the pub for a few drinks after golf? Nothing crazy, just a casual drink".

"Yeah...uh yeah sounds good to me". I tried to keep with the conversation that was bouncing between Bella, Zayn and Lily right now, afraid they would notice my attention was occupied by something else. Or someone should I say.

Once we were at the golf venue, Bella got everything organised with the lady behind the counter who placed us into two groups. Bella, Zayn and Lily being one. Niall, Louis, Harry and I being the other. 

The room was slightly dark, the only light were from the LED lights that were scattered around to cause the glow in the dark effect. 

From the first few rounds, I had become the entertainment for the boys, in particular Niall and Louis as it was evident that I could hit the golf ball everywhere other than in the hole. 

I watched as Niall took his turn, he held the club in his hands and softly swung it so it hit the white ball gently. My eyes followed it as it rolled with ease and landed in the hole further away. 

"Well that's what I'm fucking doing, but it just goes the other way". I explained, frustration in my voice and starting to get irritated with the game. I was close to giving up and just watching the others. "This game is rigged...the three of you are cheating or something!". 

"It's not rigged...I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself". Louis tried to explain as he stood in the spot ready for his turn. "Just relax before you swing". Once again, the ball swiftly landed in the hole. 

I found Harry's eyes, knowing it was my turn next. "You can take your go...I give up". I had already made my mind up, I'd rather watch the others have fun than drain them from it. 

"Oh c'mon Green! We're not letting you give up". Niall gave me a look, one I knew that he was serious. "Give it another try". 

"I'll help you". Harry walked over and began to show me how to hold the club. "Place your hand here..and the other one further down". I moved one hand to the top of the club and the other slightly down like he had explained. 

"So what do I do now?". I asked, not wanting to move incase I messed my position up. 

"Now just swing". Niall spoke up as he and Louis stood next to each other. 

"Gently!". Louis added. 

I looked down at the ball that laid still on the spot, waiting for me to make my move. But two hands appeared from behind me, landing on top of my own. My back had company as I felt him stand behind me. My senses were weighed as I could feel his hands on mine and the smell of his vanilla aftershave filled my nostrils at how close we were. But the sound of his voice in my ear, made my heart beat with extra rhythm. 

"Slowly bring the club up and then gently hit the ball". His voice tickled my neck as he spoke into my ear. I could feel my once tense shoulders ease as he swung our arms together. I watched the ball slowly roll, and just like that it disappeared into the hole.

I felt a sudden wave of coldness as he took a step back, but as I turned to face him I was met with a slightly smirk. But before I could process that Harry had helped me to put the ball, Niall picked me up and cheered. "SHE DID IT! WOOHOOO!".

I couldn't hide the smile that filled my face as Niall put me back down. But I was aware that his loud voice and the sound of excitement had caused others to stare. 

"Who knew a little cuddle from Styles was all she needed to relax". Niall playfully gripped Harry's shoulder, almost praising him. "Imagine what a kiss could do". 

"Alright that's enough!". Harry stopped the teasing as Niall and Louis shared a glance before they walked on to the next round. 

I looked up at Harry's taller frame as we walked together. "Thank you..for you know...helping". Suddenly I felt conscious that others had seen another side to us. 

"Anytime love...I keep to my promise of helping you". The large smile on Harry's face was full of truth and that's all I needed to hear right now. 

---

The walk to the pub involved Niall, Louis and Bella bickering back and forth at who won, who was the best at golf, how they were going to be a team next time and see who the real winner was. If I was being honest, after listening to the three of them I was ready for the drink that sat in front of me on the table.

Tasting the fruity cider run down my throat was relief from the warm atmosphere of the pub. I glanced around the table, but instantly frowned when I noticed Harry was missing. 

"He's gone to the toilets". Niall spoke from the seat next to me. I cursed at myself because was it that obvious that I was looking for Harry. 

"I don't know what you're talking about". I pretended not to know who he was talking about. Not that it worked because Niall saw right through me. 

Niall chuckled to himself as he lifted up his Guinness to his mouth to take a sip before putting it back down in front of us. "Starts with H and ends with Y". 

"Happy?". The sarcasm was dripping from my mouth, as I turned to face Niall properly. His arm reached around to sit behind me, a friendly gesture that had no other meaning to it. 

"That's what you will be if you let your guard down and give Harry a chance". His once teasing tone had been replaced with a gentle and serious tone. "Have fun Eves...you deserve it". 

I thought about his words, I was always overthinking and thinking the worst case scenario. But for once I needed to take the plunge and dive in deep and like fate, Harry walked back towards our table.

---

Taglist:

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

To my fellow adult directioners, how are you?

I've been trying to really think and put into words what I want to say. I don't even know if there are words to describe what I feel at the moment. I feel sad, depressed, and just a deep ache. I feel like a part of my childhood has crumbled inside.

I became a One Direction fan when I was about 9 years old. I was going through a really rough time and was dealing with separation anxiety. I was on youtube one night and came across the What Makes You Beautiful music video. I instantly fell in love. I was hooked and I couldn't get enough.

4th and 5th grade were an extremely hard time for me and yet I got through it. Not only because of my family, but mainly because of One Direction. They made me laugh and their music made me feel better. Their posts and the videos of them, their performances brought me so much comfort. They could make me smile unlike anything before. They were what introduced me to fandoms.

I had never felt like I belonged anywhere until I became a Directioner. They introduced me to 5SOS and Little Mix, they showed me how special being in a fandom was. They shed so much light and happiness to my life when I felt like I was drowning. I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for them. Their influence they had also introduced me to Dan and Phil through the joy of youtube. One Direction was just the beginning for me.

When Zayn left, I was devastated. I remember being in middle school, probably around the 6-7 grade. I was at home when the news broke and I remember calling my friends at the time and just crying. Then when the band broke up, I was, like so many, so hopeful for a reunion. I won't lie, I didn't branch out much to their solo music. I listened some but nothing like I thought. However, I still kept going back to the same old One Direction, even all these years later.

Liam Payne was a comfort to a lot of people and I feel the music industry destroyed him. He had so much pressure put on him at a young age and it just poisoned him. He fell into a lot of hardship towards the end of the band and afterwards. This isn't to minimize anything he's done, I just want to make a point that the Liam I'm grieving is the one I grew up with from 2012-2016. The Liam that has come to light isn't how so many of us remember him. We remember Liam as someone who acted silly with Louis on stage and liked to annoy the boys during interviews. We remember him as someone who hated spoons and had incredible vocals. We remember him as someone who was given a second chance and did something incredible with it. He changed so many lives during his time in One Direction, and that's how we remember him.

This isn't Maya Henry's fault or anyone elses. Liam was sick and just couldn't get the help he needed to turn his life around. Addiction kills. What he did to Maya Henry and others is inexcusable and horrible, and this isn't their fault. They did not cause any of what happened. They are still victims and their experiences are still valid. You can grieve someone and still condemn their actions. He engaged in behavior that is unacceptable and for a lack of a better word, abusive. Even if he didn't do these acts while under the influence, he was still battling with sobriety, and that's not easy, and that's still not an excuse. He still did what he did and now he'll never be able to fix it. We will still remember how we idolized him and how much joy he brought us, but we will also never forget the victim's stories. Their experiences and feelings with him are just as valid and important.

Like Niall, Harry, Zayn, and Louis have all said, Liam brought so much joy. He brought thousands and thousands of people hope and happiness. He was a light in dark times for many and until he passed, he still brought people joy. There are many videos from the days leading up that show him talking about the boys and supporting them, and hugging fans and interacting with them.

Please keep in mind that Liam is a son, brother, friend, and most importantly, a father. His family is grieving and his 7 year old son has just recently lost his father. Remember that Zayn, Louis, Harry, and Niall owe us nothing. Liam was still a human being.

Thank you Liam for giving us an unforgettable childhood and unforgettable memories. Thank you for introducing me, and others, to the joys of fandoms and music. You brought so many of us so much happiness and were a glimmer of hope when we couldn't find it.

"Goodbyes are bittersweet but it's not the end. I'll see your face again." - Rest easy, Liam. 🤍

[weirdbrothers]

[Some photos documenting my old blog]

One Direction was my life for 6 years and formed who I am today, theres no other way to put it. I became a fan in 2012 and the fandom engulfed my life. I would listen to their music all day, watch every single interview, stay up all night blogging (and crying) about them. Years would pass and it would influence the career I chose, the city I moved to and how I view love, friendship and celebrity.

If you pulled me aside any day between 2012 and 2018 I could tell you where every member of that band was and what they were doing. Some people know I’m also a big Taylor Swift fan, but how much I love her and her music doesn’t even hold a candle to my dedication to the boys. When drama was going doing in 2012/2013 between Taylor and Harry, I “sided” with Harry and couldn’t listen to Taylor’s music for about 6 months. I ran a One Direction blog that gained over 10,000 followers, and even now in my late 20s it’s still one of my proudest accomplishments. I made edits, read fanfiction and was in the trenches of the fandom for 6 years. Every day from the second I opened my phone in the morning to the music I listened to as I fell asleep was One Direction. It was fun, it was dramatic and it was a cornerstone of my life.

I loved One Direction as band, a unit, a group. Louis was my favorite member, but what drew me to them was their chemistry, dynamic, and love for one another. When Zayn left and they later went on a “hiatus” I was obviously devastated. Any promise of solo careers was salt in the wound, because I didn’t fucking want that. I didn’t like One Direction because they were cute or I just liked the music or had a crush on one member. I loved their stories, their resilience, their care for the fans, and what the five of them together made me feel.

I can say I knew at least a side of Liam, and saying “rest in peace” doesn’t cut it for me. For everything he did for me, what he gave to me and the fans, how much happiness, sadness and love I’ve felt for him. With Liam’s passing, a last part of my innocence and piece of myself is gone. By a strange coincidence, I flew to my childhood home yesterday to stay with my parents, and thats where I got the news. So last night I laid in my old bed that I spent countless hours blogging and listening to One Direction in throughout high school, and I cried for him, for Harry, for Louis, for Zayn and for Niall. 

I’ve spent a very long time being angry, bitter and resentful at them for how One Direction ended, how it just faded away. I hate that they didn’t give the fans a proper goodbye, there was no closure, no bookend to their time as bandmates. Like many fans, I was hoping for a nostalgic reunion tour down the line. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling things for people that don’t know I exist, that never will. I could make a lot of wishes right now about what I want. But it’s a dead end. So I will say the simplest phrase I can to get my emotions across: I miss you. 

I miss you so much it hurts. I miss you so much I couldn’t listen to your music for years. I miss you so much I’ve been fucking pissed at you for how things ended. I miss you so much I could never hate you. I miss you so much, I just want it all back again. I miss you so fucking much.

Thank you for letting us see you Liam, I know that it wasn't easy a lot of the time. Thank you for letting us in. For letting us hear your voice, your story, to see any part of you. I'm so thankful for what you gave me, the rest of the fans, and the boys. I miss you so much.

We're only getting older, baby And I've been thinking about it lately Does it ever drive you crazy Just how fast the night changes? Everything that you've ever dreamed of Disapearing when you wake up But theres nothing to be afraid of Even when the night changes

*Disclaimer: I know very little about the allegations made against him in recent years, and who I’m talking about here is the boy I grew up with.

[watermelonsugacry]

more zayn and y/n moments?? i feel like they have the most adorable friendship everrr ❤️❤️❤️

love your work ❤️🔥

oh there's so many!

So you all know when the band first started, all Zayn would say is Vas Happening?! Well, YN's thing was always saying Aye Oh!

So whenever the cameras would point to them during their fetus era, he would throw an arm over her shoulder and they'd just yell their sayings super duper loudly while making a funny face.

...

During the band's third tour, the two of them would spend some time with their vocal coach in one of the smaller green rooms to go over their harmonies together.

The song they loved to perform together was Right Now because they shared the chorus.

So when they would hit those harmonies perfectly (like they always did), they would give each other a nod of approval, a smug look on their faces before giving each other a high five.

...

YN knew that while he usually presented himself with a hard exterior, she knew that he was a soft teddy bear once you got to know him. One of the activities that she would partake in with him was art. She knew she was shit at it, but she also knew that he loved it.

So during the long rides on the tour bus crossing from one city to another, sitting next to each other during an album signing/meet & greet, or stuck in their hotel rooms, she'd be there with a piece of paper and some type of writing utensil for them to draw whatever came to mind.

There was even an interview in 2014 when they were doing for their new book "Who We Are" where Zayn spent the majority of the time drawing on YN's arm. With a ball point pen, the beautiful mandalas he drew on her skin left her beaming and utterly speechless.

...

There's no denying the fact that those two were the most fashionable members of the band. With Zayn's cool, suave, bad boy style and YN's good girl aesthetic, photoshoots with them were easy and right on the money.

...

For the Night Changes music video, YN was the stand-in for basically all of the boys (except Liam who actually had his girlfriend on set). With each date, she took on the role with some seriousness, acting as if the boys were really taking her on a date.

For Zayn's part, YN actually dressed in a formal black dress to really get into character.

Needless to say, she really got a kick out of making her usually quiet band member laugh throughout the shoot. Like when Ben Winston directed him to offer her some of his spaghetti, she let out a playful sigh of relief, "Yes please. Do you see the sad fookin' excuse of a salad they gave meh?"

Or when her "ex-boyfriend" interrupted her date with Zayn, she actually played along and had an argument with him with a fake backstory she made up: "Johnathan?! What are yeh doing here? I told you to leave me alone. No, I'm over you. No. I'm sorry but I just can't listen to you rant about your Barbie doll collection any longer!"

And when the ex-boyfriend dumps the food on Zayn, as soon as the director yelled cut!, YN quickly got up from her seat and got all up in the building of a man's face (really his chest from how tall the actor was) and says with a deep voice, "the fook man!" But her facade lasted all but 2 seconds before her and everyone just burst out laughing.

...

Since the band's formation, Zayn always had and continues to have a soft spot for YN.

He still views her as a little sister and while they don't talk as much as they used to during their time in 1D, there's not a single birthday, holiday, anniversary, etc. that hasn't gone by without a text between the former band members.

[zot3-flopped]

The article about 1D is illuminating. Although it was known back then Harry wanted separate travel arrangements, that alone should've been proof enough for the ot5's they weren't bffs. It must have been so tense between them if Harry didn't want to even share a jet!

Smoking weed inside a small confined area with other people is so disrespectful. It goes to show Zayn never had any consideration for anyone else, which inevitably lead to him letting everyone down by cowardly running away in the middle of the night. He only thinks about himself. Of course Louis joined Zayn, I bet in they jealously talked shit about Harry. Zayn said in a deleted scene in the This Is Us movie: "Harry is the perfect pop star, born for it". Zayn also said he quit the band to get a head start on the others (translation: before Harry). Louis said after the split he was irked to see Harry's rise to fame. You just know their failing asses wish they had a sliver of Harry's charisma and talent.

In almost a decade nothing has changed with Zayn, he's still smoking weed like a chimney. There's another reason to add why his career never took off. If he couldn't get his shit together when he had an crew of people doing everything for him and he still didn't have enough drive or energy when he had a group to do it along with him. What chance did he think he'd have doing it alone?! No one holds him down or accountable for his laziness.

He was flakey even before he left 1D, once again showing Zayn is incapable of thinking about anyone else but Zayn. The amount of time and money that was wasted on this guy is ridiculous.

I can already hear Zayn stans refusing to accept Zayn was a violent dick even before meeting the Hadids. Zayn stans try to maintain Zayn was only violet with Yolanda (and the bodyguard - which his stans always forget to mention!) because Yolanda 'pushed him to it'. We know he was aggressive with everyone years prior, even to his own band mates! Thanks to Maya we know it was Zayn who started a physical altercation with Liam!

Looking back it's funny Zayn said they were all sick of each other when the reality was everyone was sick of him. He was a douchebag and rightfully no one liked him because of it, and because Zayn is so stuck up his own ass he thinks everyone else was at fault.

It was obvious Louis and Harry have bad blood between them. And it's clear Louis also had his head up his own ass too, because how can he claim he was angry, upset, and blindsided the band was ending when his friend was struggling to the extent Liam was? Especially when complete strangers could see the signs as clear as day!

Niall must have gone through so much popcorn watching all this go down.

Brilliant! Agree with every word. You're right - Louis was beyond selfish for wanting 1d to continue, and Zayn was just lost in his own stoned world, not thinking about anyone but himself.

[niallerspayno]

The Line - Part 2

Masterlist

You and Zayn are inseparable childhood best friends, until one night when you make a pact to be each other’s rebound whenever one of you has a break up. Things get complicated when you start dating Louis, Zayn’s bandmate, and the line between friends and more begins to blur.

Tags: Zayn x childhood friend!reader, Louis x reader, friends to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, some smut

Part 1 | Part 3

…

The next few weeks pass in a blur of concerts, laughter, and the kind of carefree fun you never thought you’d find on a tour bus with a rock band. Being with Louis has been everything you could have hoped for—he’s easy to be around, endlessly funny, and, most of all, he makes you feel good. There’s something about the way he laughs, the way he can make even the most mundane things feel exciting. It’s been a whirlwind of late-night snacks, spontaneous adventures, and lazy mornings where you’re tangled in each other’s arms, just talking about anything and everything.

Every city you’ve visited feels new with him by your side, and the two of you slip into a rhythm that feels right. He’s not perfect—no one is—but he’s exactly what you need in this moment. You laugh together, flirt effortlessly, and the chemistry is undeniable. He’s your perfect distraction from everything else, and in these moments, you almost forget about the storm brewing just beneath the surface.

But there’s Zayn, always there, in the background. And no matter how many times you try to push it away, the weight of his presence hasn’t changed.

It’s subtle, the way he looks at you sometimes. Not with jealousy, but something else���something that makes your heart beat a little faster when you meet his eyes across the room. The tension between you is like a quiet hum, a reminder of everything unspoken, everything that’s been left unresolved between the two of you.

It’s when you catch him watching you and Louis one night, laughing about something stupid, that you feel it most. The way Zayn’s gaze lingers on you just a moment too long, like he’s seeing something deeper than just the woman Louis is with. You quickly look away, shaking the thought off, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. It never does.

Despite it all, you try to focus on the fun you’re having with Louis. You fall into the rhythm of the tour—dinner dates before shows, playful teasing during rehearsals, and stolen moments in quiet hotel rooms. But at the back of your mind, Zayn’s quiet presence is always there.

Tonight, after another sold-out show, you find yourself on the bus, snuggled up to Louis as the bus rolls through the night, heading toward the next city. He’s got his arm wrapped around your shoulders, his fingers brushing through your hair absentmindedly as you settle into the plush seat.

The bus hums softly around you, and you’re grateful for the comfort. It’s been a long day—exciting, but exhausting—and you’re glad for this brief moment of peace.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Louis says softly, his voice warm against your ear.

You smile up at him, feeling a little giddy from all the attention he’s been showering on you. “I don’t know about that,” you tease, nudging him playfully.

“Oh, I’m serious,” he insists, his eyes sparkling with that mischievous glint you’ve come to love. “You’re one of a kind.”

Your heart swells, and for a moment, you just let yourself bask in the joy of being with him. You lean into his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat against your ear.

But as you settle in, your gaze drifts across the room, landing on Zayn. He’s sitting a few seats away, scrolling through his phone, but you can feel the pull of his presence. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, and for just a heartbeat, everything else fades away.

You quickly look back at Louis, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the moment.

Louis catches your attention again, a playful smirk on his face. “What’s got you so distracted?”

You give him a teasing grin, trying to mask the thoughts swirling in your mind. “Just thinking.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “About what?”

You hesitate for a moment, then shake your head. “Nothing important. Just… tired, I guess.”

Louis’s gaze softens. “You can sleep, you know. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

You nod, sinking further into him, the weight of the day finally catching up to you. You close your eyes, and for a while, you let the sound of Louis’s voice lull you into a sense of calm. But even in the quiet moments, Zayn’s presence lingers.

No matter how much you try to bury it, there’s no escaping the feelings that have been there from the start.

…

The night is calm, the hum of the tour bus and the flicker of the TV providing a quiet backdrop to the peace that’s settled over you and Zayn. The two of you are curled up together on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, the light from the screen casting shadows on your faces. It’s an easy silence, the kind you’ve always shared, the kind you haven’t had in weeks since Louis came into the picture. For a moment, it feels like nothing has changed.

Zayn’s arm is draped casually around your shoulders, his head resting against the back of the couch. You’re so close that you can feel the warmth radiating from him, his scent familiar and comforting, like home. It’s been a while since you’ve had a quiet night like this—just the two of you, no distractions, no complications.

“You good?” Zayn asks quietly, his voice breaking the comfortable silence. His fingers absently trace patterns on the blanket, a subtle gesture that you know is his way of checking in.

You nod, your head resting against his shoulder. “Yeah. Just needed this. A break from everything, you know?”

He hums in agreement, his gaze flicking to the TV screen, though it’s clear his attention is on you. The movie is more of a backdrop now, as you and Zayn fall into your old rhythm, talking about nothing and everything all at once.

“So, what about Louis?” Zayn asks, his voice casual but there’s a sharpness in his eyes you can’t ignore.

You blink up at him, surprised by the question. “What do you mean?”

“You and him. Everything good?” Zayn’s gaze is steady, unflinching.

A faint smile tugs at your lips. “Yeah. We’re good. It’s been fun. I like him, Zayn.”

His expression doesn’t change, but you can tell there’s a little something in his eyes—something softer. “I’m glad,” he says, his voice quiet, almost as though he’s measuring his words.

The words settle between you, but before you can respond, the door to the common area opens with a soft creak, and Louis steps in, looking more than a little too amused. You pull your head up from Zayn’s shoulder and sit up slightly, instinctively shifting to give Louis a little more room.

“Didn’t know you two were getting so cozy,” Louis teases, raising an eyebrow as he leans against the doorframe.

Zayn’s arm doesn’t leave your shoulders, but there’s a shift in the air—the subtle tension of two people who share a history but are now on opposite sides. You can feel it, even though Zayn hasn’t said a word.

“Just watching a movie,” you explain quickly, your voice light, though you can’t help but notice how Louis’s eyes narrow slightly as he watches you both.

Louis chuckles, but there’s a hint of something beneath his words. “Yeah, well, just don’t forget who you’re dating now, love.” His eyes flicker between you and Zayn, a playful smirk tugging at his lips, but there’s something in his tone that feels a little more possessive than usual.

Zayn’s gaze flicks to Louis, the briefest flash of something protective passing over his face. But then he just shrugs, the calm indifference of someone used to this dynamic. “We’re fine,” he says smoothly, though you can hear the faint edge in his voice.

You can feel the shift in the air, the undercurrent of something unspoken, and it makes your chest tighten. You’re with Louis, but you can’t help but notice how much the proximity to Zayn still affects you.

Louis steps further into the room, coming over to sit next to you, his leg brushing against yours. He looks at Zayn, his playful smirk not quite reaching his eyes. “Just making sure I don’t lose my spot,” Louis jokes, though there’s a sharpness to it.

Zayn gives him a tight-lipped smile, but the way he watches you closely tells you everything you need to know. He’s always been protective, always been the one who’s had your back. And you can’t help but notice the way he lingers, just a little too long, before he looks away.

“I’m happy for you,” Zayn says, his tone softer now, but the meaning is clear. You can tell it’s a genuine sentiment, but there’s an underlying feeling there too—something unspoken.

You glance up at him, your heart tightening in your chest. “Thanks, Zayn.”

Louis catches the brief exchange between you two and lets out a light laugh, though it’s strained. “Right. Well, I’ll take it from here.” He nudges you gently, pulling your attention back to him as he leans closer. “Movie time’s over, love. Come here.”

You follow his lead, allowing yourself to be pulled into Louis’s side, but you can feel Zayn’s gaze lingering on you, his eyes not leaving you for a moment longer than necessary. There’s a moment where the two of you share a look—one that you can’t quite decipher.

The movie continues in the background, but it feels like everything’s shifted. Louis is here, with you, in a way that feels easy and right, but there’s Zayn—just a few feet away, watching you closely, and you realize something.

You’ve always been drawn to the complicated ones—the ones that make your heart race and your chest ache with unspoken emotions. And right now, Zayn is making it harder than ever to ignore the deep connection between you. But you’ve made your choice.

As the evening goes on, you try to focus on Louis, on the easy banter and the way he makes you laugh. But no matter how hard you try, the thought of Zayn lingers. The way his hand felt on your shoulder. The way he looked at you.

And for a brief moment, just as Louis pulls you closer, you can’t help but wonder if things will ever be simple for you again.

…

The arena is buzzing with the usual noise of soundcheck, but you’re not paying attention to the instruments or the microphones. Louis is standing next to you, a mischievous gleam in his eye, holding a half-empty water bottle.

“Hey,” he whispers with a grin. “What if we start a water fight? Just for fun.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, half-amused, half-suspicious. “A water fight? During soundcheck? Are you insane?”

Louis shrugs, not an ounce of hesitation in his posture. “Who cares? The boys won’t mind. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Before you can respond, he squirts a stream of water at you, hitting you square in the chest. You gasp, eyes widening in shock as you look down at your damp shirt. “You did not just—”

And with that, you retaliate, grabbing your own bottle and squirting him right back. The cold water splashes across his face, making him laugh and wipe his eyes, all while you’re both grinning like idiots.

“Oh, it’s on,” Louis declares, lunging toward you, trying to grab your bottle from your hand. But you dodge, playfully shoving him out of the way and managing to get in a few more squirts in retaliation.

It doesn’t take long before the rest of the boys catch on. Niall, hearing the commotion, turns around from his spot at the drums and grins when he sees what’s going on.

“Oi, save some for me!” he shouts, grabbing his own bottle and spraying it toward you both.

Liam joins in next, somehow managing to sneak up behind you and dump a whole bottle of water over your head. You yelp, shaking your hair out, and send a blast right toward him. The soundcheck has quickly devolved into utter chaos, with water flying everywhere, soaked clothes, and fits of laughter echoing through the stage.

Harry’s standing nearby, watching the scene unfold with an amused smirk. “You lot are ridiculous,” he says, but he doesn’t stay on the sidelines for long. Grabbing an extra bottle from the side, he jumps in, squirting it in Niall’s direction. The battle has officially escalated.

Amidst the laughter and shouts, you find yourself face-to-face with Louis again, both of you soaked but grinning like kids. He’s still holding his water bottle, and he leans toward you with a playful smirk.

“You know,” he says, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper, “I think you’re winning… but not for long.” And before you can react, he douses you with another stream of water, soaking your shirt completely.

“Oh, you are so dead,” you laugh, but you can barely get the words out before you squirt him again, this time drenching him from head to toe.

The boys are still laughing and yelling, but the noise starts to fade as you and Louis stare at each other, water dripping off your hair and clothes. For a second, everything goes quiet, and it feels like it’s just the two of you—sopping wet, but smiling with that familiar warmth you’ve come to adore.

Louis steps closer, his face inches from yours, his gaze a little more intense now, a little more knowing. “I think we’re the best team,” he says softly, wiping a few stray droplets of water from your cheek.

You laugh nervously, your heart speeding up despite yourself. “You think so?”

“I know so,” he replies, his hand lingering on your cheek for a moment longer than necessary. Without another word, he leans in, and his lips press against yours in a quick, playful kiss.

It’s nothing huge, nothing overly passionate—but it’s enough to make your heart flutter. Enough to make the rest of the world melt away for a few seconds. The moment lingers, your lips still tingling as he pulls back, his eyes glinting mischievously.

“Was that so bad?” he teases, his voice light, but there’s a certain warmth in it.

You laugh, shaking your head. “You’re impossible.”

The sound of catcalls breaks the spell. “Get a room, you two!” Niall shouts, his voice full of laughter. “You’re soaked already!”

Liam’s got a smirk plastered on his face. “I’d say you’re wet enough now, but what do I know?”

Harry’s laughing too, and even Zayn lets out a quiet chuckle from the side. But when you glance over at him, you notice he’s not laughing as loudly as the others. He’s standing off to the side, his arms crossed and his gaze fixed on you and Louis. His expression is harder to read than the others’, but there’s something in his eyes you can’t quite place—something deeper.

The moment passes quickly as the boys continue to tease, and you turn your attention back to Louis. “See what you did? They’ll never let us hear the end of it.”

Louis just grins, his arm slipping around your waist as he pulls you close, still holding you in that comfortable, easy way he always does. “Let them talk. I think you and me make a pretty good team.”

You laugh again, but Zayn’s lingering gaze stays at the back of your mind as you walk away, arm in arm with Louis. You can feel Zayn’s eyes on you even as the others crowd around, and it makes the air feel heavier, more complicated.

…

The tour is in full swing, and everything feels like it’s happening too quickly. You’re living in a whirlwind of concerts, traveling, and interviews, and while you’re enjoying every second, it’s also starting to wear on you. The chaos is fun, but there are moments when you wish for quiet, for something simpler. And sometimes, it feels like Louis doesn’t quite see that.

You’re sitting on the bus after a late show, your phone screen glowing in your hand as you scroll through messages from family and friends. You’re tired—exhausted, really—and just want to unwind for a few minutes. Louis, however, is in one of his more energetic moods, bouncing around the bus with the same infectious energy he always has.

“Come on, love, stop being so serious!” he says, hopping onto the couch beside you. He grins, tossing his arm over your shoulders and pulling you close. “Let’s have some fun. You deserve it after tonight!”

You smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You’re feeling the weight of the tour—the constant hustle, the unrelenting schedule, the lack of time for anything but music and appearances. You love Louis, and you love being with him, but lately, it feels like he’s always on and you can’t keep up.

“I’m tired, Lou,” you murmur, trying to keep your voice light. “Just want a little quiet.”

Louis doesn’t seem to hear the tiredness in your voice. Instead, he squeezes you tighter, spinning you slightly so you face him. His smile never falters, but you can see the impatience starting to creep into his eyes. “But you never relax! You’re always working or thinking about something. We’re on a tour with One Direction! We should be having the time of our lives!”

You sigh, rubbing your temples. “I am having the time of my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need a break sometimes.”

Louis’ face tightens, and for a brief moment, you see the flicker of frustration there before he pushes it away with another grin. “You’re always so serious, love. That’s why you get so wound up.”

You bite your lip, the crack in your heart widening just a little more. You love him, but he’s not listening. He doesn’t understand that sometimes you need a break from the chaos, from the noise.

The door to the bus opens, and Harry walks in, catching the tail end of the conversation. “Everything okay in here?” he asks, glancing between you two. There’s a tension in the air now, and you can’t ignore it.

Louis’s smile falters just slightly before he waves Harry off. “Yeah, we’re fine. Just a little disagreement about how much fun we should be having.”

Harry raises an eyebrow, clearly sensing something is off but not wanting to pry. “Alright, well, if you need a distraction, Zayn’s got a new game on the Switch.”

Zayn. The mention of his name makes something tighten in your chest. You quickly push the thought away, trying to focus on the conversation at hand.

“I just want a little quiet, that’s all,” you repeat, more firmly this time, but Louis is already shrugging it off.

“Well, that’s boring. You’re too much of a buzzkill, babe,” Louis says, his tone teasing but with a sharp edge that makes you flinch. He’s not angry, not exactly, but it feels like a slap all the same.

You don’t respond. Instead, you pull away slightly, pulling your legs up under you on the couch. The words are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t seem to find them. The argument feels pointless, like it’ll only make things worse.

Louis seems to notice the shift in the air. His expression softens, but just for a moment. Then, with a loud sigh, he stands up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go grab a drink. You coming?”

You hesitate. “I think I’ll just stay here.”

He doesn’t seem thrilled by the answer, but he nods, flashing a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Alright. But you’re gonna have to stop being such a grandma at some point, yeah?”

The words sting more than you expected, and you bite your lip to stop yourself from saying something you might regret. You watch as he walks out of the bus, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

It’s quiet now, but the silence feels heavy. You curl into the corner of the couch, your arms hugging your knees as you close your eyes for a moment. You love Louis, but there’s this nagging feeling inside that something isn’t quite right anymore. Something has shifted between you two, and it feels like you’re starting to drift apart in ways you didn’t expect.

And it’s not just Louis. There’s a small, almost invisible pull toward Zayn—something that’s always been there, hidden beneath the surface. You wish it didn’t exist, but you know it does. And as much as you care about Louis, you can’t ignore it.

…

The atmosphere in the dressing room is lighthearted as the boys and you gather for a game of truth or dare after soundcheck. The chaos of the tour is still fresh in everyone’s minds, but for now, it’s just fun and laughter—except for the nagging feeling you can’t quite shake. You’re sitting between Zayn and Louis, your body angled slightly toward Zayn, your legs brushing against his in the crowded space. Louis, however, is sitting a little closer to you than usual, his hand resting lightly on your knee, his fingers brushing the skin of your leg absentmindedly.

The game has already had its fair share of dares, and now it’s Zayn’s turn. Everyone looks at him expectantly as he leans back, his smirk never faltering.

“Truth or dare?” Harry asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Truth,” Zayn answers casually, though you catch the flicker of something cautious behind his usual playful expression.

The boys exchange looks, and after a beat, Niall grins. “Alright, Zayn. Have you ever hooked up with Y/N?”

There’s a pause in the room as everyone turns to look at you. Your heart skips a beat, and you suddenly feel the heat rise to your cheeks. Zayn, however, just looks at you for a moment before answering, his voice smooth and almost nonchalant. “Yeah. I have.”

The room falls silent.

Louis’s hand tenses on your knee, his fingers digging in just slightly, and you feel a knot tighten in your stomach. The boys look between you and Zayn, the implications of his simple answer starting to hit.

Harry’s eyes widen. “Wait, so—what? You’ve hooked up?” He looks from you to Zayn, then back to you. “Like, recently?”

You feel the heat in your cheeks deepen, and you glance at Zayn, silently asking him how far he wants to go with this. He meets your gaze, his expression unreadable for a second before he shrugs. “It wasn’t anything serious,” Zayn says, his tone light. But it’s clear that wasn’t enough to satisfy the boys.

“Wait, hold on,” Louis suddenly interjects, his voice quieter now, but you can hear the edge creeping into it. “So, you two—” He gestures between you and Zayn, his gaze hardening. “You’ve hooked up before, and I’m just supposed to be okay with this?”

The question hangs in the air, and you feel your stomach lurch. You glance at Zayn, silently pleading with him to help defuse the situation. Zayn’s expression is calm, but there’s a tension in his jaw as he looks at Louis. “Louis, it’s not what you think,” he says, his voice low but steady.

Louis isn’t looking at Zayn anymore. His eyes are locked on you, searching your face for something—maybe an explanation, or maybe just an acknowledgment of something he hasn’t been told.

“Then what is it?” Louis presses, his voice tight. “What does that mean? Is it just… casual?”

The room grows heavy with silence, and you feel the weight of everyone’s gaze on you. It’s like every breath you take is too loud, too sharp. You try to find the words, but the truth of it all suddenly feels so complicated.

Zayn speaks up again, breaking the silence. “We have a pact,” he says, his voice still calm but carrying an unexpected weight. “Whenever one of us goes through a breakup or needs comfort, we… we’ve always been there for each other. We’ve been each other’s rebound.”

There’s a collective intake of breath from the boys, and Louis’s grip on your knee tightens. His eyes flick between you and Zayn, the hurt in his gaze more evident now.

“That’s it?” Louis’s voice cracks slightly, and you see his jaw tense as he tries to hold it together. “You two have been… rebound buddies all this time? And now you’re dating me?” His tone is sharp, disbelief mixing with something else—hurt, anger, maybe both. “What does that mean for us?”

The boys are quiet now, watching, waiting for your response. You swallow hard, your throat tight with emotion. You want to explain, to make him understand that it wasn’t like that—that you’ve always cared for him, that this wasn’t about him, but everything feels so much more complicated now.

“I—Louis, it wasn’t like that,” you start, your voice trembling slightly. “It’s always been about comfort. We made a pact, okay? We never talked about it, never wanted to complicate things, but it’s… it’s what we’ve done for years. It wasn’t a reflection of how I feel about you.”

Louis looks at you, the hurt in his eyes still raw, still stinging. He doesn’t say anything at first, just shaking his head slightly as if he’s trying to make sense of everything. You can see the anger in his eyes, mixed with the disappointment, and your heart aches.

“You never thought to tell me about this?” Louis finally says, his voice quieter now but still thick with emotion. “You were keeping this from me this whole time?”

You open your mouth to explain, but the words feel stuck. What can you say? How do you explain something you never meant to become an issue?

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Louis,” you whisper, feeling the sting of regret wash over you. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Louis looks away for a moment, his eyes darting to the other boys in the room. He laughs bitterly, and when his gaze lands back on you, there’s a sharp edge to it.

“Right. So if we break up, you’ll just run straight back to Zayn, then?” he asks, his voice bitter, the words cutting through the silence like a knife. “That’s how this works?”

You flinch at his words, feeling the sharp sting of guilt wash over you. The room goes deathly silent. You’ve never seen Louis this hurt, this frustrated. The tension feels unbearable, suffocating.

With a deep breath, he stands up suddenly, pushing his chair back with a harsh scrape against the floor. “You should’ve told me, Y/N. You should’ve trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I thought we were past all of this.” He looks at Zayn, his eyes burning with something you can’t quite name. “This… it’s messed up.”

With that, Louis turns and walks out of the room, leaving you in the silence that follows.

The boys sit in stunned silence, unsure of what to say, their eyes flicking between you and Zayn. Zayn glances at you, his expression unreadable.

“I didn’t want this to happen, Y/N,” he says softly. “I never meant to hurt him.”

“I know,” you whisper, feeling the weight of the situation settling over you like a heavy blanket. “I didn’t either.”

The room is heavy with unspoken words, the tension thick between you all.

…

It’s been a few days since the truth came out about the pact between you and Zayn. Since then, things between you and Louis have been… off. The playful energy you once had together feels strained, like an invisible wall has been built between you. The smiles don’t reach your eyes as they once did, and every interaction feels like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to avoid the underlying tension.

You can feel it—the unease that lingers in the air when you’re with Louis. The way his hand doesn’t rest as comfortably on your shoulder anymore, the way he no longer teases you like he used to, the way his eyes don’t light up the same way when he looks at you.

And then it happens.

You’re sitting in the tour bus, your legs tucked up beneath you, the soft hum of the engine the only sound in the otherwise quiet space. Louis is sitting across from you, fiddling with his phone, but his gaze keeps drifting to you. You know he wants to say something, but he’s not sure how.

“Y/N,” he starts, his voice low. You look up, meeting his eyes, and something in his expression makes your stomach tighten. “We need to talk.”

You already know where this is going, but hearing it aloud still hits you like a punch to the gut.

“About what?” you ask, trying to sound nonchalant, though your voice cracks a little.

He sighs, putting his phone down on the seat next to him and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “About everything. About us.”

Your heart sinks, but you try to hold his gaze. “What do you mean?”

He runs a hand through his hair, the frustration clear in the way he holds his jaw tight. “This,” he gestures between the two of you, “isn’t working, Y/N. You and me. I can’t keep pretending that things are fine when they’re not. I—” He pauses, his eyes hardening, the words coming out like they’ve been building up for a long time. “I don’t know if I can keep being with you when I know you still have… whatever it is with him.”

The mention of Zayn makes your stomach flip. You open your mouth to explain, but Louis doesn’t give you a chance.

“Look, I get it,” he says, his voice rising a little, “You and Zayn, you’ve always been close. But after the truth came out… I don’t think I can do this. I don’t know if I’m the guy for you when he’s always going to be there in the background.”

A lump forms in your throat. You try to swallow it down, but your words are stuck. “Louis, please,” you plead, but your voice comes out shaky. “I never meant for you to feel like this. I care about you. I do. But Zayn… Zayn’s my best friend. He always has been.”

Louis stands up, his movements sharp and frustrated. “And that’s exactly the problem. You’ve got this history with him that I can’t compete with. I can’t keep doing this. You don’t need me. You’ve got Zayn, and you’ve always had him. I’m just… the guy who doesn’t get it.”

Your chest tightens, and you finally rise to your feet, desperate to hold onto something, to make it right. “Louis, don’t do this. Please, I don’t want to lose you. I love you. But Zayn and I have history. We’ve been through things together that I can’t just forget. It’s not easy for me either, you know.”

Louis shakes his head, his face a mix of hurt and anger. “You say that, but all I see is you and Zayn getting closer. I’m not enough for you. I don’t want to fight for someone who’s already given her heart away. Not like this.”

You feel the weight of his words, heavy and painful. “I haven’t—”

“Don’t,” he interrupts softly, his voice breaking just a little. “It’s not about you not loving me. It’s about you not being able to let him go. And I can’t be a part of that. Not like this.”

Your heart is in your throat, and for the first time, the full weight of what you’re losing hits you. You want to reach out to him, to beg him to stay, but something inside you tells you that it’s too late.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispers, his voice almost like a ghost. He doesn’t look at you again as he grabs his jacket and heads for the door, leaving you standing there, heart in your hands.

You don’t know how long you stand there, frozen in place, the silence of the room swallowing you whole. The door clicks shut behind him, and the sound reverberates in your chest, a sharp reminder of everything slipping away.

It doesn’t feel real. But it is.

The tears come then, but you don’t know if they’re for him, for yourself, or for the mess you’ve made of everything.

…

Part 3

[hsgucci94]

What’s not being said out loud

Word count: 1k

A/N: this gif is how I imagined his face looking like :((

masterlist

———

“No, all I’m saying is that you should set some boundaries with him,” Harry spoke, trying to keep calm and not letting it all out like he wanted to do. He had been stuck in that place for years, not being fully honest with her, but mostly himself. And now that Y/N had a boyfriend, someone very different to all her previous exes and with whom she saw herself in the future, it had him panicking.

“What? Boundaries?”, Y/N replied, astonished, “If anything, it’s you I should set boundaries with, not James!,” she quickly shook her head, in an attempt to make her angry feelings disappear. He just couldn’t be for real right now. “You’re being so rude, Harry, and for what? I know you don’t like him but c’mon! He’s my boyfriend!”

“And he’s trying to keep you away from me!”

“Well, seeing how you’re behaving right now I think he’s got his reasons! What's got into you? You’re acting like a child!”

“I’m not!” he replied right away, "I'm just expressing how I see things between you and James from an outside perspective. How even is that overreacting?!"

"I just told you James wants us two to hang out a bit less, and your instant reaction is to tell me he's toxic and controlling? Well, you're not one to talk right now!"

Harry got up from the couch, as angry as he was anxious. He quickly made his way to the kitchen. What was supposed to be a chill afternoon at his place, watching movies and catching up before he left for his last leg of the Love On Tour, ended up turning into the messiest argument they had ever had since they had known each other, almost ten years now.

He rested his hands on the cold countertop, his body leaned forward as his head hit the drawer in front on him. He shut his eyes and forced his mind to go blank, but it didn’t work. He could only think about Y/N, and how it now seemed he was losing her for good. And only because he was a coward that wouldn’t admit his feelings to her.

At 19 years old he called it a crush, which he didn’t take into action because she soon got a boyfriend; someone that went to the same college as her, or whatever. He never bothered remembering that guy's name anyway. At 20, he almost confessed he liked her, but then Y/N went on about how she considered him her very best friend and... Well, he basically got friend-zoned. At 21 he tried another shot and this time he did it, he really did. He told her he liked her..., like a lot. And all he got for an answer were her giggles, and her saying that he was so drunk that he had probably no idea what he was saying. That part was true, thought, he got pretty wasted that night, only because Zayn was no longer part of the band and that hurt, but it didn’t mean his words were bullshit. Because they were not! Alcohol was simply in his system to boost him and give him the confidence to finally open up to her in that sense.

Fast forward to the next day, he got too embarrassed he decided to never bring that topic up again. Neither did she. Ever since then, he had been loving her from a corner, silently watching her fall for one asshole after another, wishing he had the chance they all were gifted.

Time passed, and Harry managed to focus on their friendship and see her the same way she saw him: as his best friend. But then those feelings he was forced to hide under the blanket for so long resurfaced and now he just couldn’t put them back. There was just one issue, and his name was James, a guy Y/N had been dating for half a year and who apparently didn’t like Harry very much. To be fair, the feeling was mutual. Who did James think he was to keep him away from Y/N? She might have dated some douchebags award-winners, but at least none of them ever tried to push him out of her life.

Maybe James saw what Y/N was so oblivious to; maybe James knew Harry wanted her, as well.

"Hey... H? I'm... I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes and turned around at the sound of her voice, seeing her walking towards him with a distraught countenance. "I didn’t mean any of it, it was just the heat of the moment. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay," he nodded, smiling faintly at her, "I didn’t mean what I said either. James is a great guy, it's just that-"

"Tour's about to start and it has you a bit anxious. I understand," she passed her arms around him and hugged him. He tended to turn into a bunch of nerves the previous days before going on tour, a bad habit he had developed during his One Direction days, which got him doing and saying things he mostly regretted.

"Yeah, you’re right," he mumbled against her hair, although that was not the case at all, "Will you come see me on tour?"

"Pss. Obviously,” she giggled, turning her head to look up at him, “Me and James already got that planned out."

Of course James would be there too.

[elastylinson28]

It’s just starting to sink in that Liam is actually gone, and we will never see him again. One day, we will reach his age and be older than he ever was. And the most painful truth of all is that he’s now just a memory, and that is all he’ll ever be.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to friends messaging me, asking if it’s true. I didn’t know what “true” meant; I had no idea what was going on. I was so confused until one friend said, “It’s all over social media—Liam’s dead.” I immediately opened Twitter and saw the freshest tweets talking about the accident. I struggled to believe it. I thought maybe it was just a hoax, considering he’d just been in the spotlight a week ago, once again facing backlash. Then I went on Facebook and saw Good Morning America post about it, along with familiar names—names from years ago, names I hadn’t seen in a while, but still recognized from the days when I grew up loving One Direction.

I was shaken.

I didn’t know that a celebrity’s death could hit me this hard. Tears quickly followed, and I felt overwhelmed, like I might pass out. Just a few days before, I had been on Twitter defending Liam’s name over the pettiest reasons, with people pointing out the little things he did, claiming that the rest of the 1D guys always hated him.

I soon found out about the allegations against him, yet the little girl in me—the little girl who loved One Direction so deeply—just finds it hard to believe. Still, I gave the women my trust and decided that maybe it was time to accept that I don’t know these men personally. I chose to stay clear and quiet about all things Liam, as I couldn’t bring myself to even say anything, especially against him. It sounds wrong, but you can’t just simply erase all the years you spent loving and supporting someone that quickly. Instead, I chose to focus on the other lads and ignore all the controversies.

Days passed, and what was meant to be just another random day, the 17th, became a day that changed everything. I woke up to a completely different world—a world where Liam doesn’t exist. It’s a day I will never forget; a day that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I spent the entire day on social media, sharing my grief with strangers who, like me, share a love for these guys, as well as people from my past who loved One Direction just as deeply. We all share this grief, all over the world, mourning for what has gone and what could’ve been. It did not have to end like this—a tragedy of this magnitude is so painful that it eats you alive.

It’s been years since I���ve come to terms with the fact that they are never coming back, and that’s okay. I accepted that, knowing that the little girl in me won’t and will never be able to. I believed that one day, when they were much older, they’d reunite for the last time—all five of them: Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry, and even Zayn. I knew it would be far, far off in the future, but I believed it would happen. But with his passing, all hope is gone. No matter what happens, One Direction just isn’t One Direction anymore, and that, I think, is the toughest pill I’ve ever had to swallow.

Liam’s gone.

Liam has always been the light of the band. Even as a young girl, I knew and recognized that he led them; he was called the “Daddy Direction” for a reason. Even after the band, he remained so supportive of them. As painful and hard as it is to admit, Liam didn’t get the recognition and success that the other four have. To see someone you adored get left behind and hated by the fans of the same people he called brothers hurt. And that is a fact that will always devastate me—how wronged he was by the public and the industry, and how that led him to inflict harm not just on himself but also on others. He needed help. He deserved help—a chance to get better. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if things hadn’t gone wrong.

It’s so heartbreaking to think of the weight of all his struggles, the loneliness he must have felt, and the lost moments that can never be reclaimed. He died believing the world had turned its back on him, he was robbed of a second chance at life. He will never have the opportunity to witness his son grow up or create new memories with his family. Most tragically, he never got to experience the outpouring of love he is receiving now from the world and his brothers, a love that he deserved to feel when he was still alive.

Liam, you deserved so much more than the silence that now surrounds you. Rest now, knowing you will never be forgotten.