#yuri on ice GOT YOU TO THIS LEVEL......and you abandon it

[spacebeyonce]

yuri on ice put that studio ON THE MAP and this is how you repay it. with dust. mappa how dare you. you would be nothing without yuri on ice.

[theanimeview]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SKATE-LEADING☆STARS (Spoilers)

By: Peggy Sue Wood | @peggyseditorial​

I have said it before, and I will say it many more times--of that I am sure. I used to be a competitive figure skater. It was a long time ago, I had stop in high school due to several consecutive head injuries but I still love and follow the sport (I also still skate, just not competitively). 

When Yuri!!! on Ice was out, I loved it because it showed a lot of the cultural parts of skating. The travel, the personality types (in some cases, though not as much), the publicity, the news coverage, etc. We had cameos of famous skaters, we got to see competitions in a pretty realistic way, costuming, the dance and/or gymnastics that skaters must do on and off the ice, and so much more! (I could probably nerd about all the easter eggs and everything else all day long.) The skating in Yuri!!! on Ice is good too. The sounds are near perfect and the movements, though a bit stiff due to the use of CGI, are accurate. 

THAT ASIDE I think Skate-Leading☆Stars is better. In regards to the culture of skaters, SL☆S falls way short but that’s alright. After all, this is a sports anime set in a high school where sports is an all consuming entity and reality takes a back seat to guys with eccentric hair colors. The skating is what's important here and OH LET ME TELL YOU it is near perfect.

Let’s look at this: 

This is our MC, Kensei Maeshima, doing a triple axel (I think they called it a quadruple in the anime which would mean 4 spins but I counted 3 so I’m calling it a triple for now). It’s the only jump that takes off going forward in skating and is one of the most difficult jumps. All of the movement here is accurate--from the way he jumps up and straightens his legs as soon as possible with arms tucked in to help the spin, to the way he lands with a slight bend of the knee, curving around and throwing out the arms for balance (and flare). 

It’s gorgeous. And it continues. When we see Kensei practicing, we get these shots: 

A Sit Spin ^

Crossovers ^

And a Salchow ^ (I think it is Salchow, but if could be a Lutz--the uncertainty comes from me finding it difficult to decipher which edge he’s on before jumping).

ALL OF THESE are beautifully animated and correct--from the way he pulls his arms in quickly and straightens his legs before bending for the landing again to the way he moves after landing. 

Crossovers are especially good as they help build momentum quickly before jumps, allowing a skater to travel more during their jump. 

And when he falls, you see something else that they train you for in skating--how to fall. It’s literally the first thing I was taught when I began taking lessons. Let me explain--in the gif above where he falls coming out of the Salchow, we see this:

He landed on the correct foot, but was still coming out of the last half of his last turn. His other foot, which is meant to swing out, around, and behind him, before guiding the glide out of said jump, hits the ice at an angle as he lands thus causing most of the ice shaving we see happening to the top layer of ice as his other foot slides out from under him. 

Now, if your feet went out from under you--the first thing that you might do automatically is go to your knees or hands to protect your fall. In skating, it’s a bit different. If you fall, your aim is to quickly move to try and let your butt or thighs take the hit while trying to avoid joints (knees, elbows, and wrists) and head injuries. What does Kensei do? He quickly turns to land on his butt first:

His hand skims the ice, but he moves it up, and off the ice as he bounces:

He then turns during the bounce, aiming to land on his thighs (less painful in my experience, and less risk of a tailbone or head injury as you continue to bounce and slide on the ice). His arm extends outward to avoid hitting his elbow directly on the ice with the weight of his upper body against it, while moving the arm up, placing his bicep closer to the head (which will help prevent his head from smacking against the ice):

Finally, he stops sliding and has, officially, “landed” his fall:

Note how the head is tucked in, resting a bit on the bicep, his elbow is not being leaned against (or broken after this fall) since it is laying flat, and how he is on his side? Yeah. That’s a pretty great fall. 

You’d be a little scratched up after that if the ice was rough and since he wasn’t wearing a jacket/gloves--but you’d probably avoid bruising or any severe injuries. The reason for the fall was probably a combination of the scratched up ice (which he credits), being out of practice, and his need for more muscle training.  Still, AWESOME. He’s doing really well for being as out of practice as he is. 

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STORY??

Okay--Now that I’ve nerded out about the skating I’ll talk about the larger story.

Kensei is hated by his current team. It reminds me a lot of the hate that was given towards Ren Mihashi in Big Windup! prior to transferring schools. 

Kensei is obviously very talented--I mean, not everyone can come back from being off the ice FOR YEARS and do jumps like that without seriously hurting themselves and falling all over the place. It’s not like riding a bike--it’s more like highly skilled dancing... on blades... on a very slippery surface where you are likely to seriously break something. His team hates him for some reason, and act like he’s not a team player or something but he doesn’t come off that way. Perhaps a bit overly confident for their liking, but he clearly has the skills to back it up and we have proof that he can play on a team since we’re shown him playing basketball in Episode 1 and told that he’s played on and been scouted by a number of other teams at the school.

If they dislike him because of him quitting for a while, I’d say they need to get over it because we learn in the first few minutes of the anime that before Kensei’s last competition he lost both his parents--who were professional ice-skaters--in a traumatic accident. 

In the flashback we see of him as a child, the reference point for why so many of his current teammates seem to hate him, we see that Kensei doesn’t seem to have any friends. In fact, our antagonist Reo Shinozaki is the one seen surrounded by people and other kids. While Reo doesn’t seem to regard any of his peers as being friends or equals, it’s pretty clear that he is at least liked more by the other kids than Kensei who is alone. 

As a teen, Kensei has made several friends outside of skating which we see in the current episodes but he still hasn’t made much headway with the other skaters--though at least one of the older kids, Yukimitsu Mochizuki, is nice to him. Some of the members are obviously mad at him for something and wish he wasn’t part of the team and maybe that’s because of his boisterous personality but more likely its due to something more petty, like jealousy or envy at Kensei’s skill or some sort of lack in communication. (Remember, they were all individual competitors going against each other at one point, and when your friends are also who you actively compete against it can get pretty ugly.) 

That’s not to say Kensei is without flaws. As mentioned, he is overly confident at points and makes careless statements about a few of the other members’ being of lower skill or caliber than him despite knowing that he is out of practice and that they take the sport very seriously. If I was to apply this to my own experience as a former skater, it may be like when I had a falling out with many of my skating friends after I had to stop competing and no longer attended lessons. Many of them, particularly at our young age and level, couldn’t imagine giving up skating for any reason aside from losing life or a limb. Concussions or the after effects didn’t feel real to them (nor to me), and yet the pain I felt doing simple spins or moving quickly left me in pain and feeling like I had just slammed my head against the ice. Some felt like I was quitting just as the real competitions were getting started (entering adult competitions). One friend later told me that she felt like I had quit while I was ahead, “robbing” her of the chance to beat me, as though I would have know that. A few others said that it felt like I didn’t care about them or the sport anymore when I stopped coming to group lessons. Meanwhile, I felt like I was being abandoned and lost now that I couldn’t do the one thing that had consumed much of my free time and focus in life at that age... But it’s okay now, because I found anime. (JK--it all worked out as we got older and talked things through.)

I’m sure that as the series progresses, these combative issues within the team will work themselves out and I’m looking forward to it!

Comparatively, it feels a LOT like the Free! series (you remember that swimming anime we were all obsessed with?), though the focus on ice skating that we see within the series thus far (such as news stories, the number of clubs and schools that have ice skating clubs, youtube-videos, and other media) imply that ice skating is as prevalent there as basketball or volleyball. Which, as much as I’d love that to be true, is simply not the case. It’s fictionalized, obviously, and the story is really laying on the drama pretty thick from inter-team disharmony to a larger rivalry with our antagonist that said antagonist doesn’t even seem to register, think about, or give two hoots towards.

As for the rest of the fictional universe of this world... Uh. It’s a high school sports anime so what do you expect?

Simply put, it’s a standard story for this genre. 

I have not yet read the manga--but I plan to immediately. 8/10 recommend streaming on Funimation.com, and 10/10 on animation (if only for the skating). The next episode comes out on the 10th, so now is a great time to catch up! 

[nurvuss]

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

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The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

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The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

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The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

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The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

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The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For: 

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

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The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

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The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

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The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

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The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

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The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

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The Lowdown: 

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

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The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

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The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

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The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

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The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

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The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

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The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

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The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

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The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

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The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

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The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

[littlestarlost]

what happened.

All this hunger is Always following us Out where we survive under poisonous skies They’re dreaming, but nobody’s sleeping Just coked hearts speeding See all the gold teeth gleaming See all the young, healthy free men Just move into nothing

(CW: discussion of mental health, trauma, PTSD)

A version of this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for ten months. I know this, because I originally began to write it around late January, just in time for the one-year mark to have passed since I’d last updated Setting Sun. When I posted that most recent update, I had just turned 30 years old, and I promised that it would not be another year before the next update. I wanted, so badly, for that to be true. In hindsight, it’s honestly better that I failed to keep that promise; I fear it might have exacerbated the damage that’s already been done, and made the healing process that much harder.

It’s been nearly two years. I want to talk about what happened.

I first began to write about Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov because I recognized myself so keenly in them; Yuuri’s high-achieving anxiety and imposter syndrome, and Victor’s quietly functional depression. When I found YOI, I was in grad school; I was winning awards, the top of my class, and utterly terrified that it was all a sham. Being able to channel those emotions through these characters helped me realize my own greatness, to embody it and walk with confidence and bravado. It allowed me to go into my post-degree job search with my head held high, trusting that all the lessons I had learned would lead me to professional success. Yuuri and Victor walked through life with me, two shadows of my own psyche, two people who helped me understand myself.

The first few months of the job were fine. Then things became less than fine, and then continued to descend into the kind of mundane nightmare that only multinational corporate legal firms could manifest. Setting Sun, a story about love and self-acceptance and joy, began to twist around in on itself. I don’t want to go into detail, but suffice to say that I spent nearly two years being gaslit and abused, told I was worthless, constantly having panic attacks as I desperately tried to exert control over things that were way over my head. My body betrayed me; I was in so much pain I couldn’t walk, so stressed I couldn’t bring myself to eat unless I’d smoked weed to calm the nausea. I began to believe that I had peaked in grad school, that I was fooling myself, that I was going to be trapped in that cubicle for the rest of my life, doing grunt work without challenge or interest, in the kind of workplace where you get reported to HR for sighing too loudly. That is a thing that actually fucking happened to me; nobody asked why I might be sighing, and nobody stopped by to check in when I spent most days in tears. This was a place where less than half the people in the room put up their hands when asked if they had ever been creative as kids. This was a place where I almost never got to see the sun.

Because I was massively overqualified and even more massively underworked, I spent a lot of 2018 writing fanfic--my zine pieces, my zutara pieces, all sorts of creative things. I also began to write horror AUs; two stories, in particular, gained a fair amount of traction on this particular platform. When I look back now, I see them for the coping mechanisms that they were; in the case of the crossroads AU, where Yuuri is willing to sell his soul to the devil just to escape his commute, it wasn’t even particularly subtle. I poured all my energy into creative pursuits; it’s been my outlet my whole life, and for a while it helped. By the time I hit the SCP-9874 AU, I burned out so profoundly and utterly that it destroyed my relationship to YOI and cauterized the pieces. SCP-9874 was one of the most creative things I’ve ever done, but it also involved what is, in hindsight, a shocking level of violence and horror inflicted on these characters who were such a close part of me. I was doing this to them because I was hurting, all the time. I now recognize it as the cry for help that it was, and to this day I fantasize about taking down all the SCP-9874 posts and excising that portion of my legacy as much as possible.

I wrote Setting Sun’s 21st chapter in honour of my 30th birthday, in late January of 2019. Somehow, at the time, I didn’t realize how rough it was. How much it implied about me and how I was doing. How much it reflected the true extent of the damage I was suffering. I left Victor and Yuuri in an abandoned apartment with more questions than answers and more regrets than they or I had ever thought possible, and I thought, somehow, that this was a good turning point. Little did I know at the time that the worst was still to come.

I was able to finally escape that toxic office last October, when I found a new job that paid nearly double and was everything I wanted to do in life and more. But  Yuri on Ice hurt too much to think about, even as time marched forward and I began to heal. I had PTSD flashbacks to the old office; I dealt with echo upon echo of terror that everything would fall away to reveal I was trapped in the same old nightmare again. In January 2020, I actually took a few days off for my birthday and reread Setting Sun from the beginning, and I’d somehow forgotten how funny it is, how sweet it is, how hopeful. I had completely forgotten; it had been burned away by twenty months of agony. That realization hurt more than all the other ones put together, I think. I had a good long cry over that.

Fast forward to now, and people have started to find Setting Sun again. They’ve found it on and off in the months since I updated, and for a very long time I would read the truly lovely comments people wrote--thanking me for writing it, hoping I’d come back someday, wishing me well wherever I was--and I would dissolve into tears because I just...couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to go back to this story that I could no longer recognize myself in. And nowadays, when new commenters come, I will warn them about that last chapter I wrote, because I can recognize it as the outlier it is.

But something has very recently changed.

I couldn’t necessarily tell you exactly what. Maybe it’s that I passed the one-year mark at my new job, and the last of the poison has finally been excised. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at all my writing with new eyes as I prepare to try doing this for a living. Maybe it’s because it’s 2020, and the rules aren’t really relevant anymore. I don’t know. But I can say that, two weekends ago, I opened Setting Sun, and realized that it didn’t seem impossible anymore. I realized that the boys had been through more than enough. We’ve been through more than enough. We deserve the happy ending I always planned to give them, going back four whole years when I first planned out this massive weird tale.

It’s been a very long time. It’s been exactly long enough.

I can’t promise exactly when the final chapter of Setting Sun will arrive. I’m walking back onto previously thin ice, and my footsteps are more than a little hesitant, so as not to cause any undue cracks. But I can remember the joy and humour and fun again; I can conceive of jokes and silliness and sweetness again. My playlist is filling up again, with songs of hope and love instead of anguish and sorrow. The Yuuri and Victor who sit inside my heart are skating; the music is carrying them, the wind is rushing past their ears, their feet feel light again and they want to jump and take flight and make beautiful things.

I have bookended this post with lyrics from a song that’s been on the maybe list for Setting Sun for nearly as long as Setting Sun has existed. It’s a song I love quite profoundly, a song that means a lot to me personally, but I could never manage to make it fit. It’s a song about running away to the big bright city, about being broken on the world’s wheel, and about realizing you just want to go home. It’s a song that’s ostensibly about the tragedy of this process, but right now I’m sitting at my desk, listening to the line I, I, I wanna go back, back, back, back, with grateful tears running down my face, and I’m realizing that it’s not part of Yuuri’s story, nor Victor’s; it’s part of mine. Home may never be the same as when you left, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t waiting for you with open arms.

So that’s what happened.

Put my body on a wagon And carry me off to the ocean Let me float on into the eastern sun Out where tomorrow has just begun Where I used to be wild, back in my time Now I just fight to sleep at night So render me up into the elements Lay me in a light that I can trust Lay me in a light that I can trust Lay me in a light that I come from...

(Gold Teeth, by Hey Rosetta!)

[cjs-51703]

Title: The Day After

Fandom: Yuri!!! On ICE

Pairing: Seung-Gil Lee x Phichit Chulanont

Rating: T

Enjoy :)

Maybe eating mysterious Korean food at a bar hadn't been the best idea after all.

Phichit was thinking this as he threw up into the hotel bathroom's toilet. He hadn't even eaten that much, he recalled as he sat up.

After placing second in his first Grand Prix Final event in Seoul, he went out with the other five skaters: Yuri Katsuki (who'd taken second), Seung-Gil Lee (in third), Guang-Hong Ji (in fourth), Leo de la Iglesias (in fifth), and Minami Kenjirou (in sixth). Their coaches (save for Victor, who had insisted on eating with his husband) had all spent their evenings elsewhere.

Before the second round of nausea could come up, Phichit decided to get some closer help. He wouldn't be leaving Seoul for a few more days, so he had to rely, for once, on the friend who wasn't probably asleep with a significant other next to him.

"You do realize what time it is. Am I correct, Chulanont?"

"Yes, but—"

Suddenly, the second wave hit, and Phichit abruptly dropped his phone to get sick again. After a few minutes, he picked it back up.

"If you couldn't tell, last night's dinner isn't really agreeing with me."

"I see. You're staying at the same hotel as everyone else?"

"Yeah. Room 1804."

"And I'm assuming you called me for company?"

"Yeah. I would've let you sleep if I didn't feel so bad."

"Min-So has been calling me to practice for the past half hour. I enjoy skating and want to perfect my routines, yes, but I'm no machine. Letting you rest at my apartment will be a good enough reason for her to give me at least a day or so of rest. I'll pick you up shortly."

And then, Seung-Gil hung up. Phichit slowly stood up and began to gather his things, keeping a trash can nearby.

He knew that Min-So, his unlikely friend's coach, could be pretty intense, especially when it came to the Grand Prix serious. He must have been happy to have a reason to relax with his husky, Eun.

And even if Phichit felt as though he were about to throw up something vital, he was happy to get to spend time with Seung-Gil as well.

XxX

After hanging up, Seung-Gil had shot Min-So a quick text that he would be busy for the day before turning off his phone and leaving it on his nightstand. If Min-So wanted to argue, then they could do it later.

Seung-Gil was by no means an emotional person, but he knew that how much he cared for one of the few skaters who was worth his time was beyond the level of friendship. He scratched his husky behind the ears before leaving his apartment and going to the hotel where the other skaters were staying.

Competing on his home turf put him under higher pressure than any other competition did, but at least he could just drive without the hassle of travel. He went up to room 1804 and knocked on the door. When the door opened, he felt a pang at his stoic heart.

Phichit was much paler than normal, wearing his practice attire of a t-shirt and sweatpants. "Thanks again," he said, his voice tired.

"I'll take these. You're already checked out of the hotel. Call the coach with the ponytail in my car. The apartment is a decent drive away and I would rather not clean your vomit from my floorboards. There is a trashcan in the passenger seat," Seung-Gil said, shouldering Phichit's backpack and taking his suitcase.

Phichit blinked once in surprise. He knew that Seung-Gil liked him, but to what exten, he had no clue. A bit of hope fluttered in his chest; maybe something nice could come out of today after all.

XxX

Seung-Gil was mostly silent on the drive over, with the exception of minimal replies to the small talk Phichit tried to have with him to distract from how horrible he felt, especially after emptying out his stomach another time or two.

Once they arrived at a small apartment building in downtown Seoul, Seung-Gil grabbed Phichit's bags and lead him up to his apartment. It was small; after all, he only lived with his dog. But it was clean, and had a modern yet cozy feel.

"you can set up camp in my room. There is a bedroom and a bathroom," Seung-Gil said. Phichit looked up from where he was petting Eun, ever a happy husky. "Are you sure? I mean, I don't mind sleeping on the couch," he said.

However, he was lead to Seung-Gil's room by a pale hand holding his tanned one. His room was small, and a little messy as well. He hadn't quite been expecting a tennant today.

Still, the Korean laid Phichit's things on the unmade bed, where Eun hopped onto the bed. "Make yourself at home. I'll be back shortly," Seung-Gil said.

Phichit sat down on the cushy mattress. "Am I that bad of a guest?" he joked. "No. I'm picked up ingredients to make a soup my mother made whenever I got sick as a child," Seung-Gil said. And then, he left.

Phichit relaxed into the bed, pulled the comforter over him and Eun, who had apparently decided to be his cuddle buddy. It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep.

XxX

Seung-Gil was gone for an hour, at the most. Making the soup and gathering medicine for Phichit only took about half an hour. Why he noted things of the sort in silence, he would never know.

Still, he went towards his occupied bedroom and found a sight that made his pale cheeks flush red. He abandoned the soup bowl, putting it onto his desk, and tried to remember how to breathe as he took another look at Phichit.

The Thai man was stretched out on the bed, his t-shirt forgotten to expose his lithe, fit figure. Seung-Gil walked over at last and sat on the bedside, avoiding sitting on his dog and his crush.

"Nae salang, jal jageola," he whispered before pressing a kiss to Phichit's warm forehead.

And he could've sworn he saw Phichit smiling as he left.

[sillyfeathers]

Summer Vacation (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Summer Vacation Prompts: “You like this don’t you?”; “Smile for me!”; “I’m barely touching you!” Warnings: none Relationships: Steve Harrington x reader Summary: Your idea of a perfect summer is very different to Steve’s. He realises a bit of persuasion may be necessary. Words: 1,072

A/N: prompt requested by @yuris-bitch! I thought I was gonna struggle to write this ngl, but it ended up coming really easily! I hope you like it :)

“What do you call a broken can opener?”

“I don’t know, Steve.”

“A can’t opener!” Steve beamed at you, but all you gave him was a blank stare.

“Get it?” Steve began, interpreting your silence as confusion (which it wasn’t), “Can opener, it can open–”

“I get it, Steve.”

He rolled back onto the bed, sighing. “I give up.”

You rolled your eyes, turning back to your work. “I appreciate you coming over, but I need to get this done.”

“It’s summer, Y/N!”

Well, he had a point. It was two weeks into your summer vacation, and while you were taking the year off to have a break from school, you had taken up an intensive summer course to keep you working. You’d always planned to go straight to college, but after Steve said he was staying in Hawkins, you decided to give the year a try, to ‘find yourself’ or whatever.

The downside to that was you were spending your vacation indoors – occasionally outdoors, if it wasn’t too hot – stuck at your desk, pouring over books. Steve, having got a job at the mall, had taken to coming over during his lunch break. You did feel kind of bad for never hanging out with him, but you figured that if he was keeping himself busy, you should too.

“I mean, you haven’t even been to the mall yet,” Steve had continued, jabbing you in the back.

“I could get you a great deal on ice-cream, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?” A poke to the shoulder made you jump.

“And we haven’t been able to hang out and goof around like we used to at all, so I’m stuck telling you dumb jokes just so you can smile!”

This time, it was a prod to your side, and you couldn’t cover the tiny squeak you made.

You weren’t facing him, but you could practically hear him smirking as he started to say,”I mean I’m running out of ways to make you happy, Y/N.”

“I – I am happy!” you managed, biting your lip as his other hand came into the equation, poking each side.

“Yeah? Say it to my face. Turn around, smile, and say it to my face.”

Fighting the blush rising to your cheeks, you spun around in your chair, looking up at him. He was kneeling down to your level now, and his face was completely innocent – almost too innocent.

“Steve Harrington, I am –”

You were cut off as his hand found your waist, and he winked at you.

“Come on, Y/N, smile for me.”

He started to flutter his fingers against both your sides now, and you only lasted maybe 5 seconds before you dissolved into giggles, half-heartedly swatting at his hands.

“Leheheave me alone, Steve!”

He shook his head, a mock-evil look coming onto his face. “Not a chance, this is too good. I mean look at you.” He paused, spidering across your ribs. “I’m barely touching you!”

With that, he seized you by the hips and pulled you off the chair and into his arms. He secured his arms around the front of you so your back was pressed against his chest, and used his new position to go to town on your stomach, easily reaching every ticklish spot. You shrieked with laughter, kicking out at the air in front of you, but Steve had you in the perfect, most vulnerable position, and there was no getting away from it.

“Going down!” he yelled, and you gasped as you felt both of you fall into the bed. You felt even more exposed, Steve scribbling at your sides and stomach as you squirmed in his arms.

“You son of a bitch!” you managed to get out through your laughter, yelping as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Now, that’s not the way you talk to people is it?” he chided, pinching your sides before blowing a raspberry into the crook of your neck. You squealed, instinctively trying to squirm away from him, but he continued to tickle you with no mercy, and you soon found yourself not really fighting it.

He started to slow down, his fingers lightly running up and down your sides, with an occasional poke to make you jump. If he tilted his head, he could see your face.

Your cheeks were flushed bright red. A steady stream of giggles was still pouring from your mouth, and your eyes were squeezed shut. But the thing that Steve noticed the most; it was that you were happy. It wasn’t even a forced happiness – and it was more from you than he’d seen the entire summer.

“Oh my god,” he murmured from beneath you, finally stopping his gentle assault.

You were still laughing softly, and didn’t really hear him.

“You like this, don’t you?”

Your entire body stiffened, and Steve felt it.

“Steve, no, don’t you dare–” you stammered, beginning to squirm. But you didn’t really want to leave, and it was just too easy for him to make you a giggly mess again with one swipe of his fingers.

“I mean, you aren’t denying it,” he teased, grinning as you squeaked when he twitched his fingers under your arms.

“Fihihine!” you laughed, and he stopped.

He let you catch your breath before pushing you off of him. You both sat up, Steve still smirking at you.

“I don’t – I don’t hate it,” you mumbled, blushing. “But that doesn’t mean – whatever.” Steve’s grin only grew, and he pushed your shoulder jokingly.

“Well now I know what to do when you’re being a buzzkill,” he said, getting to his feet and extending a hand towards you. You glanced back at the desk, where your work was still lying, abandoned.

“Y/N,” Steve interrupted, before you could open your mouth, “If you even think about going back to your study I will pin you to this bed and tickle you until you’re crying.”

Your eyes widened at him, and you slowly took his hand.

“I know your weakness now,” he reminded, pulling you to your feet. You shoved him playfully, glaring (weak) daggers at him as he directed you out of the door.

“Wait, Steve, where are we going?” “To the mall, dumbass. I only have 45 minutes for lunch, and you definitely need some ice cream.”

So maybe, maybe, you could give studying a bit of a break.

[cavesalamander]

My brief thoughts on this season of anime!

Just a quick review of the ones I’d recommend and/or keep watching. I managed to find all of the below on Funimation or Crunchyroll or Youtube!

Horymia: (Yes) This is looking to be a very funny romcom slice of life style anime, and seems to be a fairly good one! Had me laughing a lot. The Main couple are a nerdy quiet boy who’s actually dumb as a sack of bricks using his disheveled appearance to hide his tattoos and piercings, and a popular pretty girl who’s actually a total homebody. Their friends seem to have a lot of potential to be fleshed out as the series progresses and I look forward to seeing how it goes!

So I’m a Spider, So What?: (Yes) Whooo another isekai (excited)! This time a girl and her entire class!? Get isekai’d in a massive explosion. The main character reincarnates as a trash monster in a dungeon and must fight her way up the food chain just to survive. Meanwhile her friends who have mostly reincarnated as Cool Humans or the occasional elf or baby dragon, have mostly found each other, and want to figure out what happened/why and if they’re all okay. It’s genuinely pretty funny, though leans a little too hard sometimes on the gamey aspects of this new world. I think it may get darker as it goes along too.

Mushoku Tensei: (No) Whooo another isekai (derogatory). 34 yo old man gets reincarnated and uses his worldly experience to Learn Magic Fast and creep on his mom and prepubescent tutor. If you can stomach that stuff, it actually has a fair amount of potential? It did set itself up to touch on some interesting stuff down the road, but I’m kind of Over the horny toddler/young boy trope and it kinda just seems like the protagonist is Just Awesome At Everything but not in a remotely charming way.

Cells at Work Code Black: (Yes) If you liked Cells at Work, this is that but dingier, and is able to tackle some darker themes - like what stress, smoking, drinking, and probably eventually STDs can do to your body.

Kemono Jihen: (Yes) I don’t wanna explain TOO much about the plot of this one because it looks to be a mystery series, and the first episode sets it up the characters very very well. A man from the city is called to a rural town where animals are being mysteriously killed and found rotting. He’s tasked with finding and killing the perpetrator, assumed to be a monster of some kind. It does the horror very well, and even in the first episode manages some twistyness.

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter: (No) Even for a blatant fan service anime this one is just......... stupid. It might have a scrap of joy to it if the protagonist were anything other than a boring sycophant. His harem just all seems to be random girls who’s singular personality traits are to be in love with him in various stereotypical ways, that he just uses to min max his Cool Stats. But like, it’s not even self aware enough to make that into an interesting premise.

Sk8: (Yes) It’s a racing anime that seems super stylish and fun and very well animated. The protagonists have some cool chemistry already, and it really leans into the Underground Illegal Racing part of the fun - all the various characters who battle in death defying races through this abandoned mine, all have seemingly ordinary day jobs. Definitely worth a shot if that sounds up your alley.

Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town?: (Probably) Okay so the premise is just there in the title and is actually pretty fun. Think: a random NPC who is considered pretty weak where the monsters are lv 50 moving somewhere where the monsters are scary at lv 5, shenanigans ensue. The MC boy is hilariously oblivious to the fact that anyone with a shred of sense can see he’s insanely over leveled to the area, and just trying to be nice and polite to everyone ^u^. The tentative nature of my recommendation is that it is kind of leaning harder on the Girls are Obsessed With Him train than is ideal. How much it depends on that as opposed to utilizing the premise to its fullest extent will have an enormous bearing on how fun the show is to watch going forward.

Ex-Arm: (Absolutely not but yes) It’s a fucking train wreck.

Heavens Design Team: (Yes) God decided to outsource creating animals to a team of angels, and works as a client giving weird ass requests for the angels to fill. Hilarity ensues, and it is peak edutainment to boot. It’s so much fun learning weird shit about animals, or trying to guess the animal these seemingly random train of failed attempts leads to.

Dr. Ramune -Mysterious Disease Specialist-: (No) It has a promising premise and some good moments. The main characters are solving these weird “diseases” that people get by finding the actual emotional cause and using magic of some kind to monkey paw it into a resolution. This could be really fun and interesting, but something about the execution just... falls flat? Like maybe it picks up as the season goes on but for now it’s not rly worth it.

Vlad Love: (Yes) I was going through the list of anime this season and was like wtf is this and literally just now watched episode 1. It’s about a girl with a blood donation kink and her vampire girlfriend. Literally. It’s rly funny and over the top ridiculous but like, gay vampires.

Back Arrow: (No) It’s like... fine. It’s about these two warring kingdoms surrounded by a wall with a mountain range between. They worship the wall as god, and occasionally get gifts from beyond it, in the form of mech suits they use to fight each other in. One day a boy shows up from beyond the wall in one of those suits and no memories of anything and he wants to get back. Which... could be promising I guess? But something about the show just didn’t grab my attention.

Skate-Leading Stars: (No) It’s like Yuri on ice if it was less gay and less well written I guess...? The first episode set up the Drama competently enough, but I just... couldn’t give a shit.

Project Scard: (No) For some reason part of Tokyo has been turned into a post apocalyptic hellscape where people just murder each other. They also have super powered tattoos and use them to fight each other. Animation is very similar to Handshakers - which is an Aesthetic that may not appeal to some. The first episode didn’t rly do much for me but I could see it going somewhere if it tries.

Wave!!: (No) Might have been a tentative yes if I hadn’t gone on and watched the second episode. First ep went hard with the queerbaiting cause they want to be the new Free! but with surfing, but Ep 2 just forgot all about that entirely. Dialogue is mostly boring and there’s like 3 sets, which becomes painfully obvious very quickly by ep 2.

Idoly Pride: (No) Literally looks like they ripped off the waifus of a bunch of other more popular anime and made an idol anime with the most basic ass idol plot. Nothing exceptional here.

Gekidol: (undecided) It’s an idol anime... set after a mysterious apocalyptic event? It’s mostly so far seemed intriguing as hell but not my jam. Mysterious craters destroyed parts of Japan, and its rebuilding and the MCs wanna bring light to the world. Maybe aliens exist? Idk! I’m intrigued.

I*Chu: (No) Another idol anime but this time it’s cute boys! Idk maybe this is a decent idol anime but it rly didn’t grab me and idol stuff isn’t usually my jam. I couldn’t tell anything exceptionally unique about this one from just the first episode.

WIXOSS Diva: (No, but) I don’t normally watch spin-offs of series but I didn’t realize until halfway into this that it was one cause Crunchyroll didn’t attach it to the core line. It’s like... magical girl battle idols in VR! Which honestly if you’re a fan of that it might actually be worth checking out.(edited)

Idolls!: (No) Another idol anime! But this one uses mocap 3d models. Phoned in plot line delivered by a weird tiki statue that tells the girls what to do. Seems extraordinarily low budget, and more just a way to sell music. The whole episode happened in a single set and  was basically just... girls want to make it big as idols... oh no... gotta book a stage! Yay they got one! Now must get an audience! Like... ok

Hortensia Saga: (No but) Sword and sorcery fantasy setting that’s mostly sword, main character is a princess masquerading as a male knight alongside the son of her dead parents’s also dead bodyguard. The first episode is very lore heavy and felt kinda like the prologue to a video game. So it ended up feeling a little expository and trope laden, but it has potential. Seems a bit Game of Thronesy? Wasn’t like... bad or anything, so if it’s your thing you might enjoy it.

Otherside Picnic: (Yes) I think it’s gay first of all, two girls going exploring / treasure hunting / monster hunting in a bizarre mirror world to their own. Girls are cute, it’s very interesting premise and writing seems solid.

Wonder Egg Priority: (Yes) It deals with some HEAVY themes? But it’s... a bit of a psychological horror but in a way that feels very like it’s dealing with some of the real life issues. The main character girl comes across as neurodivergent, and it’s just... idk man the first episode was good and left me wanting more.

[recentanimenews]

J-Novel Club Licenses Slayers, Holmes of Kyoto, and More

  Light novel and manga distributor J-Novel Club were on hand today for Anime Expo Lite, the West Coast convention's answer to the current social distancing measures in place. During their industry panel, they rolled out an exciting slate of 13 light novel and manga titles, some of which are available to start right now on their website if you're a JNC member!

  Here's the full list of new titles:

  The Bloodline

publishing first on J-Novel Club

  After the fall of civilization, a hierarchical society was born where blood determines everything. The rich steal both the blood and lifespans of the poor, rejoicing in their now-eternal lives.

Nagi is a commoner fated to die, while Saya is royalty, gifted with eternal youth. When fate brings their unlikely paths together, their innocent love set the gears in motion to tear down the walls of a society built upon tremendous inequality and racial discrimination.

  Slayers

Beautiful and brilliant sorcerer girls just can't have nice things, huh? All I wanted to do was swipe a little bit of bandit treasure. Now suddenly I'm being chased around by icky trolls, nasty demons, mean mummies, and brooding golem bad boys. And for what? A tiny little artifact that can bring about the end of the world? Hah! I'll show them there's a reason you don't cross Lina Inverse…

  Start reading now

I Love Yuri and I Got Bodyswapped with a Fujoshi! (manga adaptation)

Meet Reiji Yoshida: a yuri otaku that loves yuri more than anything else in the world. All he wants is to enjoy his hobby in peace, but trouble ensues when he crosses paths with Mitsuru Hoshina, a fujoshi who is obsessed with boys’ love. Hijinks ensue, and a vengeful ghost residing in their school’s manga club swaps their bodies!

Polar opposites in both personalities and hobbies clash in this exciting first volume—follow the adventures of their comedic body swap experiences!

  Start reading now

My Instant Death Ability is So Overpowered, No One in This Other World Stands a Chance Against Me!

Awaking to absolute chaos and carnage while on a school trip, Yogiri Takatou discovers that everyone in his class has been transported to another world! He had somehow managed to sleep through the entire ordeal himself, missing out on the Gift — powers bestowed upon the others by a mysterious Sage who appeared to transport them. Even worse, he and another classmate were ruthlessly abandoned by their friends, left as bait to distract a nearby dragon.

  Although not terribly bothered by the thought of dying, he reluctantly decides to protect his lone companion. After all, a lowly Level 1000 monster doesn't stand a chance against his secret power to invoke Instant Death with a single thought! If he can stay awake long enough to bother using it, that is…

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WATARU!!! The Hot-Blooded Fighting Teen & His Epic Adventures in a Fantasy World After Stopping a Truck with His Bare Hands!!

It's a wonderful day for Wataru Ito, high school student, master martial artist, honorable and humble teenager, and all-around awesome guy. During his daily run to school he happened to get hit by a large truck barreling around a corner.

Not that this is the kind of event that would be the end of the likes of Wataru, of course, but when a truck runs into you, you get sent to another world. That's just the way things are sometimes. Still, Wataru's not about to take this kind of thing lying down! The first thing he sets out to do is find who's the toughest hombre in this land and go up against the greatest challenges this new world has to offer!

Oh, and the greatest fighter in this place also happens to be the Demon Lord who is kidnapping people all across the kingdom in an attempt to wipe out humanity? Even better! Wataru's main interest is in facing a tough battle; saving the world in the process is just icing on the cake!

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Record of Wortenia War (manga)

Ryoma Mikoshiba, an ordinary high-schooler adept at martial arts, one day finds himself summoned to another world. The ones who summoned him, the O’ltormea Empire, cite the fact that 'when those summoned kill another living being, they can absorb a fraction of their strength and make it their own' as their reason. But upon learning the empire uses those they summon to strengthen themselves by foul means, Ryoma is consumed by hatred and slays an important member of the O’ltormean court.

Attempting to escape the Empire's borders while keeping his identity a secret, he is accosted by two twin sisters— one golden-haired, the other silver-haired— in a meeting that sets the gears of fate in motion. The curtain rises on a record of the wars of a young supreme ruler in this other world fantasy!

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A Lily Blooms in Another World

a J-Novel Heart title

Miyako Florence isn’t sad when her fiancée breaks off their engagement after two years. It’s all according to plan! Whisked to the world of her favorite otome game, Miyako frees herself from a dull noble to pursue her true soulmate: the game’s villainess Fuuka Hamilton. Proud Fuuka only has eyes for their mutual ex-fiancée! Miyako confesses her love to Fuuka and proposes that they run away together.

Fuuka agrees on one condition: Miyako must make her say “I’m happy” in 14 days. With conniving nobles, strange diseases, and magical rituals pulling them apart, can Miyako win the villainess’s heart? A tentative bud blossoms in this twisting romance from the author of Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!

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Mapping: The Trash-Tier Skill That Got Me into a Top-Tier Party

  Note Athlon was really looking forward to becoming an adventurer with his best friend (and crush) Miya. That is, until he drew Mapping—a rare skill with practically no purpose. In other words, it’s trash. This kicks off a vicious spiral for Note, who plummets further and further into the depths of self-loathing despair when Miya leaves him. He now spends his days drinking away his earnings, wondering how things might have been different if only he’d pulled a better skill...

But little does he know his trash-tier skill is about to score him an invite to a top-tier adventuring party! Note’s now determined to find his way through life—and a dungeon!—in order to make something of himself.

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Mapping: The Trash-Tier Skill That Got Me into a Top-Tier Party (manga adaptation)

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The Sorcerer's Receptionist

a J-Novel Heart title

  In a world of everyday magic, Nanalie has always dreamed of becoming a receptionist at the prestigious Sorcerer's Guild. To achieve her goal, she needs to attend a magic school full of princes and the daughters of nobles. Determined to prove that a commoner can be the number one student, she must compete with Rockmann, the son of a duke. When she graduates, she lands her dream job and they go their separate ways.

Nanalie enjoys spending each day alongside her familiar Lala and her kind co-workers, but it seems that fate won’t let her escape her entanglement with Rockmann that easily...

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Black Summoner

Waking up in a strange new place with no memory of his past life, Kelvin learns that he’s bartered away those very memories in exchange for powerful new abilities during his recent transmigration. Heading out into a whole new world as a Summoner — with his first Follower being the very goddess who brought him over! — Kelvin begins his new life as an adventurer, and it isn’t long before he discovers his hidden disposition as a battle junkie.

From the Black Knight of the Ancient Castle of Evil Spirits to the demon within the Hidden Cave of the Sage, he revels in the fight against one formidable foe after another. Join this OP adventurer in an exhilarating and epic saga as he and his allies carve their way into the annals of history!

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Black Summoner (manga)

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Holmes of Kyoto

a J-Novel Heart title

    Half a year after moving to Kyoto, high school girl Aoi Mashiro brings her late grandfather’s old scrolls to Kura, an antique store nestled in Kyoto’s Teramachi-Sanjo shopping arcade, for an appraisal. One thing leads to another, and she winds up working there part-time. The manager’s son, Kiyotaka Yagashira—nicknamed the “Holmes of Kyoto”—is uncannily perceptive, and together, they solve strange cases relating to the antiques brought to them by clients.

  Start reading now

    >> J-Novel Club Website

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[datingsimreviews]

Nameless the one thing you can recall was a great game. Honestly it’s easily become one of my favorite m/f dating sims. It’s got great relationships that have all sorts of hurt/comfort and feel very much like the found family trope.

If you’re into doki doki literature and want to find games like that while enjoying normal dating sim elements play nameless. It’s got an unromancable character that deletes paths and changes the script while having good romancable side characters. It even references you the viewer watching things and deletes saved files.

 Initial premise: So you play a girl who collects dolls. She’s embarrassed about collecting dolls because they’re childish. Then her dolls come to life and become humans and she’s shocked. They start going to her school and are dubbed the HOT5 because of they’re beauty like any Chinese or koreon drama ever. Everyone at school is trying to figure out the heroine’s connection with the male leads. But she’s much more embarrassed about how she collects dolls and is focused on that than the fact that they became human.

It’s got all the knight/master or owner devotion thing without it being creepy because these people are literally not human. The story also touches on abandonment and loneliness since the protagonist has been using these dolls to cope with her grandpa’s death and that her parents are never around. The dolls themselves feel like their owner will abandon them for anyone because they’re just dolls.

And of course after each route the heroine’s memories are reset and she’s taken to a new route by the Monika of this game so that he can possibly see her.

It’s a pretty cool game. Also no incest because they’re dolls.

The protagonist: I mostly covered her in the initial premise. She’s a girl who focuses more on the fact that she plays with dolls and likes dolls than the fact that her dolls have become human. It’s surprisingly realistic for a supernatural game.

Her real strengths come from her relationships, like with her dolls, her grandpa (who died) and her parents who she know are working to help her but never see her and so she feels sort of lonely but doesn’t want to whine about it. I’m sure a lot of other kids with parents who only work and don’t spend time with their kids will find her relatable.

I really liked her two best friends. Soi and Shinbi. Soi was big in every route for her crush on one of the love interests. She’s that typical boy obsessed girl. But she never faltered into the evil rival character instead giving up on her crush to support her friend and saying that her friendship was more important to her.

Shinbi should have been the real sixth route. She’s a cool calm and composed girl who models. All the girls in class are in love with her and the heroine’s heart skips a beat when she sees her. This should have been a gay game thanks to Shinbi.

Yeonho: The first love interest I romanced. He’s one of the few dolls that the heroine bought on an auction. The entire school calls him a “Chick” because he sparks their maternal instincts to protect him with his cute act.

His route mostly focused on the fact that he feared abandonment because his previous owner scratched him up and told him to be a “good boy”. Every time the heroine leaves he fears that she’ll abandon him and so he becomes obsessive over her. Eventually though he grows and realizes their relationship won’t just wither away if she isn’t there 24/7 and lays off and they form a real romantic relationship and he becomes more mature.

I really liked how realistic his feelings were. Honestly mental illness and trauma portrayed realistically and then people healing is really good stuff.

For some reason he had powers to speak to ghosts and talk to animals and I’m not sure why??? It’s because his personality was designed that way as a doll but it felt out of place.

Yuri: Yuri I was very ready to like because of his design, but once I started playing his route I didn’t like him. Luckily he redeemed himself by the end.

He’s the classic womanizer character. But as an adult teacher! (Kind of. He is a doll and has only been alive a month so he doesn’t really have an age so it makes me feel a bit more lax on this verses other dating sims)

It’s revealed though that he’s a womanizer because he was designed to be every woman’s perfect man. And because he was designed to be that way he doesn’t know how to respond to sincere love and real feelings which makes his route with the heroine very romantic. He had a lot more romance in his route than the other routes I think since the heroine realized she had feelings for him pretty early on after he made her into cinderella with a make over.

He refuses to date his student though and quits being a teacher so that’s nice. (because he gets a job as a teacher when he turns into a human)

In the other routes Yuri was someone who would flirt with the heroine but would be an unlikely shoulder to lean on and give advice so he overall ended up being good.

Lance: One of my favorite routes was Lance who was described as being an ice prince by all the other characters. He’s very smart and cold and distant. But the reason he is that is because he wasn’t designed to have a personality. He feels inferior to all the other dolls for being designed with personalities while he sees himself as uninteresting and nothing.

The heroine helps him by giving him memories and things he likes though even though he wasn’t designed with likes or dislikes. She helps him have a life. They also share a bond because he was the first doll she had out of the main love interests and was the only one there when her grandpa was alive. So she finds him special.

Tei: Tei was interesting because he was the big brother type. (Or Mom type as all of the characters tried to describe him) He always acted like he was trying to help and was the mature and kind one. However in most of the bad endings he ends up killing you so I knew he was straight up crazy and was a little worried for his route.

His route ended up being much better than expected. Sure it had some drama of him dating your friend because his fan club was putting you in danger and he didn’t want them paying attention to you, while trusting Soi because you talked about her so much when he was a doll, but besides that you find out he’s crazy fairly early and just want him to explain why he’s suddenly saying mean stuff.

You see Tei was put in a box most of his life and was only shown an hour a day by his owner. His owner would always say he was clean which he realized was a curse. Because once someone broke him and he became unclean his owner started telling him he was dirty and crying and being mean to him. She then sold him off to the heroine. And because he was a limited edition doll his dirty part (his knee) couldn’t be replaced.

The trauma made him him…different. He loves the heroine in all routes but believes he’s too “dirty” to be with her. If people start harming her though he gets mad because it isn’t him that is making her dirty so she can’t be on his level because abuse = love to him.

In his route he starts feeling urges to hurt her so she can be on his level because she’s too clean for him. So he distances himself by dating her friend.

Of course the heroine helps him come to understand that he’s not dirty or damaged. And they get together and are happy. Before she disappears that is like in all routes.

Red: Red could only be played last and although I love him I feel like he was shafted for main plot stuff.

Red is an action hero doll. An action figure. So he acts like every shonen hero ever talking about defeating villains and using the power of teamwork to work together. Except that isn’t this genre. Only one of him was made and given to the heroine and his makers decided to give him in his personality the delusion that he had hidden special powers. Which never triggered.

His route consists of the fact that he has delusions but the heroine still thinks he brings cheer and love to people. Of course then she starts losing her memories because the Monika of the game (or just the villain) starts tearing apart her memories in that route and she starts gaining amnesia.

Red is a hero though and doesn’t abandon the heroine. Eventually by the end he does start getting special powers and giving her memories back and saving her- even if he doesn’t know it.

It was a sweet route but I wanted more of the focus to be on Red, just like how the other routes were focused on all the characters.

 Overall this game was super fun!!! It’s connected to the dandelion wishes brought to you universe and I’m gonna play that next I think. It genuinely made me happy and I can’t count how many times I said something to myself, shocked.

It’s good for anyone who likes dark themes or games that focus on helping people from trauma, abandonment, or loneliness. The characters were very fleshed out too.

[gremlinsae]

Here is my @yoihomezine piece! Thank you to everyone who helped us raised $1649 for UNHCR!

My submission was a Yuri Plisetsky introspection piece. I hope y'all like it even though it's a bit angsty. 😅

Enjoy~

◇

Agape was difficult.

As Yuri exited the sit spin, he could feel his lungs burn with strain. Memorizing the elements was easy, but executing it made him realize that his senior debut was going to be on a level he never skated before. He was frustrated and Victor’s attitude was really grating on his nerves. 

(The sting of Victor’s forgetfulness over the promise he made and his obvious pining over the pig even more so.)

Victor’s annoying clap reverberated against the rafters of Ice Castle, signaling for Yuri to stop mid-routine again. Victor stood on the ice, his stupid fake smile plastered on his face as he lectured Yuri about his supposed lack of feeling in On Love: Agape. Yuri swore that if Victor spouted some more philosophical whimsy about going to a temple he was going to take off one of his skates and chuck it at him.

“What does Agape mean to you?"

He actually put serious thought into the question, despite his abrasive answer and turning the question back on Victor himself. When Victor prattled on about some bullshit of agape being hard to define as it is a feeling, something intangible much like the love of God or a parent, Yuri scoffed at the idea.

In his fifteen years of life, he had never felt unconditional love from either.

Living with mom - Moscow, Russia

He had never known his father. By the time he was five years old, he understood that his father was out of the picture and never would be in it. It was up to him, and sometimes grandpa, to hold his mother’s hair back as she puked up that foul liquid she had been drinking all day; to rub her back as she sobbed and whimpered out half-assed apologies, yet still grabbing for the poison the next day like it was her lifeblood.

He started school smaller than the other kids, which was difficult enough without the concerned glances from his teachers and the visits to the counselor’s office where they would ask about what life was like at home. He never answered much. The school never intervened as there was no actual proof of abuse or neglect (and Yuri would never have defined it as such anyway) so they continued to let him take the school bus home where he’d find his mother sitting at the dining table with another drink, heavy bags under her eyes, as she fretted over the newest bill to arrive in the mail.

At seven years old, he had learned enough math to know they weren’t doing well - despite how hard his mother tried to hide it. Before he was born, she was ballerina with a bright future...until she got pregnant at seventeen. The damage to her reputation was harsh, but she managed to find a job as an instructor. The pay was meager, barely enough to support herself let alone a child, so she would eat less, go without, make sacrifices - all to make sure he had enough...the alcohol she abused was the only exception.

He never blamed her. Stress was high and inebriation was her only escape. He always felt guilty asking for anything, so to help out he would take quick, cold showers as to not run up the gas and water bills higher than they already were, shivering yet soldiering on. There were times where the power would go out, leaving the food in the fridge to rot and his mother to fret and overwork herself to try and make ends meet. At the end of each day, when she drank herself to an unconscious heap, he’d help her move from the dining room to her bedroom.

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

It was difficult, but overall it wasn’t so bad. The winters were harsh in Moscow without heating, but at least they had each other and grandpa. There wasn’t much in the way of celebrating birthdays or holidays and it reached the point where he no longer asked - but even so, grandpa always made sure he had a decent pair of ice skates to practice in once he fell in love with the sport. He got through school like any other kid, ate enough that he wasn’t starving, and he got to ice skate after school every day for free. He had no complaints.

The best moments were when his mom was sober. It was hard to find her not drinking, the most excessive spells being at the end of the month when stress was high, but there were times few and far between where she would smile and spend her free time with him instead of at the bar or the dance studio. They would dance together and laugh, and on special occasions they would go to the animal shelter and cuddle with all of the kitties and she would promise that one day, when everything got better, she would adopt one for him.

It was hard, but he was happy. They were happy.

Until one afternoon he came home to find his mother, drunk and crying, with an eviction notice in her hand.

Hasetsu On Ice - Hasetsu, Kyushu, Japan

Leaving Ice Castle before the pig even finished his routine left a heavy weight in his stomach. Yuuko tried to cushion the blow somewhat, but he knew from the look on Victor’s face and that disgusting whistle at the beginning of Katsudon’s routine that he was fighting a losing battle.

Victor wasn’t coming back to Russia, and “Yurio” didn’t belong here.

He ignored the way his eyes burned as he said his last do svidanya to Yuuko, who had treated him with nothing but the kind of care and attention he wished he had received from his mother during his competitions and ice shows.

What he didn’t expect, as he was waiting in the terminal for his flight back to St. Petersburg, was to see his mother standing off to the side, waiting for him to notice her presence.

To say he was shocked was an understatement.

The bags under her eyes were less prominent, but she did not age well despite being only in her thirties. There was a certain heaviness in her features, the product of a lifetime of stress and addiction. Her smile was soft, her eyes bright, as if for the first time she was truly seeing him without the fog of inebriation.

“Your skate was lovely, Yura,” she began, her voice strained as if holding back tears. If he wasn’t so shocked, he would have corrected her - she had lost the right to call him by his diminutive years ago when she abandoned him. He was still trying to grasp that she was here, in Japan, and had watched his first performance of Agape.

A little too late, if you ask him, but yet he still paused, his saliva thick and his throat just slightly constricted from the overwhelming emotions waging war inside of him.

He didn’t stop her from sitting next to him, but the silence was uncomfortable.

A part of him wanted to rage - to demand answers, but even he knew that the situation was delicate. He never blamed her for the hardships of his life, no, and he knew that’s where most of her guilt came from. But the one question he never received answers for, the one that still made it difficult to look her in the eye, was why did she leave?

Why did she try so hard and sacrifice so much in order to support him in his early years if she was only going to abandon him later?

Did he even matter to her?

She let out a sigh, realizing that he had no intention of speaking with her. “I know there’s a lot I need to make up for,” she began, hesitating slightly as she twisted a handkerchief in her hands, “and I understand if you never forgive me, but I would like a chance to at least be here for you now, to support you in your career like I should have.” Her eyes began to water so she quickly dabbed them with the distressed handkerchief. “I won’t ask for anything else.”

The remainder of the trip home was silent. Yuri didn’t know how he felt about it, but as long as his mother didn’t distract him he would let her do whatever she wants.

But deep down, beyond the pain and anger, he felt a slight pang of nostalgia.

He had missed his mom.

Living with Nikolai - Moscow, Russia

Living with his grandpa started out great. He and his grandpa had always been close and the homemade pirozhki was a huge bonus. Winters were still harsh and the house was falling apart since his grandpa wasn’t exactly well off either, having been one of the victims of losing his job at the fall of the union, but he had enough for them to get by at least.

The hard part wasn’t living with grandpa…the hard part was watching his mother slowly wither away; overhearing the arguments his mother would get in with grandpa over her drinking, the angry voices and the shattering of liquor bottles as grandpa tried to convince her to get help and quit.

He pretended every morning that he didn’t hear a thing, but he knew grandpa saw through his facade. Grandpa always tried to make it up to him by getting him out of the house, usually to spend extra time at the skating rink, just so he didn’t have to watch his mother drink herself stupid or deal with the silence of her absence when she disappeared to who-knows-where.

He pretended he didn’t care. So what if his mom never showed up to watch him skate, to see him be chosen to participate in skating competitions and shows because he was getting better and better? So what if the house was now full of arguments and emotional breakdowns every other night?

He didn’t care.

He didn’t.

He kept skating with a single-minded focus. He would hear on the radio of Victor Nikiforov quickly becoming Russia’s living legend and he could feel the burn of determination, the desire to be the best skater of them all. He was only ten years old and he was already able to do jumps that kids in juniors were still struggling with and his spins were the best in his entire age group.

He would prove that he was strong.

He would.

As long as grandpa was able to show up to his competitions, he didn’t care if his mother never supported him.

The day his life changed forever was the day he was in a local competition at a small rink in Moscow. He had to take the bus - his grandpa complaining of back pains and his mother was too inebriated to drive - but he made it just on time. He didn’t have a fancy costume and his skates were in need of repair, but none of the other kids could top his skill, his flexibility, his choreography. He worked until his feet were bruised and bleeding and it was all worth it to have that golden medal placed around his neck.

As he stepped off the ice, he frantically looked for grandpa. Despite his back trouble, he promised he’d be there.

But he wasn’t.

It felt like his entire chest had caved in, crushed by the absence of the man he wanted to make proud. The excitement over his win was gone in an instant. He fought back tears, still continuing to look around to see if maybe, just maybe, he had missed his grandpa sitting farther away or...something…

An elderly man began to approach him, and for a brief moment he allowed himself to hope, but the old man wasn’t grandpa. His skin was tanned and he had significantly less hair on the top of his head. He didn’t walk with a limp and the square of his jaw was harsher, his eyes calculating.

The man held out his right arm to shake his hand. “Congratulations on gold, Yuri Plisetsky. My name is Yakov Feltsman.”

Rostelecom Cup - Moscow, Russia

Yuri tried to get through Agape, but the absence of grandpa left a sour taste in his mouth. His vision blurred and all he could feel was simmering contempt, not the lightness of the all-encompassing love he was supposed to demonstrate in the short program.

Victor and Yuuri yelling their support from the sidelines only enraged him further. He didn’t need them. It’s not like they meant it anyway.

No one ever did.

Yakov and Lilia tried to keep him grounded, but his focus was lost. He got through the skate with little to no error, but he knew he would have to over-perform in his free if he wanted to win and rub his victory in JJ’s smug face.

And when Victor had to suddenly return to Japan, leaving Katsudon to compete by himself...he felt pity.

It was strange feeling empathy towards the pig, but he knew the feeling of abandonment and he knew it well. Even though Victor’s absence was temporary, having a loved one leave in the middle of something that’s important to you always left a gaping hole behind. During practice the morning before the free skate, Yuuri was flubbing his jumps more so than usual.

He pretended he didn’t care.

...but he did.

Later on, Grandpa made up his absence to him with an entire bag of pirozhki. Grandpa was his inspiration for his Agape for this reason because even though he had disappointed him just as much as his mother did, he at least tried. He didn’t make excuses, he didn’t give senseless apologies and self-depreciating anecdotes. He just showed up once his back healed with a pile of pirozhki or some words of encouragement. Grandpa never doubted him, never underestimated his strength. He had faith that Yuri could overcome any obstacle and it was a relieving to have someone who didn’t dance around his emotions like he was a child.

The gift also gave him an idea to help cheer Katsudon up...just this once.

The free skate was hell, his whole body burning with exhaustion. He felt a searing pain in his right thigh that had him worried of a pulled muscle and a twitch in his left hip that made his entire leg shake, but he pulled it off and managed to make it into first with only JJ and Katsudon left. He was proud, and the smile on his grandpa’s face made him even more excited, and for once he felt confident enough to cheer Katsudon on…

JJ’s comment made him pause. So what if he low-key considered Katsudon a friend? At least he wasn’t as bad as Victor. Katsudon’s skate was still beautiful, despite his inconsistencies with the quad flip. He would never admit it to anyone, but if the pig had anything it was his step sequences and overall emotion in his choreography.

He tried to ignore it, to save face in front of JJ, but it was difficult to tear his eyes away.

Huh…

Katsudon and Victor really do love each other.

Living alone - St. Petersburg, Russia

The government sponsorship was a dream come true. He had been scouted as a potential candidate for the 2016 Winter Youth Olympics to represent Russia, and with it all came his own apartment in St. Petersburg and a coaching contract with the Yakov Feltsman.

The only contingent was that he must win most of his competitions. Yuri was just fine with that.

The summer after his first gold medal was spent in Yakov’s junior training camp. He had never taken formal ballet lessons before and yet he was still one of the best in the class - whispers of him being the next Victor Nikiforov began circling due to his natural talent. He took the praise, but he never lost sight of what was important.

Grandpa was unable to move to St. Petersburg, his health as well as his livelihood in Moscow preventing him, but his mother tagged along and for the first time in years he felt excited. It would be just like old times with her - only this time they had enough and she wouldn’t have to drink away her sorrows. They could start living the good life if Yuri continued to skate well and he knew he would. He was dominating in beginner competitions and he would be able to skate at the junior level in two years, the Youth Olympics in four, and seniors in five. The private sponsorships would start rolling in and he’d be set.

His mom wouldn’t have to worry about anything from now on. She had exhausted herself to be there for him, now it was his turn to take care of her.

...or so he thought.

He almost couldn’t believe it, but his mother actually drank more. There was never a time that she wasn’t drinking, even when she was sick and hungover. Yuri would leave early in the morning and his mother would be on the balcony, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of liquor in the other. He would come home for lunch most days just to try and spend some time with her, but she would be gone...no note, no explanation, and she wouldn’t return until late in the evening.

It wasn’t until he was a little older that he realized the reason she always wore long sleeves wasn’t because she was cold. She kept it well hidden and out of his apartment, but it soon became obvious that alcohol was no longer her only vice.

The parts that hurt the most were the few times he did manage to run into her. She would avoid eye contact, keep her answers short, and he could see the shame in her body language yet she did nothing about it. The dark circles under her eyes were a permanent fixture, she was too thin, and she was always scratching at the marks down her arms. They would fight, yell and scream at each other similar to the way she did with grandpa, but he wasn’t patient like grandpa was.

It was always “I don't need therapy, Yura” or “It's nothing Yura, don't worry about me” until his temper would hit a breaking point. She'd make excuses, disregard how much damage she was doing to her body, the damage she was doing to him every time she left. She would cry and moan of how she was a terrible mother as if to make him feel sorry for her, to make him pity and put up with her self destruction all so she didn't have to take responsibility for her own actions.

Things were finally improving for them, why couldn’t she just try? Why would she actively work toward destroying everything they worked for? He was willing to take care of her, to give her the time to recover until she could go back to teaching dance again. None of it made sense to him and it made him inexplicably angry.

Why couldn’t she at least be happy for him? He had accomplished so much in a short amount of time and not once did she ever say that she was proud of him. In fact, with his success, she only seemed to become more disappointed, more distant…

The image of his mother became tarnished and their relationship strained. The last thing he heard from her before she disappeared was a handwritten note left on his coffee table.

I’m sorry.

Grand Prix Final - Barcelona, Spain

Yuri Plisetsky had the unforgettable eyes of a soldier.

The words echoed back at him at he lay in his hotel bed. Meeting Otabek was an interesting experience, considering he never had a friend around his age. Growing up, he was mostly ignored as he had a “bad attitude” - and later, he focused more on skating rather than socializing. It felt nice to finally find someone who took him seriously and genuinely wanted to be his friend.

Yet he also felt hesitation. He never talked to Otabek before and yet Otabek was able to see the parts of him that he usually kept guarded.

The vulnerability was scary.

Was that what he had been missing? He had loved ones that he kept close, but he never allowed himself to be vulnerable with them. With his mom, he put on a brave face for her so that she wouldn’t stress out more. With grandpa, he hid his disappointment because he knew it wasn’t his grandpa’s fault that his health was declining. Even with Victor and Yuuri, who he was close to regardless of his annoyance with them, he refused to show them the parts of himself he’d rather keep hidden. Victor had a habit of making light of the situation by teasing him, which made him even more hesitant to share. Katsudon was a bit better, listening without making the situation awkward or giving him unnecessary advice and pity, but he still struggled separating Katsudon from Victor that getting close to him felt awkward.

The engagement announcement still made him sick. Who got engaged so early in a relationship? 

Those two were too sentimental, too hopeful…

Too lonely.

That’s the thought he had as he found Victor staring out at the sea the next morning. The sight of Victor’s defeated expression caught him off guard. His first instinct was to wipe that pathetic look off of Victor’s face so he kicked him until it disappeared.

Yuri didn’t pretend that he didn’t understand. Victor had been the top skater for Russia for longer than most people were in the sport. Dedicating your life to your craft always made it hard to make friends, spend time with family, process trauma...he turned and walked away quickly so Victor couldn’t see his momentary flash of empathy. He might understand, but it's no excuse to just give it up - to throw it all away.

Maybe what they all needed was balance.

“The ocean here reminds me of Hasetsu,” he commented dryly, giving voice to at least some of his thoughts. Victor smiled in response and something clicked into place.

Russia was no longer home for Victor. Victor found something in Hasetsu, in Yuuri, that gave him a sense of peace that skating never could.

Yuri walked away feeling more at war with himself. The last twenty-four hours gave him too much to process.

Living with mom was full of love, but there were too many empty promises and stress was always high. Living with grandpa was full of pirozhki and quality time with his family, but also full of anger and disappointment. Living on his own wasn’t what he had hoped, full of resentment and loneliness from his mother’s abandonment. Living with Yakov and Lilia was an experience, but it was purely professional and reeked of a broken home with their strained relationship from the divorce. He briefly thought of Yutopia Katsuki and Ice Castle, and while he didn’t consider Hasetsu a home he did feel more at ease around Katsudon’s friends and family - but being forgotten by Victor and his loss against Katsudon made his visit bitter.

The more Yuri thought about it, the more he wondered…

Where did he belong?

He carried the question with him as he prepared for the short program. He felt calm as he thought about everything, ignoring the skaters before him. He knew his grandpa was watching the live stream, as well as his mother who was living with grandpa again, and the Katsuki’s were having a viewing party according to Yuuko’s texts. He had the support of so many people, even his own competitors, and he thought of them all as he finally stepped out onto the ice.

His mind was blank, nothing but his feelings - the good, the bad, the old, the new - for his loved ones. 

For three and a half minutes, he finally felt like he was home. 

[thedreaminus]

Exchanged Roles

ff.net | A03

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

As predicted by Raizel, M-21 slept peacefully in his tank. Sometimes, when M-24 spoke to him, he started to smile. Anyway, M-24 felt that way. Everyone else described it as more of a smirk. So M-24 got used to talking to his old comrade. According to Raizel, M-21 heard his voice and it reassured him, though he could not understand words.

Oddly enough, Tao picked up his habit and it was not long before M-24 caught him sitting in his camping chair next to M-21's tank, chatting cheerfully about an application-independent Card Terminal Application Programming Interface for smart card applications. The name alone was enough to cause headaches in M-24. Technical innovations were practical, but there were limits to his personal interests.

M-24 wanted to pull Tao away from the tank at first, but then changed his mind. M-21 was sleeping and would not understand Tao's words anyway. He concluded that Tao's verbiage has not resulted in any unbearable headache. But M-21 would hear his voice. Perhaps it would be something like a first step that would help M-21 get used to the people he would live with under one roof from now on.

Since M-21 - according Frankenstein - was making good progress and yet he would be sleeping in the tank for a few weeks, M-24 was much occupied. As previously mentioned, they had given up their original plan to train on an island because M-21's condition required constant monitoring. Now instead of being hounded on bare earth by Frankenstein, they were being hounded within four walls. This increased the panic factor even more.

-.-.-.-

Frankenstein leafed through M-21 test results. Judging by his expression, the man was pleased with what he saw. He muttered to himself and nodded here and there once. Then he suddenly turned around and caught sight of Regis.

The young Nobles could not prevent his flinch. Frankenstein wore the grin on his face. The grin that tells every enemy with a touch of intelligence and the will to survive that he only had a few seconds left to breathe.

"Regis, I have to talk to Gajutel."

Regis initial, ill-concealed fear shifted to the unexplained confusion that everyone felt at these words. Everyone except Raizel. The Noblesse exchanged a long look with his Bonded and then nodded venerably.

-.-.-.-

Calling a clan leader turned out to be a stroke of luck in retrospect. They were attacked, at two points at the same time. The Union came to the KSK with a plan and set about destroying their environment piece by piece. With that, they probably intended to elicit the rebels of their last problems. They succeeded very well, but the Union had probably expected less with Raizel, Frankenstein and three clan leaders.

At the same time, Crombel took advantage of the distraction, sending his lackeys around the school to take the children as hostage. M-24 and his comrades went to the school and none of them were there to protect the house. Despite all her security precautions, Crombel had managed to track them down to M-21.

When Yuri mocked them, they all got ice cold. The enemy in their home? The place that was so important, to not only Raizel but also Tao, Takeo and M-24 . A sanctuary that gave them the security they needed so much.

Yuri enjoyed the obvious horror, because it spurred him on to another sentence that particularly hit M-24 hard: "Crombel just wants what belongs to him." the greasy man bowed awkwardly to M-24, "I hope that your partner has recovered well? He will need it." The sentence made Yuri laugh until the moment Rael appeared. M-24 left the young Noble the responsibility and took the moment to rush home.

-.-.-.-

Rael had helped them to take the children to the lab, but something seemed to have gone wrong at home. M-24 had intercepted and sent them to the replacement lab, one floor down. But now the children were supplied. Raizel, Boss and the other Nobles had returned. Now it was time to see after M-24 and of course, after M-21.

"M-24?!" Tao slipped around the corner. He had only a short time to catch a glimpse of the blood on the ground and M-24 who stood in front of M-21, before Frankenstein had gotten to them and pulled Tao behind him. There was an eerie silence in the room. Scary enough that Tao shut up and voluntarily backed away to the wall.

The laboratory was partially destroyed. The tank was shattered and its contents leaked to the ground. Not far away from the tank, a motionless body laid stained with blood. Most of all, however, M-21 mesmerized him. The man stood diagonally to them. His body also showed traces of blood. However, Tao could not detect any injuries from his current position.

Opposite him, M-24 was standing and speaking reassuringly to his old partner but there was no indication that he heard him. M-21 just stood there, letting his arms hang down his head. The now really long gray hair covered his whole face. A hose was still hanging from his arm.

"Tao, leave."

The Boss's voice sounded strangely loud even though he had spoken very quietly. Tao blinked and was about to retreat discreetly when M-21 turned his head and looked at him. In his eyes, a white-blue fire seemed to glow, strange stripes ran across his cheeks, and as M-21 raised his lip a little, one could clearly see the impressive fangs.

"I'm already gone." squeaked Tao.

-.-.-.-

M-21 was sleeping again. M-24 had come to the lab with him in his arms, and laid him on one of the free couches. It turned out he had been injured, but his wounds were already healed. The body in the lab was one of Crombel's henchmen. He had tried to steal Frankenstein's data, which had turned up after a brief search in the clothes.

From what they suspected, the agent had broken into the lab and ravaged it trying to steal the data. Then he had tried to take M-21 and died. Pretty fast. M-21 had ripped his throat out.

"Frankenstein," noticed Gejutel after he had patterned the sleeping M-21 in detail and listened to what Tao had told his comrades about his strange behavior, "Now every race is represented."

Frankenstein sighed. The older Nobles raised an eyebrow. "Are you not pleased with this? This must spur your curiosity "

"Shut up Gejutel"

-.-.-.-

M-24 tried to focus on his reading. The mood in the house was generally depressed. The incident between Rai and the Union-Elder, the abduction and poisoning of the children, the damaged school and last but not the least, Crombel's attempt to kidnap M-21 again. The big man gave a long stretched sigh. Since he had started to get stronger, he had become more and more emphatic. That's why he knew exactly when Rai, Frankenstein or someone else was not feeling well.

It was hard to shake off so many negative emotions and focus on the positive aspects of their lives.

A movement at his side tore him out of his thoughts.

M-21 had turned around. M-24 could now see his face and immediately reached out his hand to pacify him, patting his head as he had always done before.

M-21 was now stable enough to rest outside the tank. Nevertheless, M-24 could not lose the feeling that Frankenstein didn't want to risk losing another tank to M-21. To be fair, the last one was probably more on Crombel's agent.

M-21 growled softly like a furious dog. A very small, angry dog. His energy wavered and trembled before it slowly withdrew. M-24 precautionarily left his hand where it was and spoke in a low voice to his comrades until he was sleeping calmly again.

This energy, it was completely unknown to him. Why? By now he had experienced a broad segment of auras and energy from Nobles, humans, and modified humans for comparison. Why did M-21 not fit into any of these patterns? And why was it impossible for him to read his mood?

To face his old comrade, while he was completely out of his mind without even knowing what was going on with him, is not a pleasant experience. Raizel had calmed him down and Frankenstein later praised his gentle attending to M-21, trying to reassure him. According to the two, M-21 had been able to hear him and recognize him.  That is why he had not attacked Tao or rest of the household.

He should be able to be satisfied with that. Although he would have preferred to contact M-21 on an emotional level. M-21's inexplicable behavior had made M-24 restless. It was like seeing M-21 through a thick wall of ice. Just a schematic of a living being, of the person who was like a little brother. Was it because of what Crombel had done? Had he lost that soulful connection with his comrade now?

M-24 prayed that M-21 would be normal when he awakes.

-.-.-.-

As if he reappeared from deep waters. Almost reluctantly. His mind was drowsy and he would love to cuddle up in the pleasant warmth and continue his sleep. M-21 moaned softly. Not out of pain, but more in protest. He hid his face again in the strange, soft thing that smelled so pleasant to protect his eyes from the annoying brightness.

Next to him, someone chuckled, amused. As M-21 made preparations to pull the fabric over his head, which was probably his blanket, the chuckle turned into soft laughter. It was annoying and he immediately knew what would follow. As if to confirm, someone knocked him gently on the head. When it did not work, he nudged his forehead and then tugged at his ear.

"Stop ..." M-21 muttered, half-heartedly waving his hand in the direction of where the hand came from.

"Realy, I am glad that you feel better."

"M-24 ..." he opened his eyes. No cheap hotel or any abandoned building where they sought shelter. Instead, a clean little room with large windows, from which light fell directly onto the bed. Directly above his head, on the wall, hung a calendar with a giant puppy image. Puppies ...

He blinked hard.

His comrade leaned over him, blocking his view of the puppy calendar.

"M-21? Something wrong?"

"Puppies ... there were dogs."

"Yes, I got the calendar from Sui."

From whom? M-21's thoughts started to work. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling. "We ... we are not in the Union anymore, are we?"

"No," M-24 shook his head, "It's been several weeks since we freed you from Crombel."

M-21 shuddered and tensed involuntarily. Now that it was mentioned, he remembered what had happened. What Crombel had done to him. The man had been so fascinated by his claws. After he was finished with him, they only vaguely resembled his initially transformed nails. He had developed into something monstrous under Crombel's hands. So many experiments, operations and concoctions until he was unable to remember. The pain and the feeling of being completely leached were all that was left behind.

He had turned into a beast at the push of a button, with no control and no way to defend himself or even remember. The collar ... his voice. M-21 reached for his neck, wincing in surprise as his fingers touched smooth, warm skin.

It was gone. The damned thing was gone.

M-21 knew that the experience should really affect him a lot more. He should not just lie here in a strange bed and feel so safe.

A touch on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. M-24 frowned and squeezed carefully, as if to confirm that he was there. They stayed like this for some time. Until the moment M-24 began to recite what had happened to him after M-21 went to get his medication, but did not return. And M-21 just listened to him.

-.-.-.-

At the same time, the rest of the household was sitting in the living room, drinking tea and busying themselves with the little things that needed to be done. For example thinking about repairing the school as soon as possible. To their credit, the modified people tried not to break out into sweat that often when the Nobles had a strange conversation among themselves or when Frankenstein decided to revive his old friendship with Regis's grandfather.

At some point during this evening, Tao stopped in the middle of his mind braining for the school and looked over at Takeo. The sniper seemed to be lost in thought and Tao had to wave his hand in front of his face to grab his attention.

"It's too easy," said Takeo, readily and unsolicited. His eyes flicked over to Tao.

"You mean M-21?"

"All the trouble, traps and manipulation by Crombel. Now M-21 is here talking to M-24. Just like that…" Takeo struggled for words "I'm worried. What if M-21 is a bait? What if he was manipulated?"

They exchanged a look. This theory was not that unlikely. Crombel had been trying to fool M-24 in the past. The thought that he used M-21 to finally reach his goal was not at all outlandish. If that was the case, then M-21 was an enemy moving in their midst.

"Maybe we are judging too fast," Takeo ran his long hair and sighed. "After all, we do not know anything." It was obviously unpleasant for him to judge a person he seemed to know so well. Of course, they only knew M-24 stories and yet there was such a comradely feeling for M-21. Strong enough to make them talk to him even when he slept.

"I know someone who can tell us more ... Boss!" Tao turned to Frankenstein with a beaming smile. Like an entertainer greeting a new star guest on his show. Frankenstein smashed Tao's beaming smile with the more practiced ease of a man who was used to throwing people to the ground.

"M-21's condition is privy to only him and M-24."

Tao's grin faded and he shrank beneath Frankenstein's gaze. "But M-24 ..."

"We are worried," Takeo objected carefully. "What if M-21 was manipulated by Crombel?"

"He was."

“And that's why we need to know ... wait, he was?"

Frankenstein sighed and put his hands on each other. "Crombel's experiments have damaged M-21's memory: short-term memory, and more. He drove his body to autonomously erase neuronal connections in the brain to make it easier to manipulate him."

They sat there petrified. No memories, or even more dangerous: memories that were scattered. This meant no security and therefore no trust.

Tao knew about the Union, and partly through M-24's statements he had understood  that it was common practice in the Union to erase the memories of lower level test subjects. Not only to make them docile, but to avoid any permanent mental damage in promising experiments that may arise due their harrowing experiences. Even modified humans had limits as far as pain tolerance and permanent burden on the psyche went.

Now the autonomous capping of neuronal connections ultimately may only mean that M-21 unconsciously repressed probably a good part of his memories to protect himself. Sure, Takeo and he did the same. The only question was to what extent M-21 did and how much Crombel had his game with him.

Frankenstein looked at them thoughtfully. "Well, that's probably the most serious question. Even if we suspect that it only concerns the events of recent months."

"Then ... then why? If M-21 remembers M-24 and trusts him, what did Crombel want to use it for?"

"Oh, I am sure that this man actually have something else in mind," strangely, Frankenstein smirked. "He is a bungler. At first he tried to make M-21 stronger, where he suceeded only  halfway. However, in an unfortunate way and very crudely." Raizel sighed loudly at this sentence and the ensuing mockery in his voice, but somehow did not feel compelled to intervene. The remaining Nobles successfully gave the impression of sheer dislike.

Frankenstein continued, "Then he tried to wipe out his memories to make him docile. Here comes the point where the order is wrong. M-21 has changed too much for Crombel's understanding. His brain, its nerve cells, bones, almost everything has become flexible. In every attempt to manipulate his memory, the brain formed new neuronal connections."

"Uh ..." Tao snapped his fingers. "As an algorithm? Is there something like that?"

"It's a little more complicated than that." Frankenstein picked up his cup and looked thoughtfully into it. "Crombel could not control M-21's memories, but his experiments triggered a nasty effect, which he then used along with this ... collar for his purposes."

"The band is destroyed." Takeo had seen Boss melt it down. With too much sadistic joy on his face.

"It was primarily used to administer M-21 drugs that drove him down." Frankenstein cleared his throat. "You saw what happens when he's upset?"

"You mean the matter with Crombel's agent in the lab?" M-21 did not necessarily made a friendly impression back then. But nothing else happened ... or? He had not even touched his comrade. Frankenstein hovered between sincerity and curiosity as he waved the contents of his cup.

"I'm curious about how he'll develop."

"Frankenstein."

"Excuse me Master, I should not be so concerned about a patient."

Well, that was less insightful than they had hoped. While they watched Frankenstein anxiously - with a lot of gaping, because he giggled too strangely - the RK team silently wondered if they should be worried about M-24 and M-21 or not.

Note: If you are reading this I am on vacation! *eat some exotic fruit* Well, we are slowly getting closer to the end of this AU *ahhh* I am happy about that too. There are four different versions of the third chapter. I was really scared to never get it ready ^^

[shysweetthing]

I’m trying to go back to studying Japanese but right now there are no open courses where I leave. Are you studying on your own? If so and if you don’t mind me asking, what tools are you using to help you study? Thank you! Best of luck with your Japanese. P. S. Sorry for my English. It’s my third language.

I have to travel enough for business related stuff that I would miss a lot of time out of most courses, so that wasn’t an option for me. I also hate people, so that’s another negative.

Keep in mind that I’m still a relative beginner, and that means I’ve tried some things that just don’t work for my learning style, and/or may find out that something I’m spending time on now is suboptimal.

That being said, here are the resources I’ve found most helpful:

(1) Japanese Pod 101, especially the course track where Naomi is the main lecturer, although I’ve pretty much listened to the entire ouevre in order. That being said, there is a big jump between the beginner and the intermediate levels, and since I finished the beginner podcasts a while back I’ve been floundering a bit trying to find something that pushes me just enough while still maintaining a foothold that allows me to understand what’s being said.

(2) The Japanese Graded Reader set by White Rabbit Press.

(3) I got a basic text book when I first started, but ultimately, found it...not great for my personal style of learning, and abandoned doing the lessons. I really appreciate Tae Kim’s guide to Learning Japanese though.

(4) Dogen’s ongoing course on Japanese phonetics. Right now I don’t know that there’s any way to access these except to pledge to his Patreon, but I’ve found it to be incredibly worthwhile.

(5) An Anki vocabulary deck. This also has me learning Kanji, which some people say not to bother with at this stage in the process... but it gives me something to write out, and having a physical pattern to attach to a word really makes it stick in my head. So. Kanji.

(6) Uh this is not helpful for you at all but I made myself a self-generating flash-card app that generates proper conjugation of verbs/adjectives along with proper pitch accent for that conjugation and sorry it’s super hacked together and not really shareable.

(7) Ultimately, nothing beats exposure. The whole point of doing (1)-(4) is to then take every tool I have and use it while listening to actual Japanese.

So mostly my day looks like—listening to podcasts while driving and walking, Anki vocabulary in (spaced) 6 or so 10-minute increments between work, conjugation flashcards while waiting in lines or making dinner, an hour of watching something new, another hour of my ongoing Yuri on Ice watching project (which involves me going through and trying to figure out, sentence by sentence, what they’re actually saying, adding unfamiliar vocabulary to my vocab list, figuring out the relevant grammar points, writing this down, checking against what I can find online, going through my prior stuff and listening to YoI while reading the actual result, taking individual sentences and/or phrases and attempting to internalize the grammar by modifying them to say other completely different things, and along those lines I would KILL for Japanese subtitles of YoI), and then about half an hour of reading before bed.

[betateens]

5 Recent Games Filled to the Brim With Style

4/27/18

by Edward Green

Gravity Rush 2 (PS4): This sequel to the cult Vita title delivers on just about every level a sequel should, including the visuals. You play as the lovable “gravity shifter,” Kat as she flies around the city on a quest to save the world and rediscover her past. From the moment you start the game, you're greeted to one of the game’s many color rift planes along with the comic inspired cutscenes. French and Belgian comics along with anime inspire aspects of the art style, both in-game and out. The floating islands make the architecture stand out a lot, with plenty of different areas to explore. Buildings you fly past or stand on all feel authentic in how they are constructed, making the world feel more alive besides the NPCs walking about. This makes the game’s online treasure hunts (which are only up until July) a lot of fun as you guess what part of a building someone is using for a hint picture. Among all this, the game has a very cel-shaded look to it like the first game. Couple that with some stellar character designs, excellent use of color, a blissful orchestral soundtrack and being one of the few games to convey the action of falling almost realistically and you have one of the most stylish games from 2017. At the now decreased price of $20, this is not a game to be missed by any PS4 owner. Gravity Rush Remastered is also a must if you want to get into the story as best as possible.

Cuphead (PC/ XB1): From the newly formed Studio MDHR comes a game more than a decade in the making purely because of its choice in style. From the backgrounds and attacks to the enemies and effects, Cuphead is a game made to emulate the traditional animation used during the Fleischer Era. Each background is made from watercolor paintings with the characters animated frame by frame with traditional, hand-drawn animation. Such a feat hasn't been done on this level before with a game (though, the game Skullgirls uses a similar technique but not to the same extent). While the game play itself is inspired by old school run-n-gun games, the visuals alone are enough to keep anyone engaged despite the game’s unforgiving difficulty. The meat of the game is its boss fights, which all are full of personality. From how each of them move, you can tell a lot about them without any exposition or drawn out story. At a silky smooth 60 frames per second, the game never feels too off in both style and gameplay. It's one of the few games to truly feel like a playable cartoon due to the level of expertise of pulling off the convincing look of old-school cartoons while also remaining a fun game.

ARMS (Switch): One of the reasons that fighting games is one of my favorite genres of video games is due to them being great showcases of characters and attention to detail in visuals. Nintendo’s extendable arm fighting game is one of the greatest examples, along with just straight up being a joy to play. Each character is designed with the idea of them being able to extend their arms for a sort of boxing match against each other. This leads to some designs including springs, ribbons, snakes, noodles and of course a mummy. The whole cast is colorful and full of life, with their own abilities that make them stand out from one another. Along with a decently sized cast of characters, there is a great amount of arms to choose from when fighting either online or locally. Some arms curve while others fire projectiles or inflict status effects. It all adds levels of customization to play however you choose. In an update added not too long ago, an art gallery section was put into the game that allows you to use coins to purchase all kinds of official drawings for your viewing pleasure. All in all I'd say ARMS is a game that drew me in with its visuals at first and still has me hooked through that and it's unique gameplay.

Persona 5 (PS4/ PS3): Out of every game I’ve played recently, this is one of the few to truly wow me from purely visual flair at just about every turn. Everything from the battle transitions and menus strikes the eyes in a way not too many Japanese RPGs do. In the game, you play the role of the Phantom Thieves who use their “personas” to fight monsters within the hearts of corrupted souls. It’s got a lot of charm from the characters, visuals, music and good ol’ turn based gameplay. The gameplay is presented in an anime style, which you can quickly tell from the traditionally animated opening directed by Sayo Yamamoto (director of Yuri on Ice and Michiko & Hatchin). Like Gravity Rush, the game has a very cel-shady style along with 2D character portraits for dialogue to add an extra touch of personality. Along with that, gameplay itself is very seamless. There’s next to no loading screens outside of when you first boot up the game from a save and between certain segments. Presentation is key in this game, as it lasts around 90 or 100 hours to get through. Battles and just general walking around the city and dungeons is all an excellent eye catch, backing up a story that is sure to keep many engaged. There’s not much else I can say about the game’s visual style other than to just see it in action for yourself.

Nier Automata (PS4/ PC): To end on a more realistic note, there is NieR Automata. While I don’t exactly want to spoil the story, I can say it’s about androids helping to protect a post-apocalyptic Earth. It’s a game that you have to play through multiple times with different kinds of playthroughs that are better to go into blind. NieR Automata presents a more tranquil and peaceful post-apocalypse rather than one full of disdain and chaos. Humanity has broken down, so with that comes cities full of vegetation and robots who roam the wasteland. Music adds to the mood of the several locales within the game, with varying usage of instruments and vocals. From broken down cities to a desert to an abandoned amusement park, there’s scenery to behold all around. It makes the game more appealing when along with new things happening in the plot, you get to explore a new area and just take it in. Despite there not being too much to do in the world outside of side quests and the obligatory main quests, the world of NieR Automata is one that can still manage to keep one hooked through its many endings. Along with pretty environments, the character design is also exciting. Most robot enemies you face in the game are adorable yet menacing when they take you out in only a few hits. Overall, the often muted and bleak NieR Automata is a delight with its style.

[dreaminglesbian]

So this is the end of the year meme I’ve been doing since ‘10! I’ve been doing it on LJ tho, but since I never go on there anymore I have been bringing it to tumblr!

I am tagging all my followers and friends to do this! Cause I always have a lot of fun doing this! 

END OF THE YEAR FANDOM MEME 2017!

Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely Shadowhunters! I was watching other shows and movies (obviously) but I wouldn’t say I was really part of other fandoms. I was super into fashion models and style this year but I wouldn’t say I was apart of any fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

I enjoyed a lot of Marvel movies this year. I always love, love, love Thor so I was happy to see Thor: Ragnarok! I also loved Spider-Man: Homecoming, it was so cute! I also loved The Lego Batman Movie, Coco and Beauty and the Beast. I would say I really, really love all these movies. 

I also watched a lot of indie gay films this year and I really enjoyed a lot of them. I don’t think any of them were the highlights of 2017 for me though.

Your favourite book read this year?

(I actually read more than usual this year, yay!)

I loved Boy Erased: A Memoir! It was very intense but it really sticks with you. I really learned a lot and I would love to read more by this author. I also loved Call me by Your Name! It was so beautifully written and I recommend reading it in the summer time. I loved Crazy Rich Asians, I think it deserves to be mentioned as one of the standout novels in the romantic fiction genre (along with Bridget Jones and Shopaholic, that’s high praise from me lol!). Also super loved The Miseducation of Cameron Post and I also loved volume one of the Captive Prince. I’m so happy I read so many books I enjoyed this year, I read more I could mention but these were the highlights for me.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?

Oh man, it feels like a lot of music came out this year, especially as a One Direction fan. Obviously honorable mentions that all five guys of 1D had music out this year so that’s exciting. I wouldn’t really say any of their music was my FAVE this year but I enjoyed all of it.

Favourite album is probably Taylor Swift’s Reputation album, that’s an obvious answer from me lol.  

I really liked all the slow jams Ed Sheeran did, I liked all the songs Selena Gomez put out. I really like the song ‘I Like me Better’ by Lauv! I liked the Coco soundtrack and the songs from Lego Batman lol. I realized I enjoy a lot of songs by Charlie Puth. I really liked listening to ‘Say You Love Me’ by Jessie Ware and ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping at Last. I also listened to the Book of Mormon soundtrack a lot this year. I also loved ‘Whistle’ by Black Pink! I also loved the songs Fifth Harmony put out this year (I will say I am disappointed in a lot of their live performances lately though)

Also shout out to Thief by Ansel Elgort for just existing lol.

Your favourite TV shows of the year?

Shadowhunters, lol! I just can’t get enough of that show! I enjoy Shadowhunters as a cheesy fantasy teen show but this year it was actually genuinely good. What a strange thing for a big fan to say lol.

Obviously as a Trek fan, Star Trek Discovery as well! That’s really exciting for a new Trek fan like me who never got to watch a weekly Star Trek show as it aired. It feels like a big blessing to have new Trek every week. 

I loved the Bold Type, ughhhh super super love that one. I also zoomed through The L Word this year. It’s not perfect (at all) but having six seasons of lesbian content is very nice. Also loved Wynonna Earp, as a Canadian lesbian sci-fi fan one couldn’t ask for a more fitting show lol!

I also really love watching Difficult People, SKAM (!!! I super loved SKAM !!!), RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Shannara Chronicles! I also am really enjoying Runaways and The Good Place. 

Your best new TV discovery of the year?

Definitely Star Trek Discovery. Also pretty much all the shows I just mentioned, a lot of them were new (to me at least) this year. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

I actually was like genuinely disappointed by the people of fandom this year sometimes more than the shows. Lemme start off, it is really nice not being in a fandom dedicated to real people (One Direction), even though I miss One Direction EVERYDAY. It’s nice to be upset with fictional characters lol.

First off obviously Dominic Sherwood using the F slur on the Matt Daddario official Shadowhunters livestream. My mind honestly goes back and fourth from being furious about how the show handled it, how Matt reacted and that it happened. Another part of me thinks maybe the show handled it okay and Matt’s reaction was fine. I’m honestly not sure but I really hate that it happened. I’m not super in the Shadowhunters fandom but I dabble in it sometimes and I really enjoy how undramatic this show is for me. Apart of me is like ‘Karma’s got it’s kiss for me’ and ‘we live, baby’ @ Dominic Sherwood LOL! Another part of me is like if I had never heard him say that everything would be peaceful.

The people in Shadowhunters fandom were in a big divide over this. Some were furious like I was and wanted this show that is so much for the LGBT community to show some action. While other fans who weren’t mad thought the fans who were angry were being babies. I think to see a show that is so much for gay fans to also have so many fans who are okay with this behaviour is a huge disappointment. Also how some fans of Magnus/Alec were completely fine with the word.

I noticed in a few fandoms how much straight fans think they are battling their straight ships against the gay ships. Like “ugh we watched all the scenes of the gay ship together, let us have some air time!” which is probably the most baffling thing I’ve heard. 

RIVERDALE. I loved Riverdale season one, LOVED IT. For the second season the HETEROSEXUALITY was in full force. (do you like how I’m mad about the hets when I just complained about it not being a competition? lol) That show is NEXT LEVEL heterosexuality lol. I’m totally okay with Betty/Veronica never being canon and I just ship them as femslash. It’s not very fun though that every time they are together they are talking about their boyfriends. The straight couples on this show are A LOT, like every show has straight characters but this show really rubs me the wrong way. Also the way they handled Kevin and Toni and yet the show thinks they are doing a dandy job with all this “diversity”. ANYWAYS.

I was disappointed in the people in fandom this year for a few reasons. Young fandom (seems to be young people in fandom at least) have different thoughts than I do I guess. They are very quick to claim (this is gonna get WILD fast) pedophilia. Which if we all claim that really quickly it loses the severity of those claims. Young fandom in cartoon fandoms like Yuri!!! On Ice or Voltron do this a lot. Also they are going by American standards of eighteen years old being the age of consent. It’s a messy situation.

Also how quick fandom (usually young fans again) are to claim incest. If two characters are adopted they treat it like incest even though they aren’t blood related. It’s messyyyyyy.

Also how young people in fandom super want characters to commit and get married??? This happens a lot with Magnus/Alec in Shadowhunters. Alec is literally in his first relationship and everyone is like MARRIAGE NOW, which boggles my mind. Honestly I love Magnus and Alec with my ENTIRE LIFE FORCE lol but it would make sense if they broke up for a bit and Alec dated someone else. Cause he’s YOUNG and never been with anyone else! It’s like Tidus in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt when he explains how gay virgins cling and commit fast lol. This is the same with Alex/Maggie from Supergirl which brings me to my next point lol!

Alex and Maggie started off SO good! The show was kind of... confusing with how they handled their relationship I guess. Maggie lied about cheating on her ex girlfriend and also lied about how coming out to her parents went. I love Maggie, I SUPER love Maggie but this stuff is really big to lie about. Alex was very mature and forgave her and then they got ENGAGED? Like Alex literally figured out her sexuality like SEVEN weeks ago and now she is proposing to Maggie? Even after Maggie just lied about things? All the fans were very happy which made me feel like a sour person that I wasn’t happy. 

I was also disappointed in Supergirl for how much of this latest season has been Kara being sad over Mon-el. Like Supergirl is one of the few female lead super hero shows that I don’t want to abandon it but it’s really getting RIDICULOUS with all the relationship talk on that show! I’m really mad at Kara’s character for how she is handling Mon-el. Honestly though ALL the female characters on that show are nonstop failing the Bechdel test and I may have to give it up. 

Also Teen Wolf ending with a whimper, not a bang. Empire having continuity errors and handling sensitive situations poorly. Sense8 being cancelled, Quentin Tarantino apparently directing a Star Trek movie?? Also sometimes I think Harry Shum Jr. and Matt Daddario really need to GO FOR IT when they have romantic scenes together.

OH MAN APPARENTLY A LOT OF DISAPPOINTMENT THIS YEAR LOL

Your TV boyfriend of the year?

(I always count this as fave males of the year lol) Robin from Lego Batman lol! Also Alec, Magnus and Simon from Shadowhunters. Peter Parker from Spiderman: Homecoming, super cute! Thor and Loki from Thor as well.

Your TV girlfriend of the year?

I super loved Maia Roberts/the actress, Alisha Wainwright from this year. Alisha, you can slide into my DMs, I’m ready lol. Also Clary and Izzy along with the actress who play them from Shadowhunters. I also super loved Sofia Boutella this year along with Alicia Vikander. I liked the celebrities Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Dua Lipa, Taylor Hill, Vanessa Morgan,  Ivana Baquero,  Natalie Alyn Lind, Kylie Jenner, Camila Mendes, Poppy Drayton, Lili Reinhart, Madelaine Petsch, and Selena Gomez. Also loved Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Valkyrie from Thor: Ragnarok and Michael from Star Trek: Discovery ! (as well as a lot of others tbh)  

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

TOM HOLLAND ON LIP SYNC BATTLE!!

Moonlight rightfully winning the Academy Award and not LaLa Land! (”As you can see I’m driving through the city having a fucking BLAST, baby!” - Snoop Dogg gif)

Also that I met three people who have worked or know people on Shadowhunters! The perks of being a fan of a show that films in the city you live in! lol

Oh man, probably the flashback episode of Shadowhunters that showcased all the Magnus/Alec scenes! Oh man, I wanted to fall to the FLOOR, I was JAZZED! #Blessed

Also Clary/Izzy had a LOT of good scenes in this season of Shadowhunters so that was awesome! 

Disney’s Descendants 2 really WENT THERE with the femslash for Evie/Mal! That was awesome! Seeing young fans try to say “noooo they are just friends” in the youtube comments on the song ‘Space Between’ was a real fun time lol! Yeah I was super pleased with that.

I went to Fan Expo, as usual, but this year the Star Trek: discovery cast was there as well as a panel on the production of the show. That was really special, especially that I got to go with my Trek friends.

Seeing Thor: Ragnarok and the THOR/LOKI, I was watching their scenes with my hands on my heart lol! 

Stamets and Culber being cuties on Star Trek: Discovery! Also shout out to the Wonder Woman movie. Also how alive Korean Star Trek fandom is lol. I also REALLY enjoyed a lot of fan made content this year like fan videos and fan art!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

One Direction and 2009 Star Trek fandom as usual. It’s crazy looking back on these memes and seeing One Direction joining this section of the questions. I don’t miss aspects of One Direction fandom but I do miss the band (ot5).

The TV you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m excited for Grown-ish!

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

I’M HEADED TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON THIS YEAR!!!

More Star Trek: Discovery and Shadowhunters episodes! Seeing the lesbian plot develop on Runaways. 

I’m excited for Avengers: Infinity War, Black Panther, Ocean’s 8, Pacific Rim Uprising, Maze Runner: The Death Cure, and the next Fantastic Beasts (especially if Ezra Miller’s character lives). My wife, Alicia Vikander in Tomb Raider!!

Also a lot of gay films like Love, Simon and The Miseducation of Cameron Post! I think there will be a lot more to look forward to as the year goes on.

Fave ships of 2017?

Alec/Magnus (Shadowhunters)

Clary/Izzy (Shadowhunters)

Betty/Veronica (Riverdale)

Stamets/Culber (Star Trek: Discovery)

Thor/Loki (Marvel)

(Peter Parker/Any male from The Avengers TBH.......)

There are a few others I shipped this year but I would say these are the highlights. 

Most listened to songs of the year

(This is from my itunes)

1. I Like Me Better - Lauv 

2. Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift

3. End Game - Taylor Swift

4. I Did Something Bad - Taylor Swift

5. Still Falling for You - Ellie Goulding

6. ...Ready For It? - Taylor Swift

7. Delicate -  Taylor Swift

8. Dress - Taylor Swift

9. Space Between - Disney Descendants 2

10. Slumber Party - Britney Spears ft. Tinashe

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

If you read all this you are a saint, bored or a super close friend lol! Thank you, thank you for reading! 

[trustyourpartner]

so a while back i tripped over and then fell in love with @cafecliche‘s yuri on ice fics, and then while i was checking out her tumblr i found out that she co-writes the bridge podcast with @alextriestousetheinternet, and i was like “oceanic eldritch horror alternate history with lesbians? sign me up!” and binge-listened to it all in like two days. and then i started writing this. at this point it’s probably going to waste away in my wips folder because i have so many other projects i’m working on, but i thought i’d let the stuff i have written see the light of day? so. enjoy.

The labels are nearly worn off of the switchboard at this point, by decades of fingers sliding over the words on their lazy way to the keys and buttons and knobs, but Viktor doesn't need the labels to boot up the broadcasting system. He could do this in his sleep by now; undoubtedly has, at some point over the last several years, during one of the periods when the coffeemaker was acting up, or maybe on a particularly gloomy day where the iron gray sky bled into the sea, turning the world outside the window into one huge dome of half-light, broken only by the long line of the highway stretching over the waves.

He waits for the static to clear from his headset, then takes a swig of water from the bottle on the floor and switches the microphone on.

"Good afternoon, travelers," he says. The chipper tone isn't even ironic, at this point; just a reflex. "This is Viktor broadcasting from Watchtower Eight, your halfway marker on the journey across the Transcontinental Bridge. It's just a few minutes until the top of the hour, but I think we can get a head start on our traffic report. Current Bridge conditions are the same as usual, which means—" here he leans forward to glance out the window again, just to be sure "—no traffic near Watchtower Eight. So all of you nonexistent drivers will have a pleasant cruise across this particular bit of the Atlantic."

A bright chime bursts out of the tinny intercom speakers on the console, and the light labeled Inter-Tower Channel flashes green. Viktor flips the switch that connects his personal headset to the public frequency.

"Fucking moron," is Yuri Plisetsky's greeting, somewhat obscured by the normal static from the line. "There is literally never any traffic, Viktor. You don't have to do your annoying-ass reports."

"Good to hear from you too, Yura," Viktor says. "How are things over at Eleven?"

"Dead. There is nothing here. Oh, no, actually, a seagull brained itself on the signal beam this morning, and I got sent up to chuck its body into the sea. It's the most exciting thing that's happened in months."

Which probably isn't true, Viktor thinks, but he'd believe that it's the most exciting thing that can be broadcast on the airwaves. The intercom chimes again, and a new voice chimes in.

"Maybe the seagull was just bored out of its head," the new voice—Viktor has to think for a second to place it as Leo, from Watchtower One, all the way back on the American coast—says. "The ones back here just try to steal my lunch."

"And how is the ground traffic on your end, Leo?" Viktor asks, so that he can at least sort of pretend to be doing his job.

"Two skateboarders practicing their grinds on the guardrail," Leo reports. "For the record, this is inadvisable. It's a long drop, kiddos."

"'Kiddos'," Yuri scoffs. "How old are you again, Iglesia?"

"Older than you!" Leo says.

"Ah well," Viktor says. "I'm afraid that's it for our afternoon traffic report. So, listeners who may or may not exist, I'm afraid I'll take my leave for now. Lunch won't make itself!"

He leaves Yuri and Leo to their bickering and ends his broadcast. The equipment makes a shuddery, wheezy sound when he powers it down, but Viktor's not terribly worried about it. He's fairly sure everything in this Watchtower could survive a war. It might have already. He doesn't know about that, but he does know better than to ask. He's been threatened more than once for snooping in the Archives, and not by his supervisor, but by strange people who called his personal cell phone and whispered reprimands that sent shivers up his spine. Never mind the fact that he hadn't charged his cell phone in years, or that he didn't get reception in the middle of the Atlantic.

The spiral staircase that leads down to the main floor is situated in the gap between the broadcasting room and the guest cabins. The steps rattle under Viktor's feet. He passes Georgi on the second floor, tinkering with something in the ceiling—hopefully the vents, because none of the crew cabins have been getting decent air circulation in months. Viktor ignores him and continues down to the first floor, turning into the kitchen. Yakov is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a dour expression.

"Vitya," he says, "how many times do I need to tell you to do your damn job?"

Viktor waves him off with a lazy sweep of his hand. "There's nobody to make traffic," he says, "and nobody to hear the traffic report. Quit being such a fusspot, old man."

Yakov harrumphs into his coffee, but doesn't respond; this is an argument he and Viktor have had dozens of times over the last few years. "As long as you do your other job," he says.

"Yes, calm down, I'm going to feed Makka now," he says. "Where's the bucket?"

"It's outside the containment area," Yakov says. "Georgi filled it earlier. Honestly, Vitya, that stuff reeks."

"Makkachin likes it!" Viktor says. "I'll get going. I'm sure he can smell his food already."

He takes the stairs down two at a time: past the Archives in Submare One, the storage rooms in Submare Two, all the way down to Submare Three. This far below the water, the walls creak and groan with the shifting waves. There are no portholes—best not to think about what's outside, Yakov had said, on Viktor's first day—but even so Viktor's bones ache with the knowledge that the sunlight is dim down here. The rivets hold steady, but Viktor can still imagine them shaking loose, the walls buckling inward, crushing the Watchtower like a tin can.

Viktor shakes it off when he reaches the vault door in Submare Three. He taps in the twelve-digit code on the keypad with one hand and picks up the bucket of severed fish heads with the other. When the lock beeps, he presses his thumb and all of his fingers against the scanner in turn; only then do the hydraulics hiss as the door unlocks with an ominous clunk. Despite the thickness of the steel, the door opens easily at Viktor's touch.

The vault door opens up into the containment area: a huge circular room that takes up nearly all of the lowest level of the Watchtower. Despite this, the only floor is a narrow metal walkway around the edge, just over a foot wide. The rest of the chamber is open water: deep, dark, and washing back and forth in small waves, despite the fact that there are no direct water lines between it and the ocean outside.

"Makkachin!" Viktor trills. "Where's my good boy? Did you miss me?"

He drops the bucket and claps his hands over his ears: just in time, as a hellish SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEE echoes through the chamber. The water boils. Three long, brown tentacles, each nearly as thick as Viktor's thigh and easily long enough to brush the towering ceiling, burst through from below, the suckers pulsing. One of the tentacles begins slithering over the walkway by Viktor's feet, slinking, searching.

"I've got your dinner here, boy," Viktor says, and reaches into the bucket. He picks up a fish head and tosses it, watching as one of the other tentacles snaps down lightning-quick to snatch it out of the air and drag it below the water. "Is it nummies?" Viktor asks. "Nummy fish for the good Makkachin?"

The resulting chainsaw-on-chalkboard noise doesn't make Viktor's ears bleed, thankfully. The seeking tentacle near his feet winds around his leg, slick mottled brown, and Viktor leans down to give it a gentle pat.

"I missed you too, buddy," Viktor says. "Open wide, okay? Food incoming!"

He throws the rest of the bucket's contents out into the water and sits on the edge of the walkway while Makkachin's tentacles pull the fish bits into the depths. He's just tall enough that he can point his toes and tap the surface of the water with the soles of his shoes, so he does. During his first month at the Watchtower he taught himself Morse code in a fit of over-enthusiasm, so he uses it now, tapping and swishing the water, a secret message just for him and Makka: tap-swish-tap-tap-swish-swish-swish-swish-tap-tap.

Makkachin probably doesn't know Morse code. So maybe it's just a message for Viktor. Fitting.

"I'm sorry it's so lonely down here," he says. "I don't mean to stay upstairs so long. I'll come visit more often."

Makkachin gurgles.

"Yeah, just me and you, buddy," Viktor says, and reaches out absently to scratch a passing tentacle.

--

Before he’d been a Watchtower crewman, Viktor Nikiforov had been a legend.

He’d been on the top of the figure skating world for nearly a decade. His undefeated streak spanned five years: five years of gold at the Grand Prix, at Nationals, at Euros, at Worlds. Multiple world records tucked under his belt. Two Olympic titles. Russia’s hero, they called him; a god among men. Undefeated, unattainable, untouchable. His shadow from atop the podium was monstrous in the flashes of the cameras.

He’d just won his fifth Worlds gold in Boston when the kennel called. His dog—Makkachin—had just died. In his sleep, the woman said. Surely he hadn’t been in any pain. A gentle death for a gentle dog.

Viktor hadn’t seen Makkachin for nearly three days before he’d actually left.

So he’d told his coach that he was going to rent a car and drive back to Europe. Time to clear his head, he’d said, and the coach had agreed. The Transcontinental Bridge still had a lingering reputation as a tourist attraction, albeit one that Viktor had experienced before. Even half-abandoned it was a marvel of engineering. There were hotels, restaurants, museums, little Bridge-side towns with kitschy mom-and-pop shops. Viktor had ignored these; for just under a full day of driving it had been only him and the ocean. He’d driven and driven and then stopped for the night at Checkpoint Eight, the Transcontinental Hotel: the pride of the Bridge, a glittering palace over the sea with a glass ballroom, fresh-turned silk sheets on every bed, and a string quartet that turned sea shanties into sweeping waltzes for guests to float along to under the stars.

He’d emailed the Russian Skating Federation his resignation notice the next morning. By that afternoon he’d unpacked his single carry-on in one of the empty crew cabins in Watchtower Eight, his handful of spare shirts and underwear tucked neatly inside the chipboard drawers, the concrete walls bare, the fresh cotton sheets scratching his bare skin.

And…well. Why would Viktor ever leave?

--

“Good afternoon, Bridge travelers,” Viktor says. “It’s another slow day here by Watchtower Eight, and so, your traffic report: there is no traffic. I’m sure if you questionably-extant listeners wait for a few minutes, one of my colleagues from elsewhere on the Bridge will chime in with commentary.”

Viktor waits for a beat, then repeats himself in Russian and in French, just because he can.

The intercom beeps, and Christophe’s voice comes through, amused and slurred—likely hungover, or maybe just being Chris. “Your accent is horrendous,” he says by way of greeting.

“Good afternoon, Christophe,” Viktor says. “How are things?”

“Oh, fine, fine,” Chris says. “Light traffic down here at Fifteen, come stop by the Gold Doubloon casino for a fun night of games and revelry, gamble responsibly: don’t wager anything you aren’t willing to lose, don’t play for anything you aren’t willing to live with, et cetera. Word on the wire is that there’s a big closure down by Checkpoint Nine—do you know anything about that?”

“Hmm? No.” Viktor absently shuffles the stack of letters from mainland headquarters. He should probably read them at some point.

“Ah, there’s a little Bridge-side town that’s closed its access road. The Travel Agency sent out a notice that the road won’t reopen, so drivers should plan their stops around it, what’s it called…Hatsetsu?”

Viktor frowns. The name tickles at the edge of his memory, but nothing concrete comes to mind. Possibly he just remembers driving past the sign, if it’s really so close to his own domain. “Any idea how the residents are going to get around?”

“Well, that’s just the thing,” Chris says. His voice is low, now, conspiratorial, as though they weren’t having this discussion over public airwaves. They could be huddled around a campfire, sharing ghost stories. “You didn’t hear this from me, but a little birdy”—meaning, Viktor thinks, Phichit—“says the town’s abandoned. Everyone vanished overnight. Poof.”

Before he can respond, someone else on the Inter-Tower line squeaks out a small “Ah.” This is followed by a gust of air and a smacking sound. Viktor thinks, suddenly, of a small child clapping a hand over their own mouth, afraid to be caught listening.

“Hello?” he says.

“Oh,” the new voice says, strangely muffled, and then clearer: “Oh. Uh. This is Watchtower Nine—sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Nine!” Chris says. “I don’t recognize your voice.”

“Oh, yes,” the man says. “I’m new. I just started here.”

Viktor smiles. It’s been a while since any of the towers have gotten new crewmen. “What’s your name?” he asks, propping his chin on the desk.

“I’m…I’m Yuuri Katsuki,” the voice says. “It’s nice to, uh, meet you?”

“Welcome to the Bridge, Yuuri,” Viktor says.

Yuuri—laughs? It’s hard to tell over the crackling line. “I’ve lived here all my life,” he says, “but thank you.”

“Your whole life, huh?” Chris says. “Very interesting. Not many Bridge natives come to work at the Watchtowers. What brought you to us?”

Yuuri is silent for a few heartbeats too many. “…change of scenery,” he says finally.

“Well, we’re a good bunch,” Viktor says, over Chris’s questioning noise. “And Chris will only bite if you ask nicely.”

“It takes more than a bite to scare me away,” Yuuri says.

Despite the static noises, Chris’s purr of “Is that so?” comes through crystal clear.

And Viktor makes possibly the most disgusting noise he has ever made in his life, like a pig with a cold, directly into the microphone. He hears another few sets of tinny laughter, probably other Watchtower radio hosts lurking on the line, and over that Yuuri sputtering, “No! I didn’t—not like that!”

“Welcome!” Sara says through the ruckus. “Once Chris has hit on you, you’re really part of the family.”

Viktor’s own laughter trails off a bit at that. He doesn’t know Sara well—mostly snippets of information passed from Mila or Yuri in conversation—but he knows enough to think about the reason she’s on the Bridge at all, running from home and a brother who refused to let her out of his sight. She’d come because she’d had nowhere else, and then she’d stayed.

Family might be too strong a word for what they are, a collection of outcasts strung across thousands of miles. Viktor already knows he will never see most of these peoples’ faces. But after all, it’s not as though he has anyone else.

“Vitya!” Yakov’s shout echoes up the stairs.

“Oh, dear,” Viktor says. “My supervisor’s calling—I have to go. It’s been a pleasure, Yuuri.”

“Ah—likewise, Viktor,” Yuuri says. Viktor indulges himself in a lazy smile as he powers down the equipment.

It’s not until after he’s fed Makkachin that he realizes nobody ever told Yuuri his name.

--

Here was a secret that Viktor had sworn he would take to his grave long before he came to the Bridge: the podium was his least favorite place to be.

The rest of it had a certain thrill to it. The routines, of course; the costumes, extravagant and beautiful and designed to make him irresistible and ever-so-slightly inhuman; the plane rides to faraway countries, the sponsors and the fancy dinners. The hotels with silk sheets and crystal chandeliers that glinted like little chips of stolen starlight.

The podium, though—somewhere along the way it became a pedestal, or a display shelf. He looked good and he worked hard to stay there until he thought maybe his feet would fuse to the top spot and he’d be frozen there forever, the rest of the skating world clawing at his ankles, tearing at each other for a chance to send him crashing down.

He was Viktor Nikiforov, the legend. The singular. There was no room at the top for anyone else.

Perhaps the move to sea level did some good. But now here he was, sitting at the top of the Watchtower, just him and the radio and the empty road.

[sinkingorswimming]

"Dead Girl Walking" from Heathers

*and now a musical interlude in the X-Men ‘verse for someone’s POV not Dazzler*

His former self died with no fanfare, mourning, or memorial service.

He doesn’t recall much, but then again he doesn’t need to. It’s irrelevant to the here and now, to who he’s become versus any who he was. 

At some point, a hole opened and he went into it with bright eyes and curious thoughts. A woman calling herself Roma gave some New Age chakra speech about a Seige and new lives, true lives, who you’re meant to be. He rolled his eyes and dismissed it, with her calling a warning as he passed.

When he came out on the other side, he was in a world of television and Nielsen ratings and loud loud loud loud.

A kind woman with a deep brown bun befriended him, sort of a pseduo-mom in lieu of his actual one, and Lilia brought him to her home. He ate a stew and some crusty bread with her, and then he slept in a spare room with seafoam green walls.

He woke in a lab, eyes pried open and strapped to a table, poked, prodded, molded, rehsaped, remade, renamed. 

Sometimes he recalls a word—Yurochka, he thinks. He used to have green eyes, now they’re a deep violet. They see sharper, deeper than human eyes, but he never asked why. His hair was a bright blond—now it’s a pale lavender and he wears a suit of silver and white that’s more form than function.

Lord Yakov summons him, Spiral to his right, and the Supreme Ruler smiles at him. His skin is slightly yellow and he can only stand thanks to the aid of a cybernetic spine that he’s had implanted that rests over his suit. “Fairy,” he says, using the name thrust upon him.

“Sire,” he replies.

“You want to be the number one, right,” Lord Yakov continues. “The highest ratings grab in history?”

“Yes, Lord,” he answers with fire.

“We’re sending you to Earth, then,” the Lord continues as Major Gosha, clad in black and purple, hands him a bottle of antacid with thinly veiled loathing.

Earth was home once. He wonders how it’s changed.

“Bring home the prize, Fairy,” Spiral was with a smile. “You have the talent and the skill. You’re better than Longshot ever was.”

Major Gosha sighs and opens a portal. It shimmers yellow. 

“We’ll keep in touch,” Lord Yakov assures.

Fairy takes a sprint through the wormhole and ends up in fields of green with trees covering the sky. It’s loud and quiet in a weird mixture, and he stops and looks around. He bows his head with his eyes closed while a silver and pink glowing mask shaped like wings covers his eyes. 

It’s sort of like echolocation except using a person’s brainwaves, and the Fairy reaches beyond the trees and foliage—there’s a city full of noise and smoke, and beyond that buildings and bridges. The concrete jungle is full of white noise, random people and crowds everywhere he has to push aside to isolate the pattern he wants.

There’s a neighborhood with a woman’s name dozens of blocks away, and he can zero on in a mental pattern with a slight variant from all the ones around it. It’s definitely Longshot, the cheerful idiot’s mind lit up over some rye-cake thing and the man he sits with who—

Wait, his brain’s different too. Not like Longshot’s, but it is. Parts of his cerebral cortex are lit up blue instead of the normal yellow. The Fairy concentrates harder on him—black hair, eyeglasses, bright smile, no shielding from psychics or knowledge of how to notice one intruding.

Fairy pushes some ambient chatter in his head aside like parting an overgrown hedge. Lights—he’s an electric lightshow. There’s a nullspace of sound within his direct proximity, like he’s hoarding it for later, he glitters and shines like a jewel.

Fairy is fascinated.

Longshot consumes the square thing with crannies and fruit like it’s his salvation, but the other man is explaining something to him called ‘school.’ Fairy thinks he went to one of those once. Maybe. Hard to say.

He lifts into the air surrounded by his pink and silver energy, heading to the neighborhood with a girl’s name while eavesdropping all the while. 

He learns three things.

1) Longshot is a smitten idiot for this man, which is irritating for a complicated set of reasons Fairy will not consider at this time.

2) There are other mental signatures like the Shiny One’s, though not as many as the flatscan-patterns. (One example: Fairy senses a boy in a flat three blocks over hanging up a poster of a musician named Dazzler—the boy has blond and red dyed hair, but his eyes are a solid black like a pixie’s. He has glittering rainbow wings that he stretches as he uses a level to check his handiwork, determined that the next concert he’ll get an autograph. The Dazzler singer looks vaguely familiar, but Fairy can’t place him.)

3) No one in this crappy town understands shielding what’s in their heads and after maybe an hour, Fairy wants to stick an ice skate blade through his temples. 

Fairy is this close to hitting the target objective and dragging his dumb ass back to Yakovworld when a rush of black and yellow catches his eye. It’s a person flying like him, shiny brain pattern like the one guy, but he’s got some kind of solar-based thing happening. 

The distraction lasts enough he loses Longshot in the crowd along with the Shiny One, but he’s super curious and so he follows the Golden Eagle Boy. 

There’s a seemingly abandoned duplex that he enters from the roof, and Fairy hovers above. The Golden Boy reverts to a human appearance—slightly taller than Fairy, black hair in an undercut, good looking and broad. He wears blue and yellow with white accents. Fairy rests around a corner.

“Why’d you follow me?” barks Golden Boy.

Sloppy. Sloppy. Spiral would yell at him for not using his telepathy to mask his presence. Fairy drops to the roof—up close Golden Boy is…cool. It’s been a long time since he’s met someone cool. “You have powers,” Fairy says.

“All of us in this house do,” Golden Boy answers. “Families kicked us out or we felt like we had to run away because they would if they knew. Mutants aren’t popular and since there’s some group abducting us for who knows what—a few of us stick together here.”

Fairy tilts his head. “Mutants.”

“You’re one, obviously,” Golden Boy continues. “You got anywhere to go?”

“No,” Fairy replies.

Golden Boy opens a roof latch and starts climbing down a ladder. He pokes his head back up. “Are you going to come inside with me or what?”

Fairy gives a small smile and follows. The half of the Duplex is mostly well-kept for runaways living in it—needs some fresh paint but other than that, it isn’t bad. There’s two girls in the kitchen making some kind of meal—one tall with a red bob and blue eyes, the other shorter with incredibly long black hair and purple eyes like Fairy’s new ones. 

“Mila, Sara,” says Golden Boy. “Found a new stray.”

The girls look—the redhead seems for a moment like she has a pair of brain patterns instead of just one, but the second is like a five alarm inferno baring down on Fairy so he leaves it be. The dark-haired girl seems to have thoughts that go a mile a minute. 

The Fire Bird smiles. “Hey, a fellow telepath,” she says with cheer. 

“You aren’t going to pry like Mila does, are you?” the Fast One says.

“No,” Fairy lies, concealing his intentions from her.

It seems to work. “Welcome, we have enough space—you can double up with Otabek, he’s got a spare bed in his room.”

“Thank you,” Fairy replies on autopilot. 

Otabek shows him to the table, Fairy sitting with his feet on the cushion while slouching. He turns off the telepathy so his head can clear and the low throbbing at his temples can stop.

“By the way, kid, what’s your name?” Mila asks.

It comes back to him for the first time in at least a year in the voice of a friendly old man with love in his eyes.

“Yuri Plisetsky.”