#yup still hate heaven you all are asshats

[ineffableaddiction]

What fire does not destroy, it hardens.

-Oscar Wilde

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Again, stream of consciousness. Apparently I have a lot to say right now. Also, coffee and proper medicated-ness fuels creativity. Who knew?

Subsequent, Consequent, Content?

college costs much more than me more than it ever has in history at least i think, im never sure Probability's so rarely pure

the walls melt and it's okay i've still got so much to say little built-in tripping can't keep me from another rant

wanna learn and grow and bring new knowledge, ideas, everything but i can't brush my own damn teeth my capability's just beneath

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

I think it all started in grade five S’pposed to be easy enough, being alive At least then my needs were met Even if school was a losing bet

I tried and fought and nearly wiped on out Like some parasite, came the doubt If I can’t do this, I’ll never make it But i just can’t, i just can’t take it

It was supposed to get better then But apparently by year ten Neurotransmission machine is broken No wonder i’d wanted sleep unwoken

You didn’t take it too well, of course Mr. I’m healthy as a horse Hey man, horses are real fucked up I think you just got broke shit and luck (yup)

My rock stayed stable back then Despite everything and even when ...Eeeeh, y’know? Of course, who doesn’t? Kids these days got a dime a dozen*

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

The world is ending, ours and mine And i keep stepping out of line How i manage that when i can’t walk What i'm told and what i talk

Well that’s all beyond me, i guess I’ve always just done my best Hate to say it’s insufficient I’m trying to be more efficient

So now I’m out and on my own, Some call me baby, some call me grown I got dreams either way Given my needs, who’s to say

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

I’m tired, man, aren’t we all Everybody’s behind the ball Or in front, about to be rolled over Better hope you don’t get pulled over

God can’t help us, your god won’t And don’t act like he will, just plain don’t It’s our fucking job to fix this shit And I can’t believe someone had to say it

Quit waiting around for god to listen Quit waiting around for heaven’s glisten You worship death with unproven afterlife And don’t bother trying to make better this life

Jesus fuck, good lord, oh god, And whatever else to not nod Along to that monster’s preachers We’re people, man. We’re just creatures.

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

Entitled generation, let’s go with that I don’t mind wearing that tired hat Just know we know what we deserve Y’all ain’t once protect and serve

At least we’re kind to the ones that serve us At least we know the value of service At least we ask for our money’s worth You know, what you’ve had, like, since birth?

I’m sick and tired of right-wing asshats Nazi salutes and red slogan maga hats History is repeating, you’re failing the test It’s open, note, my guy, is this really your best?

And yeah, some people are a little soft Aren’t you, too, up in your loft? Going on about how much it peeves you, endless That people exist, till you’ve left yourself breathless

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

The kids before us, they had hopes But you never bothered to show them the ropes Now we see what’s really occurring The world’s collapsing, we’ve been inferring

Every little girl wants to be a princess Then I realized I’d have to settle for less Vet seemed too far off in addition I didn’t have the money, despite my volition

So writer, then editor, then anything at all So long as it pays, I’ll answer the call My dreams seemed excessive, I needed to be alive How are you supposed to do anything but survive

Of course, even then, it couldn’t be that easy The wind’s picking up, it’s getting pretty breezy My body, my mind, my heart, my soul Keep acting up, despite the pull

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

So now, here we are, hopeless and helpless Unless you get off of your ass and start to help us** You made this mess, you need to help clean it It’s no way to live, knee-high in bullshit

The people that need to hear this just won’t They totally could if they chose, they don’t I should know, it’s the way I used to be I look at them, I see a past version of me

Listen, I’ve been there, done that song and dance But damn it, for once, will you try to take a chance? Listen to something that isn’t Fox or trump Pull your head out of your own fucking rump

I think what I have should be good enough I think I’m tired of being tough I think everyone deserves better than this I think monsoon season was wetter than this

~~

*this is not a dig at 'kids these days'

**the you is directed at the people who made this mess in the first place and the people who have the means to but do not change things for the better. people who care but feel too trapped to do something are okay, and people who are doing literally anything at all? lightspeed, soldiers. lightspeed.

**Edit: the first you is actually directed at my piece of shit father, the you's from the double asterisks on is as previously stated. deadass forgot there was another you in there lmao

it takes a village

tbh this could be put to music, if someone wants to then maybe I'll sing it, but apparently im not half-bad at writing songs so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wildfire

the dragon beast burned our shit i grabbed on and didn't let go you and me, we fought against it until it was no more

and oh we were so tired exhausted, wiped out, just done and i think about how im wired wasn't this supposed to be fun?

so tell me, my dear love why oh why is it happening again raining from the maw above and what did we do then?

I said, well maybe, it's time for a burn Maybe there's a better way, maybe we need to learn You said 'you're on your own, kid, and this is your fault, so" hum idk

Chorus:

Get it together, man Get outta this house Pull your head from the sand Practice what you espouse

Maybe you need some help Ain't that what family is for Too bad they won't scruff this whelp Cause they're just too damn poor

End chorus

So you worked and worked and worked and I rested i guess way too much "Dontcha know god's labor's never shirked? You should be doing as such"

Beholden to no god except each other Beholden to the safety of my mother What do you do when home's not home What do you do when you're alone?

Chorus:

Get it together, man Get outta this house Pull your head from the sand See what you espouse

Maybe you need some help Ain't that what family is for Too bad they won't carry this whelp Cause they're just too damn poor

End chorus

So home was a house again Never to return, I hope I went through some real shit then God, what a tired trope

Traffic's no place to play, you know Better than that sad place, though I saw the mountains, close enough To walk up to them, sure it'd be tough

bridge:

It'd be worth it It's all been worth it This world wants me dead the people want me alive it's just like i said i can't work a nine to five (right now i hate being right)

new chorus:

I got something going, man I'm outta house My head's a bit fogged and well, at least there's no louse

I'm getting some good help Aint that what family is for The world's gotta carry this old whelp Now that he's damn poor

end chorus and song(?)

anyways maybe i could add more to the end of it but it already feels pretty long. could also do some editing in general but here y'all go lmao

[selene-stories]

[Tw: Mention of (past) physical harm]

"Are you better?"

The angel sighed in content.

"Good" The other said while pressing a wet cloth on the angel's wounded back. "Do you...want to talk about it?"

The angel calmly shook their head.

"Fine." But then, "you could though."

"No, i'm fine as it is-"

"Are not."

"But thank you" the angel completed kindly, only flinching when the other firmly pressed at a whip scar.

"Fine" the demon said once again. "Just have me treat you each time, bet that's good. So healthy."

Another stupid hum.

The angel's pure white wings were gathered, vulnerable and beautiful. And, as the demon could swear, soft. They had to be, if a single light touch gave their fingers a permanent tingly sensation. It was like fur, or clouds, softer even. The demon should know better than to compare any part of the angel to anything mortal.

The angel looked over their shoulder.

"Ah- I need alloy."

The angel nodded to their right in response, to where a small container sat.

"Sure" grumbled the demon, "do have powers like that, summon whatever you want, and not give attention to any of us-"

"How was your day?" The angel asked, sounding suspiciously amused.

"My-" the demon paused mid-motion, cool lotion on their fingers. They lacked claws that day. "Oh, i'll tell you about my day." They all but threw lotion on the angel's back, who shivered.

The demon stilled.

"...yes?" The angel asked after several moments of silence, causing the demon to stutter and heat to rise on their cheeks.

"Yes--ahm. Those bastards."

They began spreading the lotion to strong shoulder blades, smooth skin, along their spine.

"What did they do?"

The demon flinched, eyes refocusing. Right. "They...were asshats."

"Hmm."

"Yup. Very- very much so. Aha."

The angel's skin looked so pretty, be it not for the scars. Though in a way, they kinda suited them. What kind of scars could the demon leave on them, they wondered.

"A-and!" They forced themselves to be quick and efficient, not feeling the angel's strong muscles, soft skin, along their delicate spine.

"They make me work over time!" Why was their heart beating so fast?

"You don't say" said the angel softly. If it was meant to be sarcastic, it certainly didn't sound like it. It almost sounded..concerned. But that was a very human thing, no way an angel would ever be anything than hateful to a fallen creature.

"Are you okay?" The angel asked, eyes soft and worried and genuine.

Nope. The demon was very much not okay. Anything but that.

"Ah, yeah" they lied. "Mhm. I'm fine- how's your back?" They nearly pushed the angel away but they winced in response.

"Ah- sorry i-"

"No no" they said serenely, "it's okay. You didn't mean it."

Shoo nasty thoughts, begone. The angel invited you over to help, not to thirst over them. Not for hugs and chit chat. You help, then you get back to the pits of hell. You like it there. You do.

"Sure...But it still hurt y-"

"Really, i'm alright."

The angel's warm hand found the demon's on their shoulder. They had to snap the demon out of their trance once again.

"You seem concerned."

"Wh-me? Noo no- turn around."

The angel did, but slowly, hesitating.

"Oh for the love of-" the demon pulled them over their upper arm to face them. Wrong decision cause they forgot how to breath upon meeting their eyes.

New plan:

"Close your eyes."

"Huh?" The angel tilted their head, like a baby bird, "why?"

Cause too cute, too seducing.

"Cause I say so. Now," they gestured.

The angel gave a sigh of disappointment. Shockingly, it was towards themself cause they did, in fact, close their eyes. How much did they trust the demon to give up their sense of sight? That, or they had been tortured so much they lost common sense.

How..how much had they been punished?

"[Demon]?"

"Yeah, yup, here. Present." The demon almost didn't understand what words escaped from their mouth.

A childsh smile played at the angel's lips. Then, they spoke in a way they always seemed to; gentle and soothing.

Angelic.

"Thank you."

It was one thing to be banned from the heavens and fall into hell and another to fall in love with a person. But damn it, did both feel so scary yet so exciting at the same time. Like relief, and like sure damnation.

Since when had love been so similar to falling from grace?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" the demon blinked. "Yes. No problem."

And how did one stop it? How did one un-fall?

"Well" the angel said and lifted their shirt. As white fabric slid down their torso the demon had a dreadful thought.

There was no falling out of it.

"You're great but I have to get going."

The demon chocked on their own tongue. They managed some sound of agreement while the angel walked off, chuckling. Then they flapped their wings, launching themselves to the sky while the demon could do nothing but stare.