#yul though. oh no.

[stoneclaw]

i did /box for clear gpose and promptly developed boxer yul au brainrot. as in that doesnt exist. and i need it to. i need it to NOW.

[tsuutarr]

Does Jin take out potential dudes if they attempt to flirt or get Mc, like Mc is too attractive for their own sake?

So, Jiu's whole character was inspired by Secret Alliance's Yul (hence the crossdressing)! When a guy flirts with Jiu's darling, Jiu first tests the waters to see if the guy will go for any girl via crossdressing as the guy's ideal type.

If the guy genuinely does like darling, though... oh, Jiu goes on a whole social media search and finds ANYTHING incriminating about that guy -- ANYTHING he can find at all (Jiu may even frame the dude with a crime if he can't find anything bad about the guy that likes darling).

Jiu isn't the violent type usually (i.e., he likes to get rid of darling's suitors but in a way where he won't be framed for murder or something), but can get violent if he's pushed too much.

If a dude tries to flirt with MC in front of Jiu, Jiu immediately intervenes haha

Jiu actually really likes it when MC is all dressed up and pretty, though -- he has an eye for beauty and likes to cross dress because it makes him feel pretty (+ helps keep MC's suitors away LOL). It's just that when he dresses darling up, he will ONLY do so if darling is with him.

[syllvane]

soldier, poet, king - tolya yul-bataar x reader

a/n: reader is sister of nikolai, feminine pronouns are used but no physical characteristics are ever described. ty for all of the love <3

Your brother would fire him if he found out that you had even considered Tolya in a romantic way. Not out of any disdain for him- out of anyone you could have grown fondness for, you were sure that Nikolai would prefer Tolya over the numerous suitors that waited for you back at Os Alta, but out of a protectiveness of you, as if you weren't perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

“What are you thinking about?” Tamar asked, leaning against the wooden side of the ship, bright eyes looking at you.

”Nothing.”

“You know I can tell when you're lying.”

”When has that ever stopped me?”

Tamar scoffed, a smile pulling at the edges of her lips.

“Never,” She said, her eyes shining. “I don't know why I even ask, your heart only beats like that when you're thinking about my brother.”

Your heart jumped and Tamar let out another breathy laugh, feeling it without any effort.

“Too easy.” She said smugly and you rolled your eyes.

“Not funny.”

“Speak for yourself, moya tsarevna.” She said and you cringed at the title.

“As soon as Nik becomes king, I’m banning you from using that title.”

“Not Tolya though?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and gave her a look.

“I’m going to push you off this boat.”

A firm arm went around your shoulders, startling you and from the other side of you, Tolya grinned down at you.

“Now you know I love you, but why are you threatening to throw my sister off the boat?” He asked jokingly and you prayed to every Saint that your heart wasn’t going as fast as you felt it was.

You looked at Tamar and instantly regretted it, barely contained laughter on her lips.

“As first mate, I demand it.” You said stoically in response, a small smile on your lips and Tolya raised his eyebrows, removing his arm from your shoulder.

“Well, we should at least run it by Sturmhond.” 

“Oh who are we kidding, he’d choose you over me everyday.” You joked, able to relax more now that you weren’t in direct contact with Tolya.

“I’ll choose you then.” Tolya said and your smile softened at the sweetness of the sentiment.

“Spoken like a poet.” Tamar teased and Tolya scoffed, but beamed at the accusation.

“Do you think you would be happy, living a life like the one Nikolai and I had?”

“Back in the castle?” Tolya asked and you nodded. “I mean, I know you’re both going to go back eventually. Me and Tamar will be there as your guards.”

“Not as guards though, as… forget it, I’m just being silly.”

Tolya looked at you, studied for you for a moment with only the moonlight illuminating your features, peering off into seemingly endless sea.

“It’s not silly.” He said, moving so that he was ever so slightly closer to you. “I’ve never really thought about it before. Do you think I’d make a good noble?”

“No,” You answered quickly. “You’re too kindhearted. You’re too good.”

“So are you.” Tolya argued and you smiled.

“And I’m hardly the picture of good noble, I ran off with my older brother to play pirate- sorry privateer.”  You said. “I’ve always been a better soldier than princess, much to my mother’s dismay. I used to sneak off and follow Nikolai to his basic training instead of go to etiquette classes.”

Tolya snorted and you couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face.

“I’m glad you skipped your etiquette classes, I like you how you are.”

Your heart jumped. Tolya looked over at you but didn’t say anything.

“Why do you ask? About me being a noble?” He pressed and you shook your head.

“As much as maybe me and Nik want it to, this can’t last forever. We have to go home at some point, him to try to take the throne that Vasily has never wanted, and me to sit around as set dressing, I suppose. To get married. I just… it really is silly, Tolya.” You said, standing up and preparing to walk away before he stood up and quickly caught your wrist, making you look at him.

“Tell me.” He said softly, letting go of your wrist. “Please.”

You took a step closer to him before grabbing his hand and putting it on the cloth covering your heart.

“Do you really not know?” You took a deep breath, painfully aware of how fast your heart was racing. “I’m not asking for marriage or anything like that, I’m asking… I don’t know what I’m asking.”

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

His hands moved to your shoulders and he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours gently. He pulled away, his hands still on you.

“As long as you will have me, I will be here.” 

[lyranova]

————

Hiya guys! Here’s another flirty prompt fic, this one kind of got away from me a bit even though it’s about the same length as the others, also I apologize it’s a bit rough, it’s been a while since I’ve written for Yami; but I hope you all enjoy~!

Word Count: 651

Warnings: Suggestive Themes, use of the word ass

————

Yami let out a quiet sigh as he walked into his room, his brow furrowing in slight annoyance at the chaos that was going on downstairs in the common room of the Hideout.

Usually he was a bit more patient with the Bulls and their antics, but today he was just too tired and too stressed to deal with it. So, as usual, he left Finral in charge of the Bulls for the evening and told him to make sure they didn’t hurt or kill themselves while he took a dump and a quick nap.

But all of that was forgotten the moment he heard your soft voice float around the room.

“ You look tired,” You told him as you stood seductively in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a small, white towel that clung tightly to every curve of your body.

“ Maybe it’s because you've been running through my mind all day?” You questioned, your tone feigning innocence but he could clearly hear the teasing, playful undertone.

Yami blinked at you for a moment before a small smirk appeared on his face as he decided he would play along with your little game.

“ Is it that obvious?” He asked as he walked up to you.

A soft hum escaped your lips as you slowly nodded.

“ Just a little bit,” You replied as you pinched your fingers together, making Yami chuckle but shake his head at your antics.

“ Oh, I know what will make you feel better,” You said as you placed your hand on his chest, making him shiver just a bit at the coolness of them.

“ Yeah? And what would that be?” He asked as he watched you lean up towards him, your lips hovering just over his.

“ Taking off your shirt and kissing me should do the trick.” You whispered seductively against his lips.

You watched as his smirk widened, and felt his grip on your hips tighten slightly, before he leaned down and captured your lips in a rough, sensual kiss.

Your arms wrapped tightly around his neck as the kiss grew warmer, rougher, and more passionate; the stress and worry of the past few weeks slowly being poured into it as your lips moved against each other in a fiery waltz.

You smirked as you felt Yami’s tongue gently graze against your bottom lip, asking for entrance, and you hummed as you went back and forth on whether to tease him a little more or not.

Apparently, you took too long trying to decide, because an impatient growl escaped Yami’s throat and he took your bottom lip into his mouth before gently, yet firmly, nipping it; causing you to gasp in surprise, which gave him the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips to deepen the kiss.

As the kiss deepened you felt his hands slip down from your hips, past your ass, until he reached the back of your thighs where he gripped them firmly before he hoisted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“ You know,” You began breathlessly as you broke the kiss and stared at Yami with a heated, lustful gaze. “ I think we should shower together, so we can save some water.”

Yami blinked at you for a moment before he let out a laugh and gave your ass a squeeze, making you gasp in surprise.

“ Y’know, that’s a really great idea,” He told you, his eyes swirling with mischief and lust. “ It’ll save a ton of water, and a ton of yul, if we shower together.”

You rolled your eyes and muttered ‘cheapskate’ before capturing his lips in another heated kiss as he carried you into the bathroom.

Your shared shower did not, in fact, save water or yul, but instead actually cost a lot more than a separate shower would have. But neither of you minded, since it was more then worth it.

————

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[emmatgc]

Wonderful World Chapter 11

POWER OVER ME

“What would your Father say? Falling in love with a murderer? So disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself” 

Seon Yul woke up on a rainy night, panting and sweating. It’s been years since his last nightmare but lately, it comes regularly. 

Seon Yul when his father was killed had nightmares almost regularly. When his mother died, it got worse and it only stopped when he met Soo Hyun. Slowly but surely, weirdly so he thought that once he hated Soo Hyun yet he takes comfort with her even with his hatred and revenge tour. It was dark times and he doesn’t want to go back but something is happening now and he doesn’t know why this nightmares are coming back. 

It’s been 6 months since Soo Hyun and Seon Yul became a couple. That fateful night when they were dancing and had their first real kiss, her confessing being in love with him was the start of the new chapter of their lives…together. In those months they dated almost every week, talked over the phone every week, video calling is not Soo Hyun’s type and Seon Yul laughed at her teasing her about her age. “Careful there, Mine..you are exposing your age not liking video calling me or at all”, he said to her. Every 2 weeks Seon Yul goes to the orphanage and spends the weekend there with Soo Hyun’s family. Seon Yul’s favorite though is visiting her in her classes and fetching her. 

Soo Hyun went back to teaching but this time to a public university. She spent 10 years in a private university before her son was killed. Seoul National University wanted her and she agreed. If Seon Yul have his early off, instead of sleeping in their quarters, he goes home, changed and if his time permits, he fetches her. One time, he surprised her with flowers. When she went out to see him, he had this purple bouquet and she was embarrassed as some of her students saw him walking towards her. Some even commented “is that the Professor’s boyfriend? He is so handsome but very young!”. Some had “that look” all too familiar to them of disbelief and maybe some undertone disapproving look, but some only giggled. This comes with the territory, they both knew what they got themselves into. It is a challenge they welcome after all. When he finally reached Soo Hyun, he gave the flowers and she smiled wholeheartedly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. She wrapped her hand to his and they walked towards his car. "How romantic", she thought.

At the hospital, Seon Yul is a rockstar in the making. He got high praises during his internship program in Germany. He observes more and more surgeries now and assist. Somewhere along his work, he remembers Soo Hyun. Her lips and soft hands most especially but he stops himself dwelling on it. It is hard to finally fall in love under this circumstances. They are not secret lovers but they are not entirely open to all, yet. They agreed to take it slow and when someone asks they answer but if none asks, they don’t tell too. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is somewhat their motto. The hospital doesn’t really know and its not a big deal but sure his best friends and some of his colleagues know already. They are not hiding afterall especially when Soo Hyun comes for a check up once in a while and brings him food. Soo Jin one afternoon saw Soo Hyun waiting at the reception area with a bag. He is guessing food for his boyfriend and his best friend. Dr. Soo Hyun, as he is waiving at her, walking up to her, “it has been awhile”, he said. Soo Hyun stood up and replied “It has been a long time indeed, thank you for watching over Seon Yul”. Soo Jin became stiff and serious as she was being serious he thought and in his mind “my friend can take care of himself actually”, smiling he replied “of course, Doctor, always”. He will be done in a bit. He is in the operating room. “Oh, that’s why he didn’t reply. It was a last minute decision to drove here actually since I have a physical check up and annual routine for my new school and they said to go here. Soo Jin asked “who is your physician , then? She answered “Dr. Tae Oh, I believe”. He smiled a crooked one and said “Oh, Dr. Playboy” Im sorry, its his nickname but he is a very good General Doctor. You are in capable hands just be careful though.

Why? She asked. “He got his eyes transfixed with beautiful women.haha but he gives discounts to them, too so who knows he will give one to you”. They both laughed and a voice behind suddenly appeared “There are other Doctors here you know”. It is Soo Hyun with eyebrows raised. He moved past his friend and went straight to Soo Hyun. He wants to hug her but held back since he wants to thoroughly shower first. “This is for you and your friends, she said while giving the packed food. Seon Yul looked at Soo Jin and said “You shouldn’t habe bothered for them, they are eating just fine”. Soo Jin snatched the food from him and signaled he is going inside now while looking at Soo Hyun and teasing her “remember what I told you on your check up, Goodluck later”. Confused, Seon Yul asked “what was that about? She is smiling and said “Its about Dr. Tae Oh, he said to be careful since this doctor can be very “friendly”. I have been told about this reputation, Seon Yul seriously answered back. What time is your appointment? She replied 1pm. Its about time. I should go now. 

Seon Yul went with her to Dr. Tae Oh’s clinic. He introduced himself and Soo Hyun. 

Dr Tae Oh: Hi Dr. Seon Yul. Dr. Soo Hyun , im looking forward to meet you. Can I tell you a secret? 

Dr. Soo Hyun: Sure 

Dr. Tae OH: I am your biggest fan! I read all your books, I swear! But you know what’s my favorite? 

Dr. Soo Hyun: Do tell. 

Dr. Tae Oh: Your 1st ever book. “Through the looking glass”. 

Soo Hyun was surprised. Her 1st book was a bomb. It failed and it almost didn’t circulated on the book shelves due to bad reviews and low sales. 

Dr. Soo Hyun: I am very flattered, Doctor. Most people don’t know it even existed! I am surprised but thank you! 

Dr. Tae Oh: Really? I bought it right away. It was instrumental in my research back then. Would you mind signing it next time you come back?

Seon Yul can only stand back like an outsider not knowing what they are talking about. Seon Yul only knew 2 books of hers. He clearly saw a genuine smile from Soo Hyun. He feels Tae Oh is reaching and flirting, too. Or maybe he is just over reacting. He is dating a famous person afterall.

Come now, lets get you checked, Dr. Tae oh said. Soo Hyun nodded and Seon Yul touched her hand and said “let me know if your finished, ok?”.  She said “Yes, I will”. 

Tae Oh and Soo Hyun got familiar with each other given the shared history of her long, lost and underrated book that only a few read. She is happy somebody liked it and said it to her face. She agrees with Soo Jin. This Doctor is a charmer. Age in his 40’s like her, dark black hair, good looking but her boyfriend is better she thought ,but going back to her doctor mixed tan color and nice built. No wonder she said, he is a ladies man. After an hour, they said their goodbyes and the results will be emailed as he said. 

Seon Yul never got the chance to meet her again that day since he got called for an emergency meeting with his superiors. Soo Hyun just was happy for her initial results are good and she will just have to wait for the full on results. 

Back home, she was very tired and was about to sleep when Seon Yul called. 

Hey, sorry, are you sleepy already? He asked. “No its ok, Mine. Im still up” she replied. 

Im sorry for this afternoon, I got called for a meeting. “Its ok, don’t worry, I understand”. 

So how was your check up?

It was great! She replied happily. 

You sound so happy there. Did you enjoy Dr. Tae oh’s company? He wanted to take back his words but silly him his words came out out the park immediately without thinking.

Soo Hyun laughed and said “Yes, it was fun. He is a nice guy. Very impressive”. 

Seon Yul sighed. He is somehow perplexed. He had a small groan and he asked “why or how is he impressive”

“Well, a charmer, highly intelligent I can sense and he knew my 1st book! That’s the most impressive part. “

I did not know about that book, he said. Soo Hyun laughed “Of course you didn’t, you were just a child or maybe not even born yet”. 

Silence came over. 

OOppps, Soo Hyun in her mind knew then she must have said something wrong. “Look, Seon Yul, I don’t mean it that way, its just funny to me”. 

Seon Yul didn’t answered back. Soo Hyun knew he was taken aback. “Hey, don’t be mad. It was a joke” 

It’s true though, he replied now. I didn’t know. So, what was the book all about? 

Soo Hyun smiled over the phone and happily told him about the book, why it was rated low and the likes. They talked for another hour until Soo Hyun can’t take it any longer for her eyes are threatening to shut off. They bid goodnight and told each other “I love you”. 

The next day, Seon Yul was brooding and sulking in the corner of their quarters. Soo Jin smacked him at the back. “Hey, what are you brooding about?”. Did you and Soo Hyun had a fight? A lovers quarrel? Haha 

We didn’t, he replied. Then why are you looking like you two broke up? Soo Jin ever the joker guessed, is it about Dr. Tae Oh? 

He saw Seon Yul flinched. “Aha, it is about him” Soo Jin laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bed where Seon Yul was sulking. Why? Did he made a move on her? 

What?..Seon Yul asked. Dr, tae Oh is very famous and accomplished, He is also very much single. I heard he got divorced last month. 

What? Seon Yul raised his voice. Woooah, relax my friend. I am sure Soo Hyun did not like her. 

With a heavy sigh and desperation he said “She didn’t like him alright, she was actually impressed by him. She was Dr. Tae oh this and that last night!” 

That is why you are sulking? Hahahaha Oh my God Seon Yul! You are acting so jealous!

I am not! He stood up and paced the room. 

Soo Jin can’t stop laughing hugging his pillow. Well, it seems you got a little competition going on there, kiddo! Dr. Tae Oh is a man, you are a kid! Seon Yul grabbed him but Soo Jin was quick to get out of his bed and got away from him. 

Moments like this makes him mad a little but also feel alive. Petty things, jealous things all but normal in a relationship. His 1st ever romantic relationship. Soo Hyun being the more mature one may not have a problem in this aspect but he on the other hand has a lot to learn. 

A week after both are so busy. They still talked everyday but this time only a short time due to their very busy and tight schedules. It is one of those weeks. Soo Hyun is scheduled for an exclusive interview with her new book coming out on the holiday season. Soo Hyun smiled thinking about while in her dressing room that this year would be their 1st Christmas together, hers and Seon Yul.  Soo Hyun was beautiful in a blue dress with subtle make up and ponytailed hair. Traveling, Seon Yul and his bets friends were glued to their phones. They are watching live streaming. 

The interview was going well until a question was asked and caught Soo Hyun off guard. 

“Your ex husband is marrying again, how about you Doctor? How is your heart these days?”

She knew about her ex husband’s engagement but how would she answer about the follow up questions. She became tense. 

“I am so happy for him and his fiancee. I met her already and we are in a good place, my ex and I”. 

That is wonderful news to all of your fans who are so worried for you. She is beginning to feel dizzy by the questions and she thought she would let it go but she pressed on and asked “and you, will you date again?” 

Again, she was caught off guard…she froze for a moment and her head is not functioning well now. She became stiff and words can’t get out immediately but she has to so she said “Oh, I am fine, my heart is fine. “ 

She wants the interview to stop but she is not done yet. “I heard from sources you are dating someone right now Doctor, forgive our intrusion, we are just happy you are happy again for you deserve it. All your fans are wishing you the best”. 

She doesn’t know if its a trick question and all but she decided to answer anyways “You are asking some personal questions, I am sure its nobody’s concern really but I thank you all or wishing me the best”. 

She doesn’t want to answer those questions and frankly its not their damn business she says in her mind. She is not denying anything nor she is admitting to anything either. It is better that way. This is something she is fretting for weeks now since she learned about So Hu’s engagement. She hasn’t told Seon Yul yet and worse, they are invited but Soo Hyun is hesitant not just to tell him but to bring him during the wedding ceremony. She believes it is not yet time. Now with the interview, it is out in the open and she is sure he will ask those questions. 

Seon Yul and his best friends were still and silent all throughout their travel to a convention. They saw Seon Yul in deep thought and somehow he looks angry. Seon Yul is beyond angry. He is not sure though what is he mad about. Her not telling him about the wedding or that she did not answered those questions about dating? But he thought they both agreed to keep it low profile or a secret from the public. Still, he felt he is blindsided. They will talk when he comes back, he said to himself. 

Over the weekend, they met at his apartment. They talked about other things 1st and Soo Hyun, addressing the elephant in the room started 1st. “Seon Yul, about the interview”. She wanted to explain and explained she did. “I wanted to tell you Soo Hun is getting married but I simply forgot, I am sorry.” When is he getting married ? Next month he said. 

Are you attending?, he asked. Soo Hyun is in dilemma, she was attending and he was attending but she is not sure if it is the right time for them to be seen in public. She answered “yes, I will be attending”. With whom, May I ask? Seon Yul is looking down. He is not looking at her. Soo Hyun is not sure what to say. She doesn’t want to lie but she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, too. “I will go with my mother and sister”. Soo Hyun is not a very good liar, Seon Yul can see that. He is mad she is lying to her. After all, he saw the invitation last week when she gave that food to him at the hospital, the invitation was there. She forgot it then and he forgot to give it back or did he? 

You are lying, Soo Hyun. I saw the invitation. 

Soo Hyun stood up and wants to apologize right away without thinking how or asking how come he knew. She is just guilty. 

I…am sorry Seon Yul, it is just…hard. I am not sure…. 

Of me? He abruptly asked her. “No, NO of course not Seon Yul. Not that”. 

But why keep it from me? You don’t want them to know? 

Soo Hyun wants to plainly say Yes because that’s the truth but Seon Yul is hurting, she can see that. 

She went to Seon Yul and held his hands “listen to me, I am not ashamed of you, of us. I just think we are not ready yet to face them, the public”. 

Us or You? Seon Yul growled. The 1st time he got angry at her. The 1st time she sees it on her or she saw this look years ago she believes. The look of betrayal she believes. 

We agreed on taking things low, Seon Yul, we also agreed on not going public with this yet. Don’t turn this on me. Its been barely 6 months!  Soo Hyun realized again her words are so blunt and straightforward. She doesn’t know yet how Seon Yul will react but she can’t help it. 

You are right. We barely have this relationship. I guess 6 months is not a long time yet. Seon Yul knows she is right but somehow its painful hearing it from her. Like, she feels she doesn’t want him to go with her and he knows she is right as always. But he is hurt. He, too can’t help it.  He knows it is gonna be a big deal. So, feeling defeated and he doesn’t want to fight or argue anymore. He wants to let it go and rest now. 

"It is getting late. You should go home"." He directed her towards the door to leave. 

Soo Hyun is mad at herself and him but she understands why. This is all new to her. Arguing after 6 years like having a husband. Seon Yul is different from his ex. She is overthinking. She doesn’t want to go home mad or him mad at her. 

So, when Seon Yul was about to turn his back on her, she took his hand. “Are you mad at me?” 

No, he replied coldly. 

You are. Just be honest about it for once, Seon Yul! She shouted. 

Yes! I am mad but more than that I am hurt. I know I shouldn’t be because we agreed on it but this is all new to me, too. I want to say out loud my feelings for you, our relationship but I can’t. You can’t and it sucks, it hurts! I am sorry I feel this way. I..don’t know why I’m triggered really. I was jealous of Dr. Tae Oh, and It’s just that..I’m having nightmares lately and I know you are right. If people know, they will judge us but frankly I don’t care but you do, so I do, too but….you have this power over me, I am so weak and stupid when it comes to this, to you..I am sorry but…

With every ounce of her body and soul, with tears flowing in his eyes as she saw them in his face, she wants him to stop talking, she wants him to stop crying and hurting…so she kissed him. She kissed him with desperation like a plea saying “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”. At first, Seon Yul was just standing and receiving her kisses but something in him has lit, like a fire, his hands moved to her neck and for the 1st time, he kissed her neck. He kissed her neck slowly but fiercely like he wants to mark her , saying “you are mine” in her ear as she is his, which he knows in his mind it is not decent to say that but he is hurt right now and all he wants is to kiss her and feel her in any way he could. She breath on him so did he on her. It’s been a long time since they last kissed this long. They are taking it slowly in that area, too but he is just a man and sometimes, he wants her so bad and even he is embarrassed to admit, he wants more than a kiss. Their kisses were hungry and fluid. She broke the kiss first. She is panting. Her lips are wet and Seon Yul’s eyes are darker than usual looking at her but he is the one really to break the “mood” for good. He wants to do it the right way, in his mind he is saying that. He doesn’t want to fight her. She always win he thought. He smirked and smiled at her “That was our first fight and our first…make up….kiss”. 

Both flushed and embarassed. They hugged each other. “I love you and I am sorry, Seon Yul” I will be more honest. I never wanted to hurt you. “And I love you more, Soo Hyun” I am sorry I got mad but you were right over this. We need to be careful”. 

We will talk tomorrow. 

“Yes, and tell me about your nightmares, ok?” She replied back. He smiled. Then she left for the night. 

The world it seems is catching up to them slowly but surely. They cannot hide nor keep it a secret forever. 

(Last 2 chapters and an epilogue which will be the ending of this story. I already know the ending. I am sad to let this go but this has been a joy to write. Major drama awaits, buckle up! Again, thank you or reading and anticipating this every week or 2 weeks since I am very busy these days. I intent to finish this before Aug 5 when school starts. Fingers crossed!)

[trove-of-tales]

Three Attempts - Nikolai Lantsov

Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Reader Summary: When an assassin was hired to kill the infamous privateer of the Volkvolny, she finds herself less and less able to make the killing blow. Third times the charm, though, right? Warnings: Strong language, smut, violence, angst, Nikolai being a bit possessive and an author who doesn't know how to use Tumblr :) Word count: 10K

The Volkvolny was a pretty ship. It almost didn't belong in Ketterdam's 5th Harbour. Still, I couldn't complain about the placement.

It was easy to board the ship, sneaking passed each and every crewmate until I found a decent hiding place at the bow of the ship, behind some wooden crates. My eyes scanned the ship, catching sight of a flash of teal. 

Sturmhond was a well-known privateer, though he was younger than I'd expected him to be. He was tall, his hair an odd shade of red, eyes a muddy shade of green as he strolled next to a taller, buff man. Upon closer inspection, his nose was crooked, like it'd been broken too many times and not set properly. The man next to him was Tolya Yul-Bataar, my intel telling me he was close to the privateer. 

"Tamar would have your head if she found out you were gambling." Tolya grinned at the privateer.

"Can a privateer not indulge in games with his own money?" Sturmhond laughed.

"Not when he drinks too much and loses everything." Tolya retorted. They stood together, shoulders loose, talking amongst each other. 

I stayed silent, watching.

"Tolya!" A woman bellowed from the helm. 

Tolya cringed. "I'm going to get blamed for this, aren't I?"

"Ah, yes, I might have put a few rounds in your name." Sturmhond confessed, grinning. Tolya shot him a look before he stalked off to the woman. 

It was silent as Sturmhond stood mere feet away from me, gazing across the horizon, the sky darkening considerably. 

"If you plan to kill me, at least do me the honour of leaving my pretty face unmarked." He said into the silence of the sunset.

I froze. Surely not, he couldn't possibly have-

"My dear," He turned to the wooden crates. "As much as I adore the build up to an event, if you're going to kill me, I'd rather it be sooner, than later."

I stepped out from my hiding spot, squaring my shoulders. My dagger was gripped tightly in my right hand, the blade catching the light from the setting sun. Sturmhond grinned at me.

"Oh good, for a moment there I thought I was talking to the waves." I bit down a growl at his words. "I assume you've been hired, dove."

I say nothing as I stalk closer to him. He was tall and gangly; I could easily take him.

"Well, you've lost the advantage of taking me by surprise." He continued speaking. "Brute force is what I'd assume your next tactic is."

As he said that, I lunged. My blade centimetres from his throat, he caught my wrist and threw my arm away. I lunged again, aiming for his heart this time, where he sprang back, the blade nicking his bicep. I swept my leg out, plunging my blade towards his stomach. I missed every single time.

Sturmhond grabbed my wrist with surprising strength, holding my arm straight as he stood beside me. I grunted as I moved my other arm to catch the blade as I dropped it, but he held that arm too, kicking the dagger away from us. I panted, furious. 

His seawater scent, mixed with something expensive, floated around me as I glared at him. He tilted his head, eyes sparkling. 

"May I ask, my dear, why were you planning to kill me with a child's dagger?" He taunted. I stared at my dagger mere feet away from us.

I stayed silent, my nostrils flaring. I'd never missed a target before. None had sensed me before I’d killed them and yet, there he was, still alive. I'd boarded this miserable ship to kill him, and he wasn't dead. I growled darkly at him, trying to break his grip from my arms.

"Not very talkative, are we?" He squeezed my wrists tighter, and I found myself loosing a breath. He leant in close, moving to my front. "Do you know what I find so interesting about you assassins? You're all so utterly predictable."

I spat at him, my saliva landing on his left cheekbone.

He didn't flinch, the spit rolling down the side of his face, yet he made no move to wipe it off. Just squeezed my wrists tighter, causing me to wince.

"Shall we try that again?" He said, darkly.

"Get off me." I snarled.

He chuckled. "But you didn't answer my question, dove." I refused to speak. With a swift sweep of his foot, I was on the floor, Sturmhond kneeling above me, my wrists held above my head. My blade was pressed against my neck, so quickly I hadn't even seen him grab it. "I said, 'Shall we try that again?'"

I struggled beneath him. I hadn't expected him to be this strong. I'd expected a laid back, pole of a man, yet he'd pinned me down to the floor so effortlessly, not even a hitch in his breathing. I'd underestimated him.

At my surprise, Sturmhond grinned. The dagger was removed from my throat and placed in his belt. "Nice blade. I think it'll be lovely to add to my collection, don't you think?" He sat back on his thighs, legs still trapping my body to the ground. When I didn't answer he sighed, as though disappointed. 

The pirate stood, brushing off the invisible dirt from his teal coat. He stared at me, disinterested, before turning and walking towards the stairs. He paused, turning back to me expectantly. 

"Come along, dove." He said. "I hardly think above deck would be the best place for such a conversation. I'd hate to get my crewmates involved." He pointed at Tolya and the woman, Tamar, who were stood at the helm, glaring at me. "It's easier for you to follow me. I'm a lot gentler." He winked.

I glowered at him before moving to follow. At the end of the corridor, he opened a heavy door, stepping aside so that I entered first. It was a plain room, the most notable feature being the large desk in the centre. I realised my mistake as the door behind me slammed shut, lock clicking as Sturmhond turned the key, slipping it into his pocket. He'd locked me in here.

The room was silent around the two of us, eyes meeting, tension rolling. Scanning the room, I saw no other way to leave, just the locked door behind the privateer. Speaking of, his pond-water-green eyes studied me, closely.

I clenched my fists at my sides. He may have taken my dagger, but I could still fight my way out of this if it came down to it.

He smirked as he strolled closer. His eyes scanned me, leaving me exposed as I glowered at him. To myself, I wondered who the hunter really was, and who the hunted had become. "Do you have a name?"

I stayed silent. my chin held high. Internally, I was confused. He knew I was going to kill him and yet, there I stood, alive. Surely the smartest choice would’ve been to kill me before I killed him.

He sighed at my lack of answer. "So proud, dove. But I don't need a name, I suppose. Just exactly what you'd planned." His eyes turned cold, teeth clenching. He gestured to the seats at his desk. "Sit down."

I obeyed, sitting on the edge of the seat across from the larger chair behind his desk, which he took a seat on. He poured two glasses of amber liquid from a decanter before picking his own up, raising it to is lips, slowly.

He pushed my glass forward, my eyes scanning his hands. They were covered in nicks, cuts, scars, and calluses; the hands of a man who did heavy labour, and who did it frequently.

"Drink." He gestured to my glass. I hesitated, wondering if it could be poison. Though, if he wanted to kill me, I suspected he’d go for something a little less plain. I gave in, taking a large mouthful of the bitter liquid. I stifled a cough.

His eyes followed my every move. As I placed my drink down, his eyes narrowed again.

"It's not poison, if that's what you were wondering." He explained. "Just something to loosen the tongue. What do you know of me?" 

"You are Sturmhond. Privateer as you like to call yourself, but I prefer the term pirate." I spoke, voice low and threatening. He rose a brow.

"But Privateer just sounds better, wouldn't you think, my dear?" He smirked. "Nasty, dirty, violent things, pirates. With a term like Privateer, it commands respect. And really, I just smell too good to be a pirate. Continue."

"You're younger than I was told you were. And stronger." I told him, aggravated. "I was expecting a drunk stick of a man and yet..." I trailed off, eyes dragging over his body. "You're surprisingly strong."

He flexed, vainly, at me, causing me to draw me gaze away, disgusted. He let the comment go to his head, smirking. Pirates.

"And what else, dove?" He leaned forward in his seat, slightly, forearms pressing into the hard wood of his desk. He'd said the words quietly, like it was some sort of intimate question. His seawater scent washed over me again. His muddy green eyes seemed to change, like a forest at twilight, the bark still shining, but darkening as time went on. He stared at me, the room fading around us. I broke my gaze.

"You've pissed off some very powerful men. Powerful men that wish to see you dead." I crossed my arms, ignoring heat forming on the tips of my ears. "That's why I'm here."

He chuckled, a low and deep tone, his grin almost mocking. "My dear, you're going to have to be more specific than that. Most powerful men want me dead. I'd be surprised if there was one who didn't, at this rate." He leaned back in his chair, lazing on it like I hadn't threatened his life. "I suspect there are powerful men that want you dead, too. Tying up loose ends and all."

I snarled. "Powerful men don't want me dead. Powerful men want to hire me to kill people like you. And then hope they can spend the night with me." I told him, leaning forward on my seat, eyes a wildfire.

He was silent for a few moments, before he smirked, crossing his arms. "So, killing people like me, bedding powerful men, getting paid. Must be a very fulfilling life."

I scowled. "I kill people, I get paid, that's all there is to it. I don't care what they want from my body." I was in control; I was always in control.

"And I assume they pay you handsomely, to kill people like me." He purred. His tone was light, teasing, yet his body language was tensed, calculating. The room was silent as he studied me, eyes wandering over my figure. I shifted in my seat, unable to read the expression in his eyes, the hair on my arms stood up straight, bumps appearing on my skin.

He sighed.

"Tell me, dove. What does power feel like, to you?" He tried again, his voice suddenly sharp, dangerous. "What does the feeling of holding a life in the palm of your hand feel like?"

He laughed, cruelly.

"I'd imagine you take much joy in it."

I squared my shoulder as I stared at him. "It feels great." I lied through my teeth. I wouldn't let him see the real me, crawling beneath my skin as I watched him study me. I was the ruthless, cold-hearted assassin, and that's all he would see. All I would allow him to see. "It feels wonderful."

"And yet here I sit, alive." Sturmhond taunted. I flashed him a glare, my shoulders tense. "How much were they going to pay you?"

"Fifteen thousand kruge." I told him.

His eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure if I should be insulted. I'd expected a little more than that but..." His eyes met mine. "I'll double that, and we can pretend this never happened."

"There are four contracts against you. Putting the grand total at sixty thousand kruge." I smirked, unkindly. "Give me a better offer and I'll think about it."

"Such a clever little negotiator." He mocked. He grinned wickedly at me, my heart skipping a few beats. His eyes: something about them was dangerous, like a predator hiding in the bushes. He leaned closer and for a shocking moment, I felt what it was like to be the rabbit the fox hunted, hunger in the beast’s eyes. "Seventy-five thousand."

"One-hundred thousand, take it or leave it." I choked out.

The corners of his mouth curled. "I do think that's a bit unfair, dove." he stood, walking around the desk, sitting on it to my left. I turned, raising a brow. He grabbed my glass and refilled it, holding it out to me. "I suppose I may agree to your conditions."

"Do you have that much money, pirate?" I spat, taking a sip of the amber liquid. It burned as it made its way down my throat, my chest warming. 

He pulled a face. "Privateer. And why should I not have that much money?" He refilled his own glass, taking a swig of it as he placed the decanter down. His eyes traced me, a strange glint in his eyes. He oozed confidence. "What makes you think I couldn't pay even double that?"

"Because you're a lowlife scum pirate." I snarled. "You steal and kill and drink. No, I do not think you have a spare hundred thousand kruge lying around."

The small smirk faded from his lips, as he placed down his glass, turning to face me. "Do you know what I find funny?"

I stared at him.

He leaned forward, practically eye-level with me, mere inches from my face. "I could kill you, right here, right now. I don't have to pay you a single coin. You are defenceless and you sit in a locked room with me, with a severe disadvantage. And yet here I am, offering you more money than you'd get if you'd killed me, and you still think you have the advantage?"

The humour in his gaze was gone, and I could truly see why this man commanded respect and fear wherever he found himself. And there I was, poking the bear.

"I'd like to see you try." I challenged, breathing out, sharply.

He said nothing, and for a moment I thought he'd actually do it. That he'd tired of the circles we'd run and was finally going for the killing blow. His face softened and he scooted closer along the desk as he gazed at me. "Join me."

I stood from my chair, walked past him and over to the locked door. Sturmhond stayed sat on his desk, watching me. I ignored him, pulling two lock picks from my corset and inserting them into the lock of the door. I could feel his gaze on my back as the door clicked and I swung it open, pausing in the doorway.

"The next time we meet, I won't miss." I promised. "I will kill you and you will not be expecting it." I did not turn to see his face.

He chuckled, the sound causing my shoulders to tense. "Try," He simply said. I heard his footsteps echo closer to where I stood. "Try again. I dare you."

I curled my lip. "I won't need to try. I know I'll succeed." With that, I began to walk up the stairs. 

Sturmhond caught my arm, pulling me to a halt as we reached the deck. The hair along my arms rose and my skin pebbled. I felt his breath against the back of my ear, his body heat hitting my back. He was too close.

"Are you so sure you want to take that risk?" He mumbled, voice low and gravelly. The deck faded around us as my senses reduced to him and how close he was.

I said nothing.

It was silent for a few moments, neither of us making a motion to move away. He sighed, the feeling bouncing off the back of my ear and the side of my neck. He let go of my arm and stepped back, coldness filling the space at my back once more. I was thankful for the cover of the night sky. 

"You're free to go." He said, coldly. I still refused to turn to him, my gaze resting upon the railings at his ship. "But I await your next attempt." There was an underlying threat to his words.

I jumped from the railings, disappearing from view. The further I got away from the Volkvolny, the better I would feel.

-

It was several months later before I tried again.

The Volkvolny had docked at Novyi Zem, and its privateer had booked an Inn not far from Weddle. It was a decent Inn, the walls thick, freshly painted and not chipping, a door that locked, a wonderful windowsill I'd perched on as I stared into the darkness of his room. I'd acquired a new dagger after Sturmhond had taken mine, this one a beautiful glittering silver, bronze handle decorated and delicate.

The room was simple, a wardrobe propped up near the door, a small vanity with an even smaller chair. I took note of the teal coat draped over it. Finally, two bedside tables bracketed a large queen-sized bed. And on that bed, a pirate sprawled out on his back, soft snores filling the room. The only thing wrong with the Inn? The windows didn't lock.

I crept silently into the room, shutting the windows behind me. The only light being from the oil lamps outside on the street, the room otherwise dark. I stood by his bed, dagger raised, ready to deliver the killing blow.

And yet, I found myself hesitating.

I watched him, his oddly coloured red hair splayed across his forehead, messily. A callused hand rested on his chest, the other tucked beneath his pillow. His lips were parted, soft snores escaping, and his eyelids would flicker every so often, signalling his dreaming state. It would be so easy to kill him, just one perfectly placed plunge of my dagger... so why could I not do it?

A mumble came from him, his lips quirking into a slight smile as he dreamed. This pirate, who had killed and stolen for fun, looked so innocent in the light of the oil lamps outside. His brows creased in the centre, and I found myself wanting to smooth it out with my thumb.

I took in a deep breath, steadying my shoulders, the dagger raised above his heart. I faltered again. Why? Why could I not kill him? 

My grip on my dagger was so tight, the hilt seemed to tremble, as I hesitated again and again. Did I doubt myself? Was that why I couldn't do it? Or did the guilt of killing so many finally rear its head at the final moment?

And then, he moved. My heart raced as he began to shift, groaning lowly in his throat. I stood utterly still as he stretched his arms above his head, sighing as he released the tension of his shoulders. His eyes flickered open, dark in the night's cover, yet I knew they were still that strange, murky green.

As though he sensed me, Sturmhond's eyes locked with mine and I froze. He said nothing as his eyes studied me, up and down, the room silent. Then, he grinned.

"I thought you promised to kill me." He spoke, his voice rough with sleep. He let out a cruel chuckle. "I suppose I'm a little disappointed you didn't even try. I picked this room especially for us."

My nostrils flared and I lunged at him, pressing my dagger against his neck as I pinned him to the bed, my knees framing his sides, crouched on top of him. My breathing was quick, rushed, as I scowled at him. I had killed countless people before him. I had succeeded at every single one of them.

And yet-

He laughed, this time a soft chuckle, eyes shining in the dull light as he stared up at me. He made no move to defend himself, to push me from his chest. Instead, he spoke, carelessly as though asking about the weather.

"Well, my dear... what are you waiting for?"

I pressed my blade harder against his neck, nostrils flaring as I watched a single drop of blood collect on the metal. Yet I could not kill him. No matter how much I fought with my mind, I could not do it. With an enraged yell, I threw the dagger across the room and rested my head on his chest, fisting his sleep shirt in my hands.

It was silent before he spoke again.

"Why?" His voice was soft.

"I don't know." I growled at him. I was hired to kill him and yet it was impossible for my hand to do as I said. He was insufferable and I hated him, but why could I not kill him?

He raised his head, slightly, causing my gaze to snap to him. His hand slid up and bunched the hair at my nape in his fingers.

"You've waited so long to kill me, dove," His lips brushed my throat as he spoke, voice almost silent. His seawater scent surrounded me. "And you failed, again."

I pushed myself away from him, stung by his words, the feeling of his lips still a phantom touch against my throat. His hand was still curled into my hair, loosening the band that held its braid. Strands fell down by my face, yet all I could see was his murky green eyes.

"Just join me." He whispered. As he spoke, his eyes grew heavy, the usual twinkle in his eyes darkening. "You know it's easier for you to just give in and join me."

"I refuse." I told him. "I'm here to kill you."

It was silent as he pondered my words, before the fox-like look returned to his eyes. He grinned, gripping my hair at the nape of my neck, giving him full control.

"Still so stubborn, even though she's on the losing side." He purred. I stiffened in his grasp, his breath hitting my face. I lost my words. "Just join my crew."

I shook my head as much as his grip allowed, eyes lidded.

"I'm an assassin, I don't belong to any crew."

He ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "Then why haven't you killed me yet?" He said, darkly. "Tell me why."

I shook my head, hands pressed against his chest, face turned away from him. He was beneath me, yet I had the sinking feeling I wasn't the one in control. His voice was gravelly due to his slumber mere minutes ago, and he whispered into the silence of the room. 

His other hand took my chin, gently, and turned my face back to his. "Tell me." He said, lowly, finger stroking my jaw. "Or I will give you a reason."

My eyes fluttered closed, but still, I said nothing. 

His grip tightened on my jaw, and I let out a sharp whimper, eyelids flying open. I flushed as his eyes widened. The fox-like look was back on his face, grinning cruelly at me. He leaned upwards, slightly breathing on my face, and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Still no answer?" I breathed out at his question, eyes fluttering closed again. The silence of the room was deafening, and goosebumps appeared on my skin at the tone of his voice. "Should I give you a reason to stay?" His eyes were dark as he took me in.

"You're a pirate." I whispered. "I refuse to belong to a pirate."

He let out a sharp laugh, the sound rumbling underneath me, where I was still perched on his chest. "Privateer. But I'll teach you the difference." his finger stroked my jaw, up and down, gently. "I think it's a very good offer."

"Why would I possibly want to join you?" I snarled. "I've played the part of looking like some cheap piece of jewellery, hanging off someone's arm. I work alone."

"Not even for the money? The thrill of killing? You'd make a wonderful addition to my crew." He nosed up my neck, speaking slowly. "All it takes is one word."

"No."

He pulled his face back, biting his lip as he studied me. Whatever he found must have amused him because he chuckled again. 

"You're a challenge, dove. Maybe that's why I enjoy your presence so much." His hands withdrew from my jaw and hair, and he brought them underneath his head, smiling lazily. "If you're so against joining my crew, leave. I won't stop you."

The window was to my left. I could slip out and not look back, leave him there, smug and alone. I made no move to leave.

He laughed again, his voice almost silken, enjoying the conflict within me. "So, what is your answer?" He purred.

My gaze flickered to his lips, the tongue that poked out to wet them, before I remembered myself and met his eyes, glaring fiercely.

"You were so vocal just now; don't tell me you've turned shy." He grinned. "Just tell me your answer. Stay with me, or leave. I think I know what it'll be." His gaze flickered down to my lips as he spoke, lowly.

"No," I trembled. My heart beat loudly in my ears, my breathing faster than its usual controlled speed.

"That's not an answer, dove." He told me, smiling. The window was there, I could step off him, and leave. But I felt frozen to my place on his chest. "Leave now, like you should do. Or stay."

Saints, he was making this hard. I knew I should leave. Leave before this progressed. But perhaps... just for one night I could entertain this. Just for the night.

"Stay?" My voice was quiet. I sat, frozen, on top of him, eyes lidded.

His smile widened as he watched me. "Yes." There was something final in his voice, almost sounding like the word 'forever'. He sat up, his face inches from mine. "Well?"

His voice was soft and cruel and sweet, something so very powerful in it that I felt myself nodding before I'd even heard what he said. A low chuckle filled my ears, turned my words numb on my tongue. My heart gave a sharp pang and fluttered dangerously.

"Are you mine?" He asked.

I'd agree. Just for tonight I'd agree. Indulge myself. And while he slept, I would leave. I formed the plan in my head, feeling my limbs lose all strength.

"Yes," I whispered.

His face lit up, a dangerous glint to his eyes. I could almost see fangs as he grinned viciously at me. He pulled me closer, flushed against his chest, his words a whisper and he brought his mouth to my ear, his eyes glittering like obsidian. 

"Good girl..." I shivered, visibly. "Now say it. Say the words. Say 'I am yours.'"

I hesitated.

He tilted his head, dangerously. "Come on," He purred, mouth working into a cruel smile, hunger in his eyes. "Say the words, dove."

"I'm yours." I breathed out, panting slightly. The words felt so good on my tongue, as they formed in my mouth, as I uttered them to him. And I found myself uncaring for my safety.

He grinned, corners of his mouth curling up, eyes lighting up as I spoke. His eyes told me everything, every desire, every action, knowing he could do anything, and I would take what scraps I could.

His hand returned to the nape of my neck, fisting my hair as he shoved me forward, his lips claiming mine. It was not soft, it was not gentle or tender. It was hungry and it was wild and it was exactly what I'd wanted. 

"You're mine." He growled against my lips, and there is something dangerous in those words.

I could not speak, could not reply to him, my mind a jumble as he kissed me, harshly.

Whatever calm composure he'd had left shattered completely as he laughed, a cruel sounding laugh, as he pulled back to observe me. I sat, panting in his lap, dazed. His other hand reached up to stroke my cheek, gently. I leaned into the touch.

"You belong to me." He hissed. I did not reply. His gaze softened. "I will treat you well." He promised. At my lack of attention, he brought my gaze to his with his hand on my jaw, tight enough to ground me. "You will not leave."

I nodded, even though I knew that by morning when he woke, I would be gone.

Something flashed in his eyes as he stared at me, nostrils flaring. I knew he didn't believe me as he leaned closer, kneeling on the bed this time, my own figure sliding off his lap, kneeling with him. The hand at my nape withdrew, but the one on my jaw tightened. 

I felt like the rabbit again as the fox towered over me.

"Give me your word." He said, lowly. "Give me your word that you will not leave, or you will have to beg me to stop." It felt more of a promise than a threat.

I trembled. From where the two of us knelt on the large bed, my knees gave out and I sat down, Sturmhond looming over me. And he watched it happen, his eyes shining as he cupped my face, bringing his head closer to where I was sat. 

"I like it when you tremble for me." His fingers continued to stroke my cheek. I leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering. He laughed at my movement, causing a flush to build on my cheeks. But I craved more, more than just a touch to my face, more than just his words. And he knew it. "You're mine, dove. Doesn't it feel better, to not lie to yourself anymore? To give in."

I found my hands moving by themselves, reaching up to tug at the ties of his sleep shirt. His eyes flickered in slight surprise, before they darkened once more. He let me have that, the first hint of freedom of the night. The smirk on his face told me all; he'd won, he did not care that I could pretend to have control in this moment, because he'd already won.

His shirt loosened and my hands faltered, dropping to my sides as I lost my nerve. His eyes flashed with amusement. 

"Go on." He purred. "Do as you will. I am yours as much as you are mine."

With my heart beating, I grabbed the ends of his shirt and lifted it over his head. I'd seriously underestimated him the first time I'd seen him. As he knelt above me, I took in the sight of his bare torso. His arms were veined and sculpted, meeting broad shoulders. His chest was firm as he breathed evenly. I lowered my gaze downwards, trailing over his abs and to the line of his pelvis that disappeared under his pants. If I hadn't been sat down before, I would've slumped to my feet immediately at the sight of him. I found myself filled with want.

I shivered.

He grinned at my subtle movement, cruel and amused. "Just my shirt and I have you drooling," He purred. "But come now, don't be cruel. I do believe it’s your turn, hm?"

My fingers reached for the ties of my corset, pulling and loosening as his eyes watched me, head tilted. Deciding I'd taken too long, he batted my hands aside and almost ripped the corset from me, letting it fall at my waist. He started on my shirt next, unbuttoning each and every delicate clasp. He shoved the shirt off my shoulders and pulled the corset over my head, breathing in the sight of me. I flushed.

He leaned his neck down and captured my lips in his again, overpowering me easily. I breathed in a gasp against his lips, closing my eyes. His hands gripped my waist, thumbs rubbing circles before one of them trailed lower, fingers brushing my hips, knuckles caressing my stomach. It moved lower still, gentle, and delicate.

"It's a beautiful thing, you know?" He mumbled against my lips, his other hand pulling me up to kneel again, palm firm against my back. "To surrender, to belong, to give yourself over to someone who knows what you desire, someone who will keep you safe and happy."

His hand stopped, fingers curling under the waistline of my pants. "Now surrender to me, dove."

I breathed out, leaning into his touch. "More." I asked.

The cruel glint in his eyes was back, the hand at my back curling its fingers in a beckoning motion, chills breaking out along my skin. The hand I needed stayed in place.

"More?" He smirked. "You want more? You'll have to ask nicely, my dear. Tell me what you want, full sentences, say 'I want more.'"

His gaze turned feral.

"Say it."

"I want more." I whispered. "Please."

His grin was triumphant. He watched me as his hand moved, curling beneath my waistband, disappearing beneath the fabric. 

"Good girl." He whispered. "So polite."

The hand continued, passed my hip, my lower stomach, beneath the edges of my underwear, his lips pulled into a cruel smirk, a look I didn't recognise flashing in his eyes. The hand moved slowly. Down.

I let out a sharp gasp.

My heartbeat sped up, my breathing hitched as he pulled his hand away, fingers resting on my lower stomach. "You like it, don't you? It feels good, doesn't it?" The hand at my back pulled me closer into him, my head tucked beneath his chin my arms wrapping around his shoulders, nearly holding myself up as my legs shook, slightly. "And yet I can take my hand away and there's nothing you could do about it, dove." To prove a point, his fingers wiggled against my lower stomach, so close to where I needed but still so far away.

I squeezed my eyes shut, mentally begging him to move his hand lower once more, the brief touch not nearly enough. "Please."

His breath was hot as he angled his head down, hitting the sides of my neck. His lips brushed the tip of my ear. "Please." He mocked, knowing no matter how much I'd begged, he still had the final word.

But, he'd been cruel enough, so he dragged his fingers down again, beneath the line of my underwear and cold fingers touched where I'd needed most. My breath caught at the touch, stiffening in his hold before relaxing against his chest, slumping over. I released a breath.

One finger circled the apex of my thighs, cold but nimble. The rest spread me, slightly, letting him move easier. I jolted against him, fists curling, arms tightening around his shoulders.

"Saints." I whimpered.

"Saints?" His voice mocked me. He halted his finger in place, ignoring my slight sound of confusion. "No saint will help you now. I am your saint. I am your everything. There is no escape."

With a sharp thrust, his middle finger entered me. I cried out, startled. My knees trembled where I knelt, my arms around his shoulders and Sturmhond's hand on my back the only things that kept me upright. He thrusted a couple times, dragging out to swipe his finger over my entirety, before he plunged back in. A second finger joined, thumb circling my apex. I breathed faster, choked gasps leaving me as he fingers curled. His hand left my back, cupping my face and bringing my lips to his, my neck bent backwards to reach his height. His kiss took over, my sounds interrupting my attempts at trying to kiss back.

My knees wobbled, my thighs tensed, and I felt the tell-tale sign of my incoming release. I rolled my hips against his palm, breathing through my mouth, as his lips left mine to trail my throat. My stomach fluttered at one particularly angled thrust, and I was pushed over the edge, squeezing around his fingers, arms tight around his neck as my body jumped and trembled. As I came down, Sturmhond aimed a few more cruel, but well aimed, thrusts into me before withdrawing his hand entirely from my pants, resting against my bare stomach. My knees finally gave up as I crashed down onto the bed again, shivering.

The room was silent.

"Good girl," He mumbled into my hair, hand stroking my jaw. I blinked, before I shuffled closer to him, hands fumbling with his belt. He stayed silent as he watched me, his belt loosening before I worked on the drawstrings of his pants. I unlaced them, messily, know that he could stop me at any moment, take control of the situation, leaving me to tremble in want.

"So frantic, dove." Sturmhond belittled. I tugged his pants down before he stopped me, grabbing my hands, smirking. "Must I remind you who's in control here?"

I choked on a gasp as he pressed his lips to mine, hard. I teetered backwards, and found myself laying on my back, at his mercy. He didn't break the kiss, moving to rest above me, hands either side of my head. He withdrew, slightly, smirking.

"Well, my dear." He nipped my bottom lip. "Are you satisfied?"

I tried, one final time to regain some semblance of myself. "You could do better."

His eyes lit up at the challenge. A laugh rumbled in his chest. "Oh, you think so?" One hand moved to grip my hip. "Perhaps another demonstration is in order." In a flash, he'd gripped both my wrists and pinned them, with one hand, above my head. 

He leaned down, nose to nose.

"Show me what you want."

"Please." My voice encouraged his grip to tighten around my wrists, the one at my hip squeezing in sync.

"Please? Is that all you have to say for yourself, tonight?" He laughed again. Not kindly. The laugh of someone who knew their power over another. "What did I say? You're all so predictable, you assassins. Now, try again. Full sentences."

I let out a soft moan at his words, clenching my eyes shut, embarrassed.

His eyes gleamed. "Just from my words?" He smirked. "Do you like it when I speak to you like that?"

I lifted my hips, slightly, before I remembered who was above me, lowering them again. I turned my face away from him in a final act of defiance.

"You were so good for me earlier." He shook his head at me, feigning disappointment. Though I knew it was an act, I felt a pang in my chest. "Say it. Say what you want."

"Please, please." 

He shook his head again. "Must I do everything? Are you too dumb to speak, dove?" He taunted. His eyes were hungry, his teeth gleaming like fangs. I needed more. I needed him. "What do you want, dove? What do you need?"

"You!" I finally caved.

The sound was sudden in the silence of the room. Sturmhond's eyes widened and glittered as he heard my words. I recognised the look, now. He needed me as much as I needed him.

"Well, my dear." He cooed. "It seems you've given yourself to me, have you not?" His voice was cruel again, but there was an edge to it.

"Yes. Yes, just please-" My eyes burned. His gaze darkened at the break in my voice. He leaned in again, lips a breath away from my own. 

"Have me." I begged him. Though, as he heard my words, his hand released my wrists. I panicked as he started to move away from me, leaving a chill so deep, it seemed to seep into my bones. I cried out, softly, as he moved away from me.

He shushed me, hand caressing my cheek, thumb smoothing over my cheekbone. "I'm here, dove."

He began to work on my pants, unbuckling my belt, undoing the tiny buttons that clasped the front of my pants together. He tugged them free from my legs, working on his own, leaving us in just our underwear.

"How desperate are you, dove?" His growled, one hand caressing my hip, the other placed beside my head, propping himself up. "How badly do you want me to 'have you?'"

"Yes, yes, please." My eyes fluttered. 

"Do you want to give yourself to me? Is this what you want?" Sturmhond's dark gaze gave way to a softer look, one I did not recognise. "Do you want me, dove? This is the last time I'm going to ask."

"I want you." I confessed.

He nearly shuddered, but he forced his composure to remain steady. "Good girl." I was the one to shudder. "Get on all fours."

I shivered at the command, hesitating. Seeing his expectant gaze, I flipped myself over onto my stomach, hands and knees pushing myself up on the bed. Sturmhond knelt behind me. I tensed as his hands slid under my hips, rubbing small circling, gripping almost bruisingly. 

"Beg for me. You owe me that much." He commanded.

"Please. Please, Sturmhond." I begged. I was his puppet, made to dance for his amusement.

I felt him tense behind me. "Good girl." He whispered, stroking my hips as he leaned forward, breath hitting my back. I arched my spine as his lips kissed the small of my back. He watched as I shivered before him. I lifted my hips slightly, wiggling the smallest amount, embarrassed to verbalise what I wanted. What I needed.

I couldn't see his reaction to my movement, but it must have been well received as I heard a low rumble of his chest, his fingers reaching out to finger the waistband of my underwear.

"Do you want more?" His voice was soft, losing the cruel tone he'd had for most of the night.

I nodded, eager. He pressed my hips backwards, resting my ass against his front. I tensed at the hardness I found. 

"So eager." He complimented. "So perfect."

I sighed, deeply, unable to find my words. I let him take control, willing to do whatever he asked of me. He rolled his hips, slowly. 

"You want me to take you, dove? Do you feel safe enough to let me do that?" Despite his heavy panting, he still hesitated as he held the waistband on my underwear.

"Yes." I whispered.

I heard him take a sharp intake of breath before I felt his body shift. For a moment, I was worried he might pull away, but the squeeze of his large hands at my hips soothed my fluttering heart.

"Then let me take you." He growled, eased my underwear down to my bent knees. He spread me again, with his fingers, massaging the nerves between my thighs. I shuddered, biting back a groan. He withdrew, causing a cry to erupt from my throat. "Want to see you." He told me.

With gentle hands, the gentlest he'd been tonight, he flipped me onto my back, kneeling before me, resting his ass on his heels, underwear still on. His eyelids were heavy, pupils dilated. He studied me, not moving. I whimpered, impatient.

I moved my hand downwards, seeing as he made no move to touch me. I watched as his gaze flickered to my hand, lip curling. He snatched my hand up, face dark. I felt my eyes water in frustration.

"Please, I'll be good, just touch me." I pleaded. He smirked.

"Of course you'll be good." He taunted. 

Within seconds, he'd entered me with two fingers, collecting the wetness that had dripped from me. As he coaxed more from me, his other hand pushed his underwear down, his length springing up, flushed. I stared. With his hand covered in my wetness, he slid his length into his grip, groaning as he covered himself. One, two, three pumps and he took his hand away, the left-over wetness cooling against my skin as he gripped my hips in both hands. Lining up with my entrance, he eased in, slowly.

I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes. I faintly heard his groan above me as he rested, still, only the first inch inside. After a moment, he pressed further.

"Fuck!" I cried out, hands gripping the sheets, not knowing where else to go. His grip on my hips turned bruising. His hips met mine in a soft kiss, bone bumping against bone. I panted and whined as he stayed in place, hearing his own heaving breaths.

As he dragged himself out, slowly, I felt myself clench subconsciously. Sturmhond stumbled forward, arm catching himself by my head, holding himself above me. I grabbed him, looped my arms around his neck and brought his lips to mine. He groaned into my lips as he began to set a steady pace, my hips rolling in time with his.

Sharp, angled thrusts replaced the long, slow drags of his hips against mine and I felt my eyes flutter shut in pleasure. The hand not holding himself up explored my body, starting at my neck, down to my chest, circling at my hips before it edged down and pinched my mound of nerves. I threw my head back, breaking his overpowering kiss, echoing a moan throughout the room. 

"Saints." Sturmhond spat, feeling me clench around him. In the light from outside, his muddy green eyes seemed to darken to an almost hazel colour, and the broken crooked part of his nose seemed softer. I knew I couldn't trust myself to gaze at him in this state, but his face seemed different somehow. 

At a particularly powerful thrust, Sturmhond angled his hips in just the right place, leaving me shouting into the quiet of the room. He repeated his movement, thumb circling in time with his thrusts and I felt as my breathing grew heavier, my heart pounding in my ears, stomach fluttering and tensing.

a bite to the side of my neck had me screeching, hips bucking as pleasure rolled from in between my legs, to below my naval and straight back down again, like a lightning strike. I felt my eyes roll, heaving moans following as I rode the wave of my high. Distantly, Sturmhond continued to thrust, until he too, groaned and leaped over the edge, his hips gradually stilling against mine, rolling softly as the last stars of pleasure left my eyes.

I shuddered as he pulled out, feeling the trickle of fluid slide down to my ass, collecting beneath me on the bed. I rested a hand against my lower stomach, still dazed. I felt the bed dip to my left, Sturmhond crashing down next to me, on his back.

We breathed in silence, in sync, panting as our minds caught up to the present. I felt him move, sliding off the bed with dragging footsteps as he wandered around the room. I heard a door open, realising he'd had an en suite bathroom. Maybe being a privateer did pay well, after all.

The sound of a tap running was all I could hear. Distantly, I felt sorry for the Innkeeper, knowing we'd made a slight mess... perhaps been a bit too loud. 

Sturmhond's heavy footsteps trudged back to me before I felt the bed dip at my feet. With warm, large hands, he gripped the backs of my knees and separated my legs. I sucked in a large breath.

"Just cleanin' you up." Sturmhond slurred, sounding almost drunk.

I felt another trickle and heard his breath hitch. A soft touch of a wet towel pressed itself again me. My toes curled and my thighs tensed, but he persisted. Every rough scrape of the towel had me twitching, toes flexing. Fuck, I could barely think straight.

A puff of breath between my thighs had my stomach jumping. I glanced down to see Sturmhond's heavily lidded eyes focused on my swollen flesh. 

"You're stunning, dove." He mumbled. The towel was discarded by his side as he crept closer, hands resting on my inner thighs, making sure I couldn't close them as he took in the view.

My head flew back as his tongue struck out, licking from the bottom to the top, circling at my apex.

"You were so good for me." He growled, the sound vibrating against me, travelling up my spine. I arched, sensitive.

"Oh, Saints, please." I didn't know what I was begging for, but the words flew from my lips all the same. Another rumble vibrated against me as he chuckled. "Fuck!"

"Not quite yet, my dear. I need some time to recover." He teased. I opened my mouth to swear at him when he enclosed him lips around my nub and hummed. I spasmed, pushed almost to the edge, losing my words. "What was that, dove?"

My eyes rolled as he released me, words forming, then failing on my tongue.

Sturmhond's own tongue burrowed deep into me, curling inside before withdrawing and flattening against my entirety. I shuddered.

I lost track of time as he flicked and sucked and plunged his tongue into me, my eyes clenching, the space between my thighs doing the same. His name was lost on my lips, pleads half forming before the next stroke scattered my words again.

Two fingers joined at some point, curling upwards in a beckoning motion, his tongue twirling over my nub. Every so often he would clamp his lips shut, suck and then hum, causing my toes to curl and my legs to shake.

He timed the finale, adding a third finger, thrusting in quickly and curling up, just as his teeth scraped my nub.

I shouted, screamed as my hips lifted off the bed, not knowing if I was chasing his touch or trying to escape it. I felt my legs shake as they held me up, my stomach clenching, fluttering and jumping as pleasure raced down my spine. He continued the assault until I flopped, boneless, onto the bed, struggling to breathe as the pleasure faded and I went numb.

When I came back to myself, I first registered the hands stroking my thighs. Sturmhond sat at my feet, large hands clasping my thighs, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into my skin. He had a strangely fond look on his face as he stared at me, watching as I blinked the leftover tears away from my eyes. 

I yelped as the towel pressed itself to me again.

"It's okay." He shushed me. "I'm only cleaning you up, nothing else this time."

He cleaned me up, quickly, my thighs now dry, though my skin still flaming and sensitive. He returned the damp towel to the bathroom and scooped me up, resting my head against the pillows, as I'd previously been laying with my head at the foot of the bed. He placed a fresh towel over the mess we'd made and slid in behind me into the bed, pulling the covers over us.

"Couldn't resist." He mumbled into my hair; arm slung around my waist. "Tasted so good. Sounded so pretty."

I was too exhausted to even flush at his remarks.

"Did so good for me." His hand rubbed soothing circles into my stomach. "Took it so well."

And I couldn't speak. The dynamic we'd built had broken, leaving something softer. No more tension between us, something raw left in its wake. 

It kept me awake until the morning, when the sun shone through the window, illuminating his face.

The face that didn't belong to Sturmhond.

-

I'd stayed away for two months.

Away from the man I'd been hired to kill, away from the man that had left me dazed on the bed of an Inn. Away from the man who wasn't what he'd seemed.

I'd found myself in West Ravka. I'd searched for his ship, The Volkvolny, for the last month, finally tracing it to Os Kervo. I'd stayed in the shadows, not knowing whether to approach or not.

He was dressed in his usual teal coat, haggling with some stall owner. His hair was its usual shade of off-red, cheeks flushed in the sunlight. It seemed he was succeeding in his haggling, the stall owner waving a hand in defeat, nodding at the privateer. He handed them a few folded notes, picking up whatever he'd bought from them and sliding it into his pocket. He turned to observe another stall when his murky green eyes met mine. His face lit up; eyes gleaming as I froze from my spot in the nearest alleyway. 

Dodging the heaving crowd, Sturmhond made his way over to where I stood, my heart pounding. I wanted to run, but he'd made my decision for me, entering the alleyway with a grin.

"Hello, dove." He greeted, leaning against the brick wall. 

I lost the words I'd been practicing for a week. 

"It's so good to finally see you, my dear." His eyes flashed with something cold, yet he seemed to reign in it. "Tell me, did you enjoy your time away from me?"

I swallowed, thickly.

"You can't have enjoyed it that much if you're here, before me, now." His eyes glowed. "To come back so soon after you promised you wouldn't leave. Was it guilt that brought you back? Or just greed."

He took a step closer towards me, my own feet stepping back. His controlled demeanour changed, nostrils flaring.

"Tell me, dove."

"I don't know." I told him, unable to confess the true reason.

He tilted his head. "You don't know?" His voice was steady, but there was a hint of rage threatening to rear its head from his clutches. "Are you sure you're telling the truth, my dear. Or do you just want me, greedy little thing."

"I've had you already." I hissed, venomously. "I'm just deciding if it was good enough."

A lie. Sturmhond had done things to me those two months ago that my hands couldn't even begin to replicate, no matter how I'd tried. What had really shaken me, though, was the emptiness I felt at night.

He blinked before smirking at me, taunting in the way I was familiar with. Good, let him hate me, the rawness of his voice as he held me that night had been too much to handle.

"You know good and well that it was more than good enough." He growled. "I distinctly remember your legs shaking so hard, I thought you'd foam at the mouth."

I snarled at leapt at him, pressing him against the wall of the alleyway and holding my dagger to his throat. Just like the two previous times. Always the same thing, never able to make the kill.

I saw the flash of hurt in his eyes. Only lasting a second, but it shook me all the same. He grinned at me, an unbothered façade on his face.

"And here we are again." He baited. "You can try and kill me, dove, but we both know you'll never be strong enough."

My heart clenched.

He leaned in, voice dark and cruel and thick with an emotion I refused to recognise. "You're so weak for someone so determined. I almost feel pity for you." His teeth shone like fangs. "So why can't you finish this? Third time's the charm, dove. Do it, kill me."

"I have tried!" I snapped. My dagger felt weak in my hand. "Three times I have tried to kill you and I cannot do it. I know you don't truly care for me but, Saints, I can't help the way my heart beats for you."

It was silent. Sturmhond's hand reached up and clasped my hand, uncurling my grasp from my dagger. I heard the clang as it hit the ground.

"Oh, dove." He whispered. I turned my face away, but he brought it back with his fingers on my jaw. I leaned into the touch. "And who told you I do not care for you?" His voice was soft, gentle, my heart fluttering at his words.

"Because you cannot." I told him. I dug into my pocket and shoved a crumpled letter into his chest. "Your nature is to lie. And I refuse to be used by you for your benefit, just to be left alone. I will not be broken by you."

"What are you talking about?" Sturmhond took the letter from me. "I would never do that to you. I would never pretend to love you, just to leave you later."

I turned away from him, leaning against the alleyway wall opposite him, sliding down it until I rested against the ground. I buried my head in my knees.

He refused to even glance at the letter, kneeling down before me, reaching an arm out, touching my arm, gently.

"Please, dove. Believe me on this." He leaned in closer, his hand wrapping around my own. "Please, please, my dear."

I felt my eyes tear up, betraying the stern look I'd tried to keep on my face.

His hands cupped my face, forcing me to face him. I stared into the false-green. "I would never-" His voice was desperate. 

"I don't know what to do." I confessed. "I can't kill you; I can't lose you and yet, I cannot allow myself to be hurt by you."

"I wouldn't..." Sturmhond furrowed his brows before he remembered the letter by his side. "I wouldn't hurt you. My heart yearns for you."

��A wave of emotions rushed through me. He sounded so honest, yet I feared for my heart.

"Don't lie to me." I whispered.

He looked at me, startled. "I'm not. Dove, what makes you think-"

"Because you are lying to me right now, Nikolai!" I snapped. His eyes widened at my words, frozen on the spot. I growled and stood up. "The men that hired me to kill you. They wrote to me, a week after I'd left you, upping the bounty. You're Prince Nikolai, aren't you. Sturmhond is just your persona."

The alleyway was silent. 

"You're angry at me for not telling you who I really was." Sturm- Nikolai growled, standing up, towering over me. "For not telling an assassin my true identity? Like it would have made a difference! You stand there and call me a liar, when you never even told me your name."

I faltered before my nostrils flared. "That is different!" My chest heaved. "I wasn't lying about who I was!"

"And if I had told you? Would it have made a difference to your plans to kill me? Or would it have just motivated you more?" He glowered at me. 

"It would if you hadn't fucked me before I found out!" I cried. He snapped his mouth closed. "Do you know how used I felt? Turning over to see the face of someone completely different to the man who'd made me feel so special the night previous. I felt lied to, used. And no, I wouldn't have killed you if I'd have known you were a prince. I hunt pirates, Nikolai. Not good men."

Nikolai breathed heavily as he listened to my words, eyes unreadable. 

"I knew of Prince Nikolai's reputation. I would never have dared to kill him after all he's done for his country." I said, energy leaving me. "I'd planned to kill Sturmhond because he was a threat to my country and the people I protect. And yes, it paid well. But I wasn't going to kill you after that night."

He stared at the dagger on the ground.

"Then what was that about?" He asked me. "Pinning me against the wall, dagger at my throat?"

"That is what happens when a woman is scorned. By a prick of a pirate and a coward of a prince." I seethed.

"Privateer." He corrected, softly.

I scoffed yet found no energy to fight him. 

"You expect my love when you've shown me no reason to let you have it." I told him.

"I expect nothing from you, dove." Nikolai whispered. His eyes met mine, the muddy green still covering the colour I now knew they truly were. The ones I'd seen in the lamplight from outside. Hazel. "I'd like nothing more than for you to love me. But I don't expect- won't demand that from you. I only ask you to be honest with me."

"My heart tells me to want you. But my mind tells me to run from you." I confessed. "What do I listen to?"

"I can't answer that for you, dove." Nikolai admitted. 

It was silent for a moment. "Y/n." I told him. "That's my name."

Nikolai breathed out, nodding his head. He repeated my name, like he was testing how it felt on his tongue. 

"No more secrets." Nikolai promised. He stepped closer to me, hand cupping my cheek. "Just Nikolai and y/n. I yearn for you. And I want to give us a chance, dove."

I leaned into his palm.

"So please, don't leave." He whispered. "I swear to you with everything I have that I will prove myself to be loved by you. I am in love with you."

"No more lies." I whispered as he stepped closer to me. 

He shook his head. "I swear to you."

He brought me in closer, lips brushing mine. So tender, so gentle. I thought of how feverishly he'd kissed me on that night two months ago. I sighed into his lips, leaning forward, and pressing my lips harder against his. His fingers brushed my cheek.

-

The Volkvolny was known by most: pirates, merchants, kings. Its captain was infamous, ruthless. His hair an uncanny shade of red, eyes a murky green, nose crooked, like it had been broken too many times and set wrong. 

His quartermaster was as equally infamous. She killed for him, hunted for him. They were matched in combat, but she usually did the dirty work. Sturmhond was happy to indulge his Zeeduif.

Behind closed doors, a man with golden hair stood over his lover, hazel eyes filled with adoration, nose only slightly crooked. She met his gaze, equally as fierce, thankful for their soundproof walls.

The prince of Ravka would eventually return to The Grand Palace to visit his parents, and brother, where he would introduce his wife; the, now, princess y/n of Ravka.

As she lay in his arms at night, she would think back on their first meeting. Then flush as their second meeting sprang to her mind. And though there were things she wished she could change about their third meeting, being there in Nikolai's arms was reward enough.

Oh, and she absolutely wouldn't let him take control all of the time.

[luonae]

whew im finally done with my PL oc/custom eris i suppose. (well i wanted to draw him more but im bored) embarrassingly long post ahead so brace yourself

collection of his fits: (fun fact, all of them have a reference to milo somewhere like hearts, the cross earring M milo has, or just the letter M... also shaped like a heart)

he puts the war in wardrobe. (i couldnt stop myself from giving him multiple outfits since taking care of his looks is a pretty significant part of his character)

ok yapping time (even this is actually very condensed from what ive written):

- his favorite manipulation tactics involve shaming and guilt tripping. hes really subtle about them. also playing innocent

- he grew up with an alcoholic physically abusive father and was taught to play up his cuteness so his father would have a harder time lashing out at him and pity him, which is why he takes a lot of care of his appearance and looks. he weaponizes them and uses them as a defense mechanism too

- overconfident hedonist who fucks around and finds out lol. good at adapting to match other peoples energy and needs

- naturally book smart but not street smart. hes very well known in college for his consistently good grades. he uses his helplessness in daily situations to play the damsel in distress role (trust this guy to weaponize even his weakness)

- out of all the milos hes most similar to M milo (but hes actually introverted). his favorite milo would be pre though (he likes how miserable he looks and finds it endearing. also he likes cute things and bunnies and pre milo is the cutest to him... and the bunny one)

- if i had to liken him to any pre existing characters, the closest would be chae yul from secret alliance

- he doesnt care about 99% of things in life so its hard to see him stressed out. the only thing he cares about is milo. he thinks manipulating milo is okay because in the end milo will love him and be happy to be with him, and he will be happy to be with milo too, so its a win-win (dont mind the ethics of this logic)

- uses milo like a servant or a guard dog (v milo rejoice, youre perfect). hes really lazy and clumsy, bad at household chores. hes actually very protective of milo though. he may be bossy and manipulative towards him but if someone else hurts milo he will immediately take matters into his own hands. hes squeamish and weak to blood and gore (which would suck when hes with v milo) but he would definitely start maiming anyone who hurts milo (aside from himself lol)

- his best subject was math. his worst subject was history. his hobbies are mostly solitary activities like gaming, drawing, taking walks, and dancing

extras: he heard milo likes bunnies

and... while drawing all those colorful outfits i could only think of one thing...

(this would actually never happen because he would never apologize)

oh and i almost forgot to include these

ok last fun fact: his favorite endings would definitely be the killer (v) and arsonist (m) endings (very funny how in both of these he transforms milo into a national menace) but his least favorites would be kidnapped/taken (v) and walls (m). he would especially hate the walls one. milo get out!!!! he wants to see you!!!!!!!!

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 19

Emily has really been going full villain mode these past couple of episodes, huh? while I'm overall not a huge fan of how many women have been portrayed as rude/unreasonable as compared to their male counterparts, i do love an evil queen. i support women's wrongs.

oh, Gabby. how many people wish that were true. (very cute gabellie content as usual)

i wonder if this is a soft confirmation that we'll never see Gabby or Ellie compete again.

this is so important. also, Hunter, the heart is on Ally's pajamas, not her casual look with the jacket. unless he just drew that there because he loves Ally so much :D

glad that Tom can finally admit that he is a terrible liar. truly, the person Tom and Jake should blame is the hiring manager who hired Tom in the first place.

if you loved him this whole time then why did you lie to him about having another boyfriend, Tom? ,':/ (/lh) (i know that he was explaining in this scene that it's because he was afraid, i'm just saying that the extent of his fears is something that shouldn't be swept under the rug, and that i feel it wasn't properly set up enough in s1 or DCAS as a replacement. yes it was showcased in DCAS but we never got an explanation as to Tom's thought process between seasons that would change his mind to make him more fearful.)

*several people are typing*

we NEED to see jaiden teaching Miriam a tiktok dance.

this is your daily reminder to not take anything that's said in a greeting too seriously.

c'mon, Fiore, a true gen Alpha-er would know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell without having to look it up. unless, oh god, is that too much of a gen-Z reference for gen Alpha to understand...?

HE'S SUCH A DAD I LOVE THEM

this was probably my favorite line of the episode.

this was a really cute detail! even though they were both the archetypal "old person" of their season, Connor is still, like, 20 years younger than Miriam. it totally make sense that she'd still call him kiddo! just, not grandkiddo.

literally even Ellie is rooting for them to finish this plotline already. or maybe she's just feeling guilty for separating them in the first place, and she's lowkey hoping that the damage wasn't that severe.

that's... that's a crime? you can't just burn people, even if they're terrible??? i guess that, given Riya attempting to kill Aiden and directly breaking Connor's leg further, the definition of what counts as a crime is pretty lax in this universe. unless it's about destroying the environment. thanks, Tom! (/j)

also, why is Yul's scar so damn low res?

MCDONALD'S ELLIE ISN'T CANON??? D:

i wonder if this season is going to end with Grett giving Ellie a job/helping Ellie get a job. i could see fitness influencer and fashion designer working together well, as long as Ellie is okay designing athleticwear.

on one hand, i don't like that we don't get to have the finalists pick the people that they're closest with help them in the finale. this feels rather random, and in terms of real-world fairness, having a finalist get stuck with terrible help isn't very fair (i cite Top Chef season 4 as my example). however, i do appreciate how Disventure Camp always mixes the endgame up. it's not very fair in a real-world perspective, but given that it isn't a real game i appreciate the variety.

i also think that this is a nice fix to really incentivize whoever is helping the finalist after (in-universe) we had two really unpopular finalists, Fiore and James, who struggled to get any help. it feels like a reasonable decision that the in-universe showrunners would make.

don't distract him during the finale, you fool!

the Romber strategy!!! wow, and it's even in the first All Stars season, too :D

THE YUL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS BACK ON?!?!?!?!

FIORE FINALE CONTENT! FIORE FINALE CONTENT!

ain't no way she's actually winning and of that $100K though, lol.

y'know, this might as well happen.

Riya and Yul really are perfect for each other (platonic) because every time that either of them gets a chance to either repent and be a good person or double down and keep relentlessly chasing their goals, they both always choose the latter. they're gonna get punished in the finale big time for sure... to the extent that Yul hasn't already been punished by getting that scar(?) to the face. like, seriously, that could be even more damage to his career.

once again, i missed the real Hunter so much :,)

while i love the roast here, does Fiore actually have anyone's respect...?

that's a wrap, folks! the most important character arc of the season is over!

[sophierequests]

Could I please request a Toyla x reader..? (Bless you for writing for everyone I can’t find any for him 😭) they’re crushing on each other and them having to share a bed 🥺

you are foolish to want

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Request

Pairing: Tolya Yul-Bataar x gn!Reader

A/N: After reading this you might ask me: Sophie, will you ever write anything else than Hurt/Comfort when you get requests that aren't in any explicit genre? The answer to that question is: no <3 Also, the second time of using horses in a Tolya fanfic?? What has overcome me?? Thank you for the request! I hope you'll like this, even though the one bed trope isn't the main focus of this story </3

Summary: Tolya and the reader are on their way to the Lazlayon until unforeseen circumstances put a slight dent in their plans.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff (if you squint)

Word Count: 5.8K (oh god)

Warnings: Mention of almost dying, broken ribs and hurt feelings

The silence between you became louder the longer you indulged in it. It wasn’t really silence, so to say. It was more the state of not speaking. The forest surrounding you was anything but silent. Between the creaking of old rotting larch trees swaying in the wind and the padding of hooves against the more or less solid ground, nothing ever really felt quiet. 

He couldn’t be sure how much longer the path ahead of you could possibly still drag on; all he knew was that he likely wouldn’t be able to stay awake for the entirety of it. The tension of riding next to you alone would have usually been enough to keep him from falling asleep. Hell, the thought of you alone did the job well enough already. Yet something about this time felt different. 

It was just the two of you. No Tamar. No Nikolai. No Zoya. No one else to worry or think about. Just the two of you, wordlessly riding next to each other. 

And while his brain screamed at him to use that factor in his favour, to finally make some sort of move, his body recoiled at the impulse of opening his mouth and articulating his feelings. Whenever he even attempted to do so, an obstruction seemed to form inside his larynx, blocking the feeble sounds that might’ve crossed the breach of his vocal folds. Maybe it was his heart leaping out of his chest and ending up in the enclosure of his throat, desperate to be spat out and stowed away inside a neat little box that he could disregard as long as he pleased. Maybe it was bile at the thought of having to come clean about the months and months of yearning he had been subjected to since meeting you. Maybe both of these options rang true; he couldn’t be sure. The sole thing he was painfully sure of was that it had to be closely related to you. 

Everything was somehow related to you. You had always been everywhere and nowhere; everything and nothing at the same time. At least to him, he hoped. You occupied his mind, his space, and his time whenever he should be focused on anything else. When he wanted, no, needed to focus on anything else. You were everywhere just as much as you were nowhere. Nowhere he could reach. Touch. Hold. You had always been more of an idealistic daydream, rather than something concrete. And just like most dreams, you would be foolish to pursue.

“Do you think we’ll reach the Lazlayon before the night sets in?” Your voice broke through the air like a gunshot, forcing his gaze away from the impenetrable barrier of trees next to him. You stared at him expectantly, waiting until he could will himself to produce a coherent sentence.

He let out a huffed breath, absent-mindedly fiddling with the reins in his hands as if they were a set of tarot cards that would permit him to look into the future. “If we keep up this pace, we’ll likely get there right before sundown.”

“Oh, lovely. Just in time for Count Kirigin to welcome us. I’m sure he’s already buzzing with excitement,” you chuckled dryly, giving your companion a distinctive eye roll to accentuate your annoyance. 

Tolya rolled his shoulders, the mention of the count’s name sending a wave of unease through him. He didn’t necessarily hold any tangible grudges against him, he didn’t know him well enough to form any sort of well-shaped opinion of him to begin with, but what he knew was that the man was an absolute rake. If the countless times of resolute flirting with anyone that didn’t leave his presence on the count of three wasn’t enough to support this hypothesis, Nikolai’s long-winded tales of his drinking and lavished parties sure filled the gaps. Count Kirigin as a whole simply wasn’t a coeval he wanted to be around. Not when he was busy enough with keeping his emotions in check while you were close to him. 

“There’s still hope that he chose to go to bed instead of waiting by the door for us to arrive. I doubt that he’s all too invested in our presence. After all, Zoya isn’t accompanying us, so he won’t have much to ogle at,” the Heartrender objected slyly, using the scarce situation of being alone with you to voice his obvious disdain for the man in question.

“We can only hope.” You clasped your hands together, holding them in front of your chest as if you were in prayer. “At least we’ll share the same fate if it comes down to him having genuinely waited on us.” 

He nodded in agreement. It was a comforting thought to know that he was there with you. The fact that you were meant to take on the journey to the Lazlayon on your own at first disconcerted him greatly. Not that he wouldn’t have trusted you to come back in one piece, however, having you be out of his sight for so long without a possibility of contacting you made him uncomfortably aware of the actual extent of his feelings.

Another wave of silence settled around you. It was more comfortable this time. Especially since it didn’t take too long for you to speak up again. “I’m glad Nikolai decided to have you come along.”

His smile falters for just a split second, the wave of emotion your simple statement had created stripping him of the last bit of feigned confidence he had. Perhaps his years of studying and breaking down ancient poetry had gotten the best of him. Convinced him that there was more to the comment than merely you being glad that someone else had to suffer through the hours on hours of travel. But that’s what you would have said, right? You would have said ‘someone’ instead of explicitly mentioning him. During times like these, he genuinely missed Zoya’s bluntness to bring him back down to earth.

“Oh, uhm, it’s good to know that you don’t see my presence as patronising,” he stammers, his voice hitching and cracking as if he was a puberty-stricken young boy again.

You tilted your head and looked at him with narrowed but gentle eyes. The same eyes that always seemed to magically find his own whenever he had stared at you for a bit too long. “Your presence could never be patronising to me. I like being around you.”

In an ideal world, he would have told you that the feeling was mutual. The sentence would have rolled off his tongue equally as casually as it had off yours, and you both could have continued your travels with the knowledge that you appreciated each other’s company. This was not an ideal world though. In fact, he didn’t even give you a verbal response. Instead, he hastily turned his head away from you, futilely trying to cover the gleaming blush that had spread across his cheeks in a matter of seconds.

Once again, the steady whirring and rustling replaced your short-lived stab at a conversation. It took another hour for the unkempt thicket to gradually turn into a widespread field, stretching out in front of you until it was obscured by the dense artificial fog that hid the watercraft testing grounds of the Gilded Bog. It would have been a stunning view if you hadn’t been aware of the massive amount of work that lay behind it.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips when Count Kirigin’s estate came into view. Your whole body ached after riding for hours on end without a break, making you long for a warm bed and a good night’s sleep. It didn’t take long for Mother Fortuna to knock that idea out of your head though.

Just as you had intended to throw some sort of sarcastic comment in your friend’s direction, a sudden sound of a rifle being fired cut through the forest behind you. After that, everything continued to go downhill horribly fast. 

You barely managed to calm down your horse, yanking the reins to the side to let it spur out its fright by trotting in a circle. Tolya, on the other hand, was less lucky. He hadn’t been able to react quick enough, his horse rearing on its hind legs before he was in the right mindset to properly hold onto the straps of his saddle. He was thrown off its back quite roughly, his back hitting the hard ground with a bone-chilling thud.

“Tolya!” you called, dismounting your horse without thinking about the looming threat of someone directing their gunshots at you. It was as if you were passing through a tunnel, eyes only focused on what was in front of you.

A litany of his name spilt out of your mouth as you knelt down next to him; you repeated it so many times that it didn’t even feel like a real word anymore. But no amount of repetition could bring him to regain consciousness. He remained laying on the ground, perfectly still and with no reaction to anything you did. Years and years of basic medical training flickered through your mind, hopelessly trying to give you an impulse that might be able to save his life. Your hands promptly moved to the pronounced column of his throat, a motion that would have been intimate if you weren’t filled with panic. The skin underneath your fingers was warm - and unexpectedly soft - as you dug for any form of heartbeat. When you finally localised a faint but rhythmic thudding, you sucked in a deep breath, momentarily considering changing your stance on the Saints if they had been the ones to grant you this minuscule act of reassurance.

“Tolya,” you tried again, hands cradling the sides of his face as you shifted him onto your lap. His eyelids fluttered open briefly, immediately seeking out contact with yours. It took another moment for him to recognise what position he was currently in. Your hands on his face and his head on your lap felt almost too good of a situation to be anything but a dream. 

He wanted to say something, anything for that matter, but a piercing pain in his chest caused him to let out a stifled groan. It hurt to move. It hurt to speak. It hurt to breathe. His whole body felt like it had been pulled apart and reassembled without a manual, and you couldn’t do anything to ease his discomfort.

“Hey.” You let your thumbs smooth over the ridges of his cheekbones, your feather-light touch creating an embarrassingly visible trail of goosebumps all over his arms. Everything you did was too soft. Too delicate. Too wholly overwhelming. “I know it hurts. Just stay here for a while and-”

“Saints!” A shrill voice made your head shoot up, the memory of the gunshot striking you like a brick. When a familiar figure scrambled out of the woods, an extravagant hunting rifle strung over his back and a mortified look on his face, you began to piece together what was going on. “I’m terribly sorry! I- We were just coming back from our hunting trip and we didn’t- Oh, no.” The count ran a shaky hand through his neatly slicked-back hair, causing a few stiff strands to fall onto his forehead.

Something inside you wanted to be mad at him. It was his fault after all. If he had been more careful and a little less trigger-happy none of this would have happened. However, Tolya’s weight still very much present on your legs substituted your anger with worry. “Kirigin, I’ll need some help getting him to the Lazlayon. He needs to be looked at by someone more…medically-inclined than me.”

Emil nodded his head reverently, calling over a few of the other men that had joined him in his hunting party. With their help, you heaved him back to his feet. His nails dug into your shoulder as you helped him walk to your horse; neither of you trusted his horse enough to not throw him off again. It was quite the struggle, but after a lot of cursing and griping coming from the normally very composed Heartrender, you reached the opulent mansion just before the sun had vanished behind the mountain range completely.

Upon entering, the count immediately called for a medik, showing the two of you to his drawing room while he flittered through the foyer in a frenzy. Tolya let himself fall onto one of the plush divans with a groan. His hand flew to his side as soon as his back met the fabric underneath him, flinching as he seemed to have pressed down too hard. It was a strange picture to see him look this helpless. He appeared small and vulnerable, almost as if a bare touch could cause him to break and crumble.

“Don’t move,” you requested gently, one of your hands reaching out to take hold of his. He was aware that this gesture was merely meant to give him a piece of reassurance; you wanted to give him something to hold on to, something to get his mind off of the erupting pain in his chest. Still, a nimble twinge of hope sent a burning wave of longing through his body. “I think you may have broken a rib. After your fall earlier that would be one of the lesser evils,” you assessed, letting the fingers of your free hand brush over the clothed expanse of his chest. “We should probably pass a message to Nikolai. You can’t be expected to take on the ride back anytime soon. But all of that can wait until tomorrow.”

The medik arrived just as you closed your mouth, forbidding Tolya from saying anything in response to your short-lived ramblings. He was a bit miffed by the fact that the person treating him was a simple medik instead of an actual Healer that could have fixed him up in the blink of an eye. However, a faint memory of Kuwei accidentally setting a whole section of the laboratory on fire told him that their presence was a bit more required downstairs. 

He was ripped from his thoughts when the medik pushed down on his ribcage with unexpected force. A jolt of pain flashed through him again, and embarrassingly enough, that only caused his grip on your hand to tighten. You didn’t show any sign of discomfort as he did so, entirely concentrated on providing the tiniest bit of comfort you could offer him.

“Fractured rib,” the woman beside you muttered, her brows furrowed as she looked at his exposed chest stomach. “This will take a few weeks to heal on its own. We can send for a Healer as soon as one’s available, but that will probably take just as long. The new project is keeping everyone busy, I’m afraid.”

“I will send a letter to the King,” the Count interjected, rubbing his palms together in an attempt to cope with his nervousness. “The Healers at the Grand Palace are often more willing to make the trip than the ones we have on our hands here. I’m certain he would do everything in his power to ensure that one of his most trusted…guards is back in his service as soon as possible.”

“I suppose that would be for the better.” The medik took out a few differently coloured vials from the pouch on her hip, handing them to you as if the person needing them wasn’t also in the room with you. “These are painkillers. Make sure he takes one of these twice a day.” You nodded along slowly, letting go of Tolya’s hand to not drop any of the flimsy flasks. “It would be best if someone keeps an eye on him for now. Especially after taking the medicine. In case the pain gets worse, you know where to find me.” She directed her gaze at Emil who merely dismissed her with a grateful wave of his hand.

“Thank you for…taking the initiative.” You gave him a brief smile, sitting on the armrest of the sofa where Tolya was still laying. Slowly but surely, the heaviness of the day began seeping through your bones.

“But of course! That’s the least I could do after causing such a mishap.” He pursed his lips but opted to force them into a straight line while he pondered his next words. “I shall send for a servant to mind you during the night if that’s alright with you. Someone should probably be there to attend to you, just in case something happens.” 

Tolya looked up at him, evidently not too fond of his suggestion. The idea of having some stranger even do as much as stay in the same room as he slept didn’t sit right with him at all. “I…appreciate your kindness, Count Kirigin. However, I would prefer it if you refrained from doing anything like that. I’m certain it will be fine if I’m left unsupervised for the night.”

“The count has a point,” you reasoned, a distinct expression of worry present on your face. “You’re hurt; don’t be so blasé about it. It would genuinely be better if someone is there for you. At least for tonight.”

“Maybe you could stay with him for the night if it’s the aspect of familiarity he’s concerned with?” Emil offered, his eyes darting between the two of you nervously. If his upper body had allowed it, Tolya would have shot upright in his seat after hearing that. As much as he hated the notion of having someone else practically babysit him while he was asleep, anyone else would be a better option than you. He wouldn’t survive spending a night under these circumstances.

His suggestion caught you off guard with what felt like brute force. He was a good friend; one of your closest actually. Yet you had never even seen the inside of his bedroom. Spending the night in the same room, no matter under what circumstances, seemed like a terrible way to improve that friendship.

“I… Tolya? Your call.” You shifted all the responsibility of decision-making onto the Heartrender, giving him an apologetic look while he struggled to find the right words.

He mentally considered all the implications this action might entail. What if he snored? What if he talked in his sleep? What if the medicine made him do or say things he might regret? What if nothing out of the ordinary happens and he was just diving into the worst-case scenarios? “If I have to choose, I’d prefer your presence,” he mumbled, instantly clamping his eyes shut in order to avoid looking at your face while you let his words sink in. 

“It’s decided then,” you chirped, slumping off your seat to carefully place the ampoules in your bag. You sounded pretty much unbothered by the prospect of sharing a room for the night. Weren’t you even a little bit uncomfortable with that?  He should be glad that you were taking this situation so well, however, your unexpected nonchalance concerning the topic made every last speck of hope that you could possibly like him back dwindle down to nothing.

“Very well!” Kirigin clasped his hands together with a resounding clap, the jovial nature returning to his face in an instant. “Now, if you’d be so inclined - and able -, please follow me upstairs to the guest bedrooms.”

The guest bedrooms of the count’s estate reminded you of the countless ornate rooms you had seen at the Grand Palace; broad wide rooms with high ceilings and long windows that made them appear more like a makeshift dining hall than an actual bedchamber. Needless to say, the Lazlayon was a bit more bucolic than what you were used to seeing in the capital, but the white walls and the rococo king-size bed definitely opposed every notion of humility one might expect if there was no prior knowledge of Kirigin’s spendthrift way of living.

Neither of you really had enough willpower to change into your nightclothes, so you merely rid yourself of the thick jackets and clunky boots, which you mindlessly tossed on top of your bags. The bedding would be changed in the morning anyway.

It was a terribly awkward scene, the tension practically electrifying the air around you. Tolya sat on the bed, his back perched on the carved headboard while he watched you scurry around the room like a rabbit in front of a rifle. You also seemed to have realised what the offer of staying in the same room for the night might imply; your previous casualness being gone completely.

“Here,” you said, handing him one of the vials the medik had given you earlier. He took the medicine from your hands, eying it with a suspicious expression. In comparison to his hand, the tiny bottle looked like a prop right out of a doll house. The image of comparing your hand to his popped into your mind, but you hastily shooed it away, thinking about how inappropriate that thought was. “Drink. I’ll get you some water to help with the taste in case you need it.” 

Quickly, he downed the viscous medicine, cringing at the sickly-sweet flavour that spread inside his mouth as he swallowed. As soon as the liquid went down his throat, he had to stifle a cough, the taste only getting worse the longer he occupied his mind with it.

You plopped down on the empty spot next to him, cautious to not spill any of the water that you held out for him. When he reached out to take the glass, your hands touched his for a split second, your fingertips barely brushing over his. Still, that simple gesture was enough to make his head spin. Saints, he hated that you had that effect on him.

“Thank you,” he breathed out, not quite knowing what exactly he thanked you for. Thank you for being there for me when I fell off that damned horse? Thank you for holding my hand earlier? Thank you for staying with me tonight? Thank you for getting me that glass of water? He could probably think about at least a hundred things to thank you for off the top of his head.

“How are you feeling?” Your voice sounded just as sweet as the medicine tasted, he thought. He just liked listening to your voice a whole lot better. Were the painkillers already kicking in?

“Better. Sore, but better. I’m dreading thinking about what Nikolai will say once he gets wind of this.” He let his head slump against the wall behind him, his eyes glancing at you furtively as you scanned his body for any sort of unease or pain he might still feel.

“Forget Nikolai. He can survive without you for a bit longer. And Tamar is still there to save his ass when it comes down to it.” You gave him a quick smile, taking his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze before leaving his side again. “The only thing that matters now is that you’re getting better. No matter whether that happens naturally or with the help of a Healer."

“I’d prefer it happening through the help of a Healer,” he muttered under his breath, scowling at the idea of having to spend another six weeks alone in the confines of a bed without being able to follow his usual duties.

“Well, an actual break would do you some good every once in a while. After everything that Nikolai put you through during the last few years, you should be eligible to take off at least a few months without him being allowed to say anything against it.”

“So eager to get rid of me now?”

A sharp snort escaped your mouth as you looked at him, the feigned pout on his lips making him look like a kicked puppy. Sometimes you had the suspicion that Nikolai’s inherent obnoxiousness was rubbing off on him.

“Believe it or not, I still like being around you. Even though you now gave me the added stress factor of having to keep a close eye on you when we’re around horses.” You walked over to one of the cushioned armchairs that decorated the corner of the room, leaning against it without actually sitting in it. “And If I really would be so eager to get rid of you I wouldn’t have agreed to play your nursemaid for the night. Especially not if I had known that I’d have to sleep in one of these forsaken chairs. Kirigin could have at least given us a double room.”

Tolya’s previously playful expression dropped. He had been so hung up on the fact that you’d be with him for the entire night that he had completely neglected to think about the logistics of his request. Had he known that you’d end up sleeping in a chair rather than a bed, he would have answered differently. 

An unwelcome thought clawed its way into his mind; he wanted to strangle it before it could properly manifest. Had he been Nikolai or Tamar he would have immediately sprung into action, offering you his bed, and probably also his heart while he was at it. But he wasn’t like either of them. He wasn’t brash, or romantic, or even socially intelligent. These attributes would be foreign on him, like a coat that was just a bit too big to fit correctly - contorting his actual silhouette to make him look like something he wasn’t.

“Are you okay?” you asked, a worried undertone present as you spoke. He quickly closed his mouth, straightening out his features to appear more collected than he felt before fixing his gaze on you again. You didn’t only sound worried, you also looked the part; eyebrows tightly knitted together while a distinct flash of concern gloomed in your eyes. “Are you still in pain? Should I get-”

“No, it’s- I’m fine, Y/N. I was just thinking…” 

“Care to share with the class?”

Even though everything inside him rebelled against opening his mouth and speaking his mind, his heart moved quicker than his mind could process. “Sleeping in an armchair can’t be comfortable. We could share the bed,” he trailed off, watching as you gawked at him like a fish on land. “If you want to, that is.” He felt the need to add that, even if it was only enough to calm his raging nerves.

“Tolya, you’re hurt. You need the rest more than I do. I can’t possibly do that in good conscience.” The room was filled to the brim with the nervousness exuding off of the two of you. It was almost sad to watch you two stumble over your own words, acting as if you were two little schoolchildren that both had a crush on the other.

Seemingly taking your refusal as a challenge, he awkwardly shuffled towards the edge of the bed, leaving the other side very clearly unoccupied. “Would that be enough space for you?” Your eyes darted from the comfortable-looking bed to the stiff armchair you had originally intended to sleep in. Much to your dismay, the bed did look more inviting than the chair could ever be.

“I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” was everything you could muster up to talk yourself out of it. A futile attempt at not giving in to the want clouding your coherent thoughts ever since being in the same room as Tolya.

“You wouldn’t.” You couldn’t. “Trust me, I don’t mind. I couldn’t let you sleep in a bloody chair with a good conscience either.” As if to underline his statement, he patted the empty space next to him.

With an exasperated sigh, you shook off the roots that had metaphorically formed around your ankles and moved to the offered side of the bed. You felt terribly awkward as you slid into bed right next to him. You two had never been this close. Not in this context.

“Thank you,” you whispered, laying flat on your back with your hands folded over your stomach. He mirrored your movement soon after, albeit a bit slower.

He wanted to say something - anything - to relieve some of the tension buzzing between you. But everything he could have said wouldn’t have improved the situation in the slightest. Just like a few hours ago in the woods, the silence was anything but silent.

“You really scared me earlier, do you know that?” you mumbled, breaking through the uncomfortable silence. Again, he thought. “This could have ended with way worse consequences than a fractured rib.”

“I know.” The words were heavy on his tongue, suffocating him. Up until the possibility that worse things could have happened had sounded like an impossible what-if situation to him. But judging by the honest fear in your voice, he really could have suffered a fate way worse than being forced to rest for an uncertain amount of time. The only feeling he could recall after his fall was the dizziness of laying on top of your lap and the intoxicating touch of your hands on his cheeks. He didn’t even think that he genuinely registered the pain in his chest until he felt the impulse to move. “Thankfully, we didn’t have to find out exactly how badly this could have ended.”

“Good. I honestly wouldn’t have known what to do if you hadn’t woken up. What I would do without you.” The last sentence was so unexpected that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. You had your way of catching him off-guard with your words that was so brutal, but equally as stunning.

“You won’t have to that out either. Not if I can help it.” He wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you so badly that breathing normally became more and more difficult. But he couldn’t. Not right now. And maybe not ever.

Silence fell over you again. It was such a stark contrast to the chaos raging inside his head that he barely noticed when you turned to lay on your side, facing him. He forced his eyes to close in hopes of at least getting a few full hours of sleep before he was pushed back into a world where it wasn’t normal for you to sleep next to him.

“Tolya?” you whispered, resisting the urge to nudge him. 

“Mhm?” he murmured, eyes still clamped shut.

He heard you shuffling next to him, probably to put a bit of distance between you and him. “I have to tell you something.” You shuffled again, the mattress giving in ever so slightly when you did. You were sitting up now. “This might be a terrible time to do so, but I have to get it off my chest.” That caught his attention enough to look at you again. You sounded so serious.

“Uhm, sure, go for it.” To say that he was concerned would have been an understatement. His whole body tensed, much to the dismay of his fractured ribcage.

“I don’t recall the last time when I was genuinely so afraid of someone I care about not being alright, but what I felt when you didn’t wake up at first was way worse than just being scared. I'm not sure how to tell you this, and I’ve been putting this off for quite some time now. But I don’t just care about you like how I care about the others. I think I'm in love with you." The last words tumbled from your lips in a hurry, so quickly that he almost didn’t comprehend what you were saying. He could have sworn that this was a fever dream. Maybe the medicine had kicked in way stronger than he expected it to. Maybe he was genuinely going mad. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel real.

You realised how badly timed this confession was as soon as you saw the completely befuddled expression that was plastered all over his face. Suddenly, sleeping on the armchair looked way more appealing than the shared bed. You felt like you were trapped in a mass of writhing quicksand, slowly but surely devouring you until there was nothing left to take. This was way more embarrassing than you had imagined.

“I, uhm, this was a mistake.” You felt your cheeks heat up, burning you until you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to get out of this bed. Preferably also this room. “It would be best if I leave, I’m so sorry. I’ll go downstairs to call fo-” 

Tolya seized your wrist just as you wanted to throw the covers off of you. The rash movement caused him to wince slightly, but he didn’t let go of you. A thousand questions forced their way into his mind, and he could answer none of them. 

“Wait.” He didn’t know what else to say. But he knew that you needed to stay. “Are…are you being sincere?”

“What? Of course? Do you genuinely think I would make a joke out of something like that? Especially in our…current situation?” you questioned, absolutely bewildered that he thought you were joking around.

At this point, his face was beet red. He couldn’t tell where his embarrassment came from. Whether it was the fact that he had been tiptoeing around his feelings for months by now while you felt the same or the fact that he had the genuine audacity to ask you if you were kidding.

“Tolya, I can understand that this makes you uncom-”

“No, no, don’t!” His grip on your wrist tightened as you tried to wriggle yourself out of his grasp. That was his cue to say something. Anything if it made you stay.

“What do you mean?”

“I love you too,” he blurted, maybe a bit too quickly. But the fear of having to watch you leave made his heart act before his brain could.

“You do?”

“Do you genuinely think I would make a joke out of something like that?” He gave you a sheepish smile, his eyes gleaming with adoration. Saints, he really was in love. “I never said anything because I didn’t think you’d feel the same.”

He had intended to let go of your hand, giving you a moment to process what he had just said. You didn’t let him pull away though. Instead, you took his hand in your own, tightly squeezing it before allowing your lips to curl up into a wide smile.

“Sounds like we’re both idiots then.”

“At least we’re idiots in love.”

“But idiots nonetheless," you laughed, your heart thudding even louder when you heard Tolya join you.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light @treasureofmy-heart

Tolya Yul-Bataar: @juneberrie @horny4knives

[reverieblondie]

Cal x Lae'zel

The Beginning: Meeting in the Grove

Part 1

A/N: This ship just popped into my mind one day and at first I was like, oh that was random…then I started to think about it more… and now I can’t stop… Thank you to @drizztdohurtin for letting me ramble about them in your ask box! You are such a kind soul! This will be a multi part HCs because I have lots of thoughts about this couple! Also hug shout out to @dark-and-kawaii Thank you so much for the pictures you sent me! You deserve all the smooches! Also if you want to read amazingly spicy fics go check them out! (this was supposed to be in bullet points but Tumblr didn't like that)

(I mean look at these two!)

Now let's go to the beginning of this couple's relationship, and of course, it all starts back at the grove because obviously~

I imagine that Cal is at least slightly aware of who Lae'zel is because: One, she is in Tavs party and everyone seems to know who Tav is by this point. Two, she is a githyanki walking around the grove; of course, people will take note of her. Three, all the teiflings have heard about what Zorru saw and what happened to his friend Yul, so of course they keep a close eye on her… Including Cal, Lia, and Rolan. Though they are watching all the new adventures in the grove, Cal has found himself staring at the silver-clad warrior fairly often. She's just unlike anything he's seen before. 

Lae'zel, on the other hand, was unaware of Cal's existence. Until one day… when she decided to do some training… 

While the rest would spend time relaxing at camp when they were on pause with their adventure, Lae'zel is not one for relaxing; she needs to keep busy. So, while everyone else was doing their thing, she slipped away to a secluded spot to do some training. 

Lae'zel heard him before she saw him, fumbling around and lamenting his problems, something about him being treated like a baby. Rolling her eyes, she finally looks towards the noisy intruder. She doesn't bother to hide that she's staring daggers into him when he makes it through the thicket. Lae'zel does a quick assessment of him. Tall with apparent bulk, strong, sure, but from how he holds that spear, not fit for his build, she could outmaneuver him from the amount of training she has had, but he could possibly put up a bit of a fight…

Of course, Cal is getting nervous by the second as she keeps her keen eyes on him. Lae'zel's silver armor glimmers brightly on her olive skin, and her strong arms effortlessly hold her sword like it weighs nothing. She's altogether imposing, and he can't seem to look away.

Lae'zel, never one for subtlety ends the stare off with a command, immediately pulling dominance. A skill that has always served her well. "Teeth-ling, raise your spear and spar with me. I need a moving target for better training. Unless these words you speak of being compared to a baby are true?" 

Cal feels his tail flick widely behind him. Is she…taunting him? The short answer is yes, in a way. Lae'zel knows how to get under people's skin, so she wants to test Cal. "Fine," Cals says somewhat irritatedly, "But don't kill me…or seriously mame me…" Lae'zel tries to keep from rolling her eyes; she guesses she will hold back a little then…

It turns out Lae'zels holding back means she still is whooping Cal's ass. Not only is she strong, but she's swift, too. Completely overwhelming him, but Cal can't seem to keep his eyes off her and her immaculate form. However, Cal isn't the only one being impressed. Lae'zel watches the tall tiefling; she watches how he keeps falling and failing, but he keeps getting up, and when she goes for the same hit, he moves…A hidden resolve and a quick learner. Maybe he has some potential to be a decent fighter…

Cal sees something in her eyes, and he takes the opportunity to prove himself and make a hit. With his found spear ready, he charges forward to at least knock her down. Of course, Lae'zel simply side steps out of the way. Silly Tiefling putting all his weight into an attack without having a counterpla —Thwack!

She's unsure what has just transpired, but all she knows is that her cheek is stinging…Looking towards him, she sees that he looks completely mortified. "I'm…" she points her sword to his neck. "Don't apologize, just tell me how you did that!" Cal swallows before slowly lifting his tail to view. "It was an accident…" Lowering her sword, she looks at it quizzically, approaching closely; she almost wants to touch it but holds herself back as she watches him tense up. "What else can it do?" 

Cals is not exactly sure why, but images of debauchery and his tail twisting against some intimate places pop into his mind…" stuff…lots of different, nice…huh c-cool…stuff.." Her eyes narrow before she puts her sword away, heading to grab her things and leave. Cal guessed this must be the end of the training, so he also went to gather his things when his ears perked up at her voice. "Tiefling…you have potential; you just need practice. He feels his smile curl up, and excitement fills his chest; before he knows it, he's rushing out his next response, "You think I have potential! Maybe we can train again together…sometime… if you-" "Perhaps you could use the guidance…and I need something to batter at most days." Cal's tail starts to swish around wildly now; he hopes she doesn't notice. -wait…what does she mean by batter?   

Lae'zel heads back to camp, but before she's gone into the thicket, she calls over her shoulder. "Name," Cal is caught off guard by the demand, but he manages to stumble out his name. She hums, says her name, and leaves. Of course, he already knew it, but now, at least, she will stop calling him teeth-ling. 

From that moment, Cal was learning to become a better fighter from someone who had been doing it all her life. But it was also the start of a new friendship?

Friendships are not a familiar concept for Lae'zel, but Cal seems determined to teach her. He starts small with conversion and jokes, but those seem to fly over Lae'zel's head most of the time. So then Cal began to do the next thing he could think of to build a conversation; he started to ask questions about her and her people. First, Lae'zel gave only short answers, but as the days went on, she would begin to elaborate more and then start asking questions of her own; the questions ranged from about Faerun and tieflings in general to more about Cal and how he ended up at the grove. Soon, she found that Cal was sharing all sorts of stories ranging from old legends to stories of his youth. 

It was odd, but Lae'zel found herself enjoying the stories. His life had been so different from her own. There was also just this way he spoke…such enthusiasm. 

On the other hand, Cal was excited to have someone to talk to, a new friend…then he heard her laugh. He told the story of when Rolan accidentally conjured a fire cat, and that's when he heard her laugh, and he was hooked…How could such a fierce warrior have such a beautiful laugh? It was infectious, and he wanted to hear more of it, to watch her full lips curl into a smile and hear that rare sound…

As Lae'zel finds herself in her laughing fit, she looks over to see Cal watching her with the warmest smile she has ever received from a person. It gives her a slight pause, and she feels the tips of her ears warm as she continues to watch him; how long have they sat here? And do his eyes always look…so soft and gentle… Lae'zel averts her gaze and swings his spear back into his hands, catching him off guard and kind of winding him a bit. "No more ideal chatting, let's get to training…" Cal watches her get set for training, but he can't stop smiling. 

When you get closer to someone, it's natural that you get them things…right? So it wouldn't be weird if he brought her one of the muffins he made, right? Does she even like muffins? There blueberry… Rolan likes them and he's not exactly a sweets person, but he enjoys them… Cal continues to agonize over the idea before telling himself to do it! 

As he packs away a few things, Cal fails to notice that Rolan and Lia are watching him…Rolan turns to Lia. "Where is Cal going?" Lia looks over and shrugs. "Said something about training." "He's been doing that a lot lately…" Rolan watches as Cal runs off with a wide, excited smile on his face, "Do you think he's training with someone?"  

Lae'zel looks at the baked good with suspicion. It smells sweet and is sure to weigh her down, definitely not the proper nutrients that her diet usually consists of. Cal watches her with anticipation; he apparently made the sugar-sprinkled treat…. It doesn't seem like she can toss it, so she takes a bite, and that's when the sweetness coats her tongue; it's delicious… Lae'zel scarves it down and looks at him with wide, pleading eyes. Cal laughs, turns out Lae'zel is a sweets person, wait till she learns about cupcakes. Maybe he could bake her something again…to say thanks for training him.

Since the day Cal gifted Lae'zel the muffin, she figured she should return the favor and give Cal something in return… As she walked with Tav through an abandoned village, she spotted it… the thing he desperately needed.

Cal couldn't help but smile when Lea'zel brought him the spear. It was a vast improvement from the one he had been using, and it was fit for his size! He no longer had to slouch so much he could stand to his full height! As Cal studied the spear, he could tell from how the silver end shinned Lae'zel had spent a lot of time sharpening and polishing it. "I grew tired of you using that old one, this shou-" Before she can finish, Cal is scooping her into a warm embrace, a soft thank you whispered in her ear. Lae'zel feels her body lean into him, her arms on instinct lifting to almost wrap around his back ...no..she doesn't…they can't… Lae'zel pushes Cal off, her ears red and eyes avoiding his surprised gaze. "No need for thank yous…just make sure you use it properly…" Cals is happy she doesn't seem to notice his cheeks slightly redder than usual. "Ha, ha…of course…" or the slight hurt in his voice. 

They…did it… Tav and her companions did it, they saved Halsin and defeated the camp of goblins, and Lae'zel looks unscaved…tired and covered in blood but she's okay! Her adorable ears are still intact, her striking face free from fresh scares…Wait? What is he thinking? Does he…sure they have grown close, but does he…

Through the crowd of faces, her large yellow eyes fall to him. For a moment, they soften, and Cal swears he sees her full lips slightly smile before giving a small nod to him. She's safe…and as he etches every feature of her face to his mind, he feels his heart stir further. 

Lae'zel has seen a fair share of battle celebrations…this one is far more tame than the ones she has experienced, but there is something surprisingly pleasant about it. Though she could use some people not being so loud… the camp is in full swing as everyone gets pissed on wine, though Lae'zel holds off on indulging; come morning, they must leave this place for the creche. Her journey ends soon… she is filled with relief and also… something else. As she thinks about the slight aching feeling, she looks up to see Cal approaching with a subtle sway and a drunken flush. 

He practically stumbles over himself, offering her a drink, but she declines. They sit together outside her tent as she talks about the battle and share their plans for where they are going next. Cal lets his thoughts fly in drunken bravery, "You know…in your armor, you're magnificent…But seeing you like this… makes you seem more real…" Lae'zel looks at him confused, "Of course, I'm real…how odd…" Cal feels his face flush, "Well, not real…but you know. Softer…less guarded…m-more exposed…” Lae'zel feels like she knows where this is going, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't intrigued…" exposed?"  Cal swallows and nods as he stares at her. "Y-yeah..like your neck…you have a lovely neck…" 

Lae'zel feels that familiar heat on the tips of her ears. If he likes her neck, she could let him taste it. But as she looks at him, she sees his shy smile as he fidgets with his hands. He's not used to this. Sure, she is used to the carless passion, but… she doesn't want his last memory of her being where he wakes up to an empty bedside. She's not sure why, but she wants him to be left with only pleasant memories, not hurt…

As Cal goes to grab her hand she nonchalantly moves it, faking not paying attention as she looks up at the stars. "This is probably the last time we will see each other…" Cal retreats his hand back into his lap and looks up as well, "Ha…yeah, so it will seem… Lae'zel…thank you…because of you, I'm stronger; I feel like I can better protect the people I love, and though I know it's foolish to hope…but I hope I get to see you again…" 

Lae'zel feels herself smile as she keeps her eyes on the vast sky…" So do I…"

(Part 2 we are heading to Last Light inn!)

[respectthepetty]

Love Tractor is a top for me!

It gave me color-coded boys in love. It gave me an oh-so-satisfying color exchange. It gave me the merging of two worlds. IT GAVE ME EVERYTHING! Especially in these last two episodes, so let me recap the delicious color journey that happened in these final moments.

Episode 7 started with Green Guy Yechan determined to win over Yul.

His Pink Person mother, as usual, was rough, but she's always rooting for her Green Guy son to get her a Blue Boy son-in-law.

So Yechan continues to wear Yul down by sneaking up on him while Yul uses his blue watering can.

And by wearing his Blue Boy's color while giving Yul his heart (Yechan is always giving Yul red items!).

So the barriers between them start to bend in Yechan's favor even when they are in their own colors.

Because Yechan gave Yul back the gift of music (with that blue melodica!).

So Yechan tries to recreate his blue dream and kisses Yul.

But the boys' moment is cut short by Yul's father.

However, Yul tells his father he is living his life the way he wants now and puts on his blue headphones while Yechan's green starts to make its way onto him.

And even though Yechan is miserable because he has to keep his distance from Yul so he can focus, Yechan makes sure to carry his Blue Boy with him wherever he goes.

After finding his Blue Boy passed out with his blue blanket

Yechan decides to take care of Yul, no matter what and continues to wear Yul's blue.

So both realize they are falling in love while wearing pink.

But Yechan has to be extra, so Yul's blue is obviously over his heart.

And even though Yechan wears a yellow shirt, it looks green when Yul hands him his blue headphones to share the song Yechan inspired him to finished. Yul gives Yechan the other half of the couples' bracelet, and Yechan declares that Yul is the most important-est.

They go on a little date where Yechan tells Yul that he knows he has to return to the city, but they can make this work.

And THEY KISS! But instead of it being the blue dream Yechan thought it'd be, it's a green reality!

Because Yul likes Yechan just as much as Yechan likes Yul, and Yul's world is with Yechan, so those red gloves go back to their proper place over Yechan's heart when he talks to Yul on the phone.

And even though Yechan is always happy to talk to his Blue Boy in their colors,

He still misses Yul dearly.

But Yul comes back, and reminds us all that they don't live in different worlds. They don't have to pick between the country tractor and the city car because they will always meet in the middle.

I LOVED IT!

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀Our Unexpected Savior🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 5 “You Are A Monster”

Idk why Lake lost her hair. It wasn't explained. But you know what? She deserves stylish hairdos of whatever she wants.

You want to dye your hair blue and defect from your parents? Do it.

Lake is one of those characters that deserves the world, honestly.

I got nothing better to do, I'm honestly pretty tired. Tired of Yul.

But I'll power through because why not? We're already here and y'all enjoy my content.

So let's get into Episode 5.

Oh.

Okay so this is cool. This wasn't here before.

Bear with me as I read this:

"Disventure Camp uses references from different reality TV shows in its format, parodying them in this animated series."

Total Drama also does this. But this is a valid way of wording it, because at the end of the day, 'Parody of Reality TV' is NOT a character or a property that Fresh TV owns. It is an IDEA. A story idea. A creative decision to have that idea be its format.

Legally, story ideas cannot be protected under copyright.

Characters can be. Story IPs can be. But not its ideas.

If ideas WERE protected under copyright, then stories would stop being made, because every story idea that comes to human mind that CAN be done, HAS been done.

The day ideas get copyrighted is the day I die.

"All the characters and stories shown in the series are the legal property of Odd Nation Cartoons and its collaborators, for which Odd Nation Cartoons has the right to profit from them and use them as it sees fit."

They are using completely original characters for their show, and their own completely unique setting.

I know the Beta originated as Total Drama Fanfiction, but that's also why they remade Season 1, so that this could be dropped in favor of it being their own show.

Fresh TV HATES Total Drama Fanfiction of any kind, especially if its animated. It's not like Fanganronpas, when it comes to those, Spike leaves creators alone despite them stealing Danganronpa's story premise and SOMETIMES characters. Unless I'm stupid and they DO do that. Bu Fresh? Yeah they're more ruthless. If you make something animated that contains Total Drama's premise or characters, IT WILL BE STRUCK WITH THE BAN HAMMER.

I'm not saying Fresh is wrong though. Just that they're ruthless about it. There are cases I've heard of where they were in the right to sue people for stealing content.

I used to watch Total Drama on a site that I won't name, and the site was taken down about two years ago because Fresh went after it for uploading their show.

"The Odd Nation Cartoons team has taken legal advice on the issue of copyright, reaching the conclusion that Disventure Camp does not infringe the rights of any other intellectual property or any YouTube policy."

GOOD FOR THEM.

GOOD FOR ODD NATIONS FOR STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES AND COMING TO TERMS WITH A CONCLUSION WHERE EVERYBODY WINS.

Back then, a lot of indie companies like this were forced to take the Ls if they got sued for anything, because they didn't have the financial or influential ground to stand their ground. So the fact that these guys went out of their way to defend themselves when they got sued and came to an agreement and conclusion that allows them to save their project: PROPS.

I have to give credit where credit is due. Y'all are gems.

I may not like everything you do writing wise, but you standing your ground is worth my respect.

So yeah, that's the start of the episode. I just thought this was interesting.

Oh Lake remembering Rosa's words, d'awww...

She's in your heart girlie.

I know she's still here, but she's still in your heart.❤️

"Do you think I need a normal life?"

Gee, I dunno Lake, are you human?

"Oh... well, what's considered normal nowadays, right?"

Facts.

He still has the black eye XD

I LOVE that he kept that.

I LOVE SEEING A MARK OF SUFFERING ON YUL'S FACE :)

"We managed to kick out the circus freak, but I doubt that strategy will ever work again."

Yeah, it's almost like you did not think this plan through.

What a great villain... /s

"You know, some medical emergency, it should be enough to get Aiden kicked off the show."

OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL SOMEONE?!

Wow. You keep IMPRESSING me on how despicable and disgusting you are.

(I SAY THAT LIKE I DIDN'T ENCOURAGE KILLING CONTESTANTS IN ANOTHER POST. I AM A DAMN HYPOCRITE.)

(That post, especially those portions, were designed NOT to be taken too seriously, btw. I don't actually endorse murder.)

"Do you really think the bald headed girl would be a problem for us?"

Lake, kick Yul's ass.

"Wait, are you saying you're going to poison Aiden to get him out of the game?"

"Uh, what did I just say? Do I need to spell it out word for word?"

"Lying? Sure. Manipulate? Whenever you want. But poison someone? That is way too much."

Well well well, good for James for having some moral decency.

Remember kids, poisoning somebody is ALWAYS WRONG. No matter the motive, YOU SHOULD NEVER POISON PEOPLE.

...unless heir name is Yul Kim. Then it's okay.

Imagine if James turns this on him and kills Yul.

GOD THAT'LL BE EPIC AND REDEEM JAMES.

"Attention campers, an immunity totem has been hidden somewhere in the camp!"

An idol is back?

T h e i d o l s a r e b a c k . . . ?

How lovely 😀

I'm so happy 😁

Alright, I'm going to the psychiatrist. BRB.

"Thanks for coming with me, Rosa."

"Oh, it's nothing. I really like you."

"I really like that you dragged me out of my team, Riya."

"Hunter Tess and Ally have an alliance, despite their... confusing relationship."

"I think that dude is Aro, what do you think? And the girls should kiss?"

"Well, whatever happens, I'll be on your side."

Rosa willingly being in the minority alliance on this team just because she doesn't want her to be lonely. Love it.

"I messed things up with Lake, but I won't make that mistake with Riya. I will help her, support her, and respect her every decision, like I should have with Lake."

Girl, no, you were right to call her out. Don't blame yourself.

Rosa really does seem to have a relationship complex the more I'm seeing it. She's always trying to be a people pleaser and take care of everyone, to the point where she's apparently done it with guys multiple times. She also had to grow up very fast to be a mother at such a young age.

So is this like "If I do something wrong or make a mistake that makes someone upset, I should be the one that takes the entire blame and I'm the screw up."

She is putting all of her own morals first over everything.

I love that out her, but it is an actual flaw if you're, you know, only judging yourself based on how other people see you.

"Hey Tess, since Hunter didn't want to talk, we should talk to each other."

"You know, since one of my options aren't open, I'll take another one."

"Well I never said I was in love with him."

Really? I thought you said you liked the kiss.

"If you felt that way too, I really wouldn't mind."

About who? Hunter, ooooorrrr...

And it cuts away before she can explain it.

"How hard can it be to find a stupid piece of wood?"

GEE, I DUNNO MAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE IN A FOREST OF TREES THAT ARE MADE OF WOOD.

"In a forest?"

Yeah. EXACTLY.

"Oh? What do we have here?"

Oh no. Don't find the idol. DO NOT FIND THE IDOL. I SWEAR TO GOD.

What is that?

I know it's a mushroom, why is it that color and what is it doing in these woods?

I've never seen a mushroom that color before. Only brown and white ones.

"You had a couple of hours to find the totem, and just minutes before the challenge started, it was finally found."

Wait what?

We didn't see who had it?

Are they keeping it a secret on who found it?

So it's Simon Says.

"Easy. My fans support me unconditionally."

XD

"Nobody will cancel me if I kill someone, right?"

"Give me the perfume that Connor gave you."

Oh come on.

I hate this challenge. Hate it.

"How can I make everyone hate me in less than ten minutes?"

Oh goddammit.

WHAT IS THIS CHALLENGE? THIS IS JUST FLAT OUT CRUEL AND UNREWARDING.

She went and did it!

She really said "I WANTED TO DO THAT FOR YEARS!!"

Ally probably has even more of those at home.

The side eye Tess is giving XD

"Hunter, carry Tess as princess until Aiden returns."

XD

Yeah Hunter, treat her like a QUEEN.

"I don't see what the appeal in this is."

WHAT THE...

UUUUUUUUHHHHHH, WHAT?!

HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?!

YOU'RE ALIVE?!?!?

HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!

"Tess, I order you to throw your pills into the fire."

Okay, NO.

NO NO NO NO NO NO.

SHE'S DIAGNOSED. SHE NEEDS THIS OR SHE COULD DIE.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME LAW THAT PREVENTS KRYSTAL FROM BEING ALLOWED TO DO THIS, RIGHT?!

God I HATE THIS.

She just has no reaction doing it too.

CAN WE GET AN F FOR TESS?

SHE'S USING YUL AS A STOOL XD

OKAY ALL IS FORGIVEN.

Okay now I'm actually kinda liking this. This is fun.

OKAY THAT DOLL HAS GOTTA BE A DEMON.

THERE'S NO OTHER POSSIBILITY.

NO DUDE YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT TO A GUY.

"Lake, I order you to remove your wig."

I mean, everyone already knows it's a wig...

Still sucks.

"Why are you so mean?"

Awwww, HONEY.

"Do you really enjoy making fun of us? Making us suffer?"

"Yes."

"Well I feel sorry for you. Only someone miserable needs to hurt others to feel better. And the puppet was wrong. You are not like your father, YOU ARE WORSE. YOU ARE A MONSTER."

"SHUT UP ALREADY."

OH GOD THAT LINE DELIVERY.

That actually got me...

Good for Lake though.

"How do you feel with everything that happened today?"

"You know... I feel good."

Props to Lake 👏

Lake just won a TON of points for me.

AAAAAWWWW

The height difference XD

But AAAAAAWWW

Lake all day, honestly. LAKE ALL DAY.

Aw, he saved one! What a gentleman!

OH MY GOD BLESS THIS MAN'S HEART❤️

HE SAVED SOME OF HER PILLS, AWWWW

HUNTER YOU JUST WON SO MANY POINTS FOR ME.

BLESS YOUR HEART.

"Listen, I know I've been a little distant and made you guys worry about me. I apologize for that."

"Well... are you ready to bring it up?"

"Yes. I'm ready."

"I'm aromantic."

NO AND IT CUTS AWAY GOSH DARN IT.

I WANT TO SEE HIM COME OUT.

"Hello friend, can we sit here?"

NO.

"Enough!"

YEAH TELL HIM OFF.

OH MY GOD GET OFF HIM.

"Don't say such toxic things."

YOU CAN FUCK OFF YUL.

NO JAMES IS ACTUALLY DOING IT?!

WHERE WAS THE "I DRAW THE LINE WITH POISON" THING YOU SAID?

"Lying? Sure. Manipulate? Whenever you want. But poison someone? That is way too much."

"I can't wait to see his reaction."

The reaction of him DYING? Yeah, OKAY. YOU SICK BASTARD.

So how is this gonna play out if Aiden is dead?

WAIT...

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

OH MY GOD IS HE POISONED?!

OH MY GOD PLEASE. PLEASE LET ME BE RIGHT. OH MY GOD.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD YEEESS!!!!!

MY PRAYERS GOT ANSWERED!!!!

YOU STUPID SHIT! YOU GRABBED THE WRONG PLATE!!

I am watching a dude vomit and suffer and I am GRINNING EAR TO EAR AND CHEERING FOR IT.

"Oh, it must be the mushroom he ate in the woods."

And James is gonna play it off as though he did nothing XD

"James! What did you do?!"

"I did what Golden wanted!"

"You were supposed to give the mushroom to Aiden, not me, idiot!"

SO JAMES REALLY JUST WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO KILL THIS GUY. OH MY GOD XD

"I don't poison people. I draw the line there. UNLESS HIS NAME IS YUL, THEN I'LL GLADLY DO IT."

OH GOD HE'S COLLAPSED... this is actually very serious...

"Now that he mentions it, the cameras caught Yul holding a mushroom when they were looking for the totem."

AND THEY SOMEHOW DIDN'T SEE JAMES WAS WITH HIM OR THEIR TALK.

OH MY GOD XD

"Yul is out of the game anyway. He had three votes."

XD

AINT NO WAY.

SO YUL WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT NO MATTER WHAT. BUT JAMES DECIDED THAT WASN'T ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO KILL HIM.

OH MY GOD. XD

THANK YOU! THANK YOU TOTAL DRAMA GODS FOR SAVING ME!!!

THANK YOU FOR ELIMINATING YUL EARLY IN THE SEASON!!

THIS IS REDEEMING A WHOLE LOT FOR ME.

They're ACTUALLY sending him to the hospital. Holy shit...

I don't really care cause it's Yul. But DAMN.

A CONTESTANT ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE.

"So Yul was planning to poison me, but you decided to poison him."

"My guy, so are one sick bastard."

"Make no mistake, I only did it to get rid of Yul."

Honestly, JAMES IS REDEEMED.

JAMES IS COMPLEELY REDEEMED OF EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE IN THE PAST.

JAMES IS THE BEST CHARACTER OF ALL TIME.

HE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HUMANITY.

TO THINK I EVER DISSED YOU IN THE PAST.

FORGIVE ME.

"Poisoning someone is too much... unless that someone is Yul."

HE USED THE SAME LOGIC. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW HE DID THIS FOR ME.

JAMES DID THIS FOR ME.

"Don't mention it, Golden. It was a well fought battle, but I did it for honor and for a better spot on your list."

HALLELUJAH, I FEEL A GREAT SENSE OF RELIEF.

I thought I would have to put up with Yul ALL SEASON.

BUT THIS WAS A GREAT TWIST THAT I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT.

Holy gosh, I feel so relieved. GOD I HATED HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH.

Did James go too far? Probably. But you know what? He earned points from ME.

As did Hunter. As did Lake.

I GET TO BREATHE NEXT EPISODE. YAY!

[syllvane]

familiar hearts- tolya yul-bataar x reader

a/n: half based on a request but kind of took on a life of its own! gender neutral, Nikolai’s sibling. can be read as a sequel to soldier, poet, king, but can also be read separately. marche is the reader’s privateer name.

They kill the Healer first, hands bound and throat slit, ruby red blood staining their garments and nothing they could do except scream, alert the rest of the ship that there are intruders.

They have Grisha of their own as well, ones who engage the Grisha on the Volkvolny.

And the Grisha on the Volkvolny are outnumbered, but they are excellent.

Tolya and Tamar fight in complete synchronization, perfectly able to predict the others move before they’ve even done it. 

Tidemakers work in tandem to try and keep the sea calm while knocking off the otkazat’sya pirates, trying their best to even the numbers, Durasts bend the metal of swords and rifles, making them all but unusable.

Even you and Nikolai are in the fray, as much as he would prefer that you stay safe, you would hear none of it.

The crew of this ship are more your family than the royals preening in Os Alta and besides, you’ve never been one to shy away from a fight. 

Nikolai is swordfighting the captain of the other ship, though he seems to be verbally jousting as well with them, judging by the remarks that you’re able to overhear.

You make your way through several of the otkazat’sya pirates- they are good, but they are not you. 

You are a flash of blade and blood and for a moment, you see that Tolya hesitates while he’s admiring you, doesn’t block when he should and a blade plunges into his flesh.

You don’t allow yourself to scream, to distract anyone else as you dashed towards him, blades tearing at your skin, and put yourself in front of him, protecting Tamar’s blindside and her brother.

You’re easier prey for the Heartrender that Tolya was fending off, and you can feel your heart begin to slow as you swing wildly.

You don’t allow yourself to fall, even when you should be unconcious on the ground next to Tolya, and when you think you’re about to, a gunshot rings out and the Heartrender falls dead. 

Your brother, livid, holds the smoking gun and with the rest of the pirates dead, rushes over to you.

“Are you okay? Do you realize how stupid-” His sentence stops, his gaze going behind you, to Tamar kneeling over her dying brother. “Oh.”

You collapsed to your knees as well, looking at the man that you would’ve died to save.

You put your hands on his arm gently, shaking your head.

“You can’t go. You can’t die.” You said, your voice breaking.

“You looked… magnificent out there.”

“No, Tolya, you don’t get to die. Not yet.” You said, more assurance in your voice and Tamar looked at you miserably.

“There is nothing you can do.”

Nikolai grabbed your shoulder, as if to pull you away and you shook him off.

You closed your eyes. 

You can’t die. Don’t leave me.

You don’t see it, of course, but tissue begins to stitch itself back together- slowly, a Healer with no experience at all was trying to mend something that they loved.

Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.

“Marche.” Nikolai said hesitantly. You ignored him.

It’s gruesome to watch, how flesh moves like thread to reconnect itself.

“Marche.” Tolya said, his voice no longer weak and you opened your eyes in surprise to see him sitting, leaned against his sister and everyone on the ship looking at you.

And before you can notice your handiwork, your head hits the deck of the ship and the unconsciousness that you’ve been staving off greets you like an old friend.

When you wake after what feels like the longest sleep in your life, it is in Nikolai’s chambers and with Tamar sitting next to you.

Before you can say anything, she turns to look at you, feeling your heart speed up.

“You saved my brothers life,” She said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “I’ll spend my life repaying that debt.”

You shook your head.

“Whatever I did, I did freely. Out of love.”

Tamar smiled and sniffed.

“He’s been in here reciting poetry to you, whenever he isn’t above deck.” She said, a smile appearing on your lips before she looked up at the ceiling. “He’s been listening for any differences in your heartbeat, so I’m sure Nikolai and him will be down here any moment.”

As if on cue, there was frantic knock on the door and without wait for an answer, the door opened, revealing Tolya and Nikolai.

“Be gentle.” Tamar said sternly. Tolya paid no attention, rushing forward and embracing you tightly, nearly knocking the wind out of you.

“Thank you.” He mumbled quietly, his words a prayer against your skin.

“It was nothing.”

Nikolai cleared his throat and Tolya smiled, pulling away from you and granting Nikolai access to you.

He smiled at you, striding across the room to hug you, more gently than Tolya.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like the Volkvolny ran me over while I was asleep.” You half-joked before realizing your mistake as Nikolai began to fret over you. “Nik I’m fine, I feel fine.”

“You scared me. You scared all of us. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t know either. Is everyone else okay? How many losses did we suffer?”

“You need to worry about getting better before you start worrying about others. I say this as your brother and as your Captain.”

“Tolya?”

“We’re in rough shape, but most of the crew survived.”

“Since when have you started taking orders from her?” Nikolai frowned. “Don’t answer that. Promise me that you’ll get your rest before you start healing others.”

“I don’t even know how I did it the first time.”

“Exactly, all the more reason to rest and wait until we can make a stop in Novyi Zem where you can learn from teachers.”

“Nik, I can-”

“No. I love you, and I know you just want to help our crew. I want to help them as well, but I can’t lose you. You have no idea what it was like, watching you fall unconcious.” 

You didn’t say anything before nodding silently.

“Okay.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking a step back.

“Well, I better go make sure that the crew hasn’t mutinied.” He said lightly and you rolled your eyes.

He smiled, giving you a nod before exiting. Tolya made to move but Tamar reached her hand out, shaking her head.

“I’ll go. You two can chat.” She smiled and Tolya gave her a grateful look, moving to take her seat as she exited, the door clicking shut.

“How did you heal me?” He asked slowly and you sighed, shaking your head.

“I… I don’t know, I just kept thinking over and over again that I couldn’t lose you. So, sheer willpower, I guess.” 

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Loving you has always been easy.”

[stray-kaz]

Awoken : a Tolya Yul-Bataar x f!reader blurb

Summary: You are Tolya’s universe. You appear to have some kind of allergy beyond the norm to the gas in Ohval’s locked chamber and Wylan’s cure does not help you.

A/N: Just pretend he’s saying your name, not Jesper’s lol.

You were still out cold. The moment the foreign gas had entered the air, you had dropped like a stone and even the butterflies hadn’t woken you. Wylan had knelt next to you, concern radiating in waves, waiting, waiting, until Tolya had skidded down by your hip and all but shoulder barged him out of the way.

He had breathed your name and gently shaken you by the shoulders, but other than a brief fluttering of the eyelashes, you had not moved.

And now, the fighting had ceased and Tolya was no longer standing in a defensive position in front of you. With his gaze fixed on Sankta Neyar, he crouched and gathered your still body into his arms. He carried you to her and she glanced unflinchingly from your face to Tolya’s.

“That story you told, about your husband being your universe. Well, this woman is mine. She was not cured by the butterflies” he said stoically, though he was crumbling behind his tough façade. “Help her. Please.”

The others all watched curiously as Neyar passed her hands over your body and a rust coloured mist filtered out through your skin and clothes. Jesper’s eyes widened as yours slowly opened and you blinked up at Tolya, a slow, sleepy smile curling your lips.

“Oh, hello” you said, as if you were surprised to see him.

He let out an animal sound and crushed you to him, covering your mouth with his. Out of respect, the others turned away, but Tolya was already moving, carrying you away from the courtyard, through the empty gas chamber and out into the faded light, his grip on you never once faltering.

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “what if we ran off and got married.”

For Tolya x Reader please!!

hehehehehehehehe. Okay. Short and fluffy.

Place Your Bets - Tolya Yul Bataar

Content Warnings: Mentions of Gambling. No Beta/Proof Reading.

The waiting in Ketterdam was what had you most on edge, when you were faced with a plan or something to do it was always easy to focus on the next step and the one after, but right now, it was just a waiting game. You had to let The Crows get themselves together and you had no particular time frame for how long that would take.

They understood how imminent things needed to be, but that didn't mean anything for how quickly they could get themselves ready to leave.

Jesper seemed to be the first to be ready, eager to be doing something as well, but eager in a different way to you. He fidgets with the edge of his waistcoat and pulls a single coin from a pocket, he looks surprised as he folds the coin over his fingers and back again, a pretty little trick but it made him less fidgety.

"How long is this going to take?" Zoya asks impatiently. Zoya was as direct and often singular minded in her directness as they come. She had a job to do and she wanted it done. She taps her fingers on the table and looks to Jesper as to demand an answer.

"I don't know," Jesper says, "but I can bet that Nina will be the last to be here," his grin is wicked as he holds up the coin. A gambler's smile through and through.

"Only an idiot would take that bet," Zoya states bringing her tea to her lips.

Tolya leans in closer next to you, both of your backs to the wall, watching the doors closely. "I wonder what bets are friends have placed on us," he says.

"Tamar will have bet you will not be bringing her back what she asked for, and will win that bet," you state. Tolya gives you a playful frown.

"You cannot know that," he insists.

"Oh, Tolya, yes I can," your tone is filled with laughter as you talk to him. "I know you well enough."

"Okay, well Nikolai has surely bet that you will come back insisting you get sent on more missions that require trips to Ketterdam," Tolya says. You smile.

"I like the atmosphere, and I would like to enjoy it, which I cannot do while the weight of Ravka and perhaps everything is relying on us here, so maybe I do wish to return under less... dire circumstances," you say.

"They will have bet that Zoya has threatened violence over my poetry," Tolya admits.

"That I get into heads with Zoya," you say. "Which admittedly has already happened."

"They probably even bet that we are having this conversation while waiting for the others," Tolya muses.

You sigh. "We are simply far too predictable, we should work on that, do something that really surprises them," you chuckle glancing up at Tolya. His golden eyes are focused on the conversations at the table, even if his concentration is here with you.

"What if we ran off and got married?" Tolya asks. You freeze up and then attempt to shake your head slightly from side to side as if to dislodge the idea from your brain, because you must've misheard him.

"What?" you ask, hoping this time you might hear him correctly.

"What if we ran off and got married?" He repeats. "No one would be expecting us to do that."

"That is very true," you say, voice wavering as you reply. You cannot understand how he would suggest such a thing so nonchalantly. Even though you know he is joking.

"Can you imagine, the look on Tamar's face if we returned with Neshyener and married," Tolya continues.

"I do not know which she would find harder to believe," you admit.

"The marriage," Tolya says confidently.

"Nikolai would take it very personally that we hadn't invited him," you add.

"Tamar would never let me hear the end of it," Tolya agrees. "But they would never see it coming."

You laugh gently now, the joke settling. "All bets would truly be off."

You are glad that you are able to have these moments, with Tolya, these moments when you are not two people sent somewhere for a reason. You are just two friends, side by side in a Ketterdam establishment, exchanging words like the world may not be ending.

Even if part of you might long for more, these moments were your favourite, and they made you feel calmer in the waiting.

"So, shall we?" Tolya asks after a moment of prolonged silence.

"Hm?" you respond, thinking you missed something he has said.

"Get married," he asks. You laugh, but he just smiles down at you.

"You're joking?" you ask. He shrugs, smile still on his lips as he turns back to looking at the others, almost fully gathered now.

"I think we have time before they're ready," Tolya says.

You pull away from the wall to look at him properly and he looks back at you in return and he looks just the same, no change in demeanour, no mocking, just Tolya.

"I cannot tell if you're serious," you state. He shrugs again. "Tolya?"

"I had never really considered getting married at all," he admits, "I had no need, but something Tamar said before we left, it had me thinking, that is all."

"Dangerous," you joke, still trying to find where your breath has run off too, with Tolya and all this talk of marriage, and how you're not even sure if he is kidding or proposing.

"Maybe," he smiles. "Have you thought about it?"

"Marrying you?" you ask. Yes, a lot, more than you would like to admit.

He laughs. "No, marrying at all," he says. You feel like a flower has started to grow in your chest and it's pushing it's way up your throat.

"Not too much, but a little I suppose," you admit. He nods.

"If I were to marry anyone," he says, "I would marry you."

Zoya snaps her fingers at the two of you. "We are supposed to be leaving," she states, irritation boundless.

Tolya nods at her and throws you a sideways glance as he moves to join them, assuming you will follow in suit.

You try but every movement is slow, your brain is working with your body at less than half it's normal speed, while it tries to process what just happened.

"If I were to marry anyone,"

"I would marry you."

He had said it so gently, so easily, like it wasn't the most earthshattering thing he could have said to you. Like it didn't make your head spin, make your heart race and make you lose your balance. He said it like it was something you should have known. Something to not make a big deal of. Something that a person just says to another.

"You coming?" Zoya demands looking at you. Tolya smiles at you from the doorway.

"Yes Zoya," you say trying to pull yourself back together, "I am." You had things that needed to be dealt with now, everything else just had to wait.

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter XIII - A Leap in the Dark

Chapter Summary: Time passes and you continue working on an antidote for jurda parem. But when one night you see something that was supposed to be kept a secret from you, you're pulled away from it. You travel once more to the place where Aleksander died, but this time with more companions. There you witness something extraordinary that may change everything you all know.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader

Characters: Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lantsov, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Yuri Vedenen, Tamar Kit-Bataar, Sankt Juris, Sankta Elizaveta, Sankt Grigori

Word Count: 4713

A/N: This chapter contains plot and excerpts from "King of Scars".

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

For some time now, David has been mostly busy with his new project. Sometimes, you can see he wants to talk to you about it and ask for your opinion. But you are allowed to work on only one thing. Which is nearly perfected. Thanks to you and Alkemi, with whom you have to work with, even though they whisper behind your back.

One day, Nikolai comes to your laboratory in Lazlayon. That's where you're working now. In an underground facility. You just love it.

'How can I help you, Your Highness?' you ask, not looking up from your work.

'You could give me an antidote, but I know you're doing the best you can,' Lantsov answers, stopping next to your table. 'Did you miss me, [L/N]?'

'My heart was dying from longing,' you reply sarcastically.

'Then it's a good thing I'm taking you back to Os Alta,' the King says. You look up at him, interested.

'Back to my cell?' you ask.

'Of course not,' Nikolay huffs. 'You'll live in your old room, as promised.'

'Why do you want me there?' you ask. Lantsov looks at you.

'I need David by my side,' he finally replies. 'And he made me promise I won't leave you here without him.'

'Sweet David,' you say, smiling softly. 'Very well, Your Highness. I shall go and pack.'

'And Zoya said you rarely follow orders,' the King says, as you clean your table. You snort.

'Only the stupid ones,' you say. Nikolai stares at you for a moment. Finally, he nods and walks away.

Together with Tolya, he brings you, David and Nadia back to the capital using an underground tunnel. There you work as usual. And take some breaks. Saints know you need them. Of course, you spend them alone. Kostyk and Zoya are always busy, and no one else is willing to be in your presence. Still, it's nothing new. It's always been like that. The only other person who wanted to be around you was… Aleksander. But now he's gone.

One day, you're walking through the corridor, when you almost bump into someone. A monk. But in black robes for some reason.

'I am so sorry,' you apologise to him. The man opens his mouth to probably accept your apology… but then his eyes fall on your kefta. Your last present from your General.

'You're [Y/N] [L/N],' he whispers in… awe? What a weird man.

'And you are…?' you ask, frowning. But before he can answer, Tolya, who's been here with him as well, takes him away. Thanks to you looking at them as they leave, you see the worried look the Heartrender casts your way.

'Hm,' you hum and go on your way. But you change your original course. You start eavesdropping. And you find out the monk is the leader of a new cult. They want to make your beloved a Saint. You almost laugh when you hear that. The Darkling? A Saint? Oh, you loved him, still do, but you know better than anyone that he was no saint. You spare no more thoughts to this cult.

At night, you sneak out for a ride. You still love the darkness and find comfort in it. Which you don't find this time, as you see Tolya, Tamar (Tolya's twin, also a Heartrender) and Zoya hurrying away somewhere. You don't hesitate. You're tired of secrets. You follow them until you reach Balakirev.

On the main square they split up. Tolya and Tamar enter a building. Zoya stays in the shadows. You hide in another ones. After a moment, the Squaller suddenly uses her powers to bring herself on top of a bell tower. You raise your eyebrows, surprised at her stupidity. But you're worried about your friend. So, you hurry to her, but use the stairs.

You hear her shouts and toiling of a bell. You speed up. You throw open the door to the bell tower.

'Zoya!' you shout, rushing forward, but then you stop, shocked. Holding the Squaller is something that looks closely like a nichevo. Nazyalensky looks at you with panic. The creature raises her higher.

'Let her go!' you cry, running to them. But then the monster freezes, so you stop again as well. It looks at you for a moment. Then… it lets Zoya go. She falls on the ground with a grunt.

'What-' you start, but you're cut off, when the monster seems to transform. Shadows disappear. It falls on the ground but no longer looking like a nichevo. It's a man a with golden hair. Bleeding and unconscious. But you still recognise him. Nikolai.

You stare at Zoya in shock, not even registering Tolya and Tamar showing up behind you. Your former friend is looking at you with wide eyes, her face pale. You were clearly not supposed to know this secret.

'What are you doing here?' Tolya asks harshly. You don't turn, just still stare at Zoya.

'I was sneaking out when I saw you leaving, so I followed you instead,' you explain, your voice flat. 'You've been acting suspicious and since I'm kept in the dark, I wanted to finally learn something. I didn't expect that, though. By how organised you seemed, I'm guessing it's not the first time.'

They don't answer. You exhale shakily.

'How?' you ask. 'I mean… Was he even hurt by one of them?'

'Just before the Darkling died,' Tamar answers. 'It left him with a wound.'

'Poisoned him with merzost,' you say quietly. Zoya perks up at that.

'Did you find a way to save him?' she asks. 'Did you find a way to get rid of it from his body?'

You look at her. Aleksander had no visible scars. During the fight they haven't even realised he's healed. You could lie… but what for?

'I did,' you admit but shake your head. 'But I don't think it will work here. Kirigan wasn't changing into a nichevo. Merzost was feeding on his body. I could… try, but I don't think it is going to help.'

'Try at least,' Tamar says. You bite your lip. You sigh and walk to Nikolai. You take out an alexandrite from your pocket. You kneel by the King's side and put the stone in his hand. You clasp it and close your eyes. You focus. You try to reach for merzost in Lantsov.

There. You try to grab it. But it slips away from you. You try again and again. Suddenly, there's a hand on your shoulder, shaking you harshly. You blink and look up. You see Zoya's wide eyes.

'You were shaking and your nose is bleeding,' she explains, her own voice shaking.

'I couldn't grab it,' you explain after a beat. Then, your eyes roll back and you fall on the ground. The Squaller's alarmed shouts are the last thing you hear before sleep takes you in its hold.

*

The next day, Nikolai finds you in a garden. You're looking at flowers, but there's no admiration in your eyes. Just the same look the King always sees when he talks to you. With no light in your eyes.

'I'm sorry,' you say after he stares at you for a moment. He shakes his head.

'You tried your best,' he says and stands next to you. 'Do you have any idea what's happening to me?'

'Merzost is… complicated,' you say. 'I've studied Morozova's journal but most of it was gibberish. And I've never really had a chance to study nichevoy'a. What's happening to you is different than Kirigan's pollution. It was killing him, while I think it's trying…'

'To take control of me,' Nikolay finishes when you trail off. You nod.

'Has it been happening since you were attacked?' you ask after a beat. Lantsov sighs.

'No,' he denies, shaking his head. 'Is started a few months ago. Coincidentally, around the same time "the miracles" started happening.'

'Bridge from bones etc.?' you ask and the King nods. 'You think they're connected.'

'To each other… and to the Darkling,' he confirms, his expression grim. Your eyes snap to him.

'When I turn… I seem to be always heading toward the Fold,' he explains. 'Same as the miracles. Do you know the story of Sankt Feliks?'

You look at him, surprised at this sudden change of topic. You nod slowly.

'Apparently, the place where he died was a holy place,' Nikolai says. 'Men came there to be purified.'

'The obisbaya,' you whisper. 'The Ritual of the Burning Thorn. I read about it. I don't remember the details. Is it what will you try to do?'

'I think it is my only hope,' Lantsov confirms. 'I plan to go to that place, visiting the miracles sites on my way there.'

'And where is… there?' you ask, but you already suspect the answer. He's silent for a moment.

'The Fold,' he finally answers. 'The centre of it.'

'Where he created the Fold,' you say. 'And then died. Maybe it all is really connected. I understand why you want to check it, though. What I don't understand… is that monk I saw yesterday. Why is he here?'

'I didn't want the Apparat to start a battle between his men and Yuri's pilgrims,' Nikolai explains. 'He's my guest. And now he will accompany me to the Fold. I learnt about the ritual from him. He needs to gets me the details of it. With Tolya.'

'What does he want in return?' you ask. The King's mouth twitch upward.

'He wants the Darkling to be made a saint,' he answers. 'He wants me to support it.'

'He's a fool,' you say after a beat. 'I loved him, but he definitely wasn't a saint. He didn't care about otkazat'sya. He received too much hatred from them. You're not going to fulfil his wish, are you?'

'He needs to believe I consider it,' Nikolai says. 'I do understand him a bit. The Darkling was a presence that drew people in. He needs an ideal to believe in.'

You hum. You look at the flowers again. The King observes you.

'I'd like you to come with us as well,' he says. You frown at him.

'What?' you ask. 'Why?'

'Because you stopped me from killing Zoya last night,' Nikolai answers. 'It listened to you. I have some precautions always taken at night. But if they fail, like they did last night… I want to be certain I am stopped before I hurt someone. And since it listened to you…'

You stare at each other for a long moment. You finally nod after a moment.

'Alright,' you agree. 'But let's hope it won't come to it.'

'Obviously,' Lantsov agrees, grinning, but then his look softens. 'Thank you, [Y/N]. Truly.'

'Don't thank me yet,' you say. 'I may kill that monk if he will annoy me too much.'

'I think Zoya would help you hide the body, so no one would ever find out,' the King says. Your lips twitch slightly. You turn your head back to the flowers. Taking his cue, Nikolai bids you farewell and walks away, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

When you set out, at first you travel with Tolya and Yuri in the coach, helping them deciphering the texts about the ritual. But after a day of getting awed glances from the monk, you threaten Nikolai that you'll leave if he doesn't let you travel on a horse.

You're not a fool, you know the couch was offered to you not because they need your help with those texts, but because they want as little people as possible to see you, the Darkling's most trusted Grisha. But seeing the fury in your eyes, the King relents. Under the condition you'll wear your old kefta. After glancing at Yuri, who's looking at you as if planning to start campaigning for you to become a saint as well, you agree.

At evenings, when you arrive at local noblemen's houses, you spend little time with everyone, not wanting anyone to realise who you are. You don't want Lantsov to have troubles because of you. Luckily, no one pays you much attention.

In towns you visit, you watch Nikolai using his charm on people, helping them. They love him. And he cares about them. You see that. Part of you wishes that Aleksander saw that young Lantsov can be a good king. You wish they had worked together, instead of fighting. You imagine they'd be unstoppable together and would accomplish great things. Like actually fix Ravka and win the war.

In Aden, you split from the group. You are nervous about entering the Fold. True, you've done it a few times in the past months, but this feels different. Zoya has noticed your state earlier and asked you about it. After a moment of silence, you answered her that it feels like you're going to say your final goodbye and you're not sure if you're ready. You saw the sympathy in her eyes and you suspect that's the reason they let you leave their side.

However, a scream causes you to turn around and hurry back. It's day, so you're surprised that Nikolai has turned, as they tell you he's always done it at night. But it's not the creature that has attacked them.

Khergud. Biologically augmented Shu Han soldiers designed to capture Grisha. Created by Fabrikators dosed with jurda parem, khergud are constructed from the bodies of those who have died. They are heavily modified, the most notable addition being rapid-beat wings made of metal and canvas, as well as increased senses and a layer of metal skin.

Metal.

You find your companions. You see Tamar and Tolya under some net. Nikolai is fighting with one khergud. Zoya is nowhere to be found.

You bring your hands together and focus. You see her widening her eyes in surprise. She's lifted in the air but not by her wings.

'Find Zoya!' you shout to the King, who's already noticed you running to them. Lantsov doesn't need to be told twice.

Your opponent is fighting back. But you're one with metals in her body. You control her now. And you make her stay still, as you slit her throat. Once she falls on the ground, dead, you help the twins.

In the meantime, Zoya saves herself using lightning, but falls. Nikolai changes into the monster and saves her, but she has no idea he's in control, so she shocks him as well. They fall but Zoya cushions their fall. The King is himself again.

Yuri is shocked as well. Nikolai promises to explain everything to him and asks him to keep silent. While they wake up the monk that was their guide and was hit during the attack, you focus on metals around you. But you don't feel more khergud.

Later, when they explain things to Yuri, you're not with them. You want to study the bodies of khergud. They're hidden now from the villagers, you don't want to spread panic after all, but it's not a problem for you. However, you don't find anything useful. Nothing you wouldn't already knew.

'The monk placated?' you ask Tamar when you return. You meet her in front of your room. She's going to watch you, no doubt.

'For now,' she answers, eyeing you. 'Why are you really here?'

You pause. You know the twins don't trust you. And they will not believe anything you say.

'I am planning to bring the Darkling back right under your noses,' you say flatly. Tamar glares at you. She almost growls. You scoff.

'I do care about this country, Tamar,' you say. 'And I believe Nikolai is a good king. I want to help.'

You walk past her and enter the room. You exhale slowly and prepare for bed. But you don't sleep. You can't. Not when you're so close to the Fold. You're in for yet another sleepless night.

*

You enter the Fold in disguises. You travel on the skiff you've built years ago. Other Durasts have repaired it after it was destroyed when the Darkling attempted to take Alina's power. They did good. You're proud of them.

You're on deck the whole time, staring ahead. You're to meet with pilgrims. You're not sure you can do it. To see people who worship a man you love. They think of him as the Starless Saint. To you he's just Aleksander.

'What is that?' you suddenly hear Nikolai ask. You frown and look at the sight ahead.

'A lake?' Zoya asks.

'No,' Yuri denies. 'A miracle.'

'If I pointed to a leaky faucet, you'd say it was a miracle,' Zoya says, annoyed. You barely manage to stop a smile forming on your lips. You focus on the dark mass. It is a gleaming black disk of stone, at least a mile across, perfectly round and shiny as a mirror. Around it are tents and shelters. The pilgrims.

'This is the place where the Starless One fell,' says Yuri with reverence. You don't hear more. Your mind recreates the scene. Aleksander on the ground. You on your knees. His last words to you. His lifeless look.

You turn sharply and march away, fighting back the tears and trying to calm down your breathing. You stop on the other end of the skiff. You're not ready. You can't say goodbye yet.

A moment later you turn. You watch Nikolai and Zoya leaving. You're glad you don't have to go yet. You don't want to face the pilgrims. The Squaller clearly didn't want either, as she returns fuming. You observe her, worried. A moment later Tolya and Tamar jump from the skiff. You walk to the remained three.

Zoya twists her wrist. You feel the change in the air. She sands shift, forming familiar and unfamiliar people. Wind howls. You look around with worry. The pilgrims are panicking down there. Nikolai tries to stop Zoya. Finally, she lets the sand drop.

You take a step toward her, but then you feel weird. A wave of dizziness strikes you. The world seems to flicker and warp. You fall hard on the floor, feeling like you're about to throw up. Others seem to have the same problems. Yuri does throw up.

'What just happened?' Zoya asks, pushing to her feet. 'Why-'

She stops, seeing that somehow everyone is gone. And everything, too, even the tents. The sky is different as well. No longer blue but a grey twilight.

'Where are Tolya and Tamar?' Nikolai asks.

'Where are they?' Yuri asks. 'What happened to them? What did you do?'

'I didn't do anything!' Zoya protests. 'It was a little storm. No one was in any danger.'

'Perhaps we are gone?' you suggest. But you have no idea how and where.

'Am I having some kind of episode?' Nikolai asks, staring into the distance. 'Or are you seeing this too?'

You turn. Above you looms a palace from sand. Or maybe more like a city. You marvel at the sight in front of you.

'Whoever did this, is a genius,' you say in awe. 'How-'

You're interrupted by a shriek. You look around, alarmed. Volcra?

'It's a miracle,' says Yuri, falling on his knees. Another shrieks. Dark shapes seem to break from the palace and move toward you at incredible speed.

'It's not a miracle,' Nikolai says, reaching for his revolvers. 'It's a trap.'

Bees. You see bees. And… something. Something that change shape. And also… a dragon. You finally went mad, then.

'Zoya, say something spiteful,' Nikolai pleads.

'Why?' Zoya asks faintly.

'Because I'm fairly certain I'm hallucinating and in my dreams you're much nicer,' the King explains.

'You're an idiot, Nikolai,' the Squaller says.

'Not your best work.'

'I'm sorry I can't deliver better wordplay right now. I seem to be paralysed with fear.'

'Okay… let's not panic and think,' you say, albeit also fearfully.

'Do something!' Zoya says to Nikolai.

'Like what?' the King asks.

'You have guns!' the Squaller points out.

'I'm not going to shoot at bees,' he protests.

'It would be hard,' you agree.

'Then shoot at that thing,' Zoya says. Nikolai opens fire at the grotesque. His bullets struck its shifting body. But they are absorbed in its body, then emerge a second later.

Above you, the dragon roars and spreads its wings. It fires flames at you. Luckily, Zoya creates a dome of air over your heads in time. But you still feal the heat. The dragon stops and shrikes.

'I think it's safe to say we're outgunned,' says Nikolai.

'Lay down your arms,' the grotesque says in a chorus of voices.

'You first,' you murmur.

'In a moment,' replies Nikolai. 'I'm finding them very reassuring right now. Yuri, get off your damned knees and at least try to look like you can fight.'

'Or at least defend yourself,' you add. 'Because certainly no one is in a mood to fight and look after you.'

'You don't understand,' Yuri says, his eyes full of tears.

'That is entirely correct, and I hate not understanding,' you say and threaten your enemies with your fist. 'Who are you?! What do you want?! Where are we?! And how did we get here?!'

'[Y/N], do try not to piss them off,' Nikolai says nervously. You look at him, fuming.

'Oh, and they can piss me off?' you huff.

'I'm going to raise the sands again,' says Zoya. 'If I bring a big enough storm, we'll have cover to get… somewhere. You'll need to work the sails. I won't be able to control the storm and direct the skiff.'

'Do it,' Nikolai says. He opens fire, trying to lend Zoya cover as she sweeps her arms forward and the sands rise with a whoosh. It forces the creatures back, giving you and Lantsov time to seize the lines, releasing the sail. The canvas snaps, filling the air, driving you toward what you all hope are the borders of the Fold.

Suddenly the ground beneath you seems to buckle. The skiff lists precariously starboard as one of its runners is peeled away from the sand. Zoya and Yuri lose their footing, but the Squaller does not falter and keeps the winds in motion. You and Nikolai try to use the storm to right the skiff. But it's like the sands are alive and the skiff tilts higher.

'We're going over!' you shout with alarm. You land in an unceremonious heap. The King somehow manages to quickly gather himself up and rolls you all to safety. But the skiff thumps harmlessly down to its other side and the sands instantly calm.

Shapes emerge out of the sand – a regiment of sand soldiers. Without faces but with detailed uniforms. Zoya raises her hands and sends a fierce gust of wind slamming into them, but they stand solid and unmoving.

'What are they?' she asks. The soldiers keep coming.

'I think we're being shown just how overmatched we are,' Lantsov says.

'By whom?' you ask. The sand soldiers take a step as one. You, Nikolai and Zoya stand back-to-back, surrounded. Next to you, Yuri remains on his knees, his face filled with a kind of manic elation.

'I don't know how to fight this,' the Squaller says. 'Is it the part where we die well?'

'No, this is the part where the king of Ravka surrenders himself and the love we never had lives on in ballads and songs,' Lantsov denies. You look at him, surprised.

'Nikolai,' snaps Zoya, 'don't you dare.'

'Give me another option, Nazyalensky. One of us needs to survive this,' the King says and lowers his voice. 'Get back to the capital and rally the Grisha.'

'I don't like this plan,' you say. Nikolai ignores you. He tosses his revolvers to the sand and raises his hands.

'I'm not sure who I'm surrendering to-' he starts. The dragon interrupts him, turning sharply in the air and diving for you.

'Zoya, [Y/N], get down!' Lantsov shouts, lunging at you two.

'Like hell,' your friend mutters. She knocks you and the King into the sands, bracing before him with her feet planted and her arms raised.

The dragon unleashes its fire and Nazyalensky lets loose the storm. For a moment they seem to be evenly matched. Then, she manages to take the air out of the creature's lungs. Lantsov lunges for his guns, ready to seize the opportunity, but the dragon releases a deafening roar. Another flames leave its mouth, this time blue, brighter and hotter.

'Zoya!' you and Nikolai shout, but the Squaller has already fisted her hands and raised them again, driving an icy wind against the dragon's onslaught. She screams, struggling to fight back. Next to you, Lantsov opens fire on the dragon, but the bullets melt before they even come near the creature's scales because of the temperature of the fire.

And then your friend collapses. The storm ends. You and Nikolai hurry to her, both of you relieved she's still alive. The dragon withdraws its fire. It hovers in the air, watching.

'Zoya,' you say softly, as the King takes her in his arms. The dragon lands before you, folding its wings. You put yourself in front of your friends, though you're terrified.

'Stay back,' you say, bringing your hands together. You have no idea how you could fight it. It would probably turn you to ashes, before your control of metal in its body could hurt it.

'The Durast girl,' says the dragon, causing you to widen your eyes. 'The traitor. The light in the darkness. And the boy king. The war hero. The prince with a demon curled inside his heart.'

'Saints,' you whisper, shocked it can talk. The dragon seems to laugh, as it leans forward.

'If I wanted to harm her, she would be ashes, girl,' it says. 'So would you all.'

'Then what, this was your version of a warm greeting?' you scoff. It rumbles with laugh again.

'I wanted to see what she could do,' it explains. Just then Zoya releases a howl of pure anguish. You and Nikolai stare at her, surprised.

'What is it?' he asks, looking for any wounds. But she casts him off, scrabbling in the sand, another wail of rage and pain tearing from her chest.

'For Saints' sake, Zoya, what's wrong?' you ask. She snatches up something that glints in her hand and clutch it to her chest, sobbing. It takes the King a moment to force her fingers open. Cradled in her palm, you see the broken halves of her silver cuff. Her amplifier shattered.

'No,' she sobs. 'No.'

'Yes,' hisses the dragon. You glare at him, but then look softly at your friend. You can try to mend it… but it may be even beyond your abilities.

'Juris, stop this,' says a woman, emerging from between the rows of soldiers. She wears a dress of blooming roses that blossom and die in curling vines around her body. Her golden hair is a buzzing mass of bees that swarm and cluster around her face.

'You got your battle,' she says to the dragon. 'They know what they are facing.'

'The first bit of excitement we've had in years, Elizaveta, and you seem determined to deny me my fun,' the creature says. 'Very well.'

It heaves its shoulders in a shrug and shifts and shrinks, becoming a towering man in finely wrought chainmail that glitters like black scales. The sand soldiers part to reveal the grotesque, his body still shifting and changing, now covered in eyes.

'What is it?' Nikolai demands, as your mouth forms an 'o' from shock. 'Who are you?'

'Do the people not pray for Saints?' asks the man called Juris, looking at you with amusement.

'At last,' weeps Yuri, steel kneeling. 'At last.'

'Come,' says Elizaveta, extending a hand. 'We will explain all.'

You and Nikolai understand at the same time. Sankta Lizabeta, who was martyred in a field of roses. Sankt Juris, who-

'So,' you say. 'I was right with the "Saints".'

'You slew the dragon,' the King says to Juris. 'It's… it's all in all of the stories.'

'Sometimes the stories are rough on the details,' says Juris with a gleaming smile. 'Come, boy king, Durast girl. It's time we talked.'

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/134809147