#yugyeom x female reader

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 11 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, mentions of verbal and physical abuse, descriptions of a toxic relationship, mentions of s*icidal thoughts, profanity, descritpion of a fire, the reader loves her cat very much, another day of the reader and Chan being annoying (the latter especially), jealousy, the reader is going through major changes (good for her), another bunch of Taylor Swift references, the reader has yet another traumatic experience; typos

In the parts with the cat it's very much self-inserted. Shout out to my cat and all other kitties and doggies <3

'Dal' stands for 'moon' :)

Word count: 5411

Author’s note: welp, there's a lot to read lol. Idk why this whole work lacks happy moments so much, I'm trying my best to make it more positive, but in the end... We get this lol. Still, hope you enjoy another part! I'll try posting part 12 in a couple of weeks, but, as my summer vacation is over, I'll have a lot of work to do, so I cannot promise you an exact date. Again, thank you fro reading and supporting 'the perfume on the shelf' and enjoy the ride! (put ya seatbelts on)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 10 | Part 12

Another day to cry in the bathroom of your therapist’s office. 

Wiping your red cheeks, you took a deep breath in, trying to calm this sudden outburst of pain down. Talking about your unsuccessful attempt to go back together with Chan resurfaced in something deep, something that has affected you too much to even be able to handle it on your own. Your fear of rejection has finally become real - and instead of feeling calm after so many years of being scared of it, you found yourself utterly broken. 

As long as you could remember yourself, this fear of being rejected has pressured you into staying out of the picture, of never saying what you truly feel. You were shaking at the thought of confessing to Yugyeom, when you were a teenager; your breath was hitched in your throat when you decided to join that writing club at university; the idea of asking anybody out made you sick to your stomach. And finally, all the mess with Chan was partially launched by your inability to ask direct questions, to come clean eventually. However, your initial choice was to live a lie, to let yourself have dust thrown into your eyes, to rather have smoke and mirrors than an honest relationship. What does this say about you? 

“I don’t know”, you muttered, looking at the reflection in the mirror. “I don’t know”, you repeated, sniffing and exhaling once again. When you were nineteen, everything seemed so easy. When you were nineteen, you seemed to know everything. 

“What would nineteen-year old you say about this whole situation?” Your therapist’s question was left unanswered, rather as introspection for the next two weeks. What would she say, really? That’s a walk in the park for her.

“Dump his ass”, the advice you used to give all of your girlfriends popped up in your head. “Find a new hobby, work more, go out more - do anything to forget him. He’s not worth your tears and time”. Easier said than done. 

You sighed once again, before collecting your lip gloss back into your purse. It’s time to go home and prepare for going out; even though you try following your own advice, the thought of Chan is a lingering memory, a signature left right on your forever restless brain. 

Running up the stairs on your subway station, you checked your messages to find Yugyeom and Eunjoo discussing art in the chat. Two weeks ago, after the airport incident, when Yugyeom was dropping you off at your apartment complex (the conversation with your parents about your early departure from the countryside was guided by Gyeom perfectly), Eunjoo caught the sight of the two of you while she was waiting for her best friend on the bench. For some reason she decided it would be a great idea to start going on ‘double dates’ - although, you could barely call them dates at all. She was unsure about her relationship with Minho, so she needed you to check up on him. You didn’t want to be the third wheel, so… So she invited Yugyeom. And now the four of you had a group chat. Was it a nightmare? Absolutely. You found out what nerds Gyeom and Eunjoo were; discussing everything - even rocket science, are you kidding me? - while you and Minho intervened in their intellectual conversations with memes and ridiculous videos to watch. For instance, when you sent a Tarot reading video, just for shits and giggles, just to send a follow up message, “This woman said I’m gonna have a billionaire husband in a couple of months” - only to get bashed by two absolute smartasses for your silly little hobby, as they threw in their pieces of mind on how Tarot is a scam, and it doesn’t work, and people like that woman are a fraud - et cetera, et cetera, blah-blah-blah. Minho, on the other hand, was pretty supportive (and a pain in the ass for Eunjoo and Yugyeom) when he sent in ten more videos of that same creator, chiming in with his comments about toxicity. Yeah, this chat was a shit show; however, it was bringing you too much joy to hate it.

In your apartment your cat greeted you with irritated meows and sweet purrs when you took her in your arms as if she was a baby. “Mama’s sorry, Gaeul”, you said, kissing her in between ears, “but I promise I’ll be back sooner than later. Just a couple of hours, okay?” She started gently biting your hand as you tried to scratch her tummy. “And you get to be the boss of the house. Not just for a few hours”, you kissed her nose and she put her paw on your cheek, “but forever, Gaeul”. She jumped from your arms as soon as you heard a loud stomp and a screeching curse - ugh, your neighbours were fighting again. How could a family that looks picture perfect hate each other so much? Well, you knew the answer to the question, but still, it never failed to arise every time you heard these two fight.

“You’re a piece of shit, Hajoon!” You sighed as you heard the man’s voice. “A piece of shit wife and mother!” This was the unfortunate reality-TV-turned-real-life program you had to listen to; the walls were rather thin not to hear them constantly fight over stupidest things in front of their little girls. When you saw the two of them ride their bikes and laugh, you always wondered, how they managed not to lose their innocence yet - with parents like theirs, who trapped themselves in a toxic marriage, the innocence of a child being saved was a miracle. 

The drama continued as the woman cried out harsher curses, accusing her husband of cheating. Is that the life that awaits everyone in a marriage? Is that the life you’re going to have too? That’s what your parents have; constant fights, verbal abuse, toxic apologies with flowers and luxury candy, and no words uttered. No resolution of those conflicts, no rethinking of the life choices they’d made to get to this point of no return. Nothing. And this family, a family so similar to yours, was the same. Only the girls were lucky to have each other and not to be alone. However, calling the kids ‘lucky’ for lulling each other when their parents scream all types of insults, calling the children they created with ‘so much love and affection’, as the mother posted on her stories, ‘mistakes’ when they were in another room - calling them ‘lucky’ was a direct insult. 

Accompanied by curses coming from a wall away from your living room, Gaeul was circling around you the whole time you were collecting your things. When you looked at the wrist watch, it was already ten minutes past the time you should have left the house. “Shit”, you mumbled, rapidly taking the bag in your hands and giving Gaeul a couple of more scratches, while she was meowing and standing in front of the door. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, sweetie”. 

You were supposed to be drinking as the four of you were going for some type of party one of Minho’s friends was throwing - so taking the car wasn’t an option; you didn’t know much about Changbin, but you were willing to get out of your shell and meet new people. “Maybe you’ll finally find a boyfriend there”, your mom told you over the phone, “you’ll be thirty soon - not really soon, though - and your father and I are waiting for grandkids. Your cousin is already a mother”. Ugh, yeah, whatever. Some nonsense that your mother confidently states is out of this world sometimes. 

Running up to a bus stop, you conveniently saw your bus pull up; jumping in it, you paid for the ticket and sat down on one of the many empty places, staring out of the window. As the music took you to another dimension, your thoughts flew by, pictures of your mother nagging you about the prospect of marriage, Chan putting his arm over Micha’s shoulder, Gyeom stuffing his mouth with a sandwich in one bite, Eunjoo and Minho holding hands ran in your mind with a uncontrollably rapid speed. You were thinking about Chan less each day, the images of him being replaced by your friends, new people you met and surprising revelations you made about this world and, first of all, yourself. 

Every bus ride that lasted more than twenty minutes - just like this one - got you hooked on rethinking and reflecting on every little thing that had ever happened to you. Sometimes it would be sappy, rainy autumn day like memories: Chan holding your hand while driving, bringing it to his lips to leave a small kiss on your knuckles every time the car stopped at the red light; you and him lying in bed, face to face, heart to heart, having those rare sincere conversations, filled with laughs and kisses. Whereas sometimes you’d lose yourself to cheerful moments, those July bright yellow afternoon days memories, with Yugyeom watching you chase after his golden retriever Dal; with you watching some happy kids fly kites while on a picnic with Eunjoo; with you writing your earliest stories in your old diary, sitting behind the desk in you sunlit childhood bedroom. The happiest that you were, in all of those memories you couldn’t even find the ghost of Chan; as if he had never existed in the most joyful moments of your life. As if - no, no ‘if’s’ - he had only brought you pain, and tears, and gut wrenching disgust towards your own self, towards the little girl, singing along the radio songs in her parents’ car, towards the fifteen year old girl, who wrote her stories on her old laptop and squealed after getting her first likes on the web, towards the woman you’d become. The woman who made stupid mistakes one after another, noticing but not seeing the pattern she had with every lover of hers, not seeing Chan being the same guy like the rest of them in her history. The woman you’d become, the woman you’re still thriving to be - she doesn’t deserve the slander you put her through. 

There might have been happiness during him - his jokes, warm hugs, car rides to his parents’ country house, him playing with Gaeul, his voice, his soft curls, his late love confessions. But there would certainly be more happiness after him, after this whole mess you yourself created. No acid rains burning your cheeks anymore, no scratching yourself so much you start bleeding anymore, no gray colors during the brightest sunny summer mornings. Is this what the phase of acceptance looks like? Is this where you stop blaming Chan for the pain he caused you? Nah, you’re not there yet. But close. Definitely close. 

Receiving another text in the group chat, your thoughts suddenly led you to the anxious search for your ID in the handbag of yours. “Shit, shit, shit”, you muttered under your breath, when you realized it was nowhere to be found. Did you lose it on your way to the bus stop? Or did you lose it here? Oh no. You rolled your eyes at the clear memory of seeing it on the kitchen counter before you rushed out of the apartment. How could you be so irresponsible? You’d never forgotten your ID, ever in your life, even taking it to the convenience store at 7AM to get a snack on your day off. And now, when you clearly needed it to get in the club, you’d left it at home? Super responsible, girl, just awesome. 

Having jumped off the bus at the nearest stop, you caught yourself feeling absolutely shameless about the fact of being late. After you moved almost to the outskirts of the city, not being on time has become your signature mark. Now you were texting your friends, explaining the whole situation, while getting in an Uber - just to shorten the forty minutes you’d already spent on the bus to twenty-five. And as the car started off, your friends couldn’t leave you alone. 

“Gyeom, I’m sorry”. The first words you said to him after picking up, annoyance recognizable in your voice. Yeah, you were the one being late, but Mr. Punctuality didn’t have to remind you about it as well. 

“I’m actually late too”, he let out a breathy chuckle. What? Kim Yugyeom coming late? 

“What happened?”

“Nothing”, he sighed, “I just spent too much time on the phone with my dad”. You hummed in response. “I can pick you up, by the way”, Yugyeom added. 

“You don’t have to”. 

“Ah, it’s not like I’m goin’ to be on time anyway”. The yippy notes in his voice made you reflect the smile he was probably wearing on his face. “So it’s not a problem, really”.

“Thanks, Gyeom”. 

“I’ll be at your place in, uh, around ten minutes”. As you ended the conversation, you heard the siren sounds in the distance. It wasn’t an unordinary occasion: the song of the sirens was playing almost an unstoppable tune every minute of the day, as the ambulances were rushing through the busy streets, or the firemen were driving to stop the fires. It was not unusual for a city like Seoul; however, the closer you were getting to your apartment complex, the more the clump of fear inside your chest grew. 

The first thing you saw when the car turned to your building was the blinding light of the fire truck. Then it was the group of firemen. After it was the crowd, surrounding the fire engine. The last thing was the smoke coming out of the apartment on the fifth floor. From the apartment right next to yours. 

Jumping off the car, you rushed through the crowd, forcibly pushing apart the nosy neighbors and bystanders, only to be stopped by a firefighter. You couldn’t think of anything else, of other people, of the party you were late to, of the things in your apartment - the only image in your head was of Gaeul. How scared she must be, how she’s probably sitting in the corner of your room, far away from the strange and dangerous smell. The clouded vision of yours, the tears in your eyes were invisible to you. The only thing you needed was to get your baby out of there. 

“Miss, you cannot go in there”, the voice of the firemen echoed in your ears. 

“My cat’s in there”, you mumbled, but he heard you, “I need to get her out. It’s an apartment right next to that that’s burning”. 

“We’ll get her out, no need to worry”. The calm notes in his voice had awoken some primal rage in you - how could he even say that? You couldn’t not worry, for fuck’s sake! 

You quickly disappeared in the crowd so that the firefighter wouldn't recognise you if something was about to happen. There was an emergency exit, but they were probably evacuating people through it, right? What should you do to get in? 

As the thoughts were rapidly running through your head, you saw smoke coming from another window. Your window now. Your heart sank; everything around started spinning slowly and you grabbed your chest in order to calm yourself down - at least, a little bit, at least, before you took Gaeul in your arms. 

Fuck it. You hastened your steps through the crowd, away from the main entrance, in hopes to get lost amidst those being evacuated, in hopes to get through the emergency exit without being caught. In the inner yard of your building your restless, teary eyes noticed one fireman guarding the entrance; and over there, on the bench was your neighbour from the fourth floor, a fourteen year old, holding her brown dog close to her heart. 

“Hello?” She picked up her phone, the shaky voice of hers bringing more blood to your already jolting heart. How smart it was to exchange numbers with her all those months ago.

“Could you distract that firefighter for me, please?” You uttered, while looking at her. She turned her head and found your eyes. “My cat’s still in there. I can’t… I can’t wait till they save her. Please”. The girl nodded and quickly rose up to her feet, probably coming up with an idea of taking the fireman’s attention. 

She ran up to the man, still holding the dog in her arms, and started rambling something loudly, the hysteric condition of hers being the direct result of this horrible evening. “What was she up to?” You thought to yourself as you moved from a tree to a tree as fast as you could. “Was she walking her dog when the fire started? Was she at home?” 

How convenient it was to have a bunch of trees to grow in the inner yard of the apartment building. “I should thank the managing lady after it”, you watched as the firefighter turned his back to the entrance - now. The adrenaline in your stomach felt like a fuel to the fire of anxiety and fear; as you leapt up the stairs, two, three steps missed, your heart was pumping somewhere in your throat, bringing the inevitable, horrible thoughts to your brain. You brushed them off before you reached your floor, running in the corridor, which was filled with smoke, with an empty head. The door to your apartment was being broken down as you ran up to it, right on time - maybe, the first time you were not late in the last couple of years. The firefighters weren’t pleased a resident was out in the dangerous area, but you quickly opened the door - having promised you’d let them in without getting inside yourself - breaking the recently made promise immediately when the lock was open, dropping the keys to the ground. If the building management had fixed the electronic locks on time, maybe the whole building wouldn’t have to use keys; maybe, the fire issue would have been resolved earlier, had the firemen had an easier access to the apartments. 

Gray. Choking color gray - that's what your apartment was. You could get suffocated in here just for breathing in the smoke, but was it even a priority? You would die but get Gaeul out of this place.

“Gaeul!” Your voice came out quaking, eyes getting watery with every step you took. “Gaeul, baby!” Almost flying into your bedroom, you noticed her scratching the window in hopeless attempts to get out. “Baby, you’re safe”, you whispered, swooping her in your arms. She let out a weak meow as you covered her chubby face with a palm of your hand. The firefighter was quick to escort you from the apartment, having thrown a blanket from the couch over your shoulders. You wrapped Gaeul in it when you got to the hall; she was meowing as you ran down the stairs, telling you how scared she was. “I know, honey, I know”, you kept on repeating, “you’re safe now”. 

The fresh air hit both of your faces abruptly, making you gasp and cough. Holding Gaeul as close to your heart as it was possible - perhaps, if you squeezed her tighter, she would be inserted in your heart directly - you sat down on the grass next to the girl with a dog sleeping on her lap. 

“Is she okay?” You nodded, leaving a kiss between Gaeul’s brown ears. She started purring, exuding that velvety purring of hers that signaled of her finally feeling safe. After finding her in a pouring rain, as her dirty little paws left marks on your white hoodie and her squeaky voice notified you she wasn’t pleased with being carried by some stranger, after washing her up and taking her to the vet, after making sure she felt comfortable in every corner of any of the places where you lived, after teaching her to use the litter box, after buying her the most expensive and delicious food she liked, after having her sleep in between your legs every night since the first one she spent with you, after building up your whole life around her when you needed someone to give your unconditional love to, after having no suicidal thoughts the moment she took a step in your apartment, after having her as the only living creature who loved you unlimitedly - how could you sit and wait till they save her? How could you leave her little figure in the hands of fate? 

“Mr. Choi set his apartment on fire”, the girl said while petting her dog. “That’s entirely his fault”. 

“Tell me about it”, you mumbled. 

“Why didn't the police do anything when they were called on them last week?” She questioned. “He literally threatened to burn the house down���. You shrugged your shoulders. No one really did anything when he threatened to jump off the window, no one took his threats seriously when he promised to burn the apartment if his wife got on his nerves again. Yeah, like it’s a reasonable excuse for a possible homicide. What a scumbag. 

“He ran away though”. She sighed. “But they’ll find him in no time, I guess. Mrs. Choi said he broke his wrist trying to hit her, so he won’t be far away”. You nodded absentmindedly, eyes still focused on Gaeul. She already seemed peaceful, only her yellowish eyes still being completely overtaken by the dilated pupils. She was lying on your legs, covered by that blanket. “Isn’t it your phone buzzing?”

Oh, that was the annoying feeling in the pocket of your jeans. “Hello”. You responded in a monotonous voice. 

“Where are you?” Yugyeom sounded panicked. “I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes! Are you okay? Where are you?” He repeated. After muttering a few words you hung up, putting the phone on the grass. The autumn nights started to get chilly; but you were willing to stay seated on the cold ground as long as it took for Gaeul to fully calm down. 

In mere seconds Yugyeom appeared in the inner yard, dashing to you. “Are you okay?” He observed you carefully, and then the gaze of his fell to Gaeul, curled up on your lap. “Are you okay, sweetling?”

“She ran into the building to save her cat”, your neighbor proudly proclaimed. Yugyeom gave a look - not the ‘Are you crazy?’ or ‘You’re insane’ one, but the look, striking as… Worry? Pain? Hurt? Love? 

“I think the two of you need some warming up”. His soft voice impinged upon your indifference to everything but Gaeul; it seemed as if the part of you that was scared started to heal as soon as he helped you get on your feet. For the first time in the last half an hour you shivered under the cool wind, and Yugyeom took his zipper hoodie off to put it on your shoulders. 

“You’re wearing a T-shirt”. You stated, looking at him. He gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I like the cold. I’m like Johnny Storm, y’know that”. You let out a breathy laugh - the first one after pulling up to the building. Your cat was already napping in your arms - the safest place for her, as it turned out - so you and Yugyeom slowly moved to his car. 

The windows of your neighbors had ruined the whole front of the building - now the gaze of any person would fall on black frames around them. “I wonder if my landlady is here”. You said, when getting on the passenger seat. 

“D’you want me to find her?”

“Gyeom, no”, you answered in a soft voice, ‘you’ve already done enough”. His brows knitted as he looked at you with utter confusion written all over his face. 

“I didn’t do anything except for panicking and calling Minho and Eunjoo”, he noted, “and not like it’s hard to help you. Especially now”. 

You gave in rather quickly. “Alright”. 

“Give me her number, so I-”

“Just take my phone”, you shoved the device in his hands, “she doesn’t pick up if she doesn’t know the number”. He nodded before getting out of the car. 

And as you were petting your sleepy cat, you felt the tears being finally let go from your eyes. Gaeul woke up when the salty drops fell on her side and, after staring at you for a couple seconds, started to licking herself up. You laughed through the choking tears and caressed her head and back, thinking how much your life had changed since the moment she magically appeared in it. It became… Brighter, funnier, sweeter. Even when she would wake you up at three AM ‘cause she was hungry; or when she would try to eat the yarn whenever you crocheted; or when she would sit on the kitchen counter while you were cooking. The thought of losing her made your heart hurt even more than it already was. 

“We’ll be fine, right, baby?” You murmured when she started snoring quietly; you turned your head to look out of the window and noticed Gyeom in the distance, still talking with someone over the phone. A strange feeling of being absolutely safe around him had arisen in your chest the moment you saw his worried face tonight; maybe you shouldn’t push him away too hard - he’s one of the few people you can trust, after all. 

Gyeom was right; he cannot certainly save you like he used to when you were kids. You can come up with a rescue plan yourself, like today, when you couldn’t wait for anyone else to save the most loved part of you. Anyone but you. Gyeom cannot save you; but he can give you  the sense of comfort after you help yourself get back to life. 

“Gaeul”, you muttered, “how long it’s been since we called him ‘Gyeom’?” A short version of his name, and he hated being called that. But when it came to you, his first love? He blushed whenever you said ‘Gyeom’. And why did you start calling him that again? Maybe that’s a sign, you thought to yourself, leaning your head back, maybe I do need him around.

“So you mean to tell me”, Jisung was talking with his mouth full, “that you and Micha are not together? What’s the point of bringing her here then?”

Chan let out a deep sigh. It was only a matter of time when Han found out. “We are together. But we just don’t like labeling it as a ‘relationship’ Just give us some more time”. 

“ Are you kiddin’ me? It’s been two weeks, Chan!” He gnashed his teeth. “Every media outlet is calling me to confirm whether the two of you are together. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“That it’s none of their business”. 

“It doesn't work anymore. Is she your girlfriend or not?”

“She is, technically”, Chris leaned in his chair, “we’re in an open relationship”. Jisung set his palms down flat on the table, the heavy breathing of his sending shivers down Chan’s spine. He loved riling his friend up, but sometimes he seemed to forget Han was also his manager. A scary one at times. 

“I swear to God”, Jisung hissed, “I’m gonna kill you and replace you with another dude. No one will see a difference”. Chris chuckled and went back to his dinner, leaving Han’s question unanswered. 

Him and Micha had a lot of history; but when he showed up at her door, drunk to the bone, she was more than shocked. He kept on complaining, crying about you, cursing you, proclaiming his love for you. Micha was impressed only by him being that emotional - nothing like that ever happened when they were together. A couple of days later one thing led to another and… Some time after that she was already packing her bags to go to Melbourne with him. Was it a smart, calculated decision? Absolutely not. But Chan, for whatever reason, promised to support her financially before she’d find a job there; alright, to be honest? He wanted to hurt you. To hurt you the same way your reconciliation with Yugyeom made him feel. Chan wanted to see you suffer as much as he did, to see you try to beg for him to come back to you. Spoiler alert: you never did. 

Except for the airport incident. He almost caught the slightest glimpse of you, almost canceled his entire flight, almost called off all the business he had in Australia. If only he could delve into your features one more time, he would’ve put everyone aside. ‘Cause if you were there and he saw you, he wouldn’t need anything else. But he didn’t see you, so it was all settled as it was supposed to be. 

Han was grumbling something under his breath while Chan was scrolling down the latest news; some of his friends had a comeback coming up, the other was starring in a new drama, the third proposed to his girlfriend… Everyone seemed to have their life put together but him. When he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Micha’s head resting on his arm, Chan would only think about a life he gave away. He could’ve been lying in his bed now, with his head snuggled into your neck, inhaling that sweet scent of yours right into his system. He could’ve been waking up to your leg lapped across his. He could’ve been with the woman he’s in love with, not the one he pretends to love. Micha doesn’t deserve this; but something tells him that she knows - just pretends not to notice. 

‘Hey, doesn’t this house seem familiar to you?” Han shoved his phone right into Chan’s face; when his eyes could finally focus, he recognised the building immediately. “They report it’s been a fire, they’re still locating it”, Jisung continued, “and the guy who started it wanted to kill his family. What a piece of shit”. 

The only thing Chan could see was smoke coming out from the apartment scarily close to yours. He was unable to forget the window of yours, the window he would always look up to just to see your smiley face. “Can I borrow your phone?”

Jisung swallowed his food, looking confused. “What for?”

“I need to call her”. Han rolled his eyes but obliged, lending the phone to his friend. Chan practically jumped from his seat, running from the second floor of the restaurant they were in to the street. Chan was aware of you blocking him everywhere; so he hoped you’d pick up if Han called. What was that logic? Why would you even pick up?

If the fire was still being located, how big is it? Were you home when it started? Were you not? Is Gaeul okay? 

Long beeps only fueled his anxiety. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Please. 

“Hello?” The voice on the other side of the phone wasn’t the silky one Chan was hoping to hear. 

Chan asked for your name. Was it a cop? A firefighter? A doctor? “She’s okay, she wasn’t home when the fire broke out”.

“Who am I talkin’ to?”

“Kim Yugyeom. I’m a friend. You?”

Another tingling in his chest, every little blood cell of his running to his head, fueling his rage and pain, mixing them altogether. So, Yugyeom is there? After all of your claims he meant nothing to you? 

“Hello?” Yugyeom asked once again. “Say your name at least, so that she’d know whom to call back”.

��Don’t you see the name on the screen?” Chan’s words came out harsher than he planned. “Sorry, whatever. Don’t tell her anything”. Chris hung up the phone and let out an exasperated sigh. Rubbing his face with his hands, Chan couldn’t even comprehend what he was feeling. Why was the mere thought of you and Yugyeom in the same space bringing him the worst pain of it all? It was jealousy. It was all the love he couldn’t properly give you resulting in that horrendous feeling of envy. The feeling that Yugyeom might give this love to you. The love that you deserve. 

How long will he continue pining over you? Maybe he should just start paying more attention to his actual girlfriend rather than the dream woman of his?

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In the spotlight

yugyeom x female dancer!reader

WARNINGS: Smut so minors DO NOT INTERACT: P in v (wrap it up!), getting caught, secret relationship, public teasing, edging

Wc: 1.1k

A/N: I came out of my GRAVE for this one. I'm not gonna lie i stopped being a kpop fan ever since got7 left jyp but now that they are back, it only felt right for me to come back aswell (for a moment at least) so uhm enjoy whatever this is. Idk if yall saw that one video of him with that dancer but it's based of that

The dim lights cast a glow across the stage as the bass of the music reverberated through the crowd. Yugyeom's presence commanded every eye, his movements fluid yet powerful. But none of them knew the truth behind the passion in his steps or the fire in his eyes. Only you did.

You were his partner tonight, both on the stage and in the shadows. The world thought your chemistry was born of professionalism, two artists feeding off the energy of a shared performance. But beneath the surface, every glance, every touch, every moment was loaded with a truth only the two of you shared.

Then the moment came. The choreography demanded intimacy, but your connection turned it into something electric. His hands found your waist, gripping just tightly enough to send a shiver down your spine, a silent reminder of how well he knew your body. You arched into him, the heat between you igniting as the rhythm dictated your movements.

His lips were so close to your ear that you could feel the warmth of his breath, and though his expression remained composed for the crowd, you saw the flicker of desire in his dark eyes as they met yours. “Focus,” he murmured, voice low enough for only you to hear.

A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. It wasn’t like you could focus on anything but him.

The routine continued, every spin, dip, and step pulling you closer to the edge of losing control. When the lights dimmed for the next transition, his hand lingered on your hip just a fraction too long. The crowd wouldn't notice, but you did.

As the performance ended, the cheers were deafening. The two of you walked off stage, still playing the roles of colleagues and co-performers. But as soon as the dressing room door clicked shut, Yugyeom spun you around, pressing you against the wall with the same intensity he showed on stage.

“You’re driving me crazy,” he breathed, his forehead resting against yours. His hands, warm and familiar, settled on your waist again.

“And you’re the one pushing the limits,” you whispered back, teasing him as you traced the edge of his jaw with your fingertips.

The tension was heavy between you. His resolve snapped, and his lips crashed onto yours in a kiss that was desperate, heated, and all-consuming. You melted into him, your hands tangling in his hair as his body pressed tightly against yours.

A muffled groan escaped him as his hips shifted against you, and you felt him harden against your stomach. The sound sent a jolt through you, your own desire rising as his hands gripped you tighter.

His lips parted, and you swallowed his moan as the kiss deepened. Every feeling, every stolen glance, and every unspoken word came pouring out in that moment, leaving you both breathless.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours once more, his breathing ragged. “We’re supposed to be careful,” he murmured, his voice rough but laced with longing.

You smiled, brushing your lips lightly against his again. “Careful is boring.”

Yugyeom’s dark eyes bore into yours, his gaze filled with something primal, something that made your knees weak. He glanced toward the door one last time, ensuring no one was around before his hands slid down to the waistband of his pants.

“Yugyeom…” you whispered, your voice a mix of excitement and nervousness.

He leaned in, brushing his lips along the shell of your ear. “Be quiet for me, baby,” he murmured, his voice low and smooth, sending a delicious shiver down your spine.

Before you could respond, he spun you around, pressing your front gently but firmly against the wall. His hands roamed over your waist, pulling your body closer to his as he pressed a trail of soft, lingering kisses along the curve of your neck. Each touch, each kiss, ignited a fire deep within you, the thrill of being so exposed adding to the intensity.

He unbuttoned his pants, the sound of the zipper cutting through the quiet room. You felt his hands slide to your hips, tugging at the waistband of your pants and pulling them down just enough. The cool air hit your skin, heightening every sensation as his hands steadied you.

His lips found the sensitive spot behind your ear, his breath warm and intoxicating. “You’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice rough with desire sending a spark trough your whole body.

You bit your lip to stifle a moan as he inserted himself in you, his movements slow and deliberate, savoring every moment. His hands held you firmly, his touch both grounding and electrifying as he pulled you further onto him. “You feel so good,” he groaned softly, his lips brushing against your ear.

The intimacy of the moment consumed you both, your breaths mingling, your bodies moving together in perfect rhythm.

But just as the tension reached its peak, a loud knock at the door shattered the spell.

“Yugyeom! You in there?”

It was Bambam.

Panic flashed across Yugyeom’s face as he quickly stepped back, his hands fumbling to fix his pants. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, his movements hurried but quiet.

You scrambled to pull up your pants, your cheeks flushed and heart racing as the door creaked open before Yugyeom could say a word.

Bambam strolled in, his usual mischievous grin on his face. He stopped mid-step, his eyes flickering between the two of you. Yugyeom’s flushed face and your disheveled appearance were impossible to miss.

For a moment, there was silence. Then Bambam’s grin widened, and he let out a loud, amused laugh.

“Oh my God,” he said, doubling over as his laughter filled the room. “Are you serious? Here?”

Yugyeom glared at him, his face red with both embarrassment and frustration. “Could you not knock and wait for me to answer?” he snapped, his voice sharp but still carrying an edge of mortification.

Bambam smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned casually against the doorframe. “If I knew I was interrupting this, I would’ve waited. But honestly, this is gold.”

You buried your face in your hands, torn between wanting to disappear and wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Yugyeom stepped in front of you protectively, his glare unwavering. “Get out, Bambam.”

Still chuckling, Bambam held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I’m leaving. But seriously, next time, maybe lock the door or something.”

With that, he turned and sauntered out, leaving the door slightly ajar as his laughter echoed down the hallway.

Yugyeom sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair before turning to you. “I’m going to kill him,” he muttered, though the corners of his lips twitched as if he was fighting back a smile.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension broken as you leaned into him. “That was… something.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “Next time, we’re locking the door.”

[hannieween]

pushing and pulling | joshua hong

› pairings: joshua hong x female reader › genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) › aus: nba player joshua, playboy joshua, love affair › word count: 8k

› 🎧: take you down – yugyeom | do me right – gemini | pushin' n pullin' – red velvet | middle of the night – monsta x | 100 ways – jackson wang | dumb – i.m | guilty – taemin

this post is connected a nba joshua playboy request (you can find it in my page on the reqs tag)

› nsfw tags under the cut

› warnings: slight hurt/comfort, toxic vibes, reader is married, body worshipping, oral sex, pussy drunk shua, soft-dom joshua, oblivious pining, love making, unprotected p in v sex, lotus position, a bit of cockwarming, creampie, reader is on the pill, joshua is kind of a jerk but sweet in some way, pet names: baby (hers)

› big big thank you to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who beta read this for me and helped me edit and with the more tricky aspects of joshua pouring his heart out to you ( > 〰 < )♡

› also thanks to @glowunderthemoon who brainstormed with me and recommended 100 ways by jackson for this chapter. i wanna kiss your genius brain

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

pushing and pulling

The elliptical beeped softly as Joshua forced it to a stop. He kept his breathing steady, but he couldn't ignore the impulsive need to wipe the sweat off his face.

He looked closely at his progress. Feeling content, he climbed down, wiped the machine and walked away to finally commence his general training.

The gym was particularly deserted. As expected from a Friday afternoon. Joshua had just finished warming up and moved to do some bench presses. It was his usual Friday routine, except he mostly went during the mornings.

But last night he couldn't sleep. And he didn't have any plans for the rest of the night, so, the gym it is.

He kept the music in his earphones at a high volume to drown out the music blasting from the gym's fancy sound system and the lonely goers who were working on the other weight machines.

Why do they have to let the weights drop that loud? So noisy.

He kept pushing the bar up and then slowly pressed it back down with a controlled motion, letting strained exhales escape his mouth. It was one of his favorite exercises to do. He was lying back on the bench, and staring at the ceiling, listening to music—he could reflect like this.

Until he sat back up on the bench, having finished his rep, and stood up to look for something to clean up the bench after him. That was when he caught sight of you, in the far distance of the gym. You were using a treadmill, looking straight at your reflection in the mirror up front.

Maybe you just got to the gym, he thought from the look of you. Your well-kept hair was braided, there was no sweat on your face from what he could see and well, he hadn't seen you until now.

Joshua kept doing his exercises as normal. But he couldn't shake off the tight knot that had parked in his stomach since he saw you there.

In fact, every time you crossed his mind he felt that way. And he thought of you constantly. He replayed over and over in his head the memory of the events that led you to the first time you kissed him.

It had been a rushed, heated kiss—but everything that happened before it took its time. At every chance, when you crossed paths, you'd sent him glances that,  at first, obfuscated him a little.

Until one night, at a private event. After many suggestive looks exchanged between Joshua and you, in a perfect moment, your husband was out of the way and you got Joshua to follow you down a fire exit. One thing led to the other.

He didn't know you went to the same gym as him—though it could be something he expected since everyone on his team used it. It was quite the exclusive place.

He kept checking on you every now and then. It seemed that you were just running because half an hour passed and you hadn’t left your spot.

That's how he slowly gathered the little details about you, the bags under your eyes, the sad look on the features of your face.

So he kept to his regular training—working his lats, his triceps, biceps and then finishing with abs. Push and pull kinda day. It was supposed to be only pull but well, what gives.

Joshua moved from the last machine, cleaned it off, threw the towel away and walked towards the locker-rooms. Thinking of getting a shower, grabbing his stuff and heading home. Maybe drink a beer and hopefully, sleep.

"What are you doing here?"

Joshua removed his earphones. You had cornered him almost as if you had planned it, and possibly did. He looked over his shoulder as a precaution, the hall was empty.

"What are you doing here?" you repeated, your tone anxious and shifty eyes roaming all over him.

"Baking a cake," he responded nonchalantly.

"Tsk, fine," you scoffed and looked the other way.

Joshua paused and took consideration over what he saw in you, the stale, emotionless about you. Unusual. The features of your face looked torn, instead of the usual kindness he usually saw in them. He confirmed his suspicions that you weren’t sleeping well either when he saw the darkness under your eyes, and the paleness that stole the color from your lips. 

Even with that dead look in your eye, Joshua was convinced that you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Although all you and Joshua ever did was throw snarky comments at each other, sometimes while fucking, even then, he always thought you were sweet and cute. 

"How about we start over?"

"What?"

"Hi?" Joshua joked. "How are you? No?"

"Josh," you sighed and took a hand to your forehead, where your fingers rubbed your frown tiredly. "Sorry, you know what, you're right. I'm being a little on edge."

Joshua couldn't blame you for that. In fact, he felt like he might be the only person in the world that would understand what you're going through.

He leaned in, his doe eyes reading you carefully. "Do you need to talk?" he asked, his voice devoid of all snarkiness. It was his usual tone, honeyed.

You raised your eyes at him, glinting in such a way that it only made the knot in his stomach twist harder. "Yeah, I–," you choked up. "I... uh..."

"Did you come here by car?" he promptly asked and he saw the spark in your eyes change. Excitement, fear, as if the answers you desired so greatly were all found in him, in that question.

"I walked," you frowned softly. "Why?"

Joshua dug on the inside of his sweats and pulled out the key to his car. "Black Audi A8," he instructed: "Wait for me inside. I'll take no more than 10 minutes."

You pocketed the key in your gym bag quickly. "What are you going to do?"

"Take a shower," he said and started to turn to walk down the hall. "See you there."

Joshua closed the door of his car, settling on the seat.

You handed him the key to his car. "Hi," you mumbled shamefully.

"That's better," he joked, taking the key and thrusting it into the ignition. He drove away from the underground parking lot. As soon as he was within the vicinity of his place and the silence had turned somewhat unpleasant, he sent you a glance. "It's been a while."

You had been keeping your head turned to the side. But you nodded, and you met his brief gaze. "Yeah I've... been busy."

Joshua kept his comments to himself from that point. His mind had started reeling instead. He parked on his spot and as soon as he turned the engine off, he opened the glove compartment, pulling out a cap.

"Here," he offered you the cap.

"Are you serious?" you asked, sending him a bewildered look.

"Listen, I'm not risking someone seeing you here with me and start asking questions," he emphasized those words, knowing what value they had to them.

Because he was the nation's favorite playboy. The one who’s got the eyes and heart of the media. The heartthrob. Ever since his career skyrocketed, this fame, this persona, it had been following him close by like a shadow.

Though all a lie, it seemingly had fooled you too.

"Fine," you said, taking the cap, which was his team's merch, putting it on with a huff. Then you mumbled with dry sarcasm: "How do I look?"

"Pretty, as always," he smirked and pushed the door to get out of his car.

You followed him inside the elevator, down a hall and into his apartment.

"I would've assumed we'd reach the penthouse," you quipped as soon as you were inside.

Joshua turned the first lamp in the corner of the living room. The curtains were drawn wide open, letting in the view of the skylight. He snickered as an attempt to deflect from the constant judgment of his character.

"Why is that?" he asked with a low tone and motioned you over with one of his large hands.

"I dunno," you mumbled and walked over to the fancy large couch. "May I?"

"Of course," he replied and went over to the open kitchen to open the cabinet, grabbing two short glasses. "Drink?"

"Sure, uh," you breathed out shakily. "I only assumed that you'd be like the rest of 'em, you know. Showy, living on the top of the highest building, throwing out money wherever you go."

"Pff," he scoffed, throwing some cubes of ice into each glass. "You've known me long enough to know that's not my style."

That comment seemed to rattle you a bit. You stilled in your seat and when Joshua offered you the glass of whisky, you stared at the ice cubes for a moment.

Joshua was your husband's best friend. You have been part of each other's lives for long enough to know that his lavish lifestyle was nothing compared to the one of your husband's.

But Joshua is nothing like your husband.

Jake, your husband, is the one that the media loves. He is the golden boy, team captain, the one with the most deals, money and fame. The guy who gets all the recognition for being such a good husband.

"Jake is cheating on me," you breathed, letting those words out for the first time since you found out. They hit you like a punch in the gut, and your eyes instantly brimmed with tears of shame, guilt and regret.

Joshua was still standing between the couch and the coffee table, right in front of you. So he sat down by your side, leaving his drink beside yours, not quite looking in your eye as he sighed.

"I know."

Of all the reactions you were expecting, all the scenarios you ran in your mind, you never thought that he would say that.

Because he was your secret.

"How long have you known?" you demanded with a strangled tone.

He turned his head to look at you now, your gazes met and he decided to take a large gulp of his whisky before replying: "Ever since he slept with the first girl."

"Then you've known for..."

"Does it matter?"

Your eyes stopped shifting from side to side, the frantic train of thoughts slowed down. "Yes," you said slowly. "How come you've never told me?"

"I was going to but," he exhaled softly. "You sought me out before I could."

"So you were fine with us fucking and never acknowledging it?" you were quick to put two and two but then, "Why?"

"I thought that was what you needed."

"Joshua..." you whispered. "Why? Are you okay with–, why would you never say something about it?"

"I'm okay with whatever you want me to be," he muttered, looking straight into your eyes now. "I knew you needed me, you didn't need to tell me why. I knew."

"So all this time, when you've taunted me about it, to tell him... was it all just for fun? To get yourself off, to make yourself feel better–"

"To play my part," he sighed and went for another gulp of whisky and when you didn't say anything, he elaborated: "Famous playboy. Isn't that the reason why you went to me?"

You looked away in shame. "You're also his best friend. I figured the more excitement you'd get the less I would have to explain," It was your turn to drink from your glass, which you did so slowly.

"Was."

Your stomach dropped. Something in you had worked that out already, but you needed to hear the confirmation from him.

"What?"

Joshua took the glass between his lips, pouring the gold liquid down his throat. "Soon as he started boasting about it. I went low contact," he paused, the glass still lingering in front of his mouth before adding with a hint of disdain: "The dumbass hasn't even realized that I don't want to talk to him."

He looked at you with caution, expecting to see you crying, showing some emotion. Instead, you were mindlessly staring at the ice cubes sitting at the bottom of the now empty whisky glass.

"How did you find out, anyway?" he risked asking, trying to keep your attention still. He felt like you slipping away in your thoughts was dangerous.

"He stopped paying attention to me completely, he even recoils from my touch," you mumbled and your lip quivered a little. "So I started suspecting."

A silence followed and as the seconds went on, Joshua started getting anxious.

You licked your lips, raising your eyes and finding his. "He keeps things from the girls he sleeps with inside a box," you rasped out dryly. "Lingerie, earrings, hair ties... I'm also sure he's taken them to the house."

"Jesus," he hissed, downing the rest of the liquid to discard the glass on the coffee table and rubbing his hands on his face, trying not to succumb to the overwhelming rage he was feeling. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not sure if he either wanted me to find it or he's too stupid to actually keep it well hidden," you sighed. "It's driving me crazy these days."

"Do you have a plan? Do you know what you'll do?" he asked, trying with all his might to derive his attention back to you.

"I have nothing," you whispered.

"Does he know you went out tonight?"

"Jake's not in town. He flew out to visit his family and friends," you rolled your eyes and scoffed.

Joshua didn't need proof to know that was a blatant lie. And it seemed that you knew it too.

You finally set back the empty glass on the coffee table and let out a tired sigh.

"Can I ask you something?" you muttered with a tiny voice.

Joshua knew what was coming. So he relaxed on the back of the couch, shifting one leg over the seat to sit facing your body. He even propped an elbow on the headrest of the couch to lean his head on his fist. 

"Shoot," he mumbled.

"Why are you doing this?" you glanced at him shyly. "You said that you no longer speak to Jake, but you pressure me to tell him either way. Are you–," you choked up again, but now due to your nervousness you started blurting: "Why do this, why agree to have an affair with me?"

"At the beginning, I felt sorry for you," he said reluctantly, feeling ashamed of himself as he looked away briefly. "You looked lonely. And I knew why. So."

"That still doesn't answer my question," you whispered, trying to read his doe eyes under the soft glow of the lamps.

He leaned his head on one side, reading the expression on your face. Your features had relaxed, no longer containing the anxiousness from before.

"Is it not obvious?" he asked back and felt his own heart race slightly, he paused and decided to say: "I'm also lonely."

You made no inquiry about the alleged rumors, everything that the media says about the women who keep coming and going in his life. But he hoped that you would catch onto slowly that it was all an act created by the media to attract people in. And he was their puppet.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he returned, blinking slowly at you, unable to look at anything else but your face.

"Shoot," you echoed with a shadow of a smile.

"Do you still love him?"

You held your breath and avoided his gaze again. "No," you blurted out, guilt washing over you. "I haven't for a while. Thought that much was evident, though."

"I needed to know," he replied, feeling a light rush of ecstasy run through him upon hearing your answer.

You smiled, but there was no happiness to that smile. It was sad, and had bitterness written all over it. Joshua had to understand then that you lost a good chunk of your life when your husband decided to sleep around recklessly.

But besides the empathy he felt for you, he was livid. He wasn't a man to endorse violence, but he couldn't deny the fact that he has had to contain himself several times before when your husband was boasting about his affairs.

"Hey," Joshua whispered, running the back of his index finger on your cheek. "I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am."

Your brow furrowed a little and your eyes widened, making you look a little lost. "Thank you, Joshua. I'm sorry this probably wasn't the way you wanted your Friday night to go."

"I had no plans for tonight," he explained, blinking slowly at you, an endearing look in his eyes.

"What would a regular night look like for you anyway?" you asked, leaning back on the couch, looking at him with curiosity.

"You're looking at it," he shrugged with ease and nodded. "Minus you being here, of course."

"Be serious," you scoffed at him.

"I am," he rolled his eyes with feigned annoyance. Joshua only kept his playboy image by flirting around. every once in a while, he would take a pretty model or actress to dinner.

You seemed to ponder for a second, without tearing your eyes from his face. "Well, you not being what the world says about you is definitely something I didn't expect," you confessed.

It was Joshua's turn to smile bitterly. "Yeah, who would've thought that the real playboy was the team captain, right?"

Your husband was the team captain. You immediately flinched a little with the realization that your husband's whole public image of being the perfect man was tainted not only by himself.

"Too soon?" Joshua mumbled shamefully.

"No, it's okay," you replied and cleared your throat.

But Joshua could see the gears in your brain turning. He couldn't blame you, he knew the feeling too well. It robbed him of sleep and held his peace of mind hostage every day.

"I'm sorry for pulling you into all of this," you told him. Your eyes were sincere, dimming with some regret just before you looked away.

"Don't be," he muttered softly, putting a hand on your knee to bring you some comfort. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't want any of it."

The features of your face relaxed at that and you met his eyes again. Your pretty hand slid on top of his in a gesture of gratitude. Then a thought crossed your mind—it seemed a little crazy that in all of this mess, you'd find a friend.

Even if the lines of that friendship had become blurry.

Joshua turned the palm of his hand over, so he was properly holding your hand now. You gave him a gentle squeeze, a warm feeling flooding in your chest and that made you sigh.

Then without thinking too much, he took the cap off your head, pushing some hairs off your face with his free hand. You didn't care how tender his touch felt, you welcomed it.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked with a low honeyed voice.

You shook your head silently, your hand was still in his so you just took the liberty to play with his pretty fingers, lacing them with yours.

"No one is waiting for me there," you muttered with a tiny voice and Joshua felt your words punch him in the chest. He felt overwhelmed by the urge to make you feel better, to take the pain from you.

So he just let it overpower him.

His hand came up to cradle your cheek, driving your gaze back to his again. What he wasn't expecting was you leaning your face against his touch, your free hand sliding on top of his and you closing your eyes.

He ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek, feeling your soft skin, then trailed to your lips, caressing them carefully until you opened your eyes again to find his.

You pressed your lips on the pad of his thumb. It wasn't a suggestive kiss, there was nothing in your eyes that meant that fiery need to which you had pulled him out the fire exit that first night he kissed you.

It was an affectionate kiss. But it only made him want more. He craved the softness, the tenderness, he needed you wholly.

So he took his shot, leaning in to rest his forehead on top of yours, the tip of his nose pushing against yours gently and he heard your breath hitch with a tiny moan as your lips brushed against his. He waited like this, waited for you to protest against this, to push him away.

But you gave in not a second later, pressing your soft lips against his own in a slow, tender kiss. You sobbed out some nervousness when you broke away, only to dive right in again with a deeper kiss, wet lips locking slowly, as if meeting each other again.

Joshua released your hand that was previously laced with his, using it to find your waist and pulled softly, motioning you closer. You understood what he meant without him having to break the kiss to say it.

So you sloppily moved your knees on the couch to sit on his lap, straddling him. Your hands cupped his face, now demanding a hungrier kiss from him, which he responded willingly with a low grunt that coiled in his throat.

The kiss suddenly came to a stop with a smacking sound. Heavy breathing filled his ears before he opened his eyes to see the light frown on your face, your eyes desperately reading his features.

"What are we doing, Joshua?" you asked. Your voice sounded shaky and breathless.

"Going with it," he replied, heart pounding against his chest.

"But, after this. Where are we going with all of this?" you demanded and he knew you needed to get ahead of this. You were hurt and probably weren't looking to be hurt again.

Joshua squeezed your arm gently. "Wherever you want it to," he replied sincerely, his doe eyes looking up at you.

"Josh," a question formed on your lips, but then you leaned in to meet his lips with your own.

"Mm?" he responded, the soft lines between his eyebrows seemed to mark a little.

"Just..." you shook your head slightly and swallowed hard, thinking of the warmth in his hands parked in the small of your back.

Joshua understood the restlessness, the danger that you were putting yourself in by being with him like this. He felt it too. But he also knew that you thought about him everyday, all the time. Just like he thought about you.

He blinked slowly at you, with a warmth and homeliness that swept through him. "What do you want?" he asked.

You paused, seemingly absorbed by the question for a second. It was the first time in a long time that someone asked you that—it had been a while since you took into consideration what you wanted, too.

When you started this, you thought that having an affair with Joshua was a form of revenge. To get back at your husband for betraying you. But it slowly became something you couldn't stop, you became greedy about it.

Now, you weren't sure if greed was the only thing that you felt.

"I want you," you whispered, feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body upon confessing it. "I don't care how. I just know that I do. I think about you every day and it's driving me crazy."

Joshua's heart pounded frantically against his chest, his eyes reading your face, trying to gather every detail in your features. He knew it already, but hearing you say it sent him into a frenzy. Nothing else mattered anymore.

His hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, lips sealing yours with a passion he didn't know he had inside him. He blindly searched for the scrunchie that secured your braid and pulled it, freeing your hair with a groan.

You shuddered when his fingers sank in your hair, grazing your scalp, holding a fistful to keep you in place as he kissed you hungrily, his plump lips exploring yours.

It was the first time he kissed you like this, without the haste or the snark. There was no fear of getting caught, no need to rush anything. 

"Stay the night with me," Joshua whispered into your lips, feeling his breath catch under a surge of emotions.

"Okay," you whispered back without hesitation.

"Please," he added.

"I'll stay the night," you reassured him.

"Okay," he settled, pulling you into his arms, wrapping you as he kissed your lips hungrily, a soft moan spilling into your mouth when your hands cupped the back of his head.

Joshua felt torn between the need to do things slowly, he hadn't had the chance before to have you like this. Every time he's had the opportunity to kiss you or to have sex with you it's been in lonely corridors.

He didn't want to think about whether he would ever have you here like this again. He didn't want to think of the future and that made him irrational, careless.

Blindly searching for the hem of your clothes, he broke the kiss only to start undressing you. You raised your arms when he got rid of your hoodie you didn't see where it was thrown, Joshua was on your lips again, kissing you with urgency.

"Joshua," you muffled in his mouth. "Let's go to your room."

He nodded and wordlessly motioned you to stand up from his lap, fumbling for your hand to lead you down a dimly lit hall and pushed a door open, turning on the lights to the bedroom.

The room seemed dark upon first glance, the gray bedding contrasting only with the white pillows and the dim lighting of the overhead lamps. To your surprise, the scent of cinnamon hung in the air like a vague memory. As if a candle had been lit moments before he left the apartment to work out at the gym.

Joshua tugged at your arm, pulling you to his body so that he could wrap his arms around your body, leaning his head down to capture your lips with his own with a clumsy kiss as he walked you backwards until the back of your knees touched the edge of his bed.

"Sit down," he instructed softly. "Let me take care of you, yeah?"

Your breath hitched slightly, as your body began to heat up as soon as you sat down on his bed.

In one motion he pulled off his sweatshirt, exposing his bare torso. He had minor bruises and scratches on his sides and chest, but you knew it was normal, either from training or from how easily his skin bruised. Or both. While some looked old and faint, other bruises looked black and blue.

With little care for taking his time, he removed your clothes, he wanted you bare as soon as he could so he could finally see you. All the times he has been with you like this, all the times he's had sex with you have been fully clothed.

So when you laid in his bed, wholly naked below him, he sighed out his delight over you. He pressed a knee on the edge of the mattress, placing his hands at each side of your head to lean over your body.

He hummed as he pressed kisses in your lips, once, twice. "You're so beautiful," he muttered in between as his lips moved in yours seamlessly, melting into a more demanding and passionate kiss. 

Your eyes sparked with some amazement when he pulled back. He wondered if your husband ever said that to you, because you looked befuddled for a second.

"Yeah, you are," he muttered, a small smile crowning his pretty lips. "The prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"Josh," you chuckled warmly. "Don't go all sweet on me now."

"What, you thought I couldn't be anything but horrible to you?" he teased, kissing the apple of your cheek.

"I like the way you are," you confessed when his lips trailed down to the underside of your jaw, making you whimper a little when he placed an open kiss at the base of your throat.

"Yeah?" he muttered, ignoring the feeling shaking his heart. "Why?"

"Y-you're softer than you let on," you stammered, fingers trembling as you grazed his scalp to grab his hair. "You are kind and fun to be around. You're nothing like the world says about you."

"Mmn now who's going sweet on me," he teased, reaching down to kiss your tits, littering kisses all over, not trying to be sensual or to arouse you. He was simply exploring your body with his lips.

But it was quite obvious that you would become aroused. Your body responded by tensing up under his, your fingers clenching into fists, one gripping the bed covers, the other in his hair.

"Josh," you whimpered, when his tongue lapped around one of your nipples, now teasing it with the tip of his tongue, tasting your skin with a delightful groan.

While he did the same to your other nipple, his hand cupped your breast fully, his fingers gently digging into your soft skin, licking your nipple, his tongue swirling around it. His lips wrapped around your hardened nipple and suckled at it slightly.

"Fuck," you breathed, your thighs clenching when a sharp arousing feeling shot through your body.

Joshua hummed softly, detaching his mouth from your nipple with a soft smacking sound and moved to plant a soft kiss on your lower lip. "Will you let me eat you out, baby?" he lifted a hand from the mattress to pinch your chin. "Mn?"

A hot wave sizzled beneath your skin in anticipation. "Yeah," you choked nervously. "Please do."

He smiled before diving in for another chaste kiss and climbed down the bed. His hands came up to grab your thighs from the underside of your knee and pulled your body down so your butt was aligned to the edge of the bed.

Joshua got down on his knees and you propped yourself on your elbows on the mattress to follow his movements, his hands motioning your legs to rest on his shoulders, holding your thighs to help you do so.

"You have the prettiest pussy," he sighed before pressing his lips on your pussy lips, right before lapping his tongue on your folds with a broad stroke, his hands gripping your thighs decisively. 

You let your head hang back with a low cry of pleasure, sneaking one hand to grab at his hair again, holding for dear life. His tongue explored your cunt fully, not neglecting a single inch of skin, of your folds, drinking in your arousal. 

Joshua darted a look at you. Your head was thrown back and your chest was heaving slightly, only to suck in a breath as his tongue slowly made its way up from your entrance to your clit.

"Oh, god," you gasped when he started pushing his tongue against your clit gently, teasing it first to get it to swell. The sizzling sensation beneath your skin only intensified, making you moan through clenched teeth.

A hand climbed up from your thigh and parked on your lower tummy, palm pressing back on your skin just as his tongue swirled around your clit in swift figure eight motions, unrelenting in their pace, perfectly drawing you closer to the edge.

You eased back on the mattress, biting your lip to focus on the flicking of his tongue on your clit, the way it made the muscles of your inner thighs twitch in response to the sweet teasing. "Joshua, 'm close," you sighed.

Joshua hummed in response, applying more pressure to his large hand on your lower tummy, his low moan vibrating against your sensitive bud.

You slowly fell apart, moaning his name loudly as your sweet orgasm sizzled beneath your skin, washing over you completely, making you tremble on his bed until you are half conscious.

"Joshua," you repeated his name over and over breathlessly. You had released his hair, laying languidly on the edge of his bed as you slowly came down from your high.

But Joshua wasn't done.

His tongue lapped between your folds, dipping into your entrance with a soft groan upon finding that your core throbbed for more. With a soft hum he returned to give your cunt a deep open kiss, making you flinch slightly.

"Josh, please," you breathed out. "I need you... right now." 

You sat up clumsily just as he detached his mouth from your cunt, a shudder going through you when you saw the glistening wetness dripping from his mouth and chin, which he wiped with the back of his hand.

"Come here," you motioned when he stood up and you reached out to hook your fingers on the band of his gray sweats, looking up to his eyes as you pulled both his boxers and sweats down for him to step out of them.

You grabbed his cock with one hand, rolling your hand over to his bulbous head, smearing the precum gathering on his slit to give him a few pumps. You brought his tip to your mouth, giving him shy kitty licks before darting a look to his eyes.

His hand brushed your hair gently before cupping the side of your head. "I thought you needed me, baby," he teased and nodded his head to the bed. "Lie back."

You crawled backwards on his large bed and lied back at the same time that he crawled on top of your body, slotting himself between your thighs with a sigh.

"Let me be on top," you breathed, bumping the tip of your nose against his before kissing him. "Please?"

Joshua looked at you with some amusement written in his eyes, he thought of a snarky remark, to tease you before giving into your request. But instead of that, he nodded and rolled over.

"Sit up," you asked softly, moving on your knees to straddle him.

Joshua smiled and sat up, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. "What are you doing, baby?" he chuckled breathily as you sat on top of him, clumsily wrapping your legs around him.

"Just let me do this," you said with a furrowed brow, scooting so that you could align your core to his cock, guiding with your hand before pushing your hips to sheathe him inside you with one thrust.

"God," he breathed out, the tone of his voice raw as his head dropped on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby."

"D'you like that?" you asked innocently, swaying your hips gently against his and biting back a moan over how good he felt stuffed inside you.

He slowly lifted his head to face you. "Yeah, baby," he sighed with an embarrassed smile as he added: "I missed you."

You shuddered upon hearing his confession. "I m-missed you too, Josh."

"Yeah?" he mouthed.

You nodded shyly. "All the time," you admitted.

You realized that you didn't have to go fast to achieve a high, you were just fine with rutting against his hips, feeling every inch of his cock sheathed inside your warmth. The pleasure written on his face was enough for you to stifle a moan, biting your lower lip.

His dark eyes glimmered under the soft glow of the overhead lights of his room, you saw his mouth part a little before he blinked and dropped his head in your chest, muffling a raw moan in your tits. His hands firmly placed on your ass, pressing down each time you sank down on him.

"Leave him," he muttered against your chest, leaving a trail of kisses leading to your heart.

"Joshua," you whispered, your hand slid up his nape, feeling his soft black hair.

"Leave him," he asked again, now lifting his head from your chest to lock eyes with you. "Please."

You thought of telling him all of the implications of that action alone. Because you've thought about it, you wanted to. You've thought about it countless times but there was always something in the way.

"I'll help you," he swallowed hard. "I'll protect you."

"Joshua," you insisted again. "Please, don't. I can't get you more involved."

Joshua let out a breathy laugh. "I think it's a little too late for that, baby," he said slowly, his eyes glinting with some emotion as you kept bouncing gently on top of him.

You read his face, the honesty in his eyes as he kept looking at you. "Are you sure?" you muttered, holding onto his shoulders with your hands to keep your pace steady.

But he held you through, guiding the sway of your hips with his pretty hands. He nodded with his head. "I've never been more sure about something."

A sharp pain twisted inside your chest, you shuddered and rested your forehead on top of his. "Why? What changed?" you whispered against your better judgment. But you needed this.

"I want to do this," he said, but that wasn't the whole truth.

"I don't want this to hurt you in any way," you muttered.

"Come on, baby," Joshua smiled softly at you, his hands sliding up the line of your back wrapping his arms around you. "Don't go all sweet on me."

"Please Joshua," you insisted, a slight tinge of urgency humming in your tone and you pulled your forehead back to see his face fully.

Joshua's mind began to reel. He considered two things, his most instinctive reaction was to lie and deflect the very evident truth (though not to you) that he was in love with you. The second one, and one that he wasn't too keen on, was to just tell you later.

His hands traveled down to your lower back, grabbing your hips to help you move on top of him with more urgency. He didn't need to finish, but he was hoping he would distract you.

You dug your heels into the soft covers to anchor yourself and started pushing against his hips purposefully. "Why now? Tell me," you whispered. And he saw it in your eyes, you were already suspecting.

"Stay with me," he replied, his voice low but full of certainty.

"I'm not going anywhere, I told you I'd stay," you replied, your sweet voice taking a tinge of concern.

He shook his head slightly. "I don't want you to leave," he said through a ragged sigh. "Stay with me."

He knew he was crossing a line, he was about to find out if you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

Your eyes remained on his, and he wished for a second to know what you were thinking. The rolling of your hips came to a stop and Joshua thought that you'd get up and leave. His heart vibrated against his chest frantically.

You gave him a slow nod with your head, it was almost a mechanical movement. Okay, you mouthed, okay.

"Yeah?" he whispered, his eyebrow arching slightly. He licked his lips before bringing a hand up to cup your chin and kissed your lower lip softly.

You nodded with eagerness now. "Yeah," you let out a soft laugh. "Why, where does this come from?" you asked.

"What do you mean?" he hummed, egging you to retake the movement of your hips, wanting to feel your tight walls sliding on him again.

You tilted your head back as Joshua moved his lips down your chin, trailing along the line of your jaw. And you let your eyes close to focus back to the motion of your hips, his hard cock on your fluttering walls and you moaned when his lips reached your throat.

"You were meant to be mine," he murmured against your skin. "He was introducing you to me, before everything."

Jake was supposed to introduce you to Joshua. But then he decided he wanted you for himself and you didn't meet Joshua until you were already dating your husband. And it was fine by him, he thought nothing of it at first.

But then he got to meet you.

"You are..." Joshua dipped his face on the crook of your neck, letting out a soft sigh against your skin. "You are the sweetest girl I've ever met."

His lips left an open kiss on your throat, making you squirm a little and moan. Your hand shifted from the back of his head to cup his cheek and you leaned your head, breathing erratically due to the movement of your hips on him.

"Leave him," he said again, but now you felt like you were losing him to a frenzied trance. His eyes were doing that thing again, glimmering under the soft lighting of the room.

"I will, I'll leave him," you hummed and your heart stuttered, breaking over the man that was looking at you like a lost puppy.

He moaned softly when you captured his lips with your own, his hands held your body, shifting to feel your skin, your back, your arms, until they parked at your thighs, kneading softly at the rhythm of the gentle sway of your hips.

"Joshua," you sighed a moan with some urgency.

Joshua turned your body over, pressing your back onto the mattress and slotting himself between your parted thighs to sink into your walls again with a loud groan from his part.

Now on top of you, he could do what he hadn't had the chance to until that moment. As he pulled his hips back, to then press against yours again, his cock dragging in and out of you, fucking you slowly, he could only think of one thing.

"Let me love you," he muttered with a raw tone, looking into your eyes, his hand met your cheek. "Be mine."

A sob coiled in your throat, making his eyes shift to your mouth and back to your eyes. He knew he had struck something in you, and he knew what you felt.

You gave him a fucked out nod, parting your mouth but no words came out.

"Mn? D'you want me to love you?" he asked with a honeyed purr, a smile stretching his pretty lips when you nodded again. "Are you mine?"

"Yeah, yeah," you whimpered between gasps he drew out with each thrust.

He grabbed your leg, hiking your knee up his shoulder to push deeper into you again with a loud cry of pleasure from your part, making tears gather on the corners of your eyes as he started sinking his cock in your walls again.

"I'm gonna love you," he gasped, the enunciation alone robbing him of air as he slowly pushed himself into a mad love surge for you.

Pleasure bloomed inside your body, inundating you with overwhelming waves, your mouth parted further and your brows knitted. The hand that wasn't holding onto him cupped his cheek, driving his gaze to yours.

"Are you gonna come, baby?" he hummed, enjoying the look on your face when you were close.

"Yeah," you gasped out lewdly, closing your eyes to welcome in the sweet wave of pleasure that shot through you briefly. "'m so close."

"Mmn, yeah baby? Gonna come with me?" he grunted, pushing his cock into your walls, his lip quivered slightly, letting out a raw moan through. "Want me to come inside you?"

"Yeah, please. Please, Josh," you whined pathetically, letting out a strangled moan as you slowly started to lose control, sweet pleasure washing over you, making your thighs shake. "Ohh god, mn, 'm gonna–'m–,"

"I know, I know, baby," he replied gently, feeling your walls clamping down around his cock, your warmth swallowing him, tipping him over the edge too. Joshua moaned in your mouth, spilling himself into you with deep hard thrusts.

"Joshua," you squirmed under the weight of his body as he fucked you through your long and sweet orgasm, making a mess on the bed covers.

With a couple of sloppy thrusts, he waited until you stopped shaking to ease your leg back to the mattress, carefully and pressed his chest against yours. He decided to remain quiet, relaxing into the gentle shock of confessing so much in a span of a couple of minutes.

But he just turned his head, bumping the tip of his nose against the underside of your jaw before pressing a kiss on your skin. Breathing tiredly under his weight you caressed his back with your hands, feeling his soft skin and you let out a soft hum.

"Should we... let's get cleaned up," you muttered after some time, breaking the peaceful silence.

The weight of his body between your legs had started to cause some discomfort around the joints of your hips, but even then you didn't want him to break away from you.

With heavy reluctance, Joshua peeled from your body, climbing off the bed and offered you his hand again to follow him down the hall and to the bathroom, where you washed.

"I can lend you some of my clothes," he offered quietly when you came back to his bedroom, wrapped in one of his bathrobes.

He finished putting on some black boxers when he raised his head and found you standing in front of his large bed. He sat down on one corner, reaching over to you and wrapped his long fingers around your wrist to motion you between his thighs.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked, reading your face, he saw that the color had returned to your lips.

"Yeah, I am," you whispered, caressing his shoulder with the palm of your hand. "I'm a bit scared, Josh."

"I know," he admitted, brushing your damp hair with his fingers and tucking it behind your ear carefully. "But we can plan this together. You're not alone."

That made your glimmering eyes lock with his. It felt like a blow to your chest to come to grips that Joshua was willing to help you and even more so, that he loved you.

"Thank you, Joshua," you said, the knot coiling in your throat stealing your voice. "For everything."

Joshua just nodded silently, bringing your hand to his lips to press soft kisses in your knuckles. "Let's sleep, okay? We'll plan tomorrow."

You wore one of his t-shirts to sleep, wrapped in his manly scent and his gray bed sheets.

At the beginning, you laid facing each other at arm's length. He assumed that you needed space, as it was the first time you slept with him.

So he was beginning to prepare for another sleepless night, but this time he was looking at the subject of his unrest. Even if you were right there with him, the pressing matter of getting you out of your failing marriage by any means necessary was causing him worry.

It took him several seconds to realize that you were still awake. Your eyes were closed, but you slowly moved your body closer to his, until your face nestled into the warmth of his neck. Joshua sighed with a smile and that made you tilt your head back so you could see his face.

"Go to sleep, baby," you whispered, looking at him fondly. "We'll plan tomorrow."

At that moment, he wrapped his strong arms around you, giving you a slow, languid kiss that went on until he couldn't kiss you anymore, until his body begged him to rest.

Joshua doesn't know how he managed to fall asleep in your arms, he believes that it was the gentle rhythm of your heartbeat that served as the best lullaby he could ever ask for.

He wished for more nights like this with you, though he wasn't sure when that would be possible.

Nor of the consequences it would bring.

› a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble

but to answer your question @thatgirlfromwindsor: i think joshua is an ass man. yeah 🤔

if you liked this, lemme know! a comment, a like, reblog, anything is appreciated! drop me an ask if you wanna, send me your filthy reqs, or not ᨐฅ💖

anyway now, i swear that next update will be city lights pt 8, i promise hehe

love you all (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)♡

toodles

join my taglist | buy me a coffee? ♡

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[pars-ley]

Can I just say an absolute huge thank you to everyone who has started following me recently and to the followers who have stuck around while I disappeared, how I got to 800 I will never know. But it means a lot, so in order to celebrate, I've decided to do a drabble game! Simply choose a member, one genre/au and one prompt from the list below, if you would like these to be fluffy, angsty or smutty please specify. Feel free to send an ask (anons welcome) or a message. Disclaimer: It will be member x female reader (unless you request gender neutral).

Choose one member:

BTS -

Namjoon

Seokjin

Hoseok

Yoongi

Taehyung

Jimin

Jungkook

Got7 -

Jackson

Jinyoung

Bambam

Jaebeom

Yugyeom

Mark

Youngjae

Choose one genre/au:

- Fake dating

- Best friends to lovers

- Enemies to lovers

- Office romance

- Coffee shop

- Soulmates

- Crime boss/mafia

- Body guard

- Single parent

- Idol

Choose one prompt:

1. "You knew me when I had nothing; when I was no one."

2. "I changed who I was for you, and now I don't know who I am anymore."

3. "You forget, I know all your secrets. I know you better than you know yourself."

4. "I feel like you're punishing me by being so sweet all the time, just stop. I don't deserve you."

5. "Just please, don't leave me."

6. "How do you expect me to focus, when you're walking around wearing that?"

7. "I know they don't want us to be together and I can't change that, but I will never stop loving you."

8. "I'd rather fight with you, than be with anyone else."

9. "You were the one that got away. I just wish I'd have told you back then, maybe things would be different."

10. "It's just temporary, but I need to know...will you wait for me?"

11. "It's not what it looks like, I swear to you."

12. "I can't believe I'm going to ask you of all people but I'm desperate. I need your help."

13. "Do you know what hoops I had to jump through to find you? Could you please just give me five minutes?"

14. "The way you taste, the feeling of your lips, you're like a drug to me."

15. "A kiss is never just a kiss, no matter what anyone says."

[blizzardfluffykpop]

(Not) Home for the Holidays

Summary: Spending Christmas with Yugyeom’s family.

Oneshot

Fluff, Fake Dating to Lovers au

Word Count: 2,811

Yugyeom X Female! Reader

Requested: Hello it’s my first time request something sabe of a promt so I don’t know if I’m doing this right but can I get number 7 with Yugyeom please 😋💗

Prompt: 7. “Okay,... so I may have told my parents that we were dating so you could come over for the holidays--.”

------

I wake up to see Yugyeom standing in my kitchen, fumbling around looking for something to eat. I shake my head, knowing I really shouldn’t have given him a key to my apartment. I make my way over to the island and start to make myself a cup of coffee when my phone rings. I pick it up and see it’s my mom. I quickly answer it, “Hey, Mom!” Her voice rings through, “Hey,... Sweetie.” And I can tell from her tone already that it’s bad news, and my heart drops, “What is it?” She sighs, “You know how every year we celebrate Christmas together?” And she goes on after I let out a hum, “Well, your father" She pauses for a moment and goes, "(F/n), can you tell them?” I hear him clear his throat before he goes, “Well, your uncle, who you know, just got married and all...” Him dragging out the inevitable is not helping me one bit, “I know,...” I answer back, and he goes on, “Well, he moved a few states away. And was hoping the two of us could join him and his husband for Christmas.” I sigh, “Oh,” My mom picks up the phone again and goes, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know we were looking forward to being together. But I’ll send your gifts in the mail, and they should be there by Christmas.” I nod and realize she can’t see that when I tell her, “It’s alright, I know things come up. I’ll figure it out. It’s, um, it’s alright.” My dad speaks up, “Thank you for understanding. You’re the best kid anyone could ever ask for.” I wish to grumble at that, but I hold it back, “Thanks, Dad. You two enjoy your holiday and tell them Merry Christmas for me, okay?” They tell me, “Of course, dear. We’ll see you soon?” I think to myself, ‘more like later it, seems’. And we tell each other bye before I hang up.

I look over and see Yugyeom rummaging through my fridge now, “My uh parents said that I can’t come home for Christmas...” I hold back my tears, and before I can let out another word, I feel two arms wrap around me. “It’s alright,...” He tells me as I sniffle, and a few tears fall from my eyes, and I curl more into his embrace. “I just,... every year we open presents together. And I’m not used to celebrating without them.” I mumble, and he rubs his hand along my side as I continue to tell him about it. When I’m down to the last sniffle, he pulls away and asks, “What if you come over to my house for Christmas?” I shake my head and look down at my feet, “I couldn’t do that, Yugyeom. That would be imposing on your family, and I couldn’t do that to them.” He bends down so I can look him in the eyes, “Nonsense, my parents would love to have you over. They’ve met you plenty of times, and I know Euigyeom would love to meet you too.” I stare at him and sigh, “Are you positive?” He grins and nods his head, “Absolutely.” When he stands back up, I pull him in for a hug, “Thank you, I owe you big time.” I feel him shake his head, “No, not this time.” I roll my eyes and laugh, “Ah! There’s that laugh that I missed!” We pull away, and he goes back to my fridge. “Y’know, your milk has gone bad, right?” I groan, “I’ll buy some tomorrow.” He whines, “But I wanted some cereal!” I shake my head, “Don’t you have milk at your apartment?!?” He pouts over at me, “But it’s too far away.” I shake my head and head over to my couch, “Guess you’ll have to eat it dry then!”

------

My parents' gifts arrived the day Yugyeom and I were heading over to his parents' house. I gathered them up in my arms after shooting my parents a text that I received them and put them in the car as well. I finally settled into the passenger seat, ready for the long ride ahead of us. We pull our seatbelts on, and he turns the engine over and roars to life, and we’re set for the trip. About the third red light in, and Yugyeom’s been oddly quiet, he lets out a sigh. I raise my eyebrow at him and ask what’s up. And he goes, “Okay,... So, I may have told my parents that we were dating so you could come over for the holidays--.” I gawk at him, and he does everything to avoid my gaze and stares dead ahead at the road. I take a minute to process all that information and decide on asking, “Did you tell them how long we’ve been together?” He shakes his head, “Mom just said that she always knew we’d end up together, so she didn’t ask for any details.” My lips make an ‘o’ shape, and I nod, “Well, it wouldn’t be the worst lie we’ve told.” He grimaces, “It’s pretty up there,...” I laugh, “And lying to Bambam that we didn’t plan anything for his birthday was any better?” He laughs, “You’re right,... Man, Bam, was so mad, and then we brought him back home to his apartment because he was fuming. And there were the rest of the boys surprising him. He got over it pretty fast, but ouch, did it sting when he was mad.” I laugh, “We’ll pull through, don't worry, Gyeom.” He nods, “Alright, (N/n).” We shake hands before we settle into a comfortable silence.

We pass a gas station, and as he pumps gas, I grab us a few snacks. And we get back into the car, and I ask, “What do you think the story should be, though?” He ponders for a moment, “I was looking over at you, and you told me how hopelessly in love with me you were--.” I shake my head and jokingly shove him, “That definitely wouldn’t happen, and your dad would call us out.” He rolls his eyes, “Well, what’s your idea–?” I cut him off, “Thank you for asking. I was thinking we were out with the boys, and you pulled me aside and told me that you had it bad for me.” He shakes his head as he pulls out of the gas station, “Yeah, no. What if we?” We go back and forth for another twenty minutes until we settle on both of us confessing our feelings at the same time. He asks, “Works for me, and for how long?” I go, “A month?” He nods, “Perfect.”

When we finally arrive at his house, I realize how fucked I am. Because this is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. I’m fake dating Yugyeom, the man I have had heart eyes for the past four years? Oh, by the end of this week, I am either going to end up confessing or die trying to hold it together. He rings the doorbell, and we’re holding our gifts, and his dad answers and tells us to put them under the tree. We do, and we go out and grab our bags before heading back in. “Oh, you didn’t tell me you were bringing your cr–” Yugyeom quickly stops Euigyeom in his tracks, “She’s my girlfriend, now.” Euigyeom’s eyes light up, “Oh well, it's good to finally meet you, (Y/n). I’ve heard tons about you for the past four years. You make him truly happy. Take care of him, okay?” I nod and bow telling him it’s nice to meet him as well and that I’d take care of Yugyeom. Yugyeom shows me the house and stops in his room, “This is where we’ll be staying.” I nod, “It’s very uh,... Teenage you like.” He laughs, and his cheeks turn red, “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” I nod, and he sits down on his bed and gestures for me as well. I joined him and took in the posters of all the cars, singers, and knickknacks he had. He tells me, “You know, it’s one thing to lie to your parents, but lying to my brother?” I nod, understanding where he’s coming from on that. “It’s alright. We’ll manage, don’t worry, no one will suspect a thing, okay? It’s just four days and three nights.” He nods, “Yeah, you’re right.” I smile and ruffle his hair before getting up to see if his parents need any help.

We spent the first day catching up with his whole family. Such as telling them how we’ve been dating for a month and how we got together. We tried to make it as believable as possible by looking each other in the eyes like we were the only ones we saw in the room. Once we finished dinner, we held hands, and I intertwined them in front of everyone. His parents looked over at each other and cooed, “Young love!” And our cheeks turn bright red as Euigyeom fake gags. His dad stretches out and yawns, “Well, since you two have had a long drive and I’m assuming we are all tired. Let’s all turn in for the night?” I finally catch a glimpse of the clock, and it’s well past eleven. We all nod and let out various yawns ourselves as Yugyeom walks us up to his room.

After we do our nightly routines, it takes a few minutes for us to get situated on his bed. When we do, I’m out like a light, and the next thing I see is sunlight streaming through the blinds. And oh god, why is it hitting Yugyeom that perfectly, and it isn’t even the golden hour. I hold back any gasps, and that’s when I notice we’re tangled in each other’s limbs. I hear a knock on his door, and someone says, “Breakfast is ready if you two wish to join us!” I shake my head and shake Yugyeom awake, and he moves his arm out from under me and rubs his eyes. He opens his eyes and smiles over at me, “Good morning!” I smile, and for some reason, no matter how awkward something could be, he has a way of making it comfortable. I hate that I love that quality about him so much, “Good morning, Gyeom. Someone said there was breakfast downstairs.” His eyes light up, “Aw heck yeah! I’ve been craving Dad’s pancakes for weeks now.” He slips out from our tangled mess and waits for me to get up, and we rush down the stairs taking two at a time.

When we hit the bottom of the steps, “Ohh~ Look it’s mistletoe!” Euigyeom teases with a camera in his hand as the two of us pass under the mistletoe. We exchanged a look of shock at each other, and Euigyeom almost caught on for a second. Before we turn to each other, I wink as if saying, ‘wait until they catch on, it’s all fake’. He dips his head down and places the gentlest kiss on my lips imaginable. And I barely reciprocate before that fleeting moment is gone. My brain knows it’s all for show, but my heart screams that everything is real. And it’s taking everything in me to act like that’s normal. When I see Euigyeom had a camera out and caught it on film, I’d hate to ask for a copy, but I think I may later.

The rest of Christmas Eve was helping prepare for tomorrow night’s dinner. Including making cookies for Santa and, of course, eating the cookies, except for a few. Euigyeom looks at the empty plate and pouts, “No more cookies?” We all laugh, and I go, “I’ll go get some more!” I pick up the plate and go into the kitchen, opening up different cookie jars and filling up the plate. As I grab two more cookies, I feel two arms wrap around my waist. I turn my head and see it’s Yugyeom, of course, and I can’t help but smile. That’s when we hear a click of a camera. And his dad exclaimed, “Oh, this is going in the scrapbook!” We both laugh, and Yugyeom pulls away, and I bring the cookies in. Euigyeom says, “Thank you! You're the best– she’s marriage material, Yuggie!!” I blush and scoot in closer to Yugyeom and feel his arm wrap around my torso. If I wasn’t red from what Euigyeom said, I’m definitely red from this.

“Okay, guys, each of you grab a present to open early!” His mom tells us brightly, and we collectively grab one. We get back on the couch, his dad goes, “Dig in, kids!” I grabbed the smallest one addressed to me and opened it to find a bracelet from my mom. I smile and fumble to put it on before Yugyeom softly goes, “Here, let me.” And carefully grabs it and clasps the bracelet around my wrist with ease. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and tell him thank you. He nods as he shows off the gloves that his brother bought him. His brother opened his gift to find a ring from his dad. His dad’s gift, a hat, was from Yugyeom. And lastly, his mom opened a gift from her husband, a small charm to a growing pandora bracelet.

When we finally get into Yugyeom’s room, I can’t help but feel more relieved. Today was the absolute worst for my heart to deal with to date. I just kissed my crush, my best friend, for the first time in front of his brother, and he snapped a photo. And while I enjoyed it, I shouldn’t have, it was nothing more than a fleeting kiss, and it crossed so many platonic lines. But no, my heart said, ‘this is everything I wanted and more’ and ‘this was my Christmas wish’. And then he wrapped his arms around me in the kitchen. And his dad snapped a photo of that, while I could have felt rather platonic about that movement. My heart skipped a beat and thought of all the domesticities of that action.

Even after a quick shower, I still can’t get those thoughts out of my mind. And when I open Yugyeom’s door, I see Yugyeom already lying back, and I assume he’s asleep, so I crawl into his bed. I face the wall and hope that sleep will take me as I turn off the bedside lamp. When my brain decides it won’t sleep until I fess up. I roll over and ask, “Yugyeom, are you still up?” He opens his eyes, “Yeah,…” And before I can lose whatever courage I have I go, “I think that um I should tell you that I uh... actually like you.” And instead of the appalled face, I was expecting, he grins and tells me, “That’s the best news I’ve ever heard because I like you too. But we can discuss more in the morning.” And with that, he kisses my forehead, tells me goodnight, and rolls over, falling asleep soundly. I stay up a few more minutes staring at the ceiling in disbelief and shock of what just occurred. Before I fall asleep, I lean over and kiss his cheek and go to bed dreaming of sugar plums.

I wake up to Yugyeom shaking me awake, “It’s Christmas, (Y/n)!” I laugh, stretching to wake myself up, “Yeah, it is. Merry Christmas, Yugyeom.” “Merry Christmas, (Y/n)!” He replies with all the joy in the world. Before he looks at me dead-on, sitting on his knees in front of me, “Did you mean what you said last night?” I nod, “Every word, and more.” And this brilliant grin washes over his face, “This is the best Christmas ever!” And he pulls me into a kiss, and that’s when the door flies open. His mom shouts, “It’s Christmas!” And snaps a photo of us kissing on his bed, and she grins, “Aw, you guys are so cute!” I hide my face into his chest, and his mom skips happily down the steps. He gets up and offers me his hand, which I willingly take, and we head down the stairs to open our presents.

Not without a few shots of us being under the mistletoe, of course. Yeah, at first, I thought this would be the most awkward Christmas of my life. And while it was, I couldn’t be happier. And I most definitely got copies of all those photos as a Christmas present. And we spent the rest of the night eating Christmas dinner and chatting the night away. When the next morning came, and we finally had to leave, I had to say I would thoroughly miss this place.

[binniesthighs]

kinktober - 02

pairing: self insert, afab reader x kim yugyeom (got7) 

genre: smut!, 18+ 

word count: 2.1k 

a/n: hi hi cuties! thank you so much for your love on day one!! i’m happy that from it we were able to...learn things 😏 hehehe I’m super excited to write for an idol and a group that I haven’t before!! i picked the pairings for kinktober using a randomizer for the most part, so that’s where we’ll get some ~variety~ teehee 

[warnings under the cut!] 

warnings: nylon fetish, thigh fucking/thigh job, hands free orgasm,  cumshot <3 

---   ---

You had only liked them for one reason...well, maybe two. 

You weren’t sure where he had gotten, or what had crossed his mind to get them for you either, nor had he properly thought out that they could’ve been impossibly uncomfortable. 

Even against the skin of your fingertips the scratchy material already felt unbearable. The nylon itself felt too thin; it was poorly made in the first place, and he likely hadn’t spend much on them either. The selling point for the pair of nylon tights were the sparkles that webbed around them--literally--the black tights were wrapped in the design of shiny orange spiderwebs. 

“...Thank you?” You told your  boyfriend apprehensively, “I guess, thank you for thinking of me I should say...” 

Yugyeom looked all too excited, grinning and barely attached to his stool across from you. “I saw them and I thought that they looked perfect for you...for your legs...you know...”

Had he not looked so bashful in that moment, you would’ve felt more nervous. His gift to you said what his words couldn’t: of course he wanted to see you in them. Of course his eyes would rake over your whole form when you wore them. Yugyeom would drink up the way that they would hug every contour of bottom half, how tight they really were and how the could accentuate all of his favorite parts of you. He didn’t need to ask for it out loud at all. 

After knowing you so long, he could still sense your apprehension, immediately moving to scoop up your hands in his and rub into them with his thumbs. 

“You don’t have to though, I just thought...” He beams back at you, looking as proud as ever, probably secretly loving how shy you’ve become too. With his left hand, he caresses the peachy hairs of your cheek. “...I know that you’d look amazing in them. Just like you always do.” 

Your boyfriend plants a tentative kiss on your forehead which gives you a slight shiver. After knowing him for so long, he’d never do anything to push you. 

You hold the pair of nylon tights in your hands, squeezing the cardboard packaging in your palm. 

“What would I wear with them?” You whisper softly into his chest. You usual attire of sweats and other pairs of baggy jeans wouldn’t meet the task at all. 

Its as if he’s already thought about it when your boyfriend chuckles in response, “That big black shirt of yours?” It surprises you when he skims his hand down the curve of your back, leaning closer to suggest, “...and nothing else?” 

His words feel like a demand, but he’d never do any such thing. Its the weight of them that makes you feel heavy; its the prospect that he’d imagined this, that he’d planned it and wanted you just like that. 

“And the tights?” 

Yugyeom nods, returning to his bashful self, “You’d just look...irresistible.” His last word is said into his shoulder where he hides his cheek, embarrassed by the word. 

“Don’t hurt in trying...” You return with a new found confidence. 

The pieces start to all fit: his anticipation, the way in which he had planned it and itches to see you just like that. The mere thought of your boyfriend’s fantasy starts to manifest in your own head. Nothing feels more exciting than the notion that you do this all to him. Your eyes wander to his waist, down to the elastic of his grey sweatpants which would normally cling loose to him, but now...

You pretend not to notice the outline to allow the intrigue to swell even more. 

“Be right back then,” You promise. 

In the dark light of your bedroom, you take your time getting yourself ready, making sure that everything is in place. You shrug your bra off, throw the tee on and spray a few spritzes of that perfume that you know he can’t get enough of. You’re warm when you slide the tights over your legs, and they stretch just as they’re made to. The thin fabric makes minuscule holes where it meets its limit, and all around you the orange spiderweb design winks when it catches the dim light. They look cute, you decide, and you find a new reason to like them. 

The second reason you like them you consider, is the way that Yugyeom will stare when he sees you as if starved to see you as such. 

You wear no underwear underneath them--its a little uncomfortable, but the bare feeling of your pussy against them in unlike anything you’ve ever felt. Its a type of vulnerable feeling. The thin nylon and a small cotton pad is all that protects you from the air, and from touch. You gasp feeling how the fabric holds tight to your ass and tucks between your thighs. Even the carpet under your toes feels ultra-smooth. 

You glide around your room for a few moments, catching your reflection in the mirror only for a few moments. The shirt just passes below your ass, but is more comfortable than anything. There’s a reason he’s asked for the shirt in particular with it’s fuzzy touch and the way that you look cozier than anything it in. 

Sparkling orange spiders crawl up your thighs on the design where you hadn’t noticed them before. 

Yugyeom’s exactly where he was when you had left leaning against the kitchen island when you return. He pretends to be surprised by your entrance, but he’s anything but. 

He shoves his hands in his pockets, giving you the exact look that you expected, his eyes fleeting over your body with the same heat of flickering flames. He pops his cheek with a swipe of his tongue, then bites into his lip. 

“Damn.” Is all that he can say. 

“How do I look?” You give him a little twirl feeling cool from the obvious lack of layering. The action is a bit greedy in and of itself--you hope that he can smell your fragrance and come burying himself into you like he often does. 

“Come here.” 

You do as you’re told, moving slowly into the grasp of his large hands which settle onto your hips to pull you into a lazy and careful kiss. 

“I knew that you’d look amazing,” He brags into your lips. 

In return you praise him back, “You’re rarely wrong, aren’t you?” 

He hums gleefully into you, bringing your hips to his own where he grinds himself into you slowly. Yugyeom was always aware of what it did to you: when you could feel him just barely on your clit, when you could feel him close, but not close enough. A squeak breaks from your throat because of it, making you waver and fall to his arms. 

“You do it to me,” He swears, “I can’t handle you like this.” 

You’re already a heady mess when his fingers creep under the hem of your tee to grab at your hips to pull you even closer, feeling the way that you’ve warmed yourself from your arousal. You let him do as he wishes, finding yourself slipping into desiring anything; anything if it means that its him that does it to you. 

Your boyfriend cups your ass--an action which brings your clit even closer to his throbbing member barely kept by the confines of his pants, and your own sensitivity barely kept by the fabric of the nylon. 

“So pretty, so beautiful,” He chants into your ear. 

Its even a challenge to say his name once he begins to course his hands down your torso and between your legs, reaching his fingers to your heat where you’ve wet the black and orange spiderweb tights. You feel even more bare in the tights alone, even more sensitive too. 

In your impatience, you hook your hands under your boyfriend’s waistband finding it cruel for him to be so clothed when you are not. 

“Just a second,” He tuts, then takes you by the hand to your coach perfectly sized for just the two of you. 

Yugyeom lays you down, pulling off the rest of his own clothes, removing your tee last to print kisses into your breasts with intent, bowing to reach your buds and press more kisses and gentle sucks to your buds. He pulls at them, forcing a moan from your chest that can only be steadied by your hands combing through his dark and long trellises. 

You’d never seen his cock as excited as it was now: pearly with pre-cum, almost red with want. Seeing you in the nylons has the young man utter lost, utterly yours, you realize.

“Sit down.” You command him, already thrilled with the way that he bends to your orders. He does so with hands magnetized to your ass once more. His chest has flushed and quakes with his shaking breaths. Your boyfriends almost pants like a dog seeing you like this. 

After, you settle into his lap, wiggling your hips and rolling them just over him while not letting him feel the pleasure of your weight. 

“Like-like this?” He gasps with awe from the view behind. His idle hands find your clit and rubs it in circles which makes you falter, but you’re not going to give him the upper hand. 

“Like this,” You correct him, spreading your legs apart to make space for his dick to slide between them. You spit into your hand, lathering his hardened length. Your own entrance has slicked your legs, dripping much more than you had thought possible. The nylons are soiled from the mixture of liquids, but the friction of it all doesn’t hurt you nor him at all. 

You squeeze your legs together, carefully, yet still tightly enough to hold your boyfriend’s dick firmly. He groans out with teeth clenched at the sensation, not even knowing what to do with his hands and casting his head back against the sofa. 

“S-shit...” He swears. 

Just like you always do, you roll your hips back and forth as you’ve done countless times before riding him until you can’t stand, but this time using your legs to fuck his length. You’re slow and purposeful, then find balance by holding to his legs to support your weight. 

Yugyeom chuckles incredulous, “H-How did you know...?” 

Between your own tiny grunts, you chuckle back, “It was written all over your face, baby.” 

At least he settles his arms around the back of the sofa, craning his head down into your back with each choked breath that he takes while you fuck him, pumping his cock between your legs and ruining the nylons even more. every once and a while he’ll reach around to fondle with your breasts, although it never lasts for long until he falls back into the feeling. 

Your own core bubbles with an orgasm teased by the sensation of your clit brushed against his shaft making you falter. Selfishly you crave and orgasm of your own, but not after he’s had his first. 

After long your whole body feels sticky with sweat and your legs begin to shake from your position. However, the longer that you continue, the shallower your boyfriend’s breaths become, the huskier his voice becomes as to the severity of his curses. You loose yourself in the rhythm: up and down, back, forward, circle shapes oval shapes. Harder, softer, you squeeze and you’ve almost reached your own orgasm. 

Hastily, Yugyeom’s grasp finds you once more. “G-Gonna...” 

“--Cum for me,” You beg of him, “Cum all over my legs and yours, cum on these cheap fucking tights you bought to fuck me in.” 

The harshness of your words sends him over the edge, whining and groaning out with an air foreign and all to unbelievable to you. His pink tip erupts with his cum, splattering and spilling over your legs and painting the the black fabric white. The sight sends you over your own edge, your clit throbbing over his dick and tight between your legs which squeeze at the sensitivity. 

Cum mixes between both of your lower-halves, then drips onto the sofa--although you barely notice. You fall flush to his back, out of breath and nearly collapsing from the exhaustion that plagues your body. As you fall back, your boyfriend holds you without a second thought. Your seating bodies become one, both of you bewildered over the skill with which you had surprised even you. 

No matter how hot and uncomfortable you’ve become from the wet tights, you still crave to be close to your lover. 

“Maybe you should buy me cheap tights more often,” You joke. 

Yugyeom nods, pulling you back for a kiss. 

“You got one thing wrong though,” He tsks, suddenly pulling you back to your position laying on the couch. In one movement he takes hold of the tights, ripping them open between your legs and exposing your glistening pussy to the air. “I did get them to fuck you in them, but like this.” 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @cherrychngkyn @iwanttobangchan @dom–minnie @mistakensilence @hotgorloikawa @bowlofblueberries @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[tuanstars]

degrading a restrained yugyeom until he comes completely untouched (like you restrain him and don't touch him at all like not even his stomach or thighs)

restrained - kim yugyeom

───── -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- ─────

⇢paring - yugyeom x reader

⇢genre - smut

⇢summary - yugyeom cums untouched for the first time

⇢warnings - sub!yugeyom, dom!reader, degrading, bondage

⇢notes- here you go anon!

───── -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- ─────

yugyeom is struggling and tugging against the rope his wrists were currently in. his face settles into a pout as he realizes the knots are tied tightly, and he couldn’t move without your help. “you know exactly why i have you tied up, yugy.” you tell him, going to stand beside where he was spread out in the bed.

“you wanted to be a slut so bad, now i’m gonna treat you like one.” you told him, watching his cheeks heat from your words. his cock lay hard in his stomach, with a swollen tip steadily dripping precum. “you thought you were so cute doing that? especially in public?” you asked rhetorically. he wasn’t going to respond anyway.

“you’re such a little slut, i’m sure if i allowed someone here to see you, you wouldn’t mind them looking at you, right?” you asked him, “you wouldn’t mind them seeing how much of a whore you act like when you’re with me.”your harsh words only sent a shiver down his spine and went straight to his cook.

“p-please touch me? i need you to, please.” he pleads for you, already panting, and having his hands clench and unclench around nothing above him “why should i? you’ve already proven to me that you’re nothing but a disobedient slut.” you told him mockingly. his cock twitched as it lay untouched on his tummy — which you failed or notice.

“i bet the only thing you can think about is being fucked silly like the little cumslut you are, huh.” your words were his breaking point, and he was coming onto his stomach with a cry of your name. his back arched off the bed and he jolted. his mouth was open as he experienced the aftershocks of his orgasm.

his mouth was open as he came untouched for the first time, looking up at you with glossy eyes. “i-i need you..” he mumbles, hips spstuttering. “looks like you’re going to have to earn the privilege to cum again, pup.” you told him as you went to get the necessary supplies for his punishment. he simply whines behind you. “thank you...!” he says, eager that he’ll finally be touched, even if he’s super sensitive.

[tuancore]

Purple Hearts || {Part 1} :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst | Non-Idol AU, Disorder AU

Summary- I will continue to love you for as long as I'm breathing, but I won't let my love come in between your happiness.

*GIF not mine, credits to the owner*

Holding a bouquet of flowers you ran around the streets bumping into a few people, the bouquet so huge that you couldn't even properly see the road in front of you.

"I'm sorry!", You shouted after bumping into the fifth person, thankfully the sun has set otherwise all those people might form a communion and beat you in the middle of the road, taking a final turn, you ran even faster towards the venue.

"What took you so long?!" Someone called you from behind, siding the bouquet slightly you saw the person's face, a sarcastic smile adorning your face, "Ahh... Jackson Wang...Do you want me to slam these flowers on your head?".

"Of course not! Those flowers are looking perfect exactly where they are", He surrendered raising his hands, he examined your dress from head to toe, "You were running in a floor length dress?".

"I'm just gonna kill that Mushroom head!", You growled shoving the bouquet in Jackson's hands, "Woah, it's actually heavy, how did you even manage to carry it and run around", he praised you.

"Don't be so flattered, I've bumped into five people on my way, almost got hit by a pole three times, and even stumbled multiple times due to my heels", You huffed in annoyance.

"Life is hard I guess, I thought Yugyeom went to take the flowers?", He questioned.

"He backed off to flirt with girls, He's dead meat for sure once I find him", You said roaming your eyes in hopes for finding your good for nothing brother.

"I think I saw him around the drinks section—" That's what you needed to hear, lifting up your dress a little you walked away, "Jackson please take those flowers to my stupid friend I've to see my beloved brother, thank you...".

Standing a metre away from Yugyeom, you saw him standing in the centre with two girls surrounding him, one with blonde hair seemed to be too much immersed into the conversation or maybe into Yugyeom, she ran her well manicured nails on the fabric of his shirt. Another brunette had her arms linked with him.

A pure wave of disgust hitting you seeing your brother's not very well flirting skills, it was so clear from the body language of those girls that they wanted nothing but to get into your brother's pants.

You strode towards Yugyeom shoving the two girls, holding onto his collar harshly, "How dare you?! How dare you do this to me? To us?", You sniffed loudly, gladly the party had some loud music and busy people who weren't really paying any attention to your tantrums.

"W—What?" He stammered shocked to see you crying. The girls glared at you ready to claw your eyes out, but you faced them tears brimming in your eyes, they seemed to be taken back.

"Please don't get lured by him and his sugar coated words", You glared at him, "We dated for two years, even after being in a relationship with me he cheated on me with multiple other girls and when I told him that I was pregnant, he left me....", You sobbed hugging the blonde, "Please don't trust him, he's a player, top notch....".

"What the fuck are you saying n—", He yelled.

"See now he's mad at me because I revealed his true face....".

"Yugyeom, I'll see you later I think my mother is looking for me!", The blonde said, walking away while the brunette advised, "You shouldn't do that to a girl, she's so pretty why don't you just accept her and your baby".

"Wait!" He yelled but none of them turned back, "The fuck would you say something like that Noona!".

Wiping away your tears you scoffed, "I have every rights to do what I did I'm your elder sister, plus that's what you get for sending me to bring those flowers!".

"What?! Now because of your little revenge, I've lost the chances of actually being with someone", he grimaced staring at the girls from back. Smacking his head, you frowned, "I can't believe that you're my brother, your standard is so low. If nothing you want to date playgirls, eww Kim Yugyeom!".

"One orange juice please", Turning around you asked the bartender.

"So now we are talking about standards hm? Atleast I have guts to confess while on the other hand you don't even have the guts to confess to—", You hushed him pressing your palm to his lips, slowly shaking your head.

"Don't...Not today atleast...hm...", Your gaze turning utter soft. He nodded with a defeated sigh.

This party was thrown for no one else but your bestfriend to celebrate his success for starting his own company, and you didn't want anything to go wrong.

"Noona, Why is Jackson hyung roaming like a lost puppy with those flowers?" Yugyeom asked pointing at Jackson, his words made you choke on your drink.

Great! You forgot to tell Jackson where to actually bring that bouquet. Since those flowers holds a special place in your bestfriend's heart you had to bring it for him especially when today's such a fortunate day for him.

"You idiot those are not just flowers, those are those flowers which I asked you to bring and you ended up here to flirt with bitches", You rebuked glaring at your brother.

"Oopsie", Yugyeom giggled sipping on his cocktail bringing his free hand to catch his ears.

"I'll be back", You rushed towards Jackson grabbing the flowers from him, "Thanks Jackson, you're the best!".

Stepping inside the mansion, you climbed the stairs leading to the terrace in a hurry, You knew his mansion like the back of your hand, how can you not when you grew up playing in this place, "Damn these heels and damn the heaviness of the bouquet".

Panting heavily you managed to push open the door to the terrace, but you forgot to notice a marble piece ahead putting your foot inside you lost your balance, preparing yourself for a hard hit, you closed your eyes.

"Be careful", A pair of arms catching you few feet up from the surface, "You should see and walk, what if you get hurt?".

"Thanks for saving me again my savior", You chuckled picking the flowers from ground handing him, "And here you go with your purple roses".

"Thanks.....actually I want to show you something", He added, putting his hands on your shoulders guiding you towards a small table which was decorated with scented candles and flowers with two chairs, on four corners it had pillars with lightings, rose petals sprawled on the ground.

Your eyes lit up at the arrangement, everything looked so romantic and perfect, walking closely you inspected the entire set up, your eyes landing on a small red velvet box.

"I can't believe it that you did everything on your own, it's so beautiful!" You squealed in excitement, clapping your hands.

"I'm glad you liked it", He said, his hands shoved in his dress pants pockets, "It really took a lot in me to go this far".

Holding the velvety box, he opened it taking off a beautiful diamond ring from it, extending it towards you with a soft smile, eyeing the ring lovingly you declared, "It's so beautiful....".

"I know. Do you think Somi will like it?" He exclaimed with hopeful eyes. Holding his hands gently, you whispered "She'll love it".

"Do you think she'll say yes to me?", He smiled nervously locking eyes with you, searching for some hope.

"She'll say yes to you, trust me", You breathed, squeezing his hands lightly in a reassuring way with a gorgeous smile.

He grinned happily hugging you to his chest with his hand holding your head, your nostrils filling up with his cologne which always managed to drove you into frenzy, for a moment you didn't want him to let you go, his embrace being your safe place.

Gulping an invisible knot in your throat you pulled away from his embrace, "Look it's already 7:50....I must go... Somi might be here any moment, don't screw this up, be a man and get your girl".

You turned to leave but he held your wrist turning you over to face him again, You confusedly glanced where he was holding your hand.

"Thank you for bringing these purple roses, they're very special to me".

"I'm your bestfriend stupid, don't thank me for it".

Still with your wrist in his hands, he leaned over to pluck a purple rose from the bouquet, "Here.... to the most wonderful person in my life", he extended the rose for you to hold.

You could feel your eyes getting glossy as you stared at the rose and then at him, "Thank you", You mumbled taking the flower from his grasp.

"All the best Jinyoung".

Stumbling your way downstairs, you locked yourself inside the library, your tears finally streaming down your face, the purple rose in your hand making you sob harder.

This is it. This is where your heart ends, you finally gave the person whom you have loved all your life, your first friend, your only bestfriend, your first love and maybe the only person you'll ever love in your life, Jinyoung to someone else.

"One of us had to sacrifice and I can't see you getting heartbroken, so instead I'll give up on my love for you.... Jinyoung. Atleast one of us must get their love", You cried bringing the rose to your lips.

Part 2 | Master list |

______________________________________

(A/N :- Hey!! I'm back buds with another Jinyoung FF, I hope you're all gonna like it as well. Thank you so much and I'm quite excited myself! Weeeewoooo!!)

[kpopbabesss]

Ah, I haven’t posted on here in a little while and it’s nice to be back! Here’s a Poly!YugBam for my soul. - Pax

Genre: Fluff

YugBam x Neutral reader

The idea is that you guys are all college students, enjoy!

You met BamBam first 

You ran into him at the coffee shop , and he spilled iced coffee all over you

He mumbles sorry over and over again ad he hands you napkins and goes for more

To be honest it's not the biggest deal and you're telling him it's okay but he still feels really bad

So he buys you coffee

And you two talk quickly before he’s telling you has to get back to his friend and starts walking off and you two don’t really talk anymore than that 

But you go back to class and as you enter you’ve never noticed that you’ve in fact, been sharing a classroom with coffee boy, and never knew it 

He’s sitting next to some taller boy, talking and being insane and you’re so shocked cause that’s really not who you met at the coffee shop

BamBam looks over from his friend and his face drops almost right away as he spots you and his head falls as he laughs a little bit, tbh you can’t help but crack a smile too 

His friend looks more than confused, and he’s sitting with his legs like sticking out of the desk and looking between you two

So you walk over

BamBam greets you with a hello, and looks over at his friend who’s now shifted to looking over BamBam with his eyebrows raised.

“They’re someone I spilled coffee on.”

You sit near the two and basically learn that they’re absolute dorks

Also his friends name is Yugyeom, and he can be super loud and shy all at the same time. Also you learn BamBam’s name is in fact, BamBam.

Anyways after class you can hear BamBam talking about how he doesn’t understand all the info and so you butt in

You guys become study buddies ft. Yugyeom

Like seriously, Yugyeom is wherever BamBam is, it’s kinda like they’re attached at the hip

But when you guys study Yugyeom won’t listen

Like what is he doing? He’s just sitting there kind of looking a little confused

BamBam and you are insane though, and you swear you can easily “drive Yugyeom up the wall” but, he’s laughing at you the entire time

Soon study time together slips into watching TV together on the couch

All three of you can sit there and joke and laugh for hours

You’ve made Yugyeom fall off the couch before and it was so funny

There’s hardly a time where you hang out separately, and you’re known around your college campus as a trio

There’s a night though where the three of you are sitting on the couch, and man it had been cold outside

You’re sitting in the middle and can feel your shoulders vibrate a little bit with how cold you are

And so BamBam is the first to move in slightly closer, and you feel his side press against you

Yugyeom notices too, and out stretches his arm behind you, letting you snuggle in closer to his chest

And BamBam is on your chest now

You’re oddly enough blushing because you’ve never been this close with either of them, but it feels really nice

Yugyeom plays with your hair and that night he’s the first to fall asleep

Shortly after that it’s BamBam and you’re left to be awake with the sounds of them sleeping soundly

Yugyeom’s chest rises and falls so softly, and BamBam’s curled himself into a ball closer to your stomach

This happens every Friday now

They spend the night and all of you end up falling asleep on one another

Then things get a little spicy

All three of you end up getting drunk together because you stole some of Mark’s stuff

You guys aren’t supposed to be drunk, but it’s whatever

Yugyeom is so giggly, and he’s bent over laughing, his hands clapping together as he does so

BamBam is stuffing his face and dabbing and you have no idea what to do with yourself other than laugh

And in this foggy state of mind you find the both of them so adorable, I mean you’d thought of it sober, but the feeling was never this strong as you stared at Yugyeom’s bright red cheeks

And you lean over so your body is pressing against him and you kiss him on the cheek, but Yugyeom doesn’t stop there and goes to kiss your lips

That kiss is horrid but Yugyeom’s lips are like pillows

But you can’t leave out BamBam, so you turn yourself over, grab his face and give him a kiss directly on the lips, the smell of booze on both of your tongues

You swear you made out with both of them that night but you can’t remember

You just wake up snuggled between the two males, BamBam pressed against your back with his arm around your waist, and your face buried in Yugyeom’s chest

If you didn’t have the pounding headache you had, you might be able to fall back asleep but you’re confused and half awake

“Yugyeom.” You poke him in his side, and he groans slightly rolling over with his arm over his head, but at least you have room to slip from BamBam’s grip

Like the nice friend you are you get everyone a glass of water, and set it up on the small shitty desk because your dorms are shit

It doesn’t take BamBam long to get up and reach for his phone, in which he groans loudly and sits up. His hair is a mess.

Yugyeom is basically snoring but you and BamBam can’t even make eye contact so you know he remembers too

“I’m sorry.”

You tell him not to worry about it as you hand him the glass water but you help but shamefully enjoy the night before

And BamBam scoffs “I can’t believe I made out with you and Yugyeom”

Needless to say, you all work it out

And soon you have two boyfriends that both spoil the shit out of you

Like you’re getting a new stuffed animals or the test answers, or something from one of them

And they’ve basically moved into your dorm

You don’t even wear your own shirts, it’s only Yugyeom’s shirts and BamBam’s jackets that are a little to big for you

BamBam calls you his cats new parent, and you guys have shitty matching sweaters and cute insta posts

And send each other snapchats

Lots, of snapchats ;)))

Not only are they supportive of things you do, but are emotionally supportive of everything you do. These two never let you get sad or down on yourself. They love you very very much.

[bonvoyagenoona]

blackout | jjk

Pairings: Jungkook x female reader

Rating: 18+ | Mature | Explicit

Word Count: 16k | read on ao3

Synopsis: You’ve just been laid off, and all you want to do is eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget. Unfortunately, the neighborhood block party is tonight, and the festivities turn downright chaotic when the entire city loses power. Don’t fret, though. Jungkook will help take your mind off things for a while.

Genres | Content Warnings | Themes: Strangers to lovers, FLUFF with a capital FLUFF, Yugyeom makes an appearance, humor, comfort, smut (starts out with sweet, vanilla sex and masturbation, turns into biting, hickeys, fingering, oral sex [female receiving, male receiving], edging, protected vaginal sex, playful spanking, overstimulation, spitting), drinking / drinking games, drug use (weed edibles).

Preview:

Eyes wet with steaming, streaming tears, you let the bodies push you back.

Back to the elevator.

Back down to the lobby.

And back to the curb outside.

Where he looks up and finds your twisted, nauseated expression.

“Hey,” he says softly.

You didn’t see him when you stepped back onto the sidewalk. Even now, you only see him in parts.

Bent fingers clutch his hoodie’s drawstring, pulling left, then right. The denim of the jacket over it shifts slightly as he does. Full lips rest against each other lightly, an interrupted, absent-minded whistle reforming into more words.

“You dropped something.”

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Thanks and hope you enjoy!

What makes a good manager? Empathy? Organization? Know-how? Whatever mix of qualities, are they innate, or does it come from steadily and patiently rising through the ranks with your allies? Are good leaders born or made?

You don’t think you’ll ever be sure of what makes a good manager. But what you are definitely sure about is what makes a bad manager. 

Bad managers are the type of people who, when given a choice, elect to have you come in for your office job all week for your usual 8 to 5, and wait until Friday afternoon to inform you that you have been let go, even though they got the call from leadership on Monday morning.

You grumble as you shift your cardboard box of belongings to your other arm in order to make the last leg of your journey, every single one of your pores emptying twenty-fold their volume into the fibers of your polyester blend. Couldn’t you have been sacked in the fall? On top of having an additional couple of months to figure your shit out, you wouldn’t be drenched.

It’s 7 by the time you’re stomping around the corner to your block. There’s a family-sized bag of pita chips, a pail of hummus, and an edible patiently waiting for you.

If only there weren’t so many people blocking the way to your door.

Crumpled ghosts of flyers float past you. Their sans-serif font and centered alignment. The drawing of an old-school boombox with music spilling out of it. The date. The goddamned time. 

“Fuck,” you sigh, unable to hear even yourself under millennial R&B samples carrying Gen Z slang. 

Shoulders slumping, you try to trudge through the crowd that doesn’t part, draining energy quickly by the time you make your sixth and seventh attempt, even using the sharp corners of your box to try to snowplow your way through the increasingly drunken bodies that won’t feel any pain until the morning. 

Eyes wet with steaming, streaming tears, you let the bodies push you back.

Back to the elevator.

Back down to the lobby.

And back to the curb outside.

Where he looks up and finds your twisted, nauseated expression.

“Hey,” he says softly.

You didn’t see him when you stepped back onto the sidewalk. Even now, you only see him in parts.

Bent fingers clutch his hoodie’s drawstring, pulling left, then right. The denim of the jacket over it shifts slightly as he does. Full lips rest against each other lightly, an interrupted, absent-minded whistle reforming into more words.

“You dropped something.”

The Hulk bobblehead, given to you in celebration of getting this job in the first place, proves to be more lasting than your presence in the office. 

When you see it in a puddle by your feet, your heart sinks a little. 

And, ever-so-slightly, so does the box in your grip, as you jostle around to allow yourself to reach down and pick it up.

Before you can, though, bent fingers have let go of the drawstring and curl around The Hulk’s head instead. Green abs and purple shorts wiggle from its spring, despite what seems to be The Hulk’s unrelenting protest. 

You look up at the owner of those bent fingers, form crouched in front of you, still only able to perceive him in parts. Four wrinkles at the bridge of his nose. An amused smirk. 

“Ha ha!”

He studies The Hulk’s face, and his right brow falls into a slanted line in perfect mimicry.

“Raaawwrrr!” 

The Hulk’s body wiggles violently as bent fingers shake him back and forth. 

“HULK SMAAAASH!”

You don’t mean to smile. 

His smile is about to meet you too, but his eyes start to take up more space, widening at the sight of slightly shiny lines on your cheeks, carving your skin out like flowing rivers cutting through sienna rock.

“Hey! It’s OK!”

A sleeve rises into view. It moves in quick, small motions, back and forth. 

“Just gotta c-clean him up a little here and—” 

The Hulk suddenly grows ten times in size, now dangling on its spring, right in front of your face.

“See?? N-no harm done!!”

You sniffle.

Bent fingers gently set The Hulk back into the box, in a gap between your empty, gray mesh pen cup and your prized, powder blue stapler. 

You sniffle again. 

You love stapling. 

So final, so sure, that satisfying, crisp metal crunch!

You think you hear that crunch as this stranger’s bright eyes are putting it all together.

As are you, bits and pieces of this stranger now stitching together into a concerned but welcoming face, much too kind, and dangerously easy to open up to. Especially for someone in your state. 

Your fingers dig into your cardboard box.

“Thanks,” you say, relieved that your voice sounds so steady.

He lifts his eyes from the powder blue stapler and watches as you lift your upper arm to your right cheek. 

You dab your tears.

You frown at the sight of black streaks on your blouse. 

And then you startle at the feel of denim against your left cheek.

You watch as this stranger takes a step back.

The fact that he doesn’t seem to notice or care about the black streaks on his sleeve makes you care less about the black streaks on yours.

You feel a little lighter. From what it looks like, about three wisps of Pat McGrath FetishEyes lighter.

“Sorry,” he says, “I just—”

“No, that was… that was nice of you,” you say, starting to become impressed at just how steady your voice is. “Thank you.”

He nods. “Can I help you with anything else?” He holds his hands out a little, wrists coming out of his sleeves. “Take that box for you?”

“I’m good,” you say. 

He’s kind for softening his doubtful look, but his head tilt gives his thoughts away.

“Really,” you insist.

And you insist to yourself that you really don’t mean to smile. You’re surprised that you do. 

He mirrors it, his eyes following his lips, which follow yours, copying perfectly the slightly sad pout that you’re too aware that you’re making, and that tells him that his head tilt is absolutely warranted. 

“If you say so.”

Your smile fades a little as you look back down to the box, still in your grip, resting against your stomach. 

You look back up and watch as he curiously peruses the box’s content. 

“What is all this stuff?” he asks.

You look back over at the crowd now spilling out of your apartment building. 

“Um…”

Your brain is moving too fast, keeping you from being able to expand on the complexity of the matter. The words settling in the back of your throat are reduced to grade school-level syntax that matches the grade school-level emotions that you’re trying to hold at bay. 

This is all Desk Stuff. 

Desk Stuff belongs on a Desk. 

But you no longer have a Desk. 

You no longer even have an Office. 

Or a Job. 

And all you seem to be able to do about it, at least, for right now, is cry.

“Just… stuff.”

How is your voice still so steady when your stomach and chest are churning and burning, flip-flopping positions in your body in an attempt to escape this disaster?

To escape you?

He seems to realize now. There’s even a hint of — ugh — pity in his eyes. 

You want to explain that you’re stronger than this. It’s just that your Job, and your Office, and your Desk were so rare. Beautifully, wonderfully, hilariously rare. Just like your powder blue stapler is rare, and it’s even rarer to see it not at the ready under a mix of sunlight and fluorescent lighting but settled against hastily packed bits and bobs in a box open to the night air.

“You need to keep any of it?” he asks. 

The realization feels weirdly cold in your chest. “No,” you say.

“You want to keep any of it?”

You shrug. 

His head straightens suddenly. 

“Not even The Hulk??”

He looks so excited.

You really, really don’t mean to smile. You’re surprised that you do. That you still can.  

You even chuckle, softly, three tiny stops and starts of that steady, warm voice. 

“Why? You want him?”

“Well, y-yeah — he’s The Hulk!!”

You hold the box out and up to him. 

“Take him, then. Give him a nice home.”

Bent fingers wrap around The Hulk’s head. He lifts The Hulk out of the box and places it into the left chest pocket of his denim jacket, patting it caringly, for safekeeping. 

The Hulk’s eyes peek out at you over the lip.

“Now you pick something,” he tells you.

You look up from The Hulk’s eyes and stare questioningly into the eyes of this alarmingly kind stranger.

“You wanna keep at least one thing, right?” he asks. He peeks back down into the box. “Anything important? Or, just, y’know.” He looks back at you. “Special?”

You think again of the satisfying crunch of metal. 

And then you smile down at your powder blue stapler. 

You hug the box against your chest with one arm and pull the stapler out with your free hand. 

He smiles again, and claps his hands with glee.

The Hulk nods.

And, as you nod back, you catch a glimpse of the alleyway. 

Your gaze settles on the too-bright blue paint sadly used for something as putrid as a dumpster. 

Your feet take you there, and they, along with your calves, and thighs, and arms, and shoulders, and back, thank you immensely as you toss all the rest inside. 

That box looks so small now, amongst everything else. The longer you stare at it, you can’t even really see it anymore, as it gets lost in so many things that also don’t matter.

With your arms free, you get the impulse to pull your phone from your back pocket. But you don’t want to see the flurry of messages that are probably waiting for you.

Instead, you turn and walk back to the curb, where he is still standing and watching you. 

Your feet take you back to him, arm at your side, the stapler fold hanging off your finger, its handle and base taking turns swinging as you walk, powder blue grazing the side of your polyester-covered thigh. 

You stand in front of him, feeling so much lighter. 

“Uh, thanks,” you say. “Again.”

He smiles. 

Now that the weight is off of your shoulders, you can take in more. The sound of street traffic buzzing around you. Honks, and music, and chatter. 

The crowd around your apartment building has doubled if not tripled in size. 

“Live here?” he asks. 

You nod, and your shoulders sink. “But the block party completely slipped my mind.” You sigh and wonder how long it will take for the crowd to dissipate. “All I wanna do is eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget today ever happened.”

“What’s stopping you?” he asks. 

You furrow your brow and gesture to the drunken, obnoxious mass blocking your way in. 

“Just gotta fight your way through a little, is all,” he says. “C’mon!”

Instead of complaining about having to do anything other than what you want to, you figure that following this guy, with his broad frame, tall stature, and friendly face, will help you work smart and not hard.

So you follow him. 

He moves through the crowd with ease, swimming with the current, instead of fighting his way upstream. 

He offers you protection from the worst hits. Errant slaps and elbows here and there as people reach for each other. A near-collision with a keg stand. 

But people still cut in front of you. By the fourth or fifth instance, you wonder why this always happens when you’re in a crowd, or whether you can consider it a “cut” when you don't even seem to register on people’s radar.

You watch as his head bobs along, nearly out of sight. And then, when he’s too far away, you start to feel the tide turning again, pulling you back out into the vast ocean. 

You’re nearly all the way back by the lobby doors when his face pops out of the crowd. 

“Hey!” he exclaims. 

He throws his arm out, hand open, palm upturned. A life saver on a rope thick, straight, and strong.

You grab it.

You watch as his hand turns over and determinedly pulls you into him.

And you lock eyes briefly before he swirls you around and puts you in front of the crowd, daring you to meet it face-to-face.

He stands behind you but places his hands firmly on your shoulders.

You grip the stapler tight in your hand. 

And then, with his guidance, you start to move through the crowd. 

Part the crowd. 

It’s much easier than you thought. But you knew that. You used to do this all the time, without even thinking. Shoulders back. Hair tossed just so. Beaming with all the wise, unthreatened confidence that years of a magical mix of expertise and bullshit have bestowed upon you.

They, and he, bring you right next to the elevators, and, thinking this is it, you go to punch the button. 

But he steers you toward the stairs instead.

He leans down into you, pressing against your back, his lips brushing against your right ear. 

“Let’s go this way.”

The music and chatter is so loud that even though you feel his chest straining, it sounds like a whisper. 

You think about what’s waiting for you at home. 

The chips. The hummus. The last three squares of your weed-infused chocolates. All designed to help you settle your mind and forget about this whole, wretched day.

Then again, maybe there are other ways to forget.

You shove your powder stapler into your pocket and nod, but it doesn’t matter. He’s already angling you toward the stairs, and chases your steps as you both climb. 

You feel his hands slide down your shoulders, then arms, then into the crooks of your slightly folded elbows, your right hand still touting your stapler, your left hand not fully grasping but angled to feel along the railing so that you have something to hold onto if you trip over one of these people sitting on the steps.

He’s right by your side. Grabs hold of you to help keep you steady when someone suddenly moves to get up. When he lets you go at the top of the stairs, you're almost sad the building has elevators at all. 

“You know the Chans?” he asks.

You register the smell of egg rolls and dumplings and fries and cheese and sugar before you notice that the people who happen to be on this floor are too busy stuffing their faces to really talk. It’s quieter here. Thankfully.

“No,” you mumble, as he walks next to you, moving in lockstep down the hall and slightly to the right. “I don’t really know anybody else in the building.”

“Just moved in?”

“Been here three… wait… four?” You grimace. “Years?”

His eyebrows rise at the speed with which his own mother would race a cake over to every new neighbor on their street. 

“I’ll introduce you!” he says, swinging around you and standing perpendicular to your path to let you know that this next, slightly ajar door will lead you to The Chans. 

He knocks on the door. 

It opens, suddenly, and fully, and a woman grins happily at the both of you before settling into his warm, eager gaze. 

“Jungkook-ah,” she chides playfully, “I told you to come as soon as the party started! We’re already almost out of—”

He — or, well, Jungkook, apparently — rushes inside the apartment toward the kitchen, leaving you standing there in the hallway. 

The woman turns to you, still carrying fondness in her eyes. “Hi!”

“Hi,” you say, as pleasantly as you can. 

The woman takes in the sight of you, though she frowns when she looks down by your hip.

“Is… that… a stapler in your pocket?” 

Your brain starts to move too fast again. 

Desk. Office. Job.

But then she giggles. 

“Or are you just happy to see me?”

Jungkook mumbles something resembling an introduction after you follow “Miff-iff Cham” through the busy, glowing living room and into the kitchen. 

“Did you even think to get your friend a drink??” Mrs. Chan asks, reaching not for the plenty of plastic flatware but into the cupboards for a porcelain bowl. 

Jungkook mumbles something else, a chomped egg roll raised to his lips, cheeks bulging out, and a bit of fried wrapper sticking out of the corner of his mouth. 

“This boy,” Mrs. Chan laughs, shaking her head. “He devours everything in sight!” As she talks, she walks down the line of her counter, scooping up a bit of everything from her various pots and pans and plopping it into your bowl. “If we didn’t feed him real food, he’d eat garbage off the street! Like one of those fat pigeons!”

Jungkook protests, still unintelligible, but wounded, and passionate, given that flakes of egg roll wrapper fly out of his mouth. 

“Please, Jungkook, you’re so sensitive! Have you seen you?” Mrs. Chan says with a roll of her eyes. “Although, if you keep inhaling these egg rolls…”

She softens at Jungkook’s worried expression.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you fat. I just meant— Ugh, what else eats tra— Like a raccoon, then. How’s that, huh? Jungkook-ah? My little fluffy, sneaky, grabby-hands raccoon?”

Mrs. Chan shoves the now-full bowl into your open hands and makes grabby-hands with her own, pinching his full cheeks, cooing more… weird?... but sweet, raccoon-based compliments at him, which makes him smile happily, and close his eyes at her caring touch. 

You bring the bowl up to your face and breathe in the mouth-watering scent of all of this delicious, home-cooked, made-with-love morsels of amazing food.

For once today, someone has served you a pile of nothing but goodness.

You smile gratefully and take the chopsticks that Mrs. Chan gives to you. And then you take your place next to Jungkook, backs to the sink, both of you leaning back slightly as you eat. 

“Now, I didn’t catch your name,” Mrs. Chan tells you, stirring a spoon into one of the pots. 

As you finally say it, you can’t help but feel Jungkook paying you close attention — such close attention, mind you, that you swear he’s nearly pressing his smile onto your cheek.

“I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself,” you go on, flashing a look at Jungkook before adding, “I’ve just been so busy…”

Desk. Office. Job.

The rest of the sentence that you were going to say travels down your throat like the unchewed walnut that slipped by. 

You cough. Clear your throat the best you can. And pick up what you can recover.

“…at work.”

“Ah, well, whatever! I’m happy we get to meet now,” Mrs. Chan says lightly.

The air with which she says it. So ethereal. It makes you feel a little better.

“I’m Chan Jia,” she goes on, “and my husband Feng and I have lived here pretty much all our lives, and, uh, we really like to cook! Even when half the city isn’t on our doorstep.”

Your eyes hang wide. “You’re amazing at it,” you say, through cheeks fuller than Jungkook’s. “The walnut chicken in particular is, mmm, god, so good.”

Mrs. Chan beams with pride. “Glad you like it! And that you came so hungry.”

More people spill into the Chans’ living room, and Mrs. Chan reaches for some of the paper plates and plastic flatware. 

“Get her something to drink, Jungkook-ah!”

He nods obediently and yells out an earnest, “Thank you!”

You scarf down the last bite in your bowl and start to calculate what seconds you want — definitely the walnut chicken, and maybe the lo mein — when Jungkook sticks a fresh egg roll in your face. 

“C’mon!”

He stuffs the egg roll into your mouth and takes your empty bowl from your hands, setting it in the filling kitchen sink. 

He takes your right wrist and tugs on it, leading you back out to the hall. 

You bite down on the egg roll and catch the other half in your left hand, grumbling, “I wasn’t done!” as you desperately try to chew and get the delicious pork filling and perfect golden crackles down your gullet. 

“Oh, sorry,” Jungkook says. “Seemed like you were.”

“Well!” You raise your left hand and bite into the second half. “I wasn’t!”

“Well, your bowl was empty, and you emptied it kinda fast, like, shockingly fast, so I thought it was time for dessert—”

You polish off the egg roll as your feet plant themselves in place. “What is this? Who even are you anyway??”

He smiles. “I’m Jungkook!”

“Yeah, caught that,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “Seriously, though! I don’t really know who you—”

Someone splits the two of you, excited to bring one of two waffle ice cream cones to someone downstairs.

“—w-who you are, or if you even live here,” you continue, watching as they round the corner, jogging down the steps with what looks like pistachio ice cream in one hand and some kind of chocolate in the other. 

You turn back to Jungkook. 

“And all these people? I don’t know who they are, and I just really—”

“But now you know Mrs. Chan,” Jungkook says, “and I guess by extension you kinda know Mr. Chan. There was a photo of him on the left wall by the—”

A group of young girls giggle as they exit one of the other apartments on this floor, each of them carrying baskets of freshly baked cookies.

Jungkook playfully yoink! s a couple from the last girl’s basket, and she teasingly slaps Jungkook’s arm as he feigns pain. 

They laugh at each other, and then, he wiggles his eyebrows and nods upward. 

“Oppa!” she whines.

He brings his shoulders up to his earlobes and wiggles his eyebrows even harder.

She rolls her eyes and hands him two more cookies, and she scurries to rejoin her group.

You glare at him.

He blinks at you. Pushes out his lips. 

“So…”

He holds out his arm.

“Is it time for dessert?”

You frown.

He wiggles the cookie around.

“Huuuuuh?”

Begrudgingly, you snatch the cookie that he’s offering.

Chocolate chip with toffee chunks and gooey caramel in the center.

It’s goddamn incredible.

“Is everyone on this floor a chef?!” you exclaim in surprise, crumbs flinging from your lips.

Jungkook looks up at the ceiling again as he counts. His unfolding pinky denotes The Chans in 2A, duh. His ring finger counts the Jeups and their three lovely daughters in 2D. His middle finger stands for the Gal brothers and their new ice cream machine, or, well, old ice cream machine, since their shop got the new one—

“Kinda, actually,” Jungkook answers, looking back at you, still counting the others in his head while holding the three other cookies between his thumb and index finger. “Although I guess the Jeups and the Gals are more… bakers? But I don’t think you say that for ice cream.” 

He plumps his bottom lip, chin wrinkling. 

“What do you call someone who makes ice cream for a living?”

You roll your eyes as you polish off your cookie.

“Hey, I thought we were doing it?” he asks. “Shoot. Maybe I’m doing it wrong?”

“Doing what?”

“What you wanted to do.”

Toffee and chocolate are swirling together heavenly in your mouth, but you keep glaring at him. You layer more fire into it. Frown harder. Scowl meaner. If you look angry enough, maybe he’ll give you a second cookie out of fear, and you don’t have to admit how boggled you are.

“You said that all you wanted to do was eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget,” Jungkook recalls. “So we’re taking care of the eating part.”

You pull back a little on the glare. 

“I would’ve appreciated getting to eat more of that walnut chicken.”

Jungkook’s eyes and grin thin out. 

“We can go back. Or…?”

He holds out another cookie to you.

Which you slowly take.

And in return, you let go of the glower.

You turn the cookie over in your hands. Raise it to your lips.

Jungkook nods encouragingly.

You take a bite.

Peanut butter. With little chocolate candies. That are also filled with peanut butter.

Your pesky smile makes another reappearance.

“Now,” Jungkook says triumphantly, biting into two cookies at once and recalling, “Mrs. Chan said,” as he gets those cookies down to half-size with his huge bites, “ god this is fucking good,” smacking as he talks, “to get you a drink. So c’mon!”

He holds out his hand again. Devoid of any cookies.

You take it anyway.

And he leads you to the elevator.

“Can I get a copy of the itinerary?” you ask, puzzled by all your traipsing. 

Jungkook drums on the elevator doors with his knuckles before giving the right one a slap and pushing the call button. “It’s just block party physics,” he explains. “You saw all those kegs and coolers when you came in, right?”

You nod.

“Gotta keep beer on the ground floor. Nice way to say hi to people. And nobody wants to lug all that shit up all these floors. But people are doing stuff in their apartments, too. More drinks, and food, and games.”

You take a second to take Jungkook in from toe to head. White, worn sneakers, with blue details. Baggy pants. Thin, white hoodie. Denim jacket. Fluffed hair, crinkled and thin eyes, wrinkled nose, and an easy, big smile. Like he’s just hanging out at home.

“Party physics,” you repeat.

The elevator doors open, and you both step in, Jungkook leaning against the railing in the back, and you facing him with a smirk.

“Of which you just happen to be a scholar?”

Jungkook grins. “That, and, uh…”

He gestures to one of the flyers on the elevator bulletin board behind you. It’s not as crumpled as the ones that blew by you earlier. But it is drooping, the tape holding up its top two corners having lost its stickiness over the past few weeks.

You smooth the paper out.

And then you reach into your pocket.

For your powder blue stapler.

You staple each corner into the cork, and you see what Jungkook is talking about. Below the boombox drawing and general details is a whole spreadsheet of details. A murder mystery party on floor twelve. A dance party on floor seven. Karaoke on floor six. Movies on floor eight. 

Nothing on floor nine. You’re one of just a few people who live there. That floor doesn’t get great light, or a great view, facing the north, ignored side of the block. But that doesn’t matter to you. You like it quiet. That’s why you’re all there.

For some reason, you feel a little sick at the thought of riding up to floor nine.

So you’re grateful that you stop, for now, on floor five.

It boasts a crowd just a tad smaller than the one on the first floor, but the energy seems easier. Lively, but less brash.

When Jungkook sees your relieved smile, he takes it as a sign that he’s doing something right.

“Where should we start?” he asks, looking around at all the open doors. As you re-holster your stapler, his head darts left and right, checking your reaction with each option he presents.

“Board games! Ooh, OK, ‘ya seem to like that. We’ll put that on the list. We could also check out that poker game, which we passed back there. And there’s—”

You pull Jungkook’s arm toward you with such force that his nose bumps into your cheek. You laugh together, your eyes shining a bit brighter.

“That.”

You point.

“I wanna do that.”

Given your professional, cool-toned business separates; your seemingly strategic nature; your, quite frankly, super uptight vibe; and the way your eyes initially widened at the proposal to join the board game room, Jungkook wouldn’t have pegged you as someone who had even a passing interest in drinking games. Especially flip cup.

Yet, here you are, standing on top of Kim Yugyeom’s mother’s old kitchen table, the front of your blouse stained with sangria, and both of your hands victoriously pumping two empty, crushed plastic cups into the air.

Funny how the thing that always kept you from playing flip cup was the beer.

And you were extraordinary. How you downed each drink. How, like your voice has been so far this evening, you were able to stay so composed. How that gave you such an advantage with each flip. How everyone in the room cheered you on, shocked by how you hadn’t stuttered on a single cup. How Jungkook almost caught up, but you were able to rally and down two more full cups of sangria than you probably should have.

“Howwwww have I not plaaaaayed this gaaaaame before?!” you ask, delirious from your winner’s rush. And maybe the sangria.

“You haven’t?!” a laughing Yugyeom adds, as he helps you down from his table. “Would’ve thought you were a pro!”

A little unsteady on your feet, and happily so, you lean into him, melting at his strong form and touch before pouring into one of the chairs nearby.

“Alright there, champ?” Yugyeom chuckles.

He watches you wiggle happily in your seat, one strong wiggle forcing you to lean a bit too much to the right. 

“Haha, fuck, let me get you some damn water!”

Jungkook lands in the chair next to you, propping you up and giggling at your blissful humming. 

Your eyes meet his. “Oh, what’s this?” You raise your left hand up. “Hmm?” Your palm grazes the tip of his nose, and your eyes widen with excitement, as his widen to try to find out what’s wrong with your hand. 

“Oh!” you smile.

Equally thrilled and perplexed, Jungkook moves to give you a high five?

But you dodge him with a grin. 

“Uh-oh!” 

Your wrist goes slack. Delighted, you do an arm wave, letting it flow through up to your shoulders, through to your trunk, and onwards to your other arm, which flows up and around from your side and around, down your opposite shoulder and through your forearm, fingers gathering to a point and tipping back Jungkook’s open forehead.

Jungkook lets out a spirited laugh that perks up your spine.

As you watch with interest, he furrows his brow and opens his mouth in fake offense. His head bobs forward, and he lets the wave travel throughout his entire body, each muscle isolation smoothing into the next. 

He gets up and starts to dance, suddenly going rigid as he starts to pop and lock, hips moving with more precision than you would have anticipated, his baggy clothes suddenly looking sharp, his body halving, and The Hulk slipping out a little, bobbling along with him. 

Yugyeom rejoins you, and him, cheering and catching the wave in his chest from Jungkook’s lightning rod of a hand and letting it travel through his black hoodie-covered torso, down to his legs, the frayed rips of his light blue jeans swaying as his muscles take turns relaxing and constricting, traveling back up to his other arm, and down to the hand that is holding two water bottles: one for Jungkook, and one for you.

You giggle and shiver as Yugyeom places the cold plastic against your neck, fingers grazing his as you take over the grip of the bottle.

This is… nice.

“What else can we play??” you ask brightly, letting the bottle linger for a moment before lifting it, and unscrewing the cap. “What other games are there?”

“Should probably slow down on the drinking ones,” Jungkook rightfully decides, as you start to slump again.

He takes a step back to you, and your left cheek rests on his right hip.

Feeling so comfortable, you close your eyes for a moment, missing Yugyeom’s intrigued smirk, and Jungkook’s helpless nose scrunch.

“Leaving so soon?” Yugyeom asks, tossing him the other bottle.

Jungkook looks down and notes your hazy, unfocused eyes, as well as your clumsy fingers still working at the water bottle cap. 

“After this water break.”

“Well, swing by again later,” Yugyeom tells you, as your eyes flutter open. “I need to avenge my humiliated friend here. Or get the chance to, at least.”

Jungkook pouts. “Humiliated?”

“Only Jungkook can save himself,” you say, much too haughty for someone who has taken about thirty whole seconds to open a water bottle, “but depending on how tonight goes, I might take you on as another trophy. I mean victim. I mean opponent.”

Yugyeom shakes his head at your self-assuredness, looking over at Jungkook to see if he’s clocking this, and finding he’s only chuckling as you close your eyes and eagerly drink.

“Where’d you find her?” Yugyeom asks, as Jungkook looks back at him.

“Obviously by the dumpsters, given all the trash talk,” Jungkook jokes.

You choke on your water and laugh, the back of your hand rising to your lips as you open your eyes again and catch your breath.

“No, really,” Yugyeom goes on, smiling at you and shoving his hands into his back pockets, chest puffing out with a relaxing breath. “You live on the block?”

You point up at the ceiling. “Ninth floor.”

“The hermit floor?” Yugyeom asks, surprised.

You left your left shoulder from Jungkook’s hip and tilt your head toward it. “I crawled out of my cave today. And saw Jungkook on the curb.”

Yugyeom looks over at Jungkook again, who just smiles. 

He meets Jungkook’s smile with a pleased chuckle.

“I mean it. Come back later. I still wanna hang.” He narrows his eyes at you and wiggles his eyebrows. “I want a go with the resident flip cup champ.”

You wink at him as you bring the water bottle back to your lips. 

Before Yugyeom takes his leave, he reaches out his hand, slightly dampened from the condensation on those ice-cold water bottles, to Jungkook. Their right hands clasp together, and they bring their right shoulders forward to one another, chests bumping together tightly. 

Yugyeom slaps Jungkook’s back.

He mumbles something.

Jungkook scoffs with a grin.

And then they part, Yugyeom flashing you another smile before he heads back toward his kitchen table.

Jungkook crouches down and wipes his hand on his thigh. You watch his fingers spreading across. His palm rubbing down toward his knee, and then back up again.

“Oh my god,” he says. 

You straighten and snap your eyes to his, feeling caught. “What??”

“I think you’re…”

Jungkook shoots you an open-mouthed, told-you-so smile. 

“…having fun??”

“Absolutely not,” you say, trying your best to sneer.

“You’re smiling!” Jungkook taps his finger on your cheek. 

You swat his hand away, giggling and thinking fondly of him teasing those three girls with the cookies. You haven’t really stopped smiling since.

“You’re laaaugh-iiiiing!”

You roll your eyes. “So what if I am?”

Jungkook watches as you screw the water bottle’s cap back on and set it down, next to the right leg of your chair.

“Are you?” he asks gently. “H-having fun?”

He wants you. 

To have fun, that is. 

He wants you to have fun because you so clearly hadn’t earlier that day. He’s good at fun. At least, he’s always thought he is. In much the same way that Mrs. Chan is good at walnut chicken, and the Jeups are good at cookies, and the Gal brothers are good at ice cream. 

He’s always thought that he’s been good at fun. Things have gotten a little busier, as life does. He hasn’t talked to as many people in a while. He definitely hasn’t gotten to swing by Yugyeom’s nearly as often, and he’s missed his check-ins with Yugyeom’s wonderful neighbors. While standing out there on the curb, peering up at your building, he wondered if he’d changed.

But, if you’re having fun, given the day that you’ve had, then that means he hasn’t.

He’s still good at fun.

Maybe if you knew this was kind of about him, it wouldn’t feel so strange for someone to want you to have fun when just a couple of hours ago, the bubble of your perfectly pleasant life burst at the discovery that people who celebrated your birthday, who clinked drinks with you at happy hour, who left you funny sticky notes on your desk, who shared the load when work got overwhelming — people who were supposedly invested in you — didn’t actually care all that much.

Do you even deserve it? Fun? When you are so easily discarded? 

Jungkook clearly deserves it. He’s only just met you, by some dumpsters no less, and he’s still, inexplicably, trying so hard.

You feel your heavy heart pulling you under.

But then, you catch sight of The Hulk tucked into Jungkook’s pocket.

“I am.” You grin. “I am having a lot of fun.”

He brightens. Sits a little taller.

“Good!” His eyes close nearly all the way, and his two front teeth bunch up his lips. “I knew you were.”

He jumps to his feet. “Feeling up to more games? Maybe those board games?”

The sangria is starting to catch you, mixing with the swirl of emotions bogging down your heavy, heavy heart. You need to do something to let it out.

“Which floor had the karaoke?” you ask. “Six?”

“Quit hogging the mic!” 

You spin around and scream the next lyrics at this surly, thin-lipped man, mashing whatever he can into a lour look of extreme disapproval. 

The next part of this song is iconic, and masterful. You know each of the vocal parts in the lush swell of the breakdown, but this occasion calls for the throughline, the main melody, to drive the point home.

“NEVER GONNA GET IT NEVER GONNA GET IT!” you belt, pointing at Thin Lips, shimmying as you dance around him in a circle. 

“NEH! VER GONNA GET IT NEVER GONNA GET IT!”  

You put a resonant sting on the syncopated quarter notes that carry into the next measure, tapping your toes on each eighth-note of this manifesto. 

“NEH!!! VER GONNA GET IT NEVER GONNA GET IT!”  

Exaggerating even more, you pull your lips into a mocking pout, and you descend down the harmonic scale. 

“NEHHHH-VER GONNA GET IT—”

Brazen, and drawing a bit of power from the room clapping and laughing around you, you grab the handle of your stapler, aim it at Thin Lips’ cleft chin, and clap the hammer against the anvil on each note. 

“WOO-WOO-WOO-WOOOOOOO!!!!”

“THE FUCK—”

“Shik.”

You aren’t sure when Jungkook got up from his seat on the Hans-in-6F’s couch, but now, he’s next to you, arms folded, chest slightly bouncing from holding in his laughter.

Thin-lipped Shik glares at him, and you start circling around Jungkook instead, singing the second half of the breakdown a little softer, but swaying your stapler in the air.

Jungkook’s eyes, which have been following you this whole time, spread out to the rest of the room, everyone chanting and clapping along. “We’re all having a good time.”

“She’s sung like a hundred songs!” Shik protests. “I want a turn!”

At the whiff of vodka that follows, Jungkook negotiates, “One more song, alright?” 

He speaks kindly, with the kind of smile that people born with goodness and light at their core can share. But he puffs himself up when he says it. He unfolds his arms, and his chest inflates. He flexes his right hand. Just in case.

Shik sighs. “Fine. But make it something pleasant. She’s been screaming for the past hour.”

He takes Jungkook’s seat on the couch, seemingly discontent unless he’s taking things from other people. 

But it’s fine. The energy is dissipating anyway, En Vogue starting to decrescendo and queue up your next show-stopping performance.

“Hey.” Jungkook’s unflexed right hand lands softly on your shoulder. “Diva.”

You turn and smile at him.

“Wanna do one last song?”

Panting, and jamming your stapler back into your pocket, you slow your dancing feet to a mere sway, pouring your weight to the left, then to the right.

“OK,” you say, mind starting to wander, “but let me pick something different.” Your eyes widen a bit. “Would you wanna sing something with me?”

Jungkook beams. “Yeah!” 

As you scroll through your private YouTube playlist of karaoke faves, he stands a little closer. Looks over your shoulder with curiosity. Giggles softly when your thumb tugs at ones that he likes, too.

He smells good.

“Ooh!”

You startle back at his sudden exclamation and bump into his chest. 

And he just lets you.

“You, uh, know this one ?” you ask, thumb hovering over a picture of two silhouettes.

“I love that one.”

“Me too.”

A shared glance between you tells you how much.

Jungkook hums. “Then start us off.”

Growing up, you’d wished that the karaoke industry would work faster. Churn out more microchips that held more than just the 70s and 80s ballads that your family sang in the same rotation at every holiday, birthday, christening, graduation, wedding, hell, every Saturday morning, while you each took charge of scrubbing a different part of the house… 

Nowadays, karaoke versions of songs aren’t hard to find. Literally every song is essentially at your fingertips. But with every song at your fingertips, it’s becoming harder and harder to find people who know what you know. Like what you like.  

As Jungkook reaches for the other mic, still charging on its base, you play the instrumental.

And you raise your mic to your mouth.

“I keep so much of me hidden. Can’t lie. No, I’ve got this pain inside. Most times I never admit it. But with you, no, I don’t want to hide.”

Jungkook bites his lip as you sing. You aren’t the most gymnastic singer, but you have such a pleasant voice. And he’s not the only one who thinks so. A hush has fallen over the entire room, and even Shik is captivated by the way you’ve softened the air around you. 

“What’s there all the time. And weighs on my mind. My friends say they listen. But honestly, I don’t think that they get me like you do. You don’t have to try. I come unfolded with the things I hold inside. I have never told no one but you.”

How long have you been singing? Has it been an hour? Two?

Maybe people don’t tire of you as easily as you thought.

Your heart feels a little lighter.

And you let Jungkook fill the space that remains.

“When I’m with you, I feel different.”

In just one line, you discover that if Jungkook’s voice were a drink, it would be a toasted marshmallow mocha. If Jungkook’s voice were a feeling, it would be your bare legs meeting the backseat of the car on a tempered summer day. If Jungkook’s voice were a hand, it would cup your cheek and hold your face up to make sure you didn’t miss the sight of a falling star. 

“Like I can’t just be your warmness, oh baby…”

His vocal runs are hurdles and sprints and marathons in equal turns, voice strong and whole as he dips in and out of notes and syllables, playing with time, and tickling your lighter, and lighter, and even lighter, heart.

“I’ve been through some tough things in my life. And it’s so easy to tell you.”

You believe him.

You believe him so strongly that you almost miss your cue to join him again at the chorus, singing an octave apart, matching him note for note, voice bending and gliding a little easier. Freer.

But then everything just stops.

The music. Your voices. The energy.

It all comes to a halt.

Other voices start to overlap. Curses, and concern.

A small circle of bright, invasive light appears. And then another. And another.

They catch people in slices.

Frowns. Fists. 

Eyes. No two sets meeting.

Except, somehow, yours and Jungkook’s.

“Everyone OK?” someone asks, as more and more tiny spotlights rove around the room. 

“Apparently it’s the whole building!”

“The whole block?”

“Look out the window!”

“Yeah, it’s the whole city!”

Whines start to fill the room. Then groans. Then yells.

“Fuck,” you hear Jungkook whisper, “people are gonna lose it pretty quickly.”

You feel a hand grab yours and yank you toward them.

“It’s me.”

But you knew that.

And now you know that the center of his body, the notch where his pecs and the top of his abs meet and surrender to one another, seems to be a perfect spot for your hand to rest. And your hand resting there makes up for all the blows that your feet and shins and hips take as you fight your way through the distressed crowd.

“Door.”

You don’t see or feel it. Jungkook’s already holding it open for you, leading you through by jutting out his chest and letting you know where he is, which is right there, still curved around your hand.

His hand leaves yours and slides down your side, circling around your back, incidentally following the line of the band of your bra. His forearm pins you to him, and you feel your body bending with his as he shuffles you through to the hall. His chin rests on the top of your head, and your temple cushions against his collarbone.

Baby powder.

Bodes beat against your back, and you take in a sharp breath, your fingers balling into fists. One hand is still safely settled into that notch below Jungkook’s chest. Your other arm is pressed to your side, hugged by Jungkook’s armpit, your hand swinging down and closing around—

“Wait, shit, I’m still holding the mic?”

“It’s OK,” he tells you. “Everything’s OK.”

But something catches his attention.

“Deji?!”

You feel Jungkook’s chest tighten around your fist.

“Deji!!”

“Mr. Jeup?” Jungkook calls out, hoping his voice can meet hers despite the building wails.

“Jungkook-ah?”

“Yes, it’s Jungkook!” 

The collective spotlights help Jungkook and Mr. Jeup find each other across the hall, and Jungkook leads him, and you, to a spot close to the staircase railing.

Mr. Jeup has soaked through the collar of his shirt.

“I can’t find Deji,” he says breathlessly. “I’d already been looking for her for a couple of hours, but she got separated from her unnies—” He clicks his teeth. “Always trailing behind.”

You think of the sweet girl slapping Jungkook’s hand away from her basket of cookies.

“We’ll find her.” 

From what you can tell, Jungkook’s voice is enough to reassure Mr. Jeup, as the slices of him that you get look more and more relieved. 

“Go home and check in with Mrs. Jeup and the girls,” Jungkook tells him. “My friend and I will go up floor by floor. I’ll text you the moment I see her.”

Mr. Jeup shakes his head. “We should’ve just gotten her a phone. Like she wanted.”

“She won’t be far. She knows your rules.” A slice of light catches Jungkook’s smile, as fond as when he had exchanged those cute giggles with her earlier. “And, though it might not seem like it, she always follows them.”

Mr. Jeup nods. “Thanks, Jungkook. Let me know.”

Shades of Mr. Jeup make their way along the railing, following it carefully as he makes his way back downstairs.

“I’ll formally introduce you another time,” he says apologetically.

Jungkook can’t be so hospitable, or demented, to be thinking about a formal introduction in this fraught situation. 

But then you think of how he and Deji teased each other. Their familiar, funny way. How she gave him four cookies as a treat.

Or a payment.

A placid smile spreads across your face. “You know where she is, don’t you?”

Jungkook chuckles.

“C’mon.”

“When will it come back on??”

“We wanna watch!”

“It was just about to get to the good part!”

“Give it a few more minutes,” a voice, more mature than the others, calls out. “Give the backup generators a little bit of time to kick in.”

“They’re not going to,” another older voice says in response. “It’s been too long. I’m betting they’re down as well.”

“Stop it!” the first hisses. “You’ll scare them!”

As predicted, the younger voices start to clamor.

“What??”

“So when will the power come back on?”

“I’m getting hot!”

“Me too! I’m starting to sweat!”

“Eeeewww!”

“Helloooooo!” 

Jungkook calls brightly from the hallway through the opening door, slowly revealing a group of kids in the living room, and a couple on the couch, outlined against a soft half-sphere of candlelight. 

“Yon! Yeo!”

“Jungkookie!”

The woman on the left jumps up from the couch, and the woman on the right just nods.

You sigh softly when, in the center back of the group of kids, all of them lying on top of each other, having kicked off their blankets and facing a blank, white bed sheet hanging on a cleared clothing rack, you see Deji, sitting with her legs criss-crossed.

And next to a boy.

Jungkook lets go of your hand, but not without glancing at you to make sure it’s OK to.

You smile and nod, lingering in the doorway and watching him tiptoe in the gaps between squishy, teeny arms and legs to crouch down next to Deji, and this boy.

Deji gives Jungkook a high five, and you smirk to yourself as he pulls his phone out from his back pocket, sighing with relief as he starts to type.

The woman who waved gets up and walks over to you, leaning on a bookshelf by the door and folding her arms.

“I’m Yon,” she replies. “And that’s Yeo.” 

She jerks her thumb behind her.

Staring straight ahead, Yeo takes another sip of wine.

You introduce yourself and say, “Did you set this up for the kids?”

Yon nods. “Toy Story 3. We were almost at the incinerator scene.”

Your eyes pop open, and you look over to the kid who cheered about the scene earlier. 

“That was the good part??”

Yon cackles and says, “Seojun over there has a dark sense of humor.” 

The other kids have successfully been distracted, settling into other lively conversations, giggling and playing games with each other, and with Jungkook. 

But Seojun quietly breaks free from the group and makes her way to the couch. She plops down next to Yeo, the two of them chatting quietly. 

Yon watches them affectionately. “So does Yeo. Kindred spirits, those two.”

They look so serious. But there are moments. Eyebrow flickers. Chuckles. And, throughout, a warm smile of recognition of something deeper. A somewhat somber but understanding of the world around them. 

Seojun pauses. Stumbles. Gets whatever she wants to say out. Yeo seems to ponder it, and then says something back. Then, Seojun and Yeo look away from each other, and Yeo strokes her hair once as Seojun hides a smile.

You didn’t realize how many kids lived in the building. But you’re usually out before they’re up, and back in long after they’re asleep.

“Kind of you to host something kid-friendly.”

“To be honest, these have kind of been little test runs.” 

Yon’s voice is cautious and small, but happy. 

“We want to adopt,” she admits. 

Her eyes are pillowy soft as they scan over those tiny, laughing faces. 

“The kids around here are so sweet. Good families. Good parents. They don’t judge. And they’ve given us so many smiles. It’d be nice to share our lives like this all the time. Especially with a little one who really needs it.”

You can feel how momentous Yon’s heart must be. Her words surround you. Inflate you. Lift you up.

“Well,” you sigh, impressed, and a little sheepish, at her outpouring of love, “the little ones who get to join your family are quite lucky.”

Yon lets out a deep, encouraged sigh. “Thanks for that. Nice to hear something positive, y’know? It’s been… hard.”

You regretfully agree.

“Anyway,” Yon replies, “how do you know Jungkook? Are you friends with Yugyeom, too? That’s how we met him.”

“I, um—”

Desk.

Office.

Job.

“Well, I just met him today.” You blink. You can’t believe you just met him today.

Yon smiles, recognizing your dazed look. 

“He makes quite an impression, doesn’t he?”

Your eyes land on him as he grins and throws up a peace sign while taking a picture with Deji, and laughing with the boy, who is starting to take interest in The Hulk bobblehead in Jungkook’s pocket. 

“I’ve known him since he was a skinny teen,” Yon reflects. “His parents used to own this building, but they sold the property when they retired. He’s still here all the time, though.” 

She smiles.

“It’s been a little while since we’ve gotten to see him. But it’s always so nice when we do. He just makes things… better.”

Jungkook notes the boy’s gaze, and his bent fingers reach into that pocket to pull The Hulk’s head out, flashing The Hulk’s cute little grimace, to Deji and the boy’s delight. 

But when the boy reaches out for it, Jungkook frowns and leans back, not letting the boy take The Hulk out of his pocket completely, choosing instead to close the flap of his pocket over The Hulk’s black eyes, tapping the pocket in thanks for safekeeping. 

You giggle.

Maybe that’s the secret to Jungkook.

To all of this.

Being a kid at heart.

Yes, things have been hard.

Things are hard.

But they haven’t been hard just today. And not just for you. Or Yon and Yeo. Or Shik. Or Mr. Jeup. Or any of the people in your building, on your block, in this city. 

Everyone is shuffling around, lost in the dark. 

But it isn’t your fault.

It isn’t anyone’s fault.

Maybe that’s just how it is sometimes. 

Maybe that’s how it is all the time.

There’s always more that you could do to fight against the darkness. To make things better.

But maybe there’s also more time for selcas, and singing, and sangria. 

Fun, kind things that you could do with others. And for yourself. 

Maybe that’s the way to start.

Yon’s face suddenly pulls together tightly. And you follow her gaze to your hip.

“Why do you have a stapler in your pocket?”

“Hey!” Jungkook exclaims, popping up beside you and patting Yon’s back.

“Hey,” Yon says warmly, leaning in for a hug. “We were just getting to know each other.” She smirks. “Just as it seems the two of you are.”

Jungkook grins at you. “The two of us have been having fun.”

You smile. 

“Oooh, funnnn,” Yon says, her voice waving up and down as the word trails from her lips.

She smirks at Jungkook.

“Then don’t worry about Deji. She’s just fine.”

And she is. Deji and the boy are in their own little bubble, voices hushed, bodies crouched and facing each other, smiles mirroring.

“Tell Mr. Jeup that I can walk her down if he wants,” Yon says.

“Nah, he’s good,” Jungkook replies. “I sent him a selca. Told him that you were all just hanging out.” 

He slides his hands into his back pockets. 

“In fact, I told him that it’s better for her to stay. That it’s much calmer than downstairs. So he said thanks, and that he’d come up and pick her up when the chaos dies down. Even if it’s late into the night.”

Yon clicks her teeth and shakes her head. “Cheeky fucker.”

He beams a cheesy, accomplished grin. 

“Alright, Cupid.” Yon beams a cheesy grin of her own. “Then why don’t you two continue your night of fun?”

Jungkook flicks his eyes over to you.

You realize that you’re starting to sweat, too.

Yon is already shoving Jungkook back into the hallway when he asks, “Y-you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” She smiles at you. “Nice meeting you. Maybe you can explain the stapler when I see you again?”

You laugh, and Jungkook stands next to you in the hallway.

Before you leave, he turns back to the living room.

“Dehhhh-jiiiiiii!” he sings.

Deji looks up at him and smiles. “Yesssss??” she sings back mockingly.

Jungkook sends her a wink.

Deji’s cheeks balloon with air, and they deflate quickly as she whines out, “oh-PAAAA!!!”

He cackles as Yon hurriedly calls back, “OK, Jungkook-oppa is leaving now! Everybody say goodbye!”

The kids yell out goodbyes to Jungkook-oppa, and Jung-krook-oppa, and Yungkook-oppa, and Jungle-oppa, and Crunkook-oppa, and Chunky-oppa— and Yon, cackling, uses her foot to nudge Jungkook farther into the hall before pushing the door closed.

The kids’ goodbyes are replaced with the sound of people in other eighth-floor apartments trying to come up with — and, in some cases, even arguing about — activities to occupy their fellow film fans. But unlike on the other floors, the sound doesn’t seem so overwhelming, tempered above by the typical silence of the ninth.

You look up. Being up on the hermit, ninth floor affords you a certain privilege. You haven’t worried one bit since the power went out. You know that your apartment looks exactly the same as you left it. Kitchen, clean. Living room, sparkling. Bed, made. Pillows fluffed, and sheets pressed. Nothing out of the ordinary, save for maybe the fire escape that you like to keep cracked, fighting off the sometimes stale air. 

You see your desk pushed up against it. Pages of your open book swaying in the breeze.

“Tired?” Jungkook asks, tilting his head.

How quickly you grow tired of stale air.

“Maybe a little, but,” you rush, “uh… not quite…”

Your gaze settles on each other. Jungkook’s eyebrows are slightly tented.

“Not quite ready to go home just yet,” you say, voice low, and ambling.

Jungkook smiles.

“Then let’s go do the second thing you wanted to do tonight.”

It’s been a while since you’ve seen stars. 

And you still kind of see stars when you turn to Jungkook. 

The breeze runs through his hair, making some of his shorter, soft curls dance.

You miss them a little when he pulls up his hood, so that his hair stays clean as he lies down on the roof, next to you.

He’s just so mesmerized by how bright the world is in the middle of a blackout.

“Can you believe this happens every night?” Jungkook asks in awe. “This happens every night, and we just don’t see it.”

You look back up at the sky like an old friend. 

The suburbs that raised you gave you unencumbered sight. You’ve memorized a few of them. Though your favorites are the ones that shine during the winter, you can spot some of summer’s best. The dippers. Leo.

You introduce him to them.

It’s fun to watch Jungkook meet them for the first time.

“They make everything feel so much smaller,” he observes in wonder.

“That can be a good thing,” you realize as you say. 

You feel his curious eyes on you as you give your body a good, deep stretch, toes wiggling, hips pulling down, chest rising a little, and shoulders popping as your neck tilts left and right, your head still resting on the inside back lining of Jungkook’s denim jacket, which he laid flat on the roof for you. 

“Takes some of the pressure off.”

He watches as you lick your lips, take another deep breath, and close your eyes as you exhale. 

“Feeling a lot of it?” he asks.

“Was.”

The warmth of Jungkook’s proud glow tickles your side, and you open your eyes to the sight of him beaming at the sky and biting his lip at a job well done.

You follow his gaze, and take another deep breath.

“Things will work out,” he says comfortingly. 

You chuckle. “They probably always do, for someone like you.” 

“What if they do?”

It would sound cocky if he didn’t punctuate it with a question mark that has a light giggle for a point.

The corner of your mouth ticks up. “Then I’m happy for you.”

Jungkook hums.

You lie there in silence for a while, the sounds of the city floating up from the street. It’s calming, hearing the city chugging along, even if just a little slower and quieter, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Because it isn’t.

Jungkook pulls his legs in, bending his knees and letting his feet plant themselves onto the roof, one leg crossing over the other, foot just above and to the right of you. 

You watch it sway a little. 

“I’d play some music or something, but I think my phone is going to die soon,” Jungkook mumbles.

“Oh. Hang on.”

As you slant your hips toward him, Jungkook’s eyes run down your body and follow their curves. Your hand slides out from your back pocket with your phone, still full of charge.

When you look at its screen, you don’t even see all the notifications in the top bar. You go right to your playlists, and you see the perfect track. 

It doesn’t occur to you to ask Jungkook if he likes it. He’s already moved his swaying foot in time to the slightly faster beat.

It’s a song about a new crush, its sweet and giddy lyrics, harmonies, and melodies floating into the air, lofted by city sounds, and Jungkook humming along beside you. 

You smile to yourself.

You narrow your eyes.

And then you turn onto your side, folding and tucking both of your hands under your right cheek.

“Tell me more about this crush,” you say.

Jungkook mirrors you, forehead wrinkling, and lips tantalizing as he smirks and turns inward to you, too. 

You’re almost touching.

You catch another whiff of baby powder.

“Hmm… which crush?”

You giggle together, noses almost bumping.

“Tell me more about Deji and this boy.”

“Ahhhh!”

He smiles. Fond. Almost proud.

“She’s so cute,” you say, your heart swelling a little. 

“She’s precious,” Jungkook agrees. “The Jeups are always busy at their shop, and when they’re working really late, people from the building will drop by their place and check on them, or invite them over. I haven’t been able to visit as often, but when I visit Yugy, I usually try to swing by. Entertain them for a few hours if I can.”

“So friendly,” you comment.

Jungkook tilts his head toward you. “It’s nice to make friends.”

You smile. “It is.” And then. you sigh. “Now, tell me about the boy.”

Laughing, he says, “His name is Hyun-Woo, and he lives on the fourth floor.”

Your smile stretches, and your eyebrows rise.

Jungkook giggles. And then he shares a bit more.

“His parents are quiet. They’re all still kinda new to the city. A little shy. He is, too. He has a pet gerbil named Moony because he seems to like to play at night. He plays video games. He used to collect these little space battalion figurines, but he kind of lost track of some of them during the move, but it’s alright, because he was kinda starting to lose interest in them anyway. And he plays tennis. He’s OK at it.”

“Is he a nice kid?” you ask.

“What do you think?”

“You’re the one who knows him.”

“Huh? I just met him tonight.”

Your eyes open in surprise. Jungkook knows everybody in the world. 

“What?”

He raises his hand in caution. “Hey, all of this info is second-hand from Deji.”

“She’s really fallen for him, huh?”

Jungkook’s brows, cheeks, nose, and lips all draw together, meeting, squinched, in the middle of his face.

“She told me that she’s butt-crazy in love.”

When you laugh, he laughs, all his features bouncing back to their rightful, gorgeous places.

You lie there, just watching him, trying to take more of it in. 

More of Jungkook just laughing.

His eyes are perfectly almond-shaped, but they grow so big and round when he laughs. He seems to have a habit of pushing his upper lip into a triangular pout, symmetrical with the way his cheeks form sideways Vs as he pulls his lips up and back. There’s a tiny freckle on his chin, by his bottom lip, and you like that depending on how full his laugh is, and how open his mouth grows to let it out, you can sometimes see it, and sometimes, you can’t, because when it pops up, it’s like a tiny, adorable prize. And now, he’s scratching the tip of his ear, grabbing onto it, before sliding his hands under his cheeks, just like yours.

Your knees are almost touching.

“Is she?”

“She is.”

Maybe it’s the topic, and maybe it’s just tonight, but everything about him shines so brightly. Even his voice bathes you in starlight.

“When it comes to this sort of thing, you just know.”

He rubs his knee, gently, against yours.

It angles downward as he rests his weight on it. 

His arm comes around you, and your body turns with it, your back meeting the roof.

His hand flattens, resting on his jacket, holding him up.

As he leans over you, face in full view, the only thing you see, other than the swirls of stars sparkling behind him, you think you might crane your neck up and plant a kiss on his slightly parted lips.

As you raise your chin to meet him, he thinks you might, too.

He opens his mouth to say something else. Maybe even do something else. Whatever it is, you want him to do it. 

But then, there’s the loud buzzing of generators, and a rush of light. 

Windows. 

Signs. 

Billboards. 

Fluorescent. 

Neon. 

Spotlights evolving into floodlights. 

The entire city rumbles with an earthquake of cheers.

Your lips pull back from the pout you were making, rushing inward as you seal them together with your teeth.

Jungkook freezes.

You look at each other for a moment.

And then he leans back. Instead of lying back down, he sits up, folding his legs under him. He uses them to get himself back onto his feet and walk over to the edge, looking back at you and raising his eyebrows in question.

You rock onto your side, kneel, and then hoist yourself up, joining him to look over the ledge.

The streets are more crowded than you thought. And they’re growing louder, no longer restrained under that black cloud.

“Guess it’s over,” he says.

You blink a few times, getting used to this new, luminous world. You peer down at the building across the street, the one that blocks the city from your apartment’s view, and you see a horde of people through one of the main windows.

You can already hear the din of people in your own building, chaos moving from the hallways to the stairwell. Sweaty bodies pushing against each other to get back to their apartments, filled with stale air.

Jungkook raises his eyebrows as he reads your mind. “Wait it out?”

“Nah.”

You follow the siding, along the ledge, to where the roof’s fire escape sits.

You grab the rising railing and steady yourself before climbing up, over the ledge, and turning around to take the ladder down..

You look at Jungkook with a daredevil’s grin.

“C’mon.”

Hoisting the fire escape window open proves to be much more difficult than you thought. Maybe the metal tracks have rusted over. Maybe the paint has turned to glue. Or maybe there’s something stuck at the top, a bit of wood, or a random pebble, wedging it in place.

Jungkook sends it flying upwards with seemingly no effort.

Even though the fire escape’s metal work is still up to code and more than enough to keep you from tumbling down into, incidentally, the dumpsters below, he holds his arms open and around you. Just in case.

You climb in, careful not to stomp on your still-open book, balancing on your desk carefully, but not for too long, given that it was bought on a budget and contains a drawer of screws that you didn’t use when putting it together.

Jungkook sees you calculating, and before you can give any kind of warning, he dives for the rug, somersaulting into the living room, stopping just short of the coffee table holding your one real plant.

Smiling back as you cackle, he jumps up, dusts himself off, and takes a bit of a bow.

Unlike every other apartment in the city at that moment, your lights are still off. But you tend to keep them off anyway, much preferring the way the city light gives you just enough to maneuver around comfortably.

He seems to understand. Another shared preference.

You watch as he takes slivers of your living room in. At the far end, your door, double-locked. Shoes lined up, except for a boot that has fallen on its side. A table, which is probably where you put your keys and mail. A skinny bookshelf on the first wall. A TV, and that coffee table, in the center. That plant, which, unfortunately, isn’t doing too well. This couch, with the quilt that looks like your mother, or any mother, made it, but is actually another bargain buy. 

“Cozy,” he says with a genuine smile.

“Appears that way,” you admit.

Jungkook nods as he takes more in. Everything seems to be in place. In order. And he’s starting to feel awkward there, unsure of where he needs to be.

“Well,” he says, smiling. “I guess there’s nothing left to do but the last thing on your list.”

There’s an uncomfortable pressure in your chest. You let it storm and rumble for a moment, and you realize that it’s not anxiety, or stress. Those would mean that having Jungkook in your apartment would feel wrong. That you would want him to go.

But you desperately, desperately don’t.

It’s regret. 

The regret of not craning your neck up and kissing him under the stars.

“I don’t want to do the last thing anymore,” you say, looking at him with want. “I wanna do something else.”

You don’t break your gaze as you walk right up to him, toes touching his.

You tilt your head.

You kiss him.

You kiss him.

And he lets you.

When you pull away, you grin and ask, “What are you thinking?”

He could have been staring for five seconds or five hours. It somehow feels like both. And all of that explodes when he tells you, “I was thinking how much I like the taste of your mouth.”

His lips land on yours with a soft grunt, diving in with more want the more that he gets of you. His fingers hold your head gently, but after each taste that he gets of you, his fingers continue to dig in, squeezing your cheeks slightly, and forcing your lips forward.

He runs his tongue over them and kisses you once more. 

Hearts pounding, you pull away, wearing matching, wet smirks. 

As you pull away, you stare at each other, puzzled, and even more curious.

You rush together again, bodies colliding this time, and violently so.

“Ow!”

You rub at the sore spot just above your right breast, and The Hulk scowls back at you.

“Haha, aww.” 

He whines along with you, pulling you in closer on the other side, and placing his hand on your sore spot, too.

He massages his fingers in tender circles.

And then he pulls you in for a kiss that unfolds slowly, not robbed of heat and passion but building back up to it layer by layer, like the measured steps of the fire escape, rather than tumbling off of the roof’s ledge.

His hand travels down, taking your breast in his hand and massaging it with his entire palm, working in tandem with his tongue in your mouth.

You feel both his tongue and his hand at your pussy, clenching tighter, and nearly getting as wet as your smirks.

He groans softly, shoulders bending back.

He momentarily removes his hand from you as he peels his jacket off of his frame, first his left sleeve, then his right, folding the jacket in half and gently tossing it over to your couch.

And then, his hand returns, and the other joins it, groping your chest and pushing your breasts into you. You lay your hands on top of his and follow his round motions, intertwining and closing your fingers around his fingers as they feel you.

His thumbs flick over both of your nipples. You can only feel part of the sensation, with your blouse still on, and given the light padding in your bra. But it’s more than enough to send twitches to your pussy as it drips with more arousal.

Your thighs tighten and clasp together, hips swirling.

Your head dips back as you take in a long, deep breath, followed by shallower ones.

It feels like you’ve been drowning. 

Jungkook watches you, hands slowing to a stop.

“Everything OK?”

“I haven’t been kissed like that in a long, long time,” you say, dazed. “And I barely know you.”

Jungkook smiles. “I’m Jungkook.”

You laugh, “Yes, but—” 

“Why don’t I tell you what I know,” he says quietly, and thoughtfully. 

He runs his fingers down the collar of your blouse. You barely feel him, but your chest feels so tense.

“I know that you’re sweet.”

He runs his index finger down your chest. As he unbuttons the first button with just his right hand, your eyes unfocus, lids falling slightly closed, and your tilting head sending them back.

“I know that you’re kind.”

The second button is a little harder to undo. You had to replace it after the thread came loose, and you overdid the fix just to be sure. He’s still able to unbutton it with just one hand.

“I know that you’re funny.”

The third button opens, and he rolls it in his fingers as he tickles your belly button, making you giggle and squirm.

“I know that you’re feisty. And really competitive. Which I’m gonna have tons of fun with.”

You laugh as he hooks his finger around the fourth button, which falls open. He barely even had to touch it. You feel your shirt spreading apart at your shoulders, and you feel the slight breeze from the window on your chest.

“I know that you’ve had a shitty day.”

You soften as he undoes the last button at the end of your blouse.

“And I wanna make you feel better.”

His hands move up your hips, and waist, and he moans softly at the feel of your skin. 

He bends down and kisses just above your right breast, as his hands run up your chest and to your shoulders, slipping under that polyester blend and running down your arms, your blouse traveling with them.

You hear the crumple of sangria-stained fabric fall on the ground.

Jungkook’s lips find a spot on your neck, and you lean back to give him room.

Your hands sneak under his hoodie, and you take the time to grope every single muscle on his back, each of them covered in a slight sheen of sweat.

“Mmm,” he whispers, as you hook your arms under his and pull him closer. 

“Why have you been wearing two layers?” you finally ask, feeling the weight of his sweat in the fabric. “It’s so hot.”

“I haven’t done my laundry yet. These are the last clean clothes that I have. And this is thin.” 

He tugs on the front and looks down.

“You can see my nipples through it.

Your frown is weighted with empty promises when you look down. 

“In the light, I mean,” Jungkook chuckles.

“That’s a feature, not a bug, Jungkook.”

He has no idea what you’re talking about, but he’ll take it, with the way you’re softly moaning as you run your hands across his chest.

“You wanna see them?”

“Uh-huh. Let me turn on the light.”

“Or you could just take this off.”

“Right.”

You almost would prefer to turn on the light, because, now that you know his back is made of nothing but rippling muscle, you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle the full sight of his chest. 

But you bite your lip, and tug.

He pulls his arms down, and then he shakes his hair free, as you pull the hoodie from his head.

You wish you could take a picture of the resulting floof, so soft and cute.

And then you let your eyes drift down to his chest.

He watches with interest as you trace each of his pecs with your fingers. 

“Live up to your expectations?”

You realize your mouth has been hanging open.

You look into his eyes.

“Shattered them.”

He laughs, and then you go back to admiring his body. You wonder what he does. Weights, obviously, as supported by his strong, defined arms. Maybe he swims, given his waist. He probably likes to run, too. He can probably run for hours. In fact, with all the gallivanting around tonight, his heart’s gotta be like that of a stallion.

This bodes well for you.

The only way he can pry you away from that body is by tilting your chin up and stealing your gaze with his eyes.

His lips flutter against your jaw line until they meet yours again.

With your chests mashing together, and your kisses stretching on for longer, busier spans of time, you’re starting to work up a sweat.

“Bedroom?” you ask, panting.

He nods quickly and looks around to figure out which door it is.

You smile and take his hand, leading him to the far right, past your kitchen, and to your room, to your perfect, comfy bed.

You slide out of your shoes, undo your pants, and let them fall to the floor before climbing onto the bed and sitting in the middle.

And you run your hand across your chest as you watch him take his time, kicking off his shoes, taking off his pants, standing there in his black boxer-briefs and just grinning at you.

“Are you gonna join me or what?”

When your head tilts to the side, weighted with impatience, he scrunches his face again, and laughs.

He crawls as he follows you, watching you to make sure you’re comfortable as you lie down, and then settling on top of you, like you both wish he had done on the roof.

“You playing with me?” you mumble through a smile, as you bring your arms around him.

He kisses the inside of your upper arm and rubs it with his hand. “No,” he says simply. “Just like looking at you.”

You sigh as he kisses you.

It’s a little faster. Hungrier. Like before.

He leads you back with his lips, and when he looks down at your chest, you arch back, fingers finding the band and undoing the clasps in the back.

He lets out a sigh when he sees your bare chest.

He locks eyes with you, and his look says it all. Equal parts tender and fascinated. You wouldn’t believe the look on anyone else, but after tonight, you know that there is no disingenuous bone in Jungkook’s body. 

You are beautiful.

He smiles as he snatches your bra from your hand and tosses it behind him, rushing forward to you and pinning you down to your pillow with his kiss, both of you laughing and grunting happily.

You place your hands on his hips, and then stroke his thighs.

You run the backs of your fingernails to his crotch, and he lets out a low moan.

“OK?” you ask.

“Yeah. Yeah, please.”

You fondle his cock, hard, and getting harder, while you grasp it with firm pressure. He whines so sweetly as your hand runs up and down its column, his underwear keeping it pinned against him, nearly choking it off.

His left hand claims your left breast, starting to massage it, and his right hand strokes your panties, twisting as your body starts to writhe against your mattress, the fabric riding higher and getting caught in your swelling, dripping flesh. 

Your kisses are becoming more and more impassioned with each need being met.

He starts to dip his fingers between your pussy lips, letting your clit part his index and middle fingers as his wrist rocks back and forth.

As you moan on each stroke, he lifts his lips from yours and rests his temple against your collarbone.

“Can I taste you?” he asks hopefully.

You look at him and nod in desperation. 

He smirks and kisses down your body, taking your panties and pulling them down to your calves. He’s so impatient that he starts to eat you out before they’re even fully off, and you take turns between giggling while trying to kick them off completely, and groaning at each dizzy lick of his tongue tip, spiraling around your clit, and sending you spiraling into your own abyss.

Your hips start to match his motion, but then his hands grasp your hips and pin you down.

You feel yourself fighting against him, and that tight, added resistance has you seeing stars. The sensation travels in waves over your body, never quite settling in one place. Your shoulders carry you from left to right. Your ass digs down, then pumps up. Your back locks, then arches. All of your movements fail miserably at quelling the disquieted sections of your body, only shifting the tension from muscle to muscle.

He pins your thighs down with his forearms, and then holds you open with his thumbs, his tongue laying flat and changing from spirals to broad, heated, pressured brushstrokes up and down, at an even, unhurried tempo.

You whimper as you start to feel little shivers of pleasure tickle your body. You wet your lips and press them together, choked-off grunts getting louder and louder.

“Fingers?” Jungkook asks.

“Mm -hmm.”

He grunts as he shifts his weight, letting your left thigh go, and softly pushing it to the side to widen your spread a little.

His hand is warm and covered in your sweat.

He lays the pad of his thumb against the entrance of your pussy, pressing slightly, and then he sucks the juice that collects around it.

“Tight little thing,” he mumbles. “Not ready for me yet.”

You groan at all the things that means.

He slides the tip of his index finger in. At first, you feel yourself fighting him, but when he starts to suck your clit, you feel yourself start to shift that tension up to your extremities. Your hands ball into fists. Your toes curl. Your throat closes off as you try to wail. 

His entire finger slides inside, and you feel your walls conforming to his knuckles. 

He starts to pump, and you hiss.

The sound of wet muscle doubles, and you feel his groans against your clit as his hips start to snap into his own fist. 

He keeps his mouth open as you rock against his mouth, tongue stretching into your folds as you slide around his finger, moving faster, his other fist matching your pace stroke for stroke.

As the edges of a soft, warm release start to take you, he slips another finger inside of you, and you let out a loud moan. 

Jungkook hums, pleased with how pleased you are.

“Shit, it feels so good,” you whine, before resting the back of your forearm over your lips and biting down.

He quickens his speed. Curves his fingers up.

“Uh-huh!”

You tighten around him, and he lets out a sigh, his temple resting against your thigh, eyes dazed over as he watches his fingers disappear inside of you over and over again, while his other fingers tighten their grip around his leaking cock.

He grunts again, and then, he places his lips over your clit, sealing it in his mouth, and sucking again.

When you come, you sigh, laughing a little at how unexpectedly delirious you feel. 

Your body is still shivering when he stands over you, his pace slowing, but his cock still has a ways to grow. 

It’s already so big.

You can’t wait.

“Come here,” you motion, directing Jungkook to come around the side of the bed.

“You sure?” he asks, obviously excited.

“After that?” you say, delighted. 

You roll onto your side, hugging the edge of the mattress, and open wide for him, eyes gleaming as you look up at him.

His hand cradles the back of your head as you try to take him in one gulp. It takes you a minute to get the angle right, jaw driving you left and right, tongue flat, then narrow and pointed, until you surround him with your lips, and you start to bob your head back and forth, halfway down his shaft.

He takes a shaky breath in, and you smile when you hear him let out a little, “whoo.”

He comes out of your mouth with a pop as you lick your precum-glossed lips and ask, “You like it?”

You see only his hair floof shake up and down. His head has fallen back, the strong pillar of his throat bulging forward, collarbones out, chin directed up at the air. 

You watch as you suck harder, his crown regally announcing itself through the curtains of your tonsils, muscle meeting your throat.

Jungkook hisses, bringing his hands up to the sides of his head, and raking his fingers through his hair. 

You move back and forth again, your pillow collecting your sweat as you go.

The longer you go, the more you feel him resisting.

You place your hands on his hips to find that they’re shaking. 

When you pinch them, he moans, and he finally lets himself thrust.

You groan as he pushes into you, taking shallow breaths in through your nostrils as he sinks further and further into madness. How you take him so easily, and yet, how beautifully tight and slippery your throat is. How patient you are, and how careful he has to be. It’s driving him sinfully insane. 

Before it gets too far, he pulls out, slow at first, and then quick, as you catch your breath, and he tenses.

“Again?” you prompt weakly, opening your mouth.

“I have to fuck you,” Jungkook demands. “Now.”

You laugh at how serious he looks, his eyes darting around your bedroom.

“What are you looking for?”

“Condoms?”

You get out of bed and scurry to the bathroom, Jungkook smiling and pinching your ass as you go.

You lead him to the bathroom, the door opposite your kitchen, and you quickly locate them under your sink. 

“These OK?” you ask, holding up the box. 

“Perfect.”

He rips one from the rest.

And then he sets it on the sink, taking the box with him and marching back to your bedroom.

You laugh, running up to him and jumping onto his back, wrapping your legs around his waist and peppering his neck and traps with kisses.

He kisses your forearm and giggles.

And then something catches his eye.

He stops.

“Ooh. What’s that?”

You look over to your kitchen counter and spot the simple snacks you’d left out for yourself, thinking you’d be treating yourself for the weekend.

“Is that candy?” he asks.

“Chocolate, infused with weed.”

“Yeah?”

He looks back at you and smirks.

“You wanna?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. “We haven’t eaten in a while. And they’re kinda strong.”

Jungkook beams. “Even better.” But then he pushes out his lips. “Unless you were saving—”

“I’m down if you’re down,” you say happily. “Go get ‘em.”

He hoists you up higher onto his back, and you tighten your grip around his shoulders, as he walks over to the counter.

He unwraps the gold foil and breaks off a square. He raises it up and behind him to your lips. You take his fingers into your mouth and suck. He leaves his hand there so that you can suck the rest of the chocolate off of them, too. He beams at you, and you lean forward to kiss him, before he takes another square for himself.

He licks his fingers as he brings you back to bed, the two of you laughing as you go.

And then, he stumbles, tripping, turning just in time to throw you onto the bed, while he falls to the floor.

“Oh my god!” you cackle, as Jungkook pops back up, your pants, and your powder blue stapler, tangled up and around his foot.

“I’m sorry!” he calls out, pulling them off and throwing them back down. 

“Are you OK?” you ask, still giggling.

Jungkook furrows his brow and looks at the ground. He disappears, and then pops back up again, holding up a sleeve of condoms.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

He rips one off the end and puts it on, crawling over you as you lay back.

“Mmm,” you sigh, as he pushes into you.

His neck lolls forward, and you grab his hair floof in your fingers.

“You OK?” Jungkook asks gently.

You wonder how many times he’s had to ask someone that.

He’s so long, but his girth. So wide. So full. And so heavy, with want, and passion, and excitement. 

“You said that you had to fuck me,” you say, hands grabbing onto his ass. “So fuck me.”

He starts to move, pulling back, and then rocking forward, your bodies bobbing up and down as your movements build off of each other, more pleas floating out of your mouths. 

More. 

Harder. 

Like this.

His eyes find that spot above your right breast.

“What?” you ask, slightly distracted by the look on his face.

“I think there’s a small bruise.” He presses a kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s OK,” you say, scoffing. “If I need to, I can cover it up with something.”

“So can I.”

His mouth latches there, and he starts to bite, and suck. You feel your skin giving way to him, like it’s breaking open and spilling all over you, instead of Jungkook’s pool of spit. 

“Oh my god,” you whisper, your hips starting to roll at the combined sensation. “Don’t stop.”

As his thrusts get harder and deeper, he shifts all of his weight to his left side, and his right hand slides down to your clit, starting to rub in those circular motions again. You roll against him, knees in the air, swaying open, then back closed around his waist. 

Everything’s a blur.

He stiffens as he pumps, deeper and deeper, the bed rocking under your weight, his own tiny sighs getting louder as you start to wail.

All the while, his teeth pinch and nibble that spot on your chest, and you feel your legs starting to shake.

You’re on the brink of another orgasm.

When he stops.

“No, no, no, no,” you whimper, fluttering.

Jungkook giggles.

“Don’t stop!”

“I’m not. Not completely.”

“Ugh.”

His voice deepens, and softens, as it rumbles through your hair to your ear. 

“Think about how crazy it’ll feel when you come.”

He runs his wet index finger around your right nipple, and he kisses the hickey he’s just given you just above it. 

“Please.”

Jungkook grins. “Ah, you asked so nicely.”

He starts to thrust into you again, and you fall right back where you were, covered in tingles and sweat, body starting to spasm, shaking even harder than you were starting to before.

He’s right.

Jungkook, this beautiful stranger, who is dipping in and out of your frenzied pussy, cock slamming, and disappearing, whose hand is furiously pawing at your clit and making you overflow with arousal, making every muscle inside of you tremble, and then freeze and release, exploding and sending you reeling, is absolutely right.

“Fuck!”

When you come, you do feel crazy.

And so does he, getting off on how you moaned for him, babbled nonsense because of him. 

A few tears are pooling in the corners of your eyes.

You feel so raw.

A good kind of raw.

Not like before, when Jungkook first saw you crying.

The kind of raw that tells you that you’ve washed the day off of your tired skin and are reborn.

You look at him in contemplation.

“You’re lucky I like overstimulation.”

“Taking note,” Jungkook observes, slowing his thrusts. “What else do you like?”

“What do you like?”

“I like spanks.”

“Me too,” you say. “Giving and receiving.”

He stops his thrust altogether, intrigued.

“Then spank me,” he orders. “Right now.”

You do, as you bite your lip and smile.

“No, really, spank me,” Jungkook says, reaching for your arm.

You fight off his wiggling fingers, lean forward, and pack a wallop into your slap on his ass, watching it shake.

“Ow! Not that hard!” he whines, rubbing the spot.

“I’m sorry!”

He collapses into giggles, curling up in your sheets.

“I’m kidding. You’re kind of weak.”

You scrunch up your face and spank him all over his body, but then he picks you up, tickling you and sending you into a cackling frenzy.

“Jesus fucking— Stop! Stop! You win!” you cry.

“Say I’m the flip cup champ!” Jungkook demands.

“What??”  

“Say it!”

“B-but you aren’t!”

“Say it or I won’t stop!”

You can’t breathe, you’re laughing so hard. “I’m the flip cup champ!”

Jungkook pinches your side, and you squeal.

“You’re the flip cup champ!” you holler. “Jungkook is the flip cup champ!”

Jungkook laughs with haughty satisfaction as he lies down on his side, kissing you as you start to float back down next to him.

As your cackles slow, you turn to him and run your fingers over his pretty, kiss-swollen mouth.

“What do you wanna do now?”

“I dunno. What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno.”

“What were we doing, anyway?”

You stare at each other, dumbfounded.

He laughs and turns to you, wide-eyed. “I think we were having sex?”

You cackle. “Oh shit, right!” You kiss him. “Let’s do that. Let’s do more sex.”

“Shit,” he giggles. “This is not a reflection of the quality of sex we were having, by the way. I’m having an amazing time.”

“I know. Me too.” You smile. “I’m having fun.”

You’ve been in the clouds since meeting Jungkook. But everything feels even hazier. The boundaries of your mattress, nightstands, walls, ceilings, and floors are melding. Softening. 

And so is Jungkook’s happy, smiling face.

You grin and scrunch your nose. 

“Hmm. I guess the edible hit.”

“Guess so,” Jungkook celebrates, eyes shining.

“Let me ride you,” you say warmly, but excitedly, kissing him as you get on top. “You’ve been doing all the work.”

“You’ve been putting work in, too. And you can’t ride me better than I’ve been fucking you,” Jungkook teases.

“Are you shitting me?” you ask, aghast. “Is that a dare?”

“Try it and find out.”

You slap his chest, and he laughs.

And while you sink down onto him, he sighs lightly, licking his lips and curling them into a smile.

First, you tantalize him by weaving slow circles, clenching him so tightly, that he hisses the same way he did when he was in your throat. 

His hands slap onto your thighs and grab on.

You start to bounce up and down, and he watches your breasts jiggle as you do, his left hand reaching up and squeezing the right one as his right hand squeezes your thigh.

And then, you lean forward, and rock against him. You move so sweetly, whether you’re gently stroking him with your flesh, or riding him so tight and hard that he can’t see straight. It seems that you’re headed that way, with how hard your fists are gripping his shoulders.

He moans compliments as you ride. 

“You’re goddamn gorgeous.”  

“You feel so good.” 

“So, so tight. If you clench even harder, I’ll—”

And you do.

He won’t be able to last.

But then you stop.

His mouth falls open.

You lean forward and scoop him up into a kiss.

“Think about how crazy it’ll feel when you cum,” you joke.

“You are driving me crazy.”

You giggle through another moan. “Butt-crazy?”

Jungkook whines. “Don’t be cute. And don’t talk about butts. I might ask you to do something, and I feel like that’s a question for when we know each other a little better.”

“Keep going the way you are, and if you ask it tonight, I might say yes.”

“Oh god.”

But you still don’t budge.

He places his hands on your waist and frantically tries to get you to bounce. Tries tickling you. Pinching you. 

“Agh, c’mon.”

“Nope. This is payback for—”

Jungkook finally just grabs you by the hips. Holds you in place. Starts to pump up and into you.

He’s relentless.

You give complete control to him, barely able to hold yourself up. 

But he’s got you. 

The strokes feel like flames, deep, hot, and fast, making your pussy pulse, arousal leaking, even threatening to spurt out of you because of how full you are.

When your elbows start to tremble, threatening to give way, he wraps his arms around you hugging your chest to his. His strokes have started a wildfire in your core, and you’re sweating so much that when your head falls to him, there’s a splash of it onto your temple. 

Everything in your body is clamping down. Shutting down. You can’t stand it anymore. All this tension. 

The release is almost unbearable.

You both howl, your orgasm coming first, and his coming soon after, your bodies tied up in knots as you strain to stay together, transferring each flicker and spasm to one another, until you both collapse back down to the mattress.

“Let me cool you down,” he mumbles, fighting the oncoming drowsiness.

“What?” you ask.

But he’s already sliding down your body.

He licks at your pussy, lapping up all of your arousal.

“Jungkook?”

You start to feel waves rolling up your calves.

“Jungkook.”

“Mm.”

He spits it all back onto you, making you gasp.

He keeps licking, sucking on your clit, sucking on your lips, and gently running his fingers across your stomach, like little comforting tickles.

You come, softly, and quietly, gentle shivers helping your body stretch back out and relax, resolving the rest of the tension that hadn’t quite unfurled from before.

“There.”

You watch him army crawl back up the mattress and laugh softly when his completely drenched hair floof hits the pillow next to you.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says.

“Nothing,” you answer. “My mind is completely blank.”

“Good.” Jungkook grins. “That was the third thing you wanted, wasn’t it?”

All you can do is stare at his proud, accomplished, wondrous grin.

And before he pulls you into a soft, tender kiss, he tells you.

“You were right. I find that things usually work out. And that’s because I always make sure that they do.”

The sun stings your eyes. It feels chemical. Even with them closed.

Slowly, you pry them open. First the left. Then the right. You blink slowly, then rapidly, the world coming into focus as you do.

Where are you?

Oh. That’s right. Home.

Why did you forget that you were home? You’re always home.

Though it feels like you haven’t been home in ages.

Why is it so bright?

Yes, it’s day time. But it’s so—

Right. The city blackout.

But how did you know the whole city was affected? Whenever anything in your apartment goes wrong, you pretty much ignore it and continue puttering around your apartment until you get some kind of text from a co-worker—

Mm.

Anyway, you guess you’ll putter around until you somehow find out from someone that whatever you were experiencing was actually part of some kind of mass event—

Riiiiiiiight. The block party. 

Hold on.

Why are you smiling about the block party?

Why are you giggling about the block party?

Why do you feel so sore?

And what time is it?

You lift your head, too quickly at first, feeling immediately unsteady. You shut your eyes and let your body find equilibrium before trying to step back outside of yourself. When you’re ready — there’s no rush, you, for some reason, kindly tell yourself — you prop yourself up on your elbows and look to your nightstand to find out.

And you see four things.

Your clock, reading 8:43 AM.

Your powder blue stapler.

The Hulk.

And, under his feet, a small note, scribbled on a piece of paper. Torn, like his shorts.

It’s 8:20. I think you’re almost up, but you look pretty comfy, so I don’t want to wake you. Going to the Chans for breakfast. 

C’mon!

As everything comes swirling back to you — the dumpsters; and Mrs. Chan’s walnut chicken; Yugyeom and his sangria; Shik and your stapler; Mr. Jeup, Deji, her cookies, her crush, and Crunkook-oppa ; Yon and Yeo in the candlelight; and, not least of all, Jungkook’s beaming face framed by that unspeakably wondrous, starry, starry sky — you’re glad, thrilled, that some memories from last night were absolutely worth keeping.

So you leap out of bed to make more.

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 3 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader (surprise lmao)

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, descriptions of blood and gore, profanity, mental issues, injury descriptions, angst, clichés (I’m a fan of them), typos, the reader’s confused about everything. Flashbacks in forms of memories, a flashback in a form of a dream

Author’s note: the longest part so far!! I had planned to put a lot of things in this one, so here you go. If you came here to read a simple story of two friends falling in love - sorry, not gonna happen lmao. All plot twists have been planned beforehand lol. More important characters are introduced in this part too. Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 2 | Part 4

Unlike every other guy you dated, your first love was the one who broke your heart.

It wasn’t cheating, toxicity or lack of closure — it was you two growing up. Dating since the senior year at school, you had lasted for almost four years, being together at college too. You remembered the first time he and Chan met; what really got engraved into your memory was him tensing up immediately while shaking Chan’s hand.

“Don’t be an ass”, he ran the hand through his hair — a habit of his when he was annoyed.

“I’m not”, he cupped your face and forced you to hold an eye contact. “I just don’t trust this guy”.

“Maybe you’re just jealous?”, he let out an exhausted sigh in response. “Yugyeom. Be honest”.

“Want me to be honest? ‘kay. He didn’t look at you like, uh, you look at friends. Y’know?”

You glanced and him, noticing a glimpse of something you’d never seen, something… You had no idea what it was, although, it would have been wrong if you said you didn’t like extra attention Yugyeom was giving you after that encounter with Chan.

Putting his hands on your waist, you took a step closer — it hadn’t been your first time, but it never ceased to give you butterflies how Yugyeom’s eyes always darted from your lips to your eyes whenever you got closer. Standing on the tiptoes, you gave him a wet, slobbery even, smooch on the lips, that always got him taken aback. In a gross way, of course.

“Ew”, the usual response. “You’re disgusting”.

“But you still love me, right?”, you put your arms around his waist, hands landing on the small of his back. Taking his nodding as an affirmation, your head was on his shoulder. “There’s nothing between me and Chan. We’re just friends. D’you really think I would be hanging out with someone who’d be, like, flirting with me or something?”

Yugyeom sighed again. “No”, his embrace on you tightened. “I know you wouldn’t. It’s not you I don’t trust”.

“Okay, let’s have a deal”, you raised your head to look at him. “If he ever does something… Some shit that you’re talking about, I’ll block him everywhere”.

“In real life too?”, a soft smile on his lips made the corners of your mouth quirk up too.

“Everywhere. And I’ll tell you immediately. Deal?”

“Deal”.

“Great”, having smacked his butt with extra ferocity — watching him hiss as if he hadn’t been used to it — you stood up straight. “Let’s go”, you offered your arm to him; Yugyeom gladly followed your command, giving you a quick kiss on the temple. At that moment you were confident him and you would be endgame.

But the high school friend and sweetheart, the boy you were going to follow to the end of the world… Some months after that conversation, just after you turned twenty-one, he got a chance at the Ivy League university and left. And then you grew apart. Just like that, the name of the love of your life (or so you thought) was erased from your stories, and never replaced. But that’s something you wouldn’t tell anyone, not even your therapist.

You’d get into the details before the breakup: how you two dated, how he got an opportunity to be an exchange student, how excited he was to be able to stay there; his rare homecomings, your gut screaming about the two of you facing the cliff’s edge. But the jump itself? The way it made you feel? And how you had been filling the void Yugyeom left with all those narcissistic assholes? No, never. You’d rather talk about another toxic guy you’d been seeing than spill the beans about Yugyeom. He was blocked, not Chan; the latter wasn’t even close to the blacklist of your life.

However, probably, not for long.

He didn’t respond to your texts; so you thought he’d understood and let you go. Cut you off, the way you asked him to. Though, it hadn’t made it much easier for you; him not responding got you overthinking every little thing he had ever done.

That was the way the emotionally abusive men would treat you: cut you off after confessions, brag about girls they flirted with while dating you. Chan wasn’t like them, was he? He wasn’t. He wasn’t. You rejecting the possibility of him being a total asshole seemed like a way to give excuses.

Were you projecting again? Or did the rose-colored glasses just fell off when you decided to look the other way?

A breathy sigh left your mouth. Closing your eyes, you put the whole weight of your body into your hands, which were now pressing onto the printer. It wasn’t exactly your way to calm down, but crying in the office wasn’t the best option either. You’d wait till the evening, you’d wait till home and your cat. You’d lie down on the floor, next to her bowl of food, and sob while petting the girl, who’s be loudly chewing her food. Not your first time crying like that, so she’s used to it.

Having done thirteen copies, the printer “beeped”, dragging you out of the never-ending flow of thoughts. Not the job you dreamt of, to work from nine to five and to always be buried under the piles of documents.

Unlike you, Chan didn’t give up on his dream, you proceeded with the reminiscence of the past, unlike you he became what he had always wanted. What was the point in listening about your talent for writing if you quit it the moment the first publishing company rejected you?

Chan didn’t refuse his passion; he kept on working, having his bones and heart broken, losing friends and lovers. In the end, that’s where he was: on a pedestal, with his music and new, loyal friends. You were there too; in comparison with people, who surrounded him, you were standing in the corner, fingers interlocked with so much pressure your hands were turning red; eyes never on the main man, but always glued to the floor. Sometimes it seemed as if you had enjoyed not fitting into many friend groups you were apart of in the life — however, the reality was different.

“Talking to people is hard”, you told your therapist. “It takes every bit of energy from me to, like, start a conversation. It’s like, I feel like an idiot. And I think they also think I’m an idiot, y’know?”

“And why, share with me, please, why would they think you’re an idiot?”

“‘Cause… that’s what I’m scared of? That people will think of me as a constant embarrassment?”

Two years of therapy, and yet still, you were there — right where you left your true self. You wondered, especially recently, who you were in reality. With no coping mechanisms in forms of self-destructive jokes, escapism and avoidance. Who were you?

You had asked the question too often, and it all started several months ago, when you found yourself expressing nothing over the a mistake in the report instead of humoring yourself in another self-depreciative joke. Your boss even asked if you were alright; everyone was used to you joking, always and every time, about everything.

“Do you understand why you didn’t joke?”

“Maybe ‘cause I don’t know if that’s what the real me would do”.

This shit? Deep, your therapist admitted. However, the path to find that real persona of yours was full of thorns and pits, and you felt at a loss. The situationship with Chan didn’t help, it only added more questions. And you were prone to leave them all unanswered.

However, last night you’d made the right choice. Or so you thought.

The clock got to ten A.M, and you were staring into the screen of your computer, not having a single thought about numbers in your head. Another report to be done by tomorrow morning. Although, how could you finish some stupid report when Chan didn’t even care to respond? No “Ok”, no “Got you”, nothing. What an ass.

“Are you alright?” Eunjoo peeked from her computer (her desk was joined to yours, so she had always been right in front of you).

You nodded. “Yeah. Just couldn’t sleep at night”, you rubbed your eyes, feeling the typical intense stare from your friend.

“Your eyes look red. Mine usually appear to be like this when I cry a lot. Did you cry?”

Appear to be like this, girl, why do you always have to talk in full forms and elevated language? Especially at 10 in the morning?

“D’you want me to lie or to tell the truth?”

“Truth, always”.

Before you could open your mouth, the manager walked in the office you were sharing with the others; Eunjoo and you both started working too effectively, the sound of your nails, clacking the keys of the keyboard filling in the room. Five minutes later he was gone.

“So?” Eunjoo wasn’t the one to forget easily, you learned it the hard way.

You sighed. “I had a food poisoning of some sort. Spent half the night on the toilet”.

It wasn’t exactly a lie: you did have a poisoning — though it wasn’t food, but Chan. You got poisoned by his smell, his silky lies and gentle touches; he was the villain of the story, who found the easiest way to kill the person he had no use of anymore.

And so he got you addicted to him leaving pecks all over your face, tickling you, so that he could stop abruptly to cup your face. His poison was in the love, that lacked in being in love, in true, required feelings. So he gave you that poison in a form of everything you wanted; and you gladly took it, holding onto the hope of him falling in love with you.

It never happened. And you couldn’t wait any longer — nothing would have changed. You’d still be his friend, his fling, his situationship. And he? The first guy after Yugyeom who treated you right, the first guy in years, he was unreachable, so close, and yet so far from you. His head in the clouds, thinking, dreaming of her, the girl who had broken him in so many pieces, you weren’t sure it was able to collect what was left of his once big and open heart.

“You should go and see that doctor I’ve told you about”, Eunjoo was quick to proceed with another lecture. “And also, stop eating junk food. Your digestive system will be thankful”.

“Yeah, of course, mom”, you mumbled and got back to the Excel file, to the thoughts in your head distracting you from the work you were supposed to finish.

Your phone started buzzing randomly, as if it was reflecting the caller’s personality in details.

“What’s up, Minho? I’m at work”, you answered quietly, turning your head left and right to watch out for your boss.

“Chan’s at the hospital. Car accident. Come here now”, the call ended, and several seconds later the message with the hospital’s address was delivered to your phone.

Your phone was still glued to your ear, that same Excel file opened on the screen. Only the numbers were becoming blurry, as if you had taken off your glasses, and the clacking of keyboards, exhausted huffs and Eunjoo’s lecturing was replaced by a ringing in your ears. You remembered wiping wet cheeks, rubbing your eyes and standing up — it all seemed to be in slow motion.

“Eunjoo, I have to go to the hospital, Chan got into a car accident. Tell Mr. Kim, please”.

Taking your bag in your hands, seeing Eunjoo opening and closing her mouth, but not hearing her or anyone else’s words, you marched to the elevator. The eyes didn’t well up anymore, hands weren’t shaking. You spent the elevator and the taxi ride, keeping your composure. Politely speaking to the driver, you asked him questions and answered his.

At one point, it seemed as if nothing had happened — Lee Know hadn’t called you, you hadn’t received any news. Nothing. If there was something you were great at, that would be suppressing your emotions to the point where you couldn’t feel anything, no matter how much you wanted to.

Slamming the taxi door, your hand flew to your chest, grabbing skin at the left side. A strange tingling within, somewhere inside your ribs. You took a deep breath, telling yourself it’s nothing, gaslighting yourself yet again.

Every step to the hospital echoed in your ears, as if you’d been a titan walking among humans, a step of yours destroying buildings and killing people. Everyone stared — or so it seemed.

Minho’s face was the first thing you noticed after entering; he was there, at the entrance, stomping his feet and glancing at his watch. And what you’d never expected from him was a tight hug he put you in.

“I’m glad you here”, his voice was quiet, calm even — but underneath that tranquility you caught a slight crack. “His parents are on their way. They were traveling, y’know”. He let out a chuckle, and stood next to you, hands on his hips.

Minho was saying something else, you couldn’t really catch what; instead, you observed him. The way he stood there, his confidence and pride slowly washing away by this wave of anxious foot stomping and nail biting. Minho didn’t look anywhere but at the floor — and that was the first time you watched him to be like this: almost broken, nervous, scared.

“What happened?”

Apparently, you interrupted Lee Know’s non-stop blabbering; he glanced at you and gulped, nodding to some thoughts in his head.

“Th-The taxi driver, uh… He was overtaking the traffic, y’know, how they usually do”. A deep breath taken by him. “They were on a highway, uh, and he, uh — I mean, the driver — didn’t see a deer on the road.”

Minho ran his hand through the hair. “So, uh, he, the driver, had to… Maneuver? I’m not sure”, he chuckled nervously. “I didn’t really catch what the police officer was telling me. Feels like my head’s going to explode”.

You took him by the hand and led him to the chairs in the waiting room. Minho’s leg was bouncing uncontrollably, his left palm covering his face. And you were there, holding his hand, and being that calm friend, the one who never lost composure.

“He was coming to see you”.

Ah, shit. The powerful figure of composure, that was holding all of your emotions hostage, felt a stab in the back. It was a small injury, which couldn’t really shake the composure off; but the cut was slightly bleeding.

“What?”. A breathy sigh left your mouth — the bottled up emotions had reached your throat.

“He called me”, Minho leaned back in his chair, and you got involved in an intense eye contact. “Asked me if he was in love with you. As if I’m his personal advisor or whatever”.

“I told him that he was. And he promised to be late, so I assumed he was coming to see you”.

Another stab in the back, in the same exact spot. And then another. The Composure fell to the ground, almost breathless, still having a slight grip on the Fear. And in the next second, the Composure’s hand was cut off, swiftly and violently. The Composure fell into a million pieces, above her, with a bloody sword and watery eyes, was towering the Guilt herself.

“What?” Your breathing fastened, and your lungs seemed to be empty the moment you let another word fall from your mouth. No biting inside of the cheeks, no breathing techniques, no fists clenching helped anymore; your glasses suddenly got fogged up and your hot breath was mixing up with tears, falling on the hem of your shirt. “What?”

It was the last thing you said before Minho hugged your shaking body, letting you wet his shoulder, and muffle cries in the crook of his neck. You were never close; Chan used to nag how he hated that you and Lee Know, his best friends, weren’t close to one another. But in that moment, sobbing in each other’s arms, you were closer than ever.

They told you Chan had a severe concussion and a broken rib.

“In other words, he’s lucky not to get any more injures”, the doctor had told you and Minho. Chan’s parents were flying from Argentina, where they went to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, so they wouldn’t show up in the next several hours. The two of you were by yourselves, sitting outside the intensive care, where he was still kept in. He was unconscious, but was becoming stable as the time progressed; the doctor reassured that he’s be put in a regular hospital room by tomorrow morning, if his condition got better at night.

Three cups of coffee from the local machine for you, and four for Minho. The two of you didn’t utter a word in the last few hours; however, you didn’t need to. You found each other’s presence comforting, and the silence wasn’t awkward — it was supportive in some way. You brought snacks, remembering how Chan mentioned Lee Know loving cheese flavored chips; and he bought you a latte, also learning from Chan it was your favourite coffee. It never ceased to amaze how Chris memorized every little detail about the people he loved; and now, sitting there, scrolling the news absent-mindedly, you knew, finally knew that he loved you too. But did it really matter now? No. The only thing that you cared about was him to wake up and be okay. Your feelings, your love had been waiting for half a year, they would be able to wait one more day.

Chan’s manager was there too: he was marching from one corner of the hall to another, declining calls and responding to some of them, just to scream at the reporters through the phone and aggressively sip on his coffee.

“Han, cut it off”, Minho almost moaned, after another series of loud stomps from Jisung. “Go home and wait for my call”.

“Go home?” Jisung narrowed his eyes. “And do what, exactly? Sit down and watch TV?”.

An exasperated sigh left Lee Know’s mouth. “I dunno. Anything. You’re only being annoying here”.

“Minho”. You said quietly. They both had a temper, throwing tantrums like toddlers wasn’t an unusual occasion for them. But not in the hospital, not while Chan was here.

“Alright”, Han sat down; slapping his knees, he leaned back and closed his eyes. “I’ll be quiet until I get another call from those vultures”.

“So, you’ll be quiet for three seconds?”

“Shut the hell up, Minho”.

Sandwiched between two similar, dominating personalities, you felt the atmosphere shift, from the irritation to quietness once again. The idea of Minho and Jisung shutting their mouths even for three seconds seemed to be the best one so far.

You followed Han’s example and leaned back, feeling the coldness of the wall through you shirt. Eunjoo had been texting every hour, checking on you and the situation, and even used a contraction once. You gave a half smile after receiving the message — to use informal grammatical forms was unacceptable for Eunjoo; that’s how you knew: she was worried too. Yeah, everyone was.

Closing your eyes, you heard Minho sigh and mumble something; he was probably cursing at the news on the net, where every “celebrity source” had been delivering information about Chan. Most of it was fake, because the press didn’t know anything but the fact of the accident. You also wanted to be famous once; however, now you were glad you weren’t.

You didn’t even notice how the heavy weight of the day started lifting from your shoulders, dozing you off. You didn’t realize how long you were asleep, but you were dreaming the entire time.

“Doesn’t it seem weird to you?” Chan asked, chewing on another strawberry from the bowl.

“What exactly?” You were exhausted because of the heat; lying on the couch in his family’s country house, a fan blowing directly at you, you only wished to be put in an ice bath.

“That you don’t feel anything”, he leaned back to the couch, head turned to face you. “This is what you’re saying all the time, isn’t it?”

“Dunno what you’re talking about”, you muttered, breaking off the eye contact.

“You do”, he stood up from the floor and flopped on the couch — precisely on your legs. You groaned and tried to set yourself free, but he didn’t even move a muscle.

“Get off!”

“Not until you tell me the truth”.

“What ‘truth’ d’you wanna know?”

“Why do you pretend to be heartless?” His question hit right home, right where your therapist had hit you thousand times already.

It was difficult to appear a heartless bitch to Chan, he saw right through you. And if you told him now… That would be a good way to start opening up, your therapist would admit it as progress. But could you really open up? Could you let him peek through your walls, the ones you had put long time ago to protect yourself from pain? Could you let him know everything so that he’d be able to hurt you?

Could you let yourself be vulnerable in front of your best friend?

“It’s easier”, you shrugged your shoulders. “Helps me live in this world”.

“You never told me why it’s easier”.

“There’s no reason”.

“Really? Your dad isn’t a reason either?”

“Why are you asking me all these weird questions, Chan?”

He let out an exhausted sigh. “Because I care about you, tiger. And I’m worried ‘cause you never share. I wanna help you, if you ever need me to”.

“Thanks. But I’m okay. No need to worry”.

He never asked again. You never brought it up. You had no clue he hadn’t accepted your answer, he was just waiting. Waiting till you came to him, tugged at his sleeve and let him take your pain and worries away by listening and being there, by letting you know that he wanted to hear everything you had to say. But you never did. And so he waited.

You didn’t know he chose that, but you decided to wait too. As long as it took for him to wake up, get better, you’d wait. For him, you’d wait for eternity.

A week and a half had passed since the accident. Chan was still unconscious.

The doctors said his concussion had caused such a condition and didn’t give any promises on when he would wake up. Just unclear prognoses to his parents, telling them he was stable enough to come back. They were hopeful; you tried to follow their example and put on reassuring smiles; Minho, on the other hand, started getting too realistic with his negativity. Eventually, he collapsed on the floor in the hospital room, sobbing, while you were sitting there too, trying to hug him, to help him let it out. Though, the two of you couldn’t even imagine how hard it was for his parents.

Taking your bag and closing your apartment door, you had yet another ride in the elevator to go straight to the hospital before work. Your boss was understanding enough not to penalize you for leaving on the day of the accident.

The underground, then the bus. A ten-minute walk to the hospital, talking to Chan’s parents, catching Minho before leaving, sharing breakfast with him. The usual ritual, the one you started getting used to, unfortunately.

However, today you came out of the bus thirty minutes before you regular schedule. With your punctuality issue, you wanted to appear strictly on time. And so the coffee shop you had always passed by on the way seemed like a good idea.

Not many customers, a couple of people occupying two tables respectively. Soft music was playing in the background, and the barista smiled at you, offering you their drink of the day.

“I’ll have a latte. With, uh, banana syrup”.

The girl at the counter said something about five minutes, and you nodded, taking a step back and started observing the menu absent-mindedly.

“You don’t change your coffee habits, do you?”

A very familiar voice. Furrowing your brows, you turned around to face grinning Yugyeom, whom you hadn’t seen for what seemed like eternity.

“Yugyeom?”

A stupid question to ask the man, standing in front of you in the flesh. But he nodded, the corners of his mouth still turned up. You returned the smile almost automatically, as you used to do, when the two of you were together.

“Are you in a rush?” He asked. “We could… talk”, he pointed at his table, and you nodded. Having asked the barista to bring you the cup, you sat down in the corner of the cafe, Yugyeom in front of you.

“Didn’t know you were back”, you uttered.

“Came back around seven months ago. I got a job offer here”.

“Where?”

The name of the company didn’t speak volumes to you, but it didn’t matter. For some reason, seeing his face during such a moment seemed like a message. Maybe everything would be alright.

“I heard what happened to Chan”, he continued, eyes glued to your face. “Are you okay?”

“Im fine”, you huffed, taking a sip of the coffee.

“You don’t have to lie”, his voice was soft, silky almost, and long time ago it drove you to dizziness all the time. “I know when you do”.

“Why didn’t you show up after coming back?”

Yugyeom tilted his head back and let out a laugh. “Changing the subject, as always”.

“I did it, so don’t change it back”.

He crossed his arms at the chest, his drink long forgotten. “I did show up. Turned up to your apartment complex, like an idiot-“

“How did you get my address?”

“Asked your parents”.

You sighed. Of course. “Why ‘like an idiot’?”

His mouth twisted; you knew he was being nervous when he did that. Why would he be nervous?

“‘Cause… I still hoped for something, y’know. We never… We never said it was over forever. So I thought, hoped we’d go back together eventually. And, uh, when I came back… I wanted to come back to you too”.

You lowered you head, watching yourself clenching and unclenching your fists. You two never drew the line in your breakup, really, but when two years had passed, you couldn’t wait for Yugyeom’s magical comeback anymore. And so the flings became relationships, endless circles of hell, until you reached the ninth, the one with the devil himself.

“So I bought your favourite flowers. Got dressed up, thought I’d take to the restaurant you wanted to go to when we were in college. And I was waiting for you”.

You cleared your throat. “You didn’t… We didn’t meet back then”.

“Yeah, we didn’t”, he nodded. ���I spent a couple of hours in my car. And then I saw you, coming out of the building. With Chan. Uh, I mean, that wasn’t a problem, you are friends after all, I thought. But when… When you two basically started, uh, making out on the car hood, it was pretty clear you… That you wouldn’t be delighted to see me”.

You felt your ears burning; holy shit. You remembered the night: it was the second week of your the new and still mysterious affair with Chris; the tension was so palpable you could cut right through it. It ended up with the two of you kissing everywhere, in any dark corner, where no one could see you. And you were scared someone would; however, you could have never imagined the person who actually did see you was Yugyeom.

Maybe if he did show up, interrupting you and Chan, maybe, you thought, you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. There would have been no tears, no emotionally draining sex, no breakup texts, and no accidents. Maybe Chan would have been at home now, quietly watching TV in safety. Not in a hospital room, injured, unconscious.

“I don’t know what to say, Yugyeom”, you muttered under your breath.

“Don’t say anything”, he asserted. “I’m not guilt-tripping you. It’s been too long. The fact that I haven’t moved on doesn’t mean you haven’t either”.

You were going to answer, but your phone started buzzing. Seeing the name on the screen, your heart skipped a bit, expecting to hear the worst.

“Minho?”

“He woke up. Come here now”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf

[yeommiedocs]

Emergency - Yugyeom (M)

Summary: Your friend with benefits doesn’t answer his phone so you decide to visit him.

Rating: Mature - smut

warnings/tags: idol!Yugyeom x female reader, friends-with-benefits, face riding

Word count: 0.9K

As you woke up you couldn't help but feel extremely horny. You looked to your right and read 10:30am on your alarm clock. Not wanting to be up this early you figuratively punched yourself and got up to take a cold shower. This did nothing but make you irritated so you picked up your phone to text Yugyeom.

You'd started your friends with benefits relationship two months ago and things were going strong, him calling when he needed you and vice versa. After 5 minutes of him not texting back you called him. By the third ring he hadn't answered and you were desperate at that point and decided to go over to his place and use your "in case of an emergency" key. 

Yugyeom had warned you not to use the key whenever you wanted to come over and to only use it when the situation was life or death. You could've just used your toys and you would've gotten to the same end-goal, orgasm. But you wanted and craved him; his aura, his smell, his dick. So you took a taxi twenty minutes to his house and unlocked the door. Nothing was heard, not even Dalkyum barking so you assumed he was staying over at Yugyeom's parents house.

This made your sneak up on Yugyeom especially easy and you walked toward his bedroom on your tippy toes just in case. Once you reached his room and peeked around the doorframe you saw Yugyeom sleeping peacefully. Hating to wake him from his slumber, you walked over to the bed and lightly sat on it. No matter how lightly you thought you sat on it, he was startled awake as if 10 lb. rocks were slammed next to him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked without opening his eyes well enough to clearly see you. 

"I'm horny and you weren't answering my text or call" you whine.

"That doesn't mean to just come over I told you the key is for-"

"emergencies" you both chanted, Yugyeom seriously while you were sarcastic.

"come on just this one time I used it for a non emergency, it won't happen again"

"so…?”

"Do you have a schedule today?"

"No" he said curtly.

"Good cause I wanna ride your face"

He rolled his eyes and said "why would I let you ride my face after waking me up this early." 

"Come on I have work at 1 and it's already 11:30"

"Beg for it and I might let you"

You pussy throbbed as you watched Yugyeom take off his shirt and pants. "Please Yugyeom, let me ride your face please " you pathetically begged. He was very much into making you beg for anything you wanted him to do to you. You knew that he was going to agree because he liked eating you out as much as you liked being eaten out.

He chuckled and was getting turned on so he allowed you to position your clothed pussy over his face. He breathed your scent in and almost came from that alone. He started to lap at your clit through your underwear and did it so expertly that you didn't understand how he had been asleep a few minutes ago. 

His hair was very messy but fluffy and you took the chance to pull at his hair and gauge his reaction this early in the morning, as you two hadn't ever hooked up this early in the morning. He groaned and moved your panties to have access to you with no fabric between his lips and your pussy. He started sucking on your clit and tongue fucking your hole.

You quickly got up and took your underwear all the way off and sat back on his face this time pressing your center on his mouth directly instead of him leading you there. “You taste so good” he spoke into your pussy and the vibration from his talking was driving you crazy. He started to hum which had you on the verge of coming in the beginning. Yugyeom knew how you got with vibrations on your clit so you knew he was doing it on purpose. You grabbed onto his hair again and pulled whenever he had you feel so good with his sucking on your clit and probing with his tongue as if he was digging for gold in your pussy.

"I'm gonna come" you said as your vision became blurred.

He entered a finger inside you while continuing to suck and lap at your clit wanting nothing more than to watch you come on his tongue. "Come for me baby" he groaned as he jerked himself a couple of times and then continued to rub on your ass and hips. Your hearing was distant, vision went completely blank, and you couldn't control your actions and you came on his tongue the hardest you had ever come before.

"Does that feel good?" he asked as he was still moving his fingers inside of your pussy. Yugyeom slowed his movements and then came to a stop, removing his finger, causing you to mewl. You swung your left leg over to the side to get off of him. You obviously knew that he was suffering while you felt good but you had work to get to work and it was 12 by the time you were able to catch your breath and rest for a couple of minutes. As you went in the bathroom, you knew that he was probably going to try and sneak into the shower with you for a quickie. That was fine with you though, as long as it was actually quick.

[hannieween]

neon lights | lights out series

Jeonghan had put what mattered most to him to be with you, and now that Joshua was finally coming to terms with the turmoil in his heart, Jeonghan had to face that too.

✮ pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 21.4k

› thank you @gyuhao5 for proofreading this for me 🩵

› 🎧: over you – haon | i want u around – yugyeom ft. de vita | mon amour – gemini | lock me in – hojean | good care – hhybs, asiatic.wav, and slchld | all i got – baekhyun | moonstruck – enhypen | one look – leo

→ season one — season two — read more

› warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: cheesy song lyrics that i had to compose, smut with plot, alcohol consumption, switch joshua, dom jeonghan, switch reader, long threesome scene, mlm action, degradation/praise kink, sloppy handjobs, mutual masturbation, heavy makeouts, blowjobs, face riding, pussy drunk joshua, fingering, cum play, cum eating, cum mixing, multiple orgasms, anal sex. pet names: princess, bunny, baby, good girl, (hers) handsome, babe (joshua & jeonghan)

✮ author's note: heyoooooooo (✿◠‿◠) it's here! it's finally here, i made it, we made it! i made it dkjgh. just as a reminder!! Bunny or Princess are stand ins for the Y/N nomenclature hehe. bye!

✮ acknowledgements: to @onlymingyus, @wonustars, @okiedokrie, thank you for keeping me up through this process, and for cheering me up when i had no hopes to get this fic out. thanks for staying w me and reading my fic 🥹🩵

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part vi

Three years before.

Joshua Hong was unattainable.

That is how Jeonghan saw him. He strode between the seas of people, waving, saying hi, smiling, and even pausing for a chat. Joshua was a rockstar. Even if he did not have a studio album, or was not signed to a label yet.

In his years of being in the theatre industry, getting to know so many people, so many divas, personas, alter egos, and so on and so forth, he had never met a natural, not like Joshua. He did not put up an act. He just shone wherever he went, and people gravitated towards him naturally.

It was his birthday, turning twenty-seven. Jeonghan threw him a surprise party under the excuse that it was a New Year’s Eve getaway. The party turned out to be a success, though he was the only one in the group of people gathered there who was having a bad time.

A girl happened to be sticking to Joshua’s side, she was pretty, fun, and lively. And also has had her eye on Joshua for a long time. Jeonghan did not need telepathy to know that Joshua would take her to his room upstairs. He could see it in his entire demeanor.

Jeonghan rented a nice house on the outskirts of the city. The open space gave him the chance to have a smoke. He sat on a bench near the bonfire. People resorted to either going to the jacuzzi, staying indoors, or on the terrace, keeping warm by the heaters.

Absentmindedly, his fingers trailed on the edges of the scar that was etched on the skin of his elbow, remembering the time Joshua painted a smiley face over it. Or the times he called early in the morning to ask how his recovery process was going.

Through the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the girl throwing her arms around Joshua’s neck, being reciprocated with his large hands on her waist. Joshua smiled, looking at her eyes, a slow smirk showing on his lips before he dipped his head, capturing her lips with his in a passionate, slow kiss.

Jeonghan’s insides twisted, yanking his gaze away from the intimate moment he had been prying on. But he could not help but sneak a look again, getting a glimpse of Joshua moving a hand from the chick’s waist to her chin, his lips kissing her bottom lip hungrily.

Misery swept all over Jeonghan. He should have known better. Before deciding to throw Joshua a party, he should have confronted the idea, or fact, that Joshua would have gotten a partner through the night.

Joshua then said something to the girl, seemingly excusing himself, turning towards the bench that was occupied by only one person.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan sighed, sticking the vape pen to his mouth to draw in a deep intake of the green apple flavor. As soon as he exhaled, he downed a generous gulp of gin and tonic. “Blegh.”

“If you hate gin and tonic so much, why have you downed three of these?” Joshua’s long fingers took the solo cup from Jeonghan’s grip, a smirk dancing on his plump lips as he took one sip from it.

To gather some courage. “It’s what gets me drunk faster,” Jeonghan said, clearing out space for Joshua to sit. He had been alone, looking at the partygoers without much care to strike up a conversation with anyone.

“Why are you getting drunk tonight?” Joshua let out a raspy sigh as he sat down beside him. “Mm?”

Jeonghan’s eyes widened, raising his eyebrows at his best friend. “I… don’t know yet,” he replied, removing his gaze from Joshua’s face with a tight feeling twisting his heart.

There was a clicking noise coming from Joshua’s mouth. “You know, I’m usually bad at communicating things,” Joshua spoke to the night sky, his dark eyes glimmering under the moonlight.

Shit. Jeonghan thought. There was no way out of this now.

“But…?” Jeonghan prompted. 

“But you’re usually not,” Joshua replied, lowering his gaze to meet Jeonghan’s. “What’s going on with you?”

“Tsk,” Jeonghan smirked. “Ah, it’s really nothing Joshuji. I want you to enjoy your party. I threw it for you,” he remarked.

“And I’m grateful,” he nodded, a shy but solemn smile drawn on his face. “You know, when I moved here, I didn’t know anyone. I was entirely alone and even though I made friends, I never thought I would be finding someone like you.”

“Like-like me?” Jeonghan breathed, his heart pounding nervously upon hearing his best friend’s words.

“Yeah, we understand each other, we have so much in common, and on top of that… you were kind to me. No one else was but you.”

“Aay,” Jeonghan smiled, shaking his head dismissively.

“I’m just being honest, Hannie,” he said, his voice turning echoey as he tipped the solo cup in his lips, taking in a gulp of Jeonghan’s drink. “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me.”

Joshua sucked in a breath pensively. “I am really bad at noticing things, but one thing I’m good at is noticing when something is bothering you.”

Jeonghan cursed this wavelength he shared with Joshua for a flashing thought. He could not hide from him, even when he wanted to.

“Why don’t you go back to that girl? We can talk about this later,” Jeonghan said, mustering up a light smile.

“I will if you come with me. She actually said she would be up for it,” Joshua arched the eyebrow adorned by a piercing, biting his smile.

The invitation was not rare to Jeonghan. Joshua and he had shared a partner a couple of times before. It was all fun and consensual sex, but Jeonghan thought that it was the worst idea he could ever agree to that night.

“Then don’t go,” Jeonghan whispered, hating that he did not have the guts to raise his voice any higher. “It’s true. Something’s changed.”

Joshua dropped his act, quitting the mission of uplifting Jeonghan’s mood at once. “Oh. What is it?”

“I think I…” Jeonghan’s shoulders went slack when he let out a big sigh. “Joshua, I like you.”

Joshua Hong froze, but there was an understanding in his eyes. “Mm,” he nodded, looking at the bonfire in front of them. “Since when?”

“Since that stupid Halloween party,” Jeonghan admitted with a hollow laugh, cursing at himself under his breath. He dropped his head forward, cradling it with his hands. “At first I thought it was nothing, that I was going crazy, but I can’t keep it anymore from you. I’m sorry.”

That Halloween party. Joshua thought it was the most fun he had experienced in one night. Jeonghan, ever the chaotic guy, burst into Joshua’s apartment, holding two perfectly identical black suits, a white button-up shirt, and dark sunglasses. ‘Wanna be the K to my J?’ And Joshua, ever the loyal friend, said yes without a second thought.

That night, Jeonghan knew for sure, he was falling in love with his best friend.

But, as the logs cracked in the bonfire, Joshua remained quiet. He has experienced this before with other people, friends that have grown feelings for him. He has turned so many people down that he lost count a long time ago. But this time… it deflated him painfully.

He watched his best friend lift his gaze, looking at the stars as if they held an answer for him. “I need you to tell me that nothing will ever happen between us, Joshua.”

Joshua knew that having a friend who had feelings for you counted as half a friendship. And Jeonghan knew that too, so it was better to face rejection now and walk away with his heart intact.

“Nothing will ever happen between us, Jeonghan,” he said, and it felt like a blow to his chest.

Jeonghan nodded, dropping his gaze to his own hands clasped tightly together. He had dreaded this answer. Granted, he did not expect to hear the opposite. But it still hurt. “That’s okay. I’ll move on. Take this as a goodbye party for us.”

There was a heavy silence between them that for the first time in months of knowing each other, they did not communicate. One heart was burdened with the weight of rejection. The other had a choice to make.

“But I still want us to be friends.”

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, turning his head to study his friend’s face. There, he found worry, his dark expressive eyes already glistening with loss.

“I mean, if-if you want to,” Joshua put quickly, shaking his head with a quick motion. “If you feel like you can’t be friends with me anymore, it’s okay. I will understand.”

Then Joshua dropped his gaze too, a detached manner surrounding his every move. It hurt, it hurt so bad. Joshua had just admitted how much he valued Jeonghan as a friend, and just like that, he was losing him in a moment.

Losing this friendship is what had been driving Jeonghan insane night after night after that Halloween party. The impossible choice that pushed him to lose his best friend forever, or continue living with the exhaustion of being unreciprocated.

“I think I’ll need some space to get over this,” Jeonghan said, his voice strangled by the painful feeling twisting his heart. Getting over Joshua would not be easy.

Jeonghan has had many partners throughout his life, but no heartbreak; he always kept himself guarded and everyone else at arm's length. Everyone except Joshua.

“I’ll give you whatever you need,” he promised at once, raising his gaze to match Jeonghan’s. “Tell me what you need, I’ll do it.”

At that moment, Jeonghan knew he had to renounce everything he felt for Joshua Hong. Whether it was attraction, a crush, or love, he would have to walk away from it. Jeonghan did not want to lose his best friend.

“I just need time,” Jeonghan tried to blink his pain away slowly. “I’ll forget about this, just give me time.”

Joshua nodded, full of certainty this time. He held out his pinky finger, raising his eyebrows once again. “You promise?”

Jeonghan looked at Joshua’s finger for one long second, then he looked at his eyes, lacing his pinky finger. “I promise,” he said, touching the pad of his thumb with Joshua’s in their secret way of sealing promises to each other.  

That night, Jeonghan made a promise not only to Joshua, but to himself as well. He would keep his heart well guarded until the right time came.

Now.

“You have one chance,” Jeonghan muttered pointedly, putting a hand on Joshua’s chest to help himself create some inches of distance. “Decide if this is what you truly want. Decide it now.”

Joshua frowned; firmly cupping the back of Jeonghan’s head still, not letting him go. “Wait,” he breathed, sucking in a breath as his brain started to swim. “I d-don’t know what I’m doing. I– I…”

“Then I think that we should stop. Right now,” Jeonghan replied, applying some pressure on his chest, but to no effect.

Joshua dared to open his eyes, shaking with a mixture of excitement and relief inside that it was hard for him to speak. “I don’t think I want to,” he blurted. “I- I don’t want to stop,” he decided, breathing raggedly still.

“You can’t do this, Joshua,” Jeonghan gritted, a part of him wanted to burst into a rageful bout again at him. “I can’t do this…” and then in a resigned way, he pleaded: “Don’t play with me.”

Joshua’s hand fidgeted on the back of Jeonghan’s head, slowly letting go of the hem of his hoodie. “I know—I know this is sudden,” Joshua whispered, licking his lips in nervousness. “Give me the chance to explain, please. I’ll tell you everything.”

At that Jeonghan desisted, ceasing to try and create some distance. While the fluttering sensation kept kicking inside him, the gears in his brain had started turning too. Joshua was his best friend; even if Jeonghan loved him, he could not let himself be the object of his exploration. If this failed…

“Is this what you truly want, Joshua?” Jeonghan reiterated with more urgency, his tone dropping to a mere whisper as well.

Joshua’s heart stilled for one second. In truth, the kiss had left him dizzy with overjoy and relief to find out the answer to the question he had been asking himself for weeks and maybe even, months. “It is,” he nodded, but then his brow furrowed. “Do you want to do this, Jeonghan? Do- do you still… Do you want me?”

Jeonghan mirrored him, placing a hand on Joshua’s nape as a sharp gasp left him. This time, they sealed their lips with an eager kiss, moving to explore each other. Jeonghan lifted his other hand, cupping his cheek to kiss him harder in euphoric fruition, eliciting a strangled moan from Joshua.

Kissing Jeonghan was sweet, even gentler than Joshua had ever dared to imagine all those nights as he watched and rewatched him with you in all those videos, and in real life. Joshua discovered that Jeonghan’s lips were soft, slotting between his perfectly, his tongue touching his in perfect sync.

“Should I take that as a yes?” Joshua exhaled softly raising his eyebrows in question.

“We have a lot to catch up with,” Jeonghan agreed with a tiny nod of his head. “But yes. The answer is yes.”

Jeonghan was nervous, his fingers trembling a little when he slid his hand from Joshua’s cheek to the nape, cupping the back of his head with both hands to then press a gentle kiss on his lips. Both of them were still solidifying their decision, giving each other shy, tentative kisses.

“I need to talk to Bunny,” Joshua blurted, pausing for air.  

“Don’t you mean we?” Jeonghan teased, smiling with the corners of his eyes.

“We need to talk to her,” he backed away reluctantly, still brimming with relief.

“Let’s go do that now,” Jeonghan motioned to the door, darting a look at his features to reaffirm that he was right. With a knowing smirk, he continued approaching the door, holding it open for Joshua.

“Yeah, okay,” Joshua gave one step to the door, then another, feeling lightheaded.

“We could take the elevator,” Jeonghan suggested, noticing the hesitant sway in Joshua’s movements.

As the doors slid close, Jeonghan crossed his arms, snorting out a laugh.

“Stop it,” Joshua warned.

“You really are full of surprises, Joshuji,” he teased, biting a cheeky grin.

Joshua slapped his best friend’s shoulder. “I told you to stop,” the tips of his ears were red.

“Alright, alright,” he stepped out of the elevator, calmly walking towards the apartment door.

There is no turning back now, Joshua thought, following Jeonghan down the hall, filling his tummy with one large gulp of air. Jeonghan was waiting for him, one hand on the handle ready to go in.

“Before we do this,” Jeonghan muttered, meeting his gaze. “Is there anything else you need to say to me?”

Biting his lip, he shook his head no. “Not right now,” he replied with another weary sigh. “Let’s do this.”

They exchanged a meaningful look, one that told years of knowing each other so well, that they were the extension of one another. This time, though, much like the last time they discussed their feelings, there was a gap between them. Joshua did not know what it was.

To Jeonghan, this was a fragile point in his friendship with Joshua. Granted, there were many times when he thought that the friendship would wane and come to an end. Ever since he found out about his feelings for you, a wall stood before him and Joshua, one that he would look over, or see through. But still, it was there.

But now, Joshua was finally tearing through that wall.

The moment was cut short when Jeonghan turned the handle, pushing the door open. Joshua’s expectations were quickly overturned when he found you standing on the kitchen floor, a hand flying to your chest.

“You startled me,” you gasped.

“Sorry, baby,” Jeonghan said with ease, casting an obvious look towards Joshua.  

Though not obvious to you. “I, uh… Listen, Josh,” you started promptly, looking at both your boyfriends with some shame showing in your features. “I owe you an apology.”

Joshua gaped at you as though he had forgotten how to speak. “What? No, baby, I should apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

Your shoulders went slack. “Oh, so you’re not thinking of quitting the band anymore?” you glanced at Jeonghan, who only looked suspiciously shifty.

“No,” Joshua exhaled. “Baby, why don’t you take a seat? So we can talk. All of us.”

You looked at both men in utter confusion, they looked different somehow. And the weight of the tension between them startled you. “What’s going on?” you asked with caution. “Can’t you tell me right here?”

“Let’s sit down,” Jeonghan urged, and the nervousness about him did nothing to calm yours.

You skirted between them to take a seat on the armchair, bringing your knees up to hug them as a coping mechanism to keep yourself together. Then waited quietly, heart beating faster upon having the realization that there was more than both your boyfriends were letting on.

“What’s going on?” you repeated, following them with your gaze as they took a seat next to each other on the couch. When they did not reply right away, your tummy started twisting with worry: “Wha-what is happening? Jeonghan?”

You had grown used to their wordless exchanges of communication but could never know what they were planning. That still irritated you.

Joshua opened his mouth, holding his breath as he formulated in his head how to say what had happened on the rooftop moments before. His eyebrows drew in, flashing a worried look at Jeonghan.

“You’re so fucking bad at this, Joshua,” Jeonghan reproached, locking his sweet brown eyes with yours. “Baby, listen calmly–,”

“Wait,” Joshua placed a hand on Jeonghan’s knee, commanding him to a halt at once. “Be gentle. Don’t do this how I think you’ll do it.”

“She can take it,” Jeonghan argued back, throwing an annoyed look at him.

Joshua rolled his eyes swiftly. “I know she can, but I know you’ll be blunt and–,”

“We actually have talked about this before–,”

Your mouth was hanging open at the quick exchange between them. “I’m confused,” you quickly cut in. “Talked about what? Why are you being weird? Both of you.”  

Joshua let out a sharp exhale in utter frustration. “I kissed Jeonghan. We kissed.”

A numb feeling came over your face, barely able to feel your eyebrows lifting. It took you more than two seconds to fully grasp what Joshua had said. It became clearer to you as the seconds rolled on, there was no explanation needed. But it was still hard to come up with an answer with so little information.

Jeonghan noticed first that you were looking for more than a one-sentence explanation. “Baby, there is no better way to tell you this, we were talking, and it just happened…”

Your mind was reeling, blood pulsing in your ears that it was hard to hear what Jeonghan was trying to explain to you. Light-headed, your eyes swam to Joshua, then to Jeonghan as he continued speaking. Worry flashed across Joshua’s features, he moved his hand from Jeonghan’s thigh and then to his shoulder.

“Just happened? You-you’re t-telling me that…”

“Baby,” Joshua cut in. “Jeonghan, wait–,”

“What does this mean?” you asked an ecstatic rush of blood making you shudder in your seat.

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” Joshua sent Jeonghan a short look and he nodded. “We came straight to you so we could talk about it.”

“Well, what do you want to do?” you asked both of them.

They went still as they exchanged another one of those long looks. “Listen,” Jeonghan started with a soothing tone, turning to Joshua. “You need to think if this is all part of your exploration. Because I’d hate to be used as part of your self-discovery if you decide down the line that this isn’t for you.”

Joshua’s shoulders went slack, exhaling softly through his nose. You knew it was hard for him to voice what he felt, but it became more difficult for you to follow what was happening since they just communicated with one meaningful look that took over one long and silent moment.

Then you saw it, the long look progressing between them, and whatever they communicated seemed to dawn on Jeonghan, his eyes widened, his bottom lip parting slightly in awe.

“Since when?” Jeonghan asked meaningfully, his tone was low and for a moment, you knew it was hard for him to even utter the sentence.

“I wish I knew,” Joshua blinked slowly, raising his eyebrows in a sign of frustration. “I want to say that since the night of the first threesome. But I’m not entirely sure that it wasn’t since before that.”

“Is this why you were confused all this time?” Jeonghan frowned slightly, you had never heard him use that voice. It was similar to the one he used whenever he had a serious conversation with you. But this time it sounded slightly thicker, as if he were choking with some emotion that you could not quite place.

Joshua only nodded, pressing his lips together in a tight line. His throat bobbed as he seemed to be trying to gulp down the same emotion as Jeonghan.

“And you’re sure this is not just part of what you are trying to explore?” he asked, drawing out the last word in a way that was meaningful between them. “Because if it is… I don’t think I can take it.”

“Hold on,” you intervened, leaning forward to try and capture their expressions, to read them both at the same time. “Please, explain to me what’s happening. I’m lost.”

“Listen, both of you,” Joshua straightened on the seat, pushing himself to the border of the couch, trying to direct himself at you and Jeonghan at the same time. “I am not sure when it started, but I know that I feel attracted to you both. I think I felt confused because it’s the first time something like this has happened.”

“So you never felt jealous of Jeonghan and I?” you inquired, tilting your head to one side.

“I did, I don’t know,” Joshua let out a giggle in utter shame, rubbing a hand on his flushed face. “I think I was, but at the same time I never did anything to really put a stop to it.”

“That was confusing to me too,” Jeonghan muttered between his teeth, turning his gaze away, and planting his elbows on his knees. “Remember I told you?”

Joshua nodded. “I think I would’ve gone insane if you had told me that you wanted a threesome with someone else,” he told you as though he could not stop himself. “And when I asked you if you had feelings for Jeonghan, I understood. I was jealous, yes, but I was also annoyed that Jeonghan could do that to me.”

At that, Jeonghan started laughing. Nothing was funny, but tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes.

Joshua gave him a worried look. “It took me some time to understand that.”

Jeonghan sighed, gathering an invisible tear with one lithe finger. You ignored him, given that you were either too bewildered to reproach him for his attitude or even to understand why he was laughing. “How did you? I mean, how did you understand that you also had an attraction to him?”

“Well…” Joshua drew in a breath slowly, gathering his words. “I went away, and you guys started sending me the videos…”

Then you understood the reason for Jeonghan’s crazed laughter. The man chuckled lightly again, shaking his head.

“Don’t make me whack you,” Joshua gritted at Jeonghan, but you could see a light spark of amusement in his eyes.

“Alright,” Jeonghan raised his hands in surrender. “But it is kind of funny,” he coughed, and Joshua clicked his tongue.  

Your gaze fixated on them, feeling obfuscated still. “Are you saying you realized how you truly felt because of the videos?”

“Part of it, yes. I think the other part, the most predominant one, was also being with you both,” Joshua said tentatively, tilting his head to one shoulder. “I couldn’t explain why I wanted to see Jeonghan with you. I used to think that I enjoyed watching you two together but now I know. I like being with you both.”

A part of you was thoroughly convinced that this was bound to happen. You did not know why, but this was not totally unexpected. Joshua was very vague with his reasoning when he told you he wanted Jeonghan to be included in your relationship.

But hearing him say it was totally different. It made you feel elated, as though there was nothing that could make your relationship better.

“And what do you want, Jeonghan?” you asked, shifting your gaze to him.

Your heart dropped upon remembering what Jeonghan told you some days before Joshua came back: he had to renounce his feelings for Joshua. You understood how Jeonghan must have felt when hearing Joshua’s confession; he did not want to be played with.

Jeonghan fidgeted, brushing his knuckles against each other. His eyes were fixed on the floor. “I think I want this, but I don’t want to lie, Joshua, I am a little weary of the sudden change. Because it feels very sudden to me,” he took one breath, mustering up strength. “I mean, how are we going to do this? Are you going to be able to manage this?”

There was a shared understanding of what he meant. Joshua had been struggling to keep the relationship away from the media’s following and the perusing from his fans.

“From my perspective, it makes things easier for me,” Joshua shrugged slightly, pushing his bottom lip outward in a pout. “It gives me the chance to really allow myself to express what I feel.”

“So, do you want to keep it a secret too?” Jeonghan asked, and you understood what his inner conflict was.

“I want to keep both of you away from the public’s attention as much as possible,” Joshua explained, keeping a soothing tone.

Jeonghan eased back into the couch, nodding slightly with his head. “Okay, then,” he whispered to Joshua, then turned his gaze back to you. “Are you okay with this, princess?”

There it was, the reason why you loved them both. They could be a chaotic mess, but they would always agree on prioritizing how you felt.

“Of course I am,” you showed them a small smile, pushing yourself to your feet to approach them, standing in between them. They raised their gazes to look at you in an almost perfect sync. “There is nothing I would love more than the two of you figuring out your feelings for each other.”

“Are you sure, baby?” Joshua asked, gently grabbing your hand to kiss your knuckles, keeping his dark eyes on you. “We want you to feel comfortable with this.”

“I’m sure,” you nodded. “I want what’s best for us. I’m happy as long as we’re all on the same page.”

A small smile drew on Jeonghan’s face. Despite the initial nervousness he showed you, he looked pleased with your reaction. You ran a hand through the dark hairs of his long fringe, making him blink repeatedly.

“Is that settled then?” you asked meekly.

Jeonghan turned his head to look at Joshua, whose tired eyes turned remorseful. He squeezed his hand before he bent to give your knuckles another kiss. “I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I should’ve never spoken to you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you replied, returning the squeeze to his hand. “I pushed you to talk about it. It’s–,”

“It’s not okay,” he quickly cut in, but he was sweet about it. His tone was honeyed, and his eyes glistened as he glanced at you and Jeonghan. “I’m just too stressed, I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.”

“We need to think of something, Joshua. You can’t just let your feelings bottle up,” Jeonghan said, but then, he coughed up a laugh. “Well, both of you.”

“Me?” you asked with a high-pitched giggle, making them smile at you. “I agree,” you said with a more serious tone. “I am trying to not do that anymore, you know?”

“We know, princess,” Jeonghan replied sweetly to you.

“I’m trying too,” Joshua said, then sighed.

“Have you heard of something called therapy?” Jeonghan joked, emitting a low chuckle when Joshua deadpanned at him, threatening to use his other hand to whack him. “Ah—Okay, I’ll stop! Don’t need to get violent!”

“I don’t get it, why not put the suitcase on the bed? It makes things easier!” Jeonghan said with a smile, sitting down on the pillows of the bed, leaning back against the headboard, phone in his hand, but his eyes were on you.

“Suitcase dirty, bed clean,” you replied, bringing a hand to your mouth to suppress a yawn.

“Oh, are you feeling sleepy, princess?” he noticed, a smile stretching on his lips. “I told you to pack everything earlier, you could be taking a nap.”

“I had that thing with Yena and then you guys surprised me…” you shrugged, folding things on your lap before putting them in the carry-on. “I’m almost done,” you gasped, making Jeonghan shoot you a glance. “I forgot that you asked me to trim your hair!”

Jeonghan’s shoulders relaxed. “Ah, princess, forget it,” he said. “I’ll just wait until we get back.”

You shook your head, shaking your palm frantically too. “No, no, no, let me finish packing and I can do it,” you said, folding your clothes a bit faster.

“It’s okay,” he insisted, discarding his phone on the bedside. “I need to go back to mine to pack a bag too.”

“So you’re not staying tonight?” you asked, wide-eyed in disappointment.

“I don’t want to drive all the way there and back,” he drew his eyebrows inward when you pouted at him. “What? Why are you making that face?”

“I thought you were staying the night with us,” you reproached, keeping your pout until your eyes started to water, completing a full sulky act. “Please stay.”

“But I have to pack my things too!” he replied, now chuckling at your childishness.

“Joshua can lend you clothes!”

At that moment, Joshua was returning to the bedroom, pocketing his phone in the pocket of his baggy jeans. “What’s up?” he asked, eyeing you and Jeonghan curiously.

You pointed at Jeonghan with one finger. “He’s not staying the night!” you said impishly, making Jeonghan laugh out loud.

“I need to pack my shit!” he argued back, keeping the light chuckle on.

“You don’t need it!” you said, trying not to laugh at yourself. “Joshua can lend you things.”

“I need my passport, princess,” Jeonghan said before Joshua could agree to your idea, which he was getting ready to do.

“Ah, that’s right,” you conceded with a sigh. You got up from the floor, reminding yourself to pocket your passport too. One of the drawers from your closet was the designated place for things that did not belong anywhere else entirely. That is where you keep your passport. “I made space in one of the drawers for you ages ago, Hannie.”

You sneaked a look at the man still lounging on the pillows of your bed. He looked panicked for a second, his mouth forming a syllable that he could not voice out. “I, uh, I forget to bring stuff in.”

Joshua noticed the same thing you did on Jeonghan’s face, a knowing look crossing his features. “You could leave some things here. It would save you the trips back to your apartment.”

Jeonghan gaped at Joshua for a second, but you were quicker. “Or you could move in,” you threw in abruptly, the words bouncing off your tongue so unexpectedly that you almost clamp a hand over your mouth.

Joshua glanced at you curiously. “True,” he said, keeping a loose demeanour as he walked over to the closet and pretended to fish out a clean t-shirt for himself. “You know, we’re in the brink of being booted out of here. We could start looking at options.”

A light frown appeared on Jeonghan’s perfect face, his eyes deadpanning from you to Joshua. You could hear the gears of his brain turning from the corner of the bedroom you were standing on. You fidgeted with the sleeves of your sweater, dropping your gaze to the floor before muttering: “I’m already looking at options.”

At that, Joshua could no longer keep his act, he blinked slowly, letting out a characteristic airy chuckle. “For us three?”

“Yeah,” you admitted bashfully. “I was thinking…”

Joshua stopped pretending to busy himself arranging things from his drawer and turned around so he could look at you and Jeonghan, who remained frozen, his face painted in pure bewilderment. “Go on?”

You sighed, dropping your fidgeting hands to your sides. You paced to the bed, crawling on it with your hands and knees cutely. “Well,” you sat back on your hunches, next to Jeonghan. “You spend a lot of time here already, Hannie. And Josh will finish his tour in a week and will be spending more time home,” you shrugged coyly. “I want it to be us three, you know?”

There was a silence, one that Joshua did not dare interrupt, but Jeonghan was silently agape. The frown on his face told Joshua that Jeonghan might have not been ready for a proposal like yours.

“Why don’t we leave this conversation for when I get back from touring?” he asked, keeping his tone cool. “We could go apartment hunting together.”

You caught the misdirect, nodding your head dumbly. “I’d like that,” you replied, sending a swift glance at Jeonghan, who still lay motionless beside you.

Joshua concealed a smile by turning his back on both you and Jeonghan, continuing to gather the things he intended to pack and those that needed a wash before packing them up too. He was unaware of Jeonghan stretching an arm, reaching out to give you a gentle caress on your thigh, snapping you from a trance.

“Help me trim my hair?” Jeonghan asked softly, drawing invisible lines with the pads of his fingers on your skin.

You looked at his pouty mouth and showed him a smile. “Of course, Hannie.”

“Are you okay with this, baby?” Jeonghan asked, following you inside the bathroom.

“I am, Hannie,” you said, motioning to the bathtub. “Sit.”

“Here. I grabbed them from your desk,” Jeonghan said, handing you a pair of scissors as he sat on the rim of the bathtub.

You grabbed them, giggling at how determined he looked. “This won’t do, Jeonghan,” you told him softly, putting the scissors on the sink’s countertop. “We have proper shears,” you said as you opened the mirror cabinet, taking the shears, a hand towel, and a comb.

“Ah, silly me,” he muttered, but you noticed his eyes were trained on every movement you made, wandering from your hands to your face.

“Yeah, silly you,” you replied with a soft smile. “I told you to get an appointment with the hairdresser.”

“I know you did. I forgot,” he said, his gaze trailing to the rest of your body. His teeth sunk on his bottom lip, that was how you knew he was trying to conceal a smirk.

“Did you?” you arched a brow, smiling with him when he could no longer hold it in.

“I trust you more with this,” he said with ease, even adding a small shrug.

“Please don’t get your hopes high. I’ve only ever done this once and it was to myself,” you sighed, running the comb through his hair. “Hannie, look down,” you said, giggling when you nearly poked his eyes with the teeth of the comb.

“Right,” he cleared his throat, tearing his gaze from you.

“Here I go,” you whispered, starting to trim down the edges of his hair.

The blades of the shears made a nice metallic sound, pairing with Jeonghan’s breathing. He sat still for you, his hands resting on his thighs.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, baby?” Jeonghan asked, speaking quieter than before. His eyes were still lowered, but you could tell that he wanted to glance at the expression on your face.

You paused halfway through, but without removing the shears so he had no chance to move. You understood then that he did not intend on trimming his hair. This was what he had wanted to achieve from the beginning, to get you two alone to talk about the recent turn of events.

“Why wouldn’t I be, Hannie?” you asked softly at first, resuming to trim his fringe.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled quietly. “All I’m thinking is that if this is sudden to me, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you.”

“It’s also sudden to me,” you conceded with a hushed tone, worried that Joshua might hear from the bedroom. “But I think this is best for us.”

“Really?” he asked, but you knew this was the kind of questions he made to keep you talking before he got to the point.

“Yes, really,” you replied sweetly, ruffling the hairs of his fringe.

“Do you really think that?” he pressed, but there was no concern in his tone. He sounded almost surprised.

“I think that perhaps you both wanted this since before I came to the picture, you know?” you mumbled, focusing on trimming his fringe evenly.

“Even when I told you I didn’t have feelings for Joshua anymore?”

You paused. When you told Jeonghan about your argument with Joshua, his immediate response was to do whatever was within his ability to fix it, to make it all better for him. You did not know how their conversation happened, but you knew that Jeonghan would have done anything to break Joshua out of his anxious mind.

“Jeonghan, I know you’re sure about your feelings and I don’t want to question that…” you smiled to yourself, a distant feeling of déjà vu creeping in the back of your mind. “But I’ve seen the way you look at him. There are some things you can’t lie about.”

You lowered your hands to your sides, finally allowing him to raise his gaze to meet your eyes. He smiled softly. “Oh yeah? And how is that exactly?” he teased.

“You know how,” you shrugged meekly, trying to make the conversation end there. But he kept looking at you, expecting a real answer. “Sometimes you give him the same looks you give me,” you finished with a smile.

“Well, I just have one pair of eyes!” he said, chuckling playfully. “What can I do? I can’t give him different looks-,”

“I mean, you’ve told me that you think he’s sexy. You admitted that you liked him years ago. And you share a bed with him and me. Maybe those feelings never left, maybe…” you giggled nervously when he had to bite his smile to keep himself from laughing with you. “Maybe those feelings just went dormant for a time.”

“Oh, you really are an expert, huh?” he quipped, his gaze followed you as you covered your face in shame, laughing with him.

“I’m just saying that I don’t think it’s bad that you have always felt a certain way for him. It’s okay,” you reassured.

“So you’re really okay with this?” he asked, lowering his tone to a more serious one.

You nodded quietly, brushing his long hair with your fingers. “This will be good for us.”

Jeonghan raised a hand to find the curve of your waist, pulling you carefully to plant a kiss on your tummy over your clothes. “Thank you, princess,” he muttered, still locking eyes with you. “I never imagined this would happen. So I guess I should thank you for being so supportive.”

“Don’t thank me, Jeonghan,” you smiled. “This might be sudden but I’m sure we’ll work it out. I know you are on the fence on this still. But maybe just give him the opportunity to show you. You know how hard it is for him too.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jeonghan mumbled, staring off at the distance.

“That is the truth,” you said matter-of-factly, smiling sweetly at him before booping his nose with the tip of your finger.

“What is?” he asked dumbly, finding your eyes again.

“I am always right.”

Jeonghan grabbed his phone from your bedside table and his car keys, glancing your way curiously. He clicked his tongue, smiling when he realized you were still sulking. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said with a flat tone.

“I’m not looking,” you replied meekly, turning away to pace back to the living room, knowing he would be tagging along behind you.

“Tsk,” without looking, you knew the smile on his face was wider as he said: “You’ll see me tomorrow first thing in the morning.”

“I know,” you rolled your eyes as you got to the living room.

“Then why are you sulking? What did I do now?” Jeonghan asked behind you.

Joshua lifted his head when he heard you approach. He was sitting on the couch, his acoustic guitar sitting on his thigh.

You crossed your arms, shrugging. “Nothing,” you mumbled, but stood some steps before him as he grabbed the handle to the front door with one hand.

Jeonghan straightened up. “Well then, I’m gonna go now, and if you don’t tell me what is upsetting you right now, then you’re going to have to wait until the morning.”

“What, you don’t do phone calls now?” you retorted.

“Nope. I’m not picking up the phone tonight, I need my beauty sleep,” he joked, but when you did not even show him the tiniest of smiles, he turned the door handle. “I’ll be going now, in three… two…”

Joshua smiled from where he sat, watching the whole exchange while knowing Jeonghan was just playing with you, and that you would fall right into the game.

Jeonghan twisted the handle and cracked the door open just a bit, the mischief in his eyes shining more when you dropped your hands on your sides exasperatedly.

“Fine!” you snapped. “I’ll tell you, just–close the door, okay?” you stammered.

The door was closed quietly and Jeonghan dropped his hand, turning to face you with a grin on his face. “I’m listening,” he cooed triumphantly.

You gaped at him for a long second, then deadpanned over to Joshua, who bit his lip to avoid smiling one more time. He knew you well, probably better than Jeonghan, so he knew that you had been letting some thoughts sit in your mind for a time. Those thoughts begin to bother you over time, showing in your every action.

Joshua shrugged slightly, figuratively stepping aside, and pushing you to speak from the heart, although he suspecting what was bothering you already. And Jeonghan started to suspect too.

You sighed in resignation, shying away slightly by pretending to scratch and invisible itch on your forehead. “You haven’t brought clothes yet,” you mumbled.

Joshua snorted quietly.

“Shut up,” you hissed, sending him a bashful look. He showed you his palms in truce, setting his guitar on its stand, and deciding to keep being witness to your conversation with Jeonghan.

“I’ve forgotten to do it,” Jeonghan replied, furrowing his brow a little. “You’re mad because I haven’t brought a change of clothes yet?”

“I emptied a drawer for you weeks ago,” you extended an arm, pointing to the direction of the bedroom.

Jeonghan’s mouth fell open a little, then he chuckled lightly. “Princess don’t tell me this is the reason why you’ve been pouting at me.”

“What if it is?” you lifted your chin a little in indignation.

“I told you I’d bring some clothes, but I forget,” he said, sending a meaningful look at Joshua.

“I’m not helping you on this one,” Joshua replied.

Jeonghan clicked his tongue once again. “Really?” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, I’ll bring in some clothes with me next time. Happy?”

“We’ll see,” you huffed, but your features broke into a meek smile. “I just wanted you to stay the night,” you admitted.

“I know,” Jeonghan said, rolling his eyes. “But it’s been a chaotic day, and I haven’t packed my things yet. I really need to go now.”

“Alright,” you conceded at last and reached out to wrap your arms around Jeonghan’s torso.

Joshua giggled softly, watching from where he sat the way you tilted your head back to receive a small kiss from Jeonghan. His stomach twisted slightly as he watched Jeonghan make a trail of pecks from your forehead to your nose, finishing with a kiss on your lips. It seemed for a second that this was something of a routine for you.

Jeonghan cupped your face with his hands, looking at you for a short moment. “Love you,” he muttered softly.

At that, Joshua blinked away, wondering why he felt like intruding in the moment. “I love you too,” he heard you reply in a small tone, almost as if shy.

Nervously, Joshua looked up again, finding Jeonghan’s eyes flitting on his direction. Neither of them said anything, they just exchanged glances, trying to communicate something that still escaped both of their understanding.

The moment reverted Joshua to that night in front of the campfire, when Jeonghan first confessed his feelings for the first time. That night, they were both on very different pages when it came to their feelings. And now it no longer felt the same, but there was a lot to reconcile.

Joshua understood, and gave a tiny nod, which Jeonghan reciprocated with a tight smile, he opened the door and stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

You turned around, a confused look in your face. “Do you think he’s okay?” you asked innocently, shuffling towards the couch.

“Let him be,” Joshua said, reaching out for your hand as you came closer. “He’s okay.”

“Mmm,” you hummed thoughtfully, letting Joshua tug your hand, motioning to sit on his lap. “Was I hasty in inviting him to live with us?”

Joshua wrapped his arms around your body as you snuggled up to his. “A little,” he said softly, giggling at the worried expression on your face. “He knows that you were thinking about it way before we kissed. But I think that he and I need to work some things out before he decides on moving in with us, baby.”

“Yeah,” you said deflatingly, looking away. “Maybe I rushed again,” you brought your hands to your face, covering it in utter shame.

Joshua giggled sweetly, lacing his fingers as he hugged your body tightly to his. “Just give him some time, he’ll say yes.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” you mumbled, parting your fingers to sneak a look at him.

“No, but I know that he needs some time to warm up to the idea,” he said, and finding your expression cute he smiled, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“Ugh, I feel bad now,” you sighed, dropping your hands from your face.

“Don’t worry. He’s probably playing hard to get,” he added, expecting you to smile, but you started biting your lip, eyes lost on the distance. “Hey,” Joshua mumbled softly.

“Yeah?” you replied, looking back to him.

“Don’t overthink it, baby,” he said, squeezing your body gently with his arms. “He’ll say yes.”

You nodded, bringing a hand to cup his cheek, running the pad of your thumb on his skin lovingly. “How are you Josh?” you asked meaningfully, reading his face.

“I’m okay,” he replied with a sweet tone, knowing that you were looking to have a deeper conversation with him. “I’m truly sorry about the way I spoke to you earlier.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it,” you mumbled, taking your fingers to thread his brown hair. “Are you feeling better now?”

He blinked a couple of times when your fingernails scratched his scalp softly. “I feel less stressed, baby,” he conceded, but then he looked away, gathering his thoughts before adding: “I think I need to put more limits between my life and my career.”

“Why?” you asked, your tone low but sweet. You looked at him carefully, admiring the quiet calm in his entire demeanour. “What’s happening, Josh?”

He sighed, his gaze returning to your features. “I just feel like life is slipping away too fast and I am too slow to catch it.”

You hummed, weighing in his words while looking at his face. “What if what’s happening is not for you to catch it but just watch it pass by, savoring what’s really important?”

His features were taken over by a smile, one that you loved seeing on his face. It was fond and full of sweet love for you. He brought a hand to your face, pinching your nose gently. “You’re right, bunny.”

You sighed. “I always am.”

You woke up some minutes before your alarm went off.

Joshua had an arm draped over your waist, the other was tucked under your head, his bicep forming a dull pillow for you. Unaware of how long you had been laying like this, you tried turning over, facing your boyfriend who slept soundly. He decided to go to bed without a shirt on, so you were now face to face his bare chest, his pecs bulging some inches from your nose.

Without much thinking, you closed the distance, pressing a kiss on his chest, where his heart was. You nuzzled his chest with your face, breathing in the smell of his skin, enjoying the warmth he radiated. Slowly, you felt him stir back to life, waking up to your small acts of affection.

“Mmn,” he began, his hands searching your body to hug you closer. “What time is it?”

“Morning sleepy head,” you cooed softly, pressing another kiss on his chest. “It’s nearly five AM.”

“We gotta go?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, we gotta go,” you tilted your head back to look at his face. “We have meet with Hannie in thirty minutes.”

“Five more minutes,” he whispered, blindly finding your face with his lips, pressing them on your forehead.

“Okay,” you breathed, but you knew it would be more difficult for you to slip back into your dreams. That was something you would envy from Joshua, his ability to sleep whenever and wherever. But now, you just enjoyed watching him sleep, his soft breathing sounds the way his eyelashes seemed to tremble slightly as he slept.

Your fingers itched to reach out and caress his face, to outline the beautiful curve of his lips. For a moment, the love you felt for him brimmed so abundantly that you ached to grab his face and kiss it, interrupting his sleep again. But you stopped yourself, knowing that the alarm would go off soon, and he would get to lay in the peaceful bundle of warmth with you.

You thought of everything that went down last night, the conversations, Jeonghan, everything from the moment you met him. Part of you wondered if Joshua was as amazed as you were at the recent turn of events. Deep down, you knew something like this was bound to happen ever since the idea of starting a polycule was presented by Joshua, but the fact that it had actually come to pass was a bit astonishing to you.

But you were happy that Jeonghan and Joshua had found an opportunity to air their feelings out. Somehow, you found it funny that they seemed to always find a way to fall together.

The alarm finally went off, and you turned over to reach for your phone on the nightstand to turn it off and turned again to face him. “Five more minutes?” he asked, letting out an airy giggle. “I don’t want to get up,” he mumbled, closing his arms around you tightly, pushing your face to his chest.

“I know, babe, but we have to, or we’ll miss our plane,” you muttered against the tight crevice between his pecs.

Joshua laughed at the muffled sound of your voice. “Why did we have to get the tickets this early in the morning?” he whined, but sounded more awake now.

“To avoid being seen? And also, we need to accommodate in the room, have lunch and you need to rehearse before your show tonight,” you reminded him, trying to create some inches between his chest and your face to take a fresh gulp of air. “Babe, come on, let’s go.”

“Okay, alright,” he smiled, shocking you with the way he was beaming some minutes after waking up.

“You’re in a chirpy mood,” you pointed as he let you go from his tight embrace. Rolling out of bed, you heard him click his tongue. “I mean it, you’re never this energetic as soon as you wake up.”

“I’m just happy to be finishing the tour already,” he sighed, jumping out of bed too.

“Mmm-huh,” you teased as you removed your sleep-wear.

“I’m serious,” he sighed happily. “The sooner I am done with this tour, the sooner I am back home.”

“Okay, yes, but are you sure you’re not also happy because of a certain someone?” you sneaked a look as you clasped a clean bra behind your back.

Joshua wrinkled his nose as he fixed the bedsheets and covers on the bed. “No,” he replied but the smile on his face betrayed him. “Well, maybe.”

“God, you two,” you clicked your tongue, shaking your head lightly as you changed your pants.

Joshua paced to where you stood, right before the wardrobe as you finished putting on your clothes. He circled an arm over your lower back, pulling you closer. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” he mumbled, his morning voice sweet and low, but slightly raspy.

“Mmm, I have to admit it’s slightly surprising but, you know what?” you tilted your head back to see him. “I’m happy you guys are trying this out,” you said, wrapping your arms around his bare torso. “I think it’ll work out.”

“Yeah, me too,” he smiled softly, leaning his face so he could press a loving kiss on your forehead. “Me too, baby.”

The hotel room that Jeonghan had booked for you was so spacious that it did not seem intended for two people alone. “Why are there rose petals on the bed?” you asked upon arriving to the room and immediately deciding to explore it.

“I told the front desk we’re newly married,” Jeonghan said with a low chuckle.

“Why?” you asked slowly.

“For funsies,” he shrugged, pushing his sunglasses up to the crown of his head. “They gave us the bigger room, with a jacuzzi in it.”

“A what?” you blurted, looking at Jeonghan as he opened the double doors that you had suspected lead to the bathroom, which was spacious enough to host a jacuzzi, which was also adorned with two swan-shaped towels sitting on the brim.

“Pffft,” Jeonghan laughed at the towel swans, which were forming a heart as well.

“This is going overboard, Hannie,” you crossed your arms, sending a look at him when he smiled mischievously.

“You said no to jacuzzi sex, right?” he asked, trying to keep his expression blank, but broke into a laugh when you just glared at him. “Alright, alright, what do you want me to do? They gave us the bigger bed because I said we’re married!”

You conceded with a smile of your own. “I’ll tell you what you could do,” you shifted on your feet, walking away from the large bathroom and returned to the suite. “Buy me a ring next time, since you two love to rave about marriage.”

“What?” you heard him tagging along behind you. “You’re telling me Joshua has done this too?”

“Mm-huh,” you sighed, opening your bag to retrieve your laptop, placing it on the desk that was pushed to the corner of the suite and sat down.

“Really?” he sighed, and you tried to bite back a smile.

There was a knock on the door that made Jeonghan straighten his back, already knowing who it was. Joshua had been busy in rehearsals, and the flight over had been so short that Jeonghan had little opportunity to actually see and talk to him.

With visible hesitation, Jeonghan shuffled towards the door, opening it and turning his back right away. You looked at him through the corner of your eye, sinking your teeth on your bottom lip a bit harder upon seeing his blank face.

“Hi, handsome,” you chirped, looking at him cross the door of the suite with a confused look on his face.

“Hi, beautiful,” he replied, matching your tone. He glanced Jeonghan’s way once before approaching you. “Why did we get the luxury suite?” he asked, leaning down to place a kiss on your cheek.

“Ask Jeonghan,” you smiled at him.

Joshua frowned lightly and nodded. “Got work?” he motioned to the laptop, which you rarely used since you preferred working on your PC at home.

“Yeah, I have to review my draft before handing it over,” you sighed. After your chat with Yena, you agreed that you would turn in your first draft for the second book. You were submitting it on time, although there were some things you were not thoroughly content with, you could work them out later in the second revision.

“Okay,” he whispered, giving you a reassuring smile before lifting his gaze to find Jeonghan.

Jeonghan had opened the sliding doors to the balcony, where he perched his elbows on the banister, leaning over it to look at the city below him.

“Go talk to him,” you encouraged Joshua with a soft tone, seeing the reluctance in his eyes.  

“Yeah, I…” he breathed in, fixing his clothes awkwardly before stepping out on the balcony with Jeonghan, closing the door to give you some privacy to work and for them to talk. “Hey,” he muttered softly.

Jeonghan eyed him curiously. “Hi,” he mumbled.

There was a long pause, longer than Joshua would have liked, since he did not do well with deep conversations, especially those that required him to talk about what he felt first. But something had been bothering him ever since he sat with you and Jeonghan to talk about where the polycule would head, now that he had taken the decision to articulate his feelings for Jeonghan.

Seeing that this would be one of those moments, Jeonghan waited, redirecting his gaze to the city before them. They had a view to the ocean, so vast and mirroring the darkness of the heavy clouds above that announced an upcoming rain. The cold breeze also told him that much, brushing his hair back, blowing the flaps of Joshua’s plaid shirt.

“I uh…” Joshua looked back, seeing you focused on your work. He remembered the night when he realized he was falling in love with you, the pressure in his chest threatening to burst. Then he looked back at Jeonghan, and it felt differently. Like a calm ebb and flow that had been there for as long as he could remember. It was the familiarity he felt looking into those sweet brown eyes, the reassurance.

So he took a deep breath, knowing that his heart was safe, as long as he spoke truly. “Jeonghan, I know that you’re still weary of all this, of the suddenness of it,” he smiled despite himself, his nerves were making his voice quiver. “But I like you, I don’t know for how long I have, but I just wanted to tell you this to offer you some reassurance.”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, focusing on Joshua’s face for a moment before he turned to look at the wild waves lapping against the shore below. He nodded his head, weighing in Joshua’s words in silence.

“I want to see where this goes, not as a form of exploration, I don’t think I need to explore anything…” Joshua breathed in, turning so he could lean his back against the banister. He saw you back inside the hotel suite, and like a work of magic, your eyes found him too.

A meek smile drew on your face, and you scurried back onto your work. Joshua found himself smiling too.

“I’m ready for this,” he muttered softly, turning his head so he could get a glimpse of Jeonghan, who remained leaning on the banister, his elbows safely planted on it. His fingertips were tracing shapeless patterns on the scar in his elbow.

Slowly, Jeonghan stood up straight, his hands grabbing the banister firmly, as though that served as some kind of anchor. He thought what he wanted to say, what his heart felt ever since Joshua kissed him. There was a strange feeling running amok in his mind, one that he had only felt once in his life; the only other time he felt like this was the first time he kissed you. 

Jeonghan sent his gaze over the horizon, knowing that he only felt this way because this mattered to him. Joshua was his best friend, and upon looking into his doe eyes, Jeonghan saw the certainty in them, the quiet reassurance.

“If you say you’re ready, then I am too,” Jeonghan said, hating the fact that it did not take too long for him to yield, just one look at Joshua’s doe eyes and it was game over for him. So he had to do what he knew best, be a tease. He pointed one finger at Joshua’s face. “But if you screw this over, I will kill you.”

Joshua tilted his head back, releasing a sweet giggle that drove your gaze back to the balcony. “It won’t come to that,” Joshua said, his eyes turning into half moons.

“Well, consider yourself warned, so don’t even think about it,” Jeonghan joked, chuckling too. But his gaze fell upon Joshua’s dashing smile, the half-moon eyes, the tips of his ears growing red. The laughter died down, and he could no longer hear his own thoughts, just the ebb and flow of the ocean in the distance.

“Can I kiss you?” Joshua asked ever so softly.

Jeonghan would have died if Joshua had not asked that. He nodded eagerly, despite having nearly thrown a tantrum mere seconds ago. He leaned towards Joshua, meeting halfway through with a small kiss of pressing lips.

Both of them wondered if you were being witness to this, but the thought simply dissipated upon meeting their lips once again. Joshua hummed softly into the kiss, lifting one hand to cradle the back of Jeonghan’s head, pulling him for a deeper kiss.

Truth was, you had not stopped watching since you heard Joshua laughing. You kept a discreet eye on them as they talked, just as you always did, you liked watching them move in perfect synchronicity, the way they seemed to anticipate what the other said, their eyes never quite leaving each other. They spoke and moved with one mind.

So seeing them sharing a kiss ignited a part in you that you did not know existed. As the kiss deepened, they searched each other with their hands, Jeonghan grabbed Joshua’s wrist, his thumb swiping a line on the interior of his wrist, caressing softly. Joshua tangled his fingers in the dark mane of hair, both exchanging sweet hums as they tasted each other’s mouths.

“I always wondered,” Jeonghan whispered, his lip curling a little in a shy smile.

“What?” Joshua asked.

 “How your lips would feel like.”

Joshua smiled into the kiss, robbing him of air when Jeonghan rolled his tongue into his mouth expertly, drawing out a moan from him. “Same. I wondered too,” he rasped.

“Is that why you were looking at me funny the other day?” he inquired, but then a chuckle came out of him when he knew the answer. “Oh, you idiot.”

“What?” Joshua giggled. “Would you have preferred me to kiss you then?”

Jeonghan thought about it for a long second. “No, I don’t think so,” he replied. “I panicked when you first kissed me. I don’t think I would’ve reacted the same way if Bunny had been there.”

“True,” Joshua agreed. “I think that’s why I didn’t do it either.”

“Tsk, idiot,” Jeonghan whispered.

Joshua just smiled. “I have to get going. Show is starting in two hours,” he said.

“Get going, then,” Jeonghan replied, motioning to the door. “Bunny and I will be there shortly.”

Joshua sneaked a look back at you, finding that you had been snooping all along.

Jeonghan followed the line of vision to you. “Did she see…?”

“Everything, she saw everything,” Joshua smiled, patting Jeonghan on the shoulder once. “Come on.”

Jeonghan followed to the suite, where you pretended to be focused on your screen, reading your manuscript. “Ah, princess, didn’t you say it was urgent that you submitted your draft?” Jeonghan teased.

“It is urgent,” you nodded, but you looked away quickly, biting your bottom lip.

“Why are you blushing, bunny?” Joshua joined, laughing at the meek expression on your face, trying to hide yourself with your hands.

“You look distracted, baby,” Jeonghan leaned over where you sat, looking at you with a knowing expression.

“Stop it,” you deadpanned, but you looked so flustered that it brought a laugh from both of them. “God, you two are a nightmare,” you mumbled, trying to form a wall with your hands on the sides of your face, focusing back on your laptop screen.

The air was buzzing with excitement in the theater as the audience waited the start of the show, their whispers and anticipation merging into a palpable energy that seemed to vibrate through the walls. You watched from your spot the seats filling in slowly, growing more and more impressed at the quantity of people around you.

Your seats were atop of the side of the stage, so you could clearly get a view of the staff coming and going, testing the electric guitars, getting a stand with drumsticks to place it beside Jihoon’s red drum kit. The stage lights came on briefly, startling the crowd for a second, making everyone think that the show was starting already.

Jeonghan came up to you, hugging your body from behind. “What are you looking at, princess?” he muttered, pressing a loving kiss on your temple.

“Just perusing from afar,” you replied, leaning against his touch. “It’s interesting to see what happens backstage.”

“Mm, remind me one day to take you to my job on opening night,” he hummed, laughing softly. “You’ll change your mind really quick.”

“You must have a little more faith in me,” you showed him a smile. “You forget I like a little chaos.”

Jeonghan paused, but then a smile spread on his lips. “You’re right about that,” he muttered. “You are a little bit chaotic yourself.”

You dropped your mouth in a faux aghast expression. “No, I’m not,” you chuckled.

His sweet brown eyes read the features of your face, and you saw them brighten with some mischievous idea. “Were you one of those haughty girls when you were in school?” he asked, laughing at your expression.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, arching one eyebrow.

“Were you the kind that reminded the teacher to check the assignments?” he chuckled when you moved to push his shoulder.

You gave him an exasperated look. “I mean, I was the only one doing those assignments, and all for the professor to forget about them?!”

“Oof, I would’ve hated you in high school,” he asserted with a low chuckle.

“So you were one of those kids that slacked off in class?” you quipped back.

“Hey, I might have been a slacker, but I was still top of the class,” he asserted, blinking at you proudly.

“Shut up,” you giggled. “I would’ve hated you in high school.”

Jeonghan chuckled, encircling his arms around you to pull you tightly to his chest. “Good thing we didn’t meet in school,” he muttered, right before dipping to meet your lips with his own. “Although I think I would’ve had a crush on you.”

“Now you’re spewing nonsense, Mr. Yoon,” you said with a sweet giggle that sent chills down Jeonghan’s spine. “I was your typical nerd in high school.”

“What, like you’re not a typical nerd now?” he laughed when you just whined at him, pressing his lips against yours one more time. “I would’ve crushed on you so hard, no matter how much you got in my nerves.”

“Now that you mention it, you would’ve got in my nerves constantly,” you said with a smile. “But I do admit that I am a sucker for that.”

His eyes widened in shock. “Ooh, let me act surprised,” he joked. “Thanks for the confirmation, though.”

The crowd went alive with a loud roar as the lights of the stage and the theatre went out. Even with the lights out, you could still make out Jeonghan’s face, the smile on it as he looked at you. It warmed your heart to see that Jeonghan was happy, and in love.

“Show’s starting,” you pressed a kiss on his lips and turned around to face the stage that was covered by a thick layer of smoke.

The overhead lights lit up in warm orange and yellow colors, casting sharp shadows and building excitement across the crowd. Then one by one, the members of Midnight Haze started to show up, Jihoon making it to his drums without making it a show, sitting down on the stool, and grabbing his drumsticks. Then Vernon joined the stage with a gentle gait, grabbing the neon green bass guitar on the stand where his spot on the stage was and crossing the strap on his shoulder.

The crowd went crazy with a load uproar when the stage lights changed position, focusing on the center of the stage as Joshua stepped in, waving at the crowd with a charming smile on his face. He took his white guitar, throwing the strap on his shoulder with ease and grabbed the mic on the stand.

“Goodnight everyone!” Joshua’s voice boomed from the stage and through the whole theatre. The big screens showed him and his bandmates, all excited to perform their last show of the tour. “Ready to have fun?” he smirked, his fingers grabbing a pick from the stand and picking the first chords of his guitar.

Jihoon lifted his drumsticks in the air, bringing them down with a splashing sound to join the ruckus of the noise. The first song they played was one of the singles of his album. It was loud and fun and represented Midnight Haze perfectly. It was a rebellious song, that called for everyone to dance along.

And you could tell that the boys loved playing this song, it had them dancing on their feet or bobbing their heads to it. It was a song that you could tell they wrote with the sole intention of making the crowd loosen up and gear up for the show. And as Joshua sang the lyrics, he smiled against the mic, the camera capturing his perfectly beautiful face.

Woke up late, got my shoes on tight, Feeling good, and I'm ready for the night, Turn it up, turn it up, feel the fire, Living life on the edge, we’ll take it higher, All night long, we’re gonna shout it out, Come on, baby, let’s get loud!

The stage lit up in white lights, dancing on the floor and to the beat of the music, which resounded inside you, making you dance to it. Jeonghan was dancing along to it as well, rocking his head side to side, his long dark hair shaking as he did so.

The performance took off, showing the Midnight Haze boys’ skills as they played song after song, barely taking any rest. They only paused for water and for wiping off the sweat off their faces. Joshua looked tired after one and a half hours into the show, but the energy that he exhibited created an allure to him. Every time he was shown on the big screens, the crowd went crazy, and he smiled shyly at the uproar of the masses.

“How are you guys doing?” he spoke into the mic with big breaths, his hands set on his hips as the guitar hung on his shoulder. The crowd screamed and applauded, creating a loud buzzing noise that you imagined could be heard from miles away.

Joshua smiled only, looking at the sea of people with glimmering eyes. “This next song is called Euphoria. I hope you enjoy,” he said, and turned around to give his bandmates a signal by bowing his head.

Jihoon nodded, clashing his drumsticks once, twice, and then started playing a steady beat, to which Vernon followed with the bass and then Joshua joined in with a melodic riff of his guitar. Joshua danced with a soft sway as he came closer to his spot, and once the beat of the music prepared for the first verse, he lifted his lips to the mic.

She’s got a smile that could tear me apart, Like a haunting melody played on my heart, I reach for her, but she slips through my hands, A faded dream that leaves me weak. But until then, I’ll live with the fire, Chasing her shadow, longing for the desire She leaves me hanging on every word, Every promise she’s ever made has blurred.

It was a steadier song, unlike the rest. A ballad that still invited you to dance, but mostly to listen to Joshua’s soft voice swimming over the crowd. Jeonghan’s arms returned to wrap around your body, hugging you from behind so he could rest his head on your shoulder. You welcomed his embrace, snuggling up to it without removing your eyes from the stage.

“I wonder who this song is about,” Jeonghan said in your ear, and you could feel his lips curving in a smile.

Your heart gave a jolt against your chest, but you said nothing, instead, you just sang along the lyrics, knowing that in fact, Joshua wrote this song with you in mind; it told of the time when you and Joshua had not solidified a relationship yet, and you were giving him mixed signals, driving him and yourself crazy.

She’s the danger I can’t leave behind, I chase her shadow, but I can’t make her mine, Her smile’s a puzzle, a riddle untold, Her lips like fire, but her heart stays cold, Her love’s a fire, but it burns so slow, Like a ghost in the dark, she’s all I know, I’m caught in the spell, don’t wanna break the ties, I’m lost in the shadow of her eyes.

As you were watching him sing, you saw the raw emotion on his face, he frowned as he sing, closing his eyes, his chest swelling with each intake of breath. Then it hit you. Joshua could feel every emotion so intensely in his heart, that it was difficult for him to let it show, only being able to scream what he felt through music.

You knew that Joshua would never walk away from this, because as much as he loved being with you in the quiet, peaceful home you built with him, he also belonged on stage. You wondered then, what you would have do to protect that the same way he wanted to protect your privacy from the media and the world. You wondered, how would you do it now that Jeonghan was also your partner and Joshua’s too.

Jeonghan swayed his body, dragging you along with the gentle dance as he wrapped you in his arms. You turned your head at the same time he did the same, your eyes meeting with his for a long moment. Everything you had to go through to get to this moment crashed against your heart, robbing you of air. Jeonghan had to go through different challenged to get here, to be your partner. It seemed understandable that he would present himself a bit reluctant to agreed to Joshua’s proposition, and yours.

Jeonghan had put what mattered most to him to be with you, and now that Joshua was finally coming to terms with the turmoil in his heart, Jeonghan had to face that too, and although you did not know what was going on in his mind, you understood his reluctance. And would give him the time he needed to come to his resolve.

He smiled at you when your gaze swam all over the features of his face, leaning to give you a long, loving kiss.

Despite the exhaustion from the flight, the concert, interviews and such, Joshua looked at ease. Upon returning to the hotel room, he emptied his pockets on the small desk pushed to the wall of the room, and sat down on one of the chairs with a pleased sigh.

Jeonghan snorted, taking off his plaid shirt to discard it on the other chair, and sitting down on it. There was no need to say that Joshua was feeling more relaxed with himself now that he had taken one thing out of the way when he confessed his feelings to Jeonghan. Even the air felt different between you and them.

“I’m hungry. Shall we order room service?” Jeonghan asked as he removed his boots.

You were also taking off your jacket, neatly moving it on a hook to put it inside the small closet space. The question drew your curiosity, eyeing your two boyfriends sitting on each chair. Jeonghan had his knees spread, leaning his back in a relaxed position. Joshua had just taken his black converse off, sending a look at Jeonghan.

“Uh, right now?” Joshua asked, glancing your way and then back to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “Are you not hungry?” he asked, but the brightened look in his eyes told you he was trying not to smile.

“Yeah, but I was thinking of taking a shower,” Joshua replied, his tone cautious, much as if he were not disclosing part of his small plan.

“You can shower while we wait for food,” Jeonghan shrugged, his mouth kept in a pout, and that was how you knew for sure, Jeonghan was teasing Joshua.

“We can shower,” you cut in, knowing what Joshua had been trying to get at. “And later when we’re done, we can order food,” you said, throwing a look at Jeonghan. “Stop teasing him.”

“Who, me?” Jeonghan blinked, raising a finger to point at himself.

“Yeah, you. Stop it,” you giggled at him, but walked to Joshua, nonetheless, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go.”

“I’m not invited?” Jeonghan rose to his feet as well, following you and Joshua to the bathroom door.

“You’re invited to watch if you promise to behave,” you conditioned impishly.

“I can’t make promises like that,” Jeonghan said, raising his palms at you. “But I’ll try.”

“Do try,” Joshua punctuated, smiling softly at the childish exchange.

“Ah, I’m just playing with you, Shuji,” Jeonghan said.  

“We know,” you and Joshua replied in unison.

You started the shower, wasting no time and moving to push Joshua’s flannel shirt off his shoulders. You were glad for a moment that Jeonghan had taken your warning seriously, because he stood by the doorway to the bathroom, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed as he watched you get rid of Joshua’s clothes piece by piece.

“You were amazing tonight. I liked the show a lot,” you mumbled, sneaking a look up to his face as he watched you undo his belt, pulling it from the belt loops and letting it fall on the floor.

“Thank you,” he replied in kind but lifting a hand to pinch your chin gently. “Did you dance a lot?”

You nodded, undoing the button of his washed denim pants. “With Hannie,” you replied to his question. “We had fun.”

“I’m glad, baby,” he said with a sweet tone, starting to take your clothes off as well.

Once you were both standing under the stream of warm water, Joshua pulled you in for a hug. As soon as your bodies came into contact with each other, your pulse quickened too. The shower was spacious, its walls were made of crystal, so Jeonghan got a view of Joshua’s hands running all over your naked body, caressing the line of your back with his fingers.

Jeonghan could not remove his eyes from the image before him, he had never felt so attracted to two people at once. It was the best he could ever ask for, being so in love with you and at the same time, being able to finally express what he felt for Joshua aloud.

And Joshua was, for lack of a better word alluring to Jeonghan. Everything about him was attractive, his eyes, his lips, the way the muscles of his abdomen and legs shifted with every move. Jeonghan had been thinking about it ever since he saw Joshua performing on stage earlier.

You closed your eyes, lacing your fingers behind his nape to pull him into a kiss. “You looked so hot on stage,” you blurted on Joshua’s lips, ignoring the sound of your own voice, breathy and sweet.

“Really?” he smiled into the kiss, pressing his lips on yours softly.

“Yeah,” you sighed, as his hands travelled farther down your back, parking on your ass and giving it a squeeze. You giggled nervously, sending a quick look at Jeonghan, who remained watching everything from afar obediently.

Joshua followed your eyes, his beautifully chapped lips curling in a shy smile when he found Jeonghan staring from the doorway. “Are you eager for tonight, princess?” Joshua asked, pressing his hands against your ass to bring your body against his tightly.

“Eh?” you turned, looking at him in confusion. It had been ages since Joshua called you that. And you mostly just expected Jeonghan to use that name on you.

Joshua smiled with his eyes knowingly, bringing a hand to cup your cheek so he could hold you in place as he gave you a gentle kiss. “Jeonghan and I will fuck tonight,” he whispered against your lips, smiling when you sighed a moan. “Are you okay with that, baby?”

“Of course I am,” you replied, your tone sugary and breathy at the same time, showing how aroused you were already.

“That’s my girl,” he said, pressing another kiss on your lips.

A shudder invaded you, making your blood dance beneath your skin upon the thought of watching your boyfriends fuck. “Let’s wash you up,” you breathed, making him laugh at your eagerness.

“Okay,” Joshua replied, letting your hands wash every inch of his skin as thoroughly as possible, covering his beautifully tanned skin with soap bubbles.

Once you finished washing up, you covered your body with a bathrobe as Joshua dried his brown hair as best as he could with a towel. Jeonghan was waiting on the bed, you imagined he sat down at first, but as time went on he leaned back, propping his body with his elbows. But he stood up when he saw you coming back to the bedroom, and you noticed he was nervous.

You sat on the edge of the mattress, smoothing your hands over the creamy white duvet. “Can I watch?” you asked shyly, looking at both of your boyfriends standing before the bed.

Jeonghan tilted his head slightly to one side. “What do you want us to do, princess?”

This was a new part of the relationship that you were nervous about, nearly afraid to explore. But also, so eager. Seeing Jeonghan’s reaction back in the shower had given you the idea of simply watching your two boyfriends exploring each other, loving each other freely.

So you just shrugged. “Whatever you both are comfortable with doing,” you replied, mostly looking at Joshua.

You were about to be reminded that neither of your boyfriends lacked daring. Sure, they often needed a little push, but you just had given them what they needed. Joshua did not lose time, grabbing Jeonghan by the back of his neck and giving a firm tug. Jeonghan met Joshua halfway in a brief kiss. The first kiss looked featherlight, as if they were being careful, meeting each other again.

But you could see how quickly that cautiousness dissipated once they got a taste of each other’s mouths. Diving for another kiss, one of them grunted and it was hard for you to know who it was who made the breathy sound. They were at each other’s lips, a light dance of exploration, tasting and revelling themselves at the touch.

Jeonghan lifted his hands, blindly searching Joshua’s chest, caressing with his fingers until he stopped his touch at the hips, pulling forward. Their bodies touched, and Joshua responded with a muffled moan, sinking his fingers in Jeonghan’s dark hair, and forcing his lips into a harder kiss, which Jeonghan reciprocated at once.

You were completely mesmerized. The sight was too alluring, too irresistible to even blink. You were not only caught up in the need to feel them on your lips, to feel their touch, but you knew what each of their kisses felt like. You knew how it felt to be touched by Jeonghan, you knew how it felt to be kissed by Joshua.

You leaned back on your elbows, looking at your boyfriends kissing each other, exploring their bodies with satisfied moans. Joshua started ripping every piece of clothing on Jeonghan’s body with no shame, starting by stripping him off the white t-shirt, and then the baggy blue jeans.

Once they got rid of everything putting a barrier between their skins, Jeonghan moved a hand under Joshua’s jaw, holding it with ginger fingers as he kissed the apple of Joshua’s cheek, who opened his eyes slowly, his plump lips parting slightly in desire as his gaze found you. “Are you enjoying this, baby?” 

You nodded silently, biting your lower lip to mask your smile. Your gaze dropped to their bodies, pressed together, Jeonghan’s hands cradling Joshua’s face moved down on to grab his ass, his lips making a trail of kisses on Joshua’s neck. “Hannie don’t bite me,” Joshua giggled airily.

Jeonghan detached his mouth from Joshua’s skin, both moving simultaneously to find each other’s lips with a brief kiss, their wet lips creating a soft smacking sound that had your blood sizzling beneath your skin. Joshua leaned his forehead against Jeonghan’s, licking his own lips right before his hands travelled down Jeonghan’s back, circling to grip him by the hips and tug him closer.

You shuddered at the sight of them moving at the same time, neither asking for permission nor stopping to test each other. Their hands explored each other, Joshua leaned to trap Jeonghan’s lips in a long, wet kiss as his hand circled Jeonghan’s dick by his pretty length, pumping him a few times, just as Jeonghan grabbed Joshua’s veiny shaft with equally languid strokes.

At that, you could no longer resist yourself, sneaking a hand between your legs, parting the flaps of your bathrobe. The tip of your finger glided between your slick folds, making you moan at the much-desired contact as you watched your boyfriends moan in each other’s mouths, stroking each other languidly. 

They stopped kissing, sharing one long look as their hands moved on each other’s dick at the same pace. Jeonghan sent you one glance and smiled, making Joshua do the same, his gaze finding you on the bed, legs parted, stroking your clit, circling it with your fingertip, rubbing your arousal all over your cunt.

“I think Baby likes this,” Jeonghan said, turning his face to Joshua’s.

“Fuck,” Joshua breathed, swallowing back a moan.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan hummed, diving for another open kiss on Joshua’s neck that ended up with a light grazing of his teeth against his skin.

“Fuck, you–,” Joshua gritted in pleasure as his body tensed visibly.

Jeonghan laughed, stumbling back when Joshua used his hands to push him to the bed, he sat before he let his body lean back, his happy eyes finding you. “What do you say, princess, should we punish Josh for being so damn emotionally constipated, or do you want him to take the lead tonight?”

Joshua stopped, just as he was making a move to climb on top of Jeonghan’s body on the bed, his knee hiked on the edge of the mattress. “What?” he blurted. “What did I do now?”

“I’m asking her, not you,” Jeonghan bit back.

You liked your lips, burning in utter desire. “I think we should use him,” you nodded, smiling at the glint in Jeonghan’s eyes.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan pretended to ponder for a second, raising a hand to pinch your chin. “How do you want to use him, princess? Do you want to fuck yourself on his cock?”

A smile played on your lips. “Can I keep watching, Hannie?” you asked, batting your eyelashes.

Jeonghan mirrored the smile, but his was slow and triumphant. “Of course, baby,” he cooed, running the pad of his thumb on your bottom lip, which you nibbled at softly. “Get him on the bed.”

You gathered yourself on the bed, crawling on your hands and knees to the foot, where you sat back on your heels. You had to raise your gaze to find Joshua’s, darkened by wanton need, his pouty lips parted slightly.

“Are you there, Josh?” you asked with a honeyed tone.

The pout turned into a smile slowly. “You’re turning on me,” he accused, but there was nothing in his tone to indicate that he was displeased with the idea of Jeonghan being in control for the night.

“I’ll make up for it, babe,” you replied, keeping the sweet tone on him. “I promise.”

Joshua smirked, bringing a hand to cradle your cheek. “I expect nothing less,” he mumbled, locking his lips with yours in a featherlight kiss that had you emitting a low moan at once. The thought of Joshua’s lips meeting yours after making out with Jeonghan gave you a different lure.

You reached for his hand, taking it on your own, his long fingers warm and calloused from playing the guitar for hours. “Come here, big boy,” you whispered, pulling him softly to the bed, where he was already pressing a knee on, so he just followed you, obediently lying down between Jeonghan and you.

“Take your bathrobe off, princess.”  

Sending a quick glance at Jeonghan, you nodded at him. “Okay,” you mumbled.

You did as he said, looking at Joshua’s long and toned body lying on the bed, his skin adorned with droplets of water here and there, his hand resting below his sternum. He did not shy away from your staring, smiling softly at you when your gaze lowered to his hard cock, stirring proudly on his lower abdomen, and leaking in precum.

Jeonghan was lying on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, equally as alluring. His damp hair dripped on the covers as he leaned his head to one side, his gaze gliding over Joshua’s body, unable to focus on one part of him. They looked at each other for a second that stretched out, only breaking when Jeonghan inched closer to Joshua.

You watched as they met in a slow, wet kiss, neither of them paused before it, like joined by a magnetic force. Jeonghan’s lips trapped Joshua’s lower, outlining it with his tongue. The response your body got from watching them kiss was like no other, you could not believe you could feel so intensely from just looking.

Joshua raised a hand to cup Jeonghan’s nape, forcing a hungry kiss. You saw a glimpse of Joshua’s tongue, licking Jeonghan’s bottom lip before their tongues met briefly, continuing to kiss each other with abandon and a hunger that only incited your own.

Jeonghan moved his body on top of Joshua’s neither breaking the hard kiss, their hands roving on each other’s skin freely, as though they were aching to touch each other like this for years. Joshua’s hand circled Jeonghan’s waist gripping him with gentle fingers as Jeonghan lowered his body on top of Joshua’s, meeting each other wholly, skin on skin.

One hand had remained on Jeonghan’s nape, and you saw Joshua’s fingers curl around the dark mane of hair, pulling softly, but demanding more. “Behave,” Jeonghan stilled, his lips lingering on Joshua’s, moving sensually with each word: “Or I’ll use your belt to restrain your hands.”

Joshua smirked briefly before pressing a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “That sounds fun,” he replied with his honeyed tone. “But I’ll behave. Just for tonight.”

“Brat,” Jeonghan spat.

“Are you surprised?” Joshua bit back, arching his pierced eyebrow.

“Don’t make me consider using the belt,” Jeonghan grunted, but his commanding tone fainted as he dipped his head on Joshua’s neck, pressing quick kisses on the curve of his shoulder.

“What if I want it?” Joshua giggled, having his fun by challenging Jeonghan.

“I don’t want to do that the first time I fuck you,” he said slowly. “Besides, I want Princess to have her fun too,” he muttered against Joshua’s neck.

“Fuck,” Joshua tensed, squeezing his eyes tightly. “But you never bite Bunny like this,” he complained, his tone waning too.

“Because she bruises like a peach,” Jeonghan giggled, sending you a look. “Do you still have that bruise, baby?”

You bit your lip, nodding. “Yes, Hannie,” you raised one knee toward the ceiling, revealing a glimpse of your inner thigh, very close to your pussy. There was a bruise, small but still visible and greenish.

“So that’s what it was,” Joshua smirked, his eyelids fluttering when his throat was grazed by Jeonghan’s teeth, making him moan.

“Do you like that, Josh?” you asked as Jeonghan made a trail of lovebites on Joshua’s neck and collarbones. You enjoyed Joshua’s eyes glazing over, his mouth parted as he nodded with his head dumbly.

“Yeah. Feels good,” he muttered faintly as Jeonghan placed an open-mouthed kiss on one of Joshua’s pecs. In fact, Joshua was over the moon. His heart going a mile per hour as he looked at your face flushed in expectation, while Jeonghan littered his chest with kisses.

You saw Jeonghan placing a wet kiss on Joshua’s pec, stopping to lick a circle around Joshua’s nipple right before grazing at it with his teeth. You had to press your thighs together upon feeling a slight jolt of nervousness that shot straight to your core.

Joshua groaned quietly in pleasure, a slight frown appearing on his face. “Are you enjoying this, baby?” he asked, opening his eyes.

“Yeah,” you breathed, and Joshua smiled at you briefly, right before Jeonghan sank down, placing a wet kiss on his hipbone.

“Don’t you want to touch yourself?” he mumbled, his tone waning as his hand found Jeonghan’s head, threading his fingers in his hair.

“Stroke your clit, princess,” Jeonghan muttered, raising his gaze to find your blushing face. And you realized that they had noticed your body tensing.

Before you did as he told you, you lied back on the covers beside Joshua, keeping your gaze trained in his hands, gripping the base of Joshua’s cock, jerking him off a few times again, his lip curling upon hearing the raunchy and short moans that spilled from Joshua’s parted lips.

You planted your feet on the mattress, parting your legs slightly to sneak a hand in, rubbing the pads of your pointer and middle finger on your swollen bud. A moan escaped you at once upon finding your cunt swollen and sopping wet, but all focus was on Jeonghan’s hand, jerking Joshua’s cock with a playful look on his face.

Then Jeonghan leaned over to wrap his mouth around Joshua’s swollen cockhead, dragging a deep moan from him. You moaned with Joshua, the sight alone might have sent you into your climax, watching Jeonghan slid his pretty mouth up and sinking down Joshua’s big cock was out of the ordinary alluring for you.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted out, his eyes focused on Jeonghan alone, watching his cock disappearing in Jeonghan’s mouth.

Drool gathered on the corners of Jeonghan’s lips as he took Joshua’s cock farther, the tip hitting the back of his throat, feeling every vein of his shaft as he pulled his mouth up, swirling his tongue around the bulbous head.

Jeonghan’s eyes flitted to you, as you fingered yourself to the pace of the bobbing of his head, which he pulled up, his lips wrapping around Joshua’s cockhead made a wet sound as he detached his mouth from it. “Sit on his face, baby,” Jeonghan muttered softly at you, motioning with the tip of his nose at Joshua’s face.

You bit your lip, and nodded, clumsily gathering your limbs on the bed to crawl to the head of the bed until you stopped right before the pillows and Joshua’s shoulders. “I’ve never sat on your face,” you realized with a nervous giggle.

“Really?” Jeonghan clicked his tongue, repeatedly. “You’ve never let our baby sit on your face? Bad boy.”  

Joshua showed you a smirk, blinking slowly at you. He extended one arm at you. “Come here, baby,” he said, and you stood on your knees, placing each one on the pillows at each side of Joshua’s head. “Sit,” he commanded, grabbing you by your hips with his large hands and bringing you down, forcing you to sit your cunt on his face.

“God,” you muttered nervously as his mouth started to work on your pussy lips, licking a fat stripe on your folds to lave at your arousal. “Oh god,” you parroted. Now you were face to face with Jeonghan, getting another angle of him pleasuring Joshua’s cock.

Joshua added a little bit of pressure with his hands on your ass, forcing you to move your hips slightly as he made out with your pussy, giving it broad strokes with his tongue. You moaned, trying not to close your eyes as Jeonghan bobbed his head up and down, sinking his pretty mouth on Joshua’s cock, you noticed that his own cock was hard, and leaking with precum.

Jeonghan lifted his eyes to you as he continued sucking Joshua’s cock, who repeated the motion of his hands on your hips, forcing you to move. Jeonghan pulled his mouth free smiling as he said, “He’s telling you to move, princess.”

“Eh?” you asked dumbly, lifting your hips from Joshua’s face, looking down at him. “Am I hurting you, Josh?”

Joshua giggled, the sound sweet and slightly muffled. “Not at all, baby,” he said. “Just grind on me a little, it’ll feel good.”

“How?” you frowned.

“Just grind your pussy on his tongue, baby,” Jeonghan added right before he took Joshua’s cock in his mouth, smirking as Joshua moaned loudly.

“Fuck, baby, do it now,” Joshua growled, using his hands once again to bring your ass down to his face.

“Oh god, okay,” you blurted, placing your hands on the mattress for support and started swaying your hips gently back and forth, rubbing your pussy on Joshua’s tongue. “Oh god,” you moaned once you felt the pleasure building up fast.

It grew quiet for a second, the silence interrupted only by your moans and Joshua’s as you started grinding your pussy on his mouth at a faster pace, and Jeonghan bobbed his head, matching your pace too.

Joshua moaned loudly against your pussy, the sound lewd and sweet and so telling that he was close. But the warning did little for Jeonghan, who was pulling his mouth from Joshua’s cockhead as ropes of cum spurted from the reddened tip, disappearing once Jeonghan ran his tongue all over the mess, picking up the cum from Joshua’s cockhead and shaft, cleaning him off with soft hums of pleasure.

Seeing Joshua come on Jeonghan’s mouth inched you closer to your own orgasm, and Jeonghan read it on your face, heard it in your moans. He leaned over Joshua’s body, trapping your chin with his hand to plant an open kiss on your mouth, making you taste Joshua’s cum too.

The motions of your hips became fast and short, rubbing your pussy on Joshua as you reached your climax. You moaned loudly, shaking on his mouth as your orgasm shot up your body, sizzling beneath your skin from your cunt to your face.

“That’s it, baby,” Jeonghan cooed softly, enjoying the face you made when you came. Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you closed your eyes, savoring every second of your high as you finished grinding your pussy on Joshua’s tongue.

The covers were soft on your skin once you slumped and rolled over on the large bed. You sighed a moan, as Jeonghan caressed Joshua’s thighs. He was breathing hard as well, his pretty doe eyes closed but he smiled and then said, “That was amazing,” he rasped.

You turned your head on the pillows to look at him. He was equally fucked out as you were, panting hard, his eyes dreamy as they found yours. “Yeah,” you sighed. “Are you ready for more, babe?” you asked.

Joshua nodded, and for one moment, Jeonghan was thrown back to the day he met Joshua, realizing he had hosted an attraction ever since, letting it grow but ever so slowly. He leaned over, pressing his bare chest against Joshua’s to plant a kiss on his lips.

“What do you want?” Jeonghan asked slowly, and you saw the brief pause, the tip of his nose bumping with Joshua’s before he met his lips with his own.

“Fuck me,” Joshua breathed, bringing his hands to cup Jeonghan’s head, his fingers tangling in the mane of dark hair. “Fuck me like you’ve always dreamed of,” he said, his words rising in a tone of desperation, as though he had been holding back the thought of it for days, weeks.

“Umn, what makes you think I’ve ever dreamed of fucking you?” Jeonghan teased, propping one kiss on Joshua’s lips with a playful manner, just like he always did with you.

“Please,” Joshua breathed, closing his eyes slowly and swallowing hard. “I want this—I want you,” he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.  

“How do you want me?” Jeonghan asked, and you quickly understood what game he was playing. Teasing Joshua with swift, fleeting kisses on his skin, asking questions that would lead him to beg for Jeonghan to fuck him.

Joshua parted his mouth, craning his neck for Jeonghan to leave a love bite on his throat. “I want you inside me,” he drawled out without shame, closing his eyes to enjoy the torturous kisses that Jeonghan left on his skin.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan pursed his lips in a mocking expression. “You could take my cock in your mouth, is that what you want?”

Joshua rolled his eyes in a near exasperated look. “You know what I mean, Jeonghan.”

“Do I?” he tilted his head ever so slightly.

You snorted.

“What?” Jeonghan asked, turning to see you.

“Don’t act like you don’t want this, Hannie,” you smirked.

Jeonghan shrugged lightly. “Got me,” he said with a matching smirk. “I just wanted to hear him beg a little.”

“Can’t you leave that for another night?” you raised your brows.

“Please,” Joshua sighed, and then laughed.

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan laughed as well, crushing his mouth on Joshua’s. “Only because Bunny’s right and I do want this just as bad as you do.”

“Then get on with it,” Joshua muttered against Jeonghan’s lips.

“God you two are the same. So fucking needy,” Jeonghan complained, chuckling lightly. “Put one of your knees up.”

Jeonghan sat back on his haunches, reaching to grab the bottle of lube he had placed on the nightstand. He rubbed the slick liquid on his fingers on one hand as he supported himself with the other. Then, he leaned to kiss Joshua, and they kissed deeply, both moaning into the kiss as Jeonghan took his lubed fingers and stopped before Joshua’s balls.

Jeonghan paused, detaching his lips from Joshua’s to look at him in the eyes, then his fingers inched further down, the pointer finger caressing Joshua’s entrance, circling it with the tip of his lubed finger. Jeonghan bit his bottom lip, looking at Joshua’s facial features dissolve and change into pleasure.

A shudder went through your body. You knew how it felt like, to have Jeonghan’s fingers in you, stretching you out for his cock slowly, testing what made you go off, what made you beg for his cock. You licked your lips in anticipation, fixating your gaze on Joshua’s face.

“Tickles,” Joshua laughed lightly, shaking with some nervousness and anticipation.

“Is it cold?” Jeonghan asked, like he was having a normal conversation with his best friend. But in fact, he was nervous too.

“A bit, yeah,” Joshua replied. “But it’s okay.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan nodded, pressing the tip of his finger on Joshua’s entrance, and sinking an inch further.

Joshua’s mouth parted, letting out a silent groan. “Oh,” he frowned slightly.

“Good?” Jeonghan stilled.

Joshua nodded. “Keep going.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan pushed in another finger on Joshua’s entrance, lifting his head to look at you. “Touch yourself, baby.”

Jeonghan kept going, adding a third finger, cautious of his touch so he kept it gentle, focused on Joshua’s face to see any signs of discomfort.

But Joshua could have melted into a puddle of pleasure and anticipation for more, he wanted more, and more, more. “Please,” he whispered. “More,” he said, understanding the situations where you had been in his place, revelling at the fact that he was living one of the fantasies that he had lived through you.

You cradled Joshua’s cheek with one hand, commanding his doe eyes to yours before you gave him a sweet kiss. “You’re doing good, Josh,” you muttered with a light tone.

“Princess,” Jeonghan commanded your eyes to him, motioning to the condoms on the nightstand. And you understood perfectly without him saying it. So you sat on your knees, reaching to grab the condom and ripped the package with your fingers, and carefully grabbed the condom, rolling it on Jeonghan’s hard cock to his hilt.

“Thank you, baby,” he whispered, receiving your soft kiss on his lips. Then he pushed a fourth finger in, having Joshua’s thighs tensing in both pain and pleasure, making Jeonghan stroke his own cock with his hand, lubing himself up.

Jeonghan pressed one hand on the mattress for support, as the other guided his cock to Joshua’s entrance. You looked at Joshua tensing up slightly, but diffusing his own nervousness as he took in one deep breath. They shared one look right before Jeonghan pressed the tip of his cock against Joshua’s entrance, and started sinking in, inch by inch, slowly.

Their mouths parted at the same time, but ever so slightly. “Fuck,” Joshua breathed, closing his eyes.

Jeonghan cursed under his breath too, retreating his hips one inch, then sinking back inside Joshua. “Good?” he breathed, looking at Joshua expectantly.

“Great,” Joshua replied in kind, lifting his other knee to his chest, opening himself more for Jeonghan’s pretty cock.

Jeonghan started rutting his hips against Joshua’s ass, pushing his cock further with each stroke. You knew how it felt, to have him inside you, to be stuffed full of his cock. You could no longer take the pleasure brimming inside you, and tarted stroking your clit with your fingers, dipping them inside you to rub your slick all over your clit, and started swirling your fingers around it, unable to drag your gaze away.

“G-god,” Jeonghan closed his eyes, pushing his hips at a gentle pace, the pressure building inside him showed on his face, on the vein popping on his forehead and neck. It felt so good, so tight, he was becoming addicted to it quickly, starting to thrust with more abandon.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted again, his hands grabbing onto the bundles of bedcovers, trying to anchor himself to something before he lost all self-control. “J-jeonghan…” he moaned, his voice breaking in uncontrolled need for more, and more.

You saw as Jeonghan’s muscles contracted and went lax with each stroke of his hips, his face contorted in pure, sweet pleasure, matching Joshua’s expression too, who tried to keep himself angled for Jeonghan’s cock. The dancing of their bodies was too seducing, too enticing. Pressure burst inside you, blooming in every part of your body, its tingling lingering on your skin.

You moaned lewdly, unable to look away as Jeonghan fucked Joshua slowly, his eyes flitted to your face and smiled. “Princess,” he whispered, as you trembled in the gentle waves of the orgasm that consumed you.

“Mmn?” you replied, breathing heavily.

“T-touch him,” he commanded with an urgency that you understood well, pushing his hips against Joshua desperately.

You rolled on the bed on your side, lifting your body with one elbow to take Joshua’s cock with your hand, rubbing the slick on your fingers all over his shaft. Joshua moaned, blinking repeatedly as his eyes focused on your face.

“You close?” you muttered lightly, and Joshua nodded with sharp motions. You rolled your hand on his cock faster, your eyes wandering to where Jeonghan met his hips with Joshua’s ass, thrusting his cock faster.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan moaned loudly, louder than you had ever heard him before, he closed his eyes in pure pleasure and breathed raggedly. “I’m there.”

Both looked at each other before they started making the rawest, sweetest moans as they came undone at the same time, ropes of cum spilling onto the back of your hand as Jeonghan pushed thrusted sloppily against Joshua, spilling himself into the condom with raunchy moans that made you want to moan with them too.

Jeonghan lifted a hand, caressing Joshua’s tummy as he gave a few sloppy thrusts, finishing inside him as he breathed tiredly, just as Joshua was, biting his bottom lip without tearing his eyes off Jeonghan. They looked at each other for a long moment, and you wanted once again to share their mind, to listen in on their channel they so jealously kept to themselves.

You leaned against Joshua’s face, pushing the tip of your nose on his cheek before pressing a kiss on the shell of his ear. “You did so good, babe,” you whispered.

Jeonghan climbed down the bed and disappeared behind the bathroom door, leaving you with a very exhausted Joshua, still lying on the bed. He was breathing hard, his face so relaxed that for a second you believed him to be asleep.

You got up, going around the bed to reach for the pack of wet tissues on the nightstand, and started cleaning off the cum on the back of your hand, and the few beads on Joshua’s lower tummy. You discarded the tissues and went back to lie down beside him on the bed. “How are you, babe?” you asked softly, running a palm over his chest, feeling the vibrations of his heartbeat.

“Amazing,” he sighed, grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles. “You?” he raised his eyebrows.

“I’m good,” you muttered with a sheepish smile.

“You didn’t get to come again,” he realized, shifting his hand to grab you by the waist, turning slightly on the bed. “Come here,” he whispered.

“Joshua, I’m fine,” you said with a short giggle. “You should rest, you came pretty hard.”

“I said come here,” he said playfully, tightening the grip on your waist, pulling you to his body.

“Okay,” you conceded, letting him pull your body closer to his on the bed. You were still lying side to side, so it was easy for him to sneak a hand between your legs to run the pads of his pointer and middle finger on your folds.

“You’re so wet,” he muttered, his eyes glinting with desire again. “Just from watching us, baby,” he said in a tone that resembled praise. “Why couldn’t you come again?”

“I grew sensitive,” you mumbled, shuddering when his fingers glided on your folds a couple of times again, dipping slightly in your entrance. “It was really fun watching you.”

“Yeah, baby?” he cooed, smirking at you when you responded with a quiet nod. “Want me to touch you?”

“Yes, please,” you sighed, closing your eyes blissfully as his middle and ring fingers slipped inside your pussy. “God, Josh…”

“That’s right, baby,” he praised when you automatically started rocking your hips with short motions, fucking yourself on his hand. “Use me,” Joshua whispered.

Your breath hitched embarrassingly loud when a new set of hands encircled your waist, making you turn over your shoulder. “Hannie,” you sighed lewdly, a warmth creeping beneath your cheeks. 

Jeonghan occupied the empty side of the bed, lying behind you, his chest pressed against your back. His hands gripped you by the hips, helping you to move them on Joshua’s hand. “Mmn, princess you’re making a mess on Joshua’s fingers.”

The squelching noises became louder when Jeonghan started helping you rock your hips, littering the back of your shoulder with kisses.

Joshua curled his fingers inside you, nibbling your lower lip with his teeth. “Make a mess, baby,” Joshua said, his lips lingering on yours, pressing soft kisses on them. “Did you like watching Hannie fuck me?”

“Uh-huh,” you moaned, shuddering at the crude language your boyfriend used.

But he enjoyed it more, “I get now why you like his cock so much,” Joshua taunted, pulling back so he could look at your face. “You always behave like a slut when he fucks you.”

Your mouth fell open, giving way to a strangled moan. You nodded dumbly, and that only made Joshua’s grin grow on his face.

“That’s what you are, a good slut for us, right?” Jeonghan whispered in your ear, leaving small kisses on the shell. “Are you gonna come on Joshua’s fingers?”

You rocked your hips faster, enjoying that Joshua had started to move his hand too, pressing his fingers on your walls harder to make you shudder in pleasure. The tight feeling pooling in your lower belly became even more intense as your orgasm inched closer and closer.

Jeonghan’s hand moved from your hips, circling over to find your chest, where he started playing with your tits. His fingers fiddled with one of your nipples, pinching it gently and massaging your breast with his palm.

“Answer him, baby,” Joshua rasped, leaving a small kiss on your bottom lip. 

“Yeah, Hannie,” you swallowed a moan. “Oh fuck. Yes, yes, yes…” over and over again. The tension finally snapped, shaking you hard on the bed. Your jaw went slack, letting out a series of lewd moans that only allured both of your boyfriends. They watched you come undone, thrashing, and crying out in between them.

“That’s it, baby,” Jeonghan praised, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Good girl,” Joshua said too, leaving light kisses on your face.

You panted, holding onto Joshua’s shoulder for support as you came down from your high. “God,” you sighed, still with your eyes closed, feeling their bodies so close to you, relishing their warmth.

Joshua pulled his fingers out of your used hole carefully, and lifted his hand to your view and drew it closer to Jeonghan’s face, who opened his mouth, taking Joshua’s fingers in, sucking off your arousal with a pleased moan. Joshua’s lips curved into a smile, reminding you of the time he did the same with Jeonghan’s fingers.

You sighed, humming softly as you eased into the aftershocks of your nth orgasm. Jeonghan stroke your arm with the tips of his fingers, just as Joshua nudged the tip of your nose with his before pressing a gentle kiss on your lips. 

“I love you both so much,” you drawled.

“And we love you, princess,” Joshua replied with a small chuckle.

“So much,” Jeonghan emphasized, propping another kiss on your shoulder.

“Can we order room service now?” you sighed, nuzzling on their warmth, not even bothering to open your eyes.

“Why don’t you order for us, baby? I need to take care of Shua,” Jeonghan prompted, patting your ass lovingly.

“Sure,” you cooed, sitting up on the bed with a surge of energy you got from thinking about food. “What should I order?”

“Surprise us,” Joshua pressed his lips into a smile, watching you walk over to the desk where the telephone was, dialling the room service.

Jeonghan turned his gaze to Joshua. “You’re alright?” he asked softly, reaching out to tug Joshua’s ear by its shell, softly toying with his set of piercings.

Joshua raised his doe eyes from you to Jeonghan, nodding his head. “Yeah,” he replied, feeling something flutter inside him. “You?”

“Yeah, I'm alright,” Jeonghan answered with a light tone, bringing a hand on top of Joshua’s lower abdomen, caressing gently. 

Joshua shuddered against the touch, enjoying it as he lifted his hand to cup Jeonghan’s chin. “Are you sure?” he asked. 

Jeonghan raised his gaze to find Joshua’s, nodding silently. There was a brief moment in which Joshua thought he saw something flashing on Jeonghan’s features. He knew that time needed to be given for all parties to fall together on this new agreement. And Joshua was more than happy to wait, if it meant that he would have more nights like this.

The next day, you were back home. Jeonghan kept his word and spent the night over at yours, being so that he had everything he needed in his duffel bag. When you arrived, you were too tired, and so happy to do anything but snuggle in your bedcovers with both Joshua and Jeonghan, who were happy to please.

You fell asleep quickly, hugging Jeonghan’s frame tightly to your body, using his chest as a pillow. The sight was too cozy and warm to Joshua that he could not resist but following suit, falling asleep too, clinging onto you.

But then Joshua woke with a sharp jolt, his breathing becoming erratic as he dully came to grips with reality. For a small moment, he felt himself falling in his dream, and then he had to breathe in slowly to calm himself and gain lucidity. 

First, he made sure that he had not woken you up with his brusque move. But he found you huddled beneath the covers, as his eyes adjusted, he noticed that your arm was draped over a pillow, and Jeonghan was nowhere to be found.

That was until he heard a short smoker’s cough in the distance. Slowly, Joshua slid beneath the sheets and out of the bed completely, curiously stepping out of the bedroom, spotting the faint blue light coming from the phone in Jeonghan’s hand.

Jeonghan was lying on the couch, his back resting on the armrest, and his legs stretched out along the seat of the couch. He was so immersed in what he was looking on the screen to notice Joshua coming to the living room until he sat down on the armchair. Jeonghan lowered the phone to his tummy, blinking at Joshua with a light frown on his face.

“Can’t sleep?” Joshua asked with a hushed tone.

“You snore,” Jeonghan accused with an equally low tone, but his sounded full of reproach. He raised his phone to his gaze again, trying to appeal uninterested.

Joshua laughed airily, making Jeonghan’s eyes flick from the screen to where the sweet sound came from. “I don’t snore.”

“Yes, you do,” Jeonghan countered.

“Ah, okay, okay. I’m sorry,” Joshua said. “What are you doing in there?” he nodded to the phone in Jeonghan’s hands. 

Jeonghan locked the phone, discarding it on the coffee table with a tired sigh. “Nothing,” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his tummy. He chewed on his bottom lip before deciding to just let it out. “They want me to direct a mini-series for a streaming platform. The former director stepped out and someone slipped in my name as an option.”

“That’s a good opportunity,” Joshua said, frowning at the reluctance in Jeonghan’s demeanor. “Are you turning it down?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t worked on directing for television before. I’d need to learn a few things,” Jeonghan sucked in a breath pensively. “I’d need to make some preparations, clear my schedule for the next four months, maybe. I don’t know.” 

“You don’t want to do it because of the amount of work that it implies, or you just don’t feel attracted to the idea?” Joshua asked, tilting his head to one side a bit to study Jeonghan with his gaze.

A thing that Jeonghan felt, the weight of Joshua’s scrutiny only added to the awkwardness he felt around the whole situation. “I just don’t think I am the person to do it, you know?”

“Why not?” Joshua pressed, a tiny smile sneaking on his face. “You’re talented and have experience directing for years. The person who recommended you must see that too, right?”

“Ah, now you’re intriguing me,” Jeonghan chuckled lightly, playing with his own fingers to ease his nerves. “You’re only nice when you want something from me, so spit it out,” he said, sneaking a glance at Joshua, only to find his doe eyes, glinting in an emotion that Jeonghan saw only whenever Joshua looked at you.

“I have everything I want,” Joshua mumbled, his sweet tone matching the smile on his face.

Jeonghan fixed his gaze on his hands once again, trying to keep it away from Joshua as best as he could. “Do you, really?” he continued aimlessly.

The room fell silent for a long second, it was a silence that allow for many things to fall in place too. Joshua noticed once again the heavy reluctance in his best friend, and he was now determined to get to the bottom of it. The avoidant eyes, the plain tone; Jeonghan was as clear as water, so clear to Joshua that in fact he could interpret the way that he blinked. Jeonghan was tired, but refused to go to bed.

“Have you thought about Bunny’s proposal?” Joshua asked softly, breaking through the silence seamlessly.

“About going apartment hunting with her?” Jeonghan nodded, sniffling dryly, rubbing the tip of his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I promised I would take a look at it. So far all of the options she’s looking at are nice. Good neighborhoods.”

“But are you considering what she said? About moving in with us?” Joshua pressed, but trying to keep his tone under control.

“I uh…” Jeonghan sighed, a smile breaking on the features of his face. “Isn’t it too soon? I mean, I get that you guys did it before you even knew each other’s last names, but I need to warm up a little before I decide on doing something like that,” he said, spitting out the words in a swift manner that only made more evident that he was nervous.

“That’s not true, we already knew each other’s last names,” Joshua giggled lightly, amused at knowing what was making Jeonghan so awkward.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “My thoughts remain the same,” he said. “It’s a bit too soon, isn’t it? And now with… the newer developments, I don’t know,” he shifted on his seat.

“Newer developments, huh?” Joshua clicked his tongue mockingly. “You’re just looking for excuses, Jeonghan.”

“I’m not, Joshua,” he sulked.

“You’re here all the time, you spend most nights here. You only go back to yours so you can change your clothes, tell me if that’s not stupid,” Joshua refuted with an accusatory pout.

“I do sleep back at my place, sometimes. I only come back here to visit our girlfriend,” he retorted, rolling his eyes but he knew his argument was weak. “I don’t think you considered how I’d feel with all this,” he finally let out, turning his gaze to the wall behind the sofa. He crossed one leg over the other at the same time he shifted his crossed arms over his chest, walling himself off completely.

“Well, how do you feel?” Joshua egged, knowing his best friend well enough to know he was playing hard to get.

The Yoon Jeonghan letting himself go down easy? Even if he admitted his feelings for Joshua, it took him months to get over it. Joshua was the only person in history to reject him, and now he wants him all of a sudden.

“I don’t know, confused?” he mumbled shyly, a tiny smile spreading on his thin lips. “I think it’s going to take a little bit of time for me to digest this.”

Then, Jeonghan raised his gaze, finding Joshua across the living room. The window behind him showed the sun rising through the thin curtains, painting a soft halo around his head, the chocolate brown hair shining richly under the incipient sunlight. Maybe you were right, Jeonghan thought. Joshua’s dark but sweet gaze glided over the features of Jeonghan’s face, already knowing what the root of the problem was. Maybe you were right, and those feelings never went away. And maybe, those feelings kindly went to sleep, waiting for either of them to realize.

Joshua stood up, just as Jeonghan moved his feet on the sofa to make space on it. “Well, while you digest this, can I have some fun?” Joshua asked with an ease in his tone that nearly sounded sultry to Jeonghan’s ears.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows in mild bewilderment. “Have fun?” he parroted.

Joshua placed his hands on the armrest of the couch, a knee between Jeonghan’s legs and leaned over him, nodding his head with light motions. “Yeah, I’ll have fun while you think about it,” he said with a slightly mocking tone. “What do you say?” he asked in a lower tone as he guided his lips to meet Jeonghan’s in a shallow kiss.

“What if I wanna take my time to think about it?” Jeonghan retorted, tensing on the couch but reciprocating the light kiss with another.

“I’ll give you until Bunny wakes up to do it,” Joshua husked, locking his lips with Jeonghan in a slow kiss of smacking sounds and low hums on both parts.

Jeonghan raised his hands, finding Joshua’s hips, grabbing the waistband of the grey sweats to pull him in, so now Joshua’s crotch was pressed to his own. “I’m lost, what am I thinking about again?” he asked aloofly.

“See, you weren’t even serious about it,” Joshua giggled, lifting a hand from the armrest to meet Jeonghan’s cheek, to then sink his fingers into the dark mane of hair. “You like playing hard to get.”

“I’m not the one that’s hard right now,” Jeonghan quipped sharing another kiss, releasing a quiet grunt upon feeling Joshua’s tongue rolling into his mouth with ease, as though he had kissed Jeonghan’s mouth countless times before.

“You sure about that?” Joshua asked, his sweet tone falling into a sultry one, mirrored in his lust-lidded eyes.

Jeonghan slipped his hands beneath Joshua’s t-shirt, enjoying the way the touch of his cold hands elicited a quick shudder. “What kind of fun are we talking about?”

“The kind of fun that requires you to be quiet so that we don’t wake our girlfriend up,” Joshua smirked, lowering his hips more so he could press his growing erection against Jeonghan’s crotch.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” Jeonghan realized with a low chuckle, letting his hands roam on the line of Joshua’s back.

Joshua smiled in triumph. “Are you going to think about it, then? About moving in with us?”

“It depends,” Jeonghan replied, moving a hand to cup Joshua’s nape, bringing him for another swift kiss.

“On what?” Joshua asked.

Jeonghan smiled. “On how well you fuck me.”

✮ author's note: who would've thought that hannieween could actually write a slow burn for jihan ksjdhgdj

one thing that i wasn't aware of until i wrote this chapter is that i have written too many shower scenes like ... is this my joshushushu side speaking? is this what joshua would've wanted? to have a shower nearly every fucking chapter? lol

also, can you guys believe this is the first chapter in hannieween history that doesn't have p in v sex? o_o

on a side note: i am in a pretty tough spot right now and was asking for help. thank you everyone who has helped me!!

anyway, toodles!

✮ STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER SEVEN!! ✮

JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[dazz-linglight]

Requests are now OPEN.

Welcome to dazz-linglight.

I mostly write female reader, but you can specify if you want male reader. I'm not fond of writing full angst, but I can do mild angst with happy endings! I won't write: smut for underage idols, yandere or toxic relationships.

You can request imagines, reactions, send prompts and anything for the groups below! Also, feel free to ask about me if you're curious too. You can buy me a coffee

EXO (OT9) / GOT7 / Stray Kids / Monsta X / ATEEZ / ENHYPEN / JUST B / Seventeen.

Masterlist below: updated 02/06

Optional bias:

New year, new love

Strawberry & Champagne (fluff)

Comfort after a streesful day/ week

&TEAM:

First Kiss (Ta-ki)

EXO:

New Lipstick (Sehun)

First "I love you"

Promise me (Baekhyun)

Jealous Sehun

Mafia Baekhyun

Best friends to lovers (Baekhyun)

Jealous Chanyeol

GOT7:

Comforting the members (to post)

Enemies to lovers with Yugyeom

Mafia JB

Mafia GOT7

High school lovers

JB getting caught (suggestive)

Jealous reaction

Making out

Mafia Jinyoung

Skincare with Jinyoung

Stray Kids:

Comforting the members (to post)

Them confessing

High school lovers

2:56 Chan fluff

Jealous Felix (m!reader smut)

MONSTA X:

Matching onesies with I.M

First time with Kihyun

Minhyuk fluff

ATEEZ:

Seonghwa corruption kink | part 2 (to post)

A to Z NSFW with San

San hugging a crying fan

Birthday breakfast (oral with Yunho)

7:54p.m (dom!Yunho)

8:34 (Yunho smut)

MIST (Werewolf!Wooyoung)

BIRTHDAY BOY - JONGHO

Getting caught making out with Mingi

INCEPTION (Werewolf!San)

First "I love you" (Wooyoung)

Making out with Jongho

S/o has small hands (San, Seonghwa and Wooyoung)

22:34 Yunho fluff

A to Z NSFW Seonghwa

ENHYPEN:

Sunghoon nipple play

Nose kisses with Jungwon

The moon is beautiful, isn't it (fluffy Ni-ki)

Professor Jake smut

Soft!Dom Jay

First time with Sunghoon

NSFW A-Z Sunghoon

Dry humping Jay

Jay with oral fixation smut

Bad boy Jay smut

Doctor Yang Jungwon (fluff)

Birthday blurb for Sunoo

Smut with bestfriend Sunghoon

Couch sex with Jay

Athlete Jake and cheerleader reader smut

First time with Jay

Crack EN- hyung line

Public sex with Jay

Pool sex with Jay

Sucking Jake off while he's gaming

Bad boy Jay smut

Enemies to lovers Jay smut

Enemies to lovers Jay fluff

Enemies to lovers Jake

Jealous Sunghoon

Rough sex with Sunghoon

Hard dom Sunghoon

First "I love you" with Heeseung smut

NSFW A-Z Jay

Jealous Jay smut

Mafia hyung line

Dominant Heeseung

NSFW A-Z Heeseung

S/o with small titties (hyung line)

Hyung line mtl to do stuff in public

Too hot game with Heeseung

Jealous EN-

First "I love you" with Jay

Pillow fort with Jungwon

Jay taking care of sick s/o

First time with Jay

Making out with Jay

Jay giving you a massage (smut)

Skincare with Sunoo

Sunghoon getting caught (smut)

Getting caught with Heeseung, Jay and Jake

JUST B:

Keep Driving (Geonu)

Despacito (Bain)

Having an idol s/o

Sleepover with Sangwoo

Birthday gift - JM

Bain taking care of a sick s/o

Having a tall s/o

Bath with Bain

[flurrys-creativity]

666 Milestone Collab

After starting this collab in January it is finally time. I’m here to share the masterlist of all the stories written by incredible authors.

I am beyond grateful they joined otherwise this wouldn’t have been possible. Please show these authors much love and enjoy their supernatural stories to the fullest!

Answer / pt.2 by @daemour​​

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader, Choi San x Reader (Ateez); Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Fluff, Angst, Ghost AU, Mystery, Supernatural elements, vaguely horror; Warnings: Religious content, toxic possessiveness, slight yandere, mentions of death, death

Summary: For as long as Seonghwa had been roaming the world as a ghost, he hadn’t remembered much of his life when he was... well... living. But one thing he does remember is you. His childhood friend whom he hadn’t seen since he moved in primary school. So naturally, he seeks you out.

To his surprise, you can see him. He immediately decides to hold onto you for as long as he can. After all, you’re the only tie he has to the living world. He doesn’t want anything to get in the way of what could be a normal life. 

Not even your potential partners.

bàs a tha ri thighinn by @flurrys-creativity

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) x Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Fantasy, Angst, smidges of fluff, hopefully horror, maybe smut; Warnings: tbd.

Summary: You had moved into a house near a small village in the highlands of Scotland, which appeared to be a peaceful place by day with dozens of tourists but turned dangerous at night. Though having the town’s heart throb by your side should be enough for your protection, shouldn’t it?

Blood Red Love by @limjaeseven

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Kim Yugyeom (GOT7); Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Horror, Angst, Hannibal!AU, maybe smut; Warnings: Cannibalism, death, gore and more

Summary: Yugyeom should have remembered that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and that something, or better, someone came in the shape of a tall, handsome, psychiatrist with an impeccable taste in fashion and a penchant for the unspeakable.

Burn the World by @sanjoongie

Pairing: Kang Yeosang (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Smut, Demon AU, Supernatural AU; Warnings: blood, sex, use of the occult, religious aspects

Summary: As the leader of a cult, in an attempt to summon a demon to aid you in taking over the world, you utter a couple of words in Latin wrong and go from “let your powers enter me and me make powerful” to “let YOU enter my body and give me pleasure”. Kang Yeosang, a demon prince of the 2nd circle of Hell aka Lust, answers your summons. With blood sealing the contract, you have no option but to hope for the best and let the demon own your body.

Devotion by @flurrys-creativity

Pairing: Ten (NCT) x Reader; Rating: nsfw,18+, MDNI; Genre: Supernatural AU, Smut, hints of horror at the beginning; Warnings: darkness, imprisonment, being chained up, unprotected sex, riding, marking, making out

Summary: You saw it - no - him. Every night in your dreams. You saw him, spoke with him, touched him. He seemed to know exactly what was happening while you stumbled through the dark. Yet you were drawn to him. Enough to fulfill any request that spilled from his lips.

Knock Knock by @kingsuckjin​

Pairing: Park Jimin (BTS) x Fem!Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Horror, Smut; Warnings: horror, haunting things happen, paranoia, smut, making out, edging, nipple play, dry humping, jimin has a marking and ownership fetish, biting, dirty talk, female fingering, jimin is the biggest fuckboy, this has a few cliché horror tropes

Summary: “Emergency broadcast alert: please remain indoors at this time. Close all curtains and windows, and fo not open any doors, do not let them in. This warning will be in effect until the next update. Please stay safe during this time.”

Say my name (ao3) by @mingsolo​

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Rating: 18+; Genre: Incubus AU, Supernatural AU, Demon AU, Smut; Warnings: sexual themes, mentions of alcohol, manifestations of demonic presence, cursing

Summary: Playing the Ouija board was stupid, but you did it anyways to please your dumb friends. How could you have known that the demon you summoned got a liking to observe you, and decided to toy with your patience until you finally said his name.

Under A Spell by @honeyhuii

Pairing: Yang Jungwon (Enhypen) x Reader; Rating: PG-13; Genre: Magic Academia AU, Love spell AU, Magic AU, Secret Admirer AU, One-sided Enemies to lovers, Classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining; Warnings: prefect!witch!Jungwon, witch!reader, mentions of food, swearing, kissing, minimal fight scenes and kidnapping

Summary: Being in love was never easy. But being in love with Yang Jungwon? That was an oncoming storm. Especiall since he considers you an enemy... But you were completely head over heels for the prefect and would coninue to send him love notes every day even if it means that’s the only way he’ll notice you... Well that was until your two best friends decide to give you a love potion that makes Jungwon fall for you.. You should’ve given the label a read before you put it in his locker because if Jungwon didn’t already dislike you, now he definitely will.

Once again a big thank you to all the authors that joined this crazy journey! Thanks so much for putting up with my chaos! I had an incredible time and hope you had a similar joy in this collab.

[3raaaachachacha]

10:37 pm

Kim Yugyeom x female reader / 558 words / smut

Warnings: face fucking, cursing, degrading, oral male receiving, consensual filming, use of sex toys

Disclaimer: contains 18+ content; minors do not interact

Day twenty-seven of kinktober - kim yugyeom x face fucking

⊱ ─────────────────────── ⊰

"Lay on the bed for me baby, head over here," He instructed, hands tapping on the end of the bed. He watched you climb to your position in awe, completely bare for him, loving how easy it was for you to obey him. Smiling with satisfaction, he moved to grab your vibrator and placed it against your clit.

"Hold it there while I fuck your throat, baby," He smirked, while watching you lick your lips in prepartion before grabbing his phone to record this moment, with your permission, of course.

Yugyeom slid his hand up and down his already leaking cock before, angling the camera towards your face and placing it at your already awaiting lips, tongue on display for him. You swirled it around his tip, licking and pressing butterfly kisses to the head before he made a move. 

A small whimper escaped your lips and your eyes fluttered shut in delight, relaxing your jaw to allow Yugyeom to thrust his cock into your mouth. The fact that Yugyeom had your head hanging off the bed helped the angle of his cock to fit down your throat. He groaned in satisfaction, watching as his cock went deeper and deeper and he could see the outline down your throat.

"Fuck baby," He groaned, gripping at your head to keep you down, "Your always so good at this."

You moaned in acknowledgement, tapping at his wrist with your free hand to indicate you were okay and ready for more. Once Yugyeom got the signal, he placed one hand on your breasts and the other holding his phone tightly before he began to fuck into your throat.

The sound of your whimpers and gagging of his cock filled the room. The vibrations on your clit begin to become too much, causing your body to shake with an approaching orgasm. Yugyeom tilted the camera away from your face and angled it towards your core before moving forward and shoving two of his long fingers into you. It didn't take long for your high to approach and you pushed Yugyeom's cock back a little to grasp onto some air before he placed it back into your mouth.

He removed the vibrator from your senstive clit as he continued to fuck your throat. Hollowing your cheeks around him as best you could, sucking him diligently. Your whimpers and gags sounded out as his groans filled the room. Without warning, he spilled his warm seed down your throat for you to swallow.

"Shit, baby," He groaned breathlessly with eyes closed.

Groaning in pure delight, Yugyeom slowed his thrusts before pulling his cock out completely. Loving the way your saliva and his seed slowly began to drip from your mouth. He admired the view for a few minutes, giving the camera some quality screen time before turning it off and in the search for something to clean your face with. Although, once he began to move, you pulled him into a heated embrace.

Yugyeom instantly groaned at the taste of his seed, but pushed that feeling away when he felt your hand stroking his cock again. Smirking in satisfaction, Yugyeom pushed himself against the mattress, pulling you on top to straddle his waist.

"You know what to do," He said with a grin, hands placed firmly on your waist, "And don't make me wait, baby." 

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

- Admin 🌶️