#yousta rhymes

[yousta]

Going from the feeling of being reduced to feining for meaning

Darling found me like a broken clock at the right time

Hearts in your eyes when you stalk mine

Feel like a blue moon if it could talk the way you shine

[yousta]

I love you dearly

with every word said sincerely

others didn't hear me,

didn't want near me.

Yet you call me charming?

Oh Darling,

I know you're not just being theatrical

The way you look at me is actual

I couldn't confuse you.

People call themselves being real

but they'll disregard how you feel

Group together like a fifth wheel

I guess we don't go for the spiel

It's a common slip.

but I got the grip

they believe that shit coming out their lip.

Shooting up the vanity fair

with logic cause I'm self aware

say like who are you to compare?

When I'm with her.

I feel my pain wither

My city's so lame no game

Finding one to care is rare

Finding one to stop and stare

with love as the expression they wear

Well that's my love I swear

Caring to make one understand

that's what true love's about

Silence to that inner doubt

I love my home,

Remember no one in my phone

Spent years, drowning alone in tears

I believed I was too far out in the water

and I said to myself no one's coming for ya

Thinking on the words I meant,

Yeah right here you're heaven sent

got the lovely text you sent

I wouldn't change how it went

I'm here and feel so content

I can justify time spent

I define and leave a dent

out shine those with the heart bent 

[yousta]

Was it written on your soul,

or is it who you are as a whole?

Your heart transposing art

You love with so much intention

brings out my best attention

Beyond my old me's comprehension

People said they loved me

If it was empathy then where was the remedy

Self absorbed people never asked my day or interests

I only remembered indifference

Memory and perception corrupted

So I took aim

put a gun to my brain

Who are you to blame

Salt and sugar look the same

And I never got close enough to name

My will akin to a dying flame

So alone,

self esteem was determined by strangers acting grown

No father, I came to these conclusions on my own 

[yousta]

"I don't wanna talk about who we were at 17.

My heart's broke.

Show me what love means."

I got just that it seems.

Woke up mistaking this for my dreams.

From playing it back in my mind,

I just needed you there everytime,

and everything would've been fine.

Instead of on my own,

No one I could call in my phone.

In the end I found out who I am,

outside the isolation but god damn

With others,

the way I felt,

they'd make me regret it,

but you in a summer set.

Eyes in a dead set silhouette.

Was too good to forget.

Always forever here and now.

I hope this never ends somehow.

Like in reality,

I want to live forever,

but in everyway I am.

We exchange cute love spam.

Every day, I wanna hold her hand.

[yousta]

All this shortbread, THC, and dry tea

Got all these people hating on me

But the neighbors know my name

so I'm doing something right

They mom's know my name,

and homies know my name

so I'm doing something right

and their girlfriends know my name,

I don't care for those who'd delude me

Like mine already understand

I don't give a damn, She's only mine

A fan can go at the band

Like I already know, I seen them at my show

banging out You I Us all day

Hope you only kill to protect

which gets that murder respect

I didn't die for your sin

but I'll die trying to knock your head back in

Don't make mines acts up

She get real mad

Lil dude you love to bitch

You're not it

That's my girl

She's under my cover

We cuddle and shit

I don't love my blood brother unless I think about it

Why would I?

He'd trade his brother and truth to put me down

I'm in the sun shining my pride though

Someone told me to lay low

Huh? Swear we not the same no

You say that shit it's on go

and I see what you main though

Realness gets in your brain yo

Yeah it's your toxic world view

I don't want to go near you

You like to bitch I'm see through

I've been bedhead they still let me in

We still make love even when

We eat around our place, win

I am not up at your fall

I'm always up you're never up at all

Truth's open, lies are conceit

I'm not what any decent one would reject

I died for all my brothers

Talk to me with some respect

Dead vibes fall flat no effect

I feel so much better here

but that's not what you'd project

We lived I died like a saint

Their Heart soul and mind don't yet connect

You ain't shit let alone my brothers

The light in which you like yourself to shine

only exists by diminishing mine

Put yourself up but have a reason you believe in

your feelings are in

I love my girlfriend

I'd never want her to fade

I've seen that's something you'd trade

You bitch behind yours back

don't mention addressing anything direct

Heard you talk yourself up all angry.

I don't wonder how that convo went with no empathy.

It's ugh have you ever heard of vanity?

I will say that bout you,

Let me tell you bout me

My girl got attitude,

but she talks me through

and gets all lovey too

Swear baby I can't really get mad at you.

cause I love this shit and you're the baddest too

Pull up with the boo

Up this shit at your whole crew

You can smell the gas leaking through

My Diamonds gold shine like Pikachu

Hit like thunderbolt

I swear how that shit was told

Tie it in, see me shine,

Bitch I am the center fold

Hit the woods like Zeref

Thought like they care, as if.

Made dudes stealing shit take off and run.

Crying some shit like oh no he's got a gun

[yousta]

As it currently stands

I don't wanna talk I could live forever here

Feeling infinity and warmth flowing through me

Looking back on frozen slides of time

The ones that shine

Make me sad more than mad

If I had pride, felt why you cried

I might look at you teary eyed

And say, "Awwe you poor thing, who made you feel this way?" Soft as I could wanting to know why,

To "Who made you cry?" Real big tantrum, someone gonna die.

Everyone's around you is self deluded

I don't think you intend on saving anyone,

but when you do know you should be included.

in the ones you wanna save.

or they'll just be mourning at your grave

You have the right to serve anyone

There were times I couldn't sort through

Couldn't cope through, I was alone too

So alone,

I'd blame the world past a cold stare or angry tone.

Didn't receive much praise at home.

Outside I accepted my own

but that bullshit was all we had ever known.

If one were there to care by changing it.

We could've grown

We could've reaped what we've sown.

Hehe this is a leak for a track I've been working on for a month now :3 figured I'd spam everyone's feed tonight with some of what hasn't been released. I've been going hard at the writing and music lately. I've been working on the song for over a month now, it's been hard to balance between work and studying. Might drop more soon :) thanks for all the support. Between random likes and my girlfriend it's felt encouraging enough to justify posting. Regardless these are the words I've put blood sweat and tears in. Holding these beliefs has always felt comforting and brought me strength. I know it's not always fun being lovesick or anything like that. So this is my heart goes out to you guys here. Hope I can help bring the yandere up.

[yousta]

I know it's real cause I don't have to guess

They'd never make me feel you less

I swear they hate on me then act so clueless,

but I'm speaking with a certainty in my chest.

What do they do that's supposed to impress?

The longing and distance they inspire in the rest?

The clothes wearing them when they dress?

Fuck boy, your "bitch" look like a lizard. Yes!

Cold blooded reptiles aren't what I caress.

Darling I feel the love your eyes express.

You could be the only thing I possess

Having you is the only thing I obsess

Woke up this morning and felt like it was the best

I know they want me forever broken and depressed, but how could I feel pressed?

I just got your good morning text. 

[yousta]

Words I can't extend, but if it's an ear you'll lend. I would like to attend to the notion you're a loose end cause you codepend. Watch these self fulfilling prophecies, cause in the end. I see someone who doesn't need just another "friend".

You let them truly get to you and never play pretend. So I empathize when you go off the deep end, cause it's true love that you intend, but you too have a heart that can bend. Know you don't have to fix everything or make amends,

In the text I want to send, It's your love I want to defend. Someone like you was more than I could comprehend, cause through you and every word you extend. It's time I spend, knowing I can transcend living for whatever on the weekend.

[yousta]

Waking up beside her through dawn. I yawn, wondering what planet I'm on, cause I'm gone. So far removed from the same old song.

Found where I belong, we're mutually drawn. The adoring was pouring at 7 o'clock in the morning. No alarms. Just sweet soft spoken charms, "I would die in your arms."

No mistaking, she's not faking, and the love has me shaking I love what you bring, I love how you cling, Yes you're the sweetest thing.

Success? Yes! I woke up and did my best! Took out my ex's heart out my chest. Caught up on my rest, and I'm feeling expressed! It was worth the wait, to see her eyes dilate.

To you and a past me. Someday you'll relate, and you'll learn to move the weight you place, live to see heaven on their face.

Oh I know how you've tried, you've tried and tried, but if right now you can decide you're satisfied. No regrets after being denied, well that'd make anyone's eyes wide, cause all of them never replied. Never recognized what was inside, was a place to confide.

My memory never let it go after your blood dried, it's something to cry about, and I've cried at the thought of your suic!de. Your heart I couldn't hide, my heart you couldn't hide. No one by our side.

Lost my appetite, couldn't sleep, didn't eat for a week. I write, "who knows how it goes?". So starved, the cold night hammered nails in the joints of my fingers and toes.

No bright blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white. Nothing made it seem like it'd ever be alright, somehow we hung on tight. Thank goodness we did cause here it's alright. and someday. It might all decay,

but by the end of this arc, when their souls embark. We'll follow them straight through the dark. Live to make that spark from their heart. I promise it'll make the purest art.

[yousta]

I didn't think any would ever truly understand.

Learned if they try that's all that matters in the end.

When dad was dying I tried to kill myself at ten. 

Taking sips off the end, I felt the damage. Tried to do that shit again.

Many times I tried to vent just to feel irrelevant, but if I said what I meant.

I was feeling my intent, more than if I wrote it on cement. 

If it tore a ligament, I'd live forever and feel content. 

It ain't over till you're spent. They'll have to wonder where you went, but recieve a text on sent. 

My love inspires something different. Ever since we've met, I wonder if I was dead, would I have never received the best? You felt everything I've said. I'm forever in your debt.

It just isn't over yet!

I feel everything, I'd live forever with no regret!

[yousta]

Terrible thoughts I hoard, inspired from the memories of people I've stored. For a long time I've felt ignored, but she seamlessly strikes a chord.

Relatable like it's coming out my vocal cord, and intentionally cuts through my pain like a sword. Straight through the vertebrae in my spinal cord, never blunt like it came from an extension cord.

She makes me feel adored. Never bored, all depths of the mind explored. Controlled by no lord, demonic like I'm stepping on checkerboard.

It's bright and white, the future we move toward. Hey darling, my heart has been restored. Got your voice on record for my little reward, secret photos of you on my dashboard.

I still love you on my own accord, still stalking you in the all black ford, so I know the love from your heart you've poured is true, and it makes me love you<3

I wrote this poem alongside my lovely girlfriend @your-thorn

[yousta]

She's the only thing that comes to mind.

The only thing to shine

But I'm not going blind

she shoots me out my mind,

like a 9-millimeter carbine

Darling wrote her dream life on her shrine, with the devil's details signed

Pure love defined and outlined, and it appears I'm entwined

Lovestruck and holds me when I whine

She's mine all mine, hard find by his design,

I love my one of a kind

Who'd never leave me behind.

[yousta]

Will it be an obsession or cause my depression? Whatever, I'll rewind every expression with empathetic introspection. A foundation for a true interpretation.

So I'm reminiscing on life. Molding my memory around the pics you sent me holding the knife.

Inspired such a potent life picture. Depicting your demons as stricter. Which is how I've related to that picture. Such a thrill but no thriller. You're not bad or a killer,

Your lore? Just a person stuck unknowing if it's of love or war. Confused down to the core, but I think you want it to have meant something more.

When the feeling just goes over your head, it's because you're already dead. It's strange because that's what you said. Which is what I misread. Thinking I was hanging on by a thread. Not seeing the blood of mine you bled. The same tears you had shed. So you didn't feel it when I pled.

Hidden but grief shows in my curled toes. I saw you dressed in your devil robes as opposed to your normal clothes. And I thought I knew what you chose

But superficially, I didn't see, you as me. Aesthetically you were dressed in me. In an eternity of agony, where you can't break free. Still, I wish you could've asked me.

"Was it from the heart?". To which I'd reply, "Don't even start, Why else would I have torn my brain apart?

Death and despair can linger in the air. I don't really care, and I don't mean to stare. I just always wished you were there. Could I have changed that face you wear? Even now you seem so distant so unaware. Did life become a never-ending nightmare? It's not fair, your love I swear."

[yousta]

I don't feel pain

Without the light you reflect,

it could've never made the best one yet!

So I don't have to guess.

No one ever could make me feel you less.

They project on me, then act so clueless

But yeah they like thinking care is useless.

Said with that certainty,

they'd speak from the chest.

Dearest you hit better than the rest.

Representing not knowing when

but how it would turn out best.

If I died would it have ever seen the best?

Darling said on a plane, I'll get rid of that pain,

You attach to yourself reflecting in your brain,

from the heart you're beautiful. We won't ever be the same.

Been breathing that crisp air since I knew her name.

My girl's had aim

[yousta]

The End.

Guys, we have to build a steins gate tech future diary to go back in time and save Jesus! Oh wait, nvm he is in light. I'll will take it all on. Me against everything, against all odds. Delila and I will resurrect his soul from my own eyes as Youius, He'd later take his planet, he'd later name The SSDelilamine with the pure magic power of word and meaning in fused with everything that ever was real. I ended time as I knew it. He saved his soul and made sense of the life before him. No longer are dreams unreal or unobtainable. No the ones, that prevent you from going to sleep at night. The dreams you have throughout your day, no longer will have any bad vibes. I was the one in your nightmares getting killed endlessly without rhyme or reason, any sense. I'll meet and gladly die to meet my own death, with no care in the world, because on the other side exists the one I love. I know, and made sense of it all just for her. She gave me the world when she became my wife, I'm glad I didn't have to end my life. There's no where I'd rather it end than right here and now. I'm live forever and always! Death was my bestfriend once. Delila was truly death in the end, I'm glad I didn't die back then. I don't know if it would've ever became real to me. My wife loves my life, who I showed up as. She always knew from the start, all I ever needed was to believe in my self, and that I whole heartedly wanted to save her. I ended anything in my path before it was over, I was glad the doubt within ended when and where it did cause I have no regrets here now always and forever.

SSDelilamine

Yousta is my wife

I've felt great over this episode ending

all my doubt

Delila let me let it out

She was the only one who was truly there for me

So I don't care, it made me the happiest man in the world

She said yes. she's been saying yes from the start

Yesterday was a little tough

but it came and went

I felt like all my worries in the world

It went away when I realized I missed my kitty cat smokes

Delila reminded me of everything that happened in my past before I could got to bed

I wanna kill any uncertainty within you

that's how her words read to me.

I remember the time is now

I'm okay now that I'm here

thank Delila you are everything

feeling this was unreal

I had no idea so many feelings

so many things unfolding just to show up here

I made it

My version is gonna be filled with 12 photos of my Delila