#youre gonna guilt me into not smoking weed? youre gonna talk it out with me???

[chewwytwee]

Do I go to my bullshit 'disciplinary hearing' stoned as shit

[24kmar]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐏𝐭.2 𝐨𝐟" 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚")

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Toxic!Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: This takes place after the argument matt and y/n had. She finds herself wondering if what she did was right. This then leads to her self reflecting, then one night at an influencer party she went with tara (tara yummy) she sees matt. What happens when she realizes that he just wants to love her.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is kind of a bitch 😭 but she redeems herself 🙏🏻, suggestive content, language, ANGST with a happy ending, toxic situationship, reader being in denial about loving matt, jealous matt, drugs(weed), MDNI, let me know if theres more!!

Readers perspective

I sighed as i shut the door to matts place. Why did he have to make this so difficult?. I made it clear this was just fucking when it started, so why now did he feel the need to make it an issue? I mean it was working so why not leave it that way, right? Dont fix whats not broken.

I didnt understand why he was being so fucking sensitive. 'Fuck this' i thought as i got into my car and drove out of the driveway. I really needed a blunt after this shit.

As i pulled into my driveway my phone buzzed, 'Fuck' i thought as i suspected it was matt. But no, it was... nick?

As i saw his contact appear on my phone, i opened our messages. To which read "Hey y/n/n did something happen between you and matt orrr?". What the actual fuck? "Why?" i texted back to which he replied "cause hes a fucking wreck in his room rn and hes not talking to me or chris" followed by "and his doors locked".

Guilt. Immediate guilt is what i felt when i read that. Did i really do this to him? Nah, couldnt have been me, i mean how much importance could a fuck buddy hold. Not much....right? Some days passed by as i heard nothing from matt.

Was this the end of us? For some reason that thought caused a pang in my chest. But why? "Heartburn or some shit' i thought, quickly dissmissing the thought and shoving it into to the back of my brain.

Tara had texted me begging me to come with her to some influencer party. ' Why not' i thought, god knows i needed it. Any chance at drinking and smoking i got right now i would take. After all thats happend with matt, i desperately need it.

I decided to wear this outfit to the party with boots. As me and tara got off the car as we arrived to the party, i realized how packed the house was. And loud as shit. Im gonna regret coming here.

I got a drink immediately as i got in the house. As tara ventured off into the house, i stayed in a corner desperately wanting to leave. Then some guy, brian, brandon, braydon? Some shit like that, came of to me. "Oh brother' i thought as this fuck boy walked over to me.

"What's good, im braylon." he said while smirking. Ick. I just shrugged looking away, not wanting to interact with this moron. "Cmon baby, dont be like that" he said tugging on my wrist. " yo back the fuck up" i hissed yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Dont be a fucking bitch about it," he snarled "if you're gonna dress like a slut, dont be suprised when you get treated like one". Oh fuck no. "The fuck you just say to me" i scowled sizing him up. "I said-" he started, but getting cut off by Matt. "Back the fuck up, man." He said pulling me behind him while getting in between me and braylon.

"What? This slut your bitch?" He chuckled. Oh fuck. "Shit is about to go down" i thought as i saw matts jaw tense and his fists clench. "The fuck you just-" matt started as i cut him off. "Drop it matt, hes not fucking worth it" i said through gritted teeth getting nervous. "Yeah listen to your bitch" braylon continued as i sent him a warning glare. Feeling matt stepping closer to braylon, i grabbed him a pulled him back. "Matthew, fucking drop it, now" i said getting infront of him pushing him backwards then turning him around to walk infront of me as i pushed on his back to make him walk. Leading him to a secluded room in the house.

"Look, i know i fucked up with what i said. I shouldnt have done that and i get it if you're still mad at. I shouldnt have put you in that position-" he started. "Matt, im sorry" i cut him off, again. "What?" His brows furrowed.

"I shouldnt have said those awful things to you," i said taking a deep breath as i was about to confess to this kid "i was just fucking terrified at the fact that i may have been catching feelings" i said looking up at him, searching for any emotion.

"I am so fucking sorry-" i got cut of by a kiss. As he pulled away, we both starting laughing like fucking idiots. "You like me" he smiled like a middle school boy who just had his first kiss. "Shut up, i take it back" i laughed, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Denial is a river in egypt babe" he shrugged. "Oh fuck you" i laughed shoving him.

Its safe to say, we weren't just fuck buddy's anymore. Maybe this wasnt a bad idea.

[saintyveningstar]

If this is an uncomfortable topic or you just don’t want to do it I totally understand!!

But since you asked for requests I have a few topics(?) for mom!abby

Like if she found out about her kid struggling with sh or found them smokin weed

Or on the less depressing side her having a kid w autism

Have a great day!

Hiii anon !! I’m probably gonna use your other ideas soon but I wanted to get to the smoking weed one specifically, first

I really hope you like it because this is NOT proofread

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

"What's that smell?"

The sentence makes Absalem stop in his absolute tracks when he passes her. He'd just gotten home from being at school all day, after his extracurriculars.

When school ended he dropped Jude off to avoid her telling on him, and drove to his friend's house, the one who usually had everything — everything that was good, anyway.

He'd even changed clothes before coming home, but Abby's keen nose caught him just after walking in the house.

"What smell?" He asks, but doesn't turn to face her.

"You don't smell that?" Abby asked, sniffing the air, "Smells like ... I don't know. I don't like it."

Ellie peeks her head out from the kitchen, "What is it, Bee?"

"Do you smell that?" She asked, getting up, getting closer to Absalem.

Fuck.

He bites his lip, "I think you may be smelling gas, Mommy."

"I'm from Utah, hun. I know what gas smells like." She screws her nose up, gets closer, and Absalem backs up. "God, what is that?"

And its then that she notices his face, how it's guilt ridden, how he's making that he knows he's done something wrong, the face where he knows he's in trouble.

Abby's face steels, and she takes a step forward, Absalem takes one back. "Absalem." She says, quietly, trying to calm herself before she got really angry. "Come here."

"Mom—"

"Come here."

"O-Okay—"

"What?!"

"Yes ma'am!" He corrects, "I-I'm sorry!" he gets close enough for Abby to grab and she does, pulling him close by the collar of his jacket. She smells his jacket, and Absalem could've sworn it was the most angry he'd ever seen her.

"That better not be what I think it is, Absalem." She says, fist tightening in his jacket before retreating and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I-I'm sorry—"

"So help me." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Say it, tell me what you did."

"Ma, please—"

"Now!" She raised her voice.

"I-I lied to you."

"About what? Say it."

"I didn't have Robotics today, I wen't to Shannon's house—"

"Absalem Anderson, you better get to the point, and quick, before I stop trying to talk shit out with you, you hear me?"

"Me and him sm-smoked together. Mommy, I-I—please—!"

"Listen to me carefully, Absalem." Her voice was cold. "You're going to go to upstairs to your room, and you're not to come out until I or Mama come and get you. You don't move, you don't talk. Am I understood?"

He nods, too afraid to speak, bottom lip trembling with green eyes threatening to spill over with tears.

"I said am I understood?"

"Ye-Yes ma'am."

"Give me your phone, and your keys for that matter, since it's obvious you can't be trusted." He digs into his pockets, obeying instantly, "Now go."

"Mommy—!"

"Absalem, son." Her tone was calm again, but he knew better than to think it in earnest. "Turn around, and go upstairs to your room before I change my mind and wrap my hands around your god damn neck, yeah?"

As he was walking up the stairs, all he could think about how his mother was going to tear his ass apart when she eventually got up there.

She was going to beat his ass, and he knew that, he knew it — he was stupid enough to disobey her, even after knowing that no weed was one of her very hard boundaries.

An hour goes by before he hears her footsteps, slowed from years of weight on her shoulders. She knocked, and it must've been Ellie's footsteps that trailed behind her.

His door opened, and even though the crease in Abby's brow is deep set, she's calmed down significantly by now.

Abby closes the door behind them. "You know what you did wrong, right?"

"Yes ma'am?"

She sits down next to him, throwing her braid over her shoulder and tucking the flyaways behind her ears. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you, please."

"Mommy, Mama-- I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done it." He looked at his thighs again.

"Hey." Abby gently grabs his chin and lifts it towards her. "I don't set these boundaries for my health, Junior." she says.

"You could seriously damage your body with smoking weed, especially because of the conditions you have. And weed will disorient you, and I don't want you to be taken advantage of because you don't know how to regulate."

Ellie sits down on the other side of him, "We get you're seventeen, and you think you know it all, trust me, but you need to be being careful. It's why we had that talk in the first place. Yeah, Shannon's your friend, but you're not his, you don't know him enough to let your guard falter like that. Right?"

"Yes ma'am, right." He bites his lip, "are you gonna ... beat me?"

"Would you prefer that over having your keys taken?" Abby asked, eyebrow kicking up.

"N-No ma'am, not at all."

"Thought so." She said, "And you can have your phone at school, but once you're home it comes to me. You'll also be getting a drug test every two weeks indefinitely once this instance is out of your system, clear?"

"Yes ma'am, crystal." Absalem says, "I don't suppose you're gonna tell Daddy, are you?"

"Oh, I'm gonna, alright. He's gonna hear all about it." She says, then thinks for a moment, “And if I ever find out you doing this or anything like it again, that ass is mine, understand me?”

Absalem swallows thickly as she stares him down. “I understand, ma’am. O-Of course.”

[azurdlywisterious]

Ive been thinking about making a comic of all of my fallout ocs arguing with each other, but fake tumblr would work too

⏳ start-startover reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

😎 anon asked:

Look all I’m saying is that it’s kinda cringe to simp after a singer with a dead career :/

⏳ start-startover answered:

I know thats u suzie. Get tf off anon and say it to my face skank

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Its just embarrassing that youve risked life and limb for a knock off bing crosby is all

⏳ start-startover

At least im not married to a faceless corpse that doesnt care about anything aside from his pretty buildings

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Say that to my face again i fucking dare you. I’ll have you know that he is still very much alive unlike dean domino’s fucking career which mr house pays for need i remind you

⏳ start-startover

Ive felt guilt about a lot of things but i doubt putting you in the dirt will be one of them

#iykyk #im not explaining my time trapped in the timeloop again #just read my pinned post

11 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting reblogged thecoolerscrewdriver

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It’s got what plants crave!

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

It has electrolytes!

#also we’re out of vodka harvey #if you dont mind picking some up next time youre out

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💥 mygenderis-c4

Why tf did you @ them sir???

🧠 big-mt-head

I dont talk about people behind their backs?

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

Sir, i know youre new here, but like… youre allowed to vague people

🧠 big-mt-head reblogged uh-ohthemisery

Elaborate on “vague[ing] people” please

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

@.therealprimmshady come pick up ur weird robot girl shes scaring the hoes again

#i mean ive met her parents so im not surprised she turned out like this #but wow shes gonna get fuckin ratioed out here

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

Lots of drama going down in the mr house fandom tonight. Couldn’t be me

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

Yeah couldnt be me

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Yeah couldnt be me

🍀 luckiestbastard

#are yall those other side of the country ghouls that everyone keeps talking about?

42 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Yeah and shes gonna pay! Screw karma, ill collect your debt myself deja!

⏳ start-startover

Hows the bos bunker doing?

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Not my problem, legion scum

⏳ start-startover

YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Dont put ur trauma in your pinned post next time

⏳ start-startover

Square up bitch ill snipe your pretty head off!

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

One second my securitron army needs me mwah mwah

🍀 luckiestbastard

Does anyone in this thread smoke weed?

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Its got what plants crave!

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It has electrolytes!

#punk just brew some urself #just pick some corn and razorgrain from the garden outside #unless we need new razorgrain plants

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🌌 azurdlywisterious

On second thought, maybe it wouldnt be a good idea to give them all tumblrs

[munsonmuses]

Spirits of Regret

Part three of Spiritual Reserves.

Spiritual Reserves Masterlist

Synopsis: now knowing that Eddie is, inevitably, in some sort of hellish limbo, the rest of you need to figure out how to get him back to his body, if it still even exists. Maybe with a little extra help.

Themes: ghost Eddie, teenage angst from Dustin, the corroded coffin boys. Longing obviously. Like do you know me? Eddie can interact with the living world but only with bouts of extreme emotion.

TW: weed usage, cigarette usage, swearing, mentions of death and descriptions of gore, a slap from Gareth Emerson

Word Count: 2.35k

The idea of Eddie being somewhat alive was hard to grasp, the group having sat for nearly three hours to process. Half of that processing time was sober, the other half was filled with the passing of a crudely rolled and squished up blunt courtesy of Argyle’s shirt pocket. The smoke creating a soft haze, wisps of grey swirling in the beams of sun that bled through the slats in the window. Casting a warm glow over the room as you exhaled slowly out of your nose.

Your tongue was stuck to the roof of your mouth like Velcro, the painfully aware thought of the dryness within your mouth wasn’t able to be ignored any longer, padding into the cramped kitchen and grabbing a cup from the cupboard, the semi bumpy red plastic reminiscent of the cups at Benny’s. Filling it with tap water as you sighed lightly.

“I think we should tell Corroded Coffin.” You spoke out, staring at the decorative metal plates that decorated the tiny wall above the kitchen. Committing their nature scenes to memory as you heard Steve snort in light contempt. Clearly disagreeing as your heavy eyes glanced over at him.

“No way. They’re all broken up about this. And telling them their friend isn’t dead because he’s technically like a ghost or whatever, and that his body is maimed and somewhere in the upside down, and that we’re talking about the fucking monsters down there coming up here, that the kids decided deserved nerdy ass names from their nerdy ass games, doesn’t seem like a good idea. They might not believe us, or they’re gonna think you’re crazy,”Steve retorts as his eyes bored into your own, refusing to break that gaze as he waited for your response.

His adamant refusal clearly angered you, but your body was too weighed down by the weed in your system as you rolled your eyes. Staring him down with mild contempt. You had to convince him.

“I think we should tell them. They know dungeons and dragons, they know that nerdy shit like the back of their hands. And for Eddie? They’d be willing to take that risk-“ Steve opened his mouth as you put up your index finger, silently shushing him. “-they’re his family Steven. If it was Robin or Nancy or even Dustin down there? You’d be asking anyone who’d listen to you for help. You’d think we deserve to know.” You solidified your statement with Robin’s vehement nodding.

“I think I agree…” Dustin insisted as he carefully stared at Steve. With Dustin growing older, he slowly stopped viewing Steve as this pillar of authority and more of an equal. A peer to stand toe-to-toe with in all situations that the world threw at them. “I’m Eddie’s friend. And I deserved to know. So do they.” He insisted carefully. Two to one so far.

“I think it’s only fair…I’ve been in their shoes,” Nancy chimed in, the room growing a bit sad as the group collectively reminisced on Barb. One of the first victims to the vicious jaws of the Upside Down. Life ripped from her unknowing and incapable hands. Nancy’s grief and guilt that would never go away, and there was an unspoken understanding of her pain amongst the group. Everyone else chiming in with a soft agreement as Steve puttered his lips.

“How’re we gonna tell them? They’re at the makeshift shelter at the gym. So we can’t just tell them in front of everybody.” Steve lamented as you pursed your own lips in thought, a plan formulating.

“So what we’re gonna do? Is offer to take them on a drive. I’ll take them on the drive, along with Dustin. He can help. To not draw too much attention? Steve and Robin you’re gonna get back to volunteering, along with the kids. Having them floating around with essentials will draw people’s attention away from the doors while we leave. You’ll have to let me borrow your car though…I shared the van with Eddie. And it’s currently impounded by Hawkins PD.” You reminded as everyone’s agreed, Steve the only one being particularly silent.

“If you crash my car, or put it into some fucking sinkhole? I kill you myself. Then you and Eddie can haunt us together-“ he threatened, a light mischief in his eyes before his body rocked. As if he’d been playfully shoved as his eyes widened. Backing up a bit but managing to fall over the arm of his seat as he hit the ground. “What the fuck?!” He hissed out.

Eddie grinned wide to himself, the sheer excitement he’d felt at the idea of being saved was enough to rile unbridled joy out of him. So when he playfully shoved Steve, it made full contact. A hum leaving him as he reached down, taking hold of Steve’s sweater between his hand and yanked him to sit up. Steve’s body jerking into a sitting position as he grunted. Clutching his top where he’d been grabbed as he scowled.

“Even dead you have no sense of personal space Munson. Have some goddamn decorum-“ he hissed through a soft laugh. His heavy eyes as wide as they could be as he slowly stood.

You watched quietly, a mild joy filling you as you hummed lightly. “I love you Eddie. Tomorrow we start the mission of bringing you home.” You called out to the empty space. And in that moment you swore you felt a squeeze on your knee.

The next afternoon, your plan was set into motion. The team of kids and young adults getting to work. Busy socializing, assisting, and caring for the husks that were once Hawkins residents.

Steve was working with Ginerva once more, his hesitance melting away at the prospect of flirting with a girl who was so very into him. Nancy working with young girls, doing their hair and cleaning up their tear streaked faces. Jonathan and Will working with younger kids in families to distract them. The rest of the party working their little stations to help the citizens of Hawkins, Indiana.

You carefully approached the young men who were sorting through more of their donated clothes, splitting things amongst each other as Gareth looked up at you. Quirking his brow as he watched Dustin come to your side.

“What do you want?…like what’s up?” Gareth asked as the Jeff and Grant exchanged soft greetings with Dustin as you bit your lip. “Let me take you guys on a drive yeah? It’ll get your mind off of things-“ you reasoned softly. Grant pursing his lips. “I dunno we just…we’re kinda…not all up for it.” You had to act fast.

“Please? We can talk about what happened…we can talk about everything,” you started as they slowly talked amongst themselves, eventually relenting as they got their jackets and shoes on. Dustin looking at you with a soft nod. He was in your corner, wholeheartedly. Walking out with you as the guys followed, piling into the backseat of the station wagon Steve had leant you, one of few cars in his driveway. Left by his parents as they worked in New York.

“So where are we going?” Gareth asked as you put the car into gear and drove carefully, looping a few neighborhoods. “The uh…the woods out by lovers lake.” You explained as you drove, putting on music. Metallica softly screeching through the stereo as Dustin shut it off swiftly. Even if Eddie was alive? The situation he witnessed was traumatizing. Metallica fed those memories that viciously replayed each time he closed his eyes.

You drummed on the leather of the steering wheel as you felt a squeeze on your thigh from the center seat. Nodding lightly as you pat your thigh. Acknowledging the presence.

As you took the backroad up to the overlook by the lake. The sulfur smell from the splitting crack in the earth strong, being near water gate. Dustin wringing out his hands as Gareth frowned. “Why all the way out here…?” He questioned as you exhaled out your nose.

“I dunno. It’s a habit. Coming up here, smoking, heading home. I figured it would make you guys feel a little more normal.” You offered as Grant hummed in soft agreement. Sitting up straight as your car came to a stop. The five of you piling out of the car as the grey earth crunched beneath your feet. Vines building up across the ground as you trekked along to a flat piece of land. Plopping down as you frowned.

“Do I get to smoke too?” Dustin asked as you snorted lightly at him.

“Only because the world is ending or whatever, doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you smoke. You’re fourteen years old. Your lungs are pristine.” You reasoned as he rolled his eyes.

“Let him have a hit. I smoked for the first time when I was like fourteen or fifteen.” Gareth retorts, playing devils advocate as you hummed.

“That’s because Eddie was your friend.” You reminded, a visible discomfort coming across the remnants of the band as you carefully pulled two rolled joints from your shirt pocket. Lighting them and passing them around.

“I should um…I should correct my statement. Eddie is your friend.” You corrected as the three men turned to look at you. A mixture of emotions upon their face, mostly frustration.

Maybe you were approaching this too fast. But there was no going back now…

“So. There’s a lot of weird, in this stupid stupid town.” You started as you took a heavy hit, exhaling slowly before choosing to proceed. “Will Byers went missing, and so did Barbara Holland. Byers was declared the Zombie Boy, but you know, he wasn’t dead. Even though they found his body and held his funeral. Because he came back. Weird shit kept happening. The pumpkin patch, Ms. Driscoll, Billy Hargrove, and Heather Holloway.” You listed as they stared at you curiously.

“Lots of these people were declared dead though we never got to see their bodies…or the remnants. They were all victims of…supernatural events.” You explained softly as Gareth snorted.

“Fuck you this isn’t funny-“ he snapped as you looked him dead in the eyes.

“Am I laughing, Emerson?” You retorted harshly. Staring him dead in the eyes. “Don’t you think it’s weird that three of Hawkins’ golden kids are dead? But they won’t say why or how?” You asked as you scowled lightly.

“Jason Carver was split clean down the middle. Christina Cunningham and Patrick McKinney were maimed. Bones ripped from sockets, and eyes pushed into their skulls. The same thing happened to Maxine Mayfield. But she’s alive, technically in a coma.” You explained before frowning. Working your hands under your shirt and pulling it off over your head. Dustin looking away as you hummed. A massive scar, leading from your sternum to your right hip. Deep lacerations that had healed over. Reminiscent of bite marks as you hummed.

“I told you I got in a car accident. That’s why I didn’t wear a swimsuit at the pool. You think a car accident bites?” You asked as Gareth looked away, Jeff frowned, and Grant inevitably threw up. He had the weakest stomach of the four.

“There’s…well, an alternate world beneath Hawkins. It’s called the upside down. There’s beasts that live under there, filled with nothing but carnal rage. They maim and feast upon humans who happen to cross their path. Everyone I’ve listed, have been victims…including Eddie. But Eddie is a special case. Like Byers and Mayfield.” You explained, looking to Dustin. Dustin was the one that had been there.

“There’s demogorgons, but they kind of look like fleshy, flowery beasts. demo dogs, demo bats. The bats are what got Eddie-“ tears formed in his eyes as he continued. “He died saving this stupid little town. He was trying to sell Chrissy ketamine, but she died at his house. He did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing.” He reasoned as he tried not to sob. Your eyes never leaving him as you frowned to yourself. You’d take over, this was too much to put him through.

“But, fucking hell he’s not dead. Not technically. He’s here right now. He’s weirdly in a limbo. He can interact with us, he can hear us and see us.” You insisted as you hummed. “His body is just…down there.” You gestured towards the large gate in the lake. “But he’s not dead. And we’re telling you guys because you deserve to know, and because we think you can help,” you reasoned.

The three of them were silently crying, staring you dead in the eyes as you tilted your head. “Are you gonna-“ your question was cut off by a slap from Gareth, his hands shoving you as he pushed your bare back into the woodland grounds. Holding you down by your shoulders as his hot tears hit your face.

“You’re such a fucking dick, you think this is funny? Do you think this is a cool joke?! You think I’m gonna be swayed by shitty weed and lies?!” He cried out.

Before you could answer, his body was thrown from yours, slamming onto the ground beside you as his eyes widened harshly. His head whipping to the side as if he’d been punched in the jaw. Body heaving as he tried to get up, weighed down by an invisible force. Weighed down by Eddie Munson.

Eddie had listened the whole time, silently watching. He hadn’t wanted to intervene until he had too. Considering the violence against you a reasonable time.

His fist wailed on Gareth, body weight keeping him down as his heaving breaths wracked his body.

Gareth’s head turned to look at you as you slowly pulled your shirt back on. “Do you believe me now?” You reasoned, Gareth slowly nodding.

“Okay okay! I believe you! Get off of me Eddie!” He insisted harshly, Jeff and Grant pulling him over as they stared you down.

“So what do you need from us?” Grant asked as you finished off your joint, exhaling slowly.

“We need your brains, and the numbers…and we’re gonna get Eddie back.”

Tags: @munson-blurbs

[dzpenumbra]

3/8/23

Last night was full of really intense bad dreams. 5 hours of sleep. Woke up to the smell of weed smoke coming from upstairs. Not the end of the world, just not really a run-of-the-mill start to a day.

I did yoga, meditated, made breakfast and called my mom. We had plans to figure out the rental car bill today. It got messy again.

It's an impossible situation. I had this same problem with my ex. What do you do when you can't tell someone that they made a mistake? When, if they realize that they made a mistake, a fuse blows in their head and they start lashing out at you? Even if the lashing out doesn't make sense. Even if it puts you in danger. I don't want to dwell on that too much, I just wanted to put it out there, because it's a personality trait that I have lost a lot of my life to. And I feel like it's worth shining a light on. I think it's a trauma thing, like... shame/guilt gets activated and it's such an overwhelmingly traumatic emotion for them that they lash out at me for "making them feel that emotion". Like I hurt them or something, and that permits them to "strike back". It's dark shit.

After a bit of that, the gravity of the situation sank in for her. She started to connect with where I'm at. How... if these people just decide to bill my card... it will put me in debt immediately. And I have no job, no resume, no references and no work history outside of self-employment for the past 7+ years (probably more at this point, I stopped doing math). Not a good position to be in, especially if your "financial support" will lose their temper, scream at you, hang up and then ghost you for days at a time. I really don't think the full gravity of the situation hit her, but enough did to find a healthy solution.

We came up with an agreed upon method, and we got the bill paid. It was about 1/3 of what I thought it was going to be. Which is... fucking crazy. I'm glad, but still. No idea how that played out so favorably. I wanted to get the whole "trade in my old car and cash out" part of this done too, one fell swoop, but... it wasn't in the cards today.

I spent a good chunk of the day sanding the last stone. It did a number on my arm. It's actually a little difficult to type, especially since I'm still doing that shit with my right hand where I just type with my pointer finger. It's fucking up my right arm, I really really need to make time to learn how to type properly if I'm going to be writing this much every night. So... I'm gonna be a bit short here tonight because of that.

I have a sign I made for myself, a reminder made of cardboard that I wanted to decorate more fully. It's been sitting around for a while and I decided to work on it tonight. It says "Be Here Now". I did the lettering in gold, outlined in black, and tonight I did more of that organic marbling design work in the background of it... this time in yellow void spaces, and the rest of it will be green with light green edges.

It's really nice to be working in ink again. I have spent so much time away from paints and inks lately. Last winter/spring was digital work, last summer was a lot of carving and sculpture, I think the hoodie was the last ink piece... so never mind, I guess... XD I guess I mean it's nice to branch into color again.

Yeah, not much else to say. I was going to stream but just didn't want to deal with this high school kid tonight. It's just tedious. It's like he doesn't want to be there or something, yet he comes to every stream and talks the whole time. And I guarantee I'm twice his age, like probably close to his dad's age. Idk. Like... if I were hanging out in a bar all night and had this teenager sitting next to me talking all night? That's how it feels a lot of the time. And... I just miss having friends in my demographic, man.

I've been entertaining the idea. Which is worse? Streaming with someone who doesn't seem to really be that interested or engaged in what your doing as your only active viewer... or banning them and having no active viewers? ... ... -_-

Good vibes to reset.

I did a tarot reading today, first in a long time. I was looking at the path forward and sorta... gauging where I'm at. I drew King of Pentacles inverted for the sorta Past/Cause position, Eight of Pentacles for the Present/Method position, and Strength for the Future/Effect position. How to read that? That's really up to me, I guess. Only I know what those mean to me. My first reaction is... the thing that's making it so I don't succeed? So my work is not fruitful, and impeding my ability to reach happiness... The way I've chosen to deal with that is through study and persistent, deliberate work; which, I feel, has been paying off. And continuing this path will likely lead to great inner strength, mastery of emotions through equilibrium, through inner balance. Which should complete the circle and upright the King of Pentacles. Basically working hard to get control of my fears and bringing them back into balance is the way forward. And how fitting, that equilibrium and balance would be the solution for a Libra. Big fuckin duh there. XD

Oh, and guess what. I was just reminded of this right now because I was just thinking "god, if someone reads this they're probably going to roll their eyes at the tarot and astrology shit". I had a moment when I was cooking dinner when I was thinking about like... what to do when someone does that in my chat. Or to my face. Or in my home. Or leaves comments on a video or some shit. Here's the answer. They can fuck right off. Yep. They can just... leave. And if they have trouble finding the door, I can gladly assist them in finding it.

I need to reconnect with that part of me. I just... to be frank... I don't know how to reconcile that sorta... disciplinary figure escorting people out, timing out, banning, blocking... all that. I don't know how to reconcile that with my pacifist nature, it always feels forceful and aggressive. With my "do no harm, don't act out of bad emotions" self. I've struggled with that for a long time. I'd love to find someone to talk to about that. Because I'm clearly not adept in being assertive without being... ... competitive? Dominating? I don't know, I'm referring back to past selves that used to have no problem handing shitty people by beating them at their own game. Like... like Mike Tyson beating the shit out of a high school jock. One of my go-to lines back then was "you picked the wrong person to fuck with, you're just a troll, you're fuckin with a demigod." I would... dismantle people who fucked with me. Very creatively. I came from a history of Jackass and Eric Andre and Tim and Eric, shit like that. I added in my intelligence and creativity to the levels of ways I would fuck with people. I would stage ghost events in my house and post videos on social media. I would make fake accounts with female sounding names on Twitch to find people on our team on League of Legends that were intentionally fucking up our games, butter them up a bit, then drop that I'm just the dude from last match and don't be shitty. I joined a Minecraft server with a Mumble voice chat and held a british accent for 2 fucking weeks straight, every day, for hours at a time... then one day just... started speaking in my normal voice, and no one knew who the fuck was speaking.

In some ways, I miss my prankster nature. I was so much more confident back then. But I also really didn't process or consider the consequences of my actions quite so much. I'm sure I could've actually hurt some people. I was entirely focused on the bit and treated others as props, almost. And I've evolved so much from that at this point that... I don't know if I can ever really go back. I mean, I've tried... I just...

I get this thing that happens... where I just... go into their eyes, their first-person perspective. My assumption of it, of course. And I just don't want to upset people. I want to improve situations that I enter into, bring happiness and warmth. Not laughter at their expense. Because not everyone can really laugh at their self. And that can be hurtful for some people.

Ugh, well, tell you what... I'm kinda on the fence about it now that I think about it. Because skateboarding came to mind. Yeah. And that's like... if you cater to what every person wants for peace and happiness? It doesn't just magically work out for everyone. Because my version of happiness is me skating in the park at 11PM, and the lady walking her dog who doesn't want the loud noises of the board to set her dog off and make her awesome dog start barking because she's startled... You know? We can't really both win there, something has to give.

Ugh, how did I get on this. Yeah, the whole... trying to please everyone thing. That. I really wish I could sit down and talk to people in a Buddhist community, I have so many goddamn questions. I should really seek one out. Like... how does a monk kick someone rowdy out of the temple? Does a very funny prank that ends up causing someone to be upset... count as causing suffering for them? When your intent is to bring joy and humor at a higher meta-level than their perspective and experience? Is that suffering your doing, or theirs?

I guess I have a bit to think about there. I just wanna be a good guy, a nice, considerate guy. But I wanna be fun and funny, too. And I think if I figure out how to bring that prankster spirit back in a tame form... it could completely reignite my confidence. You need so much confidence to be Eric Andre, and Tim and Eric. And when I had that spirit in my blood, I was a much more confident man. I think it might be worth finding a way to reconnect with that. That's a pretty good vibe to end on.

[nd-of-a-manatee]

Brambles pt. 3

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[ID:

The vines are aware enough to dodge the shot, narrowly dragging Raz out of the line of fire with them. The margin is so close, he can feel the heat as the fireball passes. Lili shakes the flames out of her hand with a look of terrified guilt. Meanwhile, vines begin swarming around her in a circle.

The scare loosened the killer weeds’ grip enough for Raz to desperately hold them away from him, uneasily balanced upside down in mid-air by the tension. He calls down to the ground.

“Lili, I don’t think this is working. We have to get to the root of the problem!”

“I can’t!” she calls back, afraid and exasperated. The vines continue to gather around her, enclosing her.

“I don’t mean the literal root!”

“I KNOW what you mean! I–I can’t do it! You just don’t understand!”

“Then help me understand. It can’t stay like this!”

The sky closes up. Lili is alone beneath a wall of green. The light is even dimmer here without the moon, casting her in dull green colors. Raz’s voice squeaks through the ceiling of compressed weeds to reach her.

“Lili!”

“Raz!” she calls in fear.

She doesn’t notice the knot of vines coming at her until it’s nearly on top of her. She dodges backward with a yelp, and it lands beside her with enough force to send a bunch of nettles into the hair. She runs away. More movement stirs in the darkness.

She tries to explain herself as she dodges wave after wave of vines.

“We’re not like your family. I have to pick a side. My mom’s never going to forgive my dad. If I’m not against him, she thinks I’m against her. Cause she’s just waiting for him to screw up again.”

Her anger resurfaces, and her power with it. Bolts of magenta dance around her head as she faces down another wall.

“He’s not like that anymore, but he won’t say it.” She holds her ground and sends out a TK hand. It slices through the vines like a butcher knife, burning with aggression. It casts hot, vivid light back on her, illuminating the darkness as long as she can keep it up. “He lets her treat him like garbage because it’s easier. So, I have to be the one to defend him. And I can’t stand it!” She starts slicing through wall after wall, the hand growing hotter. “I have to do everything!” It’s all gonna fall apart, and then I’m gonna feel like garbage.” Cauterized vines peel away in layers, still smoking. Lili stares into them with loathing as chunks of plant matter rain down.

In retaliation, the roof comes down on Lili’s shoulders, and she stumbles with a grunt. The incredible weight of it presses down on her. She struggles to keep her legs straight, let alone summon any of the power that was helping her just a minute ago. All she can do is talk.

“Because I always feel like garbage… ‘cause I can’t fix it.”

Raz’s voice slips between the layers of rope that threaten to crush her.

“It’s not your job to fix it, Lili.”

Tears drip from her tightly shut eyes and sink into the grass.

“I just want us to feel like a family for once,” she chokes. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just… shouldn’t be this hard.”

Suddenly, the vines disband. They fall all around her, limp, not even thickly enough to bury her.

Outside, Raz’s captors have also given in, and he’s in the middle of falling into the bushes. With a thrashing of leaves and a metallic “BONK”, he lands in a shrub among the willows. When he gets up, he has a dented watering can in hand (and a sore spot on his head). His clothes and skin are scratched up from the ordeal.

“I found the watering can.”

He looks at the receding mass of weeds where Lili stands at its center. All the plants and flowers have been wrenched from the ground and shoved in piles at the corners of the garden by the wall of weeds. She’s just as torn, beaten, and tired. Tears pour from her eyes as she tries to hold herself together.

Wordlessly, Raz approaches her and wraps her in a hug. She holds him in return and quickly lets herself fall into sobs.

After a while, they unfold a bit and share a quiet moment, still in each other’s arms. Up close, it turns out that Raz is a little shorter than Lili. He smiles patiently up at her as she wipes the tears from her eyes. Her expression is complicated, but appreciative.

Someone from off-screen clears their throat. The kids snap apart with their hands to themselves. Lili’s parents are standing nearby, quiet and humble. We finally see her mom in full detail. She has pale freckled skin, a spade-shaped face, burly arms and legs, and long pink hair with the same style as the flashback. She wears a blue horizontal-striped button-up sweater, rust-red pants, and black strap sandals over white socks. Truman’s wearing a pale green polo with vertical stripes, pale red pants (purple in this light), and old loafers. He hasn’t changed much since his appearance in the games, except that he’s grown a pencil mustache.

“Razputin, could we have some time alone with Lili?” Truman asks.

“Oh! Sure.”

Raz waves goodbye as he sprints off toward the willows.

<Talk later?> he asks Lili.

<Yeah.>

Quick as a cricket, Raz hops from branch to lev ball and sails over the stone stacks and out of sight.

End ID]

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[ninebluehearts]

Guilt & Shame

Summary: The boys help you with the guilt and shame that comes with peer pressure.

Warnings: Angst, peer pressure, weed, std mentions.

A/n: Hey beautiful, I'm writing this to bring awareness to peer pressure. I want everyone to know that they're not alone. And that while you might of asked for something, you are allowed to change your mind. You. Are. Allowed. To. Say. No. It doesn't matter if you hurt others feelings, you need to look out for yourself. I love you guys. Please enjoy 💕

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Steven had been hunched over his desk for going on five hours that night, spiraling further into his Egyptology obsession. Even though he finally had things figured out with Marc and Jake, his old habits of staying awake continued. He said that it 'grounded him,' but that never seemed to stop you from looking out for him and making him get some sleep.

Tonight was different though. You told him that you were going to help your sister work on repairing an old building so she and her husband could open their own restaurant. 'It's gonna be awhile before they open, but it's coming along nicely.' You had told him.

So when he saw your name pop up on his phone at 5:30 in the morning, he was quite confused. "Love? What are you doing awake?" Steven had asked you, trying to keep his concern at bay. He could feel both Marc and Jake wake up in his mind, listening in to the conversation.

"Steven.. I-I'm gonna need you to come and get me? I think? You know where to go, right?" Your speech was slightly slurred, similar to your drunk voice, but not quite. You sounded tired more than anything. But the thing that worried them was that you were talking very quietly, almost like a whisper.

"Of course, dear. What's going on?" He had asked, already slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys from the bowl. He knew that Marc or Jake would take over as soon as you hung up, so he figured he might as well have everything ready when either of them did.

"I just- I wanted to do a stupid thing and.. Yeah, stupid shit. I just wanna go home.." You managed to mumble, a small sniffle following.

The absolute rage Steven felt when he could hear the discomfort in your tone was astounding. Chills crept up his back as all of his muscles locked up, his vision turning red. "Don't you worry darling, I'm on my way. Do you need me to stay on the phone or can I hang up?" It was amazing that he could feign such a calm tone.

Especially while mentally fighting Marc and Jake from taking over. He could feel their own rage and panic, and it wasn't making things easier for him.

"I'm gonna hang up and grab my stuff.. I'll see you soon, right?" You knew how over protective your boyfriend(s) could get, so hearing the painfully fake calmness in Steven's voice made you want to jump in the car and go as soon as he got there. "I love you."

But before he could answer, you hung up the phone. And just like he knew he would, he finally allowed Marc to take over. While Steven was already going ten miles over the speed limit, Marc went 30. He knew that he could go to Jail for reckless driving at this point, but he just had to get to you.

..............................................................................................

When Marc pulled up to the building, he was already reaching to unbuckle his seat belt, not wasting any time. But right as he pulled open his door, you pulled open yours.

"Hey honey." You mumbled as you plopped into the passengers seat.

"What hap-" Then the smell hit him. "You smoked weed?" He was absolutely shocked. You were always one to refuse any kind of smoke, from cigarettes to weed and anything in between.

"Don't." Was all you managed to say. You still sounded upset, and the drowsiness in your voice had somehow worsened in the last ten minutes.

Without protest, Marc closed his door and rebuckled his seat belt, leaving the parking lot while going the actual speed limit. They all drove safer with you in the car. "I'm not upset about you smoking a little bit of weed, baby. I just wanna know why you're upset." He said as he gently placed his hand over yours, which was resting on your thigh.

You asked him to pull over even though you were already halfway home at this point. That's when you told him about your brother in laws brother and his girlfriend.

-

You had wanted to smoke weed for awhile now, sick of being apart of the few who hadn't done it yet. So when they offered you some, you couldn't refuse. You even wanted to do it. After you burned the back of your throat, you didn't want to do it again, you had explained. But that's when it wasn't fun anymore. Because that's when the peer pressure had begun.

You always prided yourself on being able to avoid situations like these; on knowing better and being better. But when they insisted on you getting completely ruined because 'after the first time, nothing's the same' you didn't know how to refuse anymore.

You had become the most interesting thing that night and all they wanted to do was mess around with your head. They would say things like, 'you're so fucked up right now!' Or 'if you're not feeling it then you need to take another hit! Don't be a baby.' And you honestly didn't feel any different; just tired. You didn't know why they wanted to manipulate your mind so much; to frustrate you.

Then you told Marc how your brother in laws brother wanted you to take a hit from his girlfriends bowl. Now you knew that she has a body count of 150+ and you didn't know how to just say No politely. All you could say was 'Uh, do you have herpes or something?' You asked, only half joking.

And when they both got offended, you put your mouth around the tube and took a deep breath. God, you really didn't want to. You wiped it off with your sleeve first, but you didn't know if that would be enough.

After that you called Steven to come and get you. That's what you were panicking about.

-

You didn't realize you were crying until you felt Marc's tense hand move up and gently wipe a tear from your cheek. "It was my fault, really. I asked for it."

"Don't." And you watched his whole demeanor change. He was tense all over, even his face seemed to be stuck in a fixed frown. You held your breath, knowing that Jake was the extremist out of the three. "You may have asked to smoke, but you didn't ask to be their plaything. And you certainly didn't ask to be put at risk for an STD."

And with that he put the car back in drive and got back on the road. "We're going home and you're going to take a shower and get some sleep. We will deal with this in the morning."

You curled up in your seat, watching as the sun started to slowly rise behind a large cornfield. Tears gently slipped across your cheeks as the guilt and shame of the situation started to eat away at your mind.

..............................................................................................

The next morning you and Steven had a long talk over multiple cups of coffee, or tea, in his case. He hugged and kissed you, assuring you that everything was going to be okay. He helped you set up an appointment to get checked for STDs, knowing that it was your main concern. And while you knew this would all leave a sick feeling every time you thought about it, Steven, Jake, and Marc somehow made it easier.

...

I know that not everyone can have their comfort characters save them from these situations, but we all deal with situations as best as we can ❤

[hellishchrissy]

Supercut

Glimpses and moments from Fez and Lexi's relationship, in no specific order, inspired by the song "Supercut" by Lorde.

huge thank you for @werejustlefttodecay for reading this one over and giving me inspo for it!

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In your car, the radio up

Fezco's body vibrated with repressed laughter as his body pressed against Lexi's in the cramped backseat of his car, the windows quickly fogging up around them. His hand travelled from Lexi's side to her waist, pulling her on to him on the worn out leather seat. Their lips crashed without hesitation a mere few seconds later, Fezco's hand drawing inconsistent patterns on Lexi's skin under her shirt. The frame of the car was almost shaking due to to the booming music coming from the party they had just sneaked out of, their whispered voices getting lost into the music and the loud voices of the partygoers having a smoke right outside the car.

"Someone's gonna see us," Lexi laughed against Fez's lips as he pulled her closer, his right hand slowly making its way up her skirt while the left one gripped her lower back, supporting her as she sat on his lap. "To be honest, Ion really give a fuck," Fezco whispered, his voice rough. He started pressing burning kisses down the girl's throat, corrupting her with his touch; the two of them completely isolated from the world going on outside.

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We keep trying to talk about us

You know those sticker stars that glow in the dark, the ones you used to stick into your ceiling as a kid? Fez's bedroom ceiling had 15 of them, 16 if you counted the one Asthray had ripped in half as a toddler before Fezco had had the chance to stick it up there. He remembered being pissed off at the baby he now considered a brother for ripping it, he remembered yelling at him. Fez remembered it all.  He started counting the worn-down stars again, humming the numbers under his breath. Hoping that sleep would follow, as it had been avoiding him for four hours now. His phone screen informed him that it was 3:32am, and yet his body was awake, refusing to let his mind sleep. After a few minutes and some more counting,  Fez let out a heavy sigh, turning his attention to the right; Lexi was curled up next to him, wearing only a shirt she had stolen from his closet. She looked peaceful in her sleep, curled up on the mattress, tangled around the blanket like she always was. She looked just like she always had, like home and peace and everything Fez knew he didn't really deserve. The sight of Lexi made Fez feel warmth, but guilt followed shortly after as he looked on, not daring to even touch the girl in fear of waking her. So instead he got up from the bed, careful not to stir the bed with his movements as he did. The floor was cool under his feet as he walked to the door, quietly slipping into the dark hallway that lead to the living room. Ashtray was asleep as well, judging from his locked bedroom door and the completely deserted-looking house. Fez slumped down on the couch, sinking into it with a sigh. There were some rolled joints on the table in front of him, probably something Ashtray had forgotten; Fez reminded himself to thank his brother later as he grabbed one, lighting up without much hesitation. He leaned back on the couch as he inhaled the smoke, the smell oddly comforting - it was something Fez had grown up around, something that funnily enough smelled like home. He exhaled slowly, enjoying the subtle burn in his throat. It was disappointing to notice how little effect weed had on Fez's anxiety anymore. He inhaled, he exhaled. He inhaled, he exhaled. Hoping to loosen the knot in his chest that just kept tightening every fucking day. Everytime he saw Lexi, everytime he kissed her, everytime he told her loved her and how much he needed her. He knew it was wrong to want her there, close to him, he knew it was so fucking selfish to hold on to her. He knew how much better he deserved, he knew how badly it all could end for them. For her.  And yet he couldn't stop looking at her, he couldn't stop touching her, couldn't stop himself from asking her to stay. Even though he knew that he was holding her back. Fez rubbed his face, coughing as he inhaled one last time before dumping the joint, silently cursing under his breath. His limbs felt numb as he sat for a few more minutes, the same guilty thoughts staining his brain over and over again. You ain't good for her. She deserves better. You puttin' her in so much fuckin' danger. The same thoughts, over and over again, just slightly more hazy and less defined than before smoking. Fez got up and shook his head like he was hoping his own anxieties would fall out. He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked back to his bedroom door, hesitating for a moment with his hand hovering over the handle. Lexi stirred restlessly in her sleep when Fez opened the door, the noise disturbing her sleep. For a moment he thought he had gotten away with it, before the girl's voice echoed from somewhere between the pillows: "What are you doing? Is everything alright?" Fez froze in his place for a second, his gaze moving to where he had heard Lexi's voice coming from. The girl was moving, pulling herself to a more upright position on the mattress; her hair was like bird's nest forming around her head, her eyes barely open as she tried to focus her attention on Fezco's figure in the dark. And Fez knew that now would be as good a time as any  to finally be honest, to tell the girl about his guilt, about how much he loved her but how terrified he was for her, about how he was a horrible person for wanting to hold on to her. How he wanted better for her, even though at the same time he didn't. Lexi's hand extended towards him in the dark, inviting Fez to come back to bed. For a second he hesitated, feeling the words building up in his throat, burning his tongue. But then, like he had no control over his own body, Fez felt his feet moving, saw his hand grabbing Lexi's in the dark, letting her pull him to her. Lexi buried herself into his chest. "It can wait," Fez murmured into Lexi's hair, knowing that he was betraying them both.

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I'm someone you maybe might love

Fezco turned off the engine of his car, embracing the silence that fell between him and Lexi. There was always a moment like this with them, the last moment before they parted - tense silence that made Lexi's skin tingle and her poor hear jump to her throat with each withering beat. Some seconds passed, and the girl could feel Fezco's gaze on her, burning her skin with its intensity as he waited for her. "You mind if I walk you to the door?" Fezco's voice pierced the silence between them, his words hanging heavy between them like a physical being. Lexi could feel her palms sweating, her racing pulse humming in her ears as she tried to find her own voice to answer. "Y-yeah, sure." The words were shaky and barely audible, but they were there. And that was enough for Lexi, who suddenly was afraid her legs wouldn't be able to carry her weight all the way to the door. Why was it always like this? Why could she never act like a proper fucking adult and take control and stop acting like a scared kid? Fezco opened his door, stepping out in to the warm night, such certainty in his movements. Lexi found herself trying to imitate his effortless confidence, her hands shaking like leaves as she slammed the car door shut behind her. The pavement under her feet seemed unsteady, like she could fall through it any second. Fez stuffed his hands into his pockets as they started the five meter walk up the driveway, silently dragging their feet like they were trying to find any possible way to make the night last slightly longer. The silence between seemed to become more and more pressing with each step, and by the time they actually reached the door, Lexi's lungs felt like they were full of some physical matter that refused to let her breathe. "Thanks for the ride again," the girl uttered breathlessly, her hands shaking in her jacket pockets when she looked up at Fezco. "Don't worry 'bout it, Lexi Howard," he answered with a grin, his eyes almost curious as his gaze wandered around her face. Heat spread across Lexi's cheeks when she heard her own name on Fez's lips, his raspy voice wrapping around it in a way that she had come to love. And she wanted to tell him just that, let him know how his voice made her heart beat faster, how her name on his tongue made her feel warm, how she could hear her own heartbeat in hear ears even when they were just standing there, looking at each other. She wanted to say everything and anything, and yet nothing came out. And when Fezco took a step closer, it was like every cell in her body was electrified by his heat that she could now almost feel radiating, the distance between them less than a few inches. "This the part where people prolly say goodnight, right?" Fez asked, pulling his hands out of his pockets, his right hand hovering in the air for a few, idle second. His eyes were locked on Lexi's own as he slowly touched her, his hand making its way up her neck and to her cheek, resting there. His skin was cool against hers. Lexi nodded, shaking. Fire was spreading from Fezco's touch, igniting a trail of fire on her skin, and for some reason it felt impossible to meet the boy's eyes. She turned her gaze towards the ground, forcing a nervous breath down her lungs. "Yeah, I think so." Fezco was fighting a smile when he leaned forward slowly, like he was afraid of scaring Lexi off - as if that could ever happen. Seconds passed, and Lexi could feel electricity on her skin as she felt Fez press against her, his lips touching hers first carefully, slowly, gradually deepening and pulling her in like he had done so many times before. Against the register at his store, at night in the front seat of his car, behind locked doors at parties. It was their little routine that kept going in circles, ever changing yet always the same. And Lexi loved it. And each day she was closer to loving him.

"Good night, Lexi Howard."

______________________________________________________________

I'll be your quiet afternoon crush

fez u still at school? Lexi yeah, I get out in an hour fez imma pick u up Lexi oh ok why? fez i rly wanna see u been too long fr Lexi ok, sure cant wait see u Fez see u lexi howard Lexi couldn't hide her smile as she reread the message lighting up her phone screen, the words echoing in her head as she stared at the text chat. She found herself scrolling through their brief exchange again, sinking into dumb daydreams of seeing the boy that she had been thinking - nearly non stop - for weeks. Fez had been busy for a while now with what he had called "serious business forreal", and Lexi hadn't been bold enough to pry into his actions to actually find out what he had meant by that. So instead she had agreed to hang out later, hoping that later would come soon. Days had been passing by, and Lexi had found herself glued to her phone like an anxious kid, desperately hoping that her phone would buzz and bring Fez back from his radio silence. Lexi's trig teacher's voice faded quietly into a soft hum that she paid no mind to as she stared out of the windows, the afternoon sun painting the concrete yard of their school in colors that Lexi found herself appreciating, the warm giddy feeling in her chest suddenly making everything a little better. And by the time the bell rang, Lexi felt nearly jittery in her excitement, her hands shaking like leaves in the wind as she packed away her books. She threw her backpack over one shoulder, steadying herself for a brief moment before exiting the classroom. The hallways were annoyingly crowded, slowing Lexi down as she made her way towards the main doors, muttering sincere apologies as she bumped into people rushing the other way.  

The air outside was warm, bringing hope for the approaching summer. The afternoon sun cast its long shadows on the concrete parking lot, where a familiar car was pulled up. The engine was going, music wafting through the open windows, and suddenly Lexi felt nervous. It had been weeks since she had last seen Fez, and it felt like they were right where they had left off months ago - on that damn couch, nervous, exchanging small talk that made Lexi nervous enough to puke. Fuck, she though to herself. Get a fucking grip. Dont be like this. Granted, her internal peptalk was ruthless - but it gave Lexi what she needed to put one foot in front of the other until she reached the car. She peeked in through the open passenger window, a smile climbing on her face when she saw Fez. "Hey!" "Lexi Howard," Fezco said, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He nodded towards the door handle. "Come on." Lexi opened the door with unsteady hands, throwing herself onto the passenger seat with a huff. She pulled the door shut behind herself and tossed her backpack on to the worn out backseat before turning to Fez, who was already looking at her. For a brief moment they stalled, unsure of what to do next as they looked at each other. And then, slowly, Fezco leaned in closer. Lexi wasn't sure what it was about Fezco that drew her to him time after time after time. There was something in the way he laughed, the way he looked away when he smiled, the way he looked at her. And after a while, it had also been about the way he touched her, the way he kissed her. The way he pulled her to him in secret, the way he sneaked out with her during parties.  Lexi loved the way he made her feel, and she loved the way his hand was now touching her jaw, her cheek, holding her, pulling her closer until their lips touched. For a brief moment Lexi wished they weren't in public and that there wasn't a gearbox between them and that it wasn't broad daylight. She wished they were somewhere else, alone, isolated.

The two of them pulled a part when a few people walked past, trying to seem people as the students gazed curiously through the windows. Fezco answered their gaze with his own, switching the gear as he pressed to gas pedal, driving across the parking lot and onto the road that lead away from the school. They drove in silence for a moment, until Fez's right hand let go of the stick shift and made its way to Lexi's side, looking for her touch. His fingers intertwined with Lexi's own, and Fez pulled their intertwined hands to him, pressing a kiss on the back of Lexi's hand.

He gave Lexi an almost shy smile, shaking his head. "Listen, I'on wanna sound corny or nothin', but I missed you, Lexi Howard. I really fuckin' did."

______________________________________________________________

Be your violent overnight rush

fez

u look so fuckin hot

ur killin me

Lexi

you rly think so?

fez

i aint playin lexi howard

u look way too fuckin good fr

Lexi could feel heat spreading on her cheeks as she read the last text message, the burn on her skin staining her face red as she played the message in her head. Music was blaring around her and her friends, but Lexi felt like she was hearing it from underwater - it was distant, unclear. Her blood was rushing in her ears, creating a white noise that made her deaf to the conversations of her friends around her, completely isolating her from them for a passing second. Her brown eyes looked up from the phone she was clutching, looking around the backyard where people were partying around a massive pool. The water was spilling over as people packed into the pool, couples making out nearly under the surface, liquor staining the turquoise water. The crowd seemed completely faceless to Lexi when her eyes met Fezco's, who was sitting on one of the sunloungers by the pool, a joint dangling from his fingers. There was an intense look in his eyes as he stared at the girl, completely ignoring Rue and Jules next to him, like there was no one in his world but Lexi. And then, he moved slightly, nodding his head toward the glass doors that led into the house. There was an invitation in his eyes.

"Guys, I need to go to the bathroom," Lexi blurted out to her friends without a second thought, shoving her drink in her sister's unassuming hands.

..

Fezco's breath was heavy on Lexi's skin when the door of some stranger's bedroom slammed shut behind them, isolating them from the rest of the world going on outside. Fez's back pressed against the door when Lexi's body pressed against his, their lips crashing in a hasty movement that almost made them both stumble in their steps. Fezco's lips tasted like weed and some tangy, sharp liquor that Lexi usually didn't like - but now, on him, it tasted good as it spread on her lips. Shivers ran down the girl's spine when Fezco's fingers started unbuttoning her buttons, stumbling a few time in his own eagerness. His lips moved down from her lips, drawing burning patterns down her jaw, on her neck, on her collarbones all the while his fingers continued their work, finishing the last button with a frustrated grunt. Lexi let her shirt fall to the floor, kicking it away from their feet with little care to where it would land. Fezco's hand made its way to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as he started leading her away from the door and towards the bed.

Moments like these where the ones that Lexi kept seeing on repeat in her dreams, during outings with friends, while she was having dinner with her family. Flashes of Fezco's skin on hers, his rough hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer to him, making her gasp in his mouth. His golden chain dangling above her, his lips pressing electrifying kisses down her chest, down her stomach. Moments like these kept Lexi awake at night, haunting her. And she always wanted more.

______________________________________________________________

But it's just a supercut of us

[demigodreading]

Saving Mini Benson Pt:1

Request: From @youngjusticeimaginesus​:  Hi, I was wondering If maybe you'd be willing to do a oneshot where Olivia's daughter gets kidnapped by Lewis instead of Olivia?

Summary: That’s right my favorite peoples... This is going to be a two part mini series because there was no way everything that I needed to say could be done in a one-shot! I won’t go into much because I don’t want to give it away but please note THIS PART IS A DOOZY! The next one may be worse but still this arc made me cry in the show and I cried writing this

Characters: Olivia Benson, Fin Tutuola, Amanda Rollins, Nick Amaro, William Lewis, Donald Cragen, Reader

Relationships: Olivia Benson x Daughter! Reader

Warnings: MAJOR Violence, Guns, Cigarette Burns, Episode Spoilers, Alcohol, Smoking Weed, Mentions of Shootings, Death, William Lewis, Mentions of torture... (I Think that covers it but if it doesn’t please let me know)

Word Count: 2320 (Like I said.. there was no way this was gonna be just a oneshot.)

And with that all being said: Let’s jump into it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia and her daughter rarely fought but when they did neither one wanted to admit the other one was right. Olivia loved and hated her daughter for being so similar to her. Even now as she watched the miniature version of herself stalk the interview room the exact same way she would send her heart racing. Usually the similarities would result in a smile but not today. Today Olivia’s vision was a deep red as she confronted her daughter.

“Y/N you were caught smoking weed underneath the bleachers during class! So not only did you break one rule you broke two!” Olivia shouted, folding her arms.

“Wow glad that you know how to count,” Y/N mumbled looking out the window.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Look mom I just don’t get what the big deal is? It was one joint. One class!” Y/N retorted, throwing her hands up, “I am a straight A student who has a full ride scholarship to Harvard.”

“Yes, because Barba stuck his neck out on the line for you and put in a glowing recommendation,” Olivia spat, “What you did was careless. You could have ruined everything that was given to you.”

“You know for once in your life could you ever be fucking proud of me! I do everything that I can do to make you proud and yet at the end of the day I am never fucking good enough for you.”

“That’s not…” Olivia went to argue but was interrupted by Cragen opening the door.

“Olivia we got a problem. I need you right now,” He said, then shut the door without waiting for an answer.

“Just go save another poor unfortunate soul mom. Don’t worry about your daughter.  I’ll pick up my own pieces like I always do,” Y/N said, wiping tears from her face as she grabbed her coat.

Y/N stormed from the room before Olivia could stop her. She made her way through the precinct eyes trained to the floor as her mother’s voice rang out, “You better head straight home Y/N!  We are not done having this conversation and you are grounded!”

Choosing not to say anything, Y/N merely raised her hand in the air flipping her mother off before the doors shut with a loud slam behind her. Tears made dark spots on the concrete as Y/N made her way back to their apartment. Even the noises of the constant car honks and people screaming couldn’t drown out the voices in her head today. Failure. Waste of space. Stupid. No one. Unwanted. Unloved. 

It was the repeated song that kept her feet moving forward until she finally placed her key in the lock. She threw her bag by the kitchen island and threw her keys on the counter. She was about to turn on the living room light when a noise caught her attention. 

“Hello? Hello?”

As she turned the corner her vision was filled with the sight of a gun pointed right at her temple. A smirk crossed William Lewis’ face as he looked at Y/N, “Ah welcome home Little Benson. I was hoping that it would be your mother who was walking through the door but I guess you will have to do.”

Y/N went to scream but instead Lewis jammed the gun against her throat, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. One small slip of my finger and your mom will be left with a new kind of art all over her walls.”

Y/N let a single tear roll down her face before Lewis’ gun made contact with her skull and the whole world went black.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Olivia had already tried to call Y/N twice but it kept going straight to voicemail. The last known location had been their apartment so at least she had the sense to head straight home. The guilt in Olivia’s stomach was insurmountable. Watching her daughter explain that she never felt like she lived up to her standards. Olivia had promised herself when she had Y/N she would never end up like her mother. Yet there she was shaming her child for one mistake. Y/N was more than just a good kid, she was excellent. She was smart, beautiful, humorous, kind, and so much more. She was everything Olivia could have ever hoped for. Knowing that her daughter thought she wasn’t proud was the worst pain she could have.

After the third call Olivia finally decided to leave a voicemail, “Y/N I know you are mad but I need you to know something. I am proud of you and will always be proud of you. You are the best daughter and the most amazing human. I was rough on you early. Please let’s talk through this. I’ll be home soon with your favorite Chinese. Just don’t do anything stupid? I love you.”

When she hung up the phone she placed her head in her hands and let out a large sigh. Fin placed a reassuring hand on her back, “Liv, it is going to be okay. She is just being a teenager.”

“No Fin, you should have seen her. It was like I was physically taking her heart out and ripping it in front of her. I should have never said those things. I didn’t mean any of them… I was just upset.”

“She knows, they always know.”

Olivia merely shook her head and began to gather her things to head home. She walked out of the precinct without a goodbye and headed down the street to Y/N’s favorite Chinese place. They knew what she was going to order as soon as she walked in the door asking where Y/N was. Liv pushed off their question and scrolled through her phone as she waited for the food. Y/N’s phone was still off giving Olivia an eerie feeling as she finished the walk to the apartment. 

Once inside she noticed Y/N’s bag on the floor and her keys on the counter. There was a sudden rush of cold air that made her notice the window that was open to the fire escape. She shut it quickly and then moved to Y/N’s room. The door was still open with everything the way she had left it that morning. Once her calls were unanswered Olivia opened the window again crawling onto the fire escape. Sometimes Y/N would go to the roof to watch the sun slowly crawl behind the buildings.When she reached the top however she was met with an unsettling emptiness. 

Olivia reached for her phone to call the only person who was able to calm her anxiety lately, “Amaro, Y/N isn’t here. I can’t find her. What if something happened to her?”

“She probably just went to a friend’s house to get away,” Amaro replied stirring the contents of his drink, “She will be back in the morning just to relax. Sleep off the anger and come back with a clear head tomorrow.”

Liv pondered this suggestion over and over deciding what she should do. When the silence became too long Amaro interjected again, “Liv, I’m serious. You two had the biggest blow out that I have seen in awhile. Give her time to be mad at you and think. If you smother her she might only push further away from you.” She thanked her partner for the advice and then shoved her phone back in her pocket taking a sweep of the roof once again. Finally she slowly made her way back to the apartment shutting the window with a slam before locking it. Olivia wandered over to the kitchen moving the cereal that covered the top of the fridge to get to her secret cupboard. From the opening she pulled a large bottle of her favorite red wine. She popped the cork and decided to forgo a cup taking a long swig directly from the green glass. A large sigh escaped her lips as she plopped down on the couch going over the events of the day in her head.

As the contents of the bottle slowly drained till there was nothing else Olivia realized her fears were all coming true. She was becoming her mother. A woman she never once wanted to be. Three empty bottles later she finally curled under Y/N’s sheets crying into her pillow until she finally was able to fall asleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning when Y/N did not return and her phone was still shut down all bets were off. Olivia was furious but more importantly she was terrified. Something was horribly wrong. Her morning was spent talking to Y/N’s two best friends and searching their houses for her. When that search was unsuccessful Olivia went to the school hoping Y/N had gone there. However, she had been absent all day and there hadn’t even been a call to excuse her from the day. 

When the morning bled into the afternoon Olivia was running around the city to all of Y/N’s usual hangout spots. The search of the library told her that Y/N hadn’t been there in over a week. The local bakery hadn’t seen her in three days. The coffee shop where Y/N always bought Olivia’s coffee when she came to see her at work had seen her two mornings ago but nothing since then. Even the old lady that had Y/N over twice a week to help her with errands and chores around the house hadn’t seen her. 

It was dark by the time that Olivia fell into her desk chair at the precinct. With her head in her hands she let the tears fall. A whole day was gone and there was still no sign of her daughter. If she had been kidnapped they were running out of time and losing it quickly. The longer she was out there the longer the person had to get away with whatever they wanted.

The squad huddled around in Cragen’s office looking at Olivia curled over her desk. Rollins was the first one to speak, “I bet you Lewis has something to do with this.”

“And what makes you think that?” Amaro asked, “There are plenty of people who could have a vendetta against Liv.”

“It’s just a feeling.”

“Yeah well have you ever considered the idea that maybe Y/N just ran away,” Amaro retorted.

Fin, Cragen, and Amanda all turned towards Amaro, shocked. Cragen was the first one to speak, “I know you haven’t been here long Amaro but this isn’t Y/N. Something is horribly wrong and we are going to figure out what is going on. Fin and Amanda go check out Lewis’ usual hiding spots. I’ll take Liv through her apartment once again to see if we missed anything.”

“And me cap?”

“Amaro… you stay here and set up a tip line,” Cragen responded curtly and then they all disappeared to find where Y/N had disappeared to.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N woke with a jolt as she felt cold water splash her face. She was met with Lewis staring only a couple inches away from her face. He grinned and grabbed Y/N’s chin as she tried to look away, “Well well there. Looks like someone is finally awake. Feeling thirsty?”

Y/N nodded her head yes waiting to scream as he curled his fingers around the edge of the duct tape. As he was about to pull it away he jammed a gun against Y/N’s throat, “Make any noise and I will shove this gun straight down your throat.”

Finally when he pulled the tape away Y/N spit right in his face, “Just shoot me already if you are going to threaten me with it.”

“And miss out on all of our fun Mini Benson. I think not. There is plenty that I want to do to you before then.”

Y/N began to panic as Lewis lit another cigarette. She remembered the way the others had burned against her chest and sides. She had lost count after twenty perfect circle burns and after the second pistol whip to the face she had passed out a second time, She couldn’t go through all of that again.

“My mom knows I am missing and she will be out looking for me. Just let me go and she will never have to know that you did it. Please,” YN begged.

“What is she going to think about that bruise on your face? Or the marks on your skin? I can’t let you go… plus I know that you both fought before you came home. I bet you that she thinks you just ran away and are leaving her,” Lewis chuckled.

“How.. how did you know that we fought?

“This lovely voicemail your mother left you,” Lewis said, placing your phone against your ear.

Tears began to run down Y/N’s face as she heard the apology her mother had sent her. Damnit! Why did I have to fight with her? We could have avoided all of this. Is the mantra that ran through her head as Lewis slammed the phone against her head and threw it at the wall.

“She isn’t coming for you,” Lewis snickered.

“Please… just let me go. I will do anything.”

Lewis pulled his gun and placed it against Y/N’s scalp, “You are still bargaining with me? Really. We are way past that baby.”

“I am the daughter of an NYPD detective. A decorated well known detective. My mother, her partner, her squad, the entire department will hunt you down. You think that you’ve put people through hell. It will rain back down on you.”

“You know what… let it rain,” Lewis said and then hit Y/N once again making her world go black for a third time. 

[forestgreenfairy]

A Teenage Kind of Love (salvis)

Episode 6 

(travis) 

The next day at school is a living nightmare, everyone asking me if I'm okay and saying their sorry for my loss, constantly reminding me, I just want it all to stop. I need a drink. After attendance in 3rd period I excused myself to the restroom and grabbed my bag from my locker heading off to the bathroom. I snagged a beer from the cabinet yesterday when my dad was asleep. I find my normal spot in the big stall and sit down when I hear the door open.

“Travis” says sally face gentle voice, god i really need to talk to him i think as i open the beer can and take a sip 

“Yes” i shoot back in almost a whisper 

“I was hoping you were in here, wanna talk?” he says sitting down on the other side of the stall door.

“Kind of” i say, i don't really know what i want to talk about but i know I just want to listen to him. My mind flashes to last week. When I put my hand on top of his and how nice it was. Fuck. 

“You don't have to if you don't want to, are you okay i know after your mom's thing” he says in a sad tone of voice

“Yeah I'm fine,” I pause , taking a deep breath. 

“Did you hear about what I did '' I cringe , saying that I haven't prayed actually in months, then out of nowhere I felt compelled like it was the right thing to do in the moment even though no one else was. I take another sip.

“Yeah… are you still religious i thought you were giving that up y'know since your dad” i never really thought about that, of course i believed in god and i dont think im ready to say goodbye to my faith at least not yet, but i definitely don't believe in the god my father does if he even believes in god. 

“I am just not the way my father is,” I say with immediate guilt washed over me, “one does not talk bad of one's father” my dad would say to me when I was little. 

“But i shouldn't be talking about him” i say taking another swig from the can. I carefully place the can underneath the stall door and he sighs pushing it back to me.

“I don't drink,” he says, sounding frustrated. 

“Why not” I ask, drinking has done nothing other than bring me comfort and help me forget and feel better. 

“I don't really wanna talk about it,” replied. I know his friend Travis smokes.

“Do you smoke?” I have a question.

“Sometimes” fuck, I made him uncomfortable. I grab my bag and booze and unlock the door. 

“I gotta go,”  I say , staring down at him. He nods and I leave. 

(sal) 

I knew it, he's been drinking. I feel so helpless like after the accident when my dad started drinking, how it was my fault. I know Travis drinking isn't my fault but I can't help but feel terrible, I mean do I need to tell someone? But on the other hand I don't want to seem like I'm intruding on his life by sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Why was he asking about smoking? Does he want to smoke? I can't even think right. 

After school I meet Larry at the car and he's already inside blasting his new sanity falls CD. 

“Can you wait till we atleast get on the road for this?” I scream over the music and turn it down. 

“Its sick right? Now I can play music as loud as I want ALL the time, not just when my mom isn't home” we both laugh. That's one of the first things he said to me when we met and I asked him about living in the basement. 

“Can I ask you a question?” he nods, giving me his full attention. 

“Do you think you could get me some weed?” I say leaning back in the passenger seat.

“How much? And why” he questions.

“Ummm i don't know enough for two people ill pay don't worry. Because Travis was asking, ``I was gonna maybe invite him over to hang out,” I say and Larry raises an eyebrow.

“And you don't have a crush on him but you are willing to give him free weed?” I slapped his arm, I would have slapped him harder if he wasn't driving. 

“I don't… maybe” I say, running my hands through my hair and sliding down in my seat. 

“Duuuuuuuude your seriously fucked” he laughs.

“No I'm not.. He actually kinda sweet, its really his dad that fills his mind with all those things and thoughts” i say, and of course i dont even know if hes gay, i dont even know if im gay. Shit… i am fucked.

“Whatever you say” Larry rolls his eyes as he pulls into the parking lot.

“And yeah I can get you some weed. I'll bring it to your house tonight when I go get groceries.” he says getting out of the car.

(travis)

When my fathers car pulls up it's not him driving from Alysa i get in the back seat silently.

“Travis, I just want to talk to you about our new relationship, as I'm going to be your step-mother,” she says nervously, squeezing the wheel. 

“You are nothing like a mother to me Allysa your 22, 4 years ago MY mother was picking you up from highschool” she sighs. 

“And now i'm picking up MY son from highschool” she smiles in the rearview mirror. HER son? I will never be HER son I'm barely my fathers son. 

“ALYSSA you are not old enough to be picking up your son from kindergarten” i reply angrily and she again lets out another sigh. 

“Your father would not appreciate this, you have to understand we are getting married and that is the final young man!” she says sternly pulling into our gravel driveway. I can't help but laugh, young man? She's barely 5 years older than me. 

“Allysa you're barely 5 years older than me” I shout from the car as she stomps up the stairs inside slamming the door. When I reach the door it's locked. I jiggle the handle when I hear Alyssa from inside. 

“Go somewhere else travis! This is MY house and I can deny access to anyone I want, I AM AN ADULT” she yells. I cant fucking believe this, this girl just kicked me out of MY house. Where am I supposed to go? I mean I don't have any real friends… Do I just sit here? 

I guess I could.. Go to Sally's face.

I run around the side of the house and grab my bike from the shed.

[darknoonbitch]

Steddie 2

The next Friday Steve cooked up a casserole and headed to Eddie's house. His parents were never home, so he didn't bother to tell anyone where he was going.

Walking up to the door of Eddie's house, Steve could hear laughing inside from a few different people. Wasn't it just supposed to be Eddie and Wayne? This was the day Eddie told him to come over. Steve swallowed and knocked. The door opened and a wall of smoke hit Steve in the face.

"Oh shit, hey, Harrington." Eddie greeted him with a smile. Steve chuckled nervously as Eddie motioned him inside. He walked in and through the haze of weed and tobacco he could make out Nancy and Robin sitting on the couch next to each other.

"Steve brought munchies!" Eddie exclaimed behind Steve, thrusting his fists in the air.

"Oh my God, please tell me it's your lasagna." Nancy spoke in a drawn out voice, leaning over the open seat of the couch to look at Steve better.

"Yes, please God let it be lasagna." Robin poked her head out from behind the other woman.

"No fair, everyone else has tried this but me?!" Eddie feigned anger with a grin on his face. Steve turned around so they wouldn't see how flustered he got when they complimented him, and walked to the kitchen. He knew where the oven was from his time hanging out with Wayne.

"Want a beer, Stevie?" Eddie opened the fridge behind where Steve was fussing with the oven and cracked it open.

"Thanks. Did Wayne get stuck at work?" Steve asked as he took a drink.

"Yeah he picked up a shift. I thought you wouldn't mind us all having a movie night." Eddie hid his smile behind a piece of his hair, nervous Steve would decide to leave. Instead, the jock just smiled back, going into the living room. Eddie raced around him and grabbed the spot on the other side of Nancy, leaving Steve in their recliner.

Steve tried not to notice how close Robin, Nancy, and Eddie looked on the couch together. Nancy was in the middle with her feet up on the coffee table. Robin and Eddie on either side of her had beers and their free arms around Nancy. He did his best to swallow his pang of guilt. Had they been hanging out together these last few weeks? He should've known, no wonder Robin kept telling him to call Eddie.

He continued to sit and sip his beer. They were watching 'Friday the 13th' and Robin and Steve couldn't stop hiding when anything happened. Eddie occasionally yelled out as well, jumping off the couch. Nancy seemed unfazed.

When the timer for the lasagna went off, Eddie got off the couch and followed Steve into the kitchen. He noticed Steve throwing out his empty bottle, so he went ahead and opened another for himself and his friend. Hoping Steve thought he went in there for a drink instead of just a chance to talk to him.

"I was gonna serve you guys in the living room. Unless you wanted to come get it yourselves." Steve blushed as he took the beer. It made Eddie smile.

"I'll help you take out the ladies plates." Eddie offered. Steve reached for the paper plates before Eddie could even think to tell him where they were. Steve dished up lasagna and garlic bread-Eddie had no idea where he got it from-for everyone and turned to hand two plates to the rocker.

"Damn Harrington, you sure seem at home." Eddie mumbled under his breath. Steve didn't even turn around. Did he not hear him? Doesn't matter, he thought, I like that he's comfy here.

Steve led the way into the living room, handing a plate to Robin as he returned to the recliner. Eddie made a big flourish as he gave Nancy the food. Then Eddie ran and grabbed their beers, setting Steve's on the coffee table near him. He alternated between eating and rolling joints, forming a small pile as they switched the movie to 'Chicago'.

"It's a bunch of fine ladies in lingerie killing their husbands. Of course I own it." Eddie had retorted when Nancy picked on him for having a musical.

"Well I like it better than whatever the hell happened in 'Texas Chainsaw'." Robin shuttered as she pressed play on their movie.

"So, Steve, did your parents like freak when you came home from the hospital?" Eddie tried to speak clearly since he was across the small room. Robin and Nancy stiffened. They'd never thought to mention Steve didn't really talk about his parents.

Steve seemed unfazed, flashing a small smile and looking from Eddie to his drink. "They, uh. Haven't been back... since before." He picked at the label of his beer uncomfortably. Eddie's smile dropped.

"Didn't someone call them?" Eddie tried to hide the rage he felt. Steve had almost died, how could they not worry about their son?

"Yeah they, they did. They're just really busy and, ya know, they have business things to do." Steve tried to sound lighthearted. "They'll be back in a few days." He added.

A knock at the door interrupted anything Eddie could try to say. He got up and opened the door for Johnathan and Argyle. They came in as Eddie grandiousely gestured them to enter. Nancy glanced at Johnathan but they didn't exchange more than a nod. Had Steve missed a breakup? Eddie spoke to them quietly in the kitchen. Steve noticed Nancy scoot over into Robin's seat, reaching toward Steve to get his attention and drawing him away from figuring out what Eddie was doing.

"I'm still here, if you wanna talk." Nancy spoke low and serious. "I know that your parents can be a shitty topic."

"Thanks Nance, but it's okay." Steve tried to smile at her. She knew him too well, and could tell it was a lie. He didn't want to talk to her about it, not right now. She didn't need to hear about how he hadn't really been sleeping, or showering, or how he missed coming to Wayne's because at least there he had a reason to eat.

Nancy dropped it as Robin sat down beside her, flinging her arm back around Nancy's shoulders. Steve swore he saw her blush. Now that he thought of it, it had been a while since Robin mentioned who she currently had a crush on.

Eddie returned to the couch as Argyle and Johnathan exited the trailer. Were they holding hands? Steve couldn't be sure through the smoke and without his glasses. Eddie lit up a joint and got up to hand it to Steve.

"Wow, what happened to left is-" Robin started but was cut off by Nancy elbowing her in the ribs. Steve took a drag and passed to Nance. Eddie positioned himself on the arm rest next to Nancy and Steve tried not to be jealous that he hadn't sat by him.

They kept smoking and drinking long past the end of 'Chicago'. Talking about school and their stupid jobs. Eddie and Robin did most of the talking, making jokes back and forth. Every time Robin cracked a joke, Nancy laughed. After a while she was pretty much curled into Robin's side. Is she, flirting? Steve locked eyes with her and she smiled, seemingly knowing she'd been caught and not caring.

"Well, I think it's time to turn in. Ed, can we crash?" Robin asked after they had run out of joints.

"Of course, would you like my bed?" Eddie offered, winking at the ladies. Nancy rolled her eyes and giggled. Giggled? Now she was definitely flirting.

"Nah, we'll keep to the couch." Nancy answered. Steve got up and grabbed them blankets and pillows from the closet, too busy trying to figure which of his friends Nancy was interested in to hear Eddie behind him.

"You really have been here this much?" Eddie chuckled, making sure Steve could hear him. They both felt their faces turn red. "Why didn't you come back?"

Steve stood rigid. He had wanted to apologize, or tell Eddie he had been busy, but he couldn't think of a good enough excuse. "I just guess I didn't want to bother you." Steve played with the edge of one of the blankets.

"You are never bothering me, Harrington. My uncle Wayne fucking loves you. You can hang out here." Eddie awkwardly muttered. Looking up at Steve, he wasn't sure if he'd caught his whole sentence.

"I'd better get home. My parents will be back in the morning." Steve shrugged. Eddie nodded and took the bedding from Steve, walking to give it to the ladies on the couch while Steve got his jacket.

"Steve, is that all you've got? It's cold out there." Nancy said in her mom voice. Steve looked at them and said something along the lines of "it's fine" before letting himself out and walking home.

Eddie turned to Nancy and Robin as soon as the door shut behind Steve.

"How dumb have I got to be?" He sighed.

[laketaj24]

Serotonin III

A/N: Hey! Here’s the final part!!! I hope you enjoy it! I am working on three requests for Mr. Baker and Part 2 to The Business! My taglists and requests are open! Let me know what you think! Happy Reading!

Pairing: Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Language, Nudity, Lowkey Pettiness, Smut, orgasm denial

Inspo Song: Acting Like That : Yungblud ft. MGK, Travis Barker

Serotonin Masterlist,  MY MASTERLIST

Meg: I can’t believe you left me at the club! I was joking with your petty ass!

Colson: you said if I wanted her, go get her. I did

Meg: so you really are choosing her over me?

Meg: hello?

Meg: I know god damn well you getting my texts, you asshole

Meg: Colson.

Colson: who is this?

Meg: real funny

Colson: what you want?

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

The hours  passed since he left seemed like seconds; maybe you’d fucked up. Overreacted by busting his phone up and making him go.

Shit.

The fact that he left his phone left meant Colson knew you’d fucked it up this time. You tossed the phone on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, and to make matters worst, you couldn’t even text and say come back because you had the phone. You’d fucked up.

Guilt played a weird role in your relationship, making Colson feel guilt, easy as pie. He did shit all the time, and even when he didn’t, his little ass found reasons for him to still feel some guilt. Guilt rarely rested on your shoulders, but here tonight, it rested heavily on your shoulders. You stare down at the text messages, there were several avenues you could take to resolve the issue. The first was just say you were sorry; apologies meant a lot. But a text wouldn’t do; for starters, it wouldn’t do because you had his phone. He wouldn’t see it. Secondly, Colson would eat the texted apology and spit it out in your face if you did that to him. Your arguments had been more than toxic in the past, and you may or may not have told him text apologies were trash. The only actual resolution was to drive over to the house and do it face to face. Unfortunately, that would not be an easy feat either.

You dressed quickly, taking one of his out of the box outside your bedroom. You slide on his purple EST sweatsuit. His aroma still lingered even though it’d been washed. The musky scent of his earthy Cologne intertwined with his weed because the man smoked enough for his whole team. It was a scent you’d grown accustomed to, felt like home, even sliding back into his clothes.

The drive over usual took forty minutes, traffic and all, but today it lasted ten, or it felt like ten, and no matter how many times you rehearsed your apology, it still tasted like dirt when you said it.

“Colson, I overreacted.” You braced a smile in your rearview mirror and then leaned into the steering wheel. “Colson, you’re gonna forgive me because you’re a fucking cheater.” You growled and slammed your fist into the passenger’s seat. “Colson- I am sorry I broke your phone. I will go with you to buy another one.” You laughed and reached for the vape filled with the THC vape. It’d be best to be high talking to him. The vape hits smooth, the fruity flavor hitting your tongue before your lungs, and then a plume of smoke fills the car as you exhale. Fuck.

The knock on your window scares you, but only a little as Slim waves. He points down, signaling you to roll the window down. You do, and the plume leaves with the small gust of wind the fresh air brings. “What are you doing out here Y/N? It’s three in the morning?”

“Shit.” You glance at the fluorescent blue digits on the clock. “Damnit.”

“Yeah, you good?” Slim smirks knowing the answer.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“I can go get him.”

“No,” you said quickly. “I’ll come in a few.”

“bet, I’m gonna lock this gate.” He laughed as he walked away.

He faded from your view, and you slinked down in your seat, regathering what you were planning once more. Ten minutes passed, and you hit the vape four more times, feeling your body relax and the tension dissipates. It was time; either he forgave you, or you would just sleep in the car until he did. Every light in the house was on, upstairs and down; they never slept at night. They just slept until the next afternoon and started the party all over again. It's the one reason you refused to live with him; your sleep schedule would be fucked.

You stand at the grand doors and knock a few times, hoping they hear you over the loud ass music that played in the room over. It stopped abruptly after a few seconds, and you could hear his long strides headed to the door.

“If you don’t have food, go back home.” Colson’s playful voice came from the other side.

“I-,” You chuckled. “I don’t have food; everything was closed.”

“When I apologized to you, I had fucking food. Go get food and come back. The pizza place on Simmons is open until five.”

“Colson, please.”

“You can call Door Dash or whoever, but the entry fee is food.” The music started back, Dopeman – lyrics raged from the door, and your mouth dropped.

This fucking asshole had audacity and some fucking nerve, You banged against the door, but this time the music did not stop. He was being serious, a food fucking entry fee. Fuck him! Ten minutes passed, and he did not budge. The music continued, and you swore you could hear actual drums being played inside.

Fine. He wanted food; you’d bring him food. It was hard to strip in the back of a car, but you did. You stripped out of your clothes and grabbed the one pair of heels that never left your car. You called them fuck me heels, but it wasn’t because you were trying to get fucked. They were six inches and incredibly hard to walk in; you hated them. The most said was usually FUCK ME, when you wore them. If Colson wanted to be an ass, you’d level the playing field. You liked putting on a show too. You laid on your horn for a minute, knowing it would get his attention, clicked the headlights to your car, and stepped out into the crisp air of the night. He didn’t have too many neighbors but now was their opportunity if they wanted to see you naked. You stood bare ass in front of your car awaiting the jealous Colson. You knew well to show his face, and like clockwork, he arrived.

“What the fuck are you doing!” He yelled, charging from the house. “Y/N.”

“You said to bring food. Well, come eat.”

“You’re not fucking cute.” Colson snapped as he slid out of his jacket. He quickly wrapped your body in the black leather jacket and tossed you over his shoulder. “Fucking spoiled ass. You could have just went and got the motherfucking pizza.”

“It’s late.”

“I know what time it is,” He hissed. Colson entered the house, eyeing his friends. “Don’t even look at her.” He warned as he carried you up the steps; his hand came down on your ass with each step until you two finally reached his bedroom. Colson tossed you onto the plush black comforter and stood in front of you, “Why are you here?”

“You left your phone.” The line seemed innocent enough, but there was little innocence behind it.

“You broke it.” His confused look makes you laugh; cupping your mouth, he smacks. “Don’t come over here tryna laugh at you throwing shit at me Y/N.”

“I thought-.”

“I know what you thought.” He pointed at you, “So don’t try to sugarcoat it. You thought I was dicking  you down and then going back to her. Then you read them messages and realized you were a whole asshole.” He stated matter of fact.

“So, you’re not gonna let me talk.”

“Did you let me talk before you tossed me out? Why are you here anyway? It’s four in the morning. ”

“I couldn’t sleep.” You attempted to kick off the heels, and he grabbed your foot, stopping you from sliding it off.

“That guilty conscience is heavy, huh??” He cracked a smile and shook his head. “Leave them on.”

“You won.” You whispered. “I fucked up,” the omission tumbled from your lips unwillingly.

“Was that an apology?” Colson teased.

“I’m not saying it again.”

“Oh, you gone say that and more.” He laughed. “Sorry, ass apology.”

“Col-,” You giggled, “I’m tired. Can I apologize tomorrow, please?”

He kneeled in front of you, rubbing his hands up your legs, his touch ignited something in you, even if you were sleepy. “Oh and the next day too, shit, I’m never gonna let you live this shit down. So you can apologize all the fuck you want, but you’re not going to sleep right now. I haven’t had you in my bed in months. I wanna fuck you to sleep.”

“ I’m halfway there.” You smiled lazily at him, raking your fingers through his hair. “We have all tomorrow for make-up sex.”

“You the only person that’s doing the making up.” He reminded playfully.

“So you’ve said.”

Sleep found you minutes after you snuggled into his lean frame; you missed sleeping glued to Colson no matter how hot he felt. He nestled into you as well, pulling you against his chest, tracing his long fingers down the line of your back, humming tunes to an unwritten song when he thought you were sleeping. He didn’t sleep much tonight didn’t prove any different as the hues magenta cut across the once dark sky outside the window.

“Morning came fast.” You mumbled.

“It’s been three hours.” He whispered. “Shit, You still tired I can see it in you. You don’t have to get up.” He pulled the cover over your body and sighed. “I gotta be somewhere at eleven.” Colson groaned. “I’m gone cancel that shit.”

“No, do what you said you were going to do. Get some sleep.” You climbed out of bed, pulling drapes closed and bringing darkness back into the room. “It’s no point in missing money.” You said his words back to him.

“Yeah, whatever.” He watched you, his tongue between his teeth. “I really thought you were not coming over here tonight. I was tryna find ways to apologize to you for shit I didn’t do. It’s already fucked up when I have to apologize for this shit I did do.”  Colson adjusted his pillow and waited for you to return to the bed.

“I know I fucked up, damn.” The walk of shame was generally when you’d fucked a one-night stand, but right now, it was walking back to the bed to face him. “I get really pissy when it comes to you. Like—I wanna fight.” You cut a smile and sunk back into the bed, this time angling yourself to face him.

“Why fight me? I didn’t send the text?” He pulled you towards him and rolled himself on you. The weight was comfortable and one you’d craved. “Huh?” Colson exhaled before he leaned down and took your nipple in his mouth. He held the small nub between his two teeth, tugging a little before he began to suck.

“You’re gonna be tired.”

“Man fuck that interview.” He whispered before diverting his attention to the other nipple and repeating the same actions. You were already wet for him; one look could get you ready. Eager for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding your pussy against his boxers. He could make the foreplay lasts as long as the sex, and you both had things to do later. There was no time for the slow sex; you damn near wanted to be punished – but he wasn’t in that mode.

Colson pushed his boxers down and lifted your waist from the bed, putting you in the perfect angle to take him but instead of slamming into you as you desired, he teased. He stroked the length of his cock down the line of your pussy, soaking himself in you before finding his way to your entrance and stopping.

“Stop playing.”

“I want that apology.” Colson smiled, looking down at you.

Your pussy jumped with anticipation. “I’m sorry.”

“Fake ass apology,” He pushed an inch into you and then pulled out. “Make it real.” He whispered.

You groaned, frustrated, slapping his chest in a tantrum. “I said I was fucking sorry.”

“Mean ass apology--,” he shook his head. “That’s how you wanna play, let’s fucking play.” Colson slammed into you, and your mouth opened in pleasure. His pace was intense, knocking the breath out of you with each stroke, but you didn’t want to breathe; you wanted to cum all over him. “Say that shit as you mean it.”

“I said-,” You scratched down his back halfway, and he pins your hands above your head, thrusting into your harder and faster. “Oh,”  Tremors take over, rocketing through your body. “Yes,” You buckled against him. “Yes.”

“Yeah, keep saying yes.” He pulled out of you, slapping three fingers to your clit. “I bet you won’t cum.”

Your eyes snapped open. “I’m sorry.”

Another slap to your clit, and the pleasure had faded just a small tinge of pain, and he started to fuck you once more, long strokes, hitting your g-spot each time. “I don’t believe that shit; this pussy is just greedy. You wanna cum, you ain’t sorry.” He whispered.

“I am sorry.” You whined as your body climbed back up to the precipice of a release. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” Your swollen clit throbbed, one stroke away from cumming, and he stopped slapping your clit again, bringing pain that made you cry out. “I am sorry.” You cried. “I should not have thrown your phone.” You mewled. “I should have talked to you.” You pleaded. “Believed all that shit you said.”

“Why?”

“I don't know, let me cum.” You pulled at the one hand that had secured both of your wrists. “Please, daddy.” The lustful tone made him smile.

“You can call me daddy all the fuck you want… you ain’t getting what you want yet.” You rolled your hips, coaxing the movement from him, and he shook his head. “Stop being a fucking brat.” He warned. “Just tell me why you’re sorry.”

“Because I want to be with you.” You admitted. “I love you.”

He grinned. “You better mean that shit too.” Colson started back fucking you slow, releasing your hands but making sure he was in control. You flooded with relief feeling him give in to you, gripping your hips to meet his thrusts, all while burying his face in your neck to nip his favorite spots on your body. This is what you had wanted all along, to be with the man who’d somehow drove you insane but simultaneously become an innate piece of your life that brought you a balance you didn’t know you needed. He was, in a way, as your serotonin.

 A/N: I know I described my Meg in this fic, but just a lil disclaimer she is not Megan Fox lol I realized that could be confusing.

Taglist: @taytayize123 @ctrlszn​ @supernaturalvikingwhore​ @jae-writes-fanfiction​ @bigsisbria​ @placeoffreedom​ @kyla-queen​​ @missdforever​​ @gottatoxicattitude​​ @bang-kim-bap​​ @msreshel​​ @blowmymbackout​​ @titty-teetee​​ @strawberry-skyes​​ @mauvecherie​​ @savageiz​​ @luci-her​​ @littlelovebug98​ @babyboy-cody​​ @hellshedevil​​ @daddyavesxx​​ @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf​​ @fangirl199812 @thatonegrl-1 @isyoongi​​ @lifeisabitchandsoareyou​​ @cartoonlover101​ @therandomthoughtsofmsparker​​ @bowwowzer @fandomfic-galore​​ @mayaslifeinabox​​ @lasren​​  @szaplsdrop @heavenly1927​​ @mvrylee​​ @canyoubuymetoast​​ @littlelovebug98​

[ambria]

everytime // Sirius Black

Sweetener x Marauders

play ‘everytime’ by Ariana Grande <3

pairing: sirius black x reader

word count: 2.3k ✨

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of drinking, under-age drinking, partying, depression?, mentions of drugs and drug use, someone trying to take advantage on the drunk reader, crying? Let me know if I missed something.

This also might have a few time jumps

A/N: I wrote this in 1st person but I feel like I should make these in 3rd so that’s what I’ll start doing. But this is also my first time making a one-shot fic so cut me some slack if it’s trash. But I hope you enjoy!

I get tired of your no-shows

Taking in the warmth through my fingers I look at the door once more before glancing at the clock.

He’s late. Again

I take a deep breath to cool down my nerves and sigh. I sip the rest of my butterbeer before looking at the entrance once more and packing my stuff and walking out. I look around once more before giving up and walking back to the castle.

You get tired of my control

As I’m walking back I start to get more irritated by the step. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Always too busy to hang out because of him with his friends or too busy because of pranks. The missed dates and the interrupted times. All for his friends. I’m clearly not a priority in his life and that has to change or I’m not going to be in it.

Walking through the castle I collect my thoughts on how I’m gonna approach this situation. But since I’m so pissed off, I’m gonna take an angry approach.

I walk up to the gryffindor common room and say the password before walking in.

As I stepped into the common room, lo and behold, the marauders spread on the couches talking loudly and laughing. Seeing that made my blood boil. As I walk over I catch the attention of the brunet,

“Y/N!!!!! Hey!!!” The Potter boy called out. I gave a weak smile. Which caught the attention of my boyfriend.

“Hey, babe.” He smiled at me. I internally roll my eyes and keep an emotionless face on. At this point all the attention from the boys is on me.

“Hey. Can we talk?” In the corner of my eye I can see Remus and James glance at each other and look worriedly at Sirius. Yeah. They know better.

“Uhh. Sure. About what?” This time I rolled my eyes. I ignore his question and grab his hand before dragging him up to his dorm.

We enter and I close the door before leaning on it. He goes and sits on the foot on his bed.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.” Bouncing his knee, I can tell he’s getting impatient and just wants this to hurry up and be done with this. I get even more annoyed at this.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.”- I mocked him- “This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’re always busy! Doing this and doing that!” I start to raise my voice. My face starts to heat up due to my anger. I try to calm down but it doesn’t seem to be working.

He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

“Where were you today?! I was waiting for you! For our date that YOU literally planned!” His eyes widened with realization and looked at me with a guilty face. But I’m too pissed off to care.

My eyes start to water with tears of frustration but I’m nowhere near done,

“Everytime I want to hang out you’re always busy with your friends and pranks! You never have time for me anymore!” At this point tears are streaming down my face and Sirius doesn’t look that far behind.

“This is the third date you missed! Because you forgot! I’m done with being second best. Im probably not even that!” He has his head down, hands on his knees.

“I—I-I” he stutters out what I think is going to be some wack apology. But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.

“No. I’m done.” As soon as I said those words his head shot up fast and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No-” he goes to protest but I cut him off again.

“No I can’t do this. Not anymore. This has gone on for too long. You need to fix your priorities. I hope you don’t treat another girl like this. I’m breaking up with you, Sirius.” I don’t wait for a reply and I simply walk out of the door and walk back down to the common room, wiping my tears.

They keep telling me to let go

As I make it to the common room I notice the boys are still there. They see me and go to talk but a loud sound cuts them off. Items getting thrown around, is what I guessed it to be.

We all freeze and guilt washes over me. It’s Sirius.

But I don’t really let go when I say so

I turn my head to the staircase with a sad expression before brushing it off.

I had to. I deserve better. I thought to myself.

I look over to the boys to see that they have worried but knowing expressions on their faces. I gave them weak smiles and walked away to my dorm.

I keep giving people blank stares

Drama travels fast around here at Hogwarts. So it wasn’t long until word got out that infamous Sirius Black was single again and back on the market.

My friends are starting to get worried about me because of my reaction to the breakup, or lack thereof. I know how to keep my emotions buried. I know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but I refuse to be sad over a boy who treated me like shit.

I’m so different when your not there

What they don’t know is that I cry myself to sleep. Everyday. I close my curtains around my bed and put a silencing spell around it and sob. For hours. It’s pretty sad.

But I keep my neutral face on for everyone else. From what I know Sirius isn’t doing much better. He’s just more open about his broken heart. Lily tells me he mopes around and doesn’t speak much anymore. Let alone prank anyone.

Everytime she tells me about him being sad it makes me want to run out the room and find him to cuddle with him and kiss him and apologize profusely for the break up.

But I remind myself that it’s not my fault and that I deserve better.

It’s like something out of Shakespeare

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

I tried to fight our energy

It's been three months since the break up and I have developed some pretty bad habits.

I’ve secretly been drinking to numb the pain. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to stop.

Once all my roommates are sleeping I drink by myself on my bed. It helped in the beginning but now I can’t stop.

I’ve perfected my fake smile so no one could tell the difference. Well one person did, but I was unaware.

I’m in a deep depression and I have no one to talk to. None of my friends know, I can’t tell them. They won’t understand.

Meanwhile,

“Pads, you can’t keep moping around. She’s moved on, you should too.”

“No, I can’t. I still love her.” Sirius said but due to him being face first on his pillow it came out muffled.

“Well then you’re going to have to work your way to get her back. Show her you’ve changed.” The werewolf suggested to his friend.

“Really?” He picks his head up to face his friends, red and puffy eyes with a hopeful expression.

They nod.

But everytime I think I’m free

As the weeks pass I start to receive notes and letters with little flowers attached to them. I know they are from Sirius but I can’t seem to open them and read. It’s too hard and I’m not ready yet.

You get high and call on the regular

Once I reach my empty dorm I run to my trunk and collect all the saved letters. I place them on my bed and chuck my shoes off before climbing on my bed while getting comfortable.

I sort the letter from how I received them. I slowly open the first one,

Dear y/n,

Looking at us now I regret a lot of things.

I don’t blame you for not seeing us together in the future.

I was horrible, but for you I am willing to change. No. I will change.

You deserve so much better and if you let me I could be that person.

But I have to fix myself in order for that to happen.

If you're willing I would love to have another chance.

forever yours,

Sirius

As I finish reading my eyes are cloudy with tears. I continue to read all of the letters.

And by the end of it I’m sobbing.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

I knew it was a bad idea to read those letters. Because after that I am ready to run back into his arms and express my love. But I can’t until I know that he’s changed.

I deserve better. I keep telling myself that.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

Everytime I see him now I try to avoid him. Everytime he’s in a room, I leave. Everytime class is over I run out before he gets the chance to talk to me.

Because I know if I take one look into his beautiful stormy gray eyes I will fall all over again. And that can’t happen.

I deserve better.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

It’s Friday night and today is the big Gryffindor party. Being stressed with liquor and drugs is not a good combo but I haven’t been safe these past couple of months.

I’m in my dorm room getting ready. I decide on a natural glam look with a bold red lip and a black satin body con dress with some black heels.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I can hear the music blasting and the red led lights are turned on. I part from my friends and immediately head to the liquor table. As I’m walking I fail to notice the pair of eyes following my every move.

I take a plastic red cup and I fill it up with the hardest liquor I could find on the table. After downing the cup I refill it and make my way over to my friends who are currently in the corner smoking what the muggles call ‘weed’. It’s strong but it helps me relax. Who knew muggle were so helpful.

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

About an hour into the party everyone was either high, drunk or both. Which I was. Again me with my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I ended up dancing in the middle of the room with a huge group of people. I feel eyes on me but I’m too drunk to care at the moment.

As I’m dancing I feel someone come up behind me and grab my hips. I turn around to see a random 7th year boy. He begins to trail his hands on my body.

He leans down to whisper in my ear,

“How about we go to my down, sweetheart?” His hot breath makes a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way.

I began to shake my head while saying no but he clearly didn’t get the message because he gripped my wrists and tried to pull me with him. But because I was too drunk I couldn’t defend myself properly.

As I continue to struggle I see a person step in front of me, glaring at the boy,

“I suggest you let her go. Now.” I heard a familiar voice, I couldn’t tell who from my drunken state. Once the person turned around a smile involuntarily appeared on my face,

“Siri! Hi!” I giggled as he guided me away from everyone.

“Hi. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He picks me up bridal style and starts to carry me up to the boys dorms and to his room.

I yawned and cuddled up into his chest,

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumbled. He set me down on his bed and goes to his trunk to take out some clothes,

“I know.” He said, sadly. As he’s helping me I go on a mini rant,

“You know you treated me horrible. I just wanted my boyfriend but you never made time for me. You missed dates, you cancelled on me a lot. And whenever we had time together alone you had to leave early. I just wanted you to give me your love and attention. But I was never a priority. I miss you so much, Siri.” After he tucks me into his bed he kisses my forehead and responds,

“I miss you too, baby.” He goes to walk away but I grab his hand. Which makes him turn around and give me a questioning look,

“Please stay.” I pout. He smiles and climbs into the bed with me. I turn to look at him,

“Cuddles?” I ask him with puppy eyes.

“Cuddles.” I snuggle up next to him with my head on his chest and my legs bunched up with his. He puts his chin on top of my head and begins to play with my hair.

“You know, I still love you. And I’m willing to give you a second chance, Siri.” I can’t see him but I can tell he has a huge grin on his face.

“I love you too, pup. Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I start to drift off but before I do fully I feel him kiss my forehead again and whisper ‘I love you’ one last time before the darkness engulfed me.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

****

Taglist: @blackpinkdolan

If you want to be added to my taglist for this series message me or comment under the post.

[psychdelia]

billy woke up sweaty and sore with his head pounding. steve threw a graduation party for the seniors last night and, naturally, the popular juniors crashed it.

billy was the most excited out of the bunch, more than ready to see casa de harrington and what it had to offer. he expected the pool, expensive alcohol, smell of weed wafting from the basement.

what he didn’t expect was getting his own personal tour of steve’s room. not that he remembers much considering how this tour came about.

the details are a little iffy, some black spots here and there. billy remembers smoking with harrington and some other peers on the basement couch, beer in one hand, shitty indiana joint in the other. he waited until everyone left to pull out a bag of weed from california he’d been stashing, figured this was the best way to offer an apology since he never actually did apologize for their fight.

“now that that’s over with,” billy motioned towards the basement door once it closed. “wanna try the good shit?” he grinned as he presented the bag.

“holy shit. is it from cali?” steve asked, reaching for the bag. billy quickly pulled it out of his reach.

“of course it’s from cali, dumbass. you really think i’m gonna call your trash bud good?” he rolled his eyes. “but,” he licked his lips. “we’re square after this. no more hating me and i’ll leave you the hell alone. deal or no deal, amigo?”

steve seemed to contemplate, biting his bottom lip and eyeing between billy and the bag.

“you won’t be a dick to me or the shitheads?” steve raised an eyebrow.

“well, i can’t guarantee that.” billy chuckled. “but i won’t target any of you. plus, i already apologized to sinclair and left those brats alone. after max drugged me with whatever the fuck and nearly castrated me, of course. but i still did.” he shrugged.

billy would never admit he told max he wanted to apologize to lucas. would never admit the guilt was eating away at him until he apologized. to his surprise, lucas accepted the apology as long as billy carts him and max around to their stupid little dates. it’s pretty cute, seeing how in love he is with his dork sister. he’ll never admit that either.

“fuck, fine. deal. now hand it over, hargrove. always such a hoarder.” he rolled his eyes, snatching the bag away.

“it’s not my fault the rest of the team doesn’t know how to play ball, asshole.” billy huffed, watching steve grind and roll the flower up. “first hit’s yours.”

passing the joint around silently progressed to smoking with small talk, to them actually having a good discussion just talking about life. they were pretty gone as they talked about their parents. steve talked about traveling along the east coast with family, billy talked about california and mentioned his mom a couple times.

things took a turn when billy thoughtlessly mentioned how he used to shotgun the smoke with some friends back home and steve perked up.

“let’s do it.” steve suggested.

“what?”

“shotgun the smoke. i’ve never done it. cmon,” he sat up, patting billy’s knee. “we’ll do it to each other. you go first.” he leaned in very close to billy, leaving just enough distance between their faces. the party upstairs seemed to have quieted down.

they’d gone back and forth a few times, getting closer each time. billy was about to exhale when he caught steve’s bloodshot eyes drift down from his face and linger on his lips for longer than heterosexually normal. steve looked back up and his cheeks turned pink when he realized he’d been caught, but he didn’t seem to care.

steve really didn’t seem to care when he leaned forward and crashed his lips onto billy’s, forcing him to exhale the smoke into the other’s mouth. billy let out a soft moan when steve licked into his mouth. he hadn’t realized he ended up on steve’s lap until big hands were grabbing his ass and thighs, squeezing handfuls.

they didn’t realize the party was over and the house was empty until steve was dragging billy up the basement stairs. he groaned when billy started to kiss down his neck, blindly reaching behind him to turn the music off. by the time they got to steve’s room, they were half naked, clothes discarded along the stairs.

billy remembers getting on all fours on steve’s bed but immediately got flipped onto his back because i wanna see you, baby. he remembers wrapping his thighs around steve’s face when he licked him open, moaning when steve opened him up with deft fingers and harsh strokes to his prostate. he remembers getting fucked in the same position with steve kissing and licking and sucking and biting down his throat and chest. he remembers getting on top and pinning steve down, marking his neck up the same way he did billy.

he remembers waking up around 4am to steve spooning him. he was hard again and rutting against billy, letting out soft little moans before they fucked again in that same position, steve holding billy’s legs up and open, fingers digging into his thigh, his free hand messily jerking billy off.

now, it’s 11am and all the memories of last night came flooding back to him. his eyes are wide as he turns in steve’s arms, wincing at the soreness and stickiness in his thighs. his eyes go soft when he finds steve sleeping peacefully. his arms are still wrapped tight around billy and there are hickeys littering his neck and collarbones but he looks fucking angelic.

“steve.” billy shakes him a little. “steve.” he repeats, louder.

steve just groans and pulls billy close, tucking the blonde’s head beneath his chin and kissing his head.

“five more minutes, baby.” he murmurs tiredly into billy’s hair.

“steve.” billy sighs into his neck, feels the way steve shudders.

“what?” steve huffs. “wanna go again?” he grinds against billy, earning a moan out of both of them when their dicks rub.

“no. yeah. fuck, no. not now. wake the fuck up harrington.” billy groans, failing to escape his embrace. “fucking clinger.” he huffs.

“you literally clung to me like a koala when i was fucking you but i’m the clinger? asshole.” steve chuckled.

“have you seen your dick?” billy pinched his side. “it’s the size of my fuckin’ face, harrington. there was a lot going on.”

“oh shut the fuck up. you hungry?” steve murmured, pressing sleepy kisses to billy’s neck.

“you made me ride you for, like, an hour. i’m starving.”

“it was like 10 minutes billy. you’re so dramatic.” steve rolled his eyes as he stood up, dragging billy up with him.

“and you’re insatiable.” billy winced as the cold air hit him, cooling him off after being plastered to steve all night.

“come here.” steve murmured, grabbing billy’s hand and dragging him to the bathroom.

billy followed blindly, ignoring the heat in his cheeks at the way steve held his hand. his blush only deepened when steve grabbed a baby wipe and began to clean billy up, starting at the cum on his belly and moving down. he gave billy an odd look in which billy returned a frown, not understanding until steve gently wiped at his crack and hole, jumping at the sudden cold sensation.

he immediately told himself he wouldn’t catch feelings for this asshole, no matter how sweet or cute or hot or amazing in bed he was. but that thought was thrown out the second they got to the kitchen and billy was bent over the counter, steve draped over his body as he fucked him quick and deep, kissing down his neck and jerking him off.

billy especially didn’t fall in love when steve made him both blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes and fresh expensive italian coffee. he cringed at the way steve drank it black as he loaded it with cream and sugar, flipping a grimacing steve off as he took a sip.

“you want some more coffee with your cream and sugar? or some more pancakes with your syrup?” steve mocked with a fond smile as billy drowned his pancakes and sat half naked, only in a pair of steve’s shorts.

“fuck off.” billy muttered.

“mm, yeah, no. don’t think i will. you can’t get rid of me now, pretty boy. you’re stuck with me.” steve smirked. he leaned over and brushed stray blonde curls behind billy’s ear, watching the blush rise high on his cheeks.

[art-i-know-yes]

HIIIUUHHH I'm finally ready tooooooo LISTEN TO EPISODE 67 aaaaaannnnddd mmmnnnnbhhh. So let's carry on. Also I will be doing several other things while listening so my attention is a liiiittttlllllee spread out.

SPOILERS FOR EP 67

freddiieeeeee. GLEEEEEENNNNNNN. SO WE'RE STARTING IMMEDIATELY WITH THE TEARS.

"This must be my comic retribution. My time is done. Think of my son. Wish you all well. See you in hell." It's so GOOD. And now I remember all of this.

"IT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY SAD DND PODCAST" BETH CANT EVEN GET THROUGH THE INTRO

"I DONT CARE I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU" "FVCK OFF ANTHONY" "You don't get to talk Anthony"

"I used to play Glenn Close"

Respect to that dude on reddit. Savin himself

THEIR FAVORITE THING ABOUT GLENN. AWH.

HE DIED THE WAY HE LIVED.

Awwwhh Henry

Awwwwh Rooon

He's fvckin chillin

Glenn got the moral victory

They TRIED. FVCK ANTHONY AND FVCK WILLY

Poor Nick Jr.

Oh you mean this episode is a speed run of their trauma responses when someone they actually care about dies

The kids are gonna have to see it eventually

Also I can't get over the fact that every single parent Nick has had is technically dead except for the Foster Morgan

NICK JR DOING CPR

Ron is about make me cry again

Grant was already suuuper fvcked up. Of course Terry is horrified, probably had the clearest mindset. Sparrow becoming a lovewolf definitely brought down his resistance to this. Lark baby bring hell.

I'm scream.

Reincarnation that's what I was thinking

That's the thing. The willing soul thing. I don't think he would be. All he wanted was his son, he was already thinking about staying because there's NOTHING for him in the real world, and when he's dead he gets to be with Nick, he could do magic and play. Like I don't think there would be a reason he would come back. I mean yeah the dads but like that was his reasoning

"Mmmnnhh in THIS economy"

A DRAGONBORN

I KNEW IT

RON HAS SO MUCH GUILT ABOUT THAT

I mEan Henry's right

We get to jump him FVCK YEAH SCREW HIM

The thing about Glenn's death that upsets me the most was that he figured one thing could like make him feel better was killing his dad AND NOW HE CANT

OOOHHHH Dream spell

Honestly I think it would be better if it was just Ron

"YOU READY FOR THIS BABABABUMBUM"

"Kick his fvckin azz Ron" I can't wait for them to kill Willy

We gotta reassure Terry whoops scared him

"We'll talk about this later. Omg I'm like a Wilson"

Oooooo Beth is going full force

"You're enough just as you are. And you are nothing" A. That feels like something Willy said to Ron and now is just saying back and B. Beth has had that ready for a bit.

OOOOOOOOOOO FVCK YOU WILLY

We gotta speed this up a little

You right you right Henry

3 dad try to roll their dead friend into a blunt

We smoke Glenn's anchor

Henry been done this

All or nothing AHHHHHHHHH

McRadical my dudes

PROMOTION FOR DOUG

"I knew killing those people would be worth it"

"I know you're a murderer Doug"

Always Be Grinding

I love Doug so much

Wait I thought about this last time. They can't get the car back without Glenn and with how spells work the fake car is gone too

"Darryl, Darryl slow down"

Glenn's some really did something

OOOOO WE'RE BREAKING HENRY'S ANCHOR. I'm so scared they're just releasing the Doodler.

Your inner ability is the fvcking Doodler

Also I thought they had to break their anchors once they were at the portal for some reason. I probably had reasons but now I don't remember

Henry has issues and this is why your kids probably eat mold

"You guys were judging me for not putting water in Terry Jr's oatmeal."

Everyone really I'm WATCHING you lose your insides

Mmmmm bacteria

The resistance

Henry's body bacteria literally jumps the mold

"You walked into the wrong mircobiome"

I hope Lark doesn't like hate him when they get back

The kids get to do something safe... Which is laying the explosives

RONBAT

You go Doug

I mean we basically have one (1) solid success with Ron

Darryl you're scaring me

HENRY you're scaring me

WHEEEEEWWWWW

We kill Darryl at noon

Let's hope they don't kill Doug

God they like playing fvcking VOLLEYBALL with my heart

Even Anthony seemed relieved

YEAH MURDER

It's what Glenn would've wanted

But it AINT BOMB PROOF

We love Freddie wombat facts

THEYRE FVCKING FLYING

"Sorry something in my throat"

You have operation for this

I fvcking screeched

WHIRLWIND

TRY to escape

"Dadly"

Imagine trying to figure out a noise complaint and then being slurped into the ground

I don't think Willy ate 6 month old overnight oats with the mold

Sir, you're religion was 2 kids in a trench coat that happened to be his kids

This is why Henry quit smoking

Just imagine Barry hears this explosion and is like Henry's had weed

"Is it going to explode" "no shvt"

Really gassed them

WOOO DAD SENSE

Henry is a loose cannon

Sneaky sneaky Ron

Also the switch from a heratwrenching drama to an action comedy is mwah

Oh there's 2 ad things that's why I got confused

Awwww the nunchunks

Back to the drama

Glennades

The kids? Oh yeah because they literally just want the kids for their daddy magic

Oh yeah like we kill Paedan, huh

AWWHHHH

Damn Matt

I felt that in my throat I thought it was a burp at first I hate it

AHHHHHHHHH

What did he do whatdidhedo *iheardthescream*

Gotdammit

EYE OF THE TIGER

AWWHHHHH HE GOT IT

No Glenn sorry

DOODLERS ASSEMBLE

Scam Actually

My poor damaged heart