#your patience is truly god like haha

[thatdisastrousfangirl-writes]

Hi guys! Thought I should probably give an update regarding the last chapter of The Other Way, and I’m excitedly say it’s good news! While it’s still not quite done (and may still be a little while) I am almost finished with only two small scenes left to write! I’m aiming to be finished and posting the last chapter before the end of the year so the almost 3 year wait is nearly over :D

[prettypinkporkchop]

I Lied

Summary: You and Embry do not like each other.

Warnings: language, vomit, close to smut?

Embry Call imprinted on you, which is not a dream come true. He's got no patience with you, and you have a big mouth. He didn't want to imprint on you, but he did. You guys met when you started working for his mom at the store. He's childish, and he always talks about women. You don't know but you truly believe he's a fuck boy. Apparently, he wasn't like this in school. The shifter side is getting to his head.

Right now, the pack and their imprints are camping in the snow. No, you didn't want to go, but Embry said he didn't feel like dealing with the distant pain from being away from you.

"Don't touch me." Embry jerks backward.

"Look, I don't want to be here just as much as you don't. I'm fucking cold and you're warm. Don't be a dick." You spit.

He groans before pulling you on his chest. You look up at his face. Yeah, he's hot. But you can't stand him. He keeps his eyes closed, and you try to adjust yourself in between his legs.

"Get comfortable, or you're sleeping in the snow." He sighs. He wraps his arms around you to keep you still.

"Whatever. Don't get any ideas, fuck boy. I'm not those girls you fuck and leave." You lay your head down on his chest.

He chuckles at you. "I wouldn't even kiss you."

----

You're at your shift in the shop. It's almost 8 pm, which is the time you guys close. Tiffany is getting ready to close.

"Y/n, could you do something for me?" Tiffany asks you. She stands next to you at the counter.

"Yes ma'am?" You look at her.

"I'm surprising Embry with a dinner date, and I don't want to be late. Could you deliver these to Dr. Carlisle Cullen? I'm going to go ahead and close the store." She hands you a bucket of souvenirs.

Oh god, Embry is going to be pissed off. Oh well, haha!

"Uh, yes, ma'am. I sure can." You reply.

After the store is closed and cleaned inside, you put the box in the back of your car. You begin your drive there.

Yes, you're nervous. You haven't been around vampires because Embry will NOT let you unless it's Renesmee, and she's with Jacob. Even with everyone on good terms, being a protective shifter who imprinted does not care about the civil relationship. Embry wants you safe. But you know it's only because he does not want to deal with the grief of an imprint.

-------

At the restaurant:

Tiffany hands Embry the bottle of ketchup. He smiles, taking it from her and pouring it on his plate.

"So, how was work today?" She asks Embry.

"Not too bad. I'm tired but that's nothing new. What about you, ma?" He takes a bite of his food.

Embry believes that you are safe and sound at home, like always after work. You always just sit at home and chill until you fall asleep.

"Work was easy! Not too many customers. Although there was one tourist." She giggles.

Embry nods his head.

"Y/n is such a good worker. I can't believe you two don't get along. She's so sweet." She looks over Embry's face.

He grumbles and rolls his eyes. "To you." He then chuckles.

"Come on, Embry." She laughs. She takes another bite of her food. "Oh yeah! Dr. Cullen bought a bunch of stuff from the store." She mumbles.

"Oh, he was there today?" Embry raises an eyebrow.

"No. He wanted them delivered. He's such a good man. I had to get y/n to do it for me so I could take you here." Her words sent Embry in an internal rage. But, she continued. "They are going to pay her when she brings it there. Have you ever wondered how a family could be so freaking smart?" She laughs.

Embry takes a deep breath in and out. He's trying to collect himself. No, he's not mad at his mom. She knows nothing. "Yeah, they're smart people." He plays along. He pulls out his phone, which he feels rude doing but would feel even more rude if he just left. He texts y/n.

-----

You pull up at the all window house. You haven't been here since all of the imprints and the pack came to Renesmee's fully grown celebration party. Weird ass shit.

The door opens, and it's Bella. She's waving at you. You open the car door and grab the stuff from the back.

"Thank you for bringing these. We appreciate it." Bella smiles as you walk toward her, handing her the box.

"It's no problem!" You smile back.

Carlisle comes out of the house with a big smile. He has his wallet in his hand and is digging through it. "Thank you for delivering to us. We really appreciate it. Here!" He hands you the amount that Tiffany had asked for.

"Thanks! I better get going. Bye, guys!" You wave and get in your car. When you get inside, your phone is going crazy.

Twenty seven texts from Embry. You open them up.

Embry: Are you okay?

Embry: text back now.

Embry: mom told me where you are are you crazy

Embry: dude

Embry: yes I fucking love you and I care about you and if anything happens I'm going to kill everyone

Embry: fuck. Ignore that.

Embry: answer me now.

The texts were on and on. You start to type to reply, but he calls. You quickly answer and drive out of the driveway.

"Embry, chill. I'm leaving their house."

"I just left the restaurant. I was on my way there to you. Go to my house." He ends the call.

His house? Why? You sigh and drive to the reservation.

You pull up to his small house, which you have been to a few times. The inside always smells like incense and men body spray. Embry does smell nice. He smells just as good as he looks... omg Y/N SHH!!!! You're mentally punching yourself.

You knock on the door, and he's fast to answer it. He looks down at you. He seems mad and worried at the same time. The shirtless guy is just in his shorts. Your eyes scan his body that you've seen a bunch of times. But it still amazes you. He catches this and smirks, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside.

"I was worried sick." He sighs.

"Yeah, so worried that you confessed you love me." You smirk and cross your arms. God, yes just to get under this guy's skin!

He does this:

He looks up at you. He presses your back against the door. "If that's what I have to do to keep you wrapped around my finger and close to me, I'll lie to you again."

His words vibrate your body, and for some reason, you feel hurt. His words hurt you, and you don't know why.

"Is it because you're too busy with other women?" You hiss.

He chuckles lowly and then leans in super close to your face. You could nearly kiss him. "Sweetie, I'm not Paul. It feels good that you find me so attractive that you assume I can get any girl." His hands trail down your side.

You hold in your breath and look up at his eyes. Even though his fingers are above your shirt, it doesn't stop the electricity you feel.

He pulls away from you and then laughs. "Who's got something to confess now?" He asks.

"Bye, Embry." You say softly and turn around and leave.

----

Embry presses kisses down your neck. You're high on him right now. His hands are finding every spot on your body you want him to touch. You're arching your back to press against his hand.

"Y/n.."

You moan in response.

"Y/n, wake up."

You gasp and jump awake, and you hit your head on Embry's face. "Ow! Damn it. What do you want? How did you get in?" You place your hand on your forehead.

He gently moves your hand from your forehead and observes it. He slumps back down in his spot next to your hips on the bed. "You left the door unlocked like an idiot."

"Thanks for checking. You can leave now." You roll over away from him.

"You were talking in your sleep."

God, shut up, Embry. You don't care. But you're hoping with everything in you that it wasn't obvious about what was happening.

"Okay?" You reply.

"Is that what you want, or was it just a dream?" He remains still in his place.

How do you answer? Okay, obviously you want to say no but you... don't want to say no. How do you go about this?

"Gotchu. Well, I'm going to lock the door." He stands up.

Stop him.

Stop him.

You reach over quicker than you knew you could, and you grab onto his wrist. He looks down at you with an eyebrow raised.

The words asking him to stay are fighting to roll out of your mouth. But you remember what he said earlier. He doesn't care about you. Why should you care about him?

"N-nothing." You let him go.

He slowly leaves your room.

----

You straighten up the objects that are sitting on the shelves and dust around the store. Tiffany is on the phone with a customer. You listen to her answer their questions and keep doing your duties.

She hangs up the phone and sighs. "Did you hear about Jacob's birthday party tomorrow night?" She asks.

You stop what you're doing and look at her. "No, ma'am."

"They're having a party at Billy's. Everyone is going. I'm probably not. Are you?" She asks.

"It depends on if Kim and Jared invite me." You smile at her.

"It's crazy that you and Embry don't get along, but you two have the same friends. Wherever he goes, you go. Maybe you should try to talk to him?" She crosses her arms with a smile.

"I.." You chuckle out a breath, "we're civil."

"Well, that's better than nothing." She says.

The night finishes like usual. You get home, take a shower, and relax in bed. All day, you haven't heard from Embry. Why does it lowkey bother you?

While you're scrolling through your phone, Kim messages you.

Kim: Hey babes, you should come to Jacob's party tomorrow night! Please! It's gonna be fun.

You: I'll go, love.

----

Emily hands you a beer, and you take it. Maybe drinking isn't the best idea, considering you're trying to avoid Embry. Nonetheless, you decide to focus on your friends and have a good time.

You walk over to Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Paul. "What's up?" You ask them.

"Oh, hey! Want to go dance by the fire?" Leah asks you.

Paul laughs and then looks at you. "Yeah, Rachel is dancing with Emily right now. They look goofy." He looks their way.

"Come on." You grab Leah's hand.

You and Leah begin to dance, avoiding running into the other girls. You two are playfully dancing as you rub your butt against her. She's laughing and holding onto you.

You end up drinking too much and spending most of your time around the Black pack during the night. Jacob and Renesmee have you dying of laughter. Leah and Seth made you completely forget about Embry. In fact, you forgot he was even there. Until,

"What's going on between you and Embry anyway?" Leah asks.

"Shh." Jacob says to Leah.

You stop your laughing and look down. The alcohol makes you emotional. You start to tear up.

"Leah!" Seth says and holds onto you. You cry in his shoulder.

"Why does this have to be my love life? He's so mean. I'd give him a chance if he wasn't a stupid immature asshole." You sob.

"Poor guy told me before Renesmee came around that he didn't want an imprint. He's going to come around. You should hear his thoughts during patrol." Seth comforts you.

Jake begins to laugh. "He has feelings for you. He believes you hate him so bad. He doesn't want to get attached and let down."

This makes you stop crying and look at the smiling group.

"What's going on?" You hear a syern Embry ask. He grabs a hold of you. "Why is she crying?" He takes your face and wipes your tears.

"Because of you, dumbass." Leah answers.

You whine. "Leah! You weren't supposed to say that, I don't want him." You argue.

Embry just wraps you up in his arms. "Come on." He says.

"What if she wants to stay?" Jake smirks at Embry.

"She's drunk enough, brother." Embry laughs.

"Take her home and take care of her." Jake orders.

"Alright, alpha." Embry replies.

You cry as he holds you and brings you to your car. You start to struggle with your steps. He sighs and lifts you up bridal style.

"Embry, where are we going?" You sniffle.

He doesn't respond and puts you in the passenger seat. He gets in the drivers seat and starts to drive away.

You lean your head back and close your eyes. You're starting to feel sick. "Embry.." You sniffle. Your chest bubbles up.

"Yes, baby?" He asks.

The nickname sent butterflies to your stomach. But that makes the vomit come up more. "I'm going to puke."

He stops the car on the side of the road. He gets out and pulls you out. He lifts your hair up out of your face.

"I don't want to puke in front of you." Right as you finish your sentence, it comes out. All over the side of the road.

Envry rubs your back softly. "It's okay, baby. Just let it out." He keeps a hold of your hair.

It finally stops, and you fall back, leaning against the car. "Embry, why do we hate each other?"

"I don't. I lied about it." He sits next to you.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." You say.

He blinks in shock. How could you have known that's why he hasn't let you in? He's always thought you hated him, and giving you two a try would make a possibility of getting hurt.

"Let's get home."

He takes you to your house where he knows you'd be more comfortable.

"Okay, uh, I've never had to do this before. Uhm, take a bath, I'll set up your room. I'll get you to bed." He guides you into the bathroom.

"I need clothes.'' You look at him.

"I'll.. go get some."

You walk into the bathroom and get the water running.

He's in your room going through your dresser. He grabs a pair of undies but doesn't look at them and quickly grabs a pair of shorts. He opens the next drawer and notices a familiar shirt. Did you take it from the camping trip? It's his..

You take off your jacket and let it fall to the floor. Embry walks in and places your clothes on the sink. He walks over to touch the water to be sure it's not too hot.

"I'll leave you to it." He says.

You watch him leave, and you get undressed. You take a bath while dizzy as shit. You get out and brush your teeth. You go into the room and see your bed is made. You have water and painkillers on the nightstand. Embry is on your bed.

"Come here." He says.

You sit next to him, and he grabs your hairbrush. He begins to brush through your hair, but you groan. "Mhm, I have a headache."

He stops and sets it back down. He lays you down onto the pillow and pulls a blanket over you.

When his arm swings next to you, you get a wiff of his scent. God it always gets you.

"You smell good." You mumble.

"Is that why you stole my shirt?" He rubs your hair.

"Mhm." You start to fall asleep.

----

You wake up, and he's not in there, but you remember how you made a fool out of yourself.

You get up and get dressed. It's a Sunday so the store is closed. A day off! YES! You decide to go out and treat yourself with a coffee. You go to the coffee shop nearby and then get in your car. You're not so sure what to do next. So.. you do something you may or may not regret. You call Embry.

"Hello?" He sounds like he just woke up. His voice is rough and you can hear a fan going in the background.

That's why he hasn't texted you?

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" You ask shyly. What has gotten into you?!

"No, babe. I'm happy you called. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just.. I wanted to apologize for last night. I embarrassed myself pretty badly." You sigh.

He chuckles. "No. We know how we feel now, and that's good."

You can't help but smile to yourself.

"Can we hang out today?" He asks.

"Yes." You were so quick to answer, which made you blush at yourself. Dummy.

"My house or yours?" He asks.

"Yours. I'm already on the roads. I'll be there."

The call ends, and you drive to Embry's house, excited to smell his perfect scent.

You pull in his driveway and see him sitting on his porch with a glass of tea. There's another one sitting on the small table in between the lawn chairs.

You get out and step on the porch. He stands up and wraps his arms around you. You wrap your arms around his neck. You've never hugged him. The feeling of his arms on you in a loving manner is insane. This hug lasts and your heart is going to burst.

"Want to talk?" He breaks the hug and sits in the chair.

"Yeah." You breathe out with a smile.

"What made you think those things about me? Am I truly immature to you?" He takes a sip of his drink.

"When we met at the shop, you were laughing with Quil. You talked about certain women saying how they were hot." You look at your lap. "And when I met you, you stared at me all crazy. And being around you, it was like I was hanging out with a bunch of teenage boys. By the looks of it, I assumed you were a player." You lay it out.

He starts smiling. "I'm a guy in a pack of wolves. I'm going to act up. But for you, I'll calm it down. I'm also a guy who's never been in a relationship."

You look at him in shock. "You're like.. smoking fucking hot dude. How?! Are you a virgin?!" You ask.

"Would it be embarrassing to say I am at the age of 23? Once I shifted, there was so much going on in our world. I had no time. It was the last thing I worried about. I was also waiting for the right person." He breathes out, staring through his yard. "I can't believe I admitted that." He chuckles.

The wet dream came to mind. Even that night when he had you pressed against the wall. Is it too early? No. No. He imprinted a year ago. You've slept in the same bed.. or.. cot?

"Do.. you want to change that?" You ask.

He slowly looks at you. "You mean? Now?" His face becomes red.

You nod your head. He stands up and grabs your hands softly, standing you up. He slowly backs away. You can tell he's nervous. He looks down at the ground.

He kisses you back instantly. It felt so natural. You pull away and look at him. Poor boy was awestruck.

He pulls you in for another kiss. It's rough. His tongue is sliding with yours. His hand is on the back of your head. You start walking backward into his house. He opens the door behind you and shuts it. You two manage to keep your lips moving together.

He guides you into his room and places you on the bed. He pulls away from your mouth and looks down at you. "Have you done this before?" He asks.

"Unfortunately." You reply.

"It's okay. I can do better."

----

You lay on your stomach beside a naked Embry. He's on his stomach, too, his head facing you. His fingers run along your spine.

Embry was a natural. It was the best. You came so many times. He went for a romantic type of sex. It was your first together, and he wanted to show you how he loves you.

"Baby." He whispers.

You're worn out from that amazing fuck. Your eyes are closed and you're ready to fall asleep. "Hmm?" You ask sweetly.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

[thisdreamplace]

hello 🍁 non again! Haha!

I wanted to talk about nondual and realizing your beyond words sentances and labels.. and wanted to know what you thought of thus

I feel like people tend to overcomplicate or even telling people to mediate for several hours and even take substances to achieve this ego death..but truly we are always aware and meditating , we are meditating right now , I feel my fingers touching the iPad… i see the letters typing one by one.. or people are even too harsh on others , we’ve been bound by the “ego for so so long” but realizing the ego is just as scared as you are , using the resources it’s using , you start to give yourself grace and to slowly let go and go, it takes a while to surrender but truly , it’s worth it. Taoism and no dual pair very well together , you are all there every is you are no-thing , everything and all. You are love in its purest form , you are the silence between moments , you are the laughter in sunny days. You are the cry we always needed. You are always being perfectly guided, everything you go through is for a reason. that’s what I do..example the break up between me and my ex was so hard , I was able to cry but realizing I’m ,being guided , helped, ofcourse I cried , ofcourse I was sad and you need to process your emotions with love , no matter how long it takes your being perfectly guided in your journey always. from that breakup I made so many friends and found myself and I, forever greatful ofcourse I’m so sad it’s over , but maybe it had to happen.

I think the best to know and start disconnecting with conceptual labels is to realize you are not bound to anything , you can label yourself however , because your beyond.. labels are created by us , we created all these concepts because we enjoy putting things in boxes, I don’t even go by a name , or even a gender , sexuality because I disconnect myself with labels , bc I don’t need them at all..not because I’m too good for them , but forever and ever realizing that all of these are concepts you can disconnect from them and let go and trust “god” you are the purest form of love , your kindness incarnated into a psychical form.

it takes so much grace , you done need to do anything except realize your true beauty , love is always the way , once you realize you are simply love but yet so unique and beautifully created and labels cannot even imagine and begin to describe your ever so beautiful soul. You will find peace

You will still cry , get upset and go through grief. But it gives you grace , I am being guided but it’s okay to still be hurt. You are beautiful

I hope I phrased this right , love 🍁

hiiii my 🍁 anon~ everytime i read a message from you now i'm really happy. your expression is so beautiful!

i think your understanding of everything is so wonderful, and its fully on point. all of those things are true, and even more your willingness to allow and let go, truly is what keeps you moving forward. your willingless to trust, is truly admirable. and its important in all of this. we have to be willing to take control, by giving it up. if youre not new here, you know that this world works in paradoxes, and its always the most simple and even opposite things, that truly are what brings in magic

i love everything you said!! because we are so beyond all of these things that we believe ourselves to be, that we choose to be trapped by. sometimes i see those who wonder why nothing ever works for them, but they have never been willing to let go of all they have believed themselves to be, down to the way society sees them and down to the way they even see themselves.

it truly does take grace and patience, and you are right when you say we just need to focus on love, on the truth within us. we dont need to do anything else. it took me a long time to realize i dont truly need to heal from anything. if i just focus on love, i naturally begin to heal. no more making sure im this way or that way before i'm perfect or ready. just realizing love now, and choosing it now, in each moment that i can, is truly enough. love is always enough

thank you so much for sharing these lovely words and thoughts <3

[the-haunted-office]

It took a fair minute or two for Thursday to accept that there were infinite alternates of herself here in this same dimension with her, all walking an infinite amount of staircases going off in all sorts of wonky directions, all ascending as The Narrative had said.

It took a fair minute or two longer for her to accept that she was walking that same path along with them. Well, not the exact same path - she did have her own set of stairs, after all, leading up like an endless spire into the sky, which was a problem in and of itself, which she'll get to in a moment.

It took a fair minute or two even longer than that for her to accept that not only was she and all her alternates here to complete this business of ascending - whatever that was - but that they were all a part of this greater collective known as The Narrative.

(Cut here due to length!!)

The Narrative.

THE actual NARRATIVE.

The whole Narrative of... everything?

How could that be?

Her, Thursday, this simple, plain, ordinary office worker with literally nothing to her name but an employee number and maybe like, two or three pens... part of the whole, entire fabric of what creates and controls and moves the entirety of... everything?

How?

And what exactly does that mean?

Does that mean that she, somehow, has created... everything?

Or does that mean that The Narrative already existed and that it - They - created her in Their own image and... what? What's that mean?

It is not... that simple... Thursday...

Thursday pauses on the steps, for she had begun ascending again, simply for a lack of anything else to do but ascend, and think. "How do you mean? If you, The Narrative, created everything, and I'm a part of you..."

We are not... The Narrative... of everything... We are The Narrative... of you... There are many... Narratives... out there... within... the Greater... Narrative... To be... a part of... that Narrative... would be... tremendous... mind-boggling... Even We... cannot... comprehend...

"...You know, you're making me feel very small here, haha," Thursday laughs, a bit breathlessly with her wonder of it all. But truly, a part of her is relieved. She'd hate the idea of feeling like... she is a part of something so great, she can't even comprehend herself. Her head is already fucked up enough.

There is silence for a few moments. The stairs continue their ever-upward spiral, and Thursday continues her ever-upward march of them.

"Hey, are these stairs really endless? Like, how long do they go? How long does this whole, you know... ascending process take? And how will I know when I've reached the end?" she asks.

You are... already well... along your journey... Thursday... However the process... of ascension... takes time... and patience... and a lot... of reflection... You... and you alone... will know... when you are ready... I'm afraid...

Thursday sighs. "You really can't give me any hints or anything? Signs? Or like... a clue or puzzle to complete or anything? This is boring. It's not like I don't want to join you or anything. I really do! I promise. Not trying to trick you or anything."

We know... you do... but the process... is... the process... for... a reason... You... will know... when... you... are ready...

Thursday wishes she knew what The Narrative meant by all this. She'd feel a whole lot better knowing what she was looking for. It was part of why she never bought into the whole religion thing while she was alive. Faith. Faith was based on things she couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't prove with anything other than just... well, faith. The blind belief in something that couldn't be proven with facts. She had no proof of God. No feeling that he or she or whoever was ever there for her. Not even after her mother died. She'd tried. She'd really tried to pray. To go to church, even, at times, trying to reach someone, anyone. But there was nothing. No one. No answer. Just silence.

So she gave up seeking answers from that source. There was no source there, after all. To her, she may as well have been talking to a wall. A wall, at least, she could see and feel. And it at least provided some kind of protection against bullshit.

She does eventually find out, though, after many more hours of ascending this staircase, hours of thought, reminiscing about her life - she was actually thinking about her mother again, when it hit her, the pain, stabbing right through her with so much intensity she cried out and dropped to her hands and knees, right there on the staircase, tears instantly springing to her eyes, sobs wrenched from deep down in her lungs.

It hurt. It hurt so much, losing her mother. It was the most painful thing she'd ever experienced. She'd always heard that childbirth was the most painful thing a person could experience, but they were wrong. Physical pain wasn't the worst. It was always, always emotional pain. Mental pain. And the memory of the way she'd been sat down by her mother and step father, along with her brothers -

Stage IV. Spread to her lymph nodes, liver, spine in two places, incurable, six months-

-slamming into her like a tidal wave, followed by another-

-Charlie, I'm sorry I let you down so much, I always let you down/No, Mommy, you never let me down, you've never let me down-

-followed by another-

-didn't work, how could it have not worked? They said you had the best chance on this new medicine! They said it was a 100% match! I don't understand-

followed by another-

-No, I'm not leaving her, I want to stay with her-

On and on and on, like snapshots, wrenched from her mind and forced right there in front of her, as if she hadn't felt them enough throughout her life.

It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. Like drowning in fire. Like drowning in freezing water. She can't go on. She can't go on. She can't go on.

Rise... Thursday... Ascend...

"No... No... I-... I c-can't..." she croaks, curled up there on the stairs like a shivering, whimpering little shrimp.

Thursday... Rise... Ascend...

"Why... Wh-Why... Why are you... doing this?"

Thursday.............. Rise............. Ascend...........

"Nnnnnmmmmm....."

It takes an enormous amount of effort on her part, but she does, she does rise, and she does continue her ascent.

A few steps later, it happens again.

[truths33k3r4]

How would you say Lotus’ relationship is growing with the brothers?

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO RESPOND TO-

I was on vacation and away from my precious computer with all my lovely files and sketches on it, so I had to wait till I got home to answer-

ANYWAYS! To your question!

Ooooh hehe this is gonna be another long one~ STRAP IN HAHA!

(Before I begin I'm going to give a little warning, because this is, technically, discussing spoilers of my story! You have been warned!)

(TW- mention of ptsd, needles, medical phobias, implied experimentation, trauma)

Lotus begins her time with the brothers pretty... rough. She's hurt, afraid, and continually fighting to keep control of her emotions and ptsd. She attempts (at first) to cover this up by speaking with more confidence than she truly has. She's blunt with her words, never allowing someone to misunderstand her. But her honesty becomes troublesome as Mikey becomes more curious about what happened to her. He constantly asks questions, and in order to keep from scarring the younger turtle, she vigilantly censors and blurs her answers.

It helps that Mikey has been in the Medbay so many times himself. Many of Lotus' triggers lie in that medicinal room, and Mikey quickly learns this. It doesn't quite make sense to him at first why she's so scared. He's been sat down on that exam table more times than he can count, but any time fear tried to show its ugly mug, the love and gentleness of his oldest brother's care pushed it back into the shadows.

To Lotus, Mikey looks and acts about the same age as she might be, so she feels a natural sibling comradery with him. It takes some time for her to finally open up to him, (again, for fear that she will legit BREAK THIS POOR BOY), but his gentle encouragement eventually pulls the last brick of her crumbling walls loose.

~

Lotus and Don share many similarities: Their lack of patience for any kind of stupidity, their shared mentality of logic over emotion, and especially~ the reason of their work ethic.

Don is the only brother who has a "human" job. He works in IT, helping customers with their computers, files, softwares, etc. He has put this large responsibility of a full-time, remote job on his shoulders so he can be of more use to his family. Sure, he takes care of the various leaks and loose screws (his brothers) around their home, but it never feels like it's enough. God gave him a brain- so he better put it to good use! Like a rusted piece of an engine, you're only so useful for so long, and can easily be replaced if a better substitute comes along.

Lotus, (after recovering enough to stand and walk on her own again), quickly tries to find a chore she can do for the family that took her in. They went out of their way to take her into their home; giving her a bed to sleep in, real food to eat, and a warmth in her heart she never dreamed of feeling.

Their grace will never be wasted on her.

After finding that she was still too weak to do most of the chores around the lair, she defeatedly went to Don for advice on what she could do. They brainstormed for some time. Don would click and clack on his computer, jotting down all the possible choices for her, until one in particular caught Lotus' attention.

BAKING.

With his thorough understanding of chemistry, as well as years of watching and helping Splinter as a child, Don was the perfect teacher for her. After his shift ended, he and Gliss, (his nickname for Lotus), went into the kitchen and baked an array of strudels, croissants, cakes, and many other delectable treats. Don would even sneak a few pastries from their load of "stale" baked goods from the bakery down the street, to use as reference for techniques on folding, braiding, and so forth. They would also get some good ninja practice in while fending off Don's thieving brothers from their sweet treats.

(Here's some old concept art of a later scene of Don and Lo on the rooftops) :)

~

Lotus and Raph don't always see eye to eye. In fact- they fight. A lot. Like Don, Lotus is also extremely similar to her fiery brother. Their boldness and tempers mix violently, creating a flaming whirlwind of spite and annoyance in a matter of seconds. Neither will usually back down, often leaving that particular responsibility to someone else. Their arguments can range from a long and low-flickering rivalry, to a raging inferno that will swallow both of them up if not stopped.

However, the worst of enemies can also become the closest of friends.

When Lotus begins having horrible side affects of her treatments, (or lack thereof), she vigilantly tries to keep her sickness hidden. (She can NOT be a burden to the family that took her in- not EVER) Raph is one of the first, (alongside Leo), who catches on to what she's keeping hidden from them. When all is revealed, and arguments begin, Lotus finally breaks about her guilt of being a burden to her the family. Raph recognizes this guilt as the same in his own heart from years of being an enemy of one of his brothers. This connection of weakness bonds the two.

Over time, they learn to respect the other's opinions and feelings, no matter if they make sense or not. The specific Bible verse "A fool uttereth all his words, but a wise man keepeth them in" is continually referenced by their brothers on the road to their relationship's recovery.

Curt replies and snide remarks become clarifications and encouragement.

Competition becomes humility.

Rivalry becomes tenderness.

Eventually, Lotus is often found chilling alongside Raph in Don's office while the freckled brother works. Lotus loves to watch Raph sketch in his notebook, and Raph soon learns to allow the subtle scrutiny, so long as he gets to spend time with his sis and twin. Their passion and creativity blend into something beautiful when they come together to create a very important mural.

(More concept art- and also something else the two share.. A fear of needles. :( )

~

Lotus and Leo's relationship begins pretty badly at first.

After the dreaded surgery gone wrong, Leo becomes more nervous and hesitant around Lo. His guilt of what went wrong during the surgery being his fault drives him to be extra cautious around her, trying not to bring up anything that will trigger her in any sort of way.

Lotus both appreciates it and hates it. She loves his care for her, but she despises being coddled in any kind of way. She isn't some delicate flower that will blow away with one sneeze. She also becomes more hesitant to be near him, (not just because he works in that awful room), always choosing to hang out with Mikey or the twins.

Leo can't blame her.

When Lotus begins having tense side affects to her treatments in the labs, Leo and Raph combine forces to get her to tell them when she's sick. "I'm fine" is no longer a liable answer to how she was feeling. Nope- they demanded descriptive and thorough answers.

The road of Lotus' recovery is a long and tedious one.

Every second spent in the Medbay filled Lotus' heart with the paralyzing chill of her past. And despite previously forgiving Leo for the surgery gone wrong, she still had a stubborn spark of distrust in her heart towards him. Especially when he treated her.

But after an exhausting few months, she slowly grows stronger and healthier. Her Medbay visits become less frequent, (much to her delight), and her independence finally is given the chance to bloom. Leo still catches himself coddling her, but always cuts himself off and dismisses his oldest brother protective instincts.

Over time Leo introduces her to one of his favorite past times~ puzzles while listening to music. Something simple, that didn't require too much brain work, and also could be done sitting down. It was the perfect mental getaway for the leader; Something so calm and relaxing that he could do to recover from a mission or a stressful day in the Medbay. (And of course he could organize every single puzzle piece and not get flack for it, because that is LITERALLY HOW you do a puzzle, and it is NOT WRONG to enjoy the organization process of shapes and colors~)

So whenever they weren't training, or off saving the small world of New York, Lotus and Leo would sit and hum to various soundtracks, while placing and organizing the puzzle pieces.

Okay, that's all I have for now! :) I have been writing this for two hours now heheh XD

Thanks for the question, Anon!!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[soul-of-justice--uty]

[Intro]

You really wanna do this the hard way, huh? Haha, alright then! Let’s have a little fun before I absorb your SOUL for good! Now, remember what I taught you! Dodge the bullets!

[BEST FRIENDS FOREVER]

Welcome to hell Now bid your farewells! No one will hear your pleading! Tired of your running Finally it’s done and Now Flowey does the leading! This game is over My little Clover Tired of your shenanigans And tired of your trying All of your progress And it’s still hopeless Let’s go back to basics - Which is you and endless dying!

(dying, dying, dying, dying, dying, dying, dying, dying)

For so long I planted seeds And waited for their blossoming So close to all my hopes and dreams But YOU just ruined EVERYTHING!

Patience is out, I’m tired of pretending Put on a brave face Fake integrity, you great disgrace! You persevere, but I write the ending! Justice isn’t kind, it’s blind Determination breaks your mind!

Now together, two Best Friends Forever ‘till your SOUL will end!

*Laughter*

Everybody dies in pain And all will fall to Flowey’s reign Everybody dies in pain And all will fall to Flowey’s reign Everybody dies in pain And all will fall to Flowey’s reign Everybody dies in pain And all will fall to Flowey’s reign

Nowhere to run Time for some fun Cling to your gun And your SOUL Reality Belongs to me Now you will see My control!

[specimen: patchworked]

*Laughter*

Your little story Oh, it’s so boring ‘Till it added me! You were worthless ‘Til you joined the circus I wove the tapestry!

Could’ve reached ASGORE Would have been fine Though you were a bore Didn’t hate all our time Lost souls together Side by side Deciding who lives and dies

[specimen: organic]

Playing nice Thought you were a martyr Then thought twice When I tried to coach you harder Wastes of time Led to such an awful silence Our design Was far better marked with violence! Had a chance But that was long ago Circumstance Turned your belly truly yellow Your heart beats But I can hear it slow Face defeat And yet deeper we will go

[specimen: clay]

*Laughter*

Come on, Let’s play! Entertain me for a little longer Molded like clay Bet you wish you got a little stronger

Some say yellow is the color of justice Close, but that’s not the word I would choose Yellow is judgment, consequence, trust this ‘Cause of everyone who’d know it’d be you Made your choices, heard their voices Tuned all those useless noises! Now you’re here devoid of all hope! So let’s see how deep the void is!

[specimen: paper]

Life is a crazy ride You look for the best time Whatever thrills you find Crumple up like paper So you follow your heart Hoping for the best part ‘Till you end where you start Ended by your maker!

[specimen: polygonal]

Our time, supreme We made the best team So ends your dream At my beginning But we can still play ‘Till the end of your days ‘Till you realize your station That they can’t be saved!

Never meant to last forever Still and all we should endeavor Thought you’d stop, thought you were clever? Now your soul I’ll cleanly sever

[specimen: mechanical]

Tired of feeling Cold and so mechanical More appealing To become tyrannical

The souls will be mine Break the king’s facade! I’ll become divine! I’ll become your GOD! And as the vortex whirls We’ll keep fighting still After all, in this world… IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED

[AFTERLIFE]

No more games No more living in denial Only pain Only struggles for survival ‘Till you die!

*Laughter*

Welcome to hell Now bid your farewells! No one will hear your pleading! Go on and flail I’ll end this tale After you're hoarse from screaming!

You’re a sixth Sacrifice This is your Afterlife

No more games No more living in denial Only pain Only struggles for survival ‘Till you die!

*Laughter*

Best friends forever Lost in the nether Here ‘till the fun is over All in my head Even if you’re dead Try again, my little Clover

I ain't reading all that

[fruit-salad-ship]

I don’t understand why anyone had a problem with the Rome AU? It’s. It’s fiction. It’s not meant to be historically accurate, that was never the point. What, y’all gonna start coming after every period romance written ever?

I adored Rome AU. It was one of my favorites. It doesn’t have to be anywhere close to accurate, it just has to be fun for you to create. So create more of it if it makes you happy. You deserve that 💖

I would love to, it had a very specific energy, but I got a lot of people correcting me about little details. It puts me off creating anything to do with it despite loving it so much, because I’m just here having fun but people are mad about idk, a dye colour, or some tiny detail about how a social norm was written about or something. Now I hate history, I failed it, every test I ever took I failed horribly, it was my one true subject I just didn’t click with, so having to essentially research a bunch of history stuff before enjoying a mindless hobby topic that’s more about OCs than the setting kind of just sucks! Like a lot!! my adhd hates it haha, I can’t read a sentence without reading it 3-4 times. I just don’t read well, and when I say this people suggest audio books or YouTube videos; no one seems to understand that I truly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I truly cannot focus on historical content. It’s all very important and interesting but just not something I can consume and enjoy? I’m too stupid for it haha!

BUT. I really do miss it, I made the Star Wars AU a reflection of it to escape the history buffs that heckle in the tags, but somehow it doesn’t have the same energy, close but somethings missing.

Either way it IS fiction, I was going to throw some of the old gods and monsters in to try to pull it away from the history aspect, but it was too late by that point, and no doubt someone would have had issues with that too.

Defo one of the greats, I love big wet dog peach who just needs love and patience and gentleness. There was real charm to plum and her calm power, and grey the biggest sweetheart of them all. Idk. Guess it’s done for sadly, but GOD, miss it so much. Just finished with being expected to research something I just want to enjoy for he fun of it yknow? My brain can’t do it hah

I love that it was one of your favs, I hear it a lot, and love that briefly it brought some joy to others!

[ladyryukyo]

Hello, I hope work is going ok

Haha, I also hope this is somewhat coherent, but I am very bad at assembling my thoughts into something that resembles a narative, but here are some thoughts that has been carouseling my mind:

Recently, I have been thinking abou beyblade fantasy AU's: A grant adventure, a world fractured into many fighting factions (some human, some elven, some with magic powers and so on), soon to be overshadowed by The Great Dark Lord Nemesis™��

The legendary bladers are propheciesed to save the world, and as of now most of them traveling together on some great mission to raise an army to defeat Nemesis or smth (everyone except Ryuga? Have a very hard time imagining him going anywhere with anyone). However the legendary bladers are NOT a cohesive unit, they are from different factions and have a hard time trusting each other 😔 </3

Along with this, I've been thinking a lot about armor: how to make it functional and actually protective, while still evoking the feel of the bladers original outfit... (ok actually I've mostly I have been thinking about how to make armor, that looks like a crop top with a big billowy coat for Kyoya, but at the same time actually protect his vital organs)

My solution for now is probably layering some chain mail under some cut up shirts, but then I ran into my second problem: that much armor is heavy, noisy and warm (since you'd also need layers beneath the chain mail), would an adventurer even wear that much armor on a day to day basis?... So now I am trying to come with a way to balance that out... (Actually after writing it down tho, Kyoya specifically would absolutely see wearing heavy armor as a great training exercise...)

Also bc Kyoya gets special treatment as my favorite character, and I think he could use more "great-destiny-I-didn't-pick-and-thus-don't-want" issues: Mayhap his mother is the heiress to one faction, but she was driven away by an usurper, who is now out to kill her and her descendents? (No scars from *accidently* falling windows in this AU)... (Also maybe the usurper is paying Chris to take care of her descendents?)

Aaaahhh anyways thanks for reading all of my ramblings <3

henning i can always count on you tysm for sharing your ramblings w me <33

fantasy au my beloved!! the idea of the legendary bladers roaming around the lands and trying to rally an army while constantly bickering with each other is so funny. i have to agree that ryuga probably wouldn't travel with them but! imagine the kenta & ryuga interactions in this scenario :(( kenta tries to learn magic from ryuga who is so so good at it but unwilling (and without the patience lbh) to teach. kenta just stares at him really hard and tries to learn by observing ryuga do impossible feats of magic. ryuga acts annoyed but he also loves the attention lol

plsss kyoya in fantasy armor is simply amazing and badass. id love to see it. i know its impractical but i do imagine him in a chainmail crop top or something similarly unnecessary but stylish. anything for the glam. could also imagine some kind of corset top-like leather armor? i think leather armor would be the go-to for adventurers anyway.

kyoya is the perfect protagonist for a "refusal of the call" trope lmao. it would be a "fuck this, im gonna do my own thing" situation with him. every. time. "i don't care that you're a god or fate or whatever and you can't tell me what to do."

d-did you just make kyoya/chris possible in this au?? FJFDHSSJS maybe it's just my permanent brainrot for this ship but! chris keeps failing to assassinate kyoya but he's come close a couple of times and also kyoya's scars being a result of one of chris' assassination attempts and also they know each other by now after all this time and they probably keep bickering while trying to kill each other which is so unprofessional but it's almost like they're friends and do they really actually truly want to harm each other at all at this point?

... im blaming you for this tangent lol thank you henning i truly appreciate this <3 love you

[chemicalbrew]

tagged

by @radellama :3

Do you make your bed?

I haven't made my bed in like four years. There's no point to it any more 99% of the time these days.

What's your favourite number?

The normie answer is seven, the funny answer is zero. I do like them both!

What is your job?

A job you had that would surprise people?

(celibacy gif, but it says UNEMPLOYMENT)

I'll have to start looking for shit in a few years, though... I guess I should be looking for it now, too, because surely I can freelance and all that... I just don't want to. Sloth has always been my biggest sin 💚

If you could go back to school, would you?

Maybe... I wouldn't mind going back to high school, but also I don't see much reason to. I used to actually despair about not being in school any more a relatively little while ago, but now? I don't know, I think it's more important to try and look forward...

Can you parallel park?

Can you drive a manual car?

Favourite childhood sport?

(celibacy gif, but it says DISABILITIES) I will never be able to drive or do sports :D

Do you think aliens are real?

Ironically, I think my opinion on aliens and god is the same: they're definitely out there, somewhere impossibly far away, and incomprehensible. Probably don't care about us that much, either.

What's your guilty pleasure?

both are incredibly obvious answers, but fuck it

At this point, rerunning KZ counts as one because for fuck's sake, I have so much stuff in my backlog, but instead of getting around to any of it, I just... play the same levels for the 100th time without even getting any better, pfft.

In the sense of 'enjoying something that isn't regarded well', gotta be Brandish or DOD. When I actually get around to researching DOD1, it will be so over for you all...

Tattoos?

None and I'm pretty sure I don't want any. If someone offered, I'd probably do something floral on my arms, but I really don't care... With how often my brain switches gears, it'd be hard to find something I would never regret getting.

Favourite colour?

Usually I say blue and purple, but I think a funnier way to describe my preferences would just be 'the bisexual flag'. I'm not particularly partial to pink, but I like the more purplish shades of it, you know? Especially if it leans into the... bright neon aesthetic, I guess... idk how to explain

Favourite type of music?

everything rads doesn't like

I was actually put on the spot with this question a few days ago, and the best I could do was stammer out 'uhh... dance music', but the real answers are

Electronic music, particularly EDM, house, DnB, vaporwave and synthwave in that order

Music made using vocal synths

Video game music

all of which are incredibly nerdy and pretentious, but really, the overlap of these three types is where I feel most at home.

Do you like puzzles?

Never had the patience for big jigsaws, but enjoyed smaller ones as a kid. I am not opposed to a good puzzle game every once in a while, either, but I'm not particularly passionate about this sort of thing.

Any phobias?

Nothing too extreme, I think... or maybe I haven't had to see anything truly scary in ages, haha.

Do you talk to yourself?

ALL THE TIME. At some point I suspected I have OSDD, but I have no way to actually try and find out (even if I did, I figure there's really no reason to). All you need to know other than that is that the answer is ALL THE TIME in my head, and 'when no one is home' when it comes to talking out loud. It's especially helpful when I'm going through emotional and stressful stuff, obviously.

What movies do you adore?

Tale of Princess Kaguya, Perfect Blue, uhh what else did I enjoy... movies are hard

Coffee or tea?

Both, in copious amounts 🍵☕

I have specific flavor preferences, of course, but as long as it's tasty, I'll be drinking :D

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up?

I don't remember... I feel like I was focusing on trying to survive first, and then others kept telling me what I should be doing...

[lindszeppelin]

Linds… ugggggggh. Just ugh. I’m about thisclose to losing my shit. I agree with you on the Cabo pix and it’s absolutely disturbing to see him AGAIN hiding under a towel.

I’m distressed that he is not more distanced from this group and my patience is running thin. I wish I could completely shut out Austin’s non-work related images and info. But honestly there’s no way.

I have some musings about the situationship status — that (full disclosure) have no basis in knowledge or reality. It’s just the crap rolling around in my head. Anyway…

We have discussed the complex elements he was navigating in his personal and professional life as this arrangement was orchestrated. I wonder if he has conflated his own increased level of fame/attention due to his work with the amount of exposure he has by being associated with them. I mean maybe he doesn’t see it as a “Gerber” problem but mistakenly thinks it’s mostly due to his own fame. Like they would be able to live a more private life if not for HIM.

I find it hard to believe a man in his 30s who grew up in Hollywood would be that naive. But maybe his good heartedness has blinded him a bit to their ways.

AND/OR

He’s 100% not interested in a life partnership at this time and this will do for now so why bother breaking up with K and drawing down all the associated drama when he clearly invests minimal emotional capital in her anyway. It’s a great idea except for the downside that she/this tarnishes his image. But he is likely unaware of that part. And maybe no one whose opinion matters to him actually cares.

I don’t know.

This is what my brain resorts to because I fucking can’t stand STILL seeing him associated with her. It’s like pairing filet mignon with funyuns.

What is wrong with me??? Why why whyyyyyyy do I waste my time/energy on this????

Thanks for being there bestie! Thank god I’m not alone.

haha MJ I adore you so much, and i love your analogy of filet mignon and funyuns.

but i first wanna say that the reason why you or us can't stop thinking about this no matter how hard we want to just support austin's work and not want to be forced to see the cringe shit about his situationship is because we clearly see it for what it is. if he was with the woman of his dreams that he loved, we would support him and we would invest a lot less time musing over it because well...there would be no issues with said relationship to be concerned about. as women, we have the deeply intuitive knowing that SOMETHING IS WRONG and the problem is not being corrected. it's being left to corrode. plus, we care about him and so we worry. just like any person in our lives that we love, we worry and our brains can't help but get drawn to it and hope that they're okay. same applies here. so, you're not crazy for thinking about this or putting energy into it. we would not be here if he was in a truly loving relationship that was fucking obvious to the entire world. we would applaud him and wish him the best and have peace of mind. this situationship disturbs the peace because it is not right.

but secondly, i think the latter of your theories is where my money goes, if i was a gambling woman lol. she is a "here for the moment" chick, not "wife material". minimal investment, not wanting to deal with the litany of press and media about a huge breakup announcement. he's probably still traumatized from how the media has taken and spun the vanessa breakup so i don't blame him for being a little scared. but what we know is that kaia is not his forever. men that are serious about their intentions on a woman will waste no time, and will not only show their genuine interests for a woman but they will make plans and they will settle down faster. it happens all the time. my parents got engaged after 6 damn months and they're still together after decades of marriage. he clearly is not ready at this time for marriage and she is too young for that serious commitment. so, low investment and probably biding his time waiting for the right time and the right woman for him to drop this gerber baby.

he's a smart man, he would not propose to a 22 year old girl like this is 1942. he just got out of a 10 year relationship not long ago. men don't jump ship like that so soon. it's gonna take him time to be ready for that serious commitment. and men take a lot longer to be truly ready for marriage before women are anyway. he is focusing on his career before settling down, clearly, as he has stated a lot that he is career focused.

but i'll end this by just reinstating that the cabo pics from last christmas and after the award season this year were vastly different in tone compared to this christmas. he was out and about the last two times, yes he had a towel on his head once, but generally he was seen pictured outside. this time he was seemingly hiding away in the resort, left by himself and not wanting to be seen by the paps with her or her family. alarm bells ring off. if this man has to practically quarantine away on what is supposed to be a vacation then it seems like he's at the end of this rope. also, what man that had a 2 year anniversary with their girlfriend act like that? a man that doesn't give a damn about her. he never did this with vanessa, not even once. he was proud to be around her, and if the paps came around when he didn't want them around then he protected her first from the cameras, using himself as a shield. but the towel over his head in cabo is different. how much more he is willing to take before enough is enough is up to him, but this felt like a desperate attempt to be by himself. and if kaia was the one, she would never put her man in that position out on the beach to be readily papped when she knows he doesn't like it.

and no bestie you're not alone <3

[purplelupins]

ok hi hello im back and have read the new chapter twice haha

obviously excellent, enjoyed the entire thing!! ive found your deviations from the show super interesting in that they are realistic enough that i don't even question it while reading; and it keeps me guessing despite knowing the story so well already. it also gives you so much room to yank my beating heart out with moments like ali :'(. (i love it don't ever stop)

FAV SPECIFIC MOMENTS TIME WHOOT WHOOT

"John finished and closed his eyes as he found his patience for you."

there's a headstone just in front of me that reads "your dignity". this sentence is engraved on it.

the idea of having the space to be the feral, scared animal i am? and him just being a steady, patient man waiting for the panicked lamb in his arms to stop writhing? good lord. i dont know how you read my mind so well but damnit you did!! there's of course more to be said about him (a damned man) reaching out to god still to find strength to deal with his charge, but this section is plenty long enough haha.

"but he knelt in front of you and tucked the blanket around your hips and thighs, then began putting the socks on your feet like it was the most normal thing in the world."

i see you!!! you thought you could sneak a feet washing as a metaphor for love reference in here and i wouldn't notice!! you fool! but seriously this is wonderfully subtle and ties in SO SO well with when John talks about the similarities in his own company he preferred to keep and Jesus's.

it's from the first episode, "No, he seemed to go straight for those folks who weren’t in a state of grace. They were his favorite people, turns out. They were the ones he called friends." another excellent example of how well you characterize him, and evidence of the dedication put in to this fic! :3 (had me also digging through screenplays to get accurate dialog lol)

less specific but still moments i want to mention!

all of the hunter/prey metaphors and references are done so nicely and perfectly encapsulate the raw, slow build of panic that flanagan brings to his works. <3

every time there is a nod to the creature that john is now i am squealing and kicking my feet. the idea of being the one person he'd really struggle but force himself to restrain it around is downright delicious. it's also no longer he that is holy and being tempted, he is tainted and being tautned by divinity in his own living room. which of course is such tasty angst i have to approve.

also every time john would be over the moon excited about something and have to choke it down lest he spook his lamb, perfection.

and finally, the sunrise. he would have stayed there and that drives me up the wall. the battle of wills that happens is so good, and it ending with acceptance is beautiful. and terrifying for what it could possibly foreshadow (≖_≖ ).

but no matter how it ends i will be SAT i am loving this story and cannot wait to see where you take it! its been like a real solid meal i can sink my teeth into :)!

ok thank you once again and im now off to hide in a cave after sending you this essay (please tell me if it's weird btw) lmao - 🌟c

I don’t think you understand. I am SQUEALING.

I don’t even know where to start but just the fact that you clocked so much of the subtle things that I put into my writing to build different emotions and connections has me so giddy.

Ah yes. I too am completely and absolutely feral for the patience of a man. And John has much of it.

I’ve been really enjoying their back and forth with each other too. Just him trying to be so reserved and slow with her while she’s really trying to trust him because he’s all she really has right now to help her through this. Their little moments of togetherness I think really shows how humans truly do desire some kind of connection.

Ngl I screamed a little when I saw you noticed the sock/foot thing. Didn’t think anyone would notice. She truly is his saving grace and he is going to give her the best possible care he can, even if she doesn’t like it.

I am over the moon and just wiggling in my seat with happiness. Thank you thank you thank you for all of your thoughtful analysis and comments and thank you for being here to read it!!!

Please don’t feel weird about sending me long asks or comments, they are really what keep me going and writing because without the feedback it’s just like sending writing into a black hole! I love you so much for sending me all this truly!!

-Nora

[papabirdurskeks]

I'd like to know your opinion on a thought surrounding the precursors I had. A lot of people have speculated that unveiling has been retconned or is just witness propaganda, but I posit that unveiling is a Theodicy, an explanation as to why there is evil in the world when something as powerful as a god exists, [the traveler, the veil, paracausality at large]

This would also mean that, compared to a Christian framework, the terraformer at the beginning of entelechy [I've only just began reading] is something akin to a theological Satanist in the eyes of precursor society

To be honest, I am very much in the same boat with you when it comes to the thoughts surrounding Unveiling.

It feels to make more sense to view it as a probable religious text of sorts for whomever created the book than to just simply keep it in the dark as a lore drop of Character A and B interacting in full. And the more I look into it, the more it feels as such. At least, in my eyes it does. And that is pretty normal to have in a universe where lore and world building are as big as this. Little bits and pieces of an unknown culture/society may have written this text to again, as you said, explain the existence of evils and chaos in this universe as there is a means that there are blessings, miracles, etc. After all, the Traveler was always deemed as a sort of god and religious figure of sorts among various species in Destiny. What's to say that other things or entities similar to the Traveler could not be viewed in the same light? Sentient species, by heart, will always want a sort of logical explanation to the unknown, especially when an answer can't be proven or given scientifically or by any means that a truthful answer will make sense to them.

Plus, as mentioned before, if like a religious text and people within Precursor society having issue with what they say or read, it is akin to our society and how we hold religions in general too. The proposed terraformer could either be viewed in light more akin to an atheist or agnostic as opposed to a Satanist if making comparison to human society and its views on religion. But again, we get so little and few lore drops in between that it's really hard to make out exactly what is truly going on in full!

Sadly, people are very quick to jump to conclusions of it being one or the other, but they also tend to forget that some things WILL change in a story line over the course of ten years BUT Bungie does have a plan for a good chunk of their lore and what is connected here and there. And while I myself am still not 100% on what to really think of the whole thing, I like to leave it up to interpretation and make the best of what I can get out of it. And with recent lore drop from Bungie, it does pose a lot of interesting and probable information of Precursor society, though I do have a few knit picks here and there about some of its set up. But that's just me, haha.

Whatever the real reason is behind this lore book, I am sure there is much more than meets the eye. OR maybe it's not that deep and we are being fooled and blindsided by the surprise we may encounter later down the line? And that, to me, is what makes unraveling the lore of this universe so fascinating overall! You never quite know what might happen!

There still is a lot of time to wait between us and the Final Shape! Plus, whatever else happens after that we may get! It's all in the matter of patience.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, anon! Always fun to think and chat on the possibilities of lore!

[kquil]

Hello!! Can I have a 🧁? Thnx!

Soo I haven't done this in a while, lol..

I'm shortish at 163cm, curvy and have long auburn curls and amber eyes. You could say I'm a bit cute, but I'm very insecure about my weight, so yeah. Gods this sounds a bit like My Immortal. Moving on.

I'm an extroverted introvert? Like I prefer being alone, but can enjoy good company every once in a while, and sometimes you'd think I like the sound of my own voice a bit too much? I'm all about knowledge and loveeee socio-economic politics etc. I'm a bit stuck up like that I suppose, kinda snobbish tbh. What can I say, I like good quality stuff, like not cheap and think and awfully stitched synthetic fabrics, it doesn't have to be bloody 100% hand spun and made alpaca wool, but cmon, yk? I grew up with a very strict the-curtains-are-never-just-blue kind of mother (french and flute and ballet, and learning the savoir-vivre front-to-back, the whole she-bang, you know the drill). I'm like her more than I'd like to admit, in more ways than one.

I'm a very autonomous person, and hatehatehate depending on others even for the simplest things. I have a lot of patience usually, but improper behaviour and lack of manners will get a rise out of em pretty quickly. I'm a cat person too.

When it comes to PDA, not a fan. I'm shy when it comes to intimacy, but also think it kinda improper.

Love books, hate how most ppl teach stuff- you could call me an independent researcher at soul, but have quite a bit of biases. (Eg, with barely knowing anything about evolutionary psychology, I essentially called it a useless waste to my mentor the other day. I think my exact words were "it seems a bit far fetched to be truthful")

Yea, did I mention I use a lot of brittishisms? I'm not even a brit, English is my second language, idk what the deal is with that.

Also I'm a slytherin, if that wasn't obvious so far. When i first took a test and it said so, I retook it feeding it the proper answers to make me a raven, because, and I quote, "being ambitious is just being smart about how you wanna live your life". Yeah. Still stand by that statement, just have rejected the hp canon and jkr as a whole in the meantime (her horrid ideas too).

I drink my tea an dmy coffee strong and with no sugar nor milk. I love books, and bodies of water (esp the sea!!!), and thunderstorms and greenery. Also ostentatious rose gardens and glass and wrought iron greenhouses and glass domes on indoor gardens etc. Yes, I have my dream mansion sketched out for when I'm rich ever since I was 9ish. I'll just say I need to be filthy rich because it includes a private groove AND lake. I think the word you're searching for by now is "delusional"

I'm a stereotypical Slytherin I think. Even my all-time fave music genre is a tie between classical and jazz (though I do love rock and punk too)

This is getting too long, so I hope it's enough! Thanks in advance!!!

PS I have two names, the first of which is horrid, but means Sapphire One, and I go by my second, Alexandra. Much too ostentatious to have both of these, I know, but I quite like "Alexandra".

wow! truly a slytherin through and through haha! thank you so much for requesting darling, im sorry it took so long for me to deliver on and i don't know if this is up to your standards but i did my best!

I ship you with sirius black 

i. in actuality, you two started off as enemies and eventually became lovers, growing up together since young from very prominent slytherin families only to be sorted in rival houses instead. it didn’t take until 6th year for the two of you to blossom a romance with each other, it was after reaching an understanding of each other’s personal difficulties growing up that the two of you grew close, slowly growing closer until you made it official. sirius became the person to balance you out and him, you. you both learned to be better people through each other. 

ii. sirius loved how independent you were but also loved getting a rise out of you by being annoying, he loved getting your attention through that, knowing that you loved him too much to really sink your teeth into him, unlike the unlucky people he’s seen get a tongue lashing from you — he is not envious of them. he likes knowing that he can get away with things around you whereas other couldn’t, it made him feel special and, although you knew what he was up to, you always indulged him anyway. one thing you loved about him was that he made you feel so confident and loved, to the point where the insecurities you had of your body and appearance just disappeared because he loved everything about you, every good point, every star quality, every flaw…he loved those about you the best. 

iii. he’s the one who slowly eases you into soft PDA, he knows you aren’t going to be the type to make out in front of people or sit in his lap blatantly when in a group setting but he wants to always be holding your hand or have his hand on your waist or play with your beautiful auburn hair. he loves whispering his admiration for you into your ear when you least expect it as well, some times he’d speak it in french just to add that additional touch of romance to it. 

iv. he understands your love for ostentatious things, the two of you are common in that regard. and, being someone who took pride in everything he did, he was sure to shower you in all the opulence you were willing to receive. at some point in your relationship, he had acquired the perfect balance of gift giving to keep things special between you two without it being too in-the-face of others. he would take you on these really grand dates, get-aways, if you will, where the two of you indulge in all your favourite things as well as his, sharing and making memories together. He wants you to always be surrounded by beauty, because that’s what you deserve and you appreciate him so much for it. 

v. he knows how to make you your tea and coffee and you know how to make his, he knows what books you like to read and the music you enjoy and you know the same for him — the two of you are equal in that you share your interests and act on them for each other. in the beginning, you felt as though your ideal life one day were just delusions but he promises and made those delusions a reality for you. he loved that you knew exactly what you wanted and he delivered on every wish as best he could because he would do anything for his princess

1K MILESTONE EVENT : CLOSED | NAVI.

[iinafarawaygalaxii]

Star Wars the Clone Wars: Bloodline

Welcome back!

Thank you for your patience, I have lots of editing to do with a majority of my works before posting but I am happy to present ALL three prequels to my fanfic SWTCW: Bloodline about my OC's back story and what brought her into the Clone Wars. Any feedback to make your reading experience easier is always welcome! Don't be too discouraging though haha! Im not the best writer but, were here for a good time, not a long time (:

If you havent yet, read this post to give you a summary on the fic youre reading. Its general information and will let you know the warnings in each fic.

Anyways~ Enjoy! Ill be posting the first chapter very soon <3

Prequel i : Freedom

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: A young princess trapped in the claws of royals duties begins to questions her life and her role as a heir to the throne wondering what it truly felt like to be free.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Abuse

Rating: SFW

Notes:

*Baraata- Tiger like creature with 6 legs and is a little larger than a lion on my OC's Planet 

*Maybe a curse word or two?

________________________________________________________

Summer was the best month in Astra and was well known for its crystalized waters and deep blue skies. Even though the planet only has one continent, it houses millions of people with the center of it being... Well royalty. The Capital was her home and she hasnt seen much of her planet aside from the outskirts of the castle in the fields by the edge of the continent. The Castle itself sat on top of a big cliff, leaving little land between it and the ocean. Although she can see the water from her room, nothing beat standing in-front of it. Nothing beat that little taste of freedom and as the waves crashed onto shore, pushing golden sands back to the surface- she stood there with her eyes closed listening to the peak of natures music. Being a princess was no easy feat, in fact, it was challenging. Aside from the strict rules, the training to become an heir to the throne was enough work to tear ones hair out. As she is becoming of age, things only got harder to meet the expectations her parents and the entire planet laid out for her. Her only resolve was being able to come to places like this to escape for a few moments before returning to her cage. What was it like being trapped? Born into a destiny already planned for you?

It was this…

As the castle bells ring, the sound carried itself through the wind, brining both the young princess and her tiger like companion at attention. The Mid-Summers Festival was starting—something her parents anticipated she was in her room getting ready for. It was crucial for the royals to pray to the gods to keep the land bountiful for them and their citizens. Most importantly, it was their responsibility to do it in front of them to maintain faith for the Gods. That's what all of this is for- a show for something that may or may not exist. Either way, she still had a duty. She got up already clothed in her deep blue, lightly hemmed festival gown, patting the sand off her dress. "Come on Sentra.", she whispered to her Baraata, petting the black fur behind the creature's ear that made her hand small in comparison. It was crazy- such a massive carnivores creature, completely untamable, yet the princess of Astra had one herself and only for her. They are peculiar creatures with a wit similar to the people of Astra, which often made them dangerous. However, after being lost in the forest as a child and the Royals believing her death had come to pass- she emerged with the tiger looking creature as her guide. The planet erupted with joy as the prophecy that has thought to be dormant for eons brought itself to life. She was a celebrity all throughout the Galaxy at the tender age of 10 and a symbol for something darker itching it’s way closer to reality. 

With the event that happened to the young princess, the royals decided to take the Baraata in and has been with her every day, protecting her. The King and Queen of Astra, her parents, have been strict with her since then under the assumption that she was not only the prophecy but the next Perfecti, or in broader terms, the next ruler of Astra. Darkness was lurking around the corner and it was something she was prophesied to protect her people from. Something her brother, Sol, was extremely jealous about that lead to a deep seeded hatred for one another. Despite the fact that they were twins- he was technically born first. Which lore and law states thats just how it goes, 'The First Born- Next leader of Astra- Blah Blah Blah'... Either way, it was a responsibility she didn't want anyways and tried to escape that reality frequently. It had only brought her pain and sadness which didn't make for a good ruler anyways, at least... thats what she thought.

"Lets go Sentra-", The creature got up as Vera readjusted the saddle on its back, "Alright big boy-", she hopped on grabbing the reigns, "Lets get me back in time, yeah?", she smiled petting his sweet spot behind the ear. He took a second, plotting his course in his mind before he took full speed in less then 5 seconds. Baaratas are fast, with 6 legs they can reach top speeds up to 160 kilometers per mile which was, lets just say, really fast. She was some clicks outside the city but Sentra could get her there in minutes and as the wind surfed through her hair, he took off through the forest and fields straight back to the castle; both sensing that this day was the last they could be free like this.

-

Most towns and smaller cities around the continent travel to the Capital for such festivities, especially for important events like these. As you could imagine, the outskirts of the Capital were covered with tents for markets, games, and food. It was buzzing with pure happiness. A sense of peace most planets strive for and could only dream of. Everyone was cheerful.. happy- which only meant the rulers have been doing their job right. In their world, the Capital was a haven, a 'place where you could touch the gods' and they spent no expense proving that year by year for generations. I mean, the architecture alone was chiseled by hand in white stone by great architects ages ago. Each and every chisel, down to the finest detail was a story of Astra carved on massive pillars and arches all throughout the city; hidden by beautiful vines that sprouted purple and blue flowers that remain preserved and tended to daily. The Capital was a heaven in its own. 

As the young princess made her way getting closer to society, she patted her baraata gently on the neck, "Slow down Sentra.", Directing him behind a large tree right outside of the castle walls. She threw her cape on and lifted her hood, further concealing her identity from the public. "All right buddy, You know what the do.". The baraata took the necessary steps to remain hidden as he slowly made his way behind and through the tents that were outside of the castle, straight to the great stone wall protecting her foretress. Once he made it through, the princess guided him to one of the towers attached to the castle that protrude out from the walls enough to help them remain concealed while entering the courtyard above. She looked up, making sure the guards weren’t posted in the tower and on their breaks. She looked down to Sentra and nodded, confirming that it was time to enter. He took a few steps back before launching into the air and attaching himself to the Castle walls. He continued running up to the top, making it straight into the courtyard. Despite the busy day, the guards seemed to have lost their touch on security, which worked fantastically for the young princess. "Good boy.", She scratched his sweet spot before hopping off to guide them the rest of the way. As they snuck through courtyard into a fortress of marbled halls, she finally reached her room without being seen. A deep sigh exited her lips as she saw her hallway was empty. It was the perfect time to get to her room. As she stood directly in front of her door checking both ways for guards or maids, she slowly opened the door to her room quickly entering with Sentra before closing the door as quietly as possible. Once they were fully in, she exhaled and put her head on the door, grinning to herself, that yet again, they have not been caught. She was getting better at this. "Thank god", she whispered to herself, "Good thing you can climbs walls... huh Sentra?", before turning around….

She froze- instantly falling to her knees and bowed deeply, forehead to the cold marble flooring, tucking her arms into her chest preparing herself for the worst. "Father Im sorry I-", she began to panic, her heart racing faster than it had ever been before, "Shh!", he exclaimed before getting up to stand in front of her. Each footstep that echoed through the room meant more uncertainty the closer he got and as the steps stopped, she looked up slightly to see his shoes millimeters from her face. "Look at me child", he beckoned reaching his hand out to hers, pulling her up to her feet. She continued to look down trailing over to her mother sitting in the seat, trying to come up with something to calm them down.  "Mother, I-" 

**SLLLLLLLAAAAPPPPPP**

The princess fell down catching herself with one arm, pausing to realize what had happened. She brought her free hand to touch the stinging bruise that was coming on as a tear began down her face. Sentra immediately launched at the Queen only to be shocked in one swift move by her mothers lightening completely incapacitating the Baraata. He fell to the floor falling inches from the Queen with the electricity still making its mark rippling through his body. "SENTRA!", the princess screamed as she cupped her mouth. She couldn't do anything because if she moved... would she be next? Her eyes began to fill with angry tears but continued looking down because meeting her mother and fathers gaze or even moving a muscle would mean an uncertain future for her. Her father kneeled down beside her lightly grabbing her jaw, "If you leave the castle again GenoVera, you will remain here, in this room, for the rest of your life. Do I make myself clear?", The princess could only glare with tears streaming down her face- thinking that maybe dying in the forest would've been better at this point. Between her worries over Sentra and wishing she was never here, she couldn't utter a word. Completely lost in her thoughts as her father gave her a faint reminder by grazing his thumb over her bruised cheek, "Am. I. Clear?", He stated as she whimpered from the pain. She looked up meeting his golden eyes— a fire so scary that it only brought fear when you meet his gaze, "Yes your highness...", She sniffled before he roughly let go. As the King and Queen began to leave, General Cassius who witnessed the unnecessary horror gazed down to her and whispered "I'm sorry..", before exiting with the Perfecti.

She burst into tears and slowly crawled over to Sentra. The heart beat was there, but with her blood racing so much she couldn’t focus enough to wake him up. She broke down beginning to hate herself for not taking the last moment she had to be free. All she could do was cry in an endless song of tears and sadness. She curled up next to Sentra, completely isolated in her mind. Everyone believed being royalty was a good thing but they do not know what happens behind these walls, all it is, is fear. 

She laid quietly, hearing the laughter and festivities creep through her open window- sobbing into her companions fur and as time began to pass, seconds turning into minutes and minutes turning into hours, the sun began to fall and the Ritual... was that much closer.

________________________________________________________

Prequel ii : Fear

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: Genovera Areius, a young beautiful princess of Astra with ambitions well outside her role as royalty. Spending time out in the forests and on the water, she lived a wild hidden life and although the Coming of Age Ritual commencing in only a few hours- She wondered what would become of her and Astra this night.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Violence, War, Death, mentions of Blood

Rating: SFW

Notes:

*Kavanta Koortar is a coming of age ceremony once a royal member turns 14. This happens during mid-summer as its the point the planet is closets to the sun and moon (where its believed the Gods live) 

*Perfecti are the ruling King and Queen of Astra and hold special powers given by the gods to protect the planet and it’s people

*Maybe a curse word or two?

________________________________________________________

Evening fell as the continuous sounds of laughter and drunk civilians echoed throughout the city. It was nearly time to begin the Ritual; The Kavanta Koortar for both herself and GenoVeras twin brother, Sol. Despite the circumstance of what happened earlier in the morning, GenoVera found herself patiently waiting in a beautiful temple; chiseled with archs of Astrian Kings and Queens, that had wings spanning to the high ceilings showing the beauty and pride in their people. The room itself was empty, only filled with a stone altar big enough for someone to lay down, and five statues that surround it that appear to be touching the altar with one hand. These statues were the Gods... 

She stood there, toe to stone at the altar. Alone and in the darkness, tracing her finger along the place when they would lay her to sleep to meet the gods. She scoffed, “what gods”... looking up to the effigies of all five of them circling the altar. She walked up to one of the statues that rest just slightly above the mantle and placed her hand gently on the piece of stone that was reaching out to touch where she was supposed to lay— "Are you even real..?", she whispered with a tear down her face before releasing her hand and falling to her knees, "All of you are the reason for my suffering...", she sniffled, wiping the tears drowning her cheeks, "Is it worth it..believing?", she looked up to the inanimate statue that remained in its position, solid and inattentive. Of course, talking to a statue wasn't going to do anything, but the hope that they were listening or even to give her a sign of their existence was just a small piece of what she wanted- and never got. After standing in silence for almost ten minutes, she gently removed her hand- burrowing in her sadness and began to walk away. 'This is all for nothing..', she thought to herself, making her way back to her room.  

-

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE CASTLE! OUR PRINCE AND PRINCESS WILL BEGIN THEIR ASCENSION!", Cheers filled the streets as a, mildly annoying, repeated message made its way throughout the castle and capital. The civilians began chanting their royals names while attempting to squish themselves around the castle to witness their bounty. Only the High royals and royal decedents, as well at the five powerful lords of the land and the councilmen were allowed to remain in the room, where the ritual took place. Everyone else stood outside in the courtyard, waiting in anticipation seeing their newly blessed prince and princess. Standing close to the alter stood the King, Queen, Sol, and GenoVera patiently waiting for the exact time Sol is supposed to 'ascend' and the moon was at its peak. Standing behind them were their sibilings, third oldest Cersi, fourth Estel, and the youngest Cronos accompanied by, who most of the kids thought of as their father, General Cassius. 

As the ritual began, and because Sol was born first, they laid the oldest twin down on the altar making him drink a blue liquid that sent him fast asleep. As he lay completely motionless, the statues began to glow. Sending a warm humming throughout everyones ears and for Vera it was comforting, it meant something was actually there. No one really talked about how long you were able to stay in contact with the Gods, but after 30 minutes or so of uncomfortable silence the air began to turn cold. Everyone inside the altar-room began to take notice, looking at each other then to their royals. "Something isn't right...", the Queen gazed towards her husband who was glaring maliciously at the altar. Small sounds of thunder and clouds began to fill the sky. "I know...", the King responded. Another 15 minutes passed and they continued waiting for Sols return, when suddenly the lights on the statues began to disappear one by one. This was something that never happened before and left the people in the room speechless. As each statue lost its glow, they began to crack directly across their faces. "Father...", GenoVera said, "Whats happening to Sol...", she pointed to her brother seeing the traces of his veins beginning to glow red, slowly overtaking his entire body. "Cassius take the Queen and the children. Evacuate them from the cas-", the city began to rumble cutting off the Kings orders. Everyone began to scatter, as small pieces of the castle started falling apart. Panic rose, sending people in all directions as a small rumble turned into a violent quake with the thunder turning into aggressive lightening strikes. A downpour of rain started to flood the city making the civilians retreat from the city. The screams started to grow louder and louder with each second that passed when all of a sudden... blaster fire? 

"LEAVE EVERYONE LEAVE NOW!", The king ordered, "EVACUATE THE CITY, EVACUATE ASTRA!", Cassius gathered the children including GenoVera leaving sol and the perfecti behind but before they could leave the room- darkness overtook it and everything turned black leaving only the statues losing their lights. The royals looked around, Cassius holding the 3 kids close while GenoVera stood behind her mother and father. "Im scared...", She whispered, "We will protect you..", the Queen stated brining her close, "Always...", the King added. A lightening strike hit the edge of the large window pane that was overlooking the temple room, highlighting a figure... There stood a man portraying only the silhouette against the violent storm. Each lightening strike only revealed portions of his face, either way no one could make it out who this man was. All they could sense was danger. Silence filled the room as the King and Queen stood in-front of the children and Cassius.

In a room of complete silence filled only by the strikes of lightening and the sounds of pounding rain, every statue except one had faded. Sol began to struggle, balling his fist, trying to bare the pain of what he was going through, "AHHH...ERGG..... AHHHHHHHHHHH!", you could tell he was in pain but GenoVera was so scared she couldn't move a muscle which only brought her attention back to the man before them. The 3 youngest ones began to cry and honestly she was about to as well. She looked at the intruder standing some ways in front of them -  She squinted trying to pin out the details when the lightening struck before he made a small movement; a metal object that fell out of this robe went directly into his hand, the King immediately drew his weapon made of pure black diamond and gold. The man scoffed and laughed maliciously before pushing the button on his device. A red glow began to erect itself from the top of the metal cylinder, a glow so malicious that filled the remaining light in the room with fear. Robotic figures began to infiltrate the space, the sounds clanking against the ground made their menacing red eyes piercing directly into the royals souls, haunting the moment they were in. It spelled fear and they were experiencing everything that word stands to mean. 

The overwhelming amount of... Robots? Plus this mysterious man made the King and Queen think of only one thing, "Cassius, take the kids and get them out of here now..." The king said before dropping his cape and reading himself in battle position. GenoVeras heart was racing. Not only was she afraid of the dark, she was afraid for their lives as the red that was surrounding them in the temple began to close them in. The intruder took his fist steps towards the royals as the king readied himself. "Cassius...", Queen mother said. She slowly turned her head back to them; the strands of her beautiful white hair falling before opening her eyes. What was once honey brown was now gold and glowing much like the statues, only warmer and alive. She had activated the power of the Perfecti, "Go..." Queen mother said. Cassius who has never seen the perfecti's power to this magnitude, at least enough to change their eyes, stood stunned knowing what this meant. He blinked a couple times bringing himself back to reality, picked up the two little ones and ran. GenoVera grabbed Cersis hand running closely behind Cassius looking back and saw her mother mimic the words "I love you"... before releasing an energy surge to disable the intruders allowing them to have a moment to escape.

-

Blaster fire zipped past their ears and everything fell into slow motion. Fires were building up as the smoke began to overtake the city. It was becoming a challenge to see and even breath. Dead bodies were scattered everywhere with burnt holes carved into some chests and others the head. It smelled of bloodied iron and burning flesh crept through their nostrils making their stomachs uneasy. It nearly made GenoVera puke as she covered her nose and mouth telling her little sister to mimic her... tears ran down GenoVeras face as she saw the ones she cared about lifeless and dead from her instructors to maids, they were all...dead. 'Whats happening to us..', She thought to herself trying to dodge while dragging a child behind her. 'How are we supposed to get out of this? Whats even going on? Who..no what are these...things?!', They continued running as local fire became more intense "GENNA YOU AND CERSI STAY DIRECTLY BEHIND ME! FOLLOW MY MOVEMENTS!" She got behind the general following his exact orders to the letter. As they continued through the battlefield of the castle outside in the courtyard, Cassius expertly dodged each laser and GenoVera copying his same movements, "Just like we practiced Genna!", Cassius smiled because he was seeing GenoVeras training actually paid off. She picked up a gun from one of the fallen robots and began shooting sloppily at foes in their path taking firing cover from cassius. They were the ultimate team and although she doesn't know how to work the gun very well they managed to get through the battlefield and behind enemy lines on the path to emergency platform. 

As they continued running GenoVera dropped the gun with her sister still in hand. Since there were no droids she didn't suspect to need it anymore when all of a sudden, Cassius drops directly in-front of them, making GenoVera and Cersi trip. He drops the children and gripped his stomach coughing blood from his mouth. "CASSIUS!!", GenoVera screamed as she began to panic looking down to the wound in his stomach. Dark red was all over his fingers as each heart beat spilled more each thump his heart took, turning his skin pale. "Go take them...", he struggled to say as she looked over to her baby brother and sister knocked out from the fall with laser fire zooming passed their ears. They walked right into an ambush meant to kill the remaining civilians in the castle, just their luck. Many of their soldiers were attempting to fight off the unidentified force but people began to drop one by one as their window of escape began to close. GenoVera couldn't think straight and began to panic, S\she had no idea what to do or expect for what came next. Being a 14 year old rebellious teenager, nothing could've prepared her for this moment. Her heart continued to race as she tried to devise a plan to get ALL of them out of there and to the emergency shuttle bay. She looked up to analyze the situation before more tears began to fall realized how fucked they were. "GENNA!", Cassius screamed, shaking her out of her panic attack. He reached his hand up to touch her face gently trying to utter small words, "Please...Go...", His breaths became more labored, blood spewing out of his mouth before taking his last breath... and as his hand fell, the life in his eyes disappeared leaving the safety of the young royals in GenoVera hands ... The world became still for a moment and GenoVera held him closely beginning to cry hard, unable to control the strangling emotions. The battle still ensued and the screams of her people began to haunt her soul. She closed Cassius eyes and laid him down before wiping the tears off her face. Her broken heart couldn't break any further thus making this moment the first time she closed her eyes to pray, seeking guidance from the gods- swearing to protect her siblings at all costs for she was the last one standing to protect them. 

She looked up and opened her eyes, peering at the situation finding a perfect escape route through the hidden tunnels of the castle. She grabbed a crying Cronos who, thank the gods, was alive and light enough for her to carry. She turned to Cersi who was holding their lifeless little sister, wide eyed and staring at the blood dripping from Estels chest. For what she thought couldn't break anymore shattered, "Es...", more tears rolled down her face as it was getting harder and harder to breathe. She closed her eyes to look away, trying to stop the panic that was coming. She grabbed Cersis hand dragged her to the tunnels leaving her little sister to rest with her beloved general. 

Despite the struggle finding the entrance of the escape tunnels, once securely inside GenoVera led them straight to the Emergency Shuttle Bay that was loaded with one on one battles between the robots and their people. She looked to her little sister and brother, "Okay guys...", wiping the tears from her cheeks, grabbing them by the shoulders, "time to be strong now... we have to be quiet okay??", She said trying to smile and contain the pain that was erupting from deep inside her. The children nodded in return, Cersi copying her sisters movements trying to be strong and Cronos still trying to figure out whats going on. They snuck their way behind the battle placing them directly behind the shuttle. Unfortunately for them, getting into the shuttle was not going to be easy considering the battles are taking place in-front the shuttle doors, however, that was the ship they needed to escape in. "Listen I have to turn on the shuttle and get the auto pilot ready, s.t.a.y.h.i.d.d.e.n", she strictly exclaimed leaving the kids in between 3 crates completely covered. Genna made her way to the opening on the ship hoping and praying no one was inside. She stood behind a crate peaking at the soldiers being overwhelmed by the robots. While noticing she didn't have enough time, she took the moment and ran into the ship, starting the engines. The droids stopped what they were doing to attack the fleeting vessel drawing attention towards her and the kids. She ran back out and signaling Cersi to bring her and her brother trying to take cover from the ongoing laser fire attacking them and the ship. 

There were only a few soldiers left who were being ignored by the droids in their pursue for the young royals giving them the perfect opening to provide cover for the royals:

Soldier #1: "GO PRINCESS....! GO!"

Soldier #2: "WELL PROVIDE COVER FIRE! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Soldier #3: "I PROMISE PRINCESS....WE WILL FIND YOU! HURRY!

The soldiers expertly blocked the laser fire with their swords protecting the royals while the others took to the scaffolding providing areal cover. A small grin crossed her lips, thanking them internally for the opening they gave her. Genna ran to grab her siblings carrying cronos across her chest protecting his head. Cersi ran in first with Genna close behind but before she made it halfway up the ramp, she sensed a laser creeping up behind her. She cupped the back of Cronos head protecting him from any major damage if he got hit and swiftly moved turning to face towards the battle dodging the laser landing directly on her back. She used her free arm to push herself up a little just to watch the last to soldiers fall to their deaths and the door began to close. Genna laid there relieved that they made it. Holding Cronos tightly to her chest. "Okay Cronos...", She took a deep breath sitting herself up, "...were safe now..", a lifeless body rolled onto the floor, no movements of any kind, not even a breath. "Cro....-", she quickly got on her all fours crawling to her baby brother... shaking him violently while Cersi, who was standing directly next to them tightly grabbing the clothes on her chest as she fell to her knees. 

The emergency autopilot of the ship began to take off the rumbling on the ship indicating their exit from the atmosphere, leaving their planet behind and directly in-front of them laid their lifeless baby brother who wasn't even 3 yet. "Cro...CRONOS!!", She shook him violently and began CPR only to see that the wound went directly through his heart. She brought her hands up, feeling the warmth of his blood trickle down her fingers as she began to piece together what happened. She dropped her hands and her head- there was no pain like this. There was no sadness like this, no hatred... and as the two princess drifted into hyperspace they left behind everything they have ever known and became the last of the Astrain bloodline.

________________________________________________________

Prequel iii : Changing Paths

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: Devastation was something that these girls have never experienced- until now. Feeling hopeless and lost GenoVera finds something in herself to make whatever this was- work and now that the whole galaxy knows about the Great Invasion of Astra, the girls are left with a path only they could manipulate to ensure their survival. 

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Trauma, mentions of blood and death

Rating: SFW

Notes:

________________________________________________________

What was it like? Freedom...? Not being chained to the shackles of responsibility? No... Freedoms Pain...

Suffering...

Blood...

WAR

This isn't what she wanted, much less...it wasn't what she asked for. Millions of dead Astrians and being the only survivals of the bloodline to escape, put a huge target on their back. With distinguished looks; white wavy hair and honey gold eyes made it easy for people to target them. They needed to go into hiding. GenoVera... At the tender age of 14, now had a responsibility to care for her little sister and protect her from the darkness that was coming. That thought alone tore her to pieces. Even after the intense training she went through over the years with her father and Cassius, she couldn't possibly keep the any of them safe. Fact of the matter is- both Cersi and Genna were still kids and that thought alone shot through her heart, stirring the upmost amount of uncertainty- making her feel uneasy . She turned on the ships power and glanced over to Cersi sleeping in the copilots chair. 'She must of cried herself to sleep', GenoVera thought bringing her attention back to the ships console. She turned on the auto pilot screen to assess their destination and come up with a plan to conceal themselves. "Alderaan..?", she whispered, remembering the time Bail Organa came to visit with Father. She gave a half smile, knowing that the man they were being sent to was a safe haven and felt comfortable enough with that thought alone to lean back in her chair. She took a glance over at the ETA bar wondering if it really took 3 days to get there. What would she even say? What would he say? What if they don't accept them? Where were they gonna go? "I have to protect her...", she uttered softly and with heavy eyes she glanced over to her sister sleeping soundly, wondering if she was fairing better than herself. Even after all of these thoughts and questions that continue to flutter in her already weakened mind. "why...", she asked trying to seek the answers to her pain.

A single tear fell down her cheeks as she slowly found herself tailing sleep.... back into darkness.

- 

Soldier #1: "GO PRINCESS....! GO!"

Soldier #2: "WELL PROVIDE COVER FIRE! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Soldier #3: "I PROMISE PRINCESS....WE WILL FIND YOU! HURRY!"

GenoVera: "CASSIUS! ESTEL! Cro...CRONOS!"

RUN! RUN! RUN! 

Blaster fire zipped passed her ears and as she continued running the ghosts of her people glowing of gold stood in front of her. She stopped falling just a few feet from them. She looked around  Blood dripping to the floor creating a pool of red. 

GenoVera: "no..."

she shook her head as a line that flowed directly from the pool a blood slowly creeped to her from all directions. 

GenoVera: "no...!"

She continued to shake her head starting to panic, she  took a few steps back and turned around only to see the ghosts of her Mother and Father staring back at her; the same pool of blood itching its way close and closer. 

GenoVera: "No...!!!"

She screamed and there appeared... Cassius, Estel and...Cronos 

GenoVera: "NOOOOOOO...!!!!!!"

She nearly broke her vocal cords screaming at the top of her lungs and covering her ears. She felt to her knees and more images of her people death popped into mind. Tears began to stream down her far creating her own pool of... blood and her body began to shake "Genna!" a soft voice, warm....inviting began to fill her ears. "Genna its me! Wake up!"

"Oh...thats right....", GenoVera said looking up to the ghosts, "Im dreaming..." then proceeded to close her eyes until the warm voice got louder bringing her back to the living. 

GenoVera shot herself up inhaling deeply. Sweat was dripping down her face hearing only her sister repeatedly asking if she was okay and that she was having a nightmare. She looked around disoriented and eyes heavier than the ship itself. She motioned to turn the console on... 

-ETA: 2 hours-

"TWO HOURS?!", Genna exclaimed, "I JUST FELL ASLEEP!!", She quickly got the ship ready to emerge from hyperspace. "Cersi how long-?", her little sister cut her off bringing saddened eyes up to her big sis, "Almost 2 days...", Genna matched her eyes in disbelief and continued to shake her head and apologize for sleeping so long. With a dream like that she never wanted to fall asleep again, however that brought her attention directly to Cersi wondering, "what were you doing while I was asleep?", peering over to the little girl who looked like shes been through a war and then some, "I slept too. I just woke up from a nightmare...", She buried her hands in her knees bringing them up to hug herself as little tears began to formulate in her eyes, "I saw them... All of them- ghosts....of a different kind", she began to weep as Genna came to the conclusion that they had the same dream. She walked over to hug her sister who was now in full tears curled in the copilots seat. This wasn't the Freedom she prayed to the gods for. This was hell. Genna closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. 'This isn't the time to be weak...', She quickly opened her eyes glaring at the universe in disappointment, 'you've failed us'.... Nevertheless- She has a duty now, a new duty. Thus changing the course of their destiny entirely. 

The beeping from the ships navigation systems started to ensue, showing the girls that they are within range of the planet and should drop out of hyperspace. GenoVera placed a hand on Cersi's cheek bringing her face up to meet hers, "Everything will be different now..." Genna looked out the front window of the ship watching them drop out of hyperspace directly in front of the beautiful planet Alderaan. "We get to write our own destiny... and we will get our home back. I promise you.", Cersi looked wide eyed to her oldest sister seeing hope illuminate her presence. She knew with Genna protecting her, everything will be okay. Cersi smiled grabbing the hand that was on her cheek and squeezed it tightly, "Genna... I believe in you." 

-

After Exiting hyperspace, guards who were surprisingly expecting their arrival escorted the two princesses to Aldera, Alderaans Capital City and when the girls broke the news to Organa himself. Even with all the information they divulged he simply replied, " I know...", explaining that an emergency distress message was sent from the Queen herself explaining the situation and what to do thus, the girls journey began. They were fitted for an identification change which included appearance and during that time Organa made a plea to the galactic council to seek asylum on Coruscant but was further denied because of the sensitive information that was brought to them in terms of the man that started this. There was darkness rising and having a target on their back could bring harm to very important people on the home planet of the Republic. Instead of shying away like most of the Republic did, Organa set a plan into motion by having them receive an education in Naboo and to further rumor the galaxy to believe that they are dead. 

Until they weren't.

Next

[thatswhatsushesaid]

rote anon again! i just wanted to talk a bit about the books so far ❤️

right now my favorite characters are verity, kettricken, burrich, and patience (which as a lxc, wq, jc, and jyl fan... can't say i could really expect anything different haha)!

i love verity and kettricken, they're amazing individually but together they just... shine. the kind and wise king (in waiting, technically, but he's the true king in mine and fitz's hearts) and the fierce and noble queen (again... she's the true queen and girlboss)!! they're so beautiful together, i was so happy when they finally talked and worked things out between them 🥲 my blorbos are in love your honor!!!

burrich the tragic bisexual icon. my god. i wish he could just be happy but i fear he's doomed to pine hopelessly for the rest of his life. it's just the kind of person he is... my boy. i want to wrap him in blankets and feed him a cinnamon roll and a black coffee. old man (late middle age, but you know what i mean) blorbos can be so compelling actually

lady patience!!! i was really scared when she first showed up because it's a classic trope, the wife of the bastard's father being resentful and awful towards the kid (madam jin anyone?) but she was so lovely and kind. she truly cared for fitz, she was 100 percent on his side and so supportive and sweet to him. i love how autistic she is about her plants it's really charming! she reminds me of my favorite aunt and i am so fond of her. i want to write fic about her and chivalry falling in love. augh

molly!! molly molly molly... an incredible example of womanly virtue. and i don't mean that in a weird "divine feminine" or tradwife way or anything, it's just... she's a real one, you know? she's fierce and strong and independent and proud and also tender and loving and loyal and responsible and patient and so so amazing. fitz really fucked up when he fumbled her imo. she deserves the best and i hope she gets it!! <3

all the characters, male and female, are incredibly written, as are the relationships between them. robin hobb obviously put tons of care and thought and passion into the characters and the world and how everyone and everything interacts. i can't wait to read the rest of her books!

i never expected to get so invested in a random (and a little bit niche as i understand it?) series that started almost 30 years ago, but i'm really glad i did!! thank you so so so much for putting it on my radar, i'm eternally grateful. i feel like i owe you a life debt or something. i'm going to recommend this to everyone i know and everyone i don't. i'm going to shout it to the world. this series has changed me irrevocably and i'm only two and a bit books in. thank you.

anon, you are REALLY going through it, this is THE quintessential realm of the elderlings experience!!! also re: lady patience oooooh just you wait, if you think you love her now, you're going to love her even more as the story progresses. also i have many, many additional (and complimentary!!) thoughts about molly and how the very best thing she ever did for herself was Move On From Fitz, which is why [redacted spiel about the last trilogy, i will withhold all my thoughts on this subject for now]

please do keep me posted on your read of the series, i'm very keen to hear more!

[butternutrisotto]

18/30

There is one movie that drastically changed my life: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Since I was a child, I loved watching this movie during school holidays. I was captivated by the storyline, but what made me happiest was watching Kevin McCallister explore New York City in the winter. From that moment, I asked myself, "New York is so beautiful. How can I go there?" Everyone told me that New York was far from Surabaya or anywhere in Indonesia. But deep down, I really wanted to go there.

After that, I became diligent in learning English, practicing English grammars or vocabs, and seeking out any opportunities that could help me get to New York, like competitions, student exchanges, and excelling in my studies. However, all I faced were failures that made me sad. But I realized that I was still not ready enough and that my capacity was not yet at the level needed. But that's okay—I kept striving and learning.

From that movie, despite the many setbacks I faced, it became clear that the universe truly hears your prayers and sees all your efforts. I got the chance to study in the United States in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia. I was very grateful, even though the journey was not easy. I was still able to fulfill my childhood dream. With all the effort I put in, I finally celebrated my 21st birthday in New York City during winter, and I was able to explore the city like Kevin McCallister—except I wasn’t with The Bandits, haha. :))

From this experience, I learned to never doubt your dreams. Even if they haven’t come true yet, God and the universe know what you need, how much capacity you have to reach your dreams, and the best time to grant them to you. The bigger your dream, keep walking with God even when the challenges are tough. But behind it all, it will be worth it.

The journey to New York wasn't just about reaching a destination; it was a lesson in perseverance, resilience, and self-discovery. Every failure and every setback taught me something new about myself and what I was capable of. The rejections I faced only strengthened my resolve, teaching me that dreams require more than just desire—they demand commitment, patience, and sometimes, a lot of waiting. I realized that each “no” was not a door closing, but a sign pointing me toward another direction, another opportunity, and another chance to grow.

Walking through the streets of New York on my 21st birthday, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I wasn't just celebrating a milestone of age, but a milestone of persistence and belief. Seeing the lights of Times Square, the majestic skyscrapers, and the snowy parks was like stepping into a scene from my favorite movie. But this time, it was real, and it was my story. It was a moment that affirmed all the hard work, tears, and hopes I had carried with me over the years.

This journey has taught me that dreams do come true, but not always in the way or the time we expect. It’s easy to become discouraged when things don’t go according to our plans, but sometimes, the detours are where we find the most growth. So, to anyone out there chasing a dream, remember: don’t give up. Even if the path is winding and filled with obstacles, keep going. Trust the timing of your life and keep faith in the journey. Your New York moment—whatever that may be—might be closer than you think.