#your love is too strong they’ll kill u

[dragonselkie]

istg every song with cxs and lg sounds like a sad love song

[trollbreak]

Sometimes ur heart is full of. Strong n soft nonbinary. Who’s so in love with the universe

[b1adie]

ur katpee raturine post is making me wonder if aventurine and ratio would even survive the hunger games ? u should become president bladie and host one

I WAS PUTTING A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS IN THAT HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR SITE RECENTLY

here are some highlights. furthermore, i rambled (huge surprise i know)

anyways i love hunger games AUs (i love when characters suffer and die) so i will definitely spend a long time considering this. ive fully written out several with ocs. my first fandom was the hunger games ok i read all three books 11 times so now i have to ponder everything forever

i think aventurine would do really well with getting sponsorships and all that. well liked by the capitol. kind of a finnick type of guy. ratio i feel like wouldnt be as well liked, but still have a decent amount of sponsors since he’s strong and very smart so he’s got higher odds of winning.

okay wait they do kind of have peeta and katniss vibes like not THAT much but the crowd-pleasing good at acting guy and the NOT crowd-pleasing guy who is skilled in survival and not great at acting but unfortunately has to play along with blonde mans act to get ahead. i can see ratio doing that thing katniss did with shooting the arrow at the people supposed to be judging her and sarcastically bowing and going Thank You. For your Consideration. but i suppose he just throws a chalk.

i think a lot of people would want to ally with ratio but he would reject them. makes no sense if they’ll just have to kill each other later. aventurine.. hmm. well like i said he’s well-liked by the capitol which means he’s probably not as liked by the tributes, and considering he doesnt like to show his hand (haha card reference) he wouldnt have shown any skills he has, so no one would particularly have any incentive to ally with him. but. Ough. well. kakavasha. if we made them separate like in the quest and kakavasha was one of the kids that got reaped for the games. well lets not think about that too much or i’ll get sad

ultimately considering aventurine’s luck etc i think he’d make it pretty far and if he DID die it wouldn’t be an accident or a surprise, he’d have set himself up for it to either allow someone else a win, OR spare himself a more gruesome/painful death later. if ratio died i think it’d be an accident. i dont think anyone could actually kill him in a fight, but he could get caught or hit by a trap or he tried to be smart and go out to the edge of the arena but hit the barrier and got zapped. like i feel like it’d have to be somethign small, ONE thing he happened to overlook. but i think it’s obvious neither of them is winning alone. they win together or they both die OR aventurine deliberately sets himself up to die at the very end so ratio is declared the victor. i think that one is pretty likely and hurts in the best way so lets go with that one alright? aventurine eats some poisonous shit or smth in secret and ratio thinks they’re going to find a way to win together until aventurine is like. actively dying and admits what he did. Lol. 😆

[aaronstveit]

suicide ideation tw

as someone who is actively suicidal, its always so...strange? hard? overwhelming? to see people that have lost someone to suicide.

i often wonder if anyone will miss me once im gone. and i wonder if all those people that died from it would be happier if they had kept going.

its strange bc those individuals meant so so so so so much to people but now they r just a statistic. and its conflicting. like i feel like by reducing it down to "this many people kill themselves every year" we r disrespecting all those human lives. and it makes me feel like people dont actually think human lives are precious and important, at least not as much as they make it sound like they believe.

its overwhelming to see someone who still remembers their friend or their birthday after so many years. it makes me feel guilty for wanting to die bc i dont want to hurt people that i love the most.

its just...conflicting and confusing. im so sorry for your friend. but i think he'd be overjoyed to know that u still remember him and his birthday <3

trigger warnings for suicide, suicidal ideation

i was suicidal for several years and for so much time, the only thing that kept me alive was not wanting to put other people through the pain that i had felt. so please believe me when i say that i understand what you’re saying, anon. for years of my life, i was so alone with my sadness because i felt like expressing it or asking for help would be to admit to this deep selfishness about me - like there is anything about wanting to die that is selfish. it wasn’t fair to me and it isn’t fair to you.

i don’t believe in guilt or shame as tactics of suicide prevention, so you aren’t going to find that here. i can’t convince you to want to live, and i wish that i could, but since i can’t, i have no need to make you feel worse. i want to thank you for sending me this message, though, because i know that it couldn’t have been easy but i do believe that we’re all a little better when we say these things and we come to understand them a little better.

i can’t say that every single person who dies by suicide would be happier if they were still alive. but, at the risk of sounding completely corny and unbearable, i can say that they’ll never know if it would have gotten better. I know that suicide is a systemic problem that will never be solved with blasé posts about “checking on your strong friends” and compilations of phone numbers. and i know, logically, that it isn’t really a choice that you make. i’m not going to give you the whole “it gets better” thing because i’m sick to fucking death of it and i can imagine you are, too. but i will tell you that i am 100% sure that people would miss you if you died. i don’t have to know you to know that. even when we feel like nobody cares about us, there is someone who does. every single time.

i also don’t like when deaths by suicide are reduced to statistics, but i will say that every time i see one of those statistics, i think of my friend, and i imagine my pain multiplied all of those times, all of those communities irreversibly changed. to me, and to a lot of people who have lost someone this way i bet, it’s never a jumble of numbers. it is physical, unyielding pain. i don’t believe that there is a lack of compassion or love for other people, i think there is a lack of understanding. it is hard to conceptualize any of it - suicidal ideation, suicide, or the aftermath - without experiencing it. even hard then, often enough.

for the record, i don’t believe suicide prevention is pointless or hokey. i just believe that a lot of people are doing it wrong. the whole “hell” thing, the “coward” thing, it’s all so awful and cruel to people who are already suffering. but again, i don’t need to convince you of this.

i’m sorry this response is so strange and wordy. i don’t want to say the wrong thing, but i’m also not sure there’s exactly a right thing to say. people rarely want to have these conversations and i’m rarely the person they want to go to with it - a lot of people seem to think that the word “suicide” is going to break me in half (it won’t, by the way). all i know is that it’s been nearly nine years and i don’t miss or love my best friend any less for it. i think of him on his birthday and the anniversary of his death and every day between the two. i still message him on facebook sometimes, and i can’t remember what his laugh sounded like, which really hurts me to admit. i don’t say this to make you feel guilty. it isn’t your fault and i don’t want you to feel bad because of something you didn’t ask for in the first place. it’s just the truth. not your fault, not mine, not anybody else’s.

i hope that one day you don’t have this guilt and that you will want to live just for the sake of living. i hope that it really does get better for you, corniness be damned. i hope that you understand that you really are loved, simply by the virtue of being a human being with inherent worth. i love you, and i don’t even know you. i love you because our paths have crossed, however unlikely, and you have had a real impact on my heart. i hope you believe me when i say that.

if you ever want to come back and talk more, about this or anything else, my ask and DMs are always open. come anonymously or not, to talk about grief or guilt or a tv show or anything else on the face of the earth. i am always here, and i mean that, from the bottom of my heart. other people are all we’ve got.

i apologize if i am overly sentimental or ridiculous but i do genuinely believe every word that i have typed here & i hope that they mean something to you 💛

[badnikbreaker]

vi reminded me i haven’t talked about this!  but — ava, her weapons, and her fighting style with said weapons.  this ended up being something of a psychological examination of the rabbit.

ava, like most recruits during the war, used wispons to battle.  she tends to favor the lightning wispon (  with her second choice being an asteroid wispon  ) though would use what was available to her.  post - war, she has personal lightning and asteroid wispons, though continues to favor lightening.

she made some alterations to lightning during the war, and many more after.  her lightning wispon and her grappling hook are even further integrated, and a favourite move of ava’s is to grab someone with the hook, send a blast of electricity through it, then yank them back with the hook so ava can kick or otherwise strike them while they’re stunned.  the weapon can handle a much higher charge than it could before, and has both a ranged and a ‘shotgun’ mode than shoots an extremely strong shot at close range.  and these modifications aren’t all of them!

ava’s a glass cannon — she wants to hit hard, all at once, and does a piss poor job at defending themself.  honestly, even the ‘glass cannon’ moniker might be a poor one; that suggests that, once that glass has broken, the cannon stops working.  ava’s incredibly easy to harm, but WILL NOT GO DOWN — doesn’t matter how much pain you put them through.  you have to damage their body so extremely that they physically cannot stay upright, and even then they’ll still do everything they can to kill you.

the first interaction with infinite was intensely traumatic; he killed literally every person in their town, several in front of ava, including their friends.  he only spared them because he thought it was funny how pathetic they were.  ava regularly experiences flashbacks to that moment, null space constructed a torment of that experience for them, and infinite did the same.  because ava was helpless, too terrified to even scream, she associates being helpless / weak / losing fights with this.  there’s a very strong link in her brain that says ‘weakness / inaction = something worse than death.’

that makes her a wildcard in fights.  she can stay mostly - rational when things are steady, but when badly injured, fighting infinite, or otherwise in an environment where the stakes and stress are higher, ava defaults into This trauma response.  even when not there, the undercurrent to every fight ava is in is that “never lose a fight again never back down again never retreat i can’t be helpless i can’t i can’t ICAN’TICAN’TICAN’TICAN’T.”

(  this, as u can imagine, is worsened in the Bad AU.  )

ava’s known for having little by way of defensive strategy, going all in, being reckless, and never being entirely free of wounds.  their willingness to take wounds that others would avoid — or be knocked down by entirely — makes them an effective fighter, and serves somewhat to lessen the gap in skill between them and the rest of the cast, but also worries their loved ones deeply and definitely worsens their mental health.  in a very real way, ava considers violence being done unto them a given, an inevitability, and thus often opts into violence to at least feel that they have a choice in the matter.  some relevant excerpts from old writing :

“HOW CAN YOU WIN?  HOW CAN YOU WIN?  ...  Ava’s mind whirrs, frantic and comfortable (  only ever comfortable when causing or receiving violence / only ever safe when holding a knife  ) ...”

“But she’s not AFRAID, despite the pain wracking her body.  She’s perversely happy, even.  THIS IS FINE.  THE WORLD WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BREAK HER.  AT LEAST LIKE THIS, IT WAS HER CHOICE.”

“Reclaim violence.  If the only frame of reference you have is the madman who haunts your nightmares that your friends insist on forgiving?  MAKE YOUR FRIENDS HURT YOU.  TURN HURT INTO SOMETHING GOOD.  TAKE YOUR PAIN FROM THE VILLAIN THAT BROKE YOU.  HAND IT TO YOUR LOVED ONES, INSTEAD.”

“The mantra is unforgiving in her mind, sharp like the copper she tastes from her split lip : DON’T LOSE.  DON’T LOSE.  DON’T LOSE.  DON’T YOU DARE GIVE UP.  EITHER STAND UP OR THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE, YOU PATHETIC WEAKLING.”

anyway, the point is — she’s in a bad place, mentally, as far as violence and weakness go.  she loves fighting!  has a lot of fun!  a lot of that enjoyment, though, is a very, very bad coping mechanism.

aside from some specific sub - verses (  looks at ame and aaron and :grimace:  ) it’s safe to assume that, in addition to their wispon, that ava has a number of knives of her body at all times.  they make her feel...safe, and she can experience anxiety attacks if they’re taken or unavailable to her.

[randomthinkerposts-blog]

How to love someone with anxiety

Someone with anxiety is inclined to assume everyone is going to leave. So much so, sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship.

Truth is, they battle something they can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within themselves when it comes to relationships.

First of all, remember they’re worth fighting for.

It might be hard sometimes; there might be stupid fights of scenarios they’ve created in their own head. But more than anything, they’re worth fighting for, if you can fight with them through this, it’ll come back to you ten folds.

The phrase ‘It’s okay’ can never be used enough.

It’s two words. Two words that stop every thought running through their head. And honestly, you can never say it enough. So just say it, all the time, and seriously MEAN IT.

Sometimes you just have to listen.

They’re going to play out these situations in their mind and jump from point A to point B, sometimes you’re not even going to know how they got there; best thing you can do is let them go off on their tangent even if there’s no solution.

Don’t tell them ‘you’re overreacting’.

To you, it might seem irrational. But to them whatever they open up to you about, it’s something that actually keeps them up at night. So just take it as best you can.

They probably won’t sleep through the night.

Whether it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep, you’ll be woken up by them at 3 am as they lay there wide awake. Just hold them close and the comfort in your presence might be enough to get them back to sleep.

Remember it’s not that they don’t trust you.

They’re scared. You say it’s an ex and in their mind they jump to cheating. You say it’s a friend and in their mind it’s someone trying to break you two up. It’s not you and your relationship that isn’t trusted, it’s every worse case scenario automatically playing out in their head, and they hate themselves for it.

Answering texts timely does help more than you know.

You’ve probably noticed they answer embarrassingly fast and they know not everyone is like them but it helps when people understand it. It helps when you say ‘I can’t talk now this is why I’ll text you later’. Silence kills anyone with anxiety. It creates problems in their mind that aren’t even there. It ends in apologies that aren’t even needed. And it adds a layer of stress to their life they wish they could control.

Don’t be mad if they send a double text.

You might turn your phone on to four texts. If you can, remember it’s not that they’re trying to be annoying. They care. They care too much and they know it makes them look bad.

Accept their apologies even if you don’t understand.

Whether it’s a night out gone wrong, a triple text, saying or doing the wrong thing, they’re so observant. They’ll pick up on slightest shift in you and before you even realize u might be upset and they’ll apologize.

Help when you can but know when you can’t.

They would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more than they can chew and they will never admit they can’t handle something. They’ll always say yes and never turn anyone away, in those moments where it seems like they are going to fall apart and break just hold them. Help them if you can but know they’re inclined to not ask for help. They’re used to dealing with things on their own.

Once trust is gained they’ll love you unbelievably hard.

If there is something someone with anxiety is really good at it’s love. If there’s something they’re strong in, it’s their ability to show you how much they adore and appreciate you. It might take them a while to trust you but once they do their capacity to love you will fill you in ways you didn’t know you were empty or even missing something.

Maybe this makes sense for anyone who is dating or wants to start dating someone with anxiety. And always remember: Love breaks all barriers.

[darling-i-read-it]

Ghost

Karl Heisenberg x reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: angst, death, execution, blugering heads in, smut (not to detailed)

Author’s Note: I really ended up liking this one! I hope you enjoy it as well love. I too would simply haunt the hell out of this village.

Requested: by anon, hiii!!! could u possibly do a 2 part karl heisenberg x fem!reader where Y/N used to be the young bride to be yet soon had made the rounds of having an illicit affair with the older and sarcastic bastard that was heisenberg. after being caught, she was executed and now haunts the village and heisenberg is the only one that manages to truly see her when she's haunting and there could be an explicit part but yea! thanks

Summary: the request

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Many Years Before 2021

You didn’t really want to get married. You had been raised to believe that it was something you did so that you could live and if you didn’t you would be poor and die soon. It wasn’t the best philosophy but hey, it was what you had.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, touching your collarbones lightly as your gaze followed the dress.

“You look wonderful,” Celeste, your best friend whispered. She had been married a couple of years before you. She didn’t enjoy it. She didn’t like her husband. You imagined you wouldn’t like yours. You had met the groom to be a couple of times and he was decent enough to be a husband but you didn’t love him, that was for sure. There were so few options in the village.

“You don’t think it’s too much?” you asked, brushing your dress down.

“No, no. You look amazing.”

You nodded a bit and had to look away from yourself. You couldn’t see yourself as a bride. You didn’t want to be a bride. Well maybe one day. But not to him.

David walked into the room and looked at you. He didn’t have a reaction. He just smiled a bit, kind of annoyingly, and moved to grab a book from behind you.

“Doesn’t she look amazing David?” Celeste asked, gesturing to you. You felt kind of awkward standing there as he looked you up and down. You didn’t know what to do with your hands.

“She looks nice,” he said. You deflated a little bit but tried not to show it on your face. Celeste made it very obvious though that that was not what you tell your future wife to be. “I’ll be back for dinner at 5.” He turned and left.

You sat down on the bed, putting your head in your hands.

“I need to go for a walk,” you muttered. “Get me out of this dress Celeste.” ====

You had to make dinner but for the moment you were ignoring your responsibilities. The village, though small, still always had something new to find. You walked on the outskirts, ignoring the people as they went past and just looking around.

You walked past the castle, trying not to look up at it. For some reason you were convinced that someone would come and snatch you away if you looked too hard. You walked past it and ended up at the outer edges of town, on one of the trails.

It started to rain and you hadn’t brought a jacket. Yet you didn’t turn back. You stayed on the path that you were on, never having gone this far before. Maybe part of you was hoping it would lead you out of town completely.

“What are you doing all the way out here kitten?” A voice spoke, making you jump. You looked around, searching for the alluring playful male voice. From behind a tree a man emerged. He was wearing a long coat and hat, his hair stringy. He took off the glasses he was wearing to see you better.

“Who are you? I don’t recognize you,” you said, not sure what else to say at first. You knew everyone in town. Everyone knew everyone.

He put his hand out.

“Karl Heisenberg. Who are you? A local yeah?”

“Yes.” You shook his hand. “Y/N.” He let go of your hand and his touch trailed up to your ear, where he felt the pearl earrings you had tried on for the wedding earlier. He looked down at the ring on your finger.

“Where's your husband?” he questioned.

“I don’t have a husband,” you said, much too harshly. You shook your head a bit. “Not yet anyway.” He nodded, leaning against the tree he had just emerged from.

“It’s dangerous out here, don’t they tell you?”

“Who knows anymore? No one ever leaves,” you said. He nodded, surprised at your candor. “Except you. Or are you not from the village?”

“You have a lot of questions don’t you?” “Can you blame me? You’re the first new person I’ve met in years.” He chuckled a bit and nodded.

“I guess I can understand that.” He gestured to the ring.

“What’s the fiance like?”

“You have a lot of questions about my love life Karl.” You crossed your arms annoyed. Karl nodded a bit again.

“I like you.” The way he said it, drawled out a bit and honestly, made your stomach flutter. You panicked for a second. What was that?

“I don’t like my fiance much. But he has a lot of livestock,” you admitted. “It will help my family.” Your voice sounded ashamed as you said that.

“A girl like you can’t marry for love?”

“There’s no one that I love,” you admitted.

Karl thought about it for a second, looking at you up and down. He had met a couple of people from the village but they were usually too scared of him to stay long, or he killed them for an experiment type thing. But he liked you right off the bat.

“Would you like to see somewhere other than the village?” You thought about it for a moment. He was a strange man who you just met outside of your home. He could hurt you. Or he could help you live your life.

“I would.”

====

Karl took you to his factory. He showed you around, told you a bit about the other Lords but not much. You knew Mother Miranda obviously and he expressed his hatred for her. He was interesting and he made you laugh and feel things.

You snuck away why David went to work and went and saw Karl. He showed you more of his inventions. And he liked to hang out with you. He got lonely, not that he would ever admit it.

You sat with him one afternoon, looking at the village from the factory. It was very very faint but it was there.

“I stole this from my sister,” he said quietly, handing you a lipstick. You took it from him, holding it and twisting it to see the colors.

“For me?”

“No, it’s for me. Yes it’s for you,” he said laughing. You chuckled. You put it on your lips, rubbing it together.

“What do you think?”

“You look great.” He was leaning on the ground, holding himself up with his elbow. You were both looking out a window to nature and the village.

“Thank you very much.” You smiled sheepishly and looked down. Your eyes flashed back to him and he had moved closer to you. You hadn’t even noticed. You leaned down and kissed him.

That.

That was what it was supposed to feel like when you kissed someone.

He sat up, putting his hand on the back of your head and pushing your lips further onto his. You breathed him, you felt him as he put you on his lap.

He liked that the village was in view while he held you to him, as each layer of clothing was shredded. As he felt himself move inside of you, he knew that your fiance was in view no matter how strong. Karl felt your body shake in his hands and knew that he loved you. You loved him, you whispered to him when you were both finished.

He took off your wedding ring with his own fingers. He would make you his own one day, he swore it.

====

“What are you looking at?” Celeste asked. You snapped out of it. Your eyes had wandered in the direction of Karl’s factory, though you couldn’t really see it from there. You looked back at her.

“Lost in thought I suppose.”

“What’s that smile?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“That smile?” You shook your head.

“This is my regular smile, don’t worry about it.” Celeste looked at you for a moment longer, puzzled.

“Are you and David getting along better?” she asked. She glanced down at your bare ring finger. It had been bothering her all day.

“I suppose.”

“Where’s your ring?” The two of you were walking to the market to get some things for the week. You looked down at your finger like you hadn’t noticed it was gone.

“Must have dropped it.”

“You say that like it’s not a big deal!” she whispered, grabbing your arm. “What is going on with you? You’re gone all measures of the afternoon, you lose your ring, you have this dazed look on your face all the time-”

“Nothing is wrong with me Celeste.” You yanked your arm away. “Drop it.” She composed herself, shaking her head.

“Whatever you’re doing, stop it. It’s going to get you killed.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

=====

“Look at this one,” Karl said, shoving a fun new invention in your face. You took it from him and laughed a bit.

“What does this one do?” you asked him.

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted. You laughed, tossing it back to him. Sometimes he just put things together and then found out what they did. It worked for him, that was for sure but someday he was bound to get hurt, you were convinced.

“I have to go back to the village. It’s almost dinner time.” You stood up, brushing your clothes off from the grime of the factory.

“You know you don’t have to go back.”

“Yes I do. Otherwise they’ll think I’ve died.”

“Is that so bad?” he weigned. He grabbed your hand but you didn’t let him hold it. You gestured to the door.

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“Your weddings tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow night. I’ll still see you.” You turned and opened the door. He wanted to call for you to come back but he was too prideful for that. He let you go down the hill with the promise that he would see you tomorrow.

The walk back was as swift as it always was. You were practically bouncing. Your mind wasn’t on your wedding, it seemed so miniscule to you now. When you stepped back into your house the ghost of a smile was still on your face.

At the sight of David at the table, the smile faded very quickly.

“David?”

“Where have you been?” Celeste was standing behind him, her arms crossed, face hard. You looked between the two of them.

“I just went for a walk,” you said but it sounded weak.

“Where have you been?” David asked again.

“You go out up to that factory every single day. You come back...with this,” Celeste said, gesturing to the mark on your neck you hadn't even noticed was there.

“I didn’t give it to you.” David said.

“Hey now,” you said, shaking your head. “I burnt myself, that’s all.”

“Do you know what happens to women who have affairs?” David asked, standing up. He grabbed your arm and held it tightly. “They don’t get married.” He threw your arm down and your eyes went wide.

“No. No no, you can’t....”

====

When you didn’t come back the next day, Karl went down to the village. He just narrowly caught the end of the execution. He didn't even think they did that anymore, let alone to you.

He found your fiance and smashed him with his hammer until David was nothing but dust.

You managed to catch the end of that death.

“Karl! Karl what are you-” You rushed up to him and grabbed his arm, only for it to go straight through him. You gasped, eyes wide. Karl turned around but he was the only one who did.

“Y/N?” He went to grab your cheek and went right through you. He shivered.

“What are you looking at, old man?!” Celeste screamed, kneeling beside David's dead body. Karl turned around and realized quickly that no one else could see you. He wasn’t sure how or why or what had happened but you were dead and he could still see you.

He smashed David's head in once more.

====

2021

“There’s someone in the village,” you said. Karl looked over at you, confused.

“Yeah, there’s always people in the village kitten.” You shook your head, eyebrows furrowed and confused.

“No, everyones been killed or hiding in their houses. There's an outsider out there,” you told him. He took a step to his window and looked down at the village, now torn and broken. You were standing beside him but he hadn’t been able to actually touch you since you had died. You floated around the village, haunting people here and there when they caught a glimpse of you, staying around Karl when he went from place to place. He was the only person to talk to you.

“Ethan Winters?”

“I think so. Granted, I can’t say I’ve ever seen him before. Should you tell Mother Miranda?”

“You’ve known me long enough to know I don’t tell Mother Miranda anything I don’t have to.” You crossed your arm.

“I guess you’re right about that. Want me to go back down and check to see where he is?” you asked. Karl nodded.

“There’s a meeting soon. I imagine it will be about him. Be back soon.”

You nodded and started to go back to the village.

“Don’t go too far,” he called. You waved him away.

“You either.”

[mistletouchunderthetree]

fuck it friday

i was tagged by @messyhairdiaz for fuck it friday, and we are going full fuck it bc i am literally just going to talk about an idea i have but will never write <3

over the pandemic we all had that one show that we binged right? ok. i watched all 40something seasons of survivor for the first time. and yes the early ones were ridiculously problematic but i looked past it for the sake of the drama ANYWAY i was NOT immune to the romance of rob and amber. i ate that shit up. i rooted for them the whole damn season. i did not know any spoilers. he PROPOSED AT THE REUNION i physically gasped out loud. and obviously there will never be another rob and amber bc now everyone knows to split the couples up right away so anyway in this universe rob and amber do not exist (sorry guys) and somehow the show has gone up into 30 something seasons without any couple pulling an amber and rob. and then buck and eddie show up in whatever year s2 was set in. eddie’s from el paso. he’s got a kid and he’s working three jobs and his wife left him but he’s got military background, he can win the fuck out of challenges, his emotional intelligence is through the damn roof, and he needs a million dollars. evan buckley landed in LA and is barely into his first year of being a firefighter and on a call he happens to meet a former contestant who makes the suggestion to him so he’s like what the hell. he’s never watched the show so he binges it and decides i can do that. and they both show up to whatever beautiful beach they’re on that season and buck and eddie end up on the same team and they fucking crush challenges together. at first there’s a little rivalry, they’re both the strong hot guy, they’re dreading the merge from day one bc they both are afraid they’ll be targets, but eventually after a tough challenge eddie compliments buck and from then on they’re always together. buck is the social butterfly and eddie is the strategist. they’re attracted to each other and they both know it but they try to hide it from everyone else. they’re Just Bros. they’re in an alliance with some others on their team but they both know they’re only loyal to each other at the end of the day. they get separated during a team switch up and eddie makes a promise to somebody that if he makes sure buck (loving trusting buck) doesn’t go home he’ll help him out later and this guy makes sure of it, actually convinces others not to vote buck out bc they were thinking about it (they know the merge is coming soon and don’t want buck around for that bc he kills at challenges). it’s not til eddie turns on the guy that saved buck that everyone realizes Oh They’re A Couple They Are Working Together. (obviously there’s been loads of sexual tension up to this point). and now they’re like fuck it everybody knows! they go into the merge as the dudes everyone wants to get rid of quick so they up their social game and wiggle into an alliance and they win challenges left and right (and i think it’s buck that wins the challenge that gets him a new car and when he gets to pick a guest for his reward and he picks eddie, surprise eddie gets a truck! here’s date night! and of course they absolutely make use of date night separated from everyone else). anyway eddie, who desperately needs that million dollars, makes all the dirty moves so buck can still charm everyone bc they realize nobody on the jury’s gonna vote for eddie. but if they don’t realize eddie’s pulling the strings they might just vote for buck (loving trusting charming buck). and yay buck wins! eddie literally packs up as soon as he gets home and moves himself and chris to LA and joins the fire academy. then you know like 9 months later boom proposal at the reunion show! anyway. i’m too stupid to write all the strategy of it and it would be so long and i could never write it but. yeah essentially a survivor rob and amber au is my dream au that i will never write. thank u for your time <3

[ptergwen]

Hi can u do where like arvin grandma takes him to church and he meets a ‘nice’ girl but really she’s kinda like him and he finds her smoking behind the church thanks

angel

w/c: 1.4k

warnings: swearing, smoking, and suggestive themes

a/n: alright i went overboard this is pretty long 😭 sooo enjoy

-

“grandma, do i really have to-“

“you’ll come say hi to her. she’s a real sweetheart, arvin,” emma pats her grandson’s hand, which she’s leading him by through their pew to yours. she’s been gushing about you all week.

your parents and her ran into each other while buying groceries, and they spoke for a bit. about upcoming town events, about the heat, about their families. you and arvin of course came up. judging by how lovely your parents are, emma had a feeling you’d be the same. that sparked her idea to introduce arvin to you.

she likes the thought of arvin hanging around a nice girl. she’d wanted the same for her own son, although it didn’t quite work out. it’s only a matter of time before she’s pimping lenora out to a pearly white smiling church boy.

“you say that about everyone, grandma,” arvin sighs, lighthearted but with a hint of annoyance. he’s not so sure he’s into nice girls. or, that nice girls would be into him. no offense to you because his grandma has been talking you up, and you do sound great, but maybe not for him.

emma puts on her best smile as the two of them approach you. “just say hi, won’t you? give her a chance.” “alright, if that’s what you want,” arvin mumbles back, running his now free hand through his hair. your mom gasps in pleasant surprise. “oh, emma. wonderful to see you again,” she greets, you and your dad standing up so she can get over.

the women hug while arvin stands there, disguising an eye roll for a look up at the ceiling. you squint at him and smirk to yourself. you’re intrigued.

your parents had mentioned something about you meeting a boy, your mom more enthusiastic than your dad. he wasn’t too on board with it. he’d said the “russell boy” had a reputation, said he was rowdy and whatnot. that was meant to scare you and your mother off. she dismissed it, and your interest was only piqued.

“yes, dear, so wonderful,” emma agrees, grinning at your dad over your mom’s shoulder. he takes a step towards her, making small talk. “how’s it going?” you watch arvin while the three of them catch up. he’s got his hands in his pockets and a clenched jaw. he doesn’t look particularly thrilled to be here. not at church or in your pew.

you snicker at him, and he snaps his head in your direction. the movement is sharp, yet somehow subtle. you’d been expecting the kid to bounce off the walls from how your dad described him. he actually seems pretty quiet. intimidating, yet quiet. it’s hot.

arvin catches a small smile from you. he nods in response, then shifts his attention back to his grandma when she nudges him.

“remember i was telling you about my grandson?” emma asks your parents, both of them affirming. she glances over at you. “this is arvin.” “hi, nice to meet you,” he drawls and extends a hand for your mom and dad to shake. your mom keeps it short and polite. your dad does it with a firm grip, one that arvin matches.

“strong boy,” he comments. “oh, you think so?” arvin jokes back. that earns a glare from your dad, who perceives it as him having an attitude. you take it upon yourself to say hi to arvin next. one, because you aren’t liking the tension. two, because you want to.

you step past your dad so you’re in front of arvin. “i’m y/n,” you say with another smile. “arvin. nice to meet you.” he sticks out his hand again, which you ignore, going straight for a hug. he’s not sure where that came from. either way, he hugs you back by your waist. you lean in to whisper in his ear.

“you wanna get out of here?” he’d fucking love to. he already promised lenora he wouldn’t sneak out of service again, though. “can’t. my sister’ll kill me for it,” arvin murmurs back, you pulling out of his arms. he finds himself disappointed by the absence of your body. your parents and emma are back in their own conversation, so you can speak freely.

“aw, cute. you’ve got a sister. you listen to her?” you’re teasing, a glint in your eyes. you don’t seem like the sweetheart his grandma made you out to be. arvin likes that. “she’s a...” he lets out a breath, trying to come up with a way to describe lenora’s love for church. “you know, this stuff’s important to her.”

“not you?” you wonder, clasping your hands behind your back. “nope. i reckon you’re the same,” arvin hums and scratches his gelled hair. “listen, how about i meet you out back later? nice girls go to church, don’t they?” he throws the last part in to flirt. you pick up on it, poking at his chest and lowering your voice. “who says i’m a nice girl?”

“come on, y/n/n. service is about to start,” your dad interrupts, taking you by your wrist before you can protest. “see you later,” you call to arvin. “yeah, see you.” he grins as him and emma walk back to their pew, where lenora is anxiously waiting for them. they’ll grill him about how he likes you later. right now is the lord’s time.

your words ring in arvin’s head the whole time the reverend drones on about whatever he does. so, you’re not a nice girl. he can’t wait to find out what that means.

when the service ends, lenora and emma line up to speak with the reverend and everyone else waiting. arvin sets off to find you. you’re the only two not still in there, so it shouldn’t be hard. he heads out the back door because he doesn’t want anyone, meaning your dad, to see him.

you’re leaned against the building with a cigarette between your fingers, puffing out a cloud of smoke just as arvin spots you. your lips turn up in a half smile when you take another drag off of it.

“there you are,” you speak, words muffled from the cigarette. you retrieve a box of matches from the waistband of your skirt and dangle it before him. “need a light?” you’d noticed a pack stuffed into his jeans earlier. he’s not so good at hiding them, if he was even trying to. you could teach him a thing or two about being more lowkey.

arvin pulls a cigarette from his pack and shoves it into his mouth. “didn’t take you to be a smoker,” he rasps as you strike the match up, bringing it to his cigarette. you then throw it on the ground and stomp it out with a knowing smile. “i told you, i’m not what you thought i was. whatever my mom told your grandma.”

“mm,” he confers, breathing in and taking the cigarette from his mouth to exhale. “heard you were a straight a’s student. you’re in lots of clubs and all that.” you scoff, bringing your own cigarette to your lips again, further blurring his good girl image of you. “when i cross out the d’s and lie, sure.” arvin chuckles at that and leans back against the stone wall.

“you’re not like your family one bit, huh?” he already knows you aren’t. “nope. i think they’re the reason i’m like this, anyway,” you admit, fingers innocently circling over his bicep. innocently. “i’m doing the whole rebel without a cause thing.” your hand squeezes at his arm, waving out your cigarette and dropping it in the grass.

“what about you? my dad said you’re a fighter.” arvin clears his throat and looks down at your feet. they’re moving, closer to him. “sometimes, for my sister. i was tellin’ you she’s different from the other kids. they pick on her.” that gives you a new sort of admiration for arvin. you thought he was cool, now you think he’s also kind. he thinks you’re... beyond words. in a good way.

“sounds like you’ve got a good heart to me.” you press your fingers into his skin, this time with a smile that’s sweet. he isn’t sure if he prefers this one or the one that has something sinister behind it. “well, thank you,” arvin drops his hand to your hip, adding on, “angel.” he’s well aware of what he’s doing by calling you that name. you click your tongue.

“angel? mhm, i’ll change your mind about that.”

[animehideout]

Hi, how u doin'?

Well, so I thought of this: reader was an UA student and she was in class 1-A with everyone when Bakugou was kidnapped — and so was she. But, for some reason, only Katsuki was rescued by the heroes that night and no one could find the poor reader so they thought she was dead. Years later, however, she shows up out of the blue but with a little surprise for her former friends; she's now a villain and best friends if u know what I mean with Dabi.

Love your writing! ♡

a\n : here's your request I hope you enjoy it and thanks for requesting <3

Title: Cursed Touch

words count: 3615

warnings: angst ending

Ps: sorry about the mistakes it's because of the keyboard and because i type then i delete or change somethings.

Check out happy ending here 💙

How does it feel to be the unlucky one getting kidnapped by the League of Villains ? honored because you present a threat to the villain or scared because you may not make it alive. “At least I have Bakugo with me” you said to yourself then shook your head “I shouldn’t rely on others, not this time” you thought. You’ve been always insecure about your abilities, about your quirk and the way you fight. Of course you want to be the number one hero one day but you’ve always underestimated your potential, you thought that you don’t stand a chance when Shoto Izuku and Bakugo take all the light spots. Your quirk is dangerous you can make someone suffer physically, you can both increase or decrease the pain depending on your emotions and all of that happens when you touch your target. You’re still learning how to control it so you don’t activate it at the wrong timing in order to not harm innocent people including your friends and teachers. Well about your friends you don’t really have them, let’s say only a few people including Izuku and Uraraka. Both of them treat you nicely and believe that you’ll be able to control it one day. However others, they’re either scared to approach you( because many accidents happened in the past) or bullying you Bakugo and Sero they call you cursed touch. You hated the fact that they’re the reason to you being insecure all the time but you still tried your best to be a hero. “I’m warning you for the last time you know that the heros will arrive soon ! THEY’LL CRUSH YOU ALL” said Bakugo smirking clearly not scared of any of the villains gathered in front of you both. “calm down explosion boy, we only want to talk both of you will miss great opportunities if you don’t join us ” said Shigaraki giving Dabi a look. Dabi nodded and approached you “c’mon let’s take you somewhere else” in contrast to Bakugo you were clearly terrified, Dabi gave you soft looks guiding you to another place. “ LEAVE HER ALONE “yelled Bakugo standing up from his seat only to receive a punch “I said calm down we only need to separate you” “Y\N I’LL SAVE YOU I PROMISE” you looked at Bakugo tears gathering in your eyes but you tried to hold them back “ save me from who Katsuki huh? From you? What makes you different from? Villains harm others physically but who damages others mentally huh? YOU DID !” you screamed , you’ve never liked Bakugo, at first you were excited you wanted to be friends with all of them but they only pushed you away you grew hating on him because of his harsh words that pierced holes through your heart. “I hate you Bakugo but I promise I’ll be able to save myself so no need to help me” you added, he only stared at you blankly, did you really just say that? Did his words really hurt you that much? Shigaraki looked at Dabi both smirking , the hate inside you is able to turn you into a villain. You walked your way through the hallway with Dabi turning your back to Bakugo. Thoughts rushed in your mind, did you do the right thing by saying that? Will you be able to save yourself? You were busy thinking when Dabi spoke “ Do you hate him that much?” you ignored him “ it’s okay to feel that way, sometimes hatred is not a bad thing because it unlocks a strength in you “he added, you looked at him frowning “are you trying to comfort me?” he chuckled and said “well let’s say I felt the same way a long time ago” “huh what do you mean?” “I mean when I expressed my hatred toward someone, I felt free and strong because I faced them” you looked down realizing that you actually felt free the moment your harsh words left your lips, “I don’t why I-“ “why you let them inside for a long time and didn’t face him sooner ?” you stared at him in shock you were about to say the same words “h-how did y-you know?” “because we feel the same *he smiled* and I assure you it’s was the right moment it’s because of the accumulation of feelings or bad ones to be specific” you nodded and looked down, “his words make sense” you thought to yourself. “where are we going now?” you said breaking the silence once again “ hum a more private place

so we can talk” “why didn’t we talk there?” “because you and Bakugo have different mind sets he’s blinded by the idea of being a hero” “I WANT TO BE A HERO TOO” you yelled and stopped walking “hey hey relax, being blinded by something is actually a bad thing cause it makes him neglect greater opportunities! oh here we are please sit so we can talk “ “don’t ever try to convince me because I-“ “please just listen to me first then I promise I’ll let you choose your destiny” “huh? You’ll set me free?” “y-yes I will” “is this the plan of the very know League of Villains?” “the thing i-ss that it’s m-my plan! They don’t know about it” “and what if I’m not convinced and run away what would you tell them” “they already know your quirk and how powerful it is so no one can blame me” he said avoiding your eyes. Your eyes widened are you really that powerful does he mean that you’re actually stronger than Bakugo. That was all what you can think about. Not gonna lie but his words boosted your confidence, no one made you feel confident before all of the other made you feel weak and passive . you hesitantly asked him “do you think i would surpass him?” “you are already! That’s why others are bullying and avoiding you because they know you’re better than them” said Dabi giving you a soft smile, you smiled to yourself no one appreciated you this way before, not even your family “then why do they win and I lose?” “because of fear, they made you think that you’re not able to win to the point that you started doubting your quirk” “it was their plan from the beginning” you said “ I really hate them” you whispered “ did the teachers try to defend you once?” he asked so you shook your head in disappointment “ they only gave me pitiful looks that I don’t need I know they instructed me to how to control my quirk bbut- “ “some people are not meant to be heroes “ he said and topped for a moment approaching you and grabbing your hand “ because they’re meant to be something greater that would lead them to glory “ he added squeezing you hand “w-why are you doing this? Why are being good to me?” you said your eyes not leaving his , he looked away and said “b-because I can relate to you I feel that we’re connected in some way” “h-how?” he took a deep breath and added “because I like you (y\n )” you looked at him in disbelief “please don’t lie to me! Why would you like someone like me? Besides we just met! “ “no maybe you just met me but I feel like I know you very well it’s like you’re a reflection of me, I can relate to your pain , your anger and hatred besides I appreciate you and your quirk you’re really strong and special and that’s catchy ” his words shocked you as much as it made you happy. It was the first time someone holds your hands without being scared of your ‘cursed touch’, it was the first time someone calls you strong instead of ‘so damn weak’ and it was the first time someone confess to you. It was all new, and you liked it. Dabi pulled his hands “ I won’t force in anything, if you choose to leave I’ll make sure to the villains away from you even though I know that you’re able to take all of them down “ he said and looked away sad expressions drawn on his beautiful scarred face “ but I really hope you don’t miss your opportunity to shine” you bit your lower lip, it wasn’t easy for you to take a decision especially under such circumstances. What if Dabi is lying to you? But he’s the only one who made you happy after all this time but his expressions were convincing and why would a cold villain like him act vulnerable in front of you. You took a few steps towards him and finally said “I’m in” his eyes immediately lit up and hugged you tightly “thank you for trusting me , I promise you’ll never regret this” you pulled away “ a-about your feelings-“ “it’s okay take your time I’ll wait for you” he said smiling again. *meanwhile* “sensei what about her?” said Bakugo worriedly “ don’t worry young Bakugo we’ll find her and bring her back safe” “what if that bastard kills her? I would never forgive myself” “shh young Bakugo she’ll be safe and

we need you to be safe now go and join your friends they all rushed to save you” he nodded a left that place joining Deku, Kirishima and the others then went to the dorms. “if something happens to her I would never forgive myself even if she forgives me” said Bakugo to himself wiping a tear. Two weeks passed and none of the heroes could find you, they searched everywhere but for nothing, there’s no trace no hint of you. Everyone started losing hope of finding you and started spreading rumors of you being killed by the League of Villains. Meanwhile you were working on your quirk with Dabi. He helped you a lot and took care of you all the time. The others treated well too but you only trusted Dabi, he was your safe place. He made everything much easier . and comfortable and you were slowly falling for him without realizing it. You were busy with him and Shigaraki working on some plans for your next target when Toga entered the room laughing and “ haha(y\n) they really thought we killed you” all of you looked at her “huh what do you mean?” “quickly turn the TV on” ‘A UA student kidnapped and killed by the League of Villains’ said the host ‘is the UA still able to create heroes? Because apparently your students aren’t even able to use their quirks to defend themselves’ asked the host looking at All might ‘ and why didn’t you search the whole city?’. Your face dropped did they really give up on you? did they really thought you’re weak and unable to defend yourself? Are you a disappointment? when Dabi noticed your sad face he quickly shut the TV before hearing All might’s statement . “ don’t mind them they’re wrong and they’ll regret it” said Shigaraki. You couldn’t face anyone especially Dabi so you left the room before breaking down into tears. “ ah Dabi you should teach her the villain spirit as soon as possible we can’t handle emotion here” exclaimed Shigaraki in annoyance. Dabi left the room to find you. He found you on the rooftop crying “(y\n)!!”you quickly wiped your tears but you couldn’t hide the redness and the puffiness “and managed to say “I hate them all” , “c-can I hold you?” said Dabi sitting next to you, you sniffed and nodded getting closer to him. His arms strongly held you to his chest, he played with your hair to help you relax a bit “you’re so good to me” you said out of the blue “ I can’t thank you enough” “ hey hey listen! They’ll regret what they said, they’ll regret underestimating you. All of them that host , your teachers , your classmates…they’re not worth your tears because soon you’ll make them cry in pain” he said proudly. At first you opposed the idea of causing serious injuries but after seeing the rumors and people’s reactions you realized that who you thought were innocent in the past are now you’re enemies “yes I will”you said as you tightened your grip around Dabi’s waist. The sun was setting and the breeze was refreshing everything was perfect especially you being in Dabi’s arms. You realized how much you needed this feeling in your life, how much you are touch straved and how much you needed only his touches. You pulled away and said “I’m sure I can do this Dabi I can make them suffer but I want you to be by my side…a-always” he grabbed your chin and looked at you, you got lost in his eyes “Dabi I love you” without hesitation he kissed you, his lips were soft sucking on your lower lip. You closed your eyes giving up to the sweet feeling, his hands rubbed your waist up to your chest and landing on your neck pulling you even closer. Your hands are lost in his hair tugging the soft strands. The kiss was passionate it was a mix of love, anger, sadness, happiness. Both of you finally pulled away breathless, breathing heavily and looking deeply at each other “wow” he said you blushed at his reaction “s-so we’re together now?” you asked playing with your hands “yes we are..and we’ll forever be” he answered flashing each other bright smiles. Months passed and you’re getting more and more into the villains’ work, you quickly learned all the rules and started thinking like them. Your

relationship with Shigaraki and the others got better and you put a bit of trust in them. You helped them setting evil plans like robbing places, kidnapping hostages and threatening people but you never showed your real identity you kept it for the big day as the other villains call it. The day where all of you will break into UA and set it on fire including all the teachers and students. You used your quirk perfectly actually it is more powerful. Training with Dabi improved your skills a lot “tch stupid teachers they didn’t see potential in me they only focused on that idiot Bakugo and Deku, now I can lift them and their audacity” you said to yourself wiping the sweat. You committed a lot of crimes along with Dabi, you were the badass duo pairing up together on each mission taking down people together, robbing and setting places on fire. It’s been a year now and tomorrow is the big day, after a lot of training after many tears whenever you remember your old self but also after many happy moments with your partner Dabi after many nights spent together feeling each other up, he made you feel like no one else on this planet finally you were ready to take down the place where you hoped to be the number one hero one day but look at you now. You looked at your reflection in the mirror and said “ you can do it (y\n), you’ll show them who’s the strongest “ a said smile drawn on your face, will you be able to hurt people that were a big part in your life? You were again spacing out when Dabi tapped your shoulder “we’ll do it together” you nodded then both of you laid on bed trying to sleep before starting the big mission. *In the morning* Dabi pecked your lips “ you’re ready babygirl?” “yeah”. You’ll be the first one to get into UA then you’ll help others to get in. you waited until everyone gathered then entered, the security guard was shocked to see you “ hello”you smiled “ long time no see “ he approached you to shake your hand “oh my god It’s nice to see you again (y\n) tell me what happened” “I’m sure you’ll know very soon sir” you smirked shaking his hand making him fall on the ground growling in pain he held his knees to his chest “please s-stop” “ I can’t I’m too lazy to inactivate my quirk” “p-plea-“ but before he can finish it he fainted. You’re quirk was too unbearable. You sent Dabi a message informing him to get in. Now you’re in the center of the school, you took you’re hood off and said “HELLO EVERYONE” everyone looked at you in shock. After a year? You came back? How did you escape the villains? Everyone rushed towards you hugging you “so now they’re acting like they care” you said to yourself while flashing them an innocent smile ”(y\n)”said Bakugo “you’re alive! “ he added and rushed towards you giving you a warm hug. You would be the happiest if they did that before, if they cared before, but it’s too late now. You waited for the right moment to affect them all with your quirk “young (y\l\n)” said All might rushing towards you “are you okay? I’m so proud of you! you fought alone” he added “glad to see you again” said Aizawa. “yes I’m okay, I’m alive” you stopped for a moment “ but soon all of you will be dead” you added giving them a cold stare, in less than a second everyone was on the ground hissing in pain most of them started crying begging you to stop “p-please!” “HELL NO I WONT STOP DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN I FELT WHEN I WAS A STUDENT HERE? ANSWER ME! HAH OF COURSE YOU WONT CAUSE YOU NEVER CARED” you said then the other villains joined you “ good job (y\n) !” exclaimed Shigaraki “what?” said Bakugo “h-how ? how could you do that? You joined them? You forgot about your friends and teac-“ “you did Bakugo! All of you did! Why are you putting all the blame on me huh? You didn’t even bother looking for me, I’m sure you didn’t even cry over the stupid rumors, and now enjoy mu ‘cursed touch’” “no we did all of us did” said Deku through pain, your heart ached a bit at his sight he was the only one beside Uraraka who treated you well. “ young (y\l\n) your friends spent days and nights looking for you they never

gave up on you, they all had hope that you’re alive , especially Bakugo they even encountered many of who you consider now friends ” you doubted his words a bit “then how come I didn’t know about-“ you stopped when you realized you looked back at Dabi and the others “ you knew about it?” “TELL HER YOU SCARRED FACE YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU KILLED HER”yelled Shoto “D-dabi? “ you looked at him in shock “w-why didn’t you tell me? You said that you’re not keeping secrets from the person you love” you said your voice cracking “WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME DABI?” “are they dating?” said shoto in disbelief , everyone trying to process the situation through the pain you planted in their boodies “haha person I love?” laughed Dabi “it’s not the first time lying to you babygirl you were too madly in love with me to be blinded like that”he added in an offensive tone you took a step towards him “D-dabi what do you mean? I thought you loved me you said I’m too special and-“ “and you fortunately believed it” “poor girl” said Shigaraki “you expect him to love a desperate UA student?” “your quirk is too powerful too strong that we needed it so bad” said Dabi “and after committing many crimes that we longed for and after reaching this point you’re useless” you stared blankly you hated the sympathy looks that you received from the teachers and students “I’ve never loved and I’ll never will such a fool *looked at you coldly* you really expected a villain like would love a stupid UA girl like you “ “how dare you?” you said in tears “I lost my friends, teachers and dream to be with you-“ “trust me even if you stayed at UA that lame dream of yours would never be achieved, you have the strongest quirk yes but you don’t have the potential, you’re too naïve to the point that we abducted you cause we knew you’re an easy target, easy to manipulate…villains hacks“ he laughed earning laughs from the others , at this point you tried to slap to Dabi but he dodged you making you fall on the ground “Not gonna lie that I had my fun with that delicate body but overall it was the worst year of my life ..stuck with you”. The effect of your quirk decreased, it was guided by your emotions and at that moment you felt weak and broken hearted. Eventually your quirk was inactivated; your body couldn’t handle or control it. The teachers and students were finally able to stand up and the fight began between the Heroes and the Villains. Everything around you moved in slow motion. You stared at the blurry scene in front of you because of all the tears. You collected yourself and left them fighting not able face the people you betrayed and not able to hurt the man you loved. You left everything behind trying to forget about what happened. You realized that you’re not meant to be neither a hero nor a villain you can just be a broken fool who believed a big lie called love.

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Can u write a part 2 where bella and edward flip out on finding out she's married to snape and renesme is like yay go big sister and snape is nervous about meeting the cullens after the battle of hogwarts

Hello dear 💖 as per requested here's part 2 of the fanfic. I hope you enjoy it 😊.

Snape X chubby vampire reader🧛💖

Until the end pt 2💖

"Since the incident I’ve grown a lot, my parents may not know about our secret marriage but I’m sure they’ll accept it somehow…”

Y/n helped Snape up to his feet and began to walk back to Hogwarts. She wanted to write a letter to her parents, Snape needed to heal, and she didn’t want to leave his side. “Hold onto to me tightly, I’ll get us out of here as fast as I can” without warning y/n ran as fast as she could out of Hogwarts to the Cullen’s house. Y/n was quite a fast vampire, the benefits of being a hybrid can have it’s perks. “Where are we going” Snape tried to utter out “shh rest we shall be there in a minuet”. Y/n wasn’t used to bringing guests over to her parents place when suddenly Renesmee came to the front door.

“Y/n what are you doing here” the young hybrid questioned, “Renesmee are mother and father home”. The young girl shook her head “no but who’s this man”. Y/n didn’t have time to answer as she sets Snape down on her bed “rest my love you need to regain your strength”. Renesmee wouldn’t take no for an answer “Who is he, if he’s mortal were in danger” she shrieked. “Calm down he’s my…. husband” Y/n sighed. “Wait what” Renesmee had a giant smile on her face “aww you found your mate” she comes up and hugs her sister. “Yes, but mother and father can’t know, or they may kill him” Y/n was protective of Snape he was the love of her life, and she couldn’t let him go. Speaking of which the two girls heard a “THUD” at the front door.

“Y/n your home” Bella smiled, she came up and hugged her own daughter. Edward came by and wrapped his arms around Bella “We’re glad your safe y/n”. “y-yeah erm actually” suddenly the two heard a groan coming from y/n’s bedroom. “Y/n stay here” Edward sneers and ran straight to the door “Bella be careful” Bella smiled back “I’m always careful”.

“y-y/n” Snape weakly spoke out, “Who’s this man y/n” Bella replied shocked. “Did he try to hurt you” Bella ran over to y/n acting worried. “No mother he’s my husband” Y/n pleaded, “WHAT?!?” Bella couldn’t believe what she heard this man was married to her daughter. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER!” Bella hadn’t felt this mad since Jacob imprinted on Renesmee. “Bella calm down” he watched as Bella grabs the mans neck. “No mother please I love him dearly” Y/n pushed her own mother back and hovered over Snape. Edward asks, “Where did you meet him”, Snape muttered “Y/n I’m sorry”.

“I saved him he, he was dying” Y/n had tears pricked up within her eyes. “Mum, Dad please what she speaks is the truth” Renesmee held out y/n’s hand so she could show her memories. Y/n touched her parents and showed them her memories from when she was born to when she met him. “I can’t believe you never told us” Bella felt bad but at the same time she calmed down. “Yeah, my sister is strong, she would never date anyone who would betray her” Renesmee hugged y/n. “alright as long as he doesn’t hurt you” Edward held Bella’s hand. The two left the bed room as Renesmee followed her parents.

“I’m sorry about my parents they can be quite protective of me” y/n whispers. “I’m glad your alive my love” y/n kissed her husband before feeling hands wrapping around her. “I’m glad too” the two spend the whole night holding each other in bed. “To be fair I was scared to meet your parents I thought they would kill me” Snape admitted since Bella and Edward were going to kill him out of defense. “They know the truth, they admire you for your bravery my love” y/n kissed his cheek.

The two were mates to be in a life of vampires and magic.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta 💫

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

[keilemlucent]

i am your salvation

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

word count: ~13k

For years, Keigo had trained his body, fucking perfected it’s abilities. Every part of him was honed and forcibly designed to be the winged-hero, Hawks. But, now? He was the defunct number two, ‘Hawks’ and at home— reality? He was the comically broken Keigo Takami who struggled to do basic physical therapy.

Only you know him like that.

warnings: manga spoilers, suicidal ideation, abuse, ANGST with a capital A, just sad :^(((

this piece is hellish, enjoy ;^))) beta’ed by the lovely @keiqos, bless u

----------------------

Keigo was fucked.

He was so beyond fucked.

He was dead.

Basically.

He was half-alive in a hospital bed. An IV drip in each arm, pumping him full of god knows what. He didn’t care to ask. All he knew was that he fucked up.

He’d gotten sloppy.

Stupid.

Pompous. 

And now his wings were fried off his back.

(By fucking Dabi no less.)

 The first conversation he’d had with his doctor upon waking at the HPSC hospital was one where he legitimately contemplated suicide for the first time in a long while.

  “Hawks... There’s no good way to say this. There just isn’t,” The doctor began, looking through Keigo’s chart, sighing deeply. There was something so grave about the way he moved through the sterile hospital room.

The doctor handed him a handheld mirror. 

Hawks slowly raised it up with weakened arms, knowing what he’d see. 

A gruesome burn tore down the left side of his face. It puckered the skin around his eye, narrowing his field of vision (thank god he still had any vision at all). The soft flesh around his eye was so angry and blistered, pockets of puss gathering beneath the surface of his skin.

But what was worse than the scar, so much fucking worse, was the absence.

The complete absence of his wings.

No stubs, no nubs. Just nothing. 

His back ached against the hospital bed as he handed the mirror back to the doctor.

The doctor sighed again. He spoke to Hawks like he didn’t think the hero already knew what he was going to say, “Your wings are gone. Fully. The scans we’ve taken show that the... well, roots of them in your flesh are still present, they’re encased in scar tissue. Even the sections that the feathers grow from are cauterized. In our professional opinion, we don’t think that they’ll ever grow again.”

His heart fell in his chest. 

It fell so deep.

So far.

He didn’t let himself cry.

Instead, he contemplated how hard it would be to overdose on morphine they were undoubtedly dosing him with. 

The doctor continued as Keigo stared sightlessly at his lap, “As established, the muscles that control the roots of your wings are still intact, yes. But, they’re heavily damaged in a way that will affect your everyday life. Even without your wings, the recovery to stabilize your injuries is going to be strenuous.”

Who fucking cared.

Hawks had spent the vast majority of his life training to be a hero and now the very thing that made him the best was literally burned from him. It felt unholy. It felt awful.

Fire wasn’t cleansing, it was putrid. Desecrated was his body as well as his mind.

  He didn’t listen to much else of what the doctor said. He let himself go blank, wishing tears would fall. 

 ...

 That was yesterday.

Today, he was allowed visitors. His PA came, informing him that the Commission was putting him on extended, indefinite (thankfully, somewhat paid) leave in exchange for media appearances. They also informed him that half of the top ten were dead after the war with the PLF. Ryuku, Miruko, Edgeshot, Kamuiwoods, Crust, all lost. And countless others, too. Even some students. It seemed that there was no clear winner of the fight that took so many and changed so much.

One of the most hard-hitting pieces of news was that Endeavor was in a coma, on life support, with a brain injury that would most likely kill him. At best, he’d be a vegetable. 

Keigo felt nothing but hollow as he laid in his hospital bed. He was half machine, based on all of the tubes and monitors that he was hooked up to. He felt truly mechanical and falsely alive. Truly, he was used up. He wanted to die. He was sure of it. 

Keigo wanted to ask his PA to smother him.

He didn’t.

 The next person to visit him was you. His PA had informed him that they were legally obligated to see him first, otherwise, you would’ve been clawing his door down.

You.

Keigo didn’t want you to see him like this. All the reasons you had fallen for him were gone. There was no confidence, no lip, no charm, no drive, no stunning scarlet wings— nothing. He even had the bonus deterrent of a nasty scar covering half his face. He was so sure that you’d take one look at him and turn right out the door. 

Leave him for good. 

Maybe spit on him for good measure.

The old muscles of his wings twitched as you walked through the door. It burned like an old hell. 

You’d clearly been crying, face and eyes puffy. 

But you were strong for him.

You pulled a chair up next to his bed wordlessly. You sat, laying your head on his antiseptic smelling sheets and mattress. Your eyes went half-lidded, just barely looking up at Keigo’s terrified expression. You reached out, grabbing one of Keigo’s clammy hands. You squeezed it.

“I’m here, Kei’,” Your voice was so quiet. “It’s alright. I love you. I’ve got you.”

It made him break.

The machines that he was reliant on screamed as he desperately grabbed at you, dragging you up with the little strength he had. You pushed him down, moving to half kneel on his bed. You didn’t make Keigo work for your touch. 

You cradled his head to your chest as his scarred hands fisted your sweater. He screamed into your sternum. Keigo wailed and cried with everything he had. He was losing himself, raging for far more than just his current injury.

 He bawled for every single time he couldn’t in his hero training, forced to be broken by the demands of the Commission. He sobbed for every casualty and death that was on his hands, righteous or otherwise. And, selfishly, he cried for himself. He let tears fall in mourning for the version of himself that died by Dabi’s hand. 

He let himself shatter in your arms for the burning muscles and scars of his back, the ache of his face, and the emptiness and vulnerability that his lack of wings graced him with.

You more than let him; you encouraged it.

You stroked his hair, matted with sweat and grease. You whispered soft adorations, validations and love into his ears. He can hear your tears too, but it didn’t stop you.

“I love you, Keigo.”

“I’m here.”

“You’re safe.” 

“I’m not leaving.”

“I’ve got you, Kei’.”

“No one else will hurt you. I won’t let them.”

 You were far too late on the last one. But, you were quirkless. Powerless to stop the destruction that ravaged his body and now, his mind. 

Additionally, Keigo was relieved you didn’t say that ‘everything will be okay’. 

He knew it wouldn’t be.

You let him crumble against you for hours. 

Finally, he was spent, falling back in his bed, and letting you slump back into your chair. You took the liberty of finding a warm towel to wipe his face down with.

The rest of visiting hours, you laid your head on his mattress, holding his hand as he drifted in and out of sleep. Nurses came and poked and prodded him. They didn’t bother making conversation with either of you. 

They understood, to some degree. 

You were both together in mourning. 

A nurse came by later, night had fallen, telling you visiting hours were over. 

Keigo audibly whined.

You shook your head, running a thumb over Keigo’s knuckles.

“It’s alright,” You soothed both him and the nurse. “I’m not leaving.”

The nurse didn’t fight you, merely exited the room.

Keigo watched, awed. You retrieved a decently sized duffle bag and pillow that you’d brought (he hadn’t noticed). You set up a blanket and the pillow on a couch in the corner as a makeshift bed.

“Y-you’re staying?” Keigo asked, voice raw. 

You, somehow, smiled. So gentle and precious, nodding, “As long as you’d like me to. I told you, I’m here.”

Keigo relied on you for comfort in the past, sure. But not like this. Not like you were his anchor, tethering him to his existence now that his pride and preen were plucked from him. You were his salvation in that hospital room. You were the ground that he desperately and necessarily needed to learn to walk on.

 You both fell asleep quickly, dreaming of better things outside of your waking nightmare.

 ---------------------------

 Keigo was discharged two weeks later.

It is thoroughly confirmed that, unless by some medical miracle, his wings were truly toast. Gone for good.

The Commission brought in at least a dozen folks with spectacular healing quirks. Truly, the best the country had. Turns out, the Commission was clawing for hope too, in the wake of everything.

The efforts were in vain, of course.

Nothing stuck. 

The scar tissue wouldn’t shrink. The damage was too severe. The cauterization was so intense, it altered him. Forever.

 You stayed with him the whole time.

You went home, just a bit, maybe an hour a day. You showered then, changed clothes. 

You’d come back and do what you had been the whole time.

Just being there.

 You didn’t make him idly chat or make him watch shitty, hospital cable. You let him ruminate, stew, and simmer. You let him be crushed.

You were smart enough, empathetic enough to know that nothing you could do or say would lift him right now. 

He just needed you there.

And so, you were. 

 After being discharged with several prescriptions, orders to limit activity to allow for his other injuries (and concussion) to heal, the two of you went home. 

 Your first task was Keigo getting properly washed. 

At first, Keigo resisted.

“N-no, I’m fine, I’ll take one tomorrow,” Truthfully, he wouldn’t probably, not without your help. He just didn’t want you to see him so intimately in this state.

You shook your head, speaking as you brought several plush towels into the bathroom. You turned to Keigo who had wrapped his arms around his frail-looking form, looking at the floor.

You brought him into your arms, rubbing at his neck, not wanting to aggravate the injuries on his back, “I know you don’t want to, but it’ll feel good. Let me take care of you, please.”

You spoke so earnestly, it made Keigo fall apart. He hated being so helpless. 

He nodded against you.

You sat him on the toilet seat while you ran a bath in Keigo’s spectacular tub. You poured in epsom salts and some lavender bubble bath, filling the room with a familiar, herbal scent.

You helped him strip, mindful to not linger on any part of his body. Carefully, you lowered Keigo into the water. He could help but be surprised by the strength in your body to do so. Perhaps foolishly, he had never taken you as physically strong. After stripping yourself, you got in as well, across from him, so you wouldn’t see his scars. You were perhaps a bit too considerate.

The water burned his wounds, yet calmed his muscles. It was a different sensation than the ones he’d had for the past weeks. He welcomed it.

Keigo sagged in the bathwater, looking somewhat relaxed for the first time in so long. You knelt in the water and suds, lathering up his hair and body. So carefully did you wash away the sweat, smells, and lingerings of the hospital and the war that preceded it. You went through his hair with your own conditioner, figuring that the familiar smell might help keep him calm. Keigo didn’t say anything, just let you do as you needed. You carefully untangled any and all knots from his tresses, rinsing him down.

You dried him off, putting a few scented body oils on his dry patches of skin, parched from his time in the hospital. You still didn’t look at his back.

He felt ashamed and thoroughly disgusted. He smushed his face into your shoulder, gripping onto your like if he wasn’t, he’d die.

You find him fucking repulsive, right?

 “Kei’,” Your voice quiet still, “You okay?— Wait, don’t answer that.”

You chuckle at yourself. Keigo would’ve laughed too if he could. 

Keigo dressed himself, a semi-self sufficient act that made him feel better. Though, you picked out the clothes. Some of your own, soft, old garments that Keigo had seen you in a hundred times. 

It was only before he put on a shirt that you gave his back the quickest once-over, “You can put your shirt on now, Kei’. I just wanted to make sure it looked okay. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Even that much sight and contact of the old roots of his wings made him feel so ashamed. It burned the corpse of his ego like the hot fire that crisped his wings. 

Despite those nasty feelings, the simple act of wearing your shirt made him feel better. It felt so good, so good, to be surrounded by you instead of the sterility of the hospital. 

 You had been kind enough to leave the hospital for a bit longer than normal the day prior to go shopping. You bought Keigo a large, fluffy, ivory blanket. You even washed it, so it smelled like home (and you) too.  

After you helped him to the wide couch, custom made to accommodate Keigo’s now torched wings. It was a small burn (ha) to his psyche, but he tried to let it go as you got him comfortable.

You gave him your special pillow. The one Keigo loved to steal and take naps with. You covered him in the new blanket.

“Is that okay?” You asked, tucking him in. Keigo would normally be embarrassed by something childish like that, but he couldn’t make himself care. It felt so good to be comforted. 

 So softly, he replied, “You made it feel like home already.”

You let a sad smile drift to your face, massaging Keigo’s scalp as he sobbed into his new blanket. 

He was so glad to be surrounded by you, no matter how rotten he felt. 

 -------------------

 The first week home was the hardest. Sleeping was painful, even next to you. Eating was a fucking labor as he had no appetite. Nothing interested him in the slightest other than staring at walls and pretending he would wake up from this nightmare soon.

An at-home physical therapist was brought in. He had to retrain the muscles in his back to relax, now that they weren’t carrying the weight of his wings. The constant tension in his back would cause long term damage (not like he wasn’t already riddled with chronic injury), least of all tension headaches. 

Your job let you work from home. Thank god.

...

Keigo hated his exercises. They hurt so bad.

For years, Keigo had trained his body, fucking perfected its abilities. Every part of him was honed and forcibly designed to be the winged-hero, Hawks. But, now? He was the defunct number two, ‘Hawks’ and at home— reality? He was the comically broken Keigo Takami who struggled to do basic physical therapy. 

Only you knew him like that.

 Keigo’s fists slammed against the floor as he strained with his PT exercises, the therapist themselves long gone for the day. You worked from your laptop on the couch. You weren’t supposed to aid him with his exercises unless necessary, as the therapist had instructed.

“Do you want me to help you?” You asked, almost coaxingly. 

Keigo beat his fists once more, crying out almost like a petulant child, (he hated himself for it oh my god—), “I don’t want to fucking do this! I can’t do this!”

And Keigo sobbed into the floor with abandon.

You moved from the couch to haul him into your arms, pressing his face into your neck. You said nothing, you just let him scream and die against you.

“I can’t do this!” 

“I hate this!”

“Make this fucking stop!”

“Just make this all fucking stop!”

“JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY!”

This got you to speak, not shushing him, but just trying to soothe—

“IF YOU REALLY FUCKING LOVE ME, THEN YOU’LL SLIT MY THROAT IN MY SLEEP AND LET THIS FUCKING NIGHTMARE BE OVER!—”

 You froze. 

He didn’t.

Keigo kept begging you to kill him. 

Incessantly so.

He didn’t know what to do.

This was a tantrum, maybe. More like a breakdown. It felt dramatic. But, his thoughts were real. He’d be happy to die, especially by your hand. Then you wouldn’t have to take care of him and he wouldn’t be able to feel as awful as he did. 

You kept holding him, squeezing him harder and harder still. 

Finally, Keigo tuckered himself out and sagged against you. 

 You reached up to the side table, grabbing your own glass of water, and offering it to him. You still hadn’t spoken.

Part of him thought to apologize, crack a joke even. But he couldn’t make himself do either. Instead, his shaking hands grabbed the glass. You didn’t fully let it go, just guided it to his lips where it dribbles down his chin. 

Keigo sputtered a sob.

He couldn’t stand being so weak.

 “Love,” You spoke so softly as he sipped. “I will never hurt you like that. I won’t let anyone else, either.”

Keigo suddenly started fucking laughing, for the first time in so fucking long, ripping the cup fully from your hands and throwing it across the room. It shattered in a wild display of raining glass and water. He hadn’t laughed in what felt like months. He let it loose, grabbing your face and directing it right at you, breath curling over your cheeks.

He knew it was cruel, to take it out on you. He hated himself for it even as he was doing it.

“How the fuck do you think you’ll protect me?” Keigo cackled into your face, horror beginning to overtake your features. He didn’t care. It felt good— “You’re just some stupid, weak, quirkless civilian— how the fuck do you think someone as powerless as you can protect me when I can’t even protect me—!”

 He kept laughing, but he was crying. He couldn’t tell which was which. Keigo could only tell he was hysterical.

 This whole time, since he had woken up in the hospital, you had been nothing but the perfect partner. You had been so kind, asking for nothing in return.

And yet, he’d verbally strike you like this for no other reason than his own hurt.

How fucking cruel.

 You let Keigo go, unable to disguise the pain in your expression. You didn’t say anything back to him. As you left the room, you were covering your eyes with your arm. Keigo caught one of your sobs as you fled to the bathroom, almost slamming the door. 

 Keigo heard your muffled cries for hours until you fell asleep on the bathroom tile as his old burns and guilt ate him alive. 

 He tried his exercises again. 

 -------------------

 That night, Keigo was too deep in sleep to hear you enter your shared bedroom. Part of you didn’t want to sleep next to him. You thought about returning to the bathroom or moving to the couch. But, you couldn’t make yourself. 

Keigo’s words hurt so bad. 

Partially because they were cruel. They gnawed at your insecurities, the fears you were desperately suppressing for him. 

Partially because you hated the fact you couldn’t do more, despite already doing so much. 

Partially because you knew that Keigo would never say things like that to you if he wasn’t being eaten up on the inside. 

Partially because the love of your life asked you to snuff his life out. 

It all hurt. Stung. Ached. Burned. 

 There was a small detail that hurt in a different way.

He called you quirkless.

You weren’t quirkless.

Your quirk was so weak and so taxing, sure. It was basically unusable. For fucks sake, you never even bothered to tell Keigo directly as you never used it. He had access to citizen quirk records, and you figured he checked in the several years the two of you had been dating. Apparently not.

But, you did have a quirk.

You stood next to your bed, Keigo covered in the comforter and soft white blanket you’d gotten for him. You could see the peakings of his back. His skin was marred with burns, cuts and scars that looked unimaginably horrible. You’d been avoiding looking at it, for him. You’d seen how it made him cringe.

But now with Keigo sleeping so deeply? You took it all in.

You looked at the nearly black scarring where the roots of his wings were. The fanning out of puckered, red skin from the burns. His back, which once rippled with the muscles that controlled his crazily powerful wings, was now a charred plain. 

...

You had an awful, far-fetched, fucked up idea. 

You sat, sinking into the bed as you contemplated your idea.

You brought your hands to your face, concentrating on your fingertips. 

Small, tiny vines and green shoots left your fingers.

There’s absolutely no way that this will work.

But, you’d hate yourself if you didn’t try.

 Life reclaimed life, you supposed. 

You drummed up a half-assed plan. It was a weak, frail idea— it would need a lot of support. Even then, you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. You couldn’t give Keigo false hope. It would ruin him.

...

You’d have to fix your diet. Eat lots of nutrient-rich food. Take more vitamins too.

You slotted yourself next to Keigo who, in sensing your warmth, turned into you, pressing into your front. His head nuzzled into your chest, an arm wrapping around your waist. 

You heard him wince at the motion, flinching in his sleep.

You had to try. 

One of your hands went to his back, brushing down the comforter to reveal the particularly gnarly scars where Keigo had lost part of himself. You laid your hand flat on the fire-flayed skin, praying you don’t wake him. You concentrated, watching small greenery go from your fingers to his flesh, desperately trying to repair the damage that had been done. 

 ------------------------------------

 Keigo apologized to you the next morning. He clutched your chest and told you how sorry he was. He told you how he knows he’s acting out, he’s just so fucking sad—

You told him that he didn’t need to justify himself. Not to you. Though, you accepted his apology and asked him to not say those kinds of things to you again.

“I’m trying my best, and I know it's not enough sometimes... but it's all I’ve got,” You speak to him in your own small voice. One that portrayed a weakness that you hadn’t shown since Keigo had been injured.

He felt even guiltier. 

 But, the second week was better.

His exercises were getting easier. Eating came a little better too. You started cooking more, not getting as much takeout. Part of him missed the comfort of familiar street foods, but another part of him craved the home-cooked meals you made so much more. They helped him feel better too, packed with veggies and lean proteins. 

Keigo didn’t notice, he was far too out of it, but you were already looking more haggard. 

It came with using your quirk in general, let alone to the extent you were pushing it. It was a pitiful quirk and you’d never strained it half as far as you were then. 

It had a price. 

To heal others, even something as small as a paper cut would take from your own body.

And, you were dedicating at least thirty minutes a night to attempting to ‘heal’ (read: reconstruct) the tissue of Keigo’s back. You had to start so deep in his muscles; it hurt to push your quirk that far down. Within the first five minutes, that first night you tried, you were silently crying from exertion.

But, you didn’t relent.

Each day, it was a little easier.

Sure, you had bad nights where it was extra hard. You blamed it on not eating well enough, using up too much of yourself during the day. 

It was a shitty excuse, notably. Your quirk was weak and self-destructive, it was beyond your bodily capabilities. There was no way to tell if it was even working to heal Keigo’s body. It was a gamble. 

And your wager was your health and body.

Even eating optimally and taking a bevy of new vitamins each morning before Keigo awoke, you could tell your physical health was suffering. You were losing a bit of fat already. Dark circles were punched under your eyes from the exhaustion. You had developed the slightest shake when you moved.

And the worst part was, you knew that you’d only get weaker from here on out.

So, you upped your calorie intake. You kept careful track of the foods you ate, the same with Keigo’s. He didn’t seem to mind the delicious meals you now coveted crafting, no matter how tired you were. If he was eating better, it would probably help you too, right?

You could only hope, resting it all on a long shot. 

 --------------------------

 Week three was good, but hard. 

The HPSC commission forced Keigo to do a media appearance. He told them, bluntly, that he couldn’t fake it right now. Probably, forever. 

They told him to suck it up, get out there, and put some hope into their society that was being pulled apart at the seams.

Keigo refused to let you come. He didn’t want to think about how you’ll look at him when he’s all dressed in his hero uniform, wings absent from his back, forcing him to bear the two empty slots of his jacket. 

When he mentioned it, you offered to sew them up.

Keigo felt horrible, but he just gave a nod, handing you his jacket without looking at you. 

You stitched the slits shut for him. Keigo requested red thread for the stitching and you obliged him.

 (You made note that Keigo truly had no hope. You couldn’t tell him a thing about your quirk usage until you were positive that it would have results.) 

 The media appearance went okay. Not great, but okay. ‘Hawks’ was dead, and Keigo was not a performer like he was. Though he still went by his hero name, his real name only known by himself, the Commission, Dabi (may he rot in hell), and you. He coveted that you had the intimacy in knowing his identity, but it felt dirtier now that Dabi (Touya?) had that name in his throat as well.

 When Keigo came home from the media appearance, he was keyed up. He flitted around the apartment while you made dinner. There was an anxiousness in his movements.‘Hawks’ would’ve taken to the skies to fly off some of this fractious energy. Keigo just had to wait for food to be ready and pray that the feelings went away. 

Just before dinner, he decided to try exercises outside of the one his physical therapist assigned him. He was feeling energetic enough, right? Might as well pull out some of the easier moves from his hero training. 

Keigo moved to his now seldom-used at home gym. He picked up a dust-covered five-pound weight and proceeded to try and curl it. The moment Keigo brought it above his head, his back tensed and burned something fierce.

The weight fell from Keigo’s hand, half-thrown, luckily missing any and all of his toes and feet. 

He cried in frustration, stuck staring at himself in the wall of mirrors. 

Keigo truly thought he looked pitiful.

He was still wearing his hero uniform sans the jacket. He’d lost a lot of muscle mass with his more sedentary state. His hair was too long. He had gotten more pale, losing his few freckles. His eyes were bloodshot and his teeth curl over his lips in a snarl—

“Keigo?” You opened the door to the gym, eyes wide with shock, but your tone didn’t change. He just glowered at you from the mirrors. You spoke again, staring him down with an almost scarily neutral poker face. “Dinner’s ready. Would you like to eat? Otherwise, I can save it for you.”

Keigo didn’t reply. He went back to trying to pick up the weight, screaming each time and hating how his back burned so intensely.

You left without saying anything. 

 ---------------------------

 Week four was hard because you and Keigo’s relationship is beginning to suffer. Or, it had been, but it was reaching a fever pitch. 

Keigo’s lack of human contact, lack of physical activity, and general cabin fever were getting to him. He was lashing out more and you, kind as you were, were having trouble dealing with it.

Your own run downstate was eating you alive, literally. No matter how much you put into your body, you needed more to heal Keigo. You were up to two hours a night of working at Keigo’s tissue with your quirk. By the end of your ‘sessions’, you would simply pass out and fall into listless slumber. You were losing a lot of sleep each night, but you were determined to keep going. 

Your exhaustion, in general, was making you a bit more prickly towards Keigo’s increasing frequent outbursts.

It all came to a head on a Sunday night.

The two of you were curled up on the couch, half-cuddling and half-watching TV.

A notice for breaking news showed red on the screen.

Both of you tensed. Before Keigo’s injury, he’d be rushing to throw on his hero gear and fly to help. Now, he just sat next to you, stiff as a board with pin-pricked pupils.

A picture, pre-PLF injury Endeavor flashed on screen.

“The Hero Public Safety Commission has just made the press release the former number one hero, Endeavor, is no longer in comatose.”

You watched a real, happy smile, spread on Keigo’s face. For a moment, there was a sliver of hope—

“But, he still remains in critical condition. Due to injuries affecting his central nervous system, he is reported as being in a state of paralysis. As of now, his life still hangs in the balance, though he is lucid.”

Keigo stiffened again.

There was rage painting his face. 

And pain. 

You stiffened with him.

You did not have it in you that night to deal with one of Keigo’s explosive moments. 

“Endeavor has left us all with this message—”

The camera flashed to an old video of the old ‘number one hero’, healthy and strong with a fist raised in the air.

You braced for impact as Keigo stood, shoulders hunching over.

Endeavors voice washed over your living room,

“Go Plus Ultra!”

And Keigo, honest to god, shrieked.

He fell to his knees and beat the floor beneath him. He slammed his fists in the hardwood over, and over, and over again. You slipped to the ground with him, trying to grab at his fists.

“Keigo, you’re gonna hurt yourself—” You tried to tell him. You managed to capture one of his fists, urging it to stay down-

But, you looked up to see Keigo giving a feral look with a frenzied, white-hot sneer all for you. 

 And his free fist flew towards you. It connected hard and solidly to your jaw.

You hadn’t been expecting it. Keigo had never struck you before, not even close. For fucks sake, he had never even raised his voice at you before his injury.

So, how could you expect to brace yourself for it?

The force of Keigo’s blow knocked you back. You jolted, falling onto your side and turning your head to the side, away from Keigo.

You brought a hand up to cup and shield your face, your jaw and eye socket throbbing. 

All you could feel was shock.

And sadness.

And horror.

And anger.

And terror.

 Keigo snapped out of it.

The news report was still playing, but he couldn’t hear it.

There was only the rushing of blood in his ears.

His mouth turned bone dry.

He had watched you move with his strike, falling more to the ground, hiding yourself—

“Oh my g-god, (Y/N),” Keigo’s voice was slippery and warbling. “I-I d-didn’t—” 

“No,” You stood up, still holding and hiding your face from him. His heart was crumbling in his chest.

You looked at him with only fear and heartbreak.

Keigo scrambled up, trying to apologize, hold you, mend this before it got worse—

But you put the hand that wasn’t cupping your face out, just barely touching his chest. You refused to let him any closer. 

“H-hey Kei’?” Your voice sounded so, so shaky. It’s hardly there. You were holding back tears and it was so obvious. It made every part of Keigo burn with shame. “I can’t today. Maybe another day, I could deal with this, y-ya know? But not today, okay? Have a g-good night.”

You walked away before he could say anything else.

 You dashed off to the guest room, shutting and locking the door before falling against it and breaking. You cried and rocked yourself as you tried to self-soothe your shattered body and mind. 

The month prior had been so hard. The person you love was hurt so deeply, and though you were trying with everything you had to help, it didn’t seem like enough. You were getting verbally beat up semi-frequently and now Keigo had fucking hit you. 

You were scared. You were terrified that this would become the norm. That Keigo’s outbursts would continue to worsen, as they had been, and you would become a physical punching bag for him.

It especially hurt because you were trying so hard to help Keigo. 

You weren’t delusional enough to think you could really fix him, were you? 

The fact that you were secretly and silently trying to regenerate Keigo’s body with a quirk he didn’t even know you had struck you bluntly in your mind.

“I’m just so fucked up, aren’t I?” You laughed and sobbed to yourself at the same time, slamming your head backward on the door, relishes the pain that floods your skull. It was a reprieve from the bruises blooming across your cheekbone. 

You eventually managed to cry yourself to sleep, literally. You curled up in a ball on the floor next to the door, worn down to the bone.

 In the early morning, far before dawn, you pulled yourself into half-wakefulness. 

You were relentless and you were coming to hate yourself for it.

You needed to work on Keigo, no matter how you shitty felt.

You crept into the master bedroom, trying to be silent. You didn’t want to wake him. Only when you were fully in the room did you notice a soft lamp is still on despite it being early, early morning. 

Wide awake and upright, Keigo looked horrified to see you. He looked at you, shaking and half-sobbing into a pillow he clutched to his chest.

You both seemed shocked to see each other. 

You sniffled as you turned off the lamp, stripping down to just a t-shirt and panties before climbing into your side of the bed.

You refused to face him while he was awake. You got as comfortable as you could (which wasn’t much). 

There was half an hour of disgustingly awkward silence. It coated the room, bearing the two of you who refused to sleep. 

“I’m s-sorry,” Keigo had yet to move. He was frozen in place as you were turned away from him in the dark. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

Silence.

Your mouth felt dry and your mind parched. 

“Keigo,” You spoke like a being empty. You truly felt like it too. “If you ever touch me like that again, I will do worse than just leave you.”

It was a threat.

You let yourself have it, in all of this. You deserved one low blow. 

Keigo slowly slid down into the covers, babbling apologies and beginning to cry again. 

“Stop, Kei’,” You finally turned towards him, cupping his face. He blinked at you, eyes wide and glassy. “I love you. Just stop. Apologizing doesn’t make something like this better. I can’t do this if you keep hurting me, you know that. Just be better.”

Keigo winced at that. He knew it was true, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful.

You fell asleep on each other that night. You let your headrest nestled up against Keigo’s chest. He breathed softly above you, arms wrapped securely around you, holding you tightly like he was afraid you’d leave. You wouldn’t. You made the decision to stay at the beginning of all this. Your threats would always be empty. 

Idly, you had an arm thrown over Keigo’s waist, snaking up the back of his shirt to press your fingertips against his scars. Your roots and greenery didn’t have to go as deep now, as far as you could tell.

But, it had been a month with no discernable progress, visual or otherwise. 

But, you held onto hope. 

Because you had to hold onto hope that Keigo would get better. 

All of him.

 -------------------------------

      The second month was... different. 

Keigo tried with his whole heart to earn back your trust.

You flinched at him for the first week or so. 

He hated himself so fucking much each time you did. But, he never blamed you. He couldn’t.

(Even as you twitched away from him in the daylight, you tirelessly worked on his scars in his sleep. You couldn’t give up, no matter how awful you felt). 

Keigo did his exercises several times a day. He made a few more media appearances but refused to be seen with Endeavor. He (and truthfully, the Commission) knew that he could not psychologically handle it.

You were rapidly getting weaker, but you didn’t care. You ate more, slept when you could, and pushed on. You were up to three hours of healing a night. Tears rolled down your cheeks the whole time.

You were clinging to the prayer that you could unburn Keigo’s back like it would save you from your personally made hell. 

This was despite the fact he was already crawling out of the pit himself. 

 Your existence was eased slightly as Keigo was starting to help out more. 

Keigo wasn’t anywhere near normal— normal Keigo was dead in a disintegrated building, miles from your shared home. But, he was getting better.

 His muscles felt better. He wasn’t sure how, but they did. His PT exercises must’ve been working. The outbursts he had thrown so often during the first month pittered out to maybe once or twice a week. They were calmer now. You were still his anchor, of course, that was undeniable. But, it was mostly crying and clutching and not screaming and breaking.

It was a welcome shift.

Most of the time, Keigo would pull you into his lap and wrap you in his embrace. Softly, he’d sway and rock the two of you, like he was trying to lull and calm not just himself, but you in tandem.

A lot of the time, this was true. 

Your flinching subsided and Keigo had no more close calls with any physical violence towards you. In a few high strung moments, he still snapped at you. He’d apologize, and do better. At least, you told yourself that. That’s how you saw it anyways. 

Keigo was thoroughly traumatized. His mind was an open nerve and that had consequences. You were so endlessly tired. What kind of wounds and trauma were you incurring?

You forced yourself not to think about it. 

 Part of you, during this month, wanted to simply pack a bag and leave without a trace. 

But, you stayed with Keigo. You stayed determined. 

(Or, you stayed out of spite. On your bad days, you really had trouble figuring it out.)

Your body looked like shit. You were endlessly glad Keigo still wasn’t in a position to be having any sort of sex because he probably would’ve noticed how fucked up your body was getting.

You shook constantly, always quaking like a leaf in a rainstorm. Your skin bruised with almost any contact beyond light touch. Your eyes, once vibrant and expressive, had sunk in. 

Your body, no matter the several thousand extra calories you forced yourself to eat a day, still ran through your fat reserves. It was leeching muscle from you. It made your joints feel raw. 

 It almost hurts that you noticed how Keigo is so pained, but he didn’t notice you falling apart.

 -----------------------

      The third month was when shit hit the fan.

It was near the end of the month. 

You were doing so badly. You stretched yourself far beyond your body's abilities. 

You felt particularly sick, but you needed to get groceries. Keigo couldn’t himself for a host of reasons, which made it your job. You kissed him on the cheek as you left for the market.

Meanwhile, Keigo’s physical therapist dropped by for a check-in appointment. 

Keigo did his exercises beautifully. He had to admit, his muscles didn’t ache in nearly the same way they used to. They only really hurt when the weather changed, like he was some old, arthritic man. 

“Wow!” His therapist gasped, watching him complete his exercises. “It’s looking great, Hawks. It looks like you’ve gained back a lot of strength.”

The small amount of praise made him beam as he sat up. 

“I just want to check the actual wounds around your back, if that’s alright? Just feel the scar tissue,” The therapist asked. Keigo bit his lip, slowly pulling off his tee-shirt. He didn’t like the idea of anyone’s hands being that close to the intimate roots of his dead wings. 

But, it was necessary.

Keigo faced his back to her.

All he got was an audible gasp as the therapist’s hands traced at his spine.

“The progress back here- Hawks this is insane,” The other was alight, pressing a thumb somewhere near the root. It hardly even hurt. “The scar tissue— it’s not gone, but it's a lot more tender than it should be. Like it's actually healing.”

“Is that why it doesn’t hurt so bad?” Keigo asked, letting a few slivers of joy light him up from the inside out. During his initial prognosis, multiple doctors had said that he was going to be on fire for years, not months. 

The therapist nodded, “Looks like it. Even the scarring on the surface looks pretty good. Must have some damn good genes to be healing like this.”

The two laughed, Keigo feeling more lighthearted than he had in months. 

 You, on the other hand, were greatly struggling. 

You were so, so fucking cold; yet another bi-product of your overextension. You were wrapped in an oversized cardigan on top of one of Keigo’s mock necks. You couldn’t stop trembling as you try to shop as quickly and effectively as possible. Anything to get you home as soon as possible. 

You had a great deal of difficulty doing this, though.

If you moved too fast, your vision blacked out. It had been like that for a while, a week or two. You’d lost track. You figured it was your iron, maybe blood pressure. 

It was an easy thing to hide at home, but much harder in public.

You reached for something high on a metal shelf, tossing it into your cart. You needed another item, on the bottom shelf. You dropped to your knees, your body aching and rolling.

Almost done.

So close. 

Then you can go home and rest.

You stood up too fast. Your vision went black ringed for a second. You stumble, trying to catch yourself as you lost sight. 

You felt weightless for a moment, spinning, Though your limbs felt weighed down, impossible to move. As your vision returned, its field wouldn’t move, pointed up at the ceiling of the crowded market. 

There were people speaking, shouting around you.

Alarmed.

Speaking to you?

You didn’t care.

You were so, so tired.

You let your eyes slip shut.

 ------------ 

 Keigo had been waiting for you for several hours longer than it took to go grocery shopping, sure. And, to have you gone from the apartment so long made him itch too. It had been eating him, making him pace around. You hadn’t been answering your phone either. He figured you had made a detour and let your phone die.

 When he received a call from the local civilian hospital about you, he feels his blood freeze in his veins. 

“You’re listed here as (Y/N)’s emergency contact as a partner, yes?” The nurse asked. “They collapsed at a local market. They’re stable, but we’d recommend coming to the hospital as soon as you’re able to.” 

Keigo nodded, head swimming.

You’re hurt.

You’re safe, but you’re hurt.

...

Keigo was whisked to the back of the hospital in a poor disguise. He gets recognized, given some extra security. The scar that marred his face was enough of a marker even if he didn’t have wings. He hardly cared. He couldn’t. 

Your door opened to a very dark room, soft beeps and hums filling it. 

He imagined that he must've been feeling close to how you felt, seeing him in such a similar position those few months ago.

The nurse enters ahead of him, clicking around on a tablet to pull up your chart.

Keigo could hardly pay attention. He felt like he was going to die, seeing you like that.

You had an IV, pushing fluids into your thinned arms. Your face was hollow looking, sockets sunken, especially with your eyes closed like they were. You had several blankets on you, piled over you. Yet, you were still visibly shivering.

The nurse whispered, “They’ve been asleep for a while now. A doctor will be in soon. Just sit tight.”

She left the room while Keigo pulled a chair up to your bed. 

The smell of the hospital burned his nose. It reminded him far too much of his own time. All that pain. 

The ache in his back flared, but he figured it was somatic.

 Keigo reached out as he sat, holding one of your frail-looking hands in both of his own (had you looked this purely death stricken this morning? Keigo couldn’t recall either way, and he hates himself for it).

Your eyes slowly opened.

 Keigo met your gaze, breath caught in both of your throats.

Neither of you got a chance to speak, not a moment of fucking comfort, before a doctor barged in, flipping through your chart with a bored look on his face.

“We finished up your testing. Lucky for you, no concussion or fractures from your fall,” The doctor nods. He doesn’t even seem to notice Keigo, or rather, Hawks. “The rest of your results aren’t looking so great though.”

Your hand stiffened violently in Keigo’s grip. Your face went from worn and exhausted to filled with terror and... guilt?

 You were fucked.

The doctors and nurses had mentioned to you that they were fairly certain that all of your symptoms came from quirk overuse. You started weakly crying at that, your nurses looking confused. You didn’t elaborate then. You knew, the moment you woke up in the hospital that you were going to have to confront your own damage to your body.

You were going to be forced to explain it.

To Keigo.

The doctor continued. 

“Low levels of nearly all essential vitamins and minerals. Particularly low iron, magnesium, and potassium. In general, your test results and physical state would lead me to think you’re suffering from malnutrition. But, your panel shows that your metabolic rate is actually going abnormally quickly in a way that could only be linked to-”

Wait for it.

“Quirk overuse-”

Keigo barked out a laugh, letting go of your hand, “I’m sorry, but what? They’re quirkless, it has to be something else.”

 You didn’t say anything. Your eyes, glassy and unfocused, are trained on your lap. You’re taking sharp, quick breaths.

You’re going to have to tell him everything.

 The doctor flips through your chart again, shaking his head and bringing it over for Keigo to look at, “I apologize if this seems out of turn, but they’re listed in the public files as having a quirk... It’s marked as a weak healing quirk, but all the same, any strength of quirk has overuse.”

Keigo is stone still.

There’s tension so thick in the air of the room that the doctor excuses himself. 

 Keigo, for months now, had been in a traumatized stupor. His normally sharpened senses, aided by his wings, were the key to so much of his cunning. Both his physical and mental states were affected, which had made him less observant.

It had caused him to disregard so much. 

 But now, in your stupid, acrid hospital room, he was quickly putting it together. 

His back burned again. 

 You felt frozen. You couldn’t force yourself to move. You couldn’t do anything other than look at your lap and roll in your head. Your body hurt so bad, your head hurt too, and so did your fucking heart.

 “Can I clarify? Because I think I have an idea of what’s going on.”  Keigo had physically moved away from you. He leaned back in his chair, staring down with a mix of expressions you couldn’t suss out. It made you feel even sicker.

You nodded.

“Breath, (Y/N),” Keigo reminded you. He watched you take a massive inhale, followed by tears beginning to gather. You still wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

 “Have you been... using your quirk on me? Without me knowing?” Keigo asked, trying to keep his voice firm, but truthfully, it wanted to waver and bend so badly. “Please be honest.”

You nod, breaking down to rub at your eyes. 

Keigo doesn’t stop the instinctual way he moved towards you, leaning over your bed and wrapping his arms around me.

With his cheek pressed to the top of your head, he broke the illusion:

“Please tell me what’s going on. Please.”

And so, you did.

It came out tearfully, you spilling and cracking as you did. You felt stupid and guilty and awful, but at least you were out of this fucked up lie. 

It all poured out of you. Your fear and your desperation were all laid out and Keigo was reading the cards.  

You explained that your quirk has always been weak in addition to taxing on the body. Hence, you had seldom, if ever, used it as an adult. You were effectively quirkless and you were okay with that. Keigo had never asked so you never told him. 

You tell him, voice shaking, what happened the night Keigo had pleaded with you to kill him.

“I-I, Kei’,” You push out, pressing your face into his shoulder. “I didn’t know what to do. You were so hurt and so sad and I had this stupid fucking idea that maybe, maybe I could use to my quirk to heal you.”

Keigo’s breath catches. He doesn’t say anything for a moment before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me? Ask me?”

“I didn’t know if it would work. I still don’t know if it does. It didn’t wanna... I didn’t want to get your hopes up. E-especially since it would’ve been coming from me.” You pressed harder into him like you’re scared of him disappearing. “You were already so crushed.”

Keigo didn’t know what to say. There was a swirl of emotions bubbling and writhing in his body and mind and he didn’t know what to say for the first time in a long time.

 So he didn’t say anything.

Keigo sat back in his chair, putting his elbows to his knees, using folded hands to rest his head on, parsing through his own feelings.

“K-Keigo?” You asked, wiping a tear away. As much as Keigo hated seeing you like this, he also recognized your state was by your hand. 

Right?

“Sweetheart, I love you—” Keigo stopped himself, sighing deep in his chest. “But, I can’t... I just need some time.”

 You nodded, tears coming back to drip down your face.

Keigo just watched with a neutral expression.

 -----------------

 Despite not being able to handle talking to you, Keigo was more than willing to help you out of the hospital. You were discharged with a prescribed diet and vitamins as well as a followup appointment in a few weeks. 

“And, most importantly,” The doctor made eye contact with you. “Don’t use that quirk of yours until further notice. Honestly, with it being so destructive, I can’t understand why you would in the first place.”

You burned with shame.

The night you came back from the hospital, Keigo took incredible care of you. He didn’t talk much during it, not to you anyways. He was nearly constantly speaking under his breath, all unintelligible. From his tone and myriad of expressions, you guessed he was verbally processing. 

Keigo gingerly gave you a bath, scrubbing away the smells and stickiness of the hospital. He managed to cook you one of the nutritious recipes you had shown him a few weeks ago. You sheepishly had to ask for another portion, explaining how your metabolism burned so quickly.

“Have...” Keigo finally spoke while making you another plate. “Have you always been eating this much?”

You nodded, sipping your water, “For a long time, yes.”

He hated himself for not noticing such obvious things. 

 Keigo kept carrying you from place to place, no matter how much his back hurt. He didn’t care. He couldn’t.

He laid you in bed at some point, sliding in next to you. He still hadn’t spoken much since you’d left the hospital. 

You had tried to babble apologies and beg for forgiveness, but selfishly, Keigo wasn’t listening. He was trapped in his own head. Even when you clung to him in the bath, he could hardly make himself hold you up from sliding too far into the water. 

It almost hurt to touch you.

 It was late when Keigo finally verbally, directly regarded you. 

“Why?” Keigo asked. You’re both turned away from each other. The bed had been vibrating with your harsh breathing and crying for an hour or so now. “Why did you do all this?”

You stop shaking, but only for a moment.

Your voice is so soft, weak, “Please don’t blame yourself. It was my choice.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Keigo could hear the anger in his voice. “Why. Did. You. Do. This?”

You’re silent for a moment. 

And then you’re sitting up, yelling.

“Because I didn’t know what else to fucking do!” You gripped your hair at the roots, pulling. “You asked me to fucking kill you, Keigo! You begged me to!”

Keigo sat up, staring you down. He felt so much anger and rage in him, it was bubbling up, “That doesn’t mean you had to hurt yourself like this for me!”

“I didn’t want to hurt myself! I wanted to help you! Using my quirk was all I could do!” You looked over at him, digging your nails into your exposed thighs. “What else was I supposed to do!”

“Exactly what I thought you were doing, helping me!” Keigo screamed back at you. “You were doing so good at it!”

“You wanna know why I could even help?!” You shouted. You grabbed Keigo’s shoulders and brought him inches away from your face. “Because, every night, I got to give myself just a shred of hope that you would get better. That maybe, maybe your wings would come back and you’d smile like you used to instead of yelling at me, and hitting me, and asking me, begging me, to slit your fucking throat!”

 You couldn’t stop crying. Your body was so run down, so depleted, but it still musters up the energy to drip tears like a flooded creek. You wanted to run and leave the bed, retreat to the bathroom where you can break down on the tile in peace, alone where Keigo wouldn’t have to watch. You’d done it enough prior to know he wouldn’t check on you.

 Keigo stared at you with wide eyes. 

He didn’t know what to say at first

He was feeling so much—

 Keigo didn’t know what to do or say.

So, he just twisted the knife, one could say.

 “You should’ve just left if you were really that miserable with me.” Keigo regretted it the moment it left his lips. You tense up, looking at him with a gaze he could only call broken.

 “No,” You grabbed your shoulders, rocking yourself. “No, Kei’, I couldn’t, I won’t—”

“Then stop complaining.” Keigo shrugged. God, this was awful, wasn’t it? Why wouldn’t he just shut up? “You’re the one who stayed and tortured yourself. That’s on you.”

“So you’d rather have that I... left?”

“Duh,” Keigo laughed, staring down your crying form. You’re so decrepit in your current state. He hated looking at you, purely because he knows he was at least a portion of what led to this. But, he’d never admit it. “Fuck, (Y/N), you didn’t have to kill me, and you didn’t have to kill yourself either.” 

 He’s splitting inside as he watches you break in front of him. Some fucked up, sadistic part of him relishes it. The other, muted, more sane part is screaming at him to stop fucking talking-

“You really got yourself hospitalized for overusing a quirk on me that I didn’t even know you had. You were so desperately trying to get me my wings back, all while acting soooo supportive of me trying to live without them?!” Keigo bellowed at you. You cowered, bent legs beginning to slide off the bed — “Do you realize how fucked up that is? That, behind closed doors, while I was fucking asleep, you were trying to fix me? Well, guess what, (Y/N), I’m broken beyond fucking repair, and no cute little shit you pull is going to fix me!”

Keigo shrieked his last words.

You fell off the bed, slamming onto the floor. A sickening crack filled the room as your head, basically unsupported, met the hardwood.

 “Stop it!” You were screaming yourself silly from the floor. Your head hurt so badly. Maybe you were bleeding. You didn’t care. “Stop it!”

You knew you couldn’t handle this.

You were raw. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t confront any more than you had already that day. Your body hurt so badly and your mind hurt too. Everything Keigo said just rubbed salt in the wounds he helped to create.

“Keigo, just fucking stop it!”

Your vision spun. You thought that maybe you were hyperventilating. You couldn’t feel your hands, numbness beginning to pull at your extremities. 

“I’m fucking sorry!” You wailed. “What would do if you were in my position, Keigo?! Just watch me suffer and not do anything even if you could?!”

Keigo leaned over the bed, giving you the most empty look you’d ever seen him wear. 

“I would’ve just fucking left, (Y/N),” He spoke in a monotone, eyes like dead coals. “I would’ve just left.”

You stared up at him.

This horrible feeling had filled you from toes to top and you couldn’t escape it.

 Keigo didn’t say anything else as you panicked on the floor. He simply got up, left for the guest room, and slammed the door.

 Neither of you ever felt as awful as you did that night.

 --------------------

 Keigo didn’t sleep that night.

Neither did you.

 He figured (he hoped) you’d be gone by the morning. Maybe you would just pack your dusty suitcase and get the fuck out.

...

Truthfully, not a single fragment of Keigo wanted you to leave. No piece of him wanted you to go out of his life. God, if he really thought about it, the prospect of not being side-by-side in this world together threw him into bends of anxiety and pure grief. 

Truthfully, as Keigo silently, tearfully, examined your actions, he felt his anger ebb away.

He understood. 

Why you did what you did.

But it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. 

Guilt was eating him, too. For all the horrible things he had said. The things he’d done that hurt you without regard for months now. The fact he never noticed you deteriorating. And all the nights you crept back into your shared room, for comfort and to keep trying to help him, though perhaps cruelly. 

 It was dawn when Keigo exited the guestroom. He figured that you were either gone or would be soon.

He was clearly mistaken.

Keigo stopped when he saw you at the kitchen table, head down, and resting on your folded arms. You were wearing a huge sweater, one of his, and a blanket around your shoulders.

Keigo had, incredibly selfishly, somewhat forgotten your physical state.

He ached.

 “I made coffee,” You said quietly. You looked up, meeting Keigo’s gaze with bloodshot, puffy eyes. “It’s still warm.”

“Why are you here?” Keigo asked, heart starting to beat too fast again. “Why haven’t you left-?”

“Do you really want me to leave?” You asked with an unfamiliar edge to your voice. It’s not anger or malice, but something different. You stand, bracing yourself on the table, wobbling. Keigo wanted nothing more than to scoop you into his arms and apologize. But, he doesn’t. 

 You looked at him with this edge of fierce determination, asking the penultimate question, the core of this all, “Keigo, do you want me to leave because of my actions, or do you want me to leave because you don’t think you deserve help?”

There was a poignant quiet over the apartment. 

The birds of the new day interrupted it from outside, chirping with the eos of dawn.

“I don’t think... I—” Keigo was speechless again, stuttering. “You shouldn’t have hurt yourself so bad.”

“That’s been established, I went too far. I should’ve told you, offered and asked, and go from there. It ultimately was a complete breach of boundaries and for that, I’m sorry. Fuck my good intentions, it was selfish.” You squeezed the edge of the table, eyes low. Your gaze turned up sharply to meet his, that edge of determination and fierceness in it that Keigo was unfamiliar with. “My question is, do you want me to leave?”

Keigo stared at his feet. His head was swimming, “You should leave.”

“I asked if you want me to,” You asked again. You were being more firm than you had ever been. You sounded unbreakable. It was that stubbornness that kept you there with him, right?

Keigo met your eyes with a sharp glare, “You should’ve left the night I asked you to kill me.”

You sighed, shaking visibly, but still keeping yourself so strong, “Please just answer me. Do you want me to leave? If we’re going to break up, let’s just call it that, and get it over with, okay Kei’?”

Oh, hearing you say ‘breakup’—

That broke Keigo. 

Having to truly think and reckon with a reality where you weren’t with him and you weren’t facing the horrors of the world together was purely the stuff of nightmares. 

The stupid little facade Keigo had so carefully crafted broke. The burns on his body started to ache anew, somatically. The scar over his eye twitched as tears were gathering anew. 

“N-no,” Keigo hugged himself, shaking his head. “N-no— I don’t want you to go—” 

You didn’t say anything, just watched him with a sad expression.

“Then I won’t.” You sat back down. “Keigo, I know that this is all fucked beyond belief. I know. But, I won’t leave. I really, really don’t want to. I won’t, not unless you want me to go.”

And Keigo was breaking for you again. 

He somehow stumbled next to your chair, managing to fall to his knees and rest his head on your cold, cold thigh. He pressed his nose into your flesh, trying to fucking absorb your smell like you could disappear any moment. 

“Why did you do it-” Keigo sobbed into your skin, nails biting in the flesh of your calves. It made you jerk in your seat. “WHY DID YOU HURT YOURSELF FOR ME!”

You didn’t have a good answer for him, so you didn’t reply. 

Keigo’s grip on the flesh of his leg started to break skin as he wailed into your leg.

You just looked down at him with this expression of pure remorse,  melancholy coloring your eyes.

You grabbed his clawed-hands, recalling the last time you tried a move like this with a twitch. You held his hands in your own, pulling him up, “You can’t do that, Keigo. You’re hurting me.”

“All I DO is hurt YOU!” Keigo crushed you into a tight hug, knocking the wind from you. You jolt forward into his death grip. 

 “It was my choice,” You remind him, so much weakness in your choice. “A very, very selfish one. If I was going to try to heal you, I should’ve asked.”

You started crying with him. 

You both were just torturing yourselves, truthfully. 

 At his core, Keigo was a fucked up man who was so thoroughly repressed and manipulated, it was hard to see his psychological shortcomings. They were all so meticulously hidden. 

But not then, not after losing his wings.

“I’m so fucked up,” Keigo kept crying into you as you had his hands locked together. “I hate myself for being this upset at you when you were trying to help me.”

“Love,” Your voice was so soft, releasing Keigo’s hands to pet his hair. “It wasn’t right for me to try and do what I did. You can’t help how you feel.”

“I could before I lost them!” Keigo muffled himself with your flesh.

Them being his wings, obviously. 

You hauled him upwards, forcing him to sit in your lap. Keigo had always had a bit of size on you, but in your shrunken state, it was even more pronounced. 

“Then you weren’t feeling,” You pressed your face to Keigo’s chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. He entangled himself with you, and you both just held each other for a long, long time.

 ------------------------

In the following six months, a many very important things happen.

Keigo got a place for you for two entire months, just so you two have some separation. After actually having a calm talk about your relationship dynamic since Keigo’s injury, it was comically apparent there were so many fucked up things that had happened and that you both needed a bit of time to collect yourselves.

It was a hard separation, but you still see each other at least half of the days of your time apart, and even a few that you snuck over for the night to stay over. Keigo was so, so thankful. Being wrapped in each other was a different experience, something actually healing. 

You both got therapists, next. A couples therapist too. 

Thank God. 

Keigo had oodles of trauma to sort through, and you had your own shit to deal with as well. Not to mention the whole ‘Keigo being a dick to you because he was hurt doesn’t justify it’ kinda broke your brain for a second. Also, Keigo having to process ‘he was capital A abusive to you after he got hurt, and your only stability being the hope in healing you is much more complicated than just them trying to ‘fix’ you’ was a case of note. 

It was weird, really. 

 When you moved back, fully, to Keigo’s (you weren’t sure if you could call it ‘your’ apartment anymore), it was nerve-wracking. It was under the understanding that you could move out if you needed to, that separation and an ending were just a corner away.

It made you feel more unstable than you had in months, but you kept up with it. 

Keigo noticed, much more observant than he had been. About two weeks into you returning to the apartment, he asked the question, “What if we moved?”

You had been quietly eating your breakfast, but this startled you, “Move? Why?”

“I mean,” Keigo sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze flickered to the living room, recalling the times he broke down and was so awful to you. It shifted to the bedroom door where you broke boundaries over and over. “A lot of bad stuff happened here. If we’re going to have a fresh start, might as well live somewhere new, right?”

You mused on it for a moment, then nodded, “Yeah, that would be good.”

The next few weeks were the most healthy and productive that you and Keigo ever had, pre- or post-injury. Apartment hunting turned into purchasing a two-floored, highrise, insanely nice condo across the city. Keigo suggested buying a house, but you refused. You both liked the views too much to live somewhere so close to the ground.

You packed your things, mutually. You both threw away plenty, bits and bobs that had been relatively unused for a long time. Lots of old memories were thrown out to make way for new ones. Though it was sad and there was plenty of grief in it, you actually had each other this time. 

When you found Keigo sobbing, clutching an old picture of him and Touya, one of the only of him from his childhood with the Commission, you held him and rocked him. You cried with him, not just settling for ‘dealing’ with him anymore. 

When you cleaned out the kitchen, you found the two dozen extra vitamins and extracts you had been taking while healing Keigo. You stared at him, idly, for ten minutes, somewhere far off in your head. Keigo came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. Softly, he pulled you back from your mind. He helped you throw away each bottle, talking reverently to you so your gaze and mind would stay in that moment, and not those past and unsavory.  

You helped each other, or, were learning to.

 You and Keigo both had to agree that shopping for furniture was probably the most fun the two of you had in a while. With a facemask and a beanie on, Keigo appeared a lot less like his former self, allowing for the two of you to covertly search for new homewares without prying crowds.

The old apartment had originally been Keigo’s from his early years of being a hero. You simply moved in with him, adding yourself to his space. This time, you were making it together. 

 “What do you think of this one?” You turned to Keigo, next to you. Both of you laid on top of a fairly nice mattress, the store relatively empty aside from the employees and the two of you.

“I think it's good, it’s not too soft,” Keigo turned and smiled at you, speaking from behind his mask. 

You couldn’t help sitting up, tugging the cloth mask just a bit lower to drop a sweet kiss on the side of his mouth, “Get out the credit card then, babe.”

 The condo was sorted within a few weeks, full of furniture and slowly being decorated. 

You also had the opportunity to christen the mattress, if you will.

...

How long had it been since you and Keigo had laid together like this? 

Your bodies were sticky with sweat and cum, several rounds having passed throughout the night. Your new mattress was going to need a fresh change of sheets after this.

“Hey, angel, come over here,” Keigo tugged you closer to him, laying your head on his chest. You smiled softly, pressing closer. You missed it, truly, the warmth of his body and the feeling of his skin on your own like this.

“Alright, check-in,” Keigo pressed a kiss to your damp forehead. “You feeling okay?”

“I feel great,” You hummed, throwing a leg over his waist. “I can honestly keep going.”

“Should you?” Keigo raised an eyebrow and chuckled, nudging a knee between your legs. You flinched, knowing how sore you’d be in the morning already. 

Though your body had recovered somewhat, you weren’t fully back to where you were before Keigo’s injury. You didn’t mind, though. Keigo had taken to doting on you a bit more than he used to. 

You shrugged and Keigo just chuckled, bringing you ever-closer. 

“Are you okay?” You straddled Keigo’s hips, cocking your head to one side. 

Keigo was silent for a moment, stormy almost. He bit his lip, tracing hands and eyes over your figure, finally landing on your face. His softened hands cupped your jaw. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” His thumb rubbed over your lips. There’s something so melancholic about him. “I just missed you.”

You knew exactly what he meant by ‘miss’.

 It was a feeling beyond sex, but rather intimacy. Sure, Keigo had been balls deep in you for the first time in months and that was ecstasy you wouldn’t trade the world for. But, this feeling Keigo regarded was different.

It had been so long since the two of you had been so softened around each other.

Guards, after months of being raised high, had begun to fall.

  Thank God.

 Your eyes watered as you lowered your face to his, ghosting your lips over his, “I missed you too, Kei’. I missed you so, so much.”

 How many minutes of hell had your both endured? And how many were there still to go? Thoughts of fear and anguish constantly swirled within the two of you for so long. They certainly hadn’t stopped, but they were lessening. Therapy helped. Being in the new place with a fresh start did wonders for the two you. Keigo’s passion for cooking continued to grow and you had taken up a few new hobbies of your own. 

It was the mundane, you supposed, that was the stitching for broken relationships. The real healing of proverbial flesh and bone was intimacy, vulnerability, and love.

“Hey, Kei’,” You kissed him breathless, once, twice, three times. “I love you, you know? A lot.”

“Yeah?” Keigo giggled, something high and light that he wouldn’t have released a year ago. “I love you too. So much.”

 The night continued in tender fucking, the two of you visibly watching wounds begin to grow smaller and scar, no more fire, and no more forced stitchings. 

Salvation came from time and small things, you supposed, half-asleep and nestled neck to Keigo, feeling better than you had in a long time.  

---------------

     You supposed, some time later, that karma gave the two of you a small gift. In the eyes of all things, it must’ve been just a spec, but God, it was something. 

     ...

They had come back over a year and half from when you had tried to heal Keigo. 

The attempt wasn’t forgotten, no, but it certainly wasn’t at the forefront of your minds like it used to be. Except the one morning that Keigo got up before you, sleepily yawning his way to the bathroom.

You heard his sharp gasp, loud exclamations in your half asleep state.

“Babe?” Your voice hoarse with sleep, you spoke. “You okay?”

Keigo jumped onto the bed, straddling over you and the comforter. 

“(Y/N)!” Oh, his eyes were wet. Soft, gooey tears were streaming down his face as he shakily grabbed your wrists. He pressed them to the scars of his back.

Your eyes went wide as your hands brushed against small, soft feathers. 

“Keigo!” You shouted, sitting up, urging him to turn around so you could take a better look. 

Keigo trembled as he bared his back to you. 

Your breath caught as your hands trailed down his marred flesh.

The scars, old and worn now, had faded a great deal. The charred plain calmed with time, perhaps by your own touch and very much so by Keigo’s own cells and flesh.

But, in the center of his back, where the roots of his wings once were, was something growing anew.

Small, burgundy feathers were growing from spindly looking, down-covered bones and skin.

They were small, nothing like his old wings. More aged, with their darker color. The feathers felt softer as you ran your hands along the largest, no bigger than your hand from wrist to tip.

Keigo shuddered.

“Do... Do they feel like they used to?” You asked, transfixed.

Keigo shakily shook his head, “N-no, they feel less sensitive I think. They feel different.”

...

 As Keigo had healed and changed, so had his body.

His wings never grew to their own old size and power, not even close. They couldn’t support his own body weight, so Keigo never flew again. But, the feathers, wine-colored and almost bruised looking, could be sent to do small tasks, much like his old ones.  

At first, it seemed cruel. After so long and so much, his wings grew back but in such a decrepit form. For days, the two of you waited and waited to see what the final form of his regrowth would be. In the end, at their best, they stretched out to about the span of Keigo’s arms. The feathers weren’t symmetrical either, even at their peak regrowth. Some grew in fluffy and rounded, while others were jagged, sticking out awkwardly from the rest of his form. 

Over time, the inherent disappointment and despondence turned into appreciation.

Because they had come back, it just took time. 

...

With enough time, Keigo wore them proudly, no matter how oddly they stuck out from his marred skin. Keigo’s body was still too damaged to do hero work proper, but he still was kept around.

At the end of the day, the feathers colored like dried blood represented something far larger. If the completely destroyed number two hero could come back to even a fraction of his former, angelic glory, that was something, right?

It was like in the eyes of all things, you were both awarded a physical manifestation of healing. The gnarly wings that grew from Keigo’s body may have been off-putting to some, but to the two of you, it was a testament to it all.

It just took time. 

[kaebedom-me]

okokok i knowww!! i just requested!! but,, am bacc with two more request!! one! crhistmass umu,, chaeya mistletoe hcs,, could be soft,, could be spicy???? who knows?? second! not so important or festive but! im a slut for the trope 😔👉👈 this chaeya with reader uwu,, reader gets kidnapped and the rest is up to you because!! ilysm and i want you to go ham and write what you wanna write 🥺💞💖💕 anyways,, drimk water, sleeb well,, eat three times a day✨ luv u🥺💞💖💕💞💖💕💞💞💕 -⭐

Star nonnie 👉🏻👈🏻 would you be angy if you find out i eat like 2 meals a day 😔 but you're the best best bestest ok ily smsmsmsm 🥺 you take care of yourself too ogei ily mwah!! And myur kremsas

This is request number 2!! I'll do request 1 on a different post uwu

Reader gets kidnapped

All hell boutta break loose ok the people who kidnapped you will not survive

For the kidnappers sake, it's best that they took you while you weren't around Childe and/or Kaeya

Cuz if it happened in front of them and the kidnappers escaped with you then Childe's gonna lose it

All logic and thoughts go out of his brain, his only thought is getting you back safe

Unlikely it'll happen though, because criminals do be cowardly and if anyone's bold enough to try to capture you in front of them surely don't mind dying in the most painful way

And they'll make sure you're ok ya know uwu you won't get taken while you're with them

Also cuz Kaeya's so smart and observant, he'd like know immediately before someone even tries

Secretly tells Childe and he's gonna go like "oh I'll just buy this one thing I'll brb" and get rid of all of them rip uwu

You know even know there was a kidnapping attempt

But anyways

So, you went ahead and got yourself kidnapped while they were away

Mostly probably while the two of them were busy with their own assignments and you've just been hanging on your own for awhile now

They prolly had personal vendettas against Childe and/or Kaeya? Otherwise they wouldn't go for you

But it do be a little dangerous for you because you are dating a Fatui Harbinger AND Calvary Captain of the Knights of Favonius

They come back to any empty house and they just know

Contacts the other partner immediately because its just a better move than hunting you down on their own

Also cuz the other person needs to know umu

I say contact like they'll give each other a call or letter or smth. No, i mean them just barging into each other's workplace/ area confusing the rest of the people there

It's urgent man the love of their life is gone

When the two of them are dead serious they could prolly figure out the culprit within a day or even a couple of hours even if there's no clue left behind for them

Let the man hunt begin!!! ✨

Wastes no time, everything is calculated to get you back in their arms safe as quickly as possible

They're just kskfg worried ok? They don't know what the kidnappers have done to you or are planning to do to you and it stresses them out big time

Childe just unleashes all his stress and anger on the people who kidnapped you the moment they step into enemy territory

Let's Kaeya to the thinking about where they could be hiding you

Kaeya doesn't even need to worry about security, he just needs to figure out the fastest way in because Childe: Unhinged is a whole threat

When they do get to you Kaeya immediately has you in his arms; asking if you're ok and checking for any external injuries

Childe is off murdering the rest of the people in the room if there are people watching you

They don't even need to know why what they the kidnappers wanted from them, only thing that matters is you're alive and they're not

If the kidnappers have you like at hostage like knife to your throat type beat they'd be seething

But the fights going to be so anticlimactic because they're both so strong? And their synergy is so good they just have everyone in the room frozen and dead in 7 seconds flat

But if y'all are here for the drama then uwu i imagine Kaeya's super good at negotiating terms

Very calm and collected, he's angry, you can see it in his eyes but he won't let his emotions betray him and will trick the kidnappers to let you go in exchange for something more valuable

The second they do, the millisecond you're away from their grasp Childe's already committing mass murder

Like have you seen him in foul legacy? 8 seconds flat dudes, all gone. It'll take a miracle for him to leave any soul that's involved alive

Comforts you the Most™ you must've been so scared and what not

Zoomer reader to the kidnappers like "ooo y'all are gonna die so hard, when my bfs find me it'll be all over for you" or "kill me i have nothing to live for lmao" HAHAHA

Promises to never leave you alone again cuz they don't want your life to be threatened in any way

At some point, when you get over your Trauma, you'd have to reassure them a whole bunch because they're just that overprotective

They're just worried you know they know how dangerous their line of work is and for something bad like that to happen will really break them

They'll set up like a whole system where one of them is with you if the other is gone for long periods of time? But jskf it can get a lil overbearing so you gotta reassure them you're ok and you'll be more careful

[blu-joons]

When You Support Them During The House Party Comeback ~ Super Junior Reaction

Leeteuk:

Your expression softened the moment you walked into the dressing room and saw Jeongsu sat with his head in his hands. “Everything going alright?” You asked him, noticing the chaos of the other members who sat around, frowning as he looked across at you.

“I’m just doing a lot of thinking,” he admitted, encouraging you to take a seat beside him.

You nodded understandingly, studying his face closely, “anything that you happen to be thinking about particularly?”

“Just how lucky I am,” he whispered, not wanting any of the others to here. “I never imagined when we released Twins that I’d still be sitting in dressing rooms fifteen years later preparing to perform on music shows still.”

Whilst Jeongsu had always been one to reflect as the leader, you were well aware that their recent anniversary had triggered a new wave of feelings in him. “It’s nice to see you perform without the rookie pressure these days.”

“I’m definitely starting to feel my age,” he chuckled in response to you, “one run through of House Party and I’m ready for a nap.”

“Just at least try and look young in front of the cameras,” you teased.

His hand reached out to push against your arm, “as long as everyone else still thinks I’m young, you can be the one to deal with my old bones at the end of the show.”

“You know that I’ll take the best care of you!”

Heechul:

As you walked in on Heechul running through his rap once again, a proud smile graced your face, noticing his eyes fall on you once he’d finished. “Sounds good,” you complimented, walking into his open arms as he reached out for you to approach him.

“I wish that I could do more,” he admitted, kissing softly against the top of your head.

Your brows furrowed instantly, “you do as much as you can, and I know the fans and the boys all appreciate it too.”

“At times I wonder how different things could be if I was able to perform on the stage though,” he sighed, “it still never quite feels the same only being able to spend a few moments on stage, it wasn’t supposed to be the way.”

You reached across and placed your hand into his tightly, “just being on the stage is huge for you, whilst you can’t change the years you’ve spent on the side-line, you’re here for this comeback, which I’m sure means the world.”

“It does feel nice to be around the group for a comeback again,” he confessed, taking a quick look around the room.

“And I know they’re all happy to see you too,” you noted.

His head nodded proudly, “I don’t want to get myself upset, I know that I should just be thankful for the chance to even be on the stage right now.”

“There’s nothing wrong with getting upset, it’s understandable.”

Yesung:

As Jungwoon placed his camera in front of you yet again, your hand reached out and pushed it away to face the members beside you. “I’m not a part of this,” you reminded him, pointing out to the carnage that was surrounding you both instead.

“You’re here supporting me, it’s a big deal,” he replied, turning his camera back around again.

Your eyes rolled at how persistent he was, “at least take some pictures of the group so that you can remember this time.”

“We’ve been together for weeks, I’ve got plenty with those losers,” he laughed, “but it’s my first time having you at one of our music shows, so I want the chance to take a photograph of you to remember this time.”

Despite your protests, you soon ended up smiling for Jungwoon to take a photo of you, only to be quickly interrupted by Hyukjae by your side. “I don’t remember asking for a group photo to be taken of us all.”

“I just want a picture of Y/N,” Jungwoon complained, pushing Hyukjae to one side, “my whole album is full of your ugly face.”

“I’ll have you know my face is very photogenic,” Hyukjae argued.

Jungwoon’s head shook, taking your hand and dragging you to somewhere where he could get you alone. “I’m determined to get a picture of you today.”

“Good luck with all of these guys around us.”

Shindong:

Your hand came over your mouth as you spotted Donghee miming against the mirror. It didn’t disguise the small squeal that came from you. “Sorry,” you whispered as his head snapped around to see where the noise had come from, grinning when he saw you.

“I’m just trying to create the perfect ending fairy,” he announced to you.

Your eyes rolled at his smile, “just smile and you’ll be perfect. What exactly are you trying to come up with for it anyway?”

“I thought I’d try and mime,” he spoke, repeating his actions once again so you could see what he was working on. “It’s something I’ve not seen anyone do before, even SHINee didn’t come up with something like that.”

You couldn’t help but be impressed not only by his creative mind, but also his high skills when it came to dance. “I think the fans will love it, and I know that you’re enjoying yourself whilst you’re creating it too.”

“I’ve definitely missed performing live,” he smiled, “I’ve just got the camera block to make sure that this looks as good as I want it too.”

“From what I’ve seen, it’ll be brilliant on the show,” you hummed.

His arm moved to wrap tightly around your shoulders, “if nothing else, knowing that I’ve put a smile on your face by doing it has already made it a good decision to make.”

“Everyone will smile watching you, I just know it.”

Eunhyuk:

His eyes fell on you as soon as you found him hidden away in the corridor of M Countdown, pausing his phone as you approached him. “You know the routine Hyukjae, there’s no need to worry,” you quickly tried to comfort him before he started again.

“I just want to make sure everything is perfect,” he frowned, letting go of a sigh.

You walked over and took a hold of his hands before he could continue, “you’ve danced for years, as soon as you step on the stage, you’ll be fine.”

“I know,” he frowned, leaning forwards to rest his forehead against yours, “I’ve been going through it so much with everyone else that suddenly it just feels like I’m the one who has no idea how the routine goes anymore.”

Your hand moved up to cup the side of his face, “why don’t you go over it once, with me? If you’re perfect, then you stop practicing, and if you make a mistake, you still stop practicing because you know you’ll be fine.”

“How’s that fair?” He laughed, “either way you end up getting your way, but what happens if I truly make a mistake Y/N?”

“I know that you won’t, that’s why,” you assured him.

His smile grew as you squeezed his hands, “I don’t know how you manage to make me feel better so often when I’m so full of self-doubt. How do you do it Y/N?”

“Because I know exactly what you’re like Hyukjae.”

Siwon:

Sweaty arms wrapped around you as soon as Siwon made his way off the stage, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “You’re gross,” you remarked, trying to wriggle out of his grip, but his strong arms kept you against his chest despite your protests.

“You should be telling me you’re proud of me,” he quickly retaliated against you.

Your eyes rolled, “you know that I’m proud of you, but not when you’re stuck to me, at least go and get a shower first.”

“You don’t normally complain like this,” he teased, unwrapping himself from around you as a member of staff began to remove his mic pack. “What did you think of the stage. anyway, did you enjoy being a part of our House Party.”

Without a thought, your head nodded excitedly. “You were centre a lot, but you absolutely killed it. Sometimes I watch you and I still feel like I’m watching you back in 2010, the last decade all feels like a blur.”

“My body is certainly starting to feel it,” he grinned, grabbing onto your shoulder, “can you believe we always used to perform at that intensity?”

“I reckon you still could if you tried hard enough,” you wisely responded.

Siwon’s eyebrows raised in surprise at your sudden remark, “this is my workplace, I can’t believe you’d even dare try and suggest such things right now.”

“I have no idea what you could be talking about.”

Donghae:

You sat back as Donghae moved around the dressing room, making sure to record as much as he could for his vlog. “Have you got any footage of yourself?” You asked as he passed you by again to record the mountain of food that was on the table.

“The fans don’t want to see me,” Donghae argued, keeping his camera out of your reach.

Your head shook, trying to grab onto it, “let me record you for a minute, you’ve at least got to show off that ponytail you’re rocking.”

“The fans have already seen my hair,” he tried to argue, but it was too late, you finally had a hold of his camera and quickly started following him around. “Are you really going to be alright with your voice being in the vlog.”

Your head nodded as you moved with him around the dressing room, “I’m sure the fans will thank me for filling them up on Donghae content, don’t you worry. Now, tell the fans a bit about what you’re doing right now.”

“I’m finding the right bandana to go with my outfit,” he informed the camera, holding up the selection that he’d picked out.

“What about the one that I bought for you?” You quickly suggested.

Donghae reached in and pulled out the black and white bandana you bought when he first started growing his hair out. “I was leaning towards this one anyway.”

“I know you were, because I bought it for you.”

Ryeowook:

His silence instantly concerned you as you walked back into the dressing room once everyone was changed and prepared for the comeback stage. “Feeling good?” You asked Ryeowook, desperate to get even a couple of words out of him to reassure yourself.

“It’s been a little while, even if there’s no audience,” he admitted in response.

Your head nodded, “I’m sure it feels strange without Elf there to support you guys, but they’ll all be watching, around the world.”

“I still feel like a rookie,” he sighed, brushing his hand gently through his fringe, “I look around and see all these younger singers, and that still feels like me, but it’s not. How have our fans stuck around with us for so many years?”

Your smile softened, taking a tight hold of his hand, “your fans have stuck around because you guys are amazing. Even if you’re far from rookies, you still have that rookie mind that makes people always fall in love with you.”

“I feel a lot better after talking to you,” he whispered, straightening out his suit jacket, “will you be there watching?”

“Of course, just have a little confidence in yourself,” you smiled.

His head nodded, unable to hide the growing smile that developed on his face, “I know what you’re trying to do, but I’m confident of putting on a good show.

“That’s what I love to hear from you.”

Kyuhyun:

The flash of a light coming across your face yet again caused you to groan, your eyes flickered up and pushed Kyuhyun to one side. “You’ll drain the battery of that before you get on the stage,” you sighed, knowing how bad of an idea it was to trust him with a prop.

“They’ve got hundreds of lights for Burn the Floor,” he smugly teased back at you.

Your eyes rolled, trying to reach out to take the light, “I’ll be blind before I get to see you guys perform the song too.”

“So dramatic,” Kyuhyun scoffed, placing the light down on the table. “If you play your cards right, I could try and steal one of these to take back to the dorm and give you your own private performance of the song.”

Your hand pushed against his shoulder, sending him stumbling back, “why would I want to watch it at the dorm when I could watch all of you here, live? And the proper dancers are here then, I don’t have to watch you.

“How dare you,” he chuckled, stepping back towards you, “do you not remember I was a lead dancer in Bonamana all those years ago?”

“Many years ago,” you laughed, “I think a lot has changed since then.”

Kyuhyun’s head shook, picking the light back up, “you just wait, the performance I give you simply won’t compare to what you’ll see on the stage in a while.”

“It won’t compare, but not in a good way Kyu.”

---

Masterlist

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Ayato Dark [Epilogue]

Yui: ( Huh...? When did I fall asleep...? )

Ayato: ..Nn...

*Smooch*

Nn...Aah, you finally woke up, huh?

ー Yui wakes up in the castle’s bedroom

Yui: Ayato-kun...Good morning.

Ayato: ‘Morning.

...Chichinashi. You’re really livin’ up to that name, huh?

Yui: Wha...!? Oh come on...!!

Ayato: Hehe, don’t get your panties in a knot. You can’t blame me for statin’ the truth, can you?

Yui: ( Uu...It’s frustrating how I can’t deny that. )

( But...I guess Ayato-kun feels a little better now? )

Ayato: ...

Oi, Yui.

I...

ーー I’m goin’ to kill that shitty Old Hag once more.

This time, I’ll end her life for good.

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...

( Is that his answer? )

...

( ...I guess there’s no point in me racking my brain over it. If that’s what Ayato-kun has decided, then I’ll... )

...Right, Ayato-kun.

You haven’t eaten since this morning, so should I make you something? Takoyaki, for example.

Ayato: Oh, sounds good! Yes please. Guess I’ll have no other choice but to eat a bunch.

ーー Ah, but just one thing.

*Rustle*

Ayato: You better don’t think ‘bout goin’ outside looking like that?

Yui: ...!! I-I know!!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: ( I wonder if I can make takoyaki here? While I have the chance, I’d like to cook various things for him... )

( I wonder what kind of ingredients this world has to offer? )

( There might be a bunch of other differences as well. )

( ...This is the place Ayato-kun grew up at. )

( ...I should try and get to know it better. Even the smallest of details. )

( Okay! Anyway, I’ll start by cooking up a deliciousーー )

???: Where are you going in such a rush~?

Yui: Laito-kun!

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly! The one and only!

Hmー... Say, Bitch-chan? Did you perhaps...have some ‘fun’ with Ayato-kun last night?

Yui: ...!?

Laito: Nfu~ Guess I was right judging by that reaction.

You’re making me jealous...I would have loved to join in if you had told me.

...But well...

I guess you made the right choice, staying close to him during these times.

Yui: Eh...?

Laito: Ayato-kun is the one who made the first move on her after all...As a result, I’m sure he is more shocked than anyone to see her still alive.

As for Kanato-kun and myself...How should I put this...Right...

We just can’t seem to bring ourselves to wholeheartedly hate her. It’s complicated, very much so.

We loathed her to death, and we actually did slaughter her. 

However...We still can’t quite claim to hate her from the very bottom of our hearts.

However, Ayato-kun might have been the only one who genuinely despised her. Although that’s something only he knows for sure.

Yui: I see...

Laito: ...Oh dear. I suppose I broke character there for a bit by speaking so honestly~

I’ll go get some fresh air...

ー Laito leaves

Yui: ...

( They all bear different sorts of emotions inside. )

( ...Ayato-kun said he would kill Cordelia, but... )

( Still...I wonder if that will truly make him feel better? )

( After all, when I first met Ayato-kun, he seemed to be in emotional distress as well. )

( I wonder if he’ll end up repeating that same outcome? )

( But...Even so, I don’t exactly know what to do either. )

( I... )

Reiji: ーー You are in the way.

*Rustle*

Yui: Wah!

ー Shuu and Reiji appear

Yui: ( ...! What a strange sight to see these two together... )

Reiji: ...You have this annoying habit of showing whatever you are thinking on your face.

Yui: S-Sorry...

...Anyway, why are you guys here? Did something happen?

Reiji: Wellーー

Shuu: ...Pwaah...

Reiji: Shuu! Is this truly the time to be yawning!? Good grief...How vexing!

Yui: U-Um...Excuse me...?

Reiji: Haah, good grief...

You should not be spacing out either.

I do not know how that woman has been brought back to life...However, right now this is more important.

*Flip*

Yui: This is...

Reiji: An invitation to the evening gala held by Father.

Yui: Evening gala...?

Reiji: Exactly.

Apparently he intends to invite guests from across the whole Demon World, and we have been put in charge of all preparations.

First we must start by putting together these invitations. ...Aah, so much work...!

Yui: U-Um...Shall I help out?

Reiji: Hmph. And how exactly would you do that? I suppose sealing the envelopes would be the most you can handle.

Yui: Right...

Reiji: Haah...However...Why did Father decide to hold an evening gala during the Lunar Eclipse out of all times...?

It is too dangerous, no matter how you look at it...

Shuu: ーー There must be some people he wants to lure out, no?

Yui: Eh...?

Reiji: ...Aah, I see...Those two Founder gentlemen, right?

Yui: ( Carla-san and Shin-kun... )

Reiji: Those two are most definitely an eyesore.

...However, I fail to understand why someone as powerful as Father needs to rely on an evening gala to take them out...

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( ...I don’t know what Karlheinz-san is thinking. )

( But ever since those two Founders showed up, it’s been one strange happening after the other. )

( I don’t want any more trouble to occur... )

Ayato: Heh, bring it on then...!

Yui: Ayato-kun...!

What brings you here?

Ayato: ‘Cause you were takin’ a damn eternity, duh!

...Hehe, so I listened in on the conversation.

That scarfed freak and the eyepatch dude won’t back down so easily.

I bet they’ve still got some tricks up their sleeve, don’t you think?

In that case, we should just send them an invitation or whatever and straight-up call them out.

I’ll crush them fair and square!

They better don’t think I’m gonna keep quiet after gettin’ my ass kicked!

Yui: B-But...

( What if they really do show up and it ends in a fight...? )

( Oh no, at this rate... )

Shuu: Pwaah...Well...I don’t know what their motive is, but I’m sure they’ll show up eventually either way.

In that case, making the first move might save us a lot of trouble.

Yui: ( Shuu-san too... )

Reiji: How thoughtless. What if a fight breaks loose at the gala?

Ayato: Che...! You wimp...!!

ー Ayato leaves

Yui: Ah...Ayato-kun, wait...!!

ー Yui chases after him to the garden

Yui: Haah, haah, haah...

Where is Ayato-kun...?

???: ...What are you looking at?

Yui: Kyah...

Ayato-kun...

Ayato: Why do you seem afraid still...? Che...

We’re already at the point where we’ve tried out plenty of things, no?

Yui: T-That doesn’t mattーー

*Thud*

Ayato: Say...!

Yui: ...Uu.

Ayato: What’s your answer? Huh!?

Yui: ( Ayato-kun’s extremely worked up. )

Ayato: Or have you still not had enough? In that case...Should I remind you?

Yui: ( He is frustrated by his own incapability to do something about the whole situation despite his strong desire to do so...That’s the vibe I’m getting. )

( ...But... )

( Right now, being by his side is the only support I can provide. )

( I don’t mind what happens to me, if it helps him feel better. )

( He can suck as much of my blood as he wants too. )

Yui: ...

Ayato: ...Che...!

...Ugh.

...

Aahー God!

...Listen...

I’m sorry!

Yui: Eh...?

( What did he say just now...? )

Ayato: ...Come on, you heard me...I said sorry.

Yui: ( Ayato-kun’s apologizing to me... )

You don’t need to say sorry, really...Well...It surprised me a little though.

Ayato: D-Don’t be surprised!

I...wouldn’t get upset with or hit you without a reason either, you know...

Despite what you might believe, I’ve been puttin’ a lot of thought into everythin’!

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: Also...

If I were to take my anger out on you right now...That would make me exactly like that woman.

That’s the last thing I want!

So...I’m sorry.

Yui: ( Ayato-kun’s been trying his hardest in his own way. )

...I’m sorry for getting scared as well.

But you know, Ayato-kun?

Ayato: What?

Yui: I...want to be with you, even when you’re angry.

It’s fine even if you take it out on me. I want to accept all of it.

So don’t ever force yourself to act a certain way in front of me.

After all, I will love you no matter what.

Ayato: You...

...Ugh.

...Well...You know...I’m glad to hear that.

Anyway, I’m sorry. And also...

...Thank you.

Yui: ( Ayato-kun... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

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