#your girlfriend's going to be god someday let's not think about that for too long

[cometblaster2070]

mamoru is so me because his girlfriend is basically god and is going to be queen of the world one day but he doesn't have time for that rn so he's like sorry honey I've got to get on the grind and go to med school to become a doctor love you <3.

like this man is the destined lover of the world's most powerful being but he's like yk what let's go to medschool someone has to make the money before usagi becomes neo-queen serenity.

[stanfanfiction]

Taste of You - Ken x female reader - PART SIX

Feelingsss tiimmeee.

Please let me know how you like it!! Thanks as always for reading!

Warnings: 18+ ONLY / Ken and Barbie meet in the real world and feeliinnggss happen / fluff / angst / super sweet lovemaking / fingering / p! In v!

For the third day in a row, you and Ken stood in line at the bubble tea shop.

“You know, you could probably apply for a job here. They’d probably give you all the free drinks you want,” you suggested.

Ken’s shuffled a little. “I, uh, maybe? I’ve only had one job before.”

“In Barbieland?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“What was it?”

He placed his hands in his pockets. “It was, uh, Beach.”

“Beach?”

“Yeah.” He smiled sheepishly. “Like, you know how Barbies and Kens have titles?”

“Ooohhhhhh.” You cocked your head. “Just Beach Ken?”

“Basically.”

“What did Beach entail?”

“I just sorta stood there.”

“Just looking good on the beach?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

You smiled. “I could see that.”

“Oh my god, Ken??”

The two of you turned to the voice behind you and you blinked a couple times, taking in the woman who had spoken. Tall, blonde, bright faced, perfect smile.

“Ken! It is you!!”

Ken’s face rushed through a plethora of emotions in a split second before forcing a grin. “Barbie!”

You tried to intake this moment. Barbie, literal Barbie, stood in front of you, glowing with enthusiasm.

“I’m so glad you see you! How long have you been here?” She asked.

“Ah, yeah, like a couple months,” Ken said, hand fumbling with his pocket, trying to put on a cool exterior which only make it more obvious how insecure he was feeling in the moment.

Barbie turned to you. “Hi, I’m Barbara,” she said, “well, Barbie. Formerly, technically.” She stretched out her hand, and you shook it.

You were about to introduce yourself when Ken’s arm slipped around your waist. “This is y/n,” he said. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Of course you are! You are so beautiful!” Barbie’s eyes shone.

“Oh, god thank you - YOU are so beautiful,” you said, slightly overwhelmed by her beauty and the bright energy radiating from her.

“So what are you doing here, Ken?” She asked.

“Like, at the boba tea store?”

“No, here. In the Real world,” she laughed, and he forced a chuckle.

“Oh, just, ya know, needed a change of scenery.” He shrugged, forced nonchalant, and you wanted to ask where on earth this sudden display of insecurity had come from but kept quiet, just watching their interaction happen. “I might work here, uh, someday.” He made a motion to the store around him.

“You’d be so good at that! You absolutely should.”

“And, What, uh, do you do?” he asked.

“Oh, I work at Mattel.”

“You..work at Mattel? The place that…made…you?” You said.

She nodded. “Oh yeah. It’s wild. I get to come up with ideas for new Barbies and Kens.”

“That’s…”

“Bizarre, I know,” she laughed. “But it’s amazing. I’m learning to trust my instincts better here, too! It’s so weird to question everything I think! That’s not something I had to deal with in Barbieland. I go to Ruth a lot to confirm that my ideas are good but she keeps telling me I just have to go with my gut. And it’s so weird sometimes because the building is literally full of men. Like who would have guessed men make decisions about what women want to be?”

You nodded. “I, I mean, yeah, I agree.”

“Ruth seems able to ignore it but -“

“Ruth is?”

“She created Barbie! Her ghost lives at the Mattel headquarters.”

“She…okay…”

“Ken hasn’t told you anything about any of this?”

You turned to Ken. “Not really. He always made the couple times he talked about Barbieland sound so boring.”

“Oh my gosh. Ken would, honestly.” Barbie playfully rolled her eyes.

Ken forced another chuckle. “Ahh, yes, I’ve been focusing on adjusting to here, ya know, the real world. So I haven’t said much…about…”

“Yeah, well now I feel like I’m gonna ask a lot about it because I realize that I have so very many questions,” You said, feeding off of Barbie’s playful vibes, hoping whatever was stressing Ken would fade. It didn’t work.

“Well, if he doesn’t tell you, I will.” Barbie grinned, then nodded towards the counter behind you, seeing you were next in line.

You both ordered and Barbie did too, handing her card to the cashier. “Drinks are on me today!”

You thanked her, still a little intimidated by this woman’s presence and energy, so effortless and flawless and…

“So how long have you two been together?” She asked.

“Almost two months,” Ken said proudly.

“Yeah, we kinda found each other pretty quickly.”

“I love that. I’m so happy you found someone, Ken.” Barbie squeezed his arm and you noticed he flexed his bicep a little, almost like an automatic response.

“And what do you do?” She asked you suddenly.

“I’m a student. I wanna actually become a professor of literature someday.”

“I LOVE that. I’m so behind on reading. Like, 50 years behind?” She laughed again. “You’ll have to give me important book recommendations.” She pulled a hot pink card out of her purse and handed it to you, “Barbara Handler” embossed in pearly white on it along with her job title and phone number. “Text me. Let’s do lunch sometime.”

You nodded, thanking her, and Ken’s eyes kept glancing back and forth between the two of you.

“It is so, so good to see you, Ken. I’m so happy you’re here and doing well. You two are adorable together.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

Barbie reached around you to pick up her drink from the counter, popping a straw into it. “So fun running into you guys!! And, Ken, I hope you get to work here. I’ll come see you all the time!”

Ken gave a half nod, half smile, as if trying to decide between the two.

“I was so nice meeting you.” Barbie leaned in for a quick hug. Dear god, how did she smell so good?? “I’d stay to visit but I have to get to work. Bye!!” She waved with that perfect smile and disappeared out of the door.

Ken stared as if dumbfounded at the door as is closed behind her, and you picked up your drinks and nudged his into his hand. The cold cup helped bring him back to the moment and he glanced down, then over at you.

“Hey, what’s going on, Ken?” You asked softly.

He remained quiet for a moment before turning to you. “Can we go to the beach?”

Zoey was more than happy to lend you her car for the day when you asked and soon you and Ken were on your hour-long drive to the beach.

Ken wore a pair of pink and green swim shorts, one of the few outfits he had brought from Barbieland, and you wore a see-through pink coverup over the new pink bikini you had purchased the other day. Usually Ken would be all over you, probably forcing you to find a place to park so he could fuck you in the car, but today he remained quiet, staring ahead. His elbow leaned on the door underneath the window, chin resting on his hand. Twice he reached across to squeeze your hand but otherwise he kept to himself, his usual enthusiastic candor no where to be found.

“What are you wanting to do at the beach, love?” You asked.

“Just…I want to be there. I think I need to.”

“Okay.” You rested your hand on his leg and he laid his hand on top of yours for the remainder of the drive.

You knew of a little area that you used to frequent with your girlfriends awhile back when you wanted to drink and hang out in private, away from the busiest areas of the beach, and after you parked you offered Ken your hand to lead him along. You held the folded towels under your other arm and walked slowly, letting Ken’s set the walking pace.

“What was the beach like in Barbieland?” You pressed gently, seeing what might make him speak again.

He shrugged. “Pink. Plastic.”

“The sand was plastic?”

“Everything was plastic.”

You stopped walking and kicked off your sandals.

“Take off your shoes,” You smiled, and he did as you asked. You sunk your toes into the sand and watched as Ken did the same, experiencing the feel of it for the first time.

“How does it feel?”

He smiled a little. “Kinda nice? It’s hot and soft but rough as well.”

“It is.” You leaned down to sit on your heels. “How does it feel between your fingers?”

He reached down to pick up a handful and smiled bigger now, lost in the moment of feeling the material and watching it as it trailed back downward between his fingers. He looked up at you. “I like it.”

You held out your hand to him and stood up. “Walk with me.” You both strolled along the beach, stopping once to have Ken stand in the tide area with you, getting to feel how the water felt when it rushed onto the shore and over his feet and ankles.

“Why does it feel different than other water?” He asked.

“I guess because of the salt? I don’t know, actually. I guess I’ll have to google it later.”

You got to the area you had been headed for after a little while, and unrolled both of your towels to lay them down onto the sand. You crossed your legs as you sank down onto yours. You expected Ken to sit down on the one next to you but instead he sat behind you on yours, wrapping his arms around you, nesting his chin on your shoulder.

He let the senses of the moment settle in: the noises of the ocean, the seagulls that flew overhead, your breathing against his ear. The warmth of the day and the warmth of your skin, the scent of the salt water and seaweed blending in with the scent of your hair.

“So what’s going on, Ken?” You asked, reaching behind you to pet his hair.

You felt him bury his face in your neck, his grip tightening around you. You allowed him the silence he needed until you felt liquid on your skin and realized he was crying.

You tried to turn to look at him but he shook his head, still pressing his face into you.

“I just….I don’t think I know who I am.” He worked hard to keep his voice steady but you heard the heartbreak in his tone.

“What do you mean, sweet Ken?”

He sobbed a little. “I don’t know where I belong.”

Your hand stopped its petting and rested comfortingly on his hair. “Oh, Ken.”

“I’m supposed to know who I am, right?” He sniffed and you felt more tears against your skin.

“Not necessarily. At least not right now.”

“I had always wanted to be with Barbie when I was in Barbieland, but she never wanted me.”

“Okay,” you encouraged gently.

“Then I went a little crazy trying to make her want me, but it only upset her. She deserved to be upset, though. I just…so…she decided she needed to come live her life here, in this world, and she helped me understand that I didn’t need to have her to know who I was, even though her leaving made me still feel so…empty.”

You tried to turn again and this time he loosened his grip enough so you could turn your waist to look at him.

He kept his head low, looking down at the ground so you couldn’t see his face. “I came here hoping something might make sense. I felt like I couldn’t figure out who I was. I know I’m me, but I don’t know what I really want. Or who I even am.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of at all. A lot of people don’t know *who* they are, sometimes not for awhile. And often having a permanent understanding of that isn’t always the case, either. It’s not abnormal. People grow and change.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid if Barbie knew that she’d be disappointed in me.”

“Why would she be?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Is it that maybe you’re disappointed in yourself, Ken?”

He raised his head a little now, looking up at you through wet lashes. “Maybe?” His voice cracked fully and he began sobbing, holding his face in his hands.

You placed your hands on either side of his face. “Ken, my love, can I see your face?”

He kept his face hidden, his shoulders shaking a little.

“Why are you feeling disappointed in yourself? You ever had a lot happen in a short amount of time. I’m not sure how quickly time works in Barbieland, but here, things can take a long time. A really long time, sometimes. And that’s normal.”

He pulled his hands away a little and you took the opportunity to pull them away from his face, his blue eyes oceans of emotion.

“Hey there, handsome. Now I can see you,” You cooed, and you got the tiniest glint of a smile from him.

He sniffed again. “I’m just worried.”

“About?”

“I’m so scared to lose you.” His voice cracked again. “I feel like I’ll stop breathing or something. And I feel like somehow that’s…wrong? Like I feel as though Barbie would say it is wrong.”

“Would Barbie say that? And even if she did, why would that matter, my sweet?”

Ken pondered this for a moment. “I’ve tried so hard to move on, and I have moved on, and it’s because you make me feel…insane things, y/n.” He exhaled those last words out as if doing so would nail them into you, that you’d understand without him having to explain further.

You nodded, cradling his face in your hands, and he automatically kissed your palm before nuzzling his face into it like always.

“You make me feel like I am someone,” he whispered, gulping before finishing his thought, “you make me feel whole.”

You leaned your forehead into his, and he lowered his eyes again, embracing the feeling of you close to him, watching as his tears dripped off his face and onto his lap.

“You are someone, Ken. And even if you don’t know exactly who that is yet, that’s okay. You’re someone to me.”

Ken sobbed and buried his face in your neck again, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, tracing little shapes into his back, something you had recently learned made him feel relaxed.

His breathed shuddered as he tried to regain control over his tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorr-“

“No, Ken, you don’t get to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I don’t know where I belong without you.”

“You don’t have to,” You soothed. “I’m here, and I like feeling like I belong to you.”

He pulled back now, your eyes gazing into his as he searched you for any sign of dishonesty.

“You feel like you belong to me?” He breathed.

“I feel like we belong to each other.” You pushed some hair that had fallen into his face.

“Yeah?” A light breeze danced around the two of you, and you brushed away a fresh set of Ken’s tears that appeared when you nodded.

His crying felt less from a source of pain and more as a form of relief now, and you held him close to you and pressed kisses onto his hair as he experienced his release.

“I’ve felt so stressed for so long,” he revealed.

“About us?”

“Yes. That you’ll get tired of me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He sat up a little straighter and you leaned forward to kiss him, and he noticed right away and closed the distance himself as he crashed his lips into yours. The saltiness from his tears mixed with the taste of him, and you kissed him harder, wanting him to feel how much you felt for him.

“I love you, Ken,” You told him earnestly. “I want to be with you, and I want you to want to be with me.”

“I want nothing more than to be with you,” he replied, his lips still pressing into yours with sweet kisses.

“You’ll figure out everything that you’re wanting to, I promise. It takes time. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Ken held you and sighed into your mouth, hand resting on the back of your head to keep your mouth against his, kissing you passionately.

“How can I make sure you feel loved?” You breathed in-between his kisses.

“Anything you do makes me feel loved.”

You leaned your full bodyweight into him, encouraging him to lay back on the towel. The sun had begun to set, and the sea breeze tickled your skin a little as it began to cool down outside.

You straddled Ken’s torso and leaned over to look into his eyes. He breathed deeply and rested his hands on yours that had placed themselves on his strong chest. You began kissing him down his neck and collarbone, then down his sternum and abs, taking your time once you neared his lower torso area and his muscles clenched at your touch as he let out a soft moan.

You tugged his shorts down enough to pull his member free and began slowly began pumping him as he hadn’t fully hardened yet, and one of his long arms reached to grip onto your wrist as it worked him up and down to hold onto you, his eyes closing.

“What would you like, Ken?”

“I just want to love on you.” He hardened fully then and began to sit up, but your hand pressed onto his chest and instead he propped himself up on his forearms.

“Why don’t I make love to you?” You asked, moving around so you could peel off your bikini bottoms and toss them aside.

Ken smiled, eyes red from crying but shining with love for you, and pulled you closer to him. “I would love that.” He reached for your cover-up that you hadn’t taken off all day and pulled it over your head.

You smiled and positioned yourself over his cock but he reached his hand underneath to rub between your folds. “Let me get you ready first.” He sat up more now so you could hold onto his shoulders as he pressed two fingers into you and you shuddered, Ken pressing his other hand into your lower back to help you balance. “Ride my fingers, y/n,” he whispered, his eyes not leaving yours as you slowly began moving around on them, moaning.

“That’s so good,” he praised as your hips moved around and his digits sunk in deeper. “Fuck my fingers, my beautiful girl.” He curled his knuckles a little when he was deep enough to hit your g-spot and you fell into him a little, Ken’s breathing picking up with yours as you whimpered against his gentle pleasuring of you.

“My beautiful girl,” he breathed, and your arms wrapped around his neck to hold him closer to you.

“Ken,” you moaned, “I wanna pleasure you.”

He kissed down your neck. “Soon.”

“Now, please,” you almost whined. “Please, Ken.”

“Mmmmm,” he moaned against your pulse point and relented, pulling his fingers from you, and you reached down to position his cock underneath you, slowly lowering yourself on him.

Ken choked out a loud moan and shuddered, gripping your waist.

“Lay down, my good boy,” you cooed. “Let me pleasure you.”

Ken almost collapsed back onto the towel, holding your hand in his as he watched you circle your hips slowly with him inside you, both of you moaning loudly at the sensation.

“Y/n,” he begged, “please, please move.”

“I��m getting to it,” you smiled, setting your free hand on his abs to steady yourself as you began bucking your hips. Ken’s head fell back and his body tensed as you slowly fucked him, wanting him to feel everything in soft, smooth motions.

His hands flew to grip your hips when you began fucking him up and down, and his hips flew up to meet yours a couple of times, making you cry out.

“Let me hold you,” Ken said, and you nodded as he sat up and wrapped your legs around his waist then held you as he fucked up into you.

You both held each other and moaned almost incoherently to each other, and your body felt like it was exploding in fireworks, every touch from Ken electric. Ken’s heart sang every time you made a noise when he thrust into you, when you gripped him, when you called his name, your touch like a healing potion.

You came unexpectedly, your climax hitting you hard and you stiffened, shivering as Ken held you tight and fucked you through it, then stared deeply into your eyes before kissing you while he rode out his own.

You sat intertwined, gasping into each other, the only other sound being the waves crashing behind you, the sun having set during your love-making.

You saw the reflection of the moon in Ken’s eyes as he brushed hair out of your face, and smiled. He smiled back.

“Whatever we go through, we’ll get through it together, okay?” You said, and Ken confirmed his response by pulling your lips into his one more time.

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[bucksaiga]

You swore 💔

Part 3

Half socmed half fic where Steve gets more than he bargained for when he starts cheating on his girlfriend with the hot cashier from the boutique near his job.

18+

<- Part 1 <-Part 2 Part 4->

6:30 the next morning, Steve was woken up by his phone dinging repeatedly. 

Steve quickly fell back asleep. He wasn't much of a morning person, especially not on his day off. Not even 10 minutes later, Steve was woken back up by Billy’s mouth on his cock.

He grabbed hold of Billy’s soft hair, bucking his hips and letting himself slide into Billy’s throat. He loved being woken up like this. It was everything dreams were made of, and having someone as beautiful as Billy slurping on his cock was almost enough to make him a morning person.

“Good morning, baby.” Steve moaned out. “Feels so good.”

Billy continued on until Steve’s legs were shaking, then he kissed his way up to Steve’s lips to give him a proper good morning. 

“Morning, pretty boy.”

Steve smiled widely. “God, I missed you.”

“Steve, I wanna tell you something.”

“You can tell me anything, baby.”

“I uh..." He nervously chuckled, averting Steve's eyes. "I...love you. I know I’m a lot to handle, but it’s just because I wanna be with you so bad.”

“C’mere” Steve pulled Billy into his arms, peppering his forehead with kisses. “I wanna be with you too. Just give me a little more time and I’m all yours, I swear.”

“You don’t love me the way I love you, do you?” Billy asked dejectedly.

“It’s not that." Steve shook his head. "I just—I don’t wanna say it when I’m already making such a mess of things.”

“I wanna hear it anyway. Say it.”

“Okay...I love you too.”

Steve enjoyed a wonderful, relaxing day with Billy. They spent all afternoon chatting and bonding. Billy even felt safe enough to tell Steve about the abuse he experienced at home.

“I wanna get away from there someday. Maybe we could get away together.” Billy suggested, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Steve nodded, wiping Billy’s tears and kissing him tenderly. “I’d like that too. We can go on vacation to some…nude beach or something.”

They chuckled as Billy melted into Steve’s comforting embrace, thinking about their future together.

They enjoyed the amicable silence, and Steve remembered being in this same position with Nancy the night before. It was nothing like this. Not even close. 

Steve had his mind set on a future with Billy, but Nancy was so dear to him that he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her while she was dealing with her parents divorce and trying to impress everyone at her internship.

Steve’s phone dinged in his hand and Billy’s eyes immediately shifted in the direction to glance at his screen. 

He scoffed and jumped out of Steve’s arms. 

Steve groaned. “Jesus Christ, this girl.” He loudly whispered.

“Baby.” “What?” Billy snapped. “Your little princess needs you?”

“I’m just gonna drive her somewhere. I don’t want her to get in trouble or hurt herself.”

“What’re you talking about?”

Steve sighed. “Y’know that old lab? She’s doing some story on it for her internship. It’s government property and it’s super dangerous there. If I don’t go with her she’s gonna go alone.”

“So fucking what? She’s a big girl. She doesn’t need a babysitter. If she wants to trespass—“

“Billy. She’s still my girlfriend. I love you, but I do care about her. I’m not gonna be long. Just…stay here and hang out, okay? I’ll bring dinner, we can take a bubble bath together…I know how much you like that.” He kissed Billy’s neck. “Right? Right?”

“Mm…” Billy’s angry scowl softened as a giggle escaped him. “Yeah, yeah whatever. Go. But hurry back, or I’ll make it a problem.”

“I know you will, baby.” He stole a kiss before rushing off. “See you in a bit!”

Steve drove to Nancy’s, and escorted her to the abandoned lab.

“This is a bad idea, y’know that, right?”

“Relax. I just wanna take a few pictures, some quick notes, and then we can leave.”

“Fine. But don’t get us arrested, alright?”

“I won’t.” Nancy reassured. “Then after, maybeeee, we can get some KFC? I know you love that finger lickin’ good chicken.”

Steve thought about Billy and how he’d be waiting at home for him, but he didn’t want to blow Nancy off. Ever since her best friend died, she’d been so sheltered. 

“Alright, we can stop and get some food, but after that I gotta go. I promised a friend I’d go do this thing with him—“

“Which friend? Tommy?”

“No.”

“Jason?”

Steve scoffed. “No. When do you ever see me hanging out with him?”

“I dunno, you were both on the basketball team together so I just assumed.”

Steve shook his head. “Not a chance.”

“Okay so which friend? Is it one I haven’t met yet?”

“Uh…yeah. I think so. He works at the Pool.”

“Oh! Are you talking about Chet? I didn’t know you were friends with him! He’s so nice to Mike when he goes there. He let the boys take some stuff from the shed for a prank as long as they broke down some boxes and—“

“Wa-wa-wait. We’re here. Shh.”

“Why are we shushing?” Nancy asked in a loud whisper.

“Just in case there’re any security guards around.”

“Right.”

Steve cruised around to the back entrance, keeping his eyes on the dark road.

Ding.

Ding. Ding. 

“Steve why does your phone keep going off?!” Nancy questioned. 

“I dunno. Maybe it’s the uh…group chat I’m in.” He lied.

Ding. Ding.

Steve sighed. He knew it was Billy, because Billy didn't give a shit if Steve was with Nancy.

He parked near the back entrance and picked up his phone to quickly reply, hoping Billy wouldn’t continue to barrage him with texts. The last thing he wanted was to make Nancy suspicious of him.

“Steve?” Nancy called out to him. “Can we go in yet?”

“Uh—oh. Sorry. I think so, yeah.”

Steve accompanied Nancy into the Lab, waited impatiently for her to take pictures and write some notes, and then they got back into his car. 

“Thank you so much, Steve. My story is going to be great! I'm really gonna impress everyone at the paper!”

“I bet. I’m proud of you.”

“Hey, uh…I know we said we’d do dinner but I’d rather go home and order some takeout. Will you come hang out with me for a bit while I type some stuff up? I know you’ve got another thing but I just want your company for a liiittle while—“

“No problem, Nance. We can order Chinese from that place in the mall.”

“Great!“

Steve could never deny the joyful smile on Nancy’s face. He just hoped Billy wouldn’t be too upset. 

Steve ended up having a nice time with Nancy. They talked, listened to music, ate their Chinese food and had sex.

Sex with her was different from sex with Billy. Sure, it got him off, but it didn’t have that fervent passion he craved. It was what everything was with Nancy—nice. She was nice, the sex was nice, their relationship was nice, but that was all.

In all the years they’d been together, their love hadn’t grown at all. Sometimes they felt like friends. 

It was nearing 11 when Steve grabbed his phone out of the charger. He’d purposely let it die to avoid Billy getting him caught, but that was the biggest mistake he could’ve made. 

He said goodbye to Nancy, turning his phone back on in the car. The texts from Billy started off cute, slowly turning from worried, to irate, to furious. 

His heart raced as he drove home. He didn’t want things to end with Billy so soon. Billy just didn’t understand his relationship with Nancy. He was wrong for expecting him to deal with it but...he often felt overwhelmed by Billy's reactions.

Steve groaned and threw his phone into the passengers seat. He hurried home, catching Billy just as he descended the steps with his overnight bag.

“N-n-no—c’mon, babe. Don’t leave!” Steve begged.

Billy laughed, gritting a cigarette between his teeth. “Don’t leave? You fucking left me all day to go out with your girlfriend!”

“She just—she needed my help. She’s been going through a lot and—“

“What about me? I’m going through hell every single day and all I want—all I want is something real. Don’t my feelings matter too?”

“Yeah." Steve grabbed his shoulders. "Yeah they matter. That’s why I tried to get back to you as soon as I could. You were on my mind the entire time—“

Billy nudged Steve away. “I don’t wanna hear it, Steve.” He waved his hand. 

“Please, please don’t leave me." Steve implored. "Let’s go back upstairs and talk.”

Steve didn’t plan on talking, but he did plan on persuading. 

He sweet talked Billy into his bed with all the things he wanted to hear. "I love you" "I need you" This is only temporary" "I swore, remember?" "Let's do it without a condom" and he pounded his ass raw. 

“You’re the only one I can fuck like this.” He whispered into Billy’s ear. 

Billy’s eyes rolled back when Steve’s cock made its way deep inside him. He moaned helplessly as he gripped Steve’s shoulders for dear life. 

This was the first time they fucked without a condom and it was certainly reassuring to Billy that he was special to Steve. The gentle words of affirmation Steve whispered through his thrusts were pretty damn convincing, too.

“Cum in me!” He desperately pled.

“I will, baby.” Steve moaned in response. “You feel amazing.”

“Say it. Say you love me.”

“I love you.” He kissed his neck. “I love you.” He kissed his cheek. “I really love you.” He kissed his lips as he continued to thrust inside, swallowing every loud moan and taking all the scrapes on his shoulders while Billy held on tight. 

“You gonna stay?” Steve asked, his hazy eyes filled with hope. 

“Mmhm.” Billy nodded without hesitation, unable to refuse the guy with his cock buried so deep inside him.

They continued to kiss, Billy’s whimpers being swallowed with every thrust. 

Steve broke away to gaze into Billy’s eyes as he spilled into him, softly moaning his name, slowly thrusting until he’d emptied himself inside him. 

Even though he’d come home later than he said he would, even though he smelled like Nancy’s perfume, and even though he had a small hickey on his neck that wasn’t there when he left…

He swore, and Billy wanted to believe him. 

So he stayed. 

[missvelvetsstuff]

Guarded Heart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

MobAu

Summary: Y/N is the daughter of a powerful mob boss who only cares about her horses and making it to the Olympics but her father expects her to marry an equally powerful boss to help strengthen his business. Bucky is looking for a wife to help his business but already has a long term girlfriend, Natasha.

Chapter 24

Notes: You asked for it. Am I the only one who feels like Ms Perky from 10 Things, when writing smut?

No? Just me? Probably, it gets pretty weird in my head.

Hope you like it. Like, comments and reblogs nourish my muse. Don't be shy but be gentle.

Smut! 18+ Only. No minors

Warnings: SMUT, dude just smut. Swearing, bondage, dirty talk, edging, teasing, anal play/plug, tiny bit of pain

"Oh Jamie, the things I'm gonna do to you." Y/N purred as she sat on Bucky who was doing everything in his power to keep from thrusting up into her.

"Good boy. All you have to do is follow my orders and when I'm convinced you've done that I will make it worth your while. Understand?"

Bucky nodded quickly and grunted when he felt the 9 tails sting across his chest.

"Use your words Jamie." She flexed her drenched pussy that was snuggled on top of his cock, and he groaned.

"Y/N, doll please, I-"

"No! You will call me Mistress. Do you understand?"

Bucky whined "Yes Mistress, please."

She smiled even though he couldn't see past the blindfold. "Much better" and rocked her hips a touch. He shuddered beneath her.

"Now, here are the rules. First this is a fun bedroom game but won't follow us outside. Playing is one thing but I'm not into a lifestyle. If you're very, very good, maybe someday I'll let you be Top.

Second, it's all for fun and meant to be enjoyable so speak up if it's not. When I ask how you are a simple green if you're good, yellow if you want me to slow down or you aren't sure and red means stop you aren't enjoying it.

Do you understand Jamie?"

"Yes Mistress." He choked out.

"Good. How are you feeling right now?" She swirled her hips around slowly.

Bucky groaned "Fuck"

She stilled her hips "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Bucky stammered "Sorry, Mistress." He whined "Yes, Green, mistress."

She wiggled her hips and he sucked a breath in "Good boy. First things first, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me like you did earlier so you are going to stay very still while I use you to release some of that frustration."

"Fuck! Yes, Mistress. Use me, I'm yours baby."

She started gyrating her hips slowly, whining every time the head of his cock rubbed against her clit, getting wetter with every stroke.

"Fuck Jamie, this feels so good, I can't wait to feel you deep inside me. Don't you want that baby?"

Bucky tried to keep himself still and hold back the orgasm that was threatening, by thinking about working on his motorcycle but images of her sitting on his bike in only what she was wearing now crept in and he had to find something else, anything else to focus on.

Her dirty talk made him think about how good she must feel when she pinched his nipple "Jamie! I asked you a question." She let out an exaggerated sigh "I guess maybe you don't really want me, not like I want you." She started to pull away from him "I'll just get dressed and-"

Bucky shouted "NO!"

Her voice turned hard "Excuse me? Would you like to try again?"

Bucky shook his head and whined "Please mistress, don't stop. I was trying not to cum didn't mean to get distracted. Please Mistress don't leave. I need you. Need to make you feel good."

Y/N settled back down on him. "I know this is hard for you Jamie but you need to learn to trust me." She started moving her hips again until the tip of his cock caught on her drooling cunt.

She moaned "Fuck, baby. You're cock feels so good like this, I don't know if I'll be able to handle you inside me. Maybe it'll be too much."

Bucky grunted "Please no, Mistress. I'll do anything, whatever you want. I promise I'll make you feel so good. Oh god, I-"

She sped her hips up a little and let out a long low moan "Oh, yes, Jamie, I'm gonna oh godimgonnacum fuckpleasepleaseplease JAMIE!"

Bucky shuddered when he felt her pussy clenching and then gushing all over him "Yes mistress, need to feel you more. Please Mistress your pussy feels so good, please let me inside. I'll fill you up until my cum is dripping down your legs."

As she came down Y/N leaned forward and kissed him, slow and passionate, dirty and sweet. She lifted up slightly and guided his throbbing cock to her opening then slid down slowly until he was fully sheathed deep inside her.

Bucky started humming, trying to keep himself from losing it right now while enjoying the feel of her wrapped around him. He sighed "You feel so good mistress. So hot and wet and tight, I don't know how long I can hold out. I-fuck" he yelped when the 9 tails hit his stomach. "What?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Jamie. You better not cum yet."

"Please Mistress I'm trying not to but I need you and you feel so good."

She started slowly fucking him, leaning forward until her tits were hanging in front of his face and he quickly leaned up a bit until he was able to grab one of her nipples in his mouth, gently suckling. She moaned and he felt her pussy squeezing him, getting even wetter, dripping down his balls.

"Oh fuck. Mistress, please. I'm gonna, oh shit I'm-"

She moved off of him and pinched his thigh. He grunted as the feeling faded. "Damnit doll, I was right there." making a pout face.

"What did you call me?"

Bucky growled "Sorry mistress."

She ran the 9 tails down his body, making him shiver "Did you forget the rules already, Jamie? You have to get my permission." She released an exaggerated sigh "Now we have to start again." She moved off of him.

"No, please mistress." He begged "don't leave."

She laughed "So desperate. Don't worry, I'm not done with you yet."

She grabbed the plug and lube, covering the plug generously until she was satisfied. Then she dropped some lube on the pointer finger on her left hand and wrapped her right hand around his twitching cock and started playing with him.

While he was distracted by her right hand she started playing with his balls with her left hand and rubbed his perineum gently with her lubed finger before rubbing around his hole and inserting the tip to shallowly fuck into his ass.

Bucky yelped "Mistress, what what are you doing? I I I don't, what" he let out a low moan "Please"

"Please what Jamie? Tell me?" She leaned down and eased the plug in as she licked his cock from the base to the tip, groaning at the taste of the pre cum that was drooling out, combined with her slick. "You taste so good Jamie" she wrapped her lips around the head, suckling gently and moaning as she took him deeper until he hit the back of her throat.

Bucky's hips bucked forward "Fuck. Sorry mistress I didn't mean to please don't stop, ohgodohgodohgod please fuck I'm gonna-" she pulled off of him again "aaarrrgh no no please" he had tears in his eyes. "Dammit doll, you're not playing fair"

"Aawww, poor Jamie can't handle a little teasing" she played with the plug, teasing his ass until he shifted amd she dropped it on the bed.

Bucky growled, enough was enough. She heard fabric ripping and before she could figure out what it was, she was on her back, Bucky looming over her blindfold in one hand and holding both of her wrists in the other hand. Her eyes wide with surprise.

Bucky smirked down at her "I was willing to let you have your fun, even enjoyed it myself if I'm being honest but that's enough. Now it's your turn but I promise no more teasing, no more edging. I'm gonna make you cum until you're begging me to stop."

He sat back and looked her body up and down, licking his lips "First things first." He twisted the fabric she used on him then bound her wrists and tied them to the headboard. "You forgot about the vibranium arm, shoulda twisted the fabric up, make it harder to rip." He pulled on the ties "Now, I'm gonna get that taste I wanted."

He kissed her on the mouth, rough and passionate then down her neck stopping to pay attention to her breasts, spending equal time licking, nibbling and sucking her nipples. He pulled back, pleased when he saw them red with his marks then started kissing down her ribs, hips until he settled himself between her legs, nipping at the inside of her thighs. He grabbed her thighs to hold them open while he stared at her pussy for a moment lbefore diving in like a man starved. Licking from her dripping hole to her clit before sucking it into his mouth, moaning.

Y/N moaned "Fuck Jamie, your mouth. Ohgod, s'good." she tried to hold back, embarrassed that she was so close so quickly but he was relentless. His tongue torturing her clit brought her to the edge, then he slid 2 fingers in and curled them just right and she felt like she was exploding, whining his name as she gushed all over his face and hand.

Bucky groaned at her taste and smiled against her clit as he helped her ride out her high then sucked it back into his mouth, pushing her right into another climax. And another. And another until she had lost count and was whining and oversensitive.

Bucky sat up and wiped her slick off his face, sucking on his fingers moaning at her taste and looking pleased at her boneless, twitching body.

He moved up her body, kissing her hard on the mouth as he rubbed his aching cock on her wet heat, smirking at her fucked out state.

He nipped at her bottom lip "You still here doll?" and patted on her cheek "Y/N? You don't want to miss the best part"

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled softly at him. "I don't know Jamie, that last bit was pretty awesome. Not sure how you can top that."

He grinned "Just watch me, baby."

And slowly slid into her, making both of them groan when he bottomed out.

"F f fffuuuuck. Jesus Y/N, you feel so goddamn good I might never leave." He pulled back out just as slowly, until only the head remained and pushed back in a little faster and a little harder.

He clenched his jaw, trying to keep from bursting immediately.

"Shit, pussy is so tight and hot and dripping wet."

He shuddered and whined, fucking into her harder and faster. "Sofuckinggood, don't wanna cum yet but fuck. Gripping me so tight, sucking me back in, perfect pussy and it's all mine. You're all mine." He felt his climax approaching "Tell me!" He demanded "Tell me that you, that this cunt, this body are mine. Tell me!" he wrapped his vibranium hand around her throat, gently squeezing.

Y/N was overwhelmed, still oversensitive from however many orgasms she had on his tongue, she felt another one creeping up slowly from the way he kept hitting that spot "Ohgod Jamie, please I can't, I need, fuck please ooohhh fuck!" She grunted. "m'yours Jamie, all of me." She rasped.

His hand tightened on her neck "Just one more sweetheart, I need to feel you cum all over my cock again." he grabbed her left leg with his flesh hand putting it over his shoulder, the new angle making his cock slam into her g spot, then down until he reached her clit and started rubbing in small circles and she was done, screaming gibberish as her body convulsed around him and she squirted.

"Fuck, squeezin so tight I can barely move, fuckfuckfuckfuck." He shouted her name as he painted her walls with his cum, slowing down when he became too sensitive.

Bucky leaned closer as he came down, kissing all over her face. "So perfect doll, so fucking good."

He reached up and released her wrists, rubbing her arms gently, kissing her hands and wrists. "You ok baby?

Y/N looked up, wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled at him sleepily "m'good, s'good Jamie."

He kissed her, slow and soft before pulling out carefully and getting up. She whined in protest, reaching for him.

He kissed her hand "Don't worry doll. I'll be right back."

She dozed off and jumped when she felt a warm, wet cloth cleaning up their combined mess.

Bucky chuckled "Just me honey. Gotta clean you up." He grabbed a bottle of water "Here, have a drink before you crash on me."

He helped her sit up and take a drink then gently laid her back down, laying down behind her and pulling her into him before whispering in her ear "I love you. My sweet doll."

Y/N mumbled "Mmmhmm My Jamie. Luvyou" and pulled his arm tighter around her before they both fell into a dreamless sleep.

@bigphattygyal @cjand10 @lokiandbuckysdoll @kimomoraba @avery199 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @esposadomd @sebsgirl71479 @calwitch @hhiggs

[nannychloecatalog]

The Squishing Punishment: My Journey of Extreme Diaper Punishment and Regression (Full-Length ABDL Novel)

(The following was first published on: Apr 21, 2020)

Excerpt:

She always waits for me to make a poopy in my diaper before giving me my punishment.

She calls it... The Squishing Punishment.

That is, not only is the punishment bad in of itself…

But she particularly enjoys punishing me in a smelly, squishy, poopy diaper, just to make my humiliation that much worse.

She knows I hate the diapers she makes me wear. And god, do I long for the days when I could use the toilet like an adult.

But no, those days are over.

Just like the days when she didn’t have any say over what I wear…

Or what I eat…

Or if and where I go…

The days when I was just a normal 20 year old guy who needed a roommate…

And she just happened to be a woman I ended up splitting an apartment with...

A surprisingly attractive, strong, ten-years-older-than-me, woman named Sally.

The days when my secret crush on her still allowed me to naively hope I might someday have a chance with her...

That I could be her boyfriend and she my girlfriend...

That she might even be the girl I could finally lose my virginity too…

A foolish, naïve hope that led me to passively accept a growing list of rules that she began imposing on me…

Rules that ostensibly began for the purposes of governing our shared apartment, but seemingly grew to include the purposes of governing me—with demands suddenly pertaining to domains such as the cleanliness of my room, how I used the bathroom, how I now needed her permission to enter or leave any shared space…

My foolish crush and foolish hope peaked in the moments when I finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date—

Only to be met with her snickering reply, "Hmm, let me think about it, I'm not quite sure you’re… enough man for a girl like me. No offense.”

And any hope of mine remaining went up in flames just a few days after that, when our relationship took a decisive, unanticipated turn…

When I put up no fight as she permanently downgraded me from roommate to… her diapered adult baby.

Now I know that the odds of her ever seeing me in that way, as a man, are just as unlikely as me ever getting to do my ‘business’ behind the privacy of a closed door again…

She said the diapers were because I clearly couldn’t control myself anymore, after I had had one accident too many.

She said that maybe I’d finally be ready for ‘potty training’ again after spending a good long time being forced to use diapers 24/7, with the bathroom totally off limits.

But despite her official reason, deep down, I suspect she continues to keep me in diapers because, well, because she relishes the power.

That is, the absolute psychological control, authority and domination she gains over me, by keeping me in diapers.

She loves the humiliation, disgust, and shame I feel from morning to night, knowing that I must wet and soil myself like an infant.

That I now depend on her completely for my most intimate and embarrassing needs…

After all, the rules she gave me were clear—I was never permitted to ever touch, remove, cover or otherwise tamper with my diaper… let alone change it.

“No,” she said to me, “You lost that adult privilege when you messed in your pants like an infant. Like I said, from now on, I’m going to treat you exactly like the baby you are.”

I still vividly remember the incident that finally pushed her over the edge like it was yesterday…

I had been taking an afternoon nap on the couch and was woken by the sound of the front door opening.

I realized she was home early. And as I sat up, I also realized, to my horror, that my crotch was soaked.

I had done it again. I had wet myself while sleeping. This time, while just taking a nap.

I leapt to my feet and sprinted to the bathroom, desperate to hide the fact that, not only had I had another accident, but I wasn’t wearing the pull-ups she had begun demanding I wear to bed, “So that the whole apartment stops reeking of your piss.”

“Everything okay?” she asked from down the hall as she caught sight of me sprinting to the bathroom.

I slammed the door behind me and frantically began trying to change out of my pee-soaked trousers before she could discover what I had done…

“What are you doing in there?” She asked in a suspicious tone as she knocked on the bathroom door.

“Uhh… nothing!” I squeaked. I began urgently trying to dry the shameful stain in the crotch of my pants and down to my ankle with toilet paper.

Until suddenly…

BAM!

The door flew open—

She had kicked the meager lock right off the wall.

I jumped and turned in shock, still holding my pee-soaked tighty-whities and pathetic wet pants.

She looked me up and down in a mixture of anger and disgust.

I let out a quiet groan.

But my groan was not just from the embarrassment of having been discovered trying to cover up yet another humiliating bedwetting accident…

No, I groaned because I realized that, to my utter horror, she had scared the shit out of me.

Literally.

I suddenly felt a warm, thick mound of shit in the back of my undies, where I had apparently just pooped my pants in terror.

It didn’t help matters that my tummy had already been a little upset that day, but this was still an act so incredibly embarrassing and infantile, I didn’t know I was capable of it. (I suppose I had never faced terror before like the terror of facing her with evidence of an undisclosed accident in my pants.)

“Unbelievable,” she said from the doorway of the bathroom as she stared at my pee-soaked crotch. It was clear she was not yet aware of my ‘rear’ accident.

“It’s bad enough that I apparently can’t trust you to be adult enough to know when you need to wear your nighttime protection, but the fact that you tried to hide your accident from me so that the way I found out is by discovering the smelly stain you left on my couch…”

She trailed off…

And then, to my horror, she wrinkled her nose. She sniffed the air, then sniffed it again.

Suddenly her expression of anger turned to one of absolute revulsion.

“Oh my god, you didn’t…” she seethed. “Turn around,” she commanded.

“No,” I whimpered.

“Turn around, right now!” She ordered.

I didn’t budge, frozen with terror.

She glared at me as I cowered before her.

“So help me…” she muttered as she marched toward me.

She yanked me by the hand, spun me on my feet and pinned me against the wall before I even knew what was happening.

I gasped, watching in the mirror as she inspected, with disgust, the brown load clearly visible in the seat of my previously white underpants.

“You dirty, dirty boy,” she muttered. “You are in big… big trouble.”

And in that moment, even that early on in the process, I knew that our relationship was about to fundamentally change.

The first thing she did, after discovering the poopy accident in my undies, was push my nose into the corner of the bathroom and order me to put my hands on my head.

I tearfully complied, too scared to further invoke her rage, even with the humiliating load still sitting in my undies.

I then realized she was taking pictures of me in my pathetic, humiliating state with her phone. But I was far too defeated to attempt to protest.

She told me not to move a muscle while she prepared some things, then left the bathroom and took the bathroom’s only roll of toilet paper with her, presumably to prevent me from trying to clean myself up before she gave me permission.

She wanted me to stand there wallowing in my humiliating mess, forcing me to feel the full weight of my shameful accident.

I stood there, trembling with the pathetic mess in my pants, for what seemed like nearly an hour.

Every second that passed, I felt more desperate to disobey her, to leave the corner and clean myself up with what ever I could find.

And yet, the idea of her suddenly returning and catching me in the act of disobeying her yet again, terrified me into total compliance.

I breathed a small sigh of relief when I heard her finally return. I had been expecting that she would be holding the supplies necessary to help me clean myself up.

But instead, she suddenly yanked me by the ear and began pulling me out to the living room.

“Sit that dirty little bottom down!” she ordered, pointing to a towel she had laid out on the living room floor in front of the couch.

I felt little choice but to comply. I cringed with disgust and shame as I felt the filthy mess in my tighty-whities smear against my butt cheeks and crotch while I sat down before her.

When I raised my gaze to look at her while she took a seat on the couch, I couldn’t help but feel in awe of her power.

She was wearing her leather mini-skirt, a low cut top, and tall black boots. Her breasts were plump and enticing. Her lips were glistening and red. Her outfit seemed to foreshadow the dominatrix she was to become over me.

And just the act of being forced to witness her absolute beauty while sitting in my filthy, pathetic state, made my humiliation before her take on a sudden new intensity.

“First, it was you failing to keep up with basic adult chores such as doing the dishes or cleaning up your disgusting bedroom,” she began.

“Then, it became even more revolting juvenile behavior, such as me finding your piss on my toilet seat, or having to see disgusting brown skid marks in the underpants you put in our shared laundry.”

I shifted in discomfort as she spoke, which only made the disgusting load press and smear against my crotch even more, filling me with shame and disgust.

“Now, not only do you apparently wet the bed at your age, a shocking fact that I had to learn firsthand from smelling your disgusting pee-soaked bed-sheets from our hallway…

“But you continue to refuse to take even the barest level of responsibility for your pathetic shortcoming by wearing the pull-ups that I already bought for you with my own damn money! Instead, you’ve chosen to soil my furniture through either disrespect or stupidity, I can’t tell!”

I began tearing up, her words cutting through me and humiliating me to the core.

“And now, on top of all that, I find out that you don’t just wet yourself like a pathetic baby… you also poop your pants like one too?”

I blushed even hotter, the humiliating smell of my accident which now permeated the whole room made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

“Well, it’s clear to me now that my patience with your pathetic, infantile behavior has been an absolute waste of my time,” she stated.

“Given that we are still only in the first months of a very long lease we must continue to maintain together, I have decided to solve the ongoing problem your behavior presents for me by taking things into my own hands.

“You have demonstrated the same level of responsibility, respect, and quite frankly mental aptitude, as a toddler going through his terrible-two’s. Therefore, from now on, I will be treating you in the way that you apparently want to be—and certainly need to be—treated.

“That is, I’ve decided that, from now on you will start being treated exactly like the baby you are acting like. And I am going to be… your new Mommy, whether you like it or not,” she said with a stern expression.

I looked up in shock from my humiliating position on the floor. I had never heard anything like this. I opened my mouth to try to protest. “But—”

“It’s not up for discussion, poopy pants,” she declared, cutting me off. “First of all, if you fail to respect my new position of authority, I will share the images of your pathetic poopy accident far and wide. Not to mention the other images I’ve been accumulating of you in your pull-ups at night as well as the other embarrassing messes I’ve come across.”

I was mortified, shuddering at the thought of my current humiliation now following me for the rest of my life on the internet.

“Second, you already know I am far stronger and far smarter than you. I feel that you’ve already given me every reason I need to exact my personal revenge for the hassles you’ve already put me through. Therefore, I will not hesitate to use all means at my disposal to both physically and psychologically subdue and overpower you, if necessary.”

My eyes widened at the sight of her powerful figure. I knew she was proficient in kickboxing from when she was younger, and it didn’t take much imagination to see her easily toppling my scrawny frame and pummeling me into submission if she really wanted to.

“And finally, you pathetic, naughty little stinker, it’s clear that however you were raised, it was without the most crucial skills necessary to being an adult, such as feeding yourself or not pissing your fucking pants. So the sad truth is, you need this from me far more than I need this from you.”

I was speechless. She leaned in and pinched my cheek.

“So that means your new ‘Mommy’ is going to take care of you from now on! Aren’t you lucky, you naughty, naughty little stinker!” She squealed in an over-the top, condescending voice.

I groaned. I couldn’t believe what she was saying to me.

And that was before she even began explaining my new rules…

I still remember every rule she issued to me that day to the letter.

In fact, sometimes, just for fun, she’ll make me recite the full list of my rules in front of guests, delivering a swift swat to my rear every time I stumble or forget one.

So as you can imagine, the rules she explained that day are, by now, etched firmly into my mind…

Rule #1:

You are always, without exception, to be wearing a diaper. That means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If at any time I discover you without a diaper on, unless of course in the middle of a diaper change or a supervised bath, you will be severely punished.

Rule #2:

You are never, under any circumstances, to remove, tamper with, adjust, untape or interfere with a diaper that you have been put in.

And you are absolutely forbidden from reaching your grubby little hands down the front or rear of your diaper for any reason, especially for any attempts to play with your pathetic, teeny little pecker.

Rule #3:

You are forbidden, under any circumstances, from ever changing your own diaper. Diaper changes will be performed by me or a designated caregiver of my choosing, should I be unavailable.

Rule #4:

You are also forbidden, under any circumstances, from ever asking for a diaper change from me or any other designated caregiver.

Instead, you must wait until you are organically ‘checked’ and ‘discovered’ to be in need of a change.

Asking for a diaper change, or attempting to signal such a request in some other fashion, will be met not only with a mandatory minimum waiting time until your next diaper change, but likely additional punishments as well.

Both rules number 3 and 4 are for the purposes of giving you the authentic, full experience of what it’s really like to pee and poop your pants like a baby.

The goal is for you to truly experience the helplessness and humiliation of both being forced to sit in a soiled diaper, waiting to be changed at your caregiver’s discretion, as well as the intense shame of being forced to expose your mess entirely to your caregiver while she or he changes you.

This is because one of the primary purposes of your diaper punishment is to impress upon you a sincere, long-lasting, deep-seated motivation to actually become potty-trained, should you be so lucky as to have that opportunity again at some point in the future.

Rule #5

Sex and romance for you is now strictly forbidden. You will henceforth be treated like the baby you are, and sex and romantic relationships are only for grown-ups who don’t poop their pants.

Rule #6

And on that note, masturbation is especially forbidden. Any attempts to pleasure yourself in an ‘adult way’ in your diaper is not only truly pathetic, disgraceful, and unsanitary, it will likely be met with a sturdy, locking chastity device, along with a litany of other punishments to follow.

Rule #7

Adult words are now off the table for you.

To clarify, I don’t just mean curse words, although you will be punished to the extreme should you ever be so unfortunate as to be caught uttering one of those.

No, adult language as a whole is now off the table for you. From now on, you are to speak like a two year old.

In general, that means mostly two to three word phrases, a highly limited vocabulary, and lisping when appropriate.

If you need more help learning the specifics of how you are to sound from now on, I’m happy to give you a nice long lesson over my knee, with a nice hard swat to your bum every time you speak in a way that’s inappropriate for your age, so that you can learn as quickly as possible.

Rule #8

On that note, from now on, you are to address me as, ‘Mommy’.

Even though I am not your Mother, you have treated me like I am for far too long, given the way you’ve forced me to deal with your infantile messes and accidents.

Therefore, it’s time for you to finally at least start giving me the respect of the position by calling me by the title of ‘Mommy’ going forward.

Rule #9

You are to obey me, and anyone else I ever assign to your care, utterly and completely.

Any semblance of back-talk, disagreement, whining or fussing regarding any decision, rule or demand that I ever should make of you, no matter how unpleasant, humiliating, or degrading you find it, will swiftly be met with severe and unrelenting punishment until you learn and accept the nature of your new role.

Rule #10

And finally, at the end of every day, before you go to sleep, you are to sincerely express your heartfelt thanks to me for everything I do for you by reciting the following words to me with your thumb planted firmly in your mouth…

“Thank you, Mommy, for changing my poopy diapers every day. I’m sorry I’m such a pathetic, naughty, diaper-wearing stinker. And thank you, Mommy, for punishing me in all the ways that I deserve, as I know your punishments are the only way I can learn how to be less of a filthy, naughty, stinker going forward.”

As you can imagine, by the time she had finished issuing all ten of her rules for the first time, my head was spinning.

At first, I doubted she would follow through with this insane plan. How could she? It all seemed so over the top.

But boy was I wrong…

_______

Buy now to read the rest of this full length novel!

Buy on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087C3FQ11

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

Find the word tag game!

Thanks for tagging me!! I got tagged twice so I'm going to do both sets of words in one post so I don't have to come up with twice as many people to tag shhhh

From @dotr-rose-love: little, garden, dream, car, and why

From @lungs-and-gills: knife, water, read, shimmer, and friend

These are from Blue like don't forget about me

Little and Why:

“Only a little.”

And maybe in another life that’d be the truth. It’s not late, but it’s the time of year when the sun turns in early and only rises when it can’t get away with staying down any longer. And Daddy don’t usually need an excuse to put the fear of God into him, so it’s always a special treat when Nash gives him one.

“Why’d you stay then?”

It might be something in the jutting tip of Teddy’s chin or the proud shine in his eyes, or perhaps it’s instinct honed from years of tiptoeing around his dad that warns Nash away from the truth.

“I never seen that many Pokémon cards before.”

Teddy’s posture relaxes and that same playful grin from earlier peeps out.

“Have,” Teddy's uncle interjects.

Baffled, Nash argues, “Have not.”

His uncle shakes his head. “No, I have never seen that many Pokémon cards before.”

Nash glances at Teddy then looks back to his uncle and says slowly with his best enunciation, “Neither have I.”

Teddy cackles, head thrown back, and nearly falls from his seat at the table. His uncle smiles and it lightens him up, but not enough to make Nash feel better about being the butt of some joke he doesn’t understand.

Garden: didn't have it :(

Dream Sleeps:

But Nash doesn't think that's quite right. He thinks God is a lot like Mama—lovin' so long as it’s from a distance and you don’t think too much about what he could fix if he really tried. The sticky questions are always smoothed over with pretty words like, ‘do what’s right even when it’s hard,’ and ‘learn to fight your own battles’.

His teacher says it’s inspiring, but all he hears is that as far as fightin' the devil goes, he's on his own. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised to find there is no God up there pokin’ people to do what’s right.

But he’s got no issue believin’ in the devil.

Not only is the devil real, he's mean as spit and sleeps just down the hall.

Car:

[Nash] sets [the step stool] in front of the car, climbs atop it, and clicks on the light. It reflects back at him from the shiny silver of the socket wrench.

"Perfect. Hold it right there."

Teddy's uncle gets to work. He also gets to chatting. Nash doesn't say much, but he doesn't need to because Teddy's uncle does all the talking. He's never been this chatty before, but apparently, all he needed was a tool in his hand and something to keep him busy to open up the floodgates.

He doesn't talk about anything over important, mostly just cars. Sports cars, race cars, the go-cart he wants to build with Teddy someday if he could just convince him to put down the Pokémon cards for five minutes. He talks about trucks that'll last years and trucks that are better left on the side of the road. He talks about his first car, a station wagon, and he talks about his high school girlfriend's first car, a Jeep, and how he got it stuck while out mudding and rather than confess to her old man about it, he called up all of his friends to help him tow it out.

They got three more cars stuck before he finally caved and called on the adults for help. He talks about how long they all laughed at them before they lifted a single finger and how he was so embarrassed he stopped answering his girlfriend's calls until she sent her cousin over to tell him he was dumped.

It's… surprisingly nice.

Knife: didn't have it :(

Water:

He’s never been too good at letting go of the anger that sometimes balls up in his chest like a nasty old hairball, but the very last thing he ever wants to be is like his daddy, so he swallows back the mean-spirited words that want to choke out of him while Teddy chatters about nothing of consequence all the way through the cornfield, over the ridge, and down past the treeline where a little bubbling spit of water curls around hills and through tree roots.

Read(ing) and Shimmer Glitter:

"Let me help with your bully and I'll let you help with mine."

Teddy sticks out his hand like a gentleman's agreement is enough to protect Nash, like the skinny little asthmatic with a million and one allergies is any match for his pa.

Yet... despite his deficiencies, there's an unshakable confidence to Teddy that's difficult to look past. It's tricky because Teddy always means what he says, but Nash likes to think he's gotten pretty good at telling when he's talking bullshit and when he might actually be onto something.

The other problem is that once you spend enough time with Teddy, some of that baseless confidence starts to shed off onto you when you're not lookin'. Like glitter, you don't even realize it's there until the light catches it just right.

Nash takes Teddy's hand and grips it how Daddy taught him at church for greetin' time. Nobody smacks him in the back of the head for doin' it wrong even though Teddy doesn't pump his hand up and down and he holds on far longer than he should.

He's gotten pretty good at reading Teddy's face despite the handkerchief, but it still takes him by surprise when he notices the wrinkles beside his eyes that give away a covered smile.

Friend:

He doesn't see Teddy again for three days. By Wednesday, he's sure he's dead.

He gets so bold as to ask Ms. Rainer if Teddy'll be comin' back but she just smiles at him all sweet like adults do to babies when they coo and dribble spit down their fronts and tells him Teddy'll be back soon and it's wonderful to see that he finally made a friend.

He comes away from the conversation with no comfort as to Teddy’s health and rankled by the idea that he's known for being a friendless little freak. Hasn't anyone figured out yet that it's on purpose? On purpose he doesn't collect extra pairs of grasping hands that need things he can't give. On purpose he keeps his distance.

Yet here he is, checkin' on the new kid that lives in the house up the hill and fretting for all the nothin' he's heard.

Tagging (with no pressure): @wildswrites, @arionawrites, @lucianinsanity, @thedumbestavenger, @surroundedbypearls and anyone else who wants to play!

Your words are: hint, blow, tremble, smile, and flat

[hummingbee-lievable]

I have lost track of my nerves and they have decided that

dancing in wild fractures is

the only way.

I remember the texture of your lips

but I don't remember the colour of your eyes

or the way your breath smelled in the morning

(even though I know it was a scent I enjoyed, to my surprise).

I remember that when the sun went down you would

pause everything to sip your tea (two sugars, no milk)

and stand on the balcony (and I wasn't to say one. single. word.)

and that you hated how meticulous I was with washing dishes

(just put them in the dishwasher, for goodness' sake!)

(you would never say 'god', you didn't want to lean into a concept you refused to entertain, even peripherally)

but I've forgotten the way your shirts lined the closet and which direction you put your shoes at the door.

I've forgotten the way your arms felt around me when I was at my most tired

when I was nothing but weary feet and a queasy stomach and you let me sink into you.

I've forgotten how that feels and only know that it is a betrayal that I have.

Sometimes when it's dark enough and quiet enough, I think I hear the clink of a bottle being surreptitiously put back under the washroom cabinet

as though I would not know.

My favourite memory of you, the one run I run over my tongue when every other taste is curdled milk and shadows

is of you waiting.

It never mattered what you were waiting for, or how long you had to sit in a hard-backed bench in the dreary cold or at what godless (I think 'god' has long stopped meaning the way it was once held, I think now it is just a scream) time of day you had to wake up in order to make the train (always fifteen minutes to spare, at least)

you were so good at waiting. You would simply sit, and settle in, and for that time, the world was your home. I have never seen that peaceful anywhere else, not even in your casket

but I suppose you were done waiting, by then.

I won't pretend I was good for you.

But I think we destroyed each other nicely.

After the police left, I didn't move for 3 days. (You would think I might have been found. You would be wrong.)

The only thing that roused me was that the sun coming in through the god-damned blinds (you always did forget to pull them closed at night- you said the room was better with starlight and even as I tossed and turned, I had to agree).

It was 3 months later, standing in the grocery store with a handful of radishes and a candy bar that I heard the Mountain Goats' 'Woke Up New':

'The first time I made coffee for just myself I made too much of it But I drank it all just 'cause you hate it when I let things go to waste'

and I realised I was still living with you.

Even now, I keep thinking that you're in every flick of my needle (mocking a stray stitch)

at every corner (waiting to surprise me with another awful dinner)

behind every door (and had you remembered to turn on the lights this time)

(and every other cliché we can foist into this cavalcade)

and I think I've decided:

I'm okay with you.

When my cousin's ex-girlfriend died

(I still think about how once she promised to kiss me goodnight and I laid awake, excited, because I really thought she might; I wonder if my knack for naïve hope in ridiculous situations serves me now, but I can't imagine it matters either way; I think you would still be here regardless)

I asked him how he wanted it to feel, when he looked back on this pain.

He said: 'I want it to always feel profound'.

It shocked me then; it seemed almost weak to want to cling to what could only hurt.

But that was then.

And I like the stories that don't end well, the ones that leave you with this bittersweet tang-

(because aren't we just pendulums swinging back around to where we started? And wasn't our beginning nothing?)

and I like knowing that when I go to sleep, you will once have slept next to me

and that if someday that spot ever morphs to someone else's impression, you will still have been there.

And I like that I didn't win (that I use the dishwasher now- they say it uses less water, after all)

that you didn't triumph over every affront (that the blinds are drawn now)

that the story didn't resolve into sugar-sweet (lips on lips on lips on lips)

and that we broke against each other (glass or bones, you choose).

I like that we were real.

'It didn't change anything. It didn't save anyone...

but it still matters that the love was there.'

@starpeace, thank you for your words.

*

words by @starpeace

[mindovermatterismagicc]

oh i love you so much. i just feel so loving towards you tonight i just want to write my heart out. i never thought id be so in love ever, honestly before you i thought i was the most unlovable person, thank you for showing me what love is, all my life ive never felt love reciprocated to me but this time knowing that even if i dont love myself or believe in myself one day therell be atleast one person who would disagree. i cannot tell you enough how much of an impact youve had on my life, ive never been happier, i dont feel depressed anymore knowing youll always be there for me and how youve told me how i mean to you and that youre so proud of me. it goes such a long way i promise. the efforts you take for me and how much you adjust things for me whether it be ruining your sleep schedule or calling me in a train, it brings such a smile to my face knowing that wow man someone is so in love with me that theyre willing to go out of their way to do all this for me. i feel loved, i feel so fullfilled and i feel so not lonely anymore. thank you for healing a part of me i didnt know i needed to be touched, 13 year old vivaan no longer wants to kill himself and thinks life is entirely depressing anymore, because you made it shine, you brought light to my life and now you are my life, youre all i look after all i want, every thought, every action everything just comes down to you good or bad and thats beautiful that it settles to you because theres nothing i would want mean ore to me than you. 217/365 days. and ive only seen you for 2 of them but im not going to go on that sad path of how i miss it and everything because whats the point of being sad about it anymore? it was such a happy time and just so surreal and blissful it felt like nothing mattered in this world, it felt like it was just us and just hapiness. baby i can only fill my journal pages with you and asking you to come here i can only go to temples and ask god for you to come here too, i can only manifest for you to come here. theres not much i can do but im doing everything in my power for it, and i hope youre trying your best too, and im sure if its meant to happen and if im deserving enough to see you again according to god that time will come. please if you come here please surprise me okay?. we can only be optimistic and thats how we should be. i miss you so much everyday baby but talking to you makes me feel better about myself and life in general life doesnt feel so bad for the x minutes we talk and i really love that. 217 days and i only want this counter to never stop, i love how enthusisastic we are about each other everyday and just the way we sort things out, love each other be there for each other is goals and im so glad my first relationship turned out like this. theres nobody id want my first kiss to be on an empty metro station at 10:42am. on a personal level, im so proud of you baby i dont remind you enough as you remind me but i will from now, youre the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and just lovable person ive met and i literally mean it. you go through so much and even though you sleep through it most its tough to be you somedays and its tough to manage being so smart and just all that life brings you down for. im always going to be your biggest fan baby except when you colour your hair or get a piercing but ( jk i would love you as much still ) yeah im always going to be there for you, youre a good student, girlfriend, friend, sister and most importantly youre a beautiful human, and i mean that fromhow gorgeous you look to your morals and your so swwet heart. theres nobody like you and im glad there is nobody like you because youre all id ever want and i never want to let go off your hand.

i love you so so much baby i promise you that you mean the world to me and i never want to lose you.

there would be no vivaan without you my love, there would be no happy vivaan without sanskriti.

[greynatomy]

Memories

Florence Pugh x Fem!Reader

This is my first story post and only part one of this series. Probably will be a three part series. Let me know what you guys think.

The cast of Hawkeye are hanging out at Hailee Steinfeld’s house for a little cast gathering. They’re all halfway through finishing filming the series and thought it’d be a great idea to get to know each other better. A couple hours in, they all hear a door open, a woman carrying grocery bags walk in from the garage, dropping the bags on top of the counter.

“Darling? Could you give me a hand? Someone’s fallen asleep, but I’ve got all this I need to bring insid—”

Having heard this person’s voice, Florence eyes go wide as well as Y/N’s, her eyes meeting Florence’s.

“Y/N.” Florence said, barely having heard by anyone, but Y/N caught it.

“Florence.” She said, coolly.

———

Peacefully playing with her toys under the tree, Florence’s attention is quickly turned to a girl who fell right in front of her. Getting up quickly, she makes her way to the girl, helping her up.

“You okay?”

“Yup. Okay.” The girl turned her attention to the toys that Florence was playing with. “Woah! That’s cool.”

“Yeah. Wanna play.”

“Yeah.” After a bit of playing. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Florence.”

“We’re going to be bestest friends.”

~~~

“What are you reading?” Y/N asks, sitting beside Florence under the tree.

“It’s called Little Women. Great read.”

“Fascinating.”

“What have you been up to?”

“I’ve done quite a bit of writing actually. Just got to find the best tune to go with it.”

“Play if for me?”

“Of course.”

~~~

“Thank you for meeting me here.”

“Yeah, of course.” Florence replied, sitting across from Y/N, under the tree. “Why’d you ask me to meet you here?”

“Well, I’ve just finished writing something and I wanted to play it for you. Would that be alright?”

“You know how much I love it when you sing.”

Girl, I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

“Is that about me?” Florence asked, tears streaming down her face.

“Uh, yeah. Having known you for years, I’ve realized that I have fallen in love with you, and I’ve tried to suppress my feelings, but clearly it hasn’t worked. So, if you reject me now, it’s alright cause, we are best friends first and we can just forget that thi—”

“Y/N!” Florence said, cutting her off. “You haven’t even asked me yet.” 

“Oh.” Clearing her throat. “Well, Florence Rose Pugh, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Oh my God! I would love too.” She said, giving Y/N a bruising kiss.

~~~

Getting out of the car, Y/N carries takeout on one hand and a bouquet of red roses in the other. She sees Florence’s car parked in front of the house, so she knows she’s home.

“Darling?” She calls out, after opening the door. “Flor, honey? I’m home!” Still no reply. She puts everything down on the kitchen counter and makes her way to their room. 

On the way there, Y/N hears noises, more like moans. She carefully opens the bedroom door and her face pales when she sees Florence and her director, Zach Braff, entangled under the sheets of the bed she shares with Florence. Florence looks towards the door, seeing her girlfriend stood there.

“Y/N.” She said in a whisper and voice of horror.

Y/N walks away, grabbing her keys and wallet, ignoring Florence calling out to her. Suddenly a hand grabs her arm. She pulls away, as if that arm suddenly burnt her.

“Don’t touch me!” Y/N exclaimed, turning around to face her girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend now. She sees her, now dressed in panties and a shirt, Zach’s shirt.

“I-it’s not what it loo—”

“Oh, shut up! Don’t give me that ‘it’s not what it looks like’ bullshit because it is exactly what it looks like.” Y/N starts pacing back and forth, Florence not knowing how to calm her down. “I should have known. You were pulling away. Always missing dates, leaving dates, not coming home until late. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

“Yes, I am. My girlfriend has been cheating on me for so long and I just turned a blind eye and kept telling myself that she loves me and would never do such a horrid thing.” Y/N reached into the front of her pants pocket, pulling out a small, black, velvet box, tossing it to Zach. “Here. You could use that more than me, cause if it isn’t clear enough. We are over.” With that, Y/N walked out the front door, got in her car and drove away.

Florence turns to Zach, grabbing the item thrown at him. Seeing the item, Florence breaks down to the ground, finally realizing how much she fucked up and lost the one person who truly loved her.

[jerrienelock]

Without You - Sadie Sink

Takes place after the filming of Stranger Things Season 3

Exhausted.

Sadie is exhausted from all her sleepless nights. The sleep she longs for, no longer around, not since you left. She misses your presence, your hugs, your delicate words, your gentle touches. She just wants to be in your arms relishing in your radiant warmth, feeling your loving kisses to the back of her head.

She just wishes you had told her how you were feeling before that fateful day happened.

Splashes of water coat her face, trying to wake herself up, and cleanse her mind of you so she is prepared for her first interview since you left. Sadie shuts the water off, her hands now firmly on the sink. Her gaze locks with her reflection. Her once smooth skin, disturbed with protruding deep purple bags under her broken teal eyes. Her lips automatically dropping into a deep miserable frown, she finds no need for her mouth to break away from that position for it was practically engraved into her skin.

But soon she will have to tear it out and upturn the frown in a mask of joy and perfection. She doesn't want to do that, she just wants to go home and cry into one of your hoodies and not come out for days on end or until filming starts up again.

She should be strong, but without you there it feels like her whole world is slowly falling apart, and just a gentle push can send it tumbling down. You were her rock, her saviour, her superhero that fends off all the bad guys for her.

But now that you're gone, she has to do that all alone.

An interview without you at her side feels so daunting, she won't be able to clutch onto your hands when she feels a slight bit of nerves. She won't be able to rely on you to get through the merciless questions that will only be worse, now that you're gone.

"Sades?" A soft voice calls from behind the bathroom door. Sadie quickly stands up straight and regains her composure just as the door opens to reveal Millie. "Oh Sades," The Fifteen-year-old says sympathetically opening her arms for the redhead.

Sadie instantly buries herself into the younger girl. "I miss her." She mutters into Millie's shoulder.

"I miss her too."

Millie tightens the hug and she stands there holding Sadie with all her might, afraid that if she were to let go the older girl will break down and shatter right in front of her. But she could feel Sadie begin to sob and heave in her arms. "It's okay," Millie hushes the girl, her one hand rubbing Sadie's back delicately.

After a few more minutes Sadie tears away brushing away her running tears, "I got given the camera she would do her diary entries on. Could we maybe watch it later, at my house with the boys?"

Millie nods, "We would love to do that. Now come Sades, we have to go, it's going to start soon."

The interview was the longest two hours of Sadie's life, she wanted to hide away from all the questions and sympathetic looks she had been given throughout. Noah had noticed her discomfort and had his hand placed on hers comforting the hurting redhead all throughout. The rest of the cast had helped with the questions she had found quite hard to answer, the one's involving you, and how she was feeling since your passing.

But now she sits in her living room cuddled into Millie, with your stuffed dog, watching as the boys try to hook up your old camera, all arguing as they figure out what cable goes where. This earns a small smile from Sadie.

Soon the boys get the camera working and instantly your bright cheery face pops up on the TV. Sadie sits up a little straighter at the sight of you, her heart both racing and aching at the same time. Millie pulls the girl closer to her, in a way of further comforting her but also to make room for Caleb who wanted to sit next to the pair while the others sat on the ground in front of the couch.

"Hello!" Your voice exclaims through the speakers. "Welcome to Diary Entry One! I am as you can see on the set of Stranger Things Season Two!" The camera flicks around showing the bustling set before flicking back around.

The cast knew exactly when this first took place, the first day of filming just after they had all met Sadie.

"We got a new girl here as well, her name is Sadie Sink." You gush into the camera, a pink hue evident on your cheeks. "She's really nice... and pretty." You murmur the last part looking off to the side. "Anyways! Let's go see her!" You quickly rush off to where you had been looking at, camera in tow and stop at a then fifteen-year-old Sadie, "Hello bloody tampon, say hi to the camera!"

Everyone laughs, including Sadie who remembers that exact moment.

"What did you just call me?" Sadie questions in disbelief and You laugh, "You heard me." Before Sadie could say anything else, you quickly leave and shut the camera off.

"Hello!" You shout  with Finn alongside you, "This is, drum roll please Wolf boy," Finn drums his hands on his lap, "Diary Entry Two!" You and Finn cheer loudly capturing the attention of some of the crew members behind you. They immediately hush you both as they film a scene involving Sadie and Caleb. You and Finn quietly apologise before making your way over to Dacre who speaks with Natalia and Joe.

"Dacre!" Finn calls out causing the man to stop and turn to them, a bright smile on his face.

"Hello Lacey, Mike. What can I do for you?"

"Can you answer some-" Finn begins but you cut him off abruptly

"Is Sadie single?"

Finn turns to you and the camera wide-eyed. Dacre raises a brow, throwing a quick glance over to Natalia and Joe. "I don't know? Why, are you interested?"

Your voice sounds panicked from behind the camera, "No! I mean, Finn is."

"Y/n!" Finn shouts, "I don't!" He quickly grabs the camera from your grip and turns it to face a laughing you before cutting the feed.

"Oh, so that's how that rumour sprouted. You look so scared," Sadie giggles and Finn sends her a mocking glare.

"I didn't know she was going to say that okay?" He chuckles.

The next video rolls on and it shows both Sadie and you.

You set the camera down in front of Sadie who was busy getting her hair done. She eyes the camera cautiously as the stylist ducks out the way slightly. "This is Diary Entry number three... I think," You sit down on a chair next to her, your stylist moving in to prep your hair. "We are almost finished filming!" You smile and look over to Sadie who does a quick glance at you. "Anyways, it's time."

"Time for what?" Sadie quiers

"Time for the questions silly," You laugh tilting your head back as your stylist  combs your hair. "First question, how has your time on set been?"

"It's been great! Everyone is amazing!"

"Everyone? You sure you don't mean just me?"

Sadie giggles, "Sure."

A few more questions were asked, them mainly being about how she has felt about her time acting and being forced in a room with you and the others. She had opened up slightly about how she felt kind of isolated in the beginning due to everyone already knowing each other until You and Millie kindly took her under your wing.

"Okay last question, do you have eyes for anyone?" You smirk and Sadie goes silent.

"No comment," You gasp.

"What! Sadelyn Sinkhole does have eyes on someone," You lean forward much to your stylests dismay as she pulls you back. "Who is it?"

Once again Sadie replies, "No comment." and you huff.

"I will get it out of you. It may not be today, but it will happen someday."

Sadie's cheeks turn pink and she can't help but hide her smile in your stuffed teddy, reminiscing about how she had ended up spilling her feelings to you not even a day later. To her surprise back then you had reciprocated her feelings and even managed to steal her first kiss, she doing the same to you.

The next video rolls on with you beaming once again in the camera.

"Hello!" You exclaim once again, in the background was the cast in their season two attire watching you with smiles. "This is Diary Entry number four, we have now finished the infamous season two!" The group breaks out into cheers and a round of applause, and you place the camera down on a stand so that everyone was in the frame and move back to go sit next to Sadie, pushing Finn out of the way in the process.

"I can't believe you couldn't tell she liked you!" Finn exclaims gesturing to the action you had pulled. "Your girlfriend literally pushed me out of my seat," He laughs making Sadie snigger.

"So Caleb Mclaughlin." You start, capturing the young boy's attention, "How was it like to kiss the gorgeous Max Mayfield, the infamous MadMax," You tease and the boy bows his head in embarrassment, Everyone laughs and so do you but it was cut short as you began to cough. "You okay Y/n?" Sadie questions and you nod while Sadie not so sneakily brings her hand into yours.

"Wait!" Millie jumps in disbelief her eyes trained at the holding hands, "Were you two a couple then?" She flickers her gaze over to Sadie who turns as red as her hair, "Oh my God! We thought you two got together just before Season Three." Millie smiles slapping Sadie's leg jokingly, "You dirty dogs!"

The entry's continue, this time mostly showing you and Sadie alone. Most of the time, your hands were wrapped around her waist while she holds the camera up at you two in various locations.

"First date!" Sadie exclaims looking lovingly over at you.

*

"Can you see me?" You question trying to look over into the camera to see if you were in the frame- you in fact were not.

* "Sades!" You call out for her from her living room. "I got you something!" The camera flicks down to a necklace with a small pendant in your hand.

While that video shows, Sadie herself glances down at the necklace you had given her and fiddles with it, her heart fluttering in her chest.

*

"Do you think they'll freak out when we tell them?" Sadie questions fiddling with your hand as the camera shows you both walking back onto the set for a reading. You nod, "Oh, most definitely." The camera cuts and then turns back onto an unknowing Millie waiting for you both at the entrance to the reading.

"Y/n! Sadie!- Woah." Millie's eyes go wide as she spots your hands, "Are you two?" She gestures between the both of you. Sadie confirms with a kiss of your cheek causing her to squeal and run in to tell everyone.

* "Hello! And we're back! Season Three of Stranger Things, it's your favourite character Aunt Helga speaking." You laugh at your own words, "I'm joking, it's the best character out of the show, Dustins' sister Lacey. Today we are as usual on our first day back at filming." You cheer, "This is Diary Entry number five."

"Y/n! Where are you?" Dacre calls out in the background, "You have to go get pepper-sprayed in the face!" You widen your eyes slightly, and Dacre appears behind you, "It's just water don't worry."

The camera cuts but then is turned back on to show a smiling Dacre, he flips the camera around and it shows you being dunked in the Henderson's kitchen sink by Caleb and Sadie. "I'm drowning!" You yell out gasping for breaths. "I'd rather you drown than go blind, Lacey," Sadie comments in Max's character. Caleb goes to turn off the tap but instead accidentally turns it on full speed, the water hitting you right in the mouth making you choke and develop a coughing fit. "I didn't mean to literally drown her!" Sadie yells and Caleb throws his hand up defensively, "My hands slipped."

That scene was a blooper itself but yet it was still kept in the actual show.

Many more diary entries ended up being full of bloopers, you hanging with Sadie and sometimes the rest of the crew until it started to change.

There you stand in front of the camera, your hands clutching your chest tightly, "My chest hurts." You croak out, tears swelling in your eyes from the pain.

The cast visibly sit a little straighter at the sight of you.

You stand there for a few more seconds just holding onto your chest before finally you drop your hands down and stand straighter. You furrow your brows, "It's gone. I don't know what it is but it's been happening a lot lately." You announce but quickly shrug it off as you hear your name being called. You grab onto the camera and run out where Sadie is standing waiting for you with a bright white smile. You grab onto your girlfriend's hand and you walk off to your next scene.

Another video rolls on this time showing you setting the camera down in a position so that it showed the set you were on. You are then seen dashing back onto set and getting onto your starting position with Gaten at your side. The video goes on as normal with the familiar star court scene and then all the way to the end, with Dacre having moved it for you to get the right angles where you stand near a casted officer, signalling the end of the filming process.

"Cut," The director yells and cheers are heard all around. You jump up and hug the nearest person to you, this being Sadie and enrapturing her into a joyful kiss before moving on to everyone else.

The mood is noticeably ecstatic and everyone is busy cleaning up, with you having a quick word with Sadie before going to head for your still recording camera, shouting a 'Shut up' to Caleb who had mocked what you said to your girlfriend. Your smile is bright and inviting until it drops to a stone cold expression.

And then you were seen clutching onto your chest, feet staggering and skin paling before dropping to the floor.

"Y/n!" Gaten screams hurtling over to you, just in time to catch you. You weren't moving and the camera shows it, it shows everything happening at that exact moment. It shows Gatens terrified face as he shakes you, trying to wake you up. It shows crew members flying over to you in a hurry. It shows your girlfriend and the others staring at you horrified and worried.

"Someone call an ambulance!" The director yells shoving past all crew members who were just crowded around you. Immediately chest compressions were started.

"Oh God," Caleb murmurs his teary eyes entranced on the TV. He wants to look away but he can't.

Sadie sniffles, her heart aching tremendously at the screen.

Millie and Finn hold a sobbing Sadie in the far corner of the screen, while Noah is seen dashing for the camera and turning it off.

They thought it was the end but another clip rolls and a bloodshot eyed Sadie Sink appears in one of your hoodies, holding your stuffed dog close to her chest. She was in your dressing room, it was known by the pictures you had placed on the walls of your family and the cast behind Sadie.

"Hi Y/n," Sadie croaks out, voice breaking instantly. She can't speak, her throat hurts and her tears just flow out coating your stuffed animal with her tears. "I miss you. It's only been a few hours since you left us, but I miss you so much." She brings your hoodie to wipe away a few of her tears, "I just want to say I love you."

Sadie can't look at the video anymore, her heart aching in great amounts in her chest, her bottom lip quivering noticeably. She turns and shoves her head directly into a saddened Millie who immediately takes her into her arms. Sadie wishes it was you instead.

She can still hear her own shattering voice in the video, each word breaking and every sentence ending with a cry. A cry of mourning. A cry for you. A cry for you to just come back and tell her you're not going anywhere. A cry for her broken heart.

Sobs wrack Sadie's body and a loud cry exits her making the crying cast members cast looks of sorrow, heartbreak and pain at her.

The video proceeds and Sadie is now still sat in your chair, this time not saying anything. Your stuff dog is latched to her chest, her chin sitting on top of the toy while she runs little patterns on her knee- something you would do to her when you felt nervous in interviews or big events. And then the door quietly opens and Sadie is seen turning back abruptly, her head shaking furiously.

"No, no, no, no," She sobs as your dad steps foot into the trailer there to retrieve your stuff. "Please can I keep the camera, please!" Your dad shakes his head sadly, tears in his own eyes as he reaches down to grab hold of the device.

"Please!" Sadie begs, "I can't live without her. I can't live without seeing her!"

The camera cuts off.

***

Masterlist; celebrities

[somnambulants]

omg i think it’s considered a little bit of a pride mont hate crime that you don’t have MORE nat fics 🥺 so hehehe how about i request some pouty jealous!nat?

Notes: omg thank u! happy pride 💛 this went super off topic BUT i hope you still like it! jealous!nat is my new favorite thing. 

Summary: Natasha may have a little bit of jealous streak. You discover you don’t mind. Word count: 3.8K

You are not a jealous person.

That’s not to say that you aren’t prone to bouts of insecurity, you definitely are, and especially at the beginning of your relationship with Natasha. For the first few months after you’d begun dating, you’d been on edge the entire time; in a constant state of wondering, agonising, for the day she’d finally realise you weren’t good enough for her and up and leave.

Through all of that, you’d never given a lot of thought to whether your girlfriend is the jealous type. Mostly because Natasha is the most beautiful person you’d ever seen but also because it’s not like she would ever have a reason to be jealous; the minute you’d met, you had never so much as wanted to look at another person.

The thought never crossed your mind. It was laughable to you.

As unbelievable of an idea as it is, you’ve been together for just a few months when it slowly begins to dawn on you that you may not be the jealous type, but Natasha most definitely is.

--

In all – although admittedly, there weren’t a lot – of her relationships, Natasha has never cared enough to worry about being jealous over a significant other. 

This is why the visceral reaction she has to watching people flirt with you comes as such a surprise to her.

The first time it happens, you’d only just begun dating and were at one of the many events the avengers were required to attend. Still wanting to stay as low-key as possible, you’d both privately agreed to not spend the night attached to one another. 

Something Natasha is now beginning to regret. Immensely.

Currently, you’re across the room, talking to a woman Natasha vaguely recognises as a reporter and all she can focus on is the way the woman is looking at you. 

It makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up because Natasha knows that look; has given you that look many times over the course of your relationship – a hungry, I want you right now, kind of look.

“Nat!”

Steve suddenly materialises beside her and the fact that she didn’t see him coming is evidence of how distracted she is. It makes her scowl even harder. Taking in her expression, he all of a sudden looks like he’s trying not to laugh as he follows her gaze to where you were standing. “You feeling okay? You’re looking a little…green.”

She resists the urge to kick him in the stomach. “Bite me, Rogers.”

He snickers and starts to say something else, but whatever it is, it’s lost on her as the sound of your voice across the room acts as a honing beacon and regains her attention immediately.

She watches, grip tightening around her drink, as you throw your head back, laughing at some joke the woman must’ve made. Seeing this as a green light, the woman leans in, brushing a lone piece of hair over your shoulder. 

It doesn’t matter that Natasha can see how your spine immediately straightens up, or how you step back to widen the gap between you and your admirer.It doesn’t matter that you very clearly don’t return the attention being given to you. 

It doesn’t matter. None of it matters because all Natasha can see and feel is red. If she had the ability to burn people with her eyes, that woman would have been incinerated on the spot. There wouldn’t even be tiny little dust particles left behind.

In the midst of her rage, she doesn’t even register the glass in her hand shattering until she’s covered in glass and red wine and there’s blood running down her wrist.

The sound of the glass breaking makes a good portion of the room’s occupants turn around to stare, you included. Instantly, you’re at her side, cradling her hand between your own.

“What happened?”

In its current state, Natasha’s brain seems to be lacking its usual quick thinking, and she just stares at you dumbly for a second until she spots the reporter you’d been talking to skulking in the background, watching with a petulant look on her face, evidently irritated by the interruption and the white-hot rage comes flooding back even more ferocious than before.

God, that insipid woman is lucky this event was specified no weapons allowed because if Natasha had a gun right now, she --

“--Natasha?”

You’re looking at her with worry in your eyes and as much as she’d love to go ‘accidentally’ push that woman off the edge of this very tall building’s balcony to a very certain death, she feels her insides soften into mush as they often do when you’re around.

“I’m fine,” she says. “Accident.”

It’s a flimsy excuse and one that wouldn’t fly on a normal day, especially not with you. She watches you purse your lips, giving her a doubtful look but you seem to make the decision to let it go as you lead her out of the room with the intent to find something to clean her up with.

--

You may not be a trained spy or even the most perceptive person on your best day, but you can still sense it when something is up – especially with Natasha. After the party, you’d had an inkling that maybe your girlfriend wasn’t telling you the whole truth and that something else was actually going on but after seeing the look in her eye, you hadn’t pushed her.

In spite of her unwillingness to share, a few weeks later your inkling is confirmed.

“I’ll order this time,” you yell over the loud music at the bar you were currently at. It was not your scene at all – or Natasha’s but Carol had recommended it on her last trip back to this earth and after a long, long week, you’d both agreed you deserved a night out, away from avengers’ duties and this is where you’d ended up.

Natasha gives you a nod and you stand, only having to wait at the bar for a few seconds before the bartender makes a b-line for you, ignoring the grumbles from the patrons that had been clearly waiting a lot longer than you.

“What can I get you?”

You recite Natasha’s drink, then your own and the bartender makes them with record speed. When you try to hand her the bill to pay, she waves her hand dismissively and gives you a grin. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t –“

The bartender, who you now realise is quite pretty, runs a finger along the back of your hand and gives you a wink that is definitely more flirty than friendly. “Believe me, it’s my pleasure.”

You sigh in defeat, giving her a smile in thanks and turn back around, making your way back to your table in the corner of the room where your girlfriend is still sitting but now with a face like thunder. 

To anyone else, Natasha would probably look neutral but to you – well, you can see the irritated look in her eye and the slight crease between her brows and you know she’s pissed.

In the future, you’d look back and want to slap yourself for not seeing it straight away but in the present it just makes you a little worried.

“Everything okay?” you ask, setting the drinks down on the table. You think about all the possibilities of what could’ve happened in the short time you’d been gone and try not to panic. “Did something –"

“No,” Natasha says and then seems to realise the sharpness in her voice because her face softens in apology. She leans over to give you a quick kiss and it makes you relax slightly. “Everything’s fine.”

Comprehension starts to trickle in when she scoots over so she can wrap an arm around your shoulder to pull you closer, and when you follow her line of sight, you realise she’s glaring over your head at the bartender, who pales immediately and doesn’t so much as look in your direction again.

Oh, you feel your eyes widen as it finally hits you: oH.

You look down into your drink and try to hide your disbelieving smile as you finally understand: she’s jealous. 

If it were anyone else, you think you probably wouldn’t feel like this – would likely be outright irritated and a little offended at the behaviour -- but with Natasha you can’t help but find it kind of … cute.

A little giddily, you lean over to press a kiss to her jaw and feel her relax a little against you. “Wanna go after this one?”

Natasha’s face doesn’t change but you see a little shift in her eyes as she nods and pulls you in for another kiss, this one a little more heated – for your benefit or the bartenders, you don’t know, and don’t particularly mind either way as you let yourself get lost in it.

--

After that night, it becomes so apparent to you and you don’t know how you’d missed it all this time. It happens all the time. All. The. Time.

On the street, if someone so much as glances your way, she’s already staring back at them with an expression that would be terrifying even to you if she directed it your way.

At work one day one of the new recruits, a kid, really, comes up to you and asks you, voice trembling if you’d let him take you out someday and the next day Natasha knocks him on his ass so hard and so many times that you’re kind of surprised – and a little impressed—that the poor kid doesn’t quit right on the spot.

Even in your apartment building, one of your maybe-slightly too friendly neighbours gets similar treatment in the elevator one night when you and Natasha are returning to the building at the same time as her. 

Just as you enter the elevator, you hear the voice of your neighbour calling out.

“Hold the door!”

Panting, your neighbour enters the small space. “Thank you so much, I have had the worst, oh –” her eyes land on Natasha beside you and she looks at her with something you can’t quite place in her eyes. “Who’s your …friend?”

“Oh!” you exclaim and you know you must sound surprised. Was it not obvious from how Natasha was always here that you were dating? “This is Natasha. My girlfriend. Nat, this is Charlotte, my neighbour.”

You can see Natasha in the reflection of the elevator walls, so you see the smug self-satisfied look she gives your neighbour as she wraps an arm around you possessively.

So, yes while you notice it all now, you still don’t say anything because a small – and by small, you mean large, massive actually – part of you kind of likes it; likes the fact that the Natasha Romanoff, the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen in your life is somehow yours and even more unbelievably, somehow she thinks you’re worth getting worked up like that over.

--

At this point, you’ve been dating for over a year and somehow it must’ve slipped the memo to let all of the avengers know because somehow every time you’re at the office, it seems like a new person is finding out about your relationship. 

It’s really hard to keep up with everyone and their individual missions, which is how you find yourself in your current predicament.

“--ah, well-well,” a familiar voice calls out and you look up from the report you’d been studying. “If it isn’t the most attractive and coincidentally my favourite honorary avenger.”

In the doorway of your office, Sam is grinning at you in that playful, flirty but also joking kind of way that’s distinctly Sam Wilson. You grin back and stand to let him pull you into a hug.

“Did you just get back?” you ask, vaguely remembering him telling you he was going on a mission at least six months ago. You think it was in Istanbul, but you can’t quite remember the specifics. 

Sam pulls back and goes to open his mouth but doesn’t get the chance to speak as Natasha appears in the doorway.

“Samuel,” she drawls his name, eyeing his arm around you. She visibly brightens up when she looks at you, though. “Y/N”

You can’t see yourself, but you know your face must light up as your eyes land on her by the sudden realisation that crosses Sam’s face. The casual kiss she drops on your cheek comes as confirmation.

His mouth drops open as he looks between you both. “Oh damn, you two?” he asks, smiling genuinely. “Damn!”

To the naked eye, Natasha doesn’t seem amused by his revelation, but you know her well enough by now to be able to spot the glimmer of humour in her eyes. 

Sam, however, doesn’t seem to be adept at reading her as you are and so when she advances a little closer, his eyes widen and he immediately backs away.

“I didn’t know! I didn’t know!” he exclaims, hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry!”

The expression on Natasha’s face turns sinister in nature. You watch and try not to laugh at her theatrics, attempting to adopt a sympathetic expression when he desperately looks to you for help.

“Well,” Natasha says, faux-friendly. As she passes by him, she gives him what looks like a bone-shatteringly hard arm squeeze – if the pained expression on Sam’s face is any indication -- and comes to stand beside your desk. “Now you know, buddy.”

“That I do,” he says, backing up until he reaches the door. “Anyways, I gotta, uh –"

Not even finishing his sentence, he high-tails it out of the room so fast you barely see him leave. You turn to Natasha with a frown. She looks back at you innocently, but you catch the way her lip twitches a little bit before she breaks into a full blown smirk.

“You’re going to give someone have a heart attack one day, you know,” you say, half-serious. “I’m kind of surprised you haven’t already.”

Unbothered, Natasha shrugs and reaches out to tug you closer to her in order to kiss you, a little more intensely than you would normally allow at work. You melt into it with a sigh, smiling a little. 

Eventually, you have to pull away when you start to struggle to breathe and your head starts spinning. Natasha makes an unhappy sound, trying to follow, but you stand firm.

“Nope, you’ve got to go before I’m the one that has the heart attack.”

With a pout, she gives you one more kiss before she gives into your request.

--

You’ve never seen Natasha drunk before – hadn’t even thought she could get drunk but tonight she’s definitely wasted -- all thanks to Thor and whatever is in the mead he’d bought with him.

One thing you quickly realise about drunk Natasha is drunk Natasha also means confrontational Natasha.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about –”

Her and Tony are almost nose to nose at this point, about ten minutes into what was now a heated conversation, and you’re kind of wondering if either of them even knows what they’re arguing about. You don’t think so and by the looks on the other avengers faces, they seem to have as much of an idea as you do.

As Natasha and Tony continue to argue, you look to your left and the young waiter who’d been hovering by your table a little too attentively all night is immediately by your side. 

So Natasha can’t see you, you quickly mouth the word water to him and thankfully he seems to understand because he gives you a quick nod and then disappears, reappearing just as swiftly with a glass in his hand.

“Here, Miss –"

“No!” Ending her argument with Tony as abruptly as it began, Natasha jabs a finger at the waiter, who looks to you for help while she glares up at him balefully. 

The poor guy looks terrified, so you quickly intervene, touching Natasha’s knee to bring her attention back to you. It does the trick, but she seems to underestimate how close in proximity you already are and she ends up half in your lap to the delight of the other avengers in attendance, who all let out various different whistles.

“Mine,” she says childishly into the crook of your arm. You only just manage to pick it up so you know you must be the only person who heard her. With your help, she sits up a little and makes eye contact with you as she repeats herself, more seriously, as if you hadn’t understood the first time: “mine.”

“I – oh --okay,” you say, grabbing her hand as it starts to creep a little too low to be polite in your current company. “How about we get you home?”

After hurriedly saying your goodbyes, twenty minutes later you park in your driveway and begin the not-so-small feat of getting her inside.

“Damn,” you grunt a little under her weight as you help her up the stairs to your apartment. “What do they put into that Asgardian mead?”

You make a mental note to ask Thor about it and then promptly forget as you reach your front door and fumble around, looking for your keys. 

Even in her inebriated state, Natasha somehow pulls herself together enough to reach into your bag and pull them put for you so you can unlock the door.

Which she promptly falls through. You just manage to catch her before she hits the floor, and she leans against you, burying her face into your neck.

“Come on,” you order gently, softening as she groans into your skin. “Bed.”

“No.”

As if to emphasise the word, Natasha shakes her head, but to your surprise, she starts to make her way to your bedroom anyway. She’s still a little unsteady on her feet but nothing like you’d be if you’d drank as much as she had. If it were you, you would definitely have been comatose about seven shots and multiple hours ago.

“Alright, you get into bed,” you say. “And I’ll get you some water, okay?”

Natasha scowls. “No,” she says. You bite your lip to hold in your laugh at the petulance you hear in her voice, shadowing her to the bed, where she immediately sits down and attempts multiple times to take off her heels with little success.

“No?”

Finally having enough of watching her struggle, you lean down and undo the straps of her heels, gently pulling them off her feet. You watch as she flops back on the bed and then covers her face dramatically with a groan. “You don’t get it,” she says unsteadily.

“I don’t get what?”

“You’re mine,” she repeats her earlier words, uncovering her eyes to look at you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Am I now?”

You thought you’d managed to cover your amusement pretty well until you see the glare she shoots you that says she can see it loud and clear. After a beat of silence it becomes clear she’s not going to say anything else.

With difficulty, you slowly manage to get her into a sitting position and help her out of her dress, pulling the covers up around her and retrieving a glass of water that you place on her nightstand so she can drink it in the morning.

You then change yourself and go the bathroom to remove what makeup you’d had on. To your surprise, she’s still awake when you emerge, half-propped up against the headboard and looking at you with bleary, unfocused eyes. It makes your heart turn to mush immediately and you get into bed beside her as quickly as your feet allow.

She immediately curls up into you and you wrap an arm around her, pulling her as close to you as humanly possible. 

“I am yours, just so you know.”

There’s a second of silence where you start to think that maybe she’s fallen asleep, until she shifts against you to meet your gaze, looking a little more alert and coherent but still out of it.

“Good,” she says softly.

The next morning, you wake before Natasha and slip out of bed to make her coffee and to find some pain killers, having a gut feeling she’ll probably need them. Your feeling turns out to be right. When you re-enter the bedroom, she’s laying face-down but clearly awake by the muffled groaning you can hear coming from her.

“Whys’it so bright,” she mumbles into the mattress as you approach the bed, turning her head ever so slightly so she can meet your eyes. You grin down at her.

“Ah, it awakens.”

She scowls up at you and you laugh, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek as you slide back into bed, careful not to jostle her too much. She leans her head against your leg, slowly sipping the glass of water you’d left for her last night before reaching for the coffee on the nightstand.

You fall into a comfortable silence; you running your hand through her hair as she drinks her coffee, humming contentedly.

“How are you feeling –"

“I don’t like it when people look at you,” she interrupts suddenly, staring down into her coffee mug and sounding uncharacteristically nervous. You freeze but since she’s not looking at you, she doesn’t seem to notice. “But it’s not because of anything you do. I just don’t … like it.”

“Okay?” you hedge cautiously, not really understanding.

“I’m sorry if it bothers you,” she says. “Me. Being like that. I didn’t know I was even the type to –"

“It doesn’t bother me.”

At your quick interjection, she looks at you for the first time and whatever she sees on your face makes her smile faintly. “It doesn’t?”

You bite your lip. “Not at all.”

She mirrors you, now smirking. “Oh.”

After this, it starts to become a game: one you feel like you win every time.

[fruitcoops]

Night Changes

This isn't based on an ask, but I've had some early-Cap ideas brewing and think about the first time the team heard him laugh a lot. His and James' friendship is so sweet in SW--the beginning of it must have been such a shock to them both. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

So maybe James had bitten off more than he could chew. It wasn’t the first time, to be sure, but coaxing (read: drag kicking and screaming) his new teammate out of the carefully-constructed mosaic of scowls that made up his entire personality was proving to be a little more challenging than he previously expected. With most rookies, all it took was some elbow grease and overenthusiastic inclusion in group events to get them to open up—with his brand-new soon-to-be best friend, he had to handle things a little more delicately.

Sirius Black was a puzzle wrapped up in one of those freaky code-breaking machines from World War Two Lily liked to talk about. He was one of the best hockey players James had ever seen, but off the ice he seemed to shut down. The intense focus on his face smoothed out into almost perfect neutrality, and in the four months since he joined the Lions, he had never once smiled for real in front of the team. He sat in his stall and padded up in silence, then went out and kicked ass before following Pascal home like a living shadow.

Naturally, James took it as a personal mission to pry Sirius Black’s closed-off persona open like a stubborn oyster. He tried including Sirius in group events—the rookie went along with a quiet “yeah, sure”, but sat at the table and nursed a single drink for the entire night. He tried getting into friendly banter with him on the ice, but it was like Sirius had never joked with anyone in his life. Hell, he even tried finding him a girlfriend, which tanked harder than the goddamn Titanic.

“Rookie!” James shouted down the hallway.

Sirius jumped and turned around, obviously confused. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” James laughed, jogging over to toss an arm over his shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

He waited for Sirius to continue, then rolled his eyes and gave him a friendly shake. “C’mon, man, how was your weekend? Has Dumo coerced you into being a stay-at-home babysitter yet?”

Sirius’ frown deepened. “What? I come with him to practice every day.”

Change tactics, change tactics— “Got any plans for Friday?”

James knew the answer, of course; it was always no or not yet or a simple shake of the head. If he was a less observant man, he would have assumed Sirius didn’t actually want to hang out with the team. But the longing looks toward their easy rhythm and the way he always tilted himself toward locker room conversations told a different story. “None yet,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Good, ‘cause I’m having a party at my place and you’re not allowed to miss it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you to be there, duh.” The bewilderment didn’t fade from Sirius’ face, but beneath it—well, maybe James was just seeing things, but he looked almost hopeful. He ruffled Sirius’ hair and headed for the locker room. “Friday at five, rookie! I’ll be waiting!”

--

The week passed in a slog of practices and cold weather. Sirius clammed up more and more as the party drew closer, but James didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered between the rest of them like he was analyzing a play. He would make one hell of a captain someday, if he could just relax a little.

“Hey, rookie, want a ride?” he asked when the big day finally arrived.

“Don’t you want to go home and set up first?” Sirius’ brow furrowed. For an eighteen-year-old kid, he was awfully thoughtful. James couldn’t wait to see him let loose a little. “I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

“It’s a yes or no question,” he teased, poking the bit of exposed shoulder through the widening hole in Sirius’ under armor.

“I…” He faltered, then the corner of his mouth twitched up. It was the closest thing James had seen to a smile from him yet. One point for Potter. “Sure, Pots. Thanks.”

“No problem. Meet me at my car in five or so, yeah?”

“D’accord.”

“Oho, fancy French,” James laughed, turning back to unlace his skates.

It wasn’t until thirty seconds after Sirius left the room that he remembered he never told the rookie what his car looked like. Horrible, terrible visions of the poor guy wandering around the parking lot—or, god forbid, thinking James had left without him—flashed through his mind. It would undo everything he had been working so hard to build.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as he shoved his gear into his duffel with reckless abandon and hurried out of the locker room. His legs would be stiff from trying to run so soon after a grueling drill practice, but it was worth it to save his friend. “Rookie? Hey, Sirius, you still here?”

There was no response. James cursed again and made a beeline for the door to the parking lot. Please, God, don’t let him get lost. I need him to trust me.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he panted as he burst out onto the half-frozen concrete.

Sirius looked up from his phone with a strange expression. “Are you okay?”

“Thought I lost you for a sec.”

“You said to meet at your car, yes?” He glanced between James and the car in sudden worry.

“Yeah, yes, absolutely, I just—” He made an aborted gesture and dug his keys out of his pocket. “I realized I forgot to tell you which one is mine.”

Sirius blinked at him. “I know what your car looks like.”

“How?”

“Because you drive it here every single day and you gave me a ride three weeks ago.”

‘Dumbass’ went unsaid, but James could feel it hanging in the air. He coughed lightly. “Right. Anyway, you can toss your bag wherever and hop in the passenger seat. My place isn’t far from here.”

Sirius took his duffel as he unlocked the car and settled both in the trunk with more care than James’ poor, battered bag had ever seen in its life. That was another thing that confused him about Sirius Black—he was so careful. He walked quietly for someone so tall, and each movement seemed pre-planned.

Each movement, that is, until he tried to get in the car. “Uh, Pots?”

“That’s m—oh.” James covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Sirius tried to fold himself into the passenger seat and failed miserably. “I’m sorry, my girlfriend was sitting there last. Uh, there’s a lever on your right—yeah, there, just give it a pull and—”

With a harsh ka-chunk, the seat slid all the way back. Both men froze. It took everything in James’ power not to burst out laughing at the deer-in-headlights shock on Sirius’ face.

“Yep, that one,” he managed. “Nice job.”

They drove in relative quiet—James chattered on about weekend plans and hummed to the radio while Sirius watched out the window with the occasional monosyllable response. It took James a bit by surprise how comfortable he was, even without a steady stream of banter. Sirius might have been stubborn and silent and determined to foil all James’ plans at getting him to socialize, but he was calming to be near, like an anchor on unsteady water. Despite his overall quiet air, he was obviously paying attention to every word that left James’ mouth.

“You’re a good guy, y’know that?” he said as they turned onto his street. Sirius glanced over in surprise. “Most people tune me out within, like, five minutes.”

“I’m a good listener.”

James opened his mouth to respond, then paused. “Was that—Sirius Black, was that a joke?”

Something akin to mischief—mischief!—crossed his face. “Maybe.”

“Were you roasting me?” James gaped at him. “Oh my god. The guys are never gonna believe this.”

“Probably not.”

“You sick bastard. They won’t believe me.”

“You can give it a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug as the engine turned off. Pieces began to connect in James’ head as he stared, incredulous, at the rookie he thought would never even crack a smile. Four months of work had not been wasted, as he had feared; every joke, every one-sided conversation, and every attempt to get Sirius involved had been seen and heard and taken to heart. When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sirius actively agree to something unless James asked personally.

“We’re friends,” he said aloud, too surprised and too happy to hold it in. Not friends in the way James was with the rest of their loud, over-the-top teammates, but friends all the same.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius said as if it was obvious.

James unbuckled his seatbelt and socked him lightly on the shoulder, barely suppressing a shriek of excitement. “Love you, man. Grab your shit, we’ve got a party to set up.”

----------------

As much as it pained James to say it, having someone around who was six-foot-three was a huge help. There was no blow to his pride as he dragged Lily’s stepstool out; no grudging acceptance that he simply couldn’t reach those last two inches on the wall. Instead, he could foist any and all responsibility on his brand-new best friend in the whole wide world and focus on the things that mattered, like putting anything breakable or important far away from the grubby hands of his inebriated teammates.

His success was still ringing in his ears when the guests finally arrived—throughout the evening, James rode the high of accomplishing his mission to pull Sirius Black into his tight-knit circle. Every minute of those four months was worth it.

Midnight came and went, and by one-thirty in the morning James’ cramped living room was packed with tipsy hockey players in a vague imitation of a circle. “Non, non, I’ve gotta good one,” Dumo said, hiccupping. The room fell quiet as he leaned forward. “What do you call a body of water with a chicken in it?”

“What?” Kasey whispered, starry-eyed like a kid at Christmas.

“A swimming pool.”

The room stayed quiet, and then someone started to laugh. Slowly, they all turned to the source of the noise, and James felt a ripple of shock roll through the team as Sirius snorted. “It’s a swimming pool,” he said around a smile, his accent thick from three drinks. He had a nice laugh; James could get used to hearing it. “Like—poule, like chicken?”

His whole face was alight with happiness. James wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer. That’s what I’ve been waiting for, he thought. That look, right there. Sirius fit in among the group like a missing piece of their puzzle, snickering away as if he hadn’t been stoically silent a day in his life. His laugh was downright bubbly.

“I don’t think they get it,” Dumo said into the rim of his cup.

Sirius shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “D’accord, so—so ‘chicken’ in French is poule, yeah? So a chicken in a body of water is a swimming poule. Do you get it now?”

A few oh’s of understanding washed over them, but several people continued to stare. “Too drink for this,” Sergei grumbled, though James could see the smile pulling at his mouth as Sirius turned to him with bright eyes.

“But it’s funny!” Sirius protested, so earnest it made James’ heart hurt.

“I think it’s funny, rookie,” he assured him with a clumsy pat on the arm. “And it’s my house, so I say Dumo gets a point this round.”

Kasey hiccupped. “Hey, anyone who makes the rookie laugh gets points in my book. No offense, dude.”

“None taken,” Sirius said, though his cheeks were pink.

James nudged him with his shoulder as Talker started a knock-knock joke. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath.

Sirius picked at the label on his cup. “I know I haven’t been very social,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” James insisted. “It always takes rookies a while to warm up, so we’re just glad you’re happy. I’m glad my best friend is having a good time at my party.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Sirius looked over, eyebrows raised. “Best friend?”

“What, like you didn’t see this coming?” James slung an arm over his shoulder. “Yes, you French-Canadian nerd, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m your best friend, and there’s no take-backsies.”

“What the hell is a take-backsie?” Sirius laughed. “Did you make that up?”

James grinned. He had the feeling this was the beginning of an excellent friendship.

[supernaturalgirl20]

Never Ending Love

Pairings: Marcus Pike x reader (soulmate AU)

Warnings: Fluff, smidge of angst, mentions of violence against women,cursing.

Summary: when you turn eighteen you can write messages to your soulmate anywhere on your body. Theres a condition, you cannot tell them where you are or your name. Will you ever meet your soulmate? Or are you both destined to settle for others?

A/N: Oh look another Marcus Pike series 🙈 thank you to the anon for this amazing idea. This will be a long one.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

Soulmates: A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet - a connection so strong you are drawn to them in a way you never experienced before. As the connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, so strong, so complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.

You remember the day the writing first appeared, you’d had a bad day at home, your dad had been drunk again and you got caught in the crossfire when he went to hit your mother. You huddled in the corner of your room, tears streaming from your eyes when you suddenly saw black writing on your arm.

Even though we’ve never met, I love you already.

You let out a snort at that. Love, how could you possibly love me. You had grabbed a pen and wrote,

you don’t even know me. Stop being ridiculous.

That was how it all started. You’d shared ever horrible aspect of your life with him, trusted him with your darkest secrets and even though you had told him you thought that having a soulmate was a cruel joke that some nameless god was playing, he never abandoned you. He’d slowly become your comfort, your emotional support your greatest supporter. Even though you knew you would never meet, the statistics of soulmates actually finding each other were very low, you couldn’t help how your heart shattered when he wrote that he had proposed to his current girlfriend.

She said yes!

It was like you could hear it shatter inside you. Of course she said yes, why wouldn’t she, he was perfect.

Congratulations

Thank you. I still can’t believe it.

She’s a very lucky women.

I’m the lucky one, trust me. I doubt that you thought. Your conversations became less frequent then, until one day while you were showering you look down to see the words you had been waiting for. It still hurt to see them.

I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to you anymore. She, my wife doesn’t want me to. I hope you find someone to make you happy. Love you always, M.

You’d crumpled to the floor of the shower, letting the water wash away your tears.

It got easier as time went on but the ache was always there, in the background. You’d met someone too, Santiago, he was sweet and charming, someone you could spend your life with. You’d been together a year when the writing appeared again.

Hi. I’m sorry I abandoned you, how have you been?

You stares at it for hours, unsure if you even wanted to reply, he didn’t deserve it. That’s the thing about soulmates though, he pulled at your heartstrings.

It’s ok! Things are good, I met someone, he’s amazing!

I’m happy for you. I’m getting a divorce.

Oh no! Why? What happened?

She cheated. I should have known, she wasn’t my soulmate, she wasn’t you.

I’m so sorry that awful. How are you coping?

Ok just keeping busy with work. I’ve missed you.

I missed you to. I have to go, I’m going out, but talk soon?

Yeah of course.

Marcus’s heart shattered. He was an idiot to think you’d wait for him, I mean the actual chances of you two meeting were slim. Still he was a romantic at heart and his parents and grandparents were soulmates, so he knows it’s possible. Maybe someday, but for now he would settle for this.

Part 2

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[cherrycheridarling]

'someday maybe' | t.h.

tom holland x singer!reader

warnings: one swear? fluff and angst? kisses

summary: you're so close to finishing your second album when your manager pushes the deadline, your ex tom helps you write the final track.

{listen to someday by michael bublè and meghan trainor (if you want)}

wc: 2.1k

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey,"

"Yes, yes. I know. You are not being a very helpful manager right now, Noelle." you spoke to your phone as you paced around the living room, "Okay. I'll get working on it. Bye." you huffed and threw your phone against the couch.

Your album was due to be released in two months and you needed one more song to tie it all together. Your manager, Noelle, was pushing you to finish the song so she could start the promo of the album.

You were incredibly grateful for your career, but the pressure weighed down on you everyday. Never ending.

With a final groan you picked up your acoustic guitar and sat on the couch. Picking at the strings, trying to find a melody. You hit record on your voice memo app before strumming away.

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey, we can be in love once more. 'Till then I won't give my love away. Darling, I'm forever only yours." you sang softly.

You and Tom had a joyous relationship. A love that only ever existed in movies and fairytales. The type of love story that gets told for generations and onwards. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

Your breakup was calm, serene and clean. A mutual agreement as if your whole relationship had been a business deal. There were no loose ends or jealous passive aggressive remarks made. Just maturity and respect for one another.

Your pinky still held the promise ring he gave you. A token of appreciation. A reassurance that he'd always be there for you. And he lived up to his word.

Tom walked in and sat across from you, startling you, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Whatcha writing?"

"Need a final song for the album. Sorry for showing up unannounced. I just get better inspiration here, with all the memories, you know?" you timidly looked back down at the guitar.

Tom nodded, "No need to apologize. We gave you a spare key for a reason."

You couldn't stop yourself from spilling the words from your lips, "That was when we were together."

You could hear the awkward silence start to fill the room before he spoke again, "Still our best friend, Y/L/N."

The pain that crossed your features was instant. Being addressed by your last name felt like a stab to the gut. Especially by Tom.

You nodded before playing again, "Can I help you write it?" Tom asked as he sat next to you.

"Dancer, gymnast, actor and now songwriter. How many hidden talents have you got, Holland?" you teased making him laugh.

He shrugged with a smile, "It's kind of like writing a poem, right?"

You pondered on his analogy before slowly nodding, "Yeah, it kind of is. Give it a go."

You began playing the melody and he listened intently for a few moments before singing, "I love seeing you happy. I miss seeing that smile. It's been such a long time. A– Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. I can't do it." he shook his head aggressively with a loud laugh as you stopped playing.

"No!" you quickly protested, "That was amazing! Don't leave me hanging, c'mon." you nudged him with your shoulder before strumming again.

"Alright, alright." he ran his hands down his face, "And although I don't have you, I know now that I need to?" he paused and gave you a skeptical look before you nodded again, "Somehow make you mine. Mmm."

"Oh, okay. He's giving ad-libs and all. Get it." you nodded as he laughed.

You were so engrossed on Tom actually writing a song with you that you didn't focus on the lyrics he was singing.

"And I won't lie, it's hard seeing you with him 'cause I know he can't hold you like I can." his mood seemed to drop by a thousand as the words left his lips.

"When can we meet this boyfriend of yours?" Harrison flicked your forehead from across the booth.

You, Harrison, Tom and Tuwaine were all sat in the local pub. Pints of beer in front of each of you as loud music and chatting filled your ears.

You shrugged, "He's picking me up, so possibly tonight."

Tuwaine's eyes lit up, "Fina-fucking-lly. I swear you've kept him hidden for years."

"We've only been together for three months, T." you laughed lightly with the group of boys.

And they met him. It wasn't the smoothest of introductions, but an introduction nonetheless.

"Boys, this is Kai. Kai this is Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine." you gestured to the parties as they all shook hands and gave polite greetings.

"So," Harrison started, "What do you do for a living, Kai?"

Kai cleared his throat, "I'm a Senior Resident at Kingston Hospital. Working towards being Head of Pediatrics."

Tuwaine and Harrison both nodded, impressed by his profession. Tom's face remained expressionless as he stared at Kai with cold eyes.

"Do you have any siblings, Kai? Any psycho ex-girlfriends? Any wacky cousins?" Tuwaine joked making everyone laugh. "'Cause Y/N has a lot of wacky cousins."

"We could be in love once more,"

"Hey!" you gasped with a laugh.

Kai pulled you closer to him as he laughed, "No, no wacky cousins or psycho exes, but I do have an older sister and a younger brother."

This game of ask and answer continued on for a few more minutes. Tom didn't say a word, just sipped his beer and burned holes into Kai with his eyes. If looks could kill, Kai would be six feet under.

Kai was a sweetheart, but you two ended ages ago. His work got too much for him and your job had you touring and travelling every second.

You picked up after him with the chorus before diving into your own verse, "I remember that love song. I sang every word wrong, but you didn't mind, no, no."

"I love the things you do. It's how you do the things you love. Well it's not a love song, not a love song. I love the way you get me, but correct me if I'm wrong. This is not a love song, not a love song!" Tom belted the 'Austin & Ally' song from the top of his lungs.

"Your turn!" he pointed the pretend mic in your direction.

You laughed, not knowing any of the lyrics, but still wanting to participate, "I love that you not a licket! And you own a watch and chicken! We got a car!" you sang with full confidence, making Tom burst with laughter.

"Yes! Sing it, darling!" he cheered you on, "Absolutely butchering the lyrics, but sing it!"

"Being stuck inside a car. If it's not a doe, don't kiss it! I can't hear a missing, when there's a shoe inside the ceiling! If you really need to fart, you can lunch on a pig farm! Love song! Love song!" you couldn't even hear the song in the background, your voice overpowering it.

Tom was hunched over from laughing before he came back up and planted a soft kiss on your lips, "You are one hundred percent ridiculous and I love it."

You brought yourself back to reality and sang again, "And I'll admit that I miss you, but only if you do. 'Cause you know that I'm shy. And I can't lie, it's hard seeing you with her. 'Cause I know she can't love you like I can."

Tom's eyes met yours as the words fell from your gentle lips. His mouth was slightly agape as you continued to strum.

"You are absolute rubbish. Imagine coming in eighth. Embarassing." you laughed as you crushed Harrison in a game of Mario Kart.

He shoved you with his shoulder, "You're such a try ha—"

"—It's always the same, Tom! How can I trust you? You follow gorgeous models on Instagram and expect me to trust you?" Nadia's voice cut Harrison's words off.

You looked at him with wide eyes, his expression matching yours.

"Those women that I follow have been my friends for ages. Who I follow on a stupid app shouldn't effect how much you trust me."

You paused the game, cutting off the theme song, "How long have they been fighting like this?"

Harrison sighed, a long groan following, "A few weeks. I think it started when she saw that he liked your Instagram picture?"

You stammered, "M-my post? She got mad about my post?"

Harrison nodded before opening his mouth to speak, but Nadia cut him off again, "And she practically lives here! How do you think it makes me feel seeing my boyfriend play house with a superstar?!"

"Aw, a superstar? I'm flattered." you joked making Harrison stifle a laugh.

"I've been friends with Y/N since we were in nappies!"

"I can't be with you if you're going to be friends with her."

Your laughter abruptly died at her words. Harrison stiffened beside you.

"Y-you can't be serious. You can't make me choose between you and her."

"Why? Because you're gonna choose her?" you could hear her voice crack.

"I-" Tom couldn't make out a sentence for a few moments, "Yeah. I'm gonna choose her."

Your heart fell from it's place, stopping at your feet. Harrison brought a hand to his mouth, "H-he chose you. He chose you!" he whisper shouted before you shushed him.

"Of course. I don't know why I expected anything different. I think I'll be going now." Nadia's footsteps approached the living room.

You and Harrison scrambled to look as if you weren't eavesdropping on their argument/breakup.

Tom followed close behind her, "I'm sorry. I really am."

She nodded, hand on the doorknob, "I know. Goodbye." she stepped out of the house, slamming the front door shut in the process.

Tom let out a breath of relief before turning to you and Harrison who were staring at the Mario Kart home screen with the infamous tune playing.

"You guys are terrible actors."

"'Till then I won't give my love away,"

"I'm forever only yours." the both of you finished the song in unison.

There was a moment of silence before you reached over and ended the voice recording.

"T-that was really good. You can change what I wrote, I know it isn't as good as anything you would've written, but I tried. And it was actually pretty fun and I never knew how difficult songwriting was un—"

"—Kiss me." you cut Tom's rambling off.

His eyes grew wide, "W-wha—"

"—Kiss me, Holland."

He swallowed, a small smile stretching on his lips, "Thank God."

And with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Interlocking like missing puzzle pieces. Moving in sync like waves in the ocean. Soft and sweet, but filled with passion. You could feel his smile against your lips causing you to grin.

His hand came up to pull your face closer into his. Caressing your jaw, fingertips playing with the hairs on the back of your neck. His other hand holding your hip in a tight grip. Pressing the pads of his digits into your flesh, scared that you might slip through his fingers again.

One of your hands was pressed flat against his chest. Steadying yourself, the heat of the kiss threatening to throw you off of your axis. Your other hand tangled itself into Tom's curls. Pulling and tugging lightly causing small groans to fall from Tom's lips. Your fingernails scratching his scalp. Pulling him impossibly closer to you.

"I want my ten pounds." Harrison's voice snapped you and Tom out of your make out session.

Him and Tuwaine stood in the doorway, shit eating grins on their faces.

Tuwaine laughed before placing a ten pound note in Harrison's palm, "You guys couldn't have waited until next month to get back together?"

"You two were betting on us?" Tom laughed at his mates who nodded.

You shook your head with a smile, "Absolute idiots, all of you."

Harrison let out a happy sigh and pocketed the money, "Today was a good day. Had a sick ass shoot. Got ten pounds. And my best friends are finally together again." he waltzed into the kitchen with Tuwaine, leaving you and Tom alone again.

Tom's shy expression met your gleeful one before he spoke, "Someday came a lot sooner than expected, huh?" he chuckled.

You nodded with a laugh, "It certainly did and I am not complaining."

He sent you a wide grin before cupping your face and connecting your lips to his again.

"Darling, I'm forever only yours."

[imkylotrash]

Kiss Me On The Sidewalk

Pairing: Hardin Scott x Reader

Request: It’s raining. It’s POURING DOWN. They are stood in the rain (could either be sad, happy etc) but here’s a prompt!  “How can you blame me for not believing in love? The last time I did that it ruined me.” 

“If love is the sound of fists on a boxing bag and screaming until your throat is dry then maybe I do believe in love after all.” Anonymous

A/N I took the liberty of turning it into two prompts because I had the perfect idea.

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​ @shadowhuntyi​ 

“Come back!” he yells but you’re determined to get away from him no matter what. You are done. You are done with him and all of his games. 

“Go away, Hardin.” You’re instantly drenched when you get outside. It’s pouring down with thunder and lightning but it won’t stop you. You’d rather take your chances than stay another second with him. 

“Are you crazy? You can’t go out in this weather.” Despite his own warning, he follows you out in the rain. His black t-shirt clings to him in a way that makes you feel things you don’t want to feel. 

“Just let it go, Hardin. Let me go.” God, you can’t do it anymore. You can’t keep up with his mood swings and his constant need to punish you. The only thing loving you has brought you is pain. 

“I can’t. Do you think I like being this way? I hate how crazy you make me.” 

“Oh, so this is my fault? What exactly did I do? Is it me loving you that makes it so difficult for you? Or maybe the way I put you first while you can’t even bring yourself to call me your girlfriend?” You’re not holding back this time but it still hurts to see the pain in his eyes. It seems you can’t go one day without arguing and you used to love the passion no matter how toxic it was but now you couldn’t stand it. You wanted someone to love you and not just treat you like a property. 

“You know I don’t date. I told you that from the start,” he argues but he can’t use that excuse anymore. Not when he’s clearing a drawer in his dresser for you and making room for an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. You may not be his girlfriend, but you’re sure as hell not just a friend he likes to fuck. 

“You told me you didn’t believe in love but you lie there next to me every night telling me I’m the only calm you’ve experienced. Something doesn’t add up.” You’re tired of being told you’re just a friend when he so clearly has feelings for you. 

“How can you blame me for not believing in love? The last time I did that it ruined me.” You know exactly who he’s referring to. Tessa Young. The girl who broke his heart in a million pieces and then stepped on the pieces. She was his first love but you’d helped glue everything back together and now you refused to live in the shadow of what she did to him. You had never hurt him like that and you refused to do so. But you couldn’t keep this going. 

“I’m not her,” you yell trying to talk over the thunder. It’s getting closer now and you just know you’ll be getting a cold from the rain. It’s pouring down and soaking everything. Not a single inch of you is dry anymore. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” he says agitated. His hair falls down in his eyes and you have to stop yourself from reaching out and pushing it to the side. You can’t get close to him if you’re going to keep your control. 

“Do you? Because you keep blaming me for her faults. Hardin, I am in love with you.” There’s the truth. It’s the first time you’ve said it out loud like that. His lips crashes against yours before you even have time to react. Your resilience is washed away by the rain and his touch. There’s something animalistic and raw in the way he kisses you like he’s scared you’ll disappear in the rain. You run your fingers through his hair hoping he knows just how much he means to you. 

“If love is the sound of fists on a boxing bag and screaming until your throat is dry then maybe I do believe in love after all,” you whisper against his lips. You don’t care if you spend the rest of your lives screaming at each other and punching walls but you need to know he’s all in. You need to know he’s willing to risk it all the way you are. 

“Whatever makes you stay. Just please stay.” You follow him inside getting the shower running as you undress. You need to warm up. You don’t say much as you get ready to go in the shower but as soon as you’re standing under the warm water, he’s ready to talk.

“I want to be with you. I’m just scared I’ll get hurt again,” he whispers. It’s the first time he’s been really honest with you and you’re thankful he’s finally reaching a point where he knows he can say these things to you. 

“I can’t promise you I won’t hurt you at some point. But I love you, Hardin and I’ll do everything in my power not to hurt you the way she did.” You trace one of his tattoos on his chest allowing him the time to think about what he says next. 

“I want you. I want to believe in love again.” He leans his forehead against yours as the warm water cascades down on you. It feels so good to hear him say that he actually wants you too. But you know deep down it won’t be enough to prevent the two of you from standing here again next time it gets too much. You need more to stay. He reads you like an open book knowing you need more. 

“How about we start small? A date,” he offers and you’re quick to agree. What you need is to know you’re moving in the right direction. As long as it’s one step forward and not three steps back, you don’t mind taking it slow. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Hardin. I hope you believe that someday.” 

[weaselbrownie]

we’re okay | d.m

draco malfoy x fem!reader

summary : draco and his girlfriend got in a fight but she stayed patient with him.

warning : swearing, angst, accusations?, fluff towards the end, talk about starting a family

a/n : flashbacks in italic

word count : 1.8k

01.30 am

It was late and you had to wake up early tomorrow for a potions exam but your mind was elsewhere. Tossing around in your bed the events of last night kept replaying in your head. 

"Why can't you see– I love you Draco"

"No Y/N you don't love me– you love the idea of fixing me!" Draco shouted at you through his gritted teeth and locked jaw. 

"You can't possibly think that's true..." You backed away from him as the tears in your eyes started to fall. 

Fighting and fighting was all you've been doing with Draco. You knew what you signed up for when you got into a relationship with Draco, but you never thought it would get this bad. Every day you try to hold onto him, try to lend him your hand because God knows he needs it in times like this. After Draco got the mission from you-know-who, he has not been himself. Always sneaking away, only to come back to his dorm past midnight. You tried for so long to try to talk to him but he wasn't budging, and now, here you were. All you wanted to do was tell him he's not alone and that you love him but of course he would turn that on you, twisting it into something sick. 

"Y/N we both know it's true, you come into my life when I'm at my lowest and you try too hard!" Draco continued to shout at your fragile state. 

"Try too hard? Try too hard my arse Draco– This is what I get for caring about you?" You fought back at him not wanting to lose another fight to him.

"I didn't ask for you to care for me– You came to me all on your own trying to be little miss perfect, fixing the broken boy like last year's project! Well, guess what? You can leave now, there's the door Y/N!" Draco spat out at you when a single tear escaped from the corner of his eye. 

Your body ran cold at his harsh words, you knew Draco didn't mean what he said but it still hurts like hell. You've been in his life since the very beginning, growing to love him through your years in Hogwarts. You knew he was hurting and it was hurting you more that you can't take the pain away from him, you love the boy so much to the point where you would sacrifice yourself in a heartbeat in exchange for his happiness.  

"What happened to you? What happened to the boy who helped me ride my first broomstick, to the boy who stuck up for me when those Gryffindors cornered me, to the boy who took me to the Yule Ball–" You chocked out in between your streaming tears "What happened to the boy who I comforted in his home when it was invaded by death eaters? To the boy I've loved since the first year?" You really couldn't control the tears anymore, you had to get out of here before it gets worse.

You shook your head before gathering your book bag and robe, slowly making your way past Draco and to the door he pointed to behind him. You placed your hand onto the doorknob before turning in your place to see Draco's back. 

"Please come back to me" 

With that you were gone, tears run on Draco's pale face– realizing that he just drove you out of his life. Y/N, the last person to truly cared about him, the love of his life. Draco broke down with a scream throwing anything he could get his hands on. 

On the other side of the door, you stood muffling your own tears as you hear him completely breaking. You wiped your face before forcing yourself to step away from the door and back into yours. 

You took a deep breath as you stare up to the ceiling of your dorm. Your roommate was out for the night so it was even quieter, the thoughts in your head screaming at you. You decided that maybe a cold shower would help you sleep.

Before you could even move a muscle the doorknob started rattling, thinking it was your roommate to go get something you turned your body away from the door and closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep. 

The door slowly creaked open and closed again. Footsteps started to approach your bed you could feel a shadow in front of you. The person in front of you stayed there for a moment before brushing a small strand of hair away from your face. 

When the fingertips touched your face you already knew it was Draco, you didn't need to open your eyes to know Draco was touching you. Playing along you stayed still pretending to be asleep as Draco admired your figure wrapped around a thick blanket. Draco placed his hand on the side of your cheeks, stroking it lightly before softly letting out a few words. 

"I'm so sorry"

"I didn't know why I did it but I didn't mean the things I said, I was just– angry, angry at myself for hurting you but angry at you for staying with me when I know someone else could make you much happier than I ever could" Draco softly said, still caressing your rosy cheek in the process. 

"I have never loved anyone other than my family and I don't know how to process the feelings I have for you. This is for the best sweetheart, someday you'll find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated– like a princess. I'll be okay, as long as you're happy" 

Draco whispered to you, as you felt a teardrop land on your cheek. Your heart aches, listening to him, listening to how he thinks someone else could make you happier. Little did he know that he was it for you, that he was the person you wanted to spend forever with. 

He kissed your forehead lightly before cupping your face again. Goosebumps start to form on the back of your neck as he leaves little kisses on your face. Your head going dizzy, inhaling his scent that you love to drown yourself in. 

"I love you Y/N" 

Not wasting another second he pulled his hand away from your face and sniffled a little. The warmth from his hand leaving your cheeks, and then you heard his footsteps drifting away from you. 

This was now or never if you don't tell him now you might never will. So with a determined mindset, you slowly sat up from your spot and turned around to see Draco opening the door of your dorm with his head hung low. 

"Draco.." 

He picked up his head and quickly turned on his feet to face you. His tear-stained face and his ruffled hair. He changed into a comfortable jumper along with sweatpants to keep him warm in the cold air. His eyes lit up when he noticed you were wearing his jumper, the very first jumper you stole from him in 4th year. He has told you many times to get rid of it as it was old but you never did, considering that it smells like him the most. 

You eyed his figure in the dark before extending your arms out and made grabby hand gestures at him. He smiled softly before closing the door and walking towards your bed. He touched your hands keeping them in his for a while before closing the space between the two of you with a tight hug. You rested your head on his torso with your legs dangling off the bed on either side of him as he kissed your hair. 

Draco finally let go of the hug just to kneel in front of you. He pouted when he saw your face with tears in the corner of your eyes and squeezed your thighs reassuringly. He took your hands and kissed your wrist before cupping your face to wipe your tears away. 

"I don't want you to go..." You murmured down at him 

His mouth fell into a straight line as he takes in the beautiful sight in front of him. His hands fell from your face to your hips, keeping them there and his head hung low too ashamed to look at his love. 

"Nobody compares to you Draco– N-not even close.." You cooed lifting his head by cupping his face much as he did with yours just seconds ago.

His silver eyes were blown, looking up at you with all the adoration and love the world could possibly offer. He opened his mouth to say something but before the words could leave his mouth you closed your lips on his. He stayed still for a second surprised at your action before closing his eyes and returned the kiss. The kiss wasn't like the many kisses you shared before but rather a needy broken one. His lips were soft and tasted a bit salty from all the tears. Without breaking the kiss you guided him to stand and join you on the bed. You backed up until your head hit the soft cold pillow and Draco hovering above you with his arms on either side of you. The both of you finally pulled away in need of air as you admired the boy above you. 

"Y/N wha-"

"Shush Draco," You said in your sweet voice looking into his eyes. 

He smiled down at you before letting go and crushing you. You smiled at him as he snuggles into your neck, leaving a few open mouth kisses. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and kissed the top of his head before playing with the ends of his hair. 

"You will not speak such stupid words again Draco– I'm not going anywhere" You whispered to him as he picked his head up from the crook of your neck to look at you. "You do know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you right?" You cooed down to him as his eyes lit up once more. 

"Do you mean that?" Draco asked slowly, wanting every word you're saying to be true. 

"Mhm– After this pass, we can get out of here, get a house in the countryside with a big garden and maybe a pond. Then we can start a family, just the two of us– Unless you're not ready to start a family then we can wait as long as you want. Then we'll watch as the kids grow up and go into Hogwarts to start their own lives and then w–" You said as you imagined your life with Draco. 

He looked up at you with a soft smile before interrupting you with a soft kiss on your lips. He smiled and chuckled into your lips as you do the same, the kiss ended up being a small laughing fit for the both of you. 

"Darling I've never heard anything better" Draco cooed after you both calmed down. 

You smiled at the boy in front of you and returned to your previous position with his head on the crook of your neck and your arms around his neck. 

"I love you, darling" 

"I love you too Draco"