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therealchoreanese · 8 years ago

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Spring Cleaning

Guys why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the domesticity of the Cave??? Like by S2 there are a bunch of people who probably sleep over lot and have their own rooms just in case, and Mal, M’gann, Gar, and Conner live there, so there’s probably an endless cycle of chores that need to be completed and ahhhhhh here are some hcs i came up w/ for living in the cave

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-M’gann for sure does most of the cooking and baking and has everyone’s favorite meals memorized. She’s the only one who can get all orders exactly right and the kitchen is mostly thought of as M’gann’s, so if anyone fucks something up then they’re pretty much dead

-that doesn’t mean the rest of the team doesn’t cook, though. Gar is second best bc hey, M’gann is his sister and he picks up a lot of skills from her. Wally is pretty decent bc he wanted to learn how to cook his favorite foods (aka EVERYTHING).

-everyone else can only accomplish the Basic Stuff, like pancakes or mac n’ cheese in a box and a ham sandwich. Laga’an and Cassie are the absolute worst bc Cassie gets overexcited and when she enters the kitchen it’s usually a chorus of BANG WHOOOOSH WHOMP “OHMYZEUS SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!”, and Laga’an, despite being a Smug Little Bitch, doesn’t know how to work ovens and pans and is way too proud to ask for help

-Spring Cleaning sounds like a total Pain in the Ass bc of all the bedrooms, the hallways, the Grotto, the library (who even uses that???), the kitchen, showers (eeewww), pretty much EVERYWHERE including secret passageways and the vents since the team insists on crawling through them for “training”

-but it’s like the perfect team bonding time bc usually when they clean out the whole mountain they find really weird shit and get to know more about each other

-like the time Jaime found bones (no worries it’s just fried chicken) between the sofa cushions and he just looked at Gar who told him, “If I can’t have a pet then I’m going to BE a pet, okay? i had a dog phase and I’m working through birds next”

-Jaime has a sneaking suspicion that the next spring cleaning he’ll find sunflower seeds and feathers

-usually dick, babs, wally or artemis is the DJ for this kind of stuff and they like using their brooms and mops as guitars and mics. their music tastes are all sort of the same and it’s always some weird alternative pop rock thing (Jaime is the only freshman member who knows like half their songs and tries to sneak in some latino pop every now and then)

-somehow cassie gets soapy water EVERYWHERE (she blames it on bart’s and gar’s mock swordfight w/ the dusters) and the three of them have to clean it up, with bart knocking himself out at least five times slipping on the floor while trying to speed his way through the process

-tim is the most dedicated to the cause and actually gets more shit done than everyone put together, but when nobody is looking he pulls quiet, subtle pranks that just screws everyone’s process up but they NEVER figure out it’s Tim

-Mal and Karen are the ones who don’t really get anything done bc they’re too busy being lovey-dovey w/ each other, nobody really minds bc that just means Mal and Karen owe them for being let off the hook

-Kaldur is the second most helpful other than Tim thanks to his hydrokinesis. He can get water into all the hard-to-reach-places and actually makes sure that everybody gets work done (he also dumps water on people he catches slacking off but everyone lets him get away w/ it bc they love him)

-the chore everyone hates the most is laundry bc instead of each person doing their own load individually, everyone’s clothes end up being washed together to save energy and whatnot and it’s SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS

-when it’s the boys’ turn to fold + wash everything they always feel hella awkard bc of all the bras and underwear they see but they’re mostly mature about it (except for the time they found Robin underwear and Tim, being the pubescent 14 y/o he is, would not stop blushing and to this day has no idea who it belongs to)

-the girls aren’t any better tbh, they made fun of Dick for buying a set of superhero logo boxers (Flash, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, etc.) and their favorite game to play on laundry day is “Whose Clothes are these bc they’re the worst things I’ve ever seen” (it usually ends up being laga’an)

-Jaime has it the worst, most of his hoodies go missing after Laundry Day and he has to run around the Cave and figure out who stole them. majority of the time the culprits are Gar, Bart, and Cassie, but once he caught Billy wearing them and after that he just kind of...... let himself be defeated by the forces of the universe or whatever is keeping his hoodies from him

-all the guys are pretty mature about period stains I’m happy to say, but the first time Laga’an did Laundry Day with them he freaked out because “OH GREAT SQUID SUCKERS WHAT HAPPENED WHO GOT HURT” (i mean i’m assuming atlantean physiology/biology/whateveriology is different from normal humans considering that blood floats in water so if anybody bled in the sea....that would be hella terrifying and sharks would be able to smell you sooooo)

-and the boys would have to explain to Laga’an what a period is, scarab gives jaime way too many details and Gar is also epically confused bc “wait what professor carr never taught me this???”, so basically gar and laga’an just end up getting the birds and the bees talk (jaime has to tell scarab to shut up every ten seconds)

-cleaning the shower drains is probably the next worst job bc of all the gunk and dirt that washes away when the heroes shower, like Clayface’s sludge or some evil villain’s goop or something like that and the only people who can really stand it are Kaldur, Gar, and M’gann

-actually when anything gets clogged it’s always up to those three to clean it out bc they have the best powers for it, Gar doesn’t really mind gross stuff when he’s in animal form

-speaking of animals, Wolf likes to try and help clean up when everyone else does. He drags around trash bags and buries old junk but just screws everything else up most of the time, always knocking things over and he probably sheds a hella lot and gets mud everywhere

-tbh Wolf is the main reason everyone keeps the Cave so clean. If it had just been them they would’ve been all, “Oh, it’s okay, we don’t have to be that neat, just toss your jacket there and your book here and put your cup on the counter w/ the others.”

-but everyone loves wolf and they’re all concerned about how he might accidentally inhale a Coke bottle or something so they do their best to not be lazy asses and pick up after themselves

-which makes it all the more ironic when wolf brings in leaves and twigs and grass from playing outside

-anyways the Team just turns cleaning into one giant big mess and I love it a hella lot so if you can think of anything else to add feel free to send in your thoughts and hcs!

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therealchoreanese · 8 years ago

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So. . .

When Despero attacked the Hall of Justice with Mal, Karen, Zatanna, M’gann, Billy, and Conner inside it, Billy shazamed from Marvel to his normal 15 y/o self in front of Mal and Karen.

So it was either a spur-of-the-moment type of thing, or Billy trusted the Team enough to tell them that Captain Marvel is actually a teenager.

There are a lot of ways that can go down if you think about it. . .

also, someone requested more billy batson stuff and I hope this satisfies it (if not I can alywas do more XD)

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-i like to think that instead of gathering everyone, Billy tells the people who don’t know (Mal, Karen, Jaime, Gar, Tim, Cass, Barbara, Bart, and La’gaan) individually

-he starts with Mal and Karen, bc he feels like that they’ll be the least shocked, but once he shazams in front of them he finds out that he’s very, very wrong

-there’s a lot that karen can take in stride, but. . . Marvel is actually a high school kid????? what???? what’s the science behind that????? and she’s freaking out, desperately trying to figure out biological processes and all of that shit while Mal is just “OH THANK GOD” bc Marvel beats him in every arm wrestling match which always made Mal frustrated, but Mal KNOWS that he can beat skinny, scrawny, dorky Billy Batson (Billy refuses to arm wrestle Mal when he’s normal, though)

-Billy had planned on telling Cass and Barbara separately, but they were chillin’ together watching a movie when he went to go find Cass (who he may or may not have a crush on ssssshhhhh)

-Of course cassie and babs are all “hey cap wanna join us?” and billy sees that they’re watching the Twilight series (Cassie wanted to try it out and Babs was too tired to say no) so billy just goes “you know, i’m a lot like that jacob guy” and Cassie just snorts and says, “Oh, so you’re a werewolf too?”

-And Billy (who i believe is a little smartass shithead when he’s older) just says, “nope but i can transform like him. SHAZAM!” and suddenly there’s this really dorky cute boy standing in front of Cassie and she’s just all, “HOLY ZEUS-” and babs can’t even talk, she’s just sitting there with an overturned bowl of popcorn, kernels are all over the floor and her mouth is wide open

-the movies are forgotten as the girls start peppering Billy with questions and they can’t BELIEVE that they used to take orders from a guy just a year older than Tim

-speaking of Tim, Billy finds him, Bart, Jaime, Gar, and La’gaan hanging on the beach of Mount Justice, swimming and holding stupid competitions and stuff like that

-When the boys see him they think there’s trouble or some sort of mission but Billy is quick to reassure them (”Nah, I just wanted to hang with you guys for a bit!”)

-There’s complete silence before Bart, being his usual blunt self, says, “Uh, Cap, that’s nice and all, but don’t you wanna go talk with the Leaguers about boring grown-up stuff?”

-And Marvel just smacks himself and says, “Oh, knew I forgot something!” and shazams

-The boys are all flabbergasted to find Billy Batson, just barely below Jaime’s height, standing there looking embarrassed

-Gar is FREAKING OUT and Scarab is screaming inside Jaime’s head and Jaime’s yelling in Spanish for Scarab to shut up and Bart is just jumping up and down shouting “Crash!” over and over while La’gaan is just kind of frozen-

-And then everyone hear Tim snorts. He doesn’t even look fazed, just has that shit-eating “Man, you guys are stupid” expression, looks at Billy, and goes, “Well, took you long enough.”

-And tbh nobody is really surprised that Robin already knew, but it’s kinda annoying to see him with that know-it-all smirk so Billy yells, “GET HIM!” and after like a 0.5-sec pause they all charge Tim and shove him into the water

-they spend the rest of the day at the beach and billy is so happy that he finally found a place outside the League where he can belong

Bonus:

-Gar is very very curious about how it works, so he asks Billy, “Hey, where do your clothes go when you shazam? And what about the clothes Captain Marvel wears? Where do they come from? Do they get washed? Do you have some magical closet to hang them in when you’re not in Cap form?”

-And Billy just gets very thoughtful and goes, “Huh, never thought of it before.”

-Cue more stupid shenanigans from my faves as they try to figure out how the heck Captain Marvel gets his clothes and what happens to them (but that’s a story for another time)

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Hope you guys enjoyed!!!

I’ll try and put more stuff up ASAP. Thanks for reading!

~Miss Eruza

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