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tranquilpetrichor · 1 year ago

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a heart that still beats

— when in the midst of despair, do you lose all hope?

synopsis: the year is 2080. in a world destroyed by climate change, there is only one hope left for safety, and of course it is one exploited by the rich and famous—make it to the airships that are fueled by oxygen on earth. unfortunately, you are neither, but you are a skilled mechanic who is separated from your companion by yet another flood.

lonely, bitter and lost, you eventually find a purpose in being the mechanic for 10 boys that have an ambitious plan to shut off the machines that fuel the cities above the earth, being welcomed as one of their own.

but this mission is their most crucial one, one that could cost them their lives. and as you think about your leader, daeyeol, you're inspired by his courage, but very nervous for the upcoming events to transpire.

cast: gn mechanic!reader x daeyeol ft. golden child members and mentions of sf9's youngbin

genre: sci-fi, dystopian!au, end of the world!au, loosely based on golden child’s ra pam pam mv, angst with comfort if you squint

wc: 6.6k (6,674)

warnings: mentions of death, gunshots, blood, flames, pollution, lots of cursing, reader cracks maybe one dirty joke (which is only dirty if you understand it), we get pretty existential here. lmk if i missed anything

a/n: reader has habit of calling everyone older hyung as that's what they've decided they're comfortable with (just y and daeyeol here), ignore the fact that it’s y on the banner LOL this is for aesthetic purposes. there's a few perspective switches near the end, and of course i always end up making the relationship ambiguous. also why is the plot so messy.. ugh i just want to get this fic out. yes this is the second time sf9 youngbin makes a cameo in my fics. i think daeyeol said he had no same age friends and i’m like oh wait who else is a 93 liner? so yeah, enjoy, because this took way too long to do.

[d-7]

you watched and gave a small nod of approval as your rc car (which jangjun had decided to name damdadi for some reason) wheeled across the tiled floor of the hideout. bomin and sungyoon were examining the oxygen tanks, but your main focus was on your tech.

ah, good. it works. and it's quiet too.

damdadi, like your other projects, was carefully crafted, because god knows you couldn’t afford to make any mistakes with your mechanical work—not that you liked to make mistakes with anything anyways. everything you did got a quality check at least twice.

nevertheless, you were nervous about whether the oddly-named damdadi would be able to complete its task of surveillance or not and with the lives of friends on the line, you certainly had no time to lose.

to the side, you picked up yet another rc car (bomin decided he'd name that one genie) and checked if it was in working order, because as a dear friend named youngbin had reminded you long ago, “it’s best to have backup plans in case any bullshit happens.”

"and bullshit will always happen," you finished the phrase easily.

as the phrase came into your mind, you wondered what had happened to him after a flood separated the both of you about a year ago—the occurrence of natural disasters was not uncommon, but that didn't mean it was any less devastating each time one occurred.

god, you remembered it so well. he had gone on a mission to gather supplies for your camp when the flood occurred. from the wreckage, you had emerged confused, tossed around like a ship lost at sea.

then, it turned into denial that he was gone, anger at circumstances you couldn’t have controlled, and then reluctant acceptance that you couldn’t find him. it wasn't like you couldn't survive on your own, but without someone to ground you, you'd be talking into a void of nothingness. still, you didn’t know if anything could fill the even deeper void in your heart.

youngbin said once to you, “loss is inevitable. remember jaeyoon? you know i would have done anything to save him, but i can’t control the fact that the soldier shot him in the damn chest, but i tried my best, and yet the feeling of not being able to save everyone fucking hurts. losing someone you love… ah, fuck. sorry if this was depressing. but if there’s anything i’d prepare you for, it’s that."

inevitable.

that word alone carried so much weight to it.

and from then on, you reminded yourself that nothing is permanent, not even the companionship of a friend. it’s the only way you got yourself through your separation.

after the flood, you were on your own for a while, trying to find youngbin. however, an annoying little shit named jangjun found you after you stole some supplies from a soldiers’ base. apparently he had the same idea.

after this incident, he took you back to meet the other 9 members of the crew you were part of now. although initially reluctant to trust them, you found their company to be likable enough. you assumed the role you always did, finding spare parts that could be repurposed as you always used to do with youngbin.

you knew youngbin and daeyeol were two separate people, but you couldn’t help but see one in the other and think that they might get along. thinking about the two of them together made things so much harder.

thinking about those days, you sighed. you couldn't believe a trip down memory lane could randomly be triggered by one glance at an rc car, but it would be unwise to stay there for too long. of course, you allowed yourself those brief moments of distraction in your memories, and then focused on the task at hand again. it was a reasonable way to live.

yes, you did miss those you had lost, but now was definitely not the time for that.

don't get too distracted. you have work to do. you have to keep going.

despite the gravity of the situation you were in, you couldn’t help but crack a joke in your mind about being good with your fingers as you fiddled with some more machinery. some things never changed, like your less-than-appropriate humor that either got you lighthearted scolding (from sungyoon and daeyeol, and of course, youngbin) or laughs from people who liked your occasional jokes (mostly jangjun, and surprisingly bomin too).

while examining a control panel, you felt a soft tap on your shoulder, which could only possibly belong to one person out of the group you currently lived with—lee daeyeol. he spoke with a gentle tone but it had a sense of authority. “could i talk to you for a second?”

mentally, you prepared for hell because whenever he used that familiar tone, he was being nice but definitely meant business and may the gods help whoever tried to get in his way. “of course, what did you want?”

he placed folded diagrams on the table. "i just wanted to check on your progress on that rc car, although knowing how fast you work i’m guessing you’re almost done. we've finalized a plan about how to shut off the machines.”

ah yes, he was talking about the machines of project aether, or better yet, a way for those with enough money and power to save themselves and leave the poor and helpless to rot. the act of using the oxygen on earth for airships to create a "paradise in the sky" for some while damaging the atmosphere down below made you scratch your head at the backwards logic.

it was starting to get a little sweaty in the room, and you fanned yourself with an old newspaper. "things are going well, dae. this rover should be ready in a few minutes for jaehyun and jibeom to take when they need it. better early than late. you ready to do this?"

he glanced at you, and let out a deep sigh, one filled with what you interpreted to be as deliberation. "it doesn't matter how i feel. this needs to happen soon."

as the leader of the group, daeyeol was required to handle many burdens and although you and the boys were usually with him, no one could never completely understand what was going through his mind. there was a special spark that was required to lead.

sometimes, you wondered how tired he really was, but he didn't like to show that side of him, always wanting to be the helper instead of the helped.

and of course, that reminded you of youngbin, which wasn't such a great path to take your mind to. so you'd put it upon yourself to move on from him, which you had done semi-successfully.

of course, he still had a designated space in your mind, no matter how hard you tried not to think about him.

you put down what you were working on to focus on daeyeol's words, knowing it wouldn't be good for your mind to go off on more tangents today. "alright then, let's go over the plan once more. i figure you want to run through it again. i just need to hear it too."

he nodded and opened one diagram, which you recognized as it was labeled project : aether (floor plan), with a picture of the air machine itself. you remembered researching machinery for that. he pointed to the spot where it said passcode entry point.

"because of you, seungmin and donghyun, we were able to get the password that controls the fuel source of the cities. as you know, we need to enter the password at that location in order to shut the machine off. but we're unsure of the exact situation with guards and their patrol routes, so we're going to send the rovers with the camera attached in order to assess it. the last thing we need is for there to be surprises we didn’t expect.”

he probably hadn't changed any aspects to the plan, but you asked for confirmation. "it's just you going, right?"

"yes. the rest of the group looked uncomfortable with the idea and as concerning as the idea of going alone is, i can't risk anyone else's life.” his lips set in a thin line. "and there's a limited supply of oxygen tanks, anyways."

you let out a humorless chuckle, knowing just how brutal it was out there. "dae, we're clearly not as selfless as you. no one asks to potentially get shot at by assholes in hazmat suits.”

not being able to hide your true thoughts, you quietly added, “and honestly, i’m probably the most selfish of you guys.”

out of the corner of your eye, you saw him frown. "now don’t say that, you help in your own way. you've been invaluable in developing the technology for this mission. remember, nothing goes unnoticed by me."

you still did get a little flustered whenever people mentioned your skill, and you brushed his words off with the lazy swipe of a hand. "oh, i can't take all the credit for this stuff. seungmin helped me a lot." the mentioned guy was currently fiddling with the screen on the wall to make sure it actually worked.

yeah, you knew you were decent at what you did, but it's not like you wanted the spotlight for it, preferring to remain behind the scenes most of the time. to put it simply, you liked working in the shadows and only showing up when necessary to report something.

"you sell yourself short, y/n," he said with an amused grin on his face.

"do i, dae? if you want, i could just start bragging about myself all the time."

he laughed, and oh, how you took the sound in like nourishment. true laughter was hard to come across nowadays, as a lot of things were. "now let's not jump between extremes, okay?"

you made a salute as if you were on some pirate ship. “aye-aye, captain!” damdadi was still turned on, and you maneuvered it next to daeyeol, just to demonstrate the functionality, before turning the power off.

“god, imagine being pirates. we’d be the worst pirate crew ever. imagine trying to wake up bomin and get him to do anything but sleep prettily!”

daeyeol shrugged. "well, i could probably use captain privileges to boss him around, anyways."

"as if! he listens to no one, especially you."

the two of you grinned, sharing a moment. there were times when you forgot that the air was polluted, the rich were assholes and food was hard to find—now was one of those times. it was nice to not think about that for a bit. you were aware however, that the cold reality waited around the corner like a gunman waiting to fire.

you rested your head on his shoulder, an action you had grown more comfortable with gradually after he told you it was okay to do it. it seemed to say a message without words, i don’t know what the future holds, but at least i’m here with you.

daeyeol closed his eyes and spoke his next sentence quietly. “hey, i know i told you guys i’d be prepared for anything and we're aware of how this might end. it might go badly. if i’m honest, it’s been very nerve-wracking to prepare for this. i just wanted to say that i will protect you guys. whatever it takes. i think we have a chance to end this once and for all.”

won't you protect yourself? won't you be selfish too for once? that's all i need. you thought, but didn't say aloud.

you, who never thought you'd shed a tear since getting separated from youngbin, who didn't like getting very sentimental in front of others, embraced daeyeol. "hyung, sometimes i wonder how people like you can exist, so full of hope and all that optimistic stuff. shit, i promise i don't mean it in a bad way, but...” you trailed off.

"it's hard to have hope, right?"

"you could say that."

from the moment you had met him, he had struck you as someone who wouldn’t give up. all of the group did, but especially him. to keep fighting, one had to think that things would get better someday. one needed hope.

he rested one hand on your shoulder, as if he were transferring his wisdom over to you merely by touch. “until the moment i die, i won’t stop having it. it’s the only way we’ll be able to keep pushing through. call me optimistic, but if there seems to be no hope, we have to create it for ourselves. i don't want live hopelessly knowing that i could have tried to make a better future."

you played with a screw in your jacket pocket. "hope's short in supply sometimes, i admit.”

“it is. but all you need is a bit of it to survive.”

you felt your chest rise and fall, acutely aware of your breath. if you really thought about it, it was dangerous to risk it all on one mission, a singular chance to get this right before the soldiers could wipe you all out.

but you thought of the boys you had come to know over months of time, and everything became clearer.

joochan deserved a chance to sing in air that was truly clean. donghyun would get to dance outside without fear of being shot. jibeom and jaehyun could simply mess around with the rc cars you and seungmin made instead of just sending them out into the dangerous world outside their base. most of all, daeyeol would be able to breathe easily (quite literally and metaphorically), after the mission was over.

and of course, you wanted to take that first breath of air with each and every one of them.

hope brought a world of possibilities to think about, so close and yet so far away. it would fuel you, so long as you believed it still existed—and although you didn't really consider yourself as much of an idealist as daeyeol, you needed to be, especially now.

you brought up your hands to your head, which happened to hurt a little, and his voice brought you back to the present.

“hey, y/n, you seem like you’re lost in thought. all good?”

as expected, he can tell what goes on with you.

“just thinking about our upcoming mission. can't help but stay awake...”

he frowned. “it's late, take a rest too. i can't let everyone else in the team deprive themselves of sleep. don't overwork yourself, y/n.”

and before you had known it, he left and came back with a bit of water he had saved. water was difficult to come across but the group was fortunate to have some, so you savored every drop you got to taste. “thank you, daeyeol.”

“always.”

although you continued working, you knew these coming days would be difficult, and later you finally decided to take daeyeol’s advice, eventually letting yourself slip into a dreamlike state on the smooth metal beds.

(you wouldn't have known anyways, but daeyeol glanced at you several times while you were asleep.

you'd be alright, he knew. still, it was nice for him to make sure. he smiled, and got back to work.)

[d-3]

the main room, with all 11 of the crew, wasn’t outwardly panicking, but it contained a nervous energy that simmered and quietly stirred everyone's feelings of anxiety. the crew always worked hard, but this particular week needed everyone's dedication, whether it was finding spare parts, to looking over diagrams, to last minute research.

despite these demands, you were impressed with everyone's resilience.

youngtaek shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to relieve tension. he turned on the medium-sized screen that was inside the hideout, which currently was connected to a phone you and seungmin had built together. "the camera works fine, i see the footage from it showing up.”

you sighed in relief. it was good to know that something worked.

"ow, my feet," jibeom interjected, as damdadi rolled over them.

"alright, thanks youngtaek!" jaehyun grabbed the phone from him and affixed it onto damdadi. he then gestured to jibeom. “come on, let’s go send the rc car to survey the terrain, before y/n does that annoying thing where they yell at us for using their tech all wrong.”

“okay well, you can't just use damdadi to run over jibeom's feet, we got a mission!” you yelled from across the room, where you were working on a drone.

jaehyun smiled innocently at you. "yeah, well it'll be fine and we'll get it done. i think we're very capable. or at least, i am—"

"hey, take that back!" jibeom glared at jaehyun. “i hate you."

the two continued to bicker like children. "okay. jibeom, just so you know, if the guards come and you run too slow, i will be leaving your ass behind!"

these two argue so much, it's almost as if i'm watching a tv sitcom.

"just go already, guys," you said, amused by their antics. "and don't die, of course."

“have a little faith,” jibeom whined. jaehyun laughed at him again, and with the turn of a knob, damdadi rolled to the door with them.

after they left, you went to talk to daeyeol, showing him a few of the drones you had made with seungmin. “i was thinking that i can use these to divert the soldiers' attention so that they're less likely to shoot at you. couldn't hurt, right?”

"hm, good idea, just make sure your drones take a different route to the location. you thought of me that much?" he added, lightly teasing you.

your cheeks warmed slightly, but you kept your face impassive. "well, precautions are necessary, are they not?"

he was serious, but you could sense a bit of amusement coming from him. "they are. you always think ahead, don't you?" and with that, he approved of your addition to the plan.

you let out a sigh of partial relief, and continued to test out another drone.

"just say you love him or something, because even i can tell." seungmin, who had been working next to you muttered this after daeyeol left to wake up bomin. he screwed in another bolt. "you might as well remind him before...."

he doesn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to. the two of you looked at each other in understanding. survival was never guaranteed in a world as wrecked as this one. he looked away for a second and closed his eyes briefly before continuing to talk.

"never mind. anyways, let's just keep working—we're making good progress. after this, we'll have 4 drones to use. it’s always useful to have something that flies, i suppose."

you obliged, figuring it would be better to shut up and just continue doing what you were always good at—attempting to ignore anything not related to your job. but seungmin's words still lingered and you would do anything to get them out.

later, seeing a frightened jibeom and a tired jaehyun return with news that a soldier had captured the rc car was enough to make you quietly simmer with rage (it was precious technology, after all), but you were almost thankful for the feeling.

at least you still felt something.

[d-day]

this was going to be rather interesting.

lee daeyeol was not supposed to be scared—or at least, he was not supposed to show it. in fact, he was the one whom people looked to for comfort, strength, guidance, and sacrifice (even if no one would say it aloud). if he looked scared, it would set the tone for this mission. who would believe in them? in their cause?

so he shouldered his burden of shutting off the machines of project: aether with calm determination, trying to steady himself despite his accelerating heart rate and the vague feeling of the world swaying beneath his feet. “i’m going out the route we discussed. send the drones out a different exit and wait for the radio signal from me to go up. if something unexpected happens, only one of you should check first."

"got it. stay safe, hyung." sungyoon checked daeyeol's oxygen's tank one last time, sighing to himself.

daeyeol looked to you, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "do you have the ring?"

you wordlessly got up to grab daeyeol's ring from the table, and watched as he slipped it on carefully. the piece of jewelry was special for him, as it was a gift from a childhood friend he had kept for his whole life.

to him, it signified many things, but he could never deny the fact seeing the ring gave him hope.

your voice was soft yet full of conviction as you gave him words of reassurance. "stay strong. we'll be waiting. but even if you don't return, i want to thank you, for everything. i love you, in every sense of the word."

daeyeol closed his eyes. you weren't usually the sentimental type.

it was times like this where he found it hard to walk away. if he let his heart take over, he would stay safe with you against the harsh reality of the world. but he knew that first, he had to carry out his plan.

he extended his arms towards you, pulling you into a tight hug. "you as well, y/n. remember, i'll be with you, always."

he double-checked the levels in his oxygen tank, affirming that they were alright. now, it really was time to go.

"if you don't stay safe, hyung, i'll kick your ass all the way to the sky," jangjun yelled.

"got it," he said, a small grin on his face. of course jangjun would be the one to joke around.

and with that, he turned away, walking towards the entrance of your hideout with conviction. the doors opened, and he stepped out, leaving behind the people he loved most. it would be painful for him to turn around now, and so he chose not to.

at least, if he thought of his team, full of people he wanted to give the world to, he had something tangible to fight for.

as daeyeol left, the 10 of you stared at the door and no one dared say a thing, for fear of it being wrong, but a distinct sigh came from bomin, who could not hide his frustration as the youngest. that's when you knew it was time to do your part, just as daeyeol would do his.

slightly trembling, you got into position and used the camera on the one of the drones to help examine its surroundings and navigate it through the twists and turns of the hide out.

sungyoon, much to everyone’s surprise, stood up a minute later. “i'm not letting him do this alone. lee daeyeol, i swear if you go alone at this point.."

"take care, hyung," bomin said.

he nodded in response.

you buried your head in your hands. it's not like you needed his life at risk too. but sungyoon could be rather stubborn at times, and you weren't trying to argue with him at a time like this.

besides, it's not like he couldn't handle himself out there.

he went to grab an oxygen tank, put its heavy weight on his back, and exited the hideout. but with his running skills, the team knew he would catch up to daeyeol soon enough.

outside, the chemicals in the air gave the impression that everything was a fatal orange, the orange that burned from that pillar of fire daeyeol saw in the distance. it seemed like it would burn straight to his soul and consume him.

but daeyeol found he could run faster than even he anticipated, fueled by a fire of his own.

above the flames, the floating paradise of the rich taunted him, as if they were situated in the heavens and looking down upon people like him, those who couldn't make it up there with what they had in their pockets.

those who were left to perish amongst the ashes.

daeyeol kept going.

unbeknownst to him, sungyoon was making his way over, navigating past abandoned trailers and trying not to alert the presence of any guards—he was quite aware of their patrol routes now.

after a few minutes, he found daeyeol, whispering, “hyung. i’m here."

the older boy looked over in surprise. "now that i think about it, i'm not surprised."

sungyoon's presence had revitalized him completely, a blessing that he wasn't to take lightly. daeyeol gave sungyoon a nod of acknowledgment, and they headed for the passcode entry point together.

as they did, a group of 3 soldiers ran across an elevated ledge.

"we gotta go!" dayeol exclaimed, pointing upwards. they sprinted towards the tower that felt so close, and yet, was still feet away.

a bullet punctured sungyoon's oxygen tank, and the hiss of air leaking out could be heard.

shit, daeyeol thought. he needed to do something, and quick.

they took cover some medium-sized storage crates as he removed his oxygen mask and put it over sungyoon's face, transferring the tank as well.

then, covering his mouth, he ran as fast as he could towards the tower. only a few feet away the tower, the soldiers shot him in the back. and yet he ran, bleeding through his denim jacket.

he inputted the correct code into the security screen.

3-2-6-4.

as sungyoon rushed over to him, daeyeol pushed the lever to shut off the tower off with all of his remaining strength. the pillar of fire emerging from the tower's base shut off, and the smoke in the area began to dissipate.

"you really did it, hyung." sungyoon said, looking around in awe. he sat beside daeyeol. the older boy smiled back.

i can rest, at least sungyoon is fine. no one else had to suffer.

he blinked several times to try and stay awake as sungyoon took off his vest, pressing lightly against one of daeyeol's wounds.

a few minutes earlier...

back at the base, your body felt frozen, except for your fingers, which were the only thing moving. it was quite difficult to steer a drone with the intense weather conditions outside and turmoil within you. but this was your responsibility, and you had to carry it out to the end.

"maybe a little higher," you muttered to yourself as the drone continued to fly. there was a smaller phone next to you, which allowed you to see out of the tiny camera on the drone. seungmin, tag and bomin had drones too.

“i see guards.” seungmin said sharply. “oh wait, i think daeyeol and sungyoon are in the distance too.”

jangjun spoke up. "okay, i'm going up to the warehouse building. i just need to safely observe what's happening outside in case your drones go down."

"someone, hand him a radio! i only have mine." seungmin yelled. "and remember, keep yourself hidden."

donghyun gave the remote to jangjun, who thanked him and left the base quickly.

amidst the chaos, you continued to maneuver the drone, trying to stay in control. the guards appeared to aim their guns in the general direction of the tower, which was where daeyeol and sungyoon were headed to.

you knew the guards were mostly there to prevent people like you guys from shutting off all the technology rich people had paid for. disgusting and vile.

“ah, shit, gotta steer away from there,” you muttered, your hand grasping the right controller stick. the drone flew slightly off to the side, and from what you could make out, the direction some of the guns were firing in changed.

oh god. there's a ton of soldiers. damn.

in all honesty, what happened next was chaos. a few of the screens lost connection. on a screen that was still intact, you saw blood, or at least, you thought you did.

the world blurred around you, but then came into focus again, but you knew that you couldn't collapse, not now. thankfully, your bottle had some water left.

"something's wrong," you say, fidgeting with your hands.

"of course something is wrong!" seungmin said, groaning. "what the hell is happening?"

youngtaek observed the surrounding area through his drone, but soon he had to find somewhere to land it, making sure it was well out of view before doing so.

he groaned shortly after. "great, the camera on the drone is almost dead. but from what i was able to see outside, i can tell someone shot sungyoon and daeyeol as they were headed over. i don't think they'll be coming back soon," he remarked. "so, maybe three to five of us should go out and help. we'll need to treat any wounds."

"do we even have enough medical supplies for this?" you asked, your mind racing. you began to sort through the stuff in the emergency backpack, making sure you could pack as much as possible.

shit. are daeyeol and sungyoon going to die? damn it, those two—

your thoughts were interrupted because over the radio, jangjun’s voice resounded, loud, clear and... somewhat excited? “come. look outside. i can't fucking believe it! we’ll finally be able to breathe the fucking air! you gotta see for yourselves! oh my god... is this real?”

his voice got faint, so you assumed he was busy staring at the sky, and how could you blame him?

everyone looked at each other with shock and disbelief. it's been a while since you've stared out the windows of the warehouse, but whenever you did, it was always the same—a sea of orange and the menacing presence of security drones. seeing something different would be a relief, a sign that daeyeol had gotten the job done after all.

still, you didn't want to be get too excited.

seungmin spoke into the radio. "alright, be there soon, hyung, but we have to go check on daeyeol and sungyoon afterwards. by the way, stop cursing so much, you potty-mouth.”

you heard a crackling sound before he responded, “fuck no.”

ha, he certainly is something.

afterwards, you took the radio, greeting jangjun with a laugh.

"hey, jangjun! is the air really as clear as you say it is?" you said, rolling your eyes. "you get fired up so easily and exaggerate. how do we tell you're not just messing with us?"

jangjun sighed once, one of those sassy why-don't-you-listen-because-i'm-right type of sighs. "just look at the damn sky before you come out, okay? i took off my mask and it felt okay, but don't take my word for it. bring the surgical masks if you're really worried."

you shrugged. "we'll be there. but let's be careful."

then, talking to the rest of the team, you said, "help me grab medical supplies and weapons. once we meet jangjun and get outside, we have to make sure there are no soldiers or drones."

"alright, i'll go ahead with jaehyun to go check on daeyeol and sungyoon and give them necessary medical attention," youngtaek said.

you found a pistol and picked it up. "got it."

"found the surgical masks!" jaehyun exclaimed.

everyone headed out, feeling mixed emotions of fear and anticipation. bomin was by your side. “y/n, will it be okay?”

to be honest, you weren’t the greatest at comforting people, but you tried your best. he was the youngest, and although you knew he was an adult and could handle himself, you still had a bit of a parental instinct.

“i don’t know. i trust that they did their job. we can have a bit of hope, can’t we?”

“yeah. i guess we can.” his breathing became steadier, and you were grateful.

soon enough, you were ascending the steps of what used to be functional escalators. light shone through the tinted glass ceiling, so oddly colored and dirtied that it was difficult to tell what life was like on the outside.

jangjun was leaning against a column, his gaze turned towards a sky that was finally more blue than orange for the first time, devoid of the flame tower in the air that everyone had grown so accustomed to.

you walked beside him, quietly waiting for him to acknowledge your presence. while continuing to stare, he shook his head rapidly, as if trying to wake up from a dream. "i still can't believe it. damn. it seemed like yesterday that there were drones swarming outside the window."

you laughed. "believe what? that we're alive? that this stupid machine is off? that the sky is blue?"

"all of it."

it was rare to see jangjun's contemplative side, but it was certainly present right now. you weren't sure that you believed it either. maybe you dreamt this entire incident up too. unless anyone said otherwise, though, this was real.

you shrugged. "well, there's been crazier things in this world."

"you're damn right about that."

the crew talked quietly amongst themselves, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere that was established by the strange stillness outside the window.

"i think we should go out now." seungmin said to the group, still in a state of shock.

everyone walked out towards an outside balcony where people probably used to hang out long before you were alive. apparently there was a time when the outside air wasn't so dangerous.

as you stepped out of the building, you found a place to stand. after a few minutes, you felt comfortable removing your mask.

you took a breath in, slowly. then, you exhaled. surprised at how easy and yet difficult it was, you repeated the action. it wasn't perfect air—the atmosphere would probably never return to 100% normal—but it was certainly something.

you tried to spot the telltale red lights of enemy drones, but you couldn't find any, to your shock.

there'd be no point in sending them anyways, you surmised. the job's been done.

of course, your heart felt conflicted with the absence of sungyoon and daeyeol, especially the latter. you'd need to check on them soon, just to see how they were doing in person.

you leaned against a white ledge, alone with your thoughts for just a second.

it'll be okay. surely, they'll be okay, you thought, trying to be optimistic.

and yet, there was still a part of you that wondered if you would find their lifeless bodies. but even that would be better than not finding them at all.

that's highely unlikely, of course you'll find them.

you looked at joochan, who had found a place beside you. he was humming softly. the two of you weren't as close (hey, it was hard to get to know the ten others in your crew equally), but you knew he loved music and saw it as his life. through song, you felt as though you understood whatever emotions he wanted to convey.

"wow, i think i'm dreaming," he says, his words riding softly on the breeze. "i never really understood why people sang songs about blue skies until now."

you laughed, despite yourself. "you're not the first to think that we're dreaming. maybe we'll wake up in a few minutes. but for now, this is our reality."

you heard youngtaek's voice over the walkie talkie in your hand. "daeyeol was shot in the back, so he's our priority right now. sungyoon's not in critical condition, but he does have a few bruises and needs to rest as well. make sure you secure the area you're in—we'll let you know when we're done here."

conversation broke out amongst the group.

"why did he do this by himself again?"

"i can't believe it..."

"hyung, you really are crazy for doing this."

meanwhile, you tried to process the news yourself. you weren't doubtful of youngtaek and jaehyun's medical capabilities, but after hearing about this, you knew that it would take a while for him to heal.

you told the group that you were going to go check how sungyoon and daeyeol were faring while they finished scanning the area.

after crossing between a maze of storage crates and covering a long stretch of flat land, you finally made it to the base of the tall tower.

despite all of the hardships you had been through, the sight of the tower without a flame made you smile, even if just for a second.

you spotted daeyeol sitting on the stone floor, his back against the control panel and sungyoon beside him. jaehyun and youngtaek were busy giving them medical treatment. they were obscured on two sides by large crates, which was good.

you were glad sungyoon and daeyeol had survived, but you couldn’t stand to see them in pain, especially your leader.

it only made you feel like you had failed as a companion in protecting him.

first, you talked to sungyoon, who seemed to have a few bruises and was panting heavily, but otherwise, seemed to be alright. he stood up

"i'm glad the two of you weren't alone," you said to him.

sungyoon nods. "he says he can do things alone, and although it's probably true, i wanted to be by his side."

you think of youngbin, and how you lost him. the feeling of deep loyalty isn't unfamiilar to you.

"i... understand."

you wish you were still by youngbin's side.

"here's some water," jaehyun said to sungyoon. luckily, he was able to drink on his own.

next, you looked over at daeyeol, whose eyes were set in a solemn gaze.

on closer inspection, you examined blood trickling from several places in his body. you hated seeing him like this, wanting to give him whatever strength you had.

you approached him slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him. “hi, daeyeol. how are you holding up?”

his response came in slow, short sentences. “i'm fine, for now. need… water. it’s good... to see you, y/n.”

you pulled an extra bottle of water out of your bag and slowly poured it in his mouth. you weren't the medical authority amongst your team, but you knew it wouldn't be good if he was required to move, considering the fact that he had been shot.

“it's good to see you too.” you laid a hand on his shoulder and continued speaking softly. you wanted to envelop him in a bone-crushing hug, but you were sure there'd be time for that when he was fully healed.

when, not if, right?

“i know you're probably thinking about the next step in all this, but.." you hesitated. "let us take care of you a while longer. you've already done so much for us."

he laughed, the sound strained. "i won't do anything drastic, don't worry."

you sat down in front of him, fingertips inches away from his. suddenly, you were a little tired as well. "please, let me know if there's anything that you need.

daeyeol took your hand. "you're here... for me, that's enough."

the golden ring on his hand glimmered in the sunlight. he said it reminded him of many things—your team, as his duty as a leader, the memories you've all shared.

you had always been more of a realist. youngbin was too, accepting that things were the way they were, and taught you that there wasn't much you could do except try to survive another day and solve things practically.

but daeyeol taught you something too, that hope was something that could be cultivated, even in the face of struggle. you took a glance at your friends, feeling a weight lift off of your shoulders.

no, problems weren't going to magically disappear. wounds took time to heal. work still needed to be done. you could lose it all at any moment. it was scary, to not know what came after this moment.

but as long as you had a heartbeat, as long as you were alive, you could have hope, even if it was faint.

"yes," you said, gazing at the endless sky above you. "it's enough."

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