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rui and people watching ,,, rui and the scenery ,,, rui the storyteller ,,,
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ITS FINALLY DONE BOYS!! i will be busy tomorrow but hopefully ill have time to post it. i refuse to reread it so it will not be proofread or edited i am so sorry if yall notice the dip in quality from my usual but it was that or never fuckin finish this chapter ever. i would post rn but its 2am and i really fuckin gotta sleep but just lettin yall know you have 13k words of wgoin to look forward to in the next few days at least everyone cheer!!!
#wouldve been longer bc i planned one more scene#maybe if i suddenly feel inspired to sit down and write it all in one sitting youll get it bc this chapter Would read a lot better w it#but if that doesnt happen within the next few days im just posting what ive got bc i refuse to let it be a full year between updates hsdkjg#yall will have SOMETHING god bless hskjdfgksjdfkjg#hopefully it doesnt feel too awkward or incomplete of an ending!! but its not like an ending ending its just a chapter ending#i just had a particular flow in mind yk like problem solution type beat but the solution gotta wait another chapter hsjkfgkjsd#anyway#what goes on in neverland#mischiefing time
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matt hard launching his and readers relationship
Mine
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Matt and Y/N decided it was time to tell their fans they were together….after a year of being together and no one suspecting a thing
Warnings⚠️: None, kind of short?? Also based on the video I put at the end 😋
Song for the imagine: All Mine- Brent Faiyaz
Mine
Pronoun
Used to refer to a thing or things belonging to or associated with the speaker
Matt and I had been dating for a year. A full fucking 365 days with this man, and not a single soul knew. It was actually really funny…. We’d always see on TikTok their fans shipping or assuming he was dating all these random girls.
It made us laugh because yes he was in a relationship, but no not with any of these random girls. I was in the influencer world, and I did in fact know them and a lot of their friends. That’s actually how we met through our mutual friends. I was in a few of their videos as they were with me, but not a single person suspected we were a thing.
Personally we preferred it that way because a lot of their fans were a bit harsh with their feelings towards a lot of their female friends.
The hardest thing was to not be seen in public as a couple, so we’d always do group outings and not play the couple role. We wanted to tell our viewers, but on our own timing and when it felt ready.
I think 365 days was more than enough time to know this was a solid relationship, and that we were ready to showcase our relationship.
I’m not even going to lie, we didn't even hint not in the slightest that any of us were in a relationship. I mean no faceless pictures, no subs, no selfies together, not even sitting next to each other. We kept it really low for a long time.
About a few day ago Matt and I had decided we wanted to hard launch our relationship, but we thought a YouTube video was a bit outdated and cringe, so we decided on a TikTok which isn’t better, but still preferred it.
“I’m thinking that NLE song” I said looking at matt
“Which one?” He asked raising his brow at me
“The one where it’s like you can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer” I said
“Waittt I like that tell me more” he said scooting closer to me
“Soo basically I can lip sync you can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer and then I pan it to you and youll be like you can call her phone, and I’ll probably answer” I said scrolling on TikTok to show him the videos
“I fuck with that idea let’s do it” he said watching the videos with me
“Okay so I’m going to lay down on your lap and then pan the phone up to you” I said
“Sounds easy” he said laughing
Matt took his phone out and opened TikTok to the sound bringing the phone down to me so I can grab it
“Ready?” He asked looking at me
“Yesss” I said getting excited
I brought the phone close to me and began
“You can call her phone, but she ain’t gonna answer” and panned the phone up to Matt
“You can call her phone, and I’ll probably answer” he lip synced
He looked down at me with a smirk and kissed me
I stopped recording and looked at the video, and we thought it was perfect.
“This is coming out of left field your fans are going to be so shocked” I said giggling
“I’m actually really excited for this” he said giggling
We watched the video one more time, and then Matt captioned it “Hard Launch?” And posted it
We started to giggle because we were so excited to tell our supporters we were together, but also because it felt like a huge accomplishment to go a year without anyone finding out.
Immediately his phone was blowing up with notifications. The comments, the likes, Sturniolo fan accounts posting the news. I mean it was huge
“Holy shit” we both said looking at everything
The comments were crazy
“THEM?? SINCE WHEN??😀”
“Holy fuck we’ve been shipping him with other girls and the whole time he was with Y/N”
“We accused him of dating all these other influencers…and we were wrong LMFAOOO😭😭”
“Must be new because how did nobody guess this??”
“They are so cute together holy shit🥹”
“God damn he bagged a bad bitch😩”
I mean the complete love we were getting was astonishing like we never would’ve guessed.
“I say we post on Instagram?” Matt asked looking at me
“YESSSS” I said smiling at him
We decided to do a collab post and do a faceless picture which we found ironic but it was funny to us.
matthew.sturniolo and y/nthedawnnnn
matthew.sturniolo: 365 days with the love of my life….I can't believe it’s been a full year with this amazing woman. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me. To many more years baby I LOVE YOU❤️
Ps check out our TikTok for our hard launch.
y/nthedawnnnn: I fucking love you so much, 365 days of pure happiness 🥹🤭
nicolassturniolo: my fucking queen Y/N…..this was the hardest secret I had to keep btw 😩
christophersturniolo: mom and dad??
christophersturniolo: the amount of clips that had to be edited out of our videos because I spilled the beans….
Larray: Matt got the cuntiest girl out there okay matty poo I see you😉
nathandoe8: so no more bedtime kisses for me??
madisonbeer: I love yall omg 🥰
naileadevora: Literally stole my bestfriend… like Y/N come back home the kids miss you😔💔
Sturnioloteam: OMGGGGG I LOVE YALL
sssturnioloz: shut the fuck up YES OMG
Chrizz_Sturnz: I can smell the edits and I can’t wait😋
The amount of love we were getting from our announcement made us sooo happy. I’m so glad we waited a year! This was the best day of my life!
The End
Idek how tf I was supposed to end it, but I hope you enjoyed it I LOVE YALL🤭🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets imagines#matt sturniolo x reader#matt Sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo imagines#matthew sturniolo imagines
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applause ︴aa23
🎤 in which.. a well known kpop idol meets a formula 1 driver
pt2!
yourusernameofficial just posted!
‘cold shoulder’ out in 24 hours. Enjoy, my blossoms🌷
tagged: smtown
liked by user1, alex_albon, and 9,238,012 others
user1 HOLY SHIITTTT
user2 MOTHER
user3 HUHH?? GIRLIE IS FEEDING US
user4 I LOVE YOU YN
user5 PLS PLS PLS TELL ME THIS IS HER REPUTATION ERA
user6 I THINK ID DIE OMG
user7 NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE HER
user8 we love you yn!!💗💗💗
user9 forever proud to be a blossom 💐
alex_albon just posted!
Singa-poor luck luck.. Had some fun though! 🇸🇬👋
liked by albon_pets and 158,407 others
user1 youll bounce back in japan albono!
user2 why is fernando looking at me like that..
user3 we love fernando shoe model
user4 WE LOVE YOU ALEX
user5 itll be better next race 💙
yourusernameofficial just posted!
First stage of Could You, Would You, and you guys were magical!! I love hearing your fanchants and cheers, thank you to everyone who watched! 💗 🌷
liked by alex_albon, user1, and 8,261,864 others
user1 BREATHTAKING. AMAZING. GROUNDBREAKING
user2 love from france!
user3 you never fail to impress!!
user4 is it just me or did she seem really tired??
user5 its just you babes
user6 get off her mfking page if your gonna bring her down.. stupid hater
user4 im not hating, im a long time stan but im just worried about her.. going from a year and a half tour right back into a new album promotions is tough..
user5 WE LOVE YOU YN!
user6 😍😍😍
user7 COLD SHOULDER AOTY, COULD YOU WOULD YOU SOTY, YN ARTIST 👏 OF 👏 THE 👏 YEAR ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
user8 ALEX ALBON LIKE?? WHAT IS GOING ON?
user9 who the hell is that..
user8 hes a formula 1 driver!
user9 he needs to get the hell away from yn.. she doesnt need someone like him dragging her down
user10 girl what the hell are you on, all he did was like her post??
user9 i just want the best for her and he is clearly not it 😒
alex_albon just posted a story!
yourusernameofficial Thank you so much for coming, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
alex_albon I loved it! You are a master at performing 😆
user1 ALBONO A KPOP STAN??
user2 SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE YN
user3 GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE
user4 STOP. LET ME HAVE YN WHILE YOU DO YOUR LAPS AROUND THE TRACK
yourusernameofficial just posted!
tagged: smtown
liked by alex_albon, user1, and 8,638,273
comments have been limited
kymillman just posted!
YN YLN spotted at the paddock today! She seemed to be very confused as to where to go, but was pointed in the right direction by some of our drivers.
liked by user1, user2, and 56,823 others
user1 YN AT A RACE?
user2 i thought she was on a hiatus..
user3 shes on a hiatus from music, but she’ll still be out and around 😊
user3 her fashion sense is soo pretty!
user4 right?? i NEED her to meet lewis and zhou!
user3 sorry im not much of a f1 fan, who are they?
user4 lewis is lewis hamilton, a 7-time world champion and an icon in the sport, he has really cool outfits every week and drives for mercedes, and zhou is zhou guanyu, a driver for alpha romeo, and also has really cool outfits, he’s in his second year!
user3 awesome!! ill watch them and alex albon!
user5 so she cancels promos for cold shoulder then goes to a race??
user6 thats what im saying! i dont think that alex albon guy is a good influence on her..
user4 bro be so fr, alex albon did not tell her to go on a hiatus. her logical brain did after she was STALKED AND HARASSED BY HER “FANS”
user6 why is fans in quotes? they wanted to meet her, and shes not easy to meet so they did what they could, whats wrong with that?
user5 dude wtf are you on about, thats stalking and she has a right to be upset, im just wondering why she went to such a highly-publicized event after trying to get out of the public
user7 she looks so tired, i hope shes taking care of herself 😕
#pt2 coming soon!#alex albon#alex albon x reader#alex albon x you#alex albon x y/n#alex albon imagine#alex albon fic#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#williams racing#williams racing x reader#📌myfics!
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I just im a simp for ghost from cod and i saw your post about how he wouldnt fuck you if you were bratty and i just wanted to kinda agree/give ghost smutty brainrot hope you dont mind im sorry if this crosses any boundaries its not intentional
So i think if you were bratty or pushed his buttons one too many times, he'd give you attention just not the type you want. He'd think bc you teased him, it's only fair he teased you back. He'd end up having you spread out for him but hed more glide his length along your cunt instead of inside it. Hed be sure to let the tip of his dick brush against your clit too. And hed say things like "you asked for my attention and you have it. Its not my fault you weren't specific. Maybe next time youll learn to use your words" and youll have to beg and i mean beggg for him to fuck you properly. If not hes more than content to cum on your thighs and leave you strung out until later that night.
I also 1000000% believe he'd do a similar thing with kisses but more jokingly than anything where hell act like hes going to kiss you befothe last moment kissing the tip of your nose or the corner of your mouth instead of properly just to see you pout
i dont mind at all !! i was actually super excited when i got this ask ^^ thank u !
ANON U ARE SO RIGHT OMG simon would be so mean when teasing you, purposely not giving you want you want and getting amused at your reaction
and its so hard to please him when hes like this, you'll beg and beg but he just keeps dragging it on, telling you "you can do better than that" in his condescending tone. god i hate him 🤦♂️🤦♂️
also doing that with kisses !! anon u r so real hes so annoyingly playful like that and he has the smuggest smile on his face it makes him so irritably handsome
#call of duty#cod smut#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost smut#srry it took so long to answer this anon i appreciate the ask tho <3#asks ─ ♱#ghost ─ ✮
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heyhey! You said you had a request but couldn’t see it and in case it was mine here i am once again humbling asking you to feed my delusions. I am the same person who asked for the one with the fake dating trope and the one where reader spawns into the lobby :))
But i am here now going for a more angsty route! >:) Granted, this is more of an OC x Alastor but im describing it more generic for the populace BUT HERE GOES
right before “Cover me” reader kept silently glancing over at Alastor which was on the dance floor, subconsciously making him approach her. He goes of course they have a (Important for later) conversation like “I havent seen you around here. Are you new around town?” “Just moved in actually~” “Well, Id love to give you a tour someday, the names Alastor” and he kisses her hand “Ah a charmer, ill have to be careful around you” (OR A MORE ELEGANT CONVERSATION THEN THAT I SUCK AT DIALOGUE) then theres the knife and gun scene and the team up
And then they get together after about a year or two and I dont wanna say theyre legally married but eventually use wife and husband terms because its more fancy and gives them more respect in eyes of others but they have been together for around 5 years at this point.
but then the events of 1925 happen where readers twin brother dies because some bastards set fire to his house and Reader has an argument with Alastor before eventually going alone to avenge her brother (theyre like “theres too many, youll die” “so be it!”)
Reader kills them all (duh) but because it was January and extremely cold she eventually gets hypothermia and during the delusions it gives she stumbles and gets impaled on an abandoned rusty fence spike and dies :3
Alastor find her and gives her a proper burial and 8 years later in 1933 while visiting readers grave he gets shot canonically
But these 8 years gave reader enoigh time in hell to establish her own dominance and due to the life she lived and the death of hypothermia- she gets turned into a sort of blizzard demon. Around 180 cm with black limbs, white fluffy hair and fluffy ears and a white tail as a sinner form and for the demon form im thinking of the faceless Room Guardians by Anyaboz on Instagram (incredible artist btw) with ice powers like summoning weapons and ice spikes and ice touches and moving freely (like Kindred’s wolf in League) in her blizzard. Taking over half the pentagram like this-
Until 1933 when Alastor pops up in hell, does his demon business and eventually wants to check out these frozen parts and goes into a bar very similar to the one they met and sees reader at the table and then THEY HAVE THE EXACT SAME CONVERSATION THEY HAD WHEN THEY FIRST MET (maybe with the knife and gun scene too hehe) and theyre both like “i forgive you” or smth idk maybe they just have a silent agreement- either way.
After they met the blizzard stops and no one knows why or who did it :>, readers identity as the blizzard demon remaining a secret
BTW I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE- if you want more i have a ton of ideas because brain rot- (also lil side note i kind of imagine reader as albino because it would fit my ocs lore a bit more- but keeping it basic would fit everyones ideas of their own reader so! do what you please you already made my day better by reading my ideas come to life :3))
yes!! i did see yours and it is currently in third place for requests i need to fill so ill probably get it done by this weekend, early next week at the latest. it’s just taking me a bit because i’m in midterms rn and also i want to make sure i get in all the details :) i think it might’ve been a request for alastor’s mom reader x lucifer?? i recall getting one about that but can’t seem to find it anywhere. long story short,, your request is in progress and i will post it as soon as i have the time to finish it up :)
UPDATE: This piece has officially been posted as of Friday February 23rd, 2024.
Frostbite (Alastor x Reader)
#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor the radio demon#fic writer#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#request things#request one shot#asks#answered asks
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Hey! I'm making a F!Leo cosplay and I was wondering if you have any advice for how to do the shell? The plastron, specifically. Yours was amazing! Ty xx
Yeah of course!!! Luckily the rise plastrons are very geometric so its pretty easy to make a pattern from it! I dont have pictures of early steps so pls bear with me <3 info n pictures below the cut
First thing i did was make a pattern of my torso with plastic wrap and tape so i could see the curve of my stomach and chest. Cant say this helped a TON, but i cant imagine things in my head, so it helped me conceptualize the size and dimensions i would need the front panels to be to cover my torso.
Next i started sketching small patterns for what the cut outs may look like. DEFINITELY make a paper pattern, this took a lot of trial and error and you dont want to waste too much foam. I cannot for the life of me find my paper patterns unfortunately, but hopefully you can see part of where im coming from with the detailed pictures of the plastron!! I made patters for 1/2 of the plastron, and flipped the patters over to make the other half mirrored and symetrical.
Now the cutting. I used .7mm foam (i think?? I got it from micheals. Joann fabrics has some but only small sheets. If you want less seams you should get the bigger ones, or buy massive sheets online. EVA foam isnt too hard to find, but make sure your density and width is appropriate for what youre making. When actually cutting the pieces out, some cuts will be flat while others may work best at an angle. I used mostly 90* and 45* angles to make clean edges and corners.
Bear with me bc the pictures in this next part are kinda uglie </3 ill explain why later.
For matching the curve of the body, i used a fresh blade and made shallow triangle cuts on the backside of the foam as can be seen here:
It would have worked better if the chest pieces were also vurved by i was on a time crunch and didnt have the time to make a 3rd or fourth plastron (yes this was a second fully completed attempt orz). Im also a bigger dude so it may be easier if your torso is smaller. I also had the benefit of making my pants from scratch (using a demon slayer uniform pattern that i altered) so i made the waistband big enough to tuck the shell into, which helped with keeping it curved around my body.
(This but only applies to future leo and i did post gluing the pieces together, but for his Top Surgery Scars™️ i cut into the chest at a 45*angle, then glued those pieces back onto the back side to seal the cut)
For gluing, i tried a whole lot of types but jothing worked as well as cement glue. It is toxic tho so make sure you do it outside or with good ventilation, and wear gloves/a mask. I did two layers on each edge then stuck the edges together, 3 if i noticed the foam absorbing it to much. Make sure you take the gluing slow and really put pressure on the pieces to lock them together. Follow the instructions and youll do fine.
For painting, i did 2 layers of modge podge, 1-2 priming layers (depends on if foam is white or black to start), and then whatever layers you need for a smooth coat of color. I topped it off with modgepodge again to seal it, but that may not have been the best idea for the following reasons....
EW YUCK. WHY IT LOOK LIKE THAT.
Well. It didnt always. Turns out when youre wearing approx 3 laters in the summer then cover your body with insulating foam, the heat and moisture makes the modgepodge MELT. and like i said before, this bottom portion was tucked into my pants so it did not breathe. I have yet to even try to find a solution but just keep it in mind when making your cosplay (and if you find a solution PLEASE LET ME KNOW! My one idea was tryna find a sealant that wont melt (obv) but idk what that would be)
And FINALLY. how to secure it to the body suit!! I used snaps!! So easy and nice (besides the melting issue but thats a different thing entirely.) They never came off or gave me problems (minus the melting) and made the shells easy to transfer/travel with and put on.
(Heres a pic of them on the suit sewn in by hand, and above you can see them on the shell itself.)
All in all, The plastron was so so hard and im honestly still not happy with it, planning to remake it before i wear him again. Please show me your cosplay when you finish it, id love to see!! Please lemme know if you have any other questions!! 🐢💙
#ask#askfish#did-i-mention-the-shirt#cosplay#rise future leo#future leo#leonardo hamato#rottmnt#tmnt#rise leo#art#fanart
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Hai :3 do u have any wacky wild michael hcs
oh do i!
both adult and teen. loser has been on my mind again.
He gets super fucking cold for no reason and blamed it on ghosts until after fnaf 6 where he brought it up as a joke and the ghost kids were like "...none of us did that" and now he's convinced theres a whole extra ghost after him. (it was cc he didnt mean to initially but cassidy thought it was funny)
He talked to the animatronics all the fuckin time. like he just. chatted with them. especially the fnaf 2 ones. charlie had to sit there and watch him talk to actual robots thinking they were kids. they werent and she told him that in fnaf 6 because she found it so fucking funny
clumsy as HELL i know that man was banging his knee in the SL vents and swearing under his breath
teen mike was also clumsy. probably split his lip on concrete all the time as a kid.
he was also the kinda kid to say "nah, check this out!!" and wake up in the hospital
this is a gross one but. he dealt with bugs a lot post scoop (especially. flies. and what comes with them. iykyk). he'd come into work on mondays smelling like a can of bug repellant. you wont believe what he showers with instead of water.
He was williams least favorite but they had a weird relationship between him moving out and elizabeths death. like some days william despised him and michael just wanted to blow them both up with his mind and some days he comes home like "Hey mike whats up want some pizza for dinner tonight?" and michaels like "fuck yeah why not."
he's henrys favorite afton as a teen and he knows it. and he uses it. Henry fuckin loved that kid he had the man wrapped around his finger. William also notices it and he gets mad at henry over it.
in relation to that, henry was really gentle with michael which was. not helpful im sorry 😭
mike sleeps pretty casually. hes not a light sleeper but not a deep sleeper. unless hes tired. if he hasnt been getting enough sleep youll know because he sleeps like a ROCK.
he fucking loves italian food. for no reason. he just does
he unironically eats beans on toast. He tried it as a joke and then just. never stopped.
he still has his foxy mask it just doesnt fit him. he tries it on again and it hurts his head
cannot afford to go out to eat often and GOD does he complain about it. he is SO FUCKING LOUD when he complains about it. he wants his takeout man
Loves animals but they hate him. A crow tried to take a bite out of him post scoop once nad he had to fight for his life. bro saw his family for a moment there
he is so polite most of the time but if you talk to him after his shift he'll fuck you up. rudest bitch on the block and he was an asshole teen so he knows how to run his mouth
he plays solitaire.
does not know about the context but whenever hes depressed he says "tomorrow is another day" because time moves on anyways!!!! also idk i think its neat
he ate shit in the middle of his shift once and bashed his face on one of the counters and his coworker found the blood the next day and managed to start a rumor that someone died there until michael came in to work with his face bandaged up.
these are so rambly but funny so im gonna keep going
skateboards <3 totally tried to show off and ate shit until william told him if he went to the hospital again he'd take the skateboard. he still ate shit. just hid it better.
taught evan to do a lot. If he didnt feel like bullying him (for an array of reasons, but the biggest is just. boredom. or loneliness. or a mix) he'd teach him something just because he could. skipping rocks, flying a kite. michael doesnt remember it very well but evan does
cassidy kicked him in the knee so hard he was limping for an hour and so he found the golden freddy suit and kicked it too at one point. she didnt feel it tho. and jumpscared him out of spite.
he loves dogs and once brought evan to see one because his friends were busy and he hates being alone and the dog bit the shit out of evan. foreshadowing.
oh yeah i totally think he gets lonely btw. do not leave that guy alone he will get very sad and pathetic!!!
im capping myself here because jesus christ.
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oooo for fic ideas could you do ler two bit and Lee pony? Remember the part in the book where ponyboy was kinda sick and twobit pinned him on the ground and told him to “call uncle” but instead of wrestling him he tickled him :)
{ofc omg🫶}
Ponyboy was standing around in the living room watching as Sodapop, steve and darry got ready to go out for work. Twobit was standing not too far away from him. “I hate to leave you here by yourself, ponboy” Darry said slowly. “Maybe i ought to take the day off.” “Ive stayed by my lonesome before, you cant afford a day off.” Ponyboy replied to Darry who was currently putting on a black tight work t shirt. “Yeah, but you just got back and i really ought to stay..” darry said, checking himself out in a mirror. It was true. Ponyboy just got back from hiding in a abandoned church for several days with johnny who was now being hospitalised. Ponyboy thought about it and was about to agree to darry staying just when Twobit spoke out. “Ill babysit him” he shrugged his shoulders, “ive got nothing else better to do.” “Ever considered working?” Steve asked sarcastically as he sat down on the couch, waiting for Sodapop’s slow ass to hurry up. “Work?” Twobit repeated with a chuckle. “And ruin my rep? I wouldnt be babysittin’ the kid here if i knew of some good day-nursery open on Saturdays.” Ponyboy pulled twobits chair over backwards and jumped onto him but twobit saw it coming and had him down in a second. Pony was a bit short on wind. God, he has got to stop smoking or else he wouldnt make the track next year…
“Holler uncle” twobit said as they both laid on 5e floor with twobits left arm wrapped around pony in a choke hold. “Nope” pony said, struggling. He didnt have his usual strength ever since he lost so much weight in he abandoned church. Thats what you get for surviving off of bologna sandwiches for days. “No? Oh, youll be screaming out yes in just a moment.” Twobit said and without a warning he scattered his finger tips around the area just below his ribs. Pony yelped with laughter in a almost instant, trying to slither himself away from twobit but it wasnt working. “Twohohobit!!-” ponyboy screeched. He tried his hardest to block that area with his elbows. It worked but not for long because twobit just quickly creeped his fingers onto the back of pony’s neck. “What do we have here, hmm? A little sensitive neck?” Twobit teased which made ponyboys neck jerk back. “NohohOho” ponyboy laughed out. “Piss ohohoff, tehetwobit!!”
“You two do up the dishes. You can go to the movies if you want before you go see dally and johnny” Darry said as he pulled on his jacket. He paused for a second, watching twobit squashing ponboy. “Twobit, lay off. He aint lookin’ too good.” Twobit rolled his eyes like a child who just got in trouble, helping ponyboy up. Darry was right. Ponyboy was genuinely out of breath from 2 munute of laughter. “Ponyboy, you smoke more than a pack today and ill skin you, understood?” Darry warned. “Yeah” ponyboy muttered, glancing at Darry. “You carry more than one bundle of roofing at a time today and me and soda’ll skin you, understood?” Pony threatened back. Darry grinned before him, soda and steve left for work.
{sorry its so rushed and short, ive been busy but wanted to post a fic🥲}
#tickles#the outsiders#the outsiders tickle#tickle fic#lee!ponyboy#lee!pony#lee!ponyboycurtis#ler!twobit#ler!twobitmathews
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Started a LiS fic called Hollow Glow. I have so many LiS fic ideas I want to write, so please let me know if this is one I should continue. If you'd rather read the first chapter here, it's below the cut.
Max Caulfield knew she was a bad person.
It was a fact about herself she hated, but as she didn't bother to make changes, she had no room to complain. Good people didn't pressure their parents into buying hundreds of dollars worth of instant film, or threaten a girl for throwing a roll of toilet paper at their head. Yet Max had done both and more since the start of her tenure at Blackwell. Somehow, the once mousy little girl had become the queen bee of her high school, having other popular girls like Victoria Chase eating out of the palm of her hand.
If she had to pick a day where it all started, it would be the last time she saw her friend Chloe Price. It had been such a special day—They had one last pirate adventure together, only for William and Joyce to walk through the door of the Price household right as they'd uncovered their old time capsule. The four of them had reminisced over Joyce's world-famous salmon surprise, and Max had left with a swollen heart and a promise that they'd be Max and Chloe forever.
Some friend Max had been, utterly failing to keep that promise. Two years later, Chloe had been severely injured in a car accident, and Max still hadn't seen her since that day. A couple of postcards and empty texts were all she had to give for her “BFF.”
It was a lesson she'd learned from her own cowardice—Friendship is fleeting. If she wanted her future friendships to last, she needed to be someone important. And she was. Max was the most important girl at Blackwell, and soon she'd cement that status with her win in the Everyday Heroes contest. She'd get to go to San Francisco with her hero, Mark Jefferson, and show off her photography in an elite art gallery. Her life was about to change for the better.
All that meant now wasn't the time to risk her connections or her status. So when Victoria Chase took a video of Kate Marsh getting black out drunk and kissing half the male population of Blackwell at a Vortex Club party, Max hadn't protested. When Victoria had posted the video online the next morning, Max hadn't protested. When poor Kate became the most ostracized individual at Blackwell to the point her once daily ritual of playing beautiful violin music in her dorm came to a halt… Max hadn't protested.
That was the real reason Max was a bad person. As the queen bee, she could have ordered Victoria to take down that video and save Kate so much grief. But she remained silent, all because she wanted to appear cool and aloof to her friends. Her silence was as damning as it was pathetic.
At the very least, she'd kept her own participation in the harassment to a minimum, and that had kept It from getting too far out of control. But with another Vortex Club party tonight, she knew anything could happen. Especially with Nathan acting so weird.
As though summoned by her thoughts, Max's phone buzzed with a text from Nathan.
Nathan: Yo Max. Youll be at the end of the world party rite?
Of course she would. That was where Mr. Jefferson would announce her victory. She'd told Nathan this many times, but he still kept asking. Max sighed and put her phone back in her pocket without answering.
It was louder than she’d intended, causing the girl next to her on the lawn in front of Blackwell to look up from her own phone with a frown. “You okay, Max?”
Max put on her most convincing smile. “Just thinking about tonight. It’s going to be crazy.”
“Oh, totes.” Victoria grinned. “You're gonna win the Everyday Heroes contest for sure.”
Victoria was one of the best photographers Max knew, so that was enough to make her smile genuine. “If I do somehow lose, it'd better be to you. I won't accept it otherwise.”
Victoria giggled. “Don't worry, girl! You won't lose, not even to me.”
“I know.” It wasn't just bluster backing her words. Mr. Jefferson had been visibly impressed when seeing her picture. She'd been up by the lighthouse during the golden hour when a squirrel ran by. Seeing the opportunity, Max had coaxed it over with a nut. Her other hand had held her camera balanced against her leg, taking the shot of the little critter reaching out for the treat in Max's palm with the sunset behind it. Honestly, it might have been the best photo Max ever took.
One more night, Max thought. After the contest results are announced, I'll ask Victoria to take the video down. Surely she'll be in such a good mood that she won't mind.
The thought made her gut twist. Once again, she was pushing it off. Just like she kept pushing off her visit to Chloe. After all this time, did Chloe even want to see her?
Max's thoughts were interrupted by a scream. Whirling around, she saw Dana Ward staring up at the roof of the Prescott Dormitories, eyes wide and a hand over her mouth. Confused, Max followed her gaze, only for her heart to stop at what she saw.
Kate was standing there, precariously close to the ledge with a look on her face that seemed grim even from Max's position. There was no question of what she was about to do. What Max had helped push her toward.
Max's body was moving before her mind could catch up. Nothing else mattered in that moment, she could not let Kate fall. This was her fucking fault, all because she was too cruel and too cowardly to do the right thing.
Before she knew it, Max had slammed the doors of the dormitory open, flinging herself toward the stairs and taking them two at a time. Not enough. It wasn't enough, dammit! Kate was going to jump any second!
A burning sensation in Max's lungs told her she had stopped breathing. She forced herself to take deep gulps even as her head swam. Passing out before she even reached Kate would be the worst possible outcome.
Before she knew it, Max had made it to the roof. Kate was still there, standing on the edge with her back to Max. The sound of the door opening was enough for her to turn around, eyes widening when she saw who had come up to stop her. Standing there, silhouetted by the setting sun, she looked like a real life angel.
She also looked furious. “What are you doing here, Max!?” she yelled. “Did you want to get a closer look before I jump?”
The air Max had fought to gain seemed to escape her in a rush. “N-No! Kate, please don't do this.”
“Like you care,” she spat. “You didn't care when everyone in the school laughed over my video. You just laughed alongside them!”
“No!” Max felt her heart constrict and clenched her fist in front of it. “I'm sorry, I should've spoken up, but I never laughed at you!”
She dared to take a step forward, only for Kate to step back to nearly dangle off the ledge. Max's heart stopped beating for a few moments.
“Don't move!” Kate shouted. “If you do, I'll jump!”
Max lifted her hands with her palms out. “O-Okay. I'm staying right here. Listen, Kate—”
“No!” If looks could kill, Max would be a smear on the floor. “You were there! You could've helped me! You could've stopped this at any time. But you didn't. I wasn't worth your time.”
Each accusation stung with brutal honesty, and tears began to stream down Max's face. “I know. You're right, Kate. I'm a terrible person, and I understand if you never forgive me. But you're better than I am, and you'll get through this!”
“How!?” For all the pain behind the question, Max could tell it was genuine. “My mom already thinks I've fallen to Satan. Maybe she's right.”
“You were drunk! We all do stupid shit when we’ve had too much to drink.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Kate clenched her fists, but Max could still see them shaking. “I had a single sip of red wine! That's it!” She sobbed. “But I don't remember anything after that. Just a bright room, a soft voice… and a pinch in my neck.”
Max's blood ran cold. She knew what that meant, but she didn't want to believe it. Her lips formed the question regardless. “Were you… drugged?”
Kate hugged herself, tears streaming down her face. “I don't know… but it doesn't matter anymore. I can't wipe my video off the internet, but I can give them something new to gossip about.” She waved an arm toward the crowd below. The commotion had gathered what looked like over half the student body, all staring up at them with bated breath. Fuck, Kate was right, this was a show to them.
There wasn't any time. While Kate glanced at the students below, Max stepped forward, praying the other girl wouldn't notice. “I'll have Victoria take down the video! Everyone will forget!”
Max froze as Kate turned back to her. “They'll never forget. I bet half of them have copies saved for their own amusement. Well, let's see if they'll enjoy it now.”
At that moment, Max knew she couldn't convince Kate. No matter what she said, it would sound empty from her mouth. That was the consequence of her actions. There was only one way to save Kate now.
“Does anyone down there look like they want you to jump?” Her ploy worked, getting Kate to turn her back on Max. In that instant, Max threw herself forward, hand reaching for the girl who deserved so much better.
Kate noticed. She turned around with wide eyes, only to take an immediate step back over the void. A strangled shout escaped Max when she began to plummet, echoed by the kids below.
Still, Max moved. Her upper body hanging over the edge, stomach and legs pressed against the cold stone of the roof as her only support, she grasped Kate’s arm with one hand and her closest hand with the other, her grip surely tight enough to hurt. The halt in momentum made Kate's shoulder pop, but Max would consider it a win if she got out of this with just a dislocated shoulder.
For a moment, Kate swung there, seemingly in shock that she hadn't hit the ground. Then, she looked up, eyes wide as saucers meeting Max's own.
“What are you doing!? Let go of me!”
“No!” Max planted her feet against the ground and dug her heels in as best she could. Already, she could feel herself sliding forward. “I'm sorry, Kate. I wish I knew what to say, but I can't let you die!”
“Why!?” The demand was more sob than word.
Max could feel her grip slipping. She gasped and tightened it, digging nails into Kate's skin. “Kate… I wish I was more like you. You're kind to everyone you meet, even the bullies. Your violin playing is beautiful, and you have real respect for your religion instead of just using it as a moral clutch. You're beautiful, and smart, and… so much better than me. I know you'll do amazing things someday, you just have to live!”
“Max…” Kate's voice was soft. “I'm so sorry. You have to let go or you'll fall too. I'm… glad you told me that. I can go peacefully now. Thank you.”
No, no! Max refused to let this happen. Shaking her head, she pulled with renewed fury, finally managing to lift her arms and bring Kate closer.
“Max!”
“I've got you!” Max was finally able to get a grip on Kate's shirt, heaving her up and over the roof to safety. “I've—”
She shouldn't have let her guard down. With all her focus on pulling Kate up, she hadn't paid any attention to her own precarious position. The same force that pulled Kate up worked against Max, pulling her forward until her legs flipped over the rampart. Before Max even realized what was happening, she was in the air, plummeting toward the hard ground below.
A chorus of screams rose from the students below, but none were louder than Kate's. At the last moment, Max looked up to see the sheer horror on Kate's face. A small, nonsensical part of Max wondered if Kate saw an equal amount of terror on hers.
Dead. She was dead. Time seemed to slow as she fell, her mind so overcome with despair that she almost couldn’t think. Everything she had worked for her whole life—all of it had amounted to nothing. Max found herself wishing she had made so many different decisions. To stay a shy hipster nerd, to never lose touch with Chloe, to be there for Kate when she needed a friend. Wrong choice after wrong choice had led Max here, to die young and be forgotten. It wasn’t fucking fair!
Later, she would learn how miraculous her survival was. Her legs would take the brunt of the impact, shattering to the point she could never walk again. But she would live, against all odds. She would be granted the second chance she didn’t deserve.
Max didn’t know that now. Her death seemed all but certain. Tears trailing down her cheeks, heart feeling like it had already stopped, Max squeezed her eyes shut and waited for oblivion. Wanting her last thoughts to be pleasant ones, she pictured a young girl with strawberry blonde hair. Her best friend, her captain. If they ever met again, Max swore she would be a better friend.
Darkness claimed her.
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uk general election: vote!!
'ello 'ello 'ello. this thursday july 4th 2024 the uk is having a general election. if you are eligible to vote and you registered in time then please vote!! the polling stations will be open between 7am and 10pm. if you have a postal vote, your ballot must be completed and posted by 10pm on thursday 4th july 2024!
you now need to bring ID with you to vote if you're going in person. you can find which ID you need here: https://www.gov.uk/how-to-vote/photo-id-youll-need (a passport or uk driver's license should be fine). your poll card should also have information on this.
i will personally be giving everyone a free turtle if you vote (real and true) /j
if you're unsure of who to vote for, have a look at the manifestos of the candidates in your area on google. be warned that they are very long and filled with flowery language and empty promises but there are plenty of news websites, tiktok videos etc. that summarise the key points. the likelihood that you will 100% agree with one party is very low so try to look at the overall points that you like about each candidate to help you decide where to cast your vote.
if you're struggling to find a candidate that you agree with the most, think about the ones that you definietly don't like and work from there. for example, if you don't like the tories then consider voting for another party that is most likely to beat them. this is called tactical voting and the good news is that there is a website that can help you with this: https://tactical.vote/ this website will show you the results of the 2019 general election (with current constituency borders) and tells you who to vote for to get the tories out with polls to corroborate!! if the tories aren't expected to win in your constituency then you can vote the way it was intended: for the candidate you like the most!! whether that's the greens, plaid cymru, snp or an independent candidate! remember that you are voting for the candidate in your constituency (local area)!!! if you don't know what your constituency is, you can google what it is for your post code. you can also google the candidates running for your constituency's seat to see how they voted and what they stand for as well as looking at their party's manifesto (if they have one!).
if you're still not happy with your voting options then you can deliberately destroy your ballot as a protest and put that in the box instead. you can do this by purposefully leaving it blank (not crossing off one candidate), by putting a cross next to more than one candidate or by writing something else like a smiley face or a tick or something because only a X inside the box for one candidate will count. this is still better than not voting at all!!
it is reallyyyyy important that you vote, regardless of if you think it's pointless or that you don't know enough or you're not into politics etc. because politics will always impact your daily life whether you like it or keep up with it or not!!
it's even more important that you vote if you are a young person!! statistically, young people are the worst demographic for voting in elections. we need to change this!! it's only a bad thing as parties can use this as reasoning to cut policies out that benefit young people, which is not a good thing!!
even if you vote for someone who has no chance of winning the seat in your area it's showing the other parties what you like! for example, if the greens don't win the seat but get very close then the winner might try to implement more environmentally friendly policies!
also if you think your vote won't change anything, trust me it will!!! there have been poll maps that show the difference between over 65 voters and young voters (18-25) and let me tell you, you have never seen such a different map (almost completely blue to completely red). if you don't vote, it only makes the votes of bullshit parties like reform uk and the tories stronger!!!
(i also highly recommend looking at the series "electile dysfunction" that comedian munya chawawa did on tiktok, it's hilarious and very informative!!)
what are you going to do on thursday july 4th before 10pm: vote!!!!
#plsplspls vote!!!#if i see anyone not voting i will personally steal your kneecaps#general election#general election 2024#uk elections#british politics#genny lec#get the tories out#tactical voting#escxelle
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Daily Writing Complete‼️
Homestly, not really. I wrote 505, IM GOING BACK TO 505, sorry, words on my main story… BUTTT i wrote a bunch of notes and stuff that has to equate to like 700 words??? But thats for my main story, I finished one of the CW!!!
That’ll be out to you guys tomorrow. Im pretty pround of it! Especially for 1.5k! But… I feel like its a bit rushed, and in some places it feels a bit exposition heavy? But i do like the emotion and symbolism in the story. It turnes out pretty good I think! I cant wait for you guys to see this because then you guys can actually get a grip for how I write and stuff, and not judge my writing off these stupid blurbs and stuff! Yk, if you guys like the one tomorrow, I’ll give yall a Thousand Fireflies to eat up too! Just- dont copy it alright? Its not free-use work!!! In fact- i should probably put that in my bio and stuff. But anyways… IM PROUD OF MYSELF! I feel like I was blocked on my main story, because I had a fun time writing this side project! I just that goes to show how important it is to take breaks from main projects in favor for smaller ones, just so you dont burn yourself out by accident! Because burning yourself out is… NOT GOOD! Not good to sya the least… but yah. I feel like i got multiple questions wrong on my science quiz today and istgoodness… IT WAS EZ I SWEAR TO GOODNESS. I just tripped up during it… Also guys I realized that I should really start yapping more irl because… Im look at these posts and thinking- wow. This person must have no friends if they have THIS many thoughts and no one to tell them to. AND THEN I REALIZE IM TALKING ABT MYSELF. Like sometimes I either dont speak because i dont want to interrupt someone- but the times I do speak… PEOPLE INTERRUPT ME! AND THE TIMES WHEN I FEEL LIKE I CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK- I INTERRUPT SOMEONE ELSE! Of course this doesnt happen that often, to be honest Im too busy wriitng during my lunch break to talk, but you know. PRIORITIES!!!
I LOVE PINTEREST SO MUCH. GOING CRAZY WITH IDIA SHROUD IN THE BACKGROUND 😍😍😍 i love idia sheoud i relate to him sm (not really) tbh I feel like i relate to him- but at the same time I dont??? Bec he gets prideful and arrogant sometimes and I dont get like that (HEH NOT TO FLEX OR ANYTHING 😼😼🤗🤗)
I feel like if I related to anyone, it would probably be leona. Not because hes like super fit or anything- LIKE IM THE FURTHEST AWAY FROM HIM PERSONALITY. Its just that like, him being the second and stuff, doomed to never be the first, the best, really resonates with me. Especially since Im surrounded by people who self-proclaim themselves as ‘first places’ everyday, kinda gets on my nerves… WRITING IDEA!!!!
Like im not saying having a big ego is wrong, nor am I saying that those peoples achievements are bad BECAUSE they are so amazing. i think they should be proud of that, and they dont owe humility to anyone because they worked hard for it, (AHEM AHEM VIL SCHOENHEIT MY KING). But its when they see people that are trying to reach for those ambitions and they flaunt how they could do better. THATS when I start doubting their ability. Because you could be the best in the world, but if your too busy running your mouth about how your the best, you’ll be left in the dust- and youll find that all those people who were under you before… Appeared triumphant.
IDK DAILY WORDS OF WISDOM ADDED HERE TOO. Vil Schoenheit my KINGGGGG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM. When i become rlly good at writing, I want to be able to act like him!! Because he is confident in himself, doesnt owe humility to anyone (but of course still expresses it from time to time), and is respectful about it (we dont talk about book 5). I love Vil Schoenheit, such a misunderstoid character fr. OH YEAH
If your not a twisted wonderland fan, these are the characters I mentioned in this post!!!
^ Idia Shroud in the middle, next to his lil’ bro Ortho Shroud!!
^ Vil Shoenheit in the middle, to the right is Rook Hunt, and to his left is Epel Felmier (the short one!)
^ Leona Kingscholar!!
ALRIGHT GUYS!!! Now, I have math hw. SO I NEEDA BOUNCE! SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW AND STUFF!!!
Daily music rec is Sponsored by this guy !!!@unmotivatedartistry PRETTY GOOD SONG!!!
Here are some snacks for the road: 🍔🍔🌭🌯🥙🥪🥪🍕🌯🥗🥙🍔🥪🌯 (taco bell burritos proceed with caution)
BYEEEEEEEEE
-Kani
#Spotify#writing#creative writing#oc#writing challenge#creative work#twst leona#leona kingscholar#vil shoenheit#twisted wonderland#idia shroud#twst idia#twst vil#ortho shroud#epel felmier#rook hunt#twst tsum tsum#505#stream of consciousness#pinterest#going crazy#rant post#personal rant#personal ramblings#daily words#wisdom#twist wonderland#books and reading#music#music recs
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✤------------------------------------------✤
◈Anything Please◈
✤------------------------------------------✤
<Kazuha x Reader>
-Angst
⏤͟͟͞͞ Part 2 - The one
Summary: He always leaves you to venture the world but during those times, he met someone new, someone better than you and thus he left you.
Reader: female
Warnings: --
A/n: feel free to correct my grammar
I hope you enjoy~!
--
"I'll come back to you soon, dont worry!"
You waved at him good bye as he grew smaller and smaller until he left your vision.
You always been a lucky girl, always getting what you wanted and so you hoped that he will become yours.
You went back at your abode wondering when he will come back.
You two met not to long ago, he saved you when you were being attacked by some treasure hoarders on the way home. To repay him you let him rest at your house whenever he wants and he gladly took it. During those times he visits, you two grew to know eachother.
You always tried your best to enjoy the moment his here with you because you always think about the day he will leave again.
You two werent official or anything just some friends that kind of act like a couple but not really?
But youre okay with anything aslong as you can still see him but your heart still yearned more.
Going to the shower with a heavy heart.
The thing that you feared the most is him finding someone new, someone to love and he wont come here anymore.
You wanted to confess to him, you tried to confess to him but every time you always get interrupted or your confidence just dissapears causing you to be a stuttering mess.
-
"Oh! Kazuha welcome, its been a while!" You greeted him.
Its been a year and a half since his last visit and you dearly miss him.
"Hehe, sorry i didn't inform you about my whereabouts, i forgot" he said while scratching the back of his head.
'You forgot about me?' Is what you wanted to say.
"Haha its ok!"
"Anyways come in!" You said before you can step aside, you noticed someone behind him.
"Oh? Who's that behind you, Kazuha?"
"Oh! Yes i came here because i wanted you to meet my girlfriend!"
You heart fell into pieces
All your hope just dissapeared
You knew that once he had a girlfriend your position in his life will become lower and his visits will become rarer.
Your fear came true, thats what you get for not confessing soon, now youre too late.
'Girlfriend?'
"Hello, you just be y/n, i heard alot about you" she said smiling.
Oh how you want to be introduced like that by him 'this is my girlfriend, y/n!' But you were simply to late and thought he'll come back to you, single.
"Oh- hello! Nice to meet you" you faked a smile.
"You too"
"And im sorry, y/n! We cant stay here for too long, were meeting her parents, hehe, just wanted to stop by and introduce her to you so next time you two wont be that much of a stranger!"
"Oh its ok! And good luck at your guys relationship, hope it last long" you chuckled but deep down you wanted them to break up this instant.
"Haha thank you!"
"Thank you"
"Lets go now, love"
"Mhm, bye y/n, hope we meet again soon"she waved.
I waved back beading them good bye.
They turned at their back and their figure become smaller smaller.
Oh how familiar this scene is
Where you seen him go but this time hes with someone
Someone he love
and that someone will never ever be you.
-
You sat there at your bed, praying to whoever to please let him come back to you and look at you with that loving gaze he held for her.
Youll do anything! Anything please! Just to suit this ache and be with him.
But this time the gods didn't let you have your way and you continued to have a heavy heart.
--
*Masterlist*
Its been a while since my last post.
Im currently working on a fanfic but my brain keeps skiping to the main part so idk how to start it and stuff💀my brain rn
I wrote this short fic at school, so its a bit uncreative-ishbut i do hope you enjoyed it! :D
-February 27, 2023
#fanfic#genshin fanfic#genshin headcanons#genshin impact#genshin smut#genshin fluff#angst#genshin fandom#genshin angst#fluff#no comfort#kazuha angst#kazuha#genshin kazuha#kazuha no comfort#short fiction#quick fic#genshin kazuha angst#kazuha x reader#female reader#kazuha x reader angst#another love#one sided love#kazuha one sided love#kazuhax#Kazuha genshin#genshin kazuha no comfort
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Long way to the truth
Cw: ptsd nightmares,paranoia,Lucas having a small breakdown bcs he gets stuck in a motel bcs of the rain.
->Chapter 2: Alabama/Missisipi
Next morning he found himself with all his possesions and his van intact. Lucas sits up and stretches out, letting out a strained grunt as his muscles get pulled.
This was going to fuck with his back later, he just knows it.
Passing his hands across his face, he gets ready for the Next leg of the journey. Lucas sits on the drivers Seat with the keys in the ignition, a yawn escapes him and he considers just for a moment to go back to bed,his face rests on the steering wheel.
And then his eyes look at the sun visor and he remembers the picture there. He sighs and reincorporates himself, theres only one way to fully wake himself up.
He knows hes going to hate himself for It.
If Wheeler did this to him once,he can survive it.
So what does he do? He takes off his tank top and opens the drivers door,stepping into the cold breeze of the winter
Lucas goes stiff as a board,goosebumps all over his skin. He starts cussing himself and wheeler out as he stretches out his legs and torso while the cold air bites at his skin.
Yep, he was fully awake now.
As soon as hes done limbering up, he hops right back into the van, puts on his tanktop and snatches one of his hoodies as he turns on the van and then the AC
--God FUCKING damnit Alphonso and the whole fucking platoon-- he grumbled-- stupid FUCKING idea. --He drives along the highway while cussing out the cold and anything related to it.
He still remembers the first time he had suffered the same way he did just now, during the war, he wanted to overlseep for just one day, and what did Alphonso do? He snatched him out of bed with the help of a few buddies and threw Lucas into the cold morning air without his shirt on.
Lucas Will never live down the absolute girlish scream that left him,he soon warmed up whilist chasing Alphonso around to get back his shirt.
Its a fond memory that makes him smile,but also curse that day when it happened. Worst experience of his LIFE.
Eventually, he does find his way to a local dinner where he orders some breakfast and sits there in a booth to Mark out the rest of his route in his map.
But his attention does get pulled away as a family passes by him. He looks at the parents play with their child, he sighs a little sad.
He always wanted to settle down,to at least marry someone he loves and have a calm life. If he ever were to have kids,he'd Like to be just as fatherly as Alphonso was towards him (Which was a lot). Given the twists and turns of his life, he hasnt gotten the chance yet- if he ever does get it.
A part of him doesnt like this whole crusade hes doing,he would very much be in his family's house near the lake, making merry with his family and what little Friends he has.
Yet it wouldnt sit right with him if he let all of this pass, he wouldnt do Wheeler like that. He wont forget and he Will see it through.
Lucas just wished that the road wasnt so lonely.
His food arrives not shortly after hes ordered it, he thanks the waiter and keeps marking out his route. The waiter sees him and adds-- oh by the way,theyll be doing some maintenance to the bridge on that road you wanna go thru, youll have to take a detour here-- he points at the map.
--Oh, wasnt aware- thanks
The waiter nodded and shortly after he Walked away. Small gestures like that really did stick with him, he wasnt very used to those kinds of things.
Post breakfast, he return to his van and resumed his drive. Now in early morning,the houses were bathed in golden light as the sun slowly pushed its way upwards,a few clouds litter the Sky and the birds begin their morning choir.
Lucas feels a lot better now that he had breakfast, a lot less zombie and more like a person. Mindlessly,he fiddles with the radio trying to find a good station to listen to, he was one of those guys who went about his life listening to music.
"Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike
He's down on his luck, it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day, working for her man
She brings home her pay, for love, mmm, for love"
He smiles at the song,oh he loves this one.
As sappy as it was, the message of the song was something that he could relate to. What he was doing could count as a labor of love, of dedication.
If he was being honest,there were days where he couldnt even get out of bed or live with himself. There were days where he wouldve loved to stay in bed all day and slowly rot away, but he knew that he had to Keep going, not so much for a chance at vindication but more like living for his best friend and mentor.
"She says, "We've gotta hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot"
Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it, I swear
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer"
He had to hold on to what little he got,Wether that was this mission or his loved ones back in Florida. He had to Keep going for Wheeler and all of those who lost their lives at the hands of the goverment.
Midway through his drive through Alabama,he notices a Man parked to the side of the road, fiddling with his car's engine.
Lucas takes a moment to consider his options,a sigh escapes past his lips as he also notices little kid inside the car.
His paranoia would advice him to not stop and Keep driving,but his Morals tells him otherwise. With a begrudging sigh, he pulls to the side of the road and hops off, he walks up to the guy, tan skin and black hair.
--need help with that,Man?-- he asked, getting the Mans attention.
--Yes,please-- the Man replied,looking at the engine. -- it started making some god awful noises, and it smelled foul in the car. -- he anxiously checks his watch-- 'm late for my kids school already
The Man before him spoke with a hispanic accent, it reminds Lucas of Alphonso's latin roots. Now hes even more compelled to help the guy, he nodds and checks for the damage around the car.
He cant help but notice the foul smell of oil,he checks the lights on the dashboard And he clicks his tongue-- ah heres the issue, you need your oil changed, that explains the noise and the smell
--chinga' madre-- the Man muttered,passing his hands across his face-- I was supposed to get it changed today, just after I dropped my kid to school
Lucas quickly darts his gaze to the kid in the backseat, just looking at the Sky though the Window. Then he walks back to the Man and says-- I have a bit of spare oil in my van,'m on uh a r-roadtrip, I can change it for you, im a huge handy man
--Please, thank you-- he replied.
--papa! Preguntale si puede arreglarnos la radio!--Said the kid from the back Seat (dad! Ask him if he can fix our radio).
--Thats uh- my kid. Shes been begging me to get the radio fixed, I havent had the time for it
Lucas chuckles, he knew basic spanish thanks to Alphonso, so he got the gist of it-- youre in luck then- I am- I was a radioman during the Vietnam war, I know my way 'round a stereo
--you dont have to- its gonna take some work and I dont want to waste more of your time
--s'no Biggie,I promise-- he replied-- just lemme get my tools out
After changing the oil and making sure the car worked, Lucas sits on the passenger Seat Next to the Man as he fixes up the car's radio. It was a wiring issue that he had encountered before,peeled wires that touched but didnt really send any power to the radio.
--The systems pretty old,no wonder the wires got worn down-- Lucas commented as he finished up his work and slid the radio back into place. Then he gestures at the radio-- well,what does the little Lady wanna listen to?
The kid lunges forward between the two seats,scaring the hell out of both men. She turns on the radio and takes a second to find her favorite station,and to his surprise its the same station he listens to.
"Tommy's got his six string in hock, now he's holding in
When he used to make it talk so tough, ooh, it's tough
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers
"Baby, it's okay, someday"
We've gotta hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot"
--Shes a metalhead Like her mamma-- the dad explains,a little embarassed.
--She has good taste, I listen to this station too-- Lucas answers with a smirk-- raisin' them right
--gracias señor!--Says the child, giving Lucas a big hug,he pats her arm with a smile.
--No hay de que, tengan un buen día los dos-- he sounds sooo gringo while he talks but the kids smile is so bright he can forget his embarassment.
he kid pulls away and the hispanic Man says-- im Dante,by the Way. This is my kid Sofía- youve got some decent spanish
--Decent is a bit of an overstatement-- the ex soldier replied, a little meek-- im uh- Lucas
--Who taught you that?
--My captain- He grew up in a hispanic household, he gave me an earful every time I got a words wrong so- I had to learn the hard way
Dante laughed and nodded in agreement-- poor bastard,wheres your captain now? --Lucas keeps quiet and the other Man nodds and adds-- sorry
--s'alright been 30 somethin years-- he replied, a Sting in his chest.
--Still,thank you for everything-- the hispanic Man added,offering his hand. Lucas takes it and both shake hands.-- takes a lotta strength to be kind to a world that has caused you so much pain
--Dont mention it, ill get outta your hair now-- Lucas smiles awkwardly and lets go of the hand-- and uh- thanks.
Walking back into his van,he happily waves the family goodbye as they drive off.
A heavy feeling sits in his chest, so far hes told two people that hes been dealing with his pain for thirty years,that its nothing to him at this Point.
He was lying, there wasnt a DAY where his guilt and shame didnt eat him from the inside, there wasnt a day where grief tried to sink him into a pit of Despair.
Was he saying that to people for their own well being or his? Was that his way of telling himself that he should move on already?.
Lucas takes a quick look at his watch,if he wants to make it to Mississippi by tomorrow,he better hurry up.
To Keep himself sane, he keeps in minds Dante's words and ups the volume of the radio. He takes a deep breath and turns on the van,pulling It back into the road.
"Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer
Livin' on a prayer
Oh, we've gotta hold on, ready or not
You live for the fight when that's all that you've got
Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear
Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer"
Soon he finds himself jamming out to the song,singing along and smiling just a little bit. There was something about him helping strangers even if his paranoia told him otherwise,he always felt compelled to do the right thing,even if he didnt have the energy for it.
Lucas was a good Man,sadly he couldnt see it himself.
He doesnt get to Mississippi that day,it kind of annoys Him a little. But he knows that if he wasnt for him,Dante would still be stuck in the side of the road.
Its not that he regrets it, its that he wishes he could stay on track. Just like he did in the army,the guilt of each passing Day without answers is getting heavier, he wishes he could just *do it* Like he did in the army.
But then again,plenty of things have changed since his army days,hasnt it?
Yet he couldnt extend that same mercy to himself, he didnt feel worthy of it. After killing his best friend and mentor, how could he be nice to himself when he caused the pain he feels?.
A sudden noise of static makes him snap out of his thoughts,his eyes dart to the radio equipment behind him, its crammed but he managed to squeeze through.
Expert hands finetune the signal's frequency to match the incoming broadcast. He zeros in flipping switches and turning the handles, its garbled and his foot kicks the spare car battery that the equipment is hooked on -- cmon y'son of a bitch
he only has a bit of his equipment hooked to the car battery, hes sure that if he had his whole set up working, this would be easier. And hes not about to go out and mess with one of the Many antennas hes got within that van, its the middle of the night and he doesnt want to look weird in case somebody shows up, less witnesses (And less embarassment experienced).
《Recent discoveries...-- codename Rainbow- collective unconcious》
--c'mon c'mon c'mon...--He mutters, the transmission still garbled. Lucas sighs and curses under his breath, eyes setting on the nearest radio antenna and snatching It.
He opens the back door of the van and with the help of a stepladder he climbs up the van and sets the antenna on the roof of the vehicle.
When he returns back to the van, the signal stabalizes a little but its quiet. The way he works the radio equipment is truly a sight to see, tired eyes set on the visualizer of the radio wave and pray he hears something.
A few minutes go by as he sits there in wait, yawning and eyes Teary as the wear and tear of the trip slowly takes A hold of him. His head ends up being held up by his hand,with closed eyes and on the brink of falling asleep he finally hears.
《MILTON-HAVEN》
--JESUS CHRIST--It startled him, sending Him back flying and falling onto the Many bags and boxes behind him. The impact hurts his back and he groans-- motherfucker...-- he rolls onto his side before the transmission goes out.
But its a start, its a clue.
He had place the origin of the broadcast somewhere around Washington. "Milton-haven" must be a city or a town there.
A little in pain,but happy,he sits up and puts down the antenna,tucking it back where it was and closing the door. Just in case and asleep as he was, he does stay awake just a little more to make sure nobody saw him.
Lucas sits in the dark, rifle by his side, eyes falling closed and back aching. But its a necessary measure, paranoid? Probably. Hes seen things,hes heard things he isnt supposed to, he knows that. They know that,and hes not taking any chances.
Thankfully,sleep does find him, he lays down in that sleep bag and underneath the starlit Sky,silent, he gives into exhaustion (and hopes that fall doesnt fuck him over in the morning)
Mud sticks to soles of his boots,heavy with each step. Above him the Sky is red and each bullet looks like its made of Fire, theres static in the air and the humidity in the air smells foul.
Hes got to find him hes got to-
--CAPTAIN!--he Shouts over the storm of bullets over his head, repting on the ground with short ragged breaths, they mix with whatever is in the air, with each inhale this weird awful taste of mercury And chemicals set in his tongue.
"Where the hell is he?!" Lucas thinks,reaching the base of a tree
And then a scream rings in the air, a cacophony of them. He turns to see blood mix with the Mud,theres something moving underneath the earth and its disturbing to see.
His eyes dart all around the place,wherever he set his eyes on,his Friends and anyone he knows are being torn to shreds. Clothes,flesh and even bone fell to the ground and sank in the Mud, and that when his own mortality hits him like a punch in the gut.
He was barely 18,just a child in the grand Scheme of things. He finished highschool last year
Last year he was laughing and Rolling around in the dirt with his Friends.
wasnt it just yesterday when he participated in the robotics club? When he won his first engieneering competition?
Wasnt he just thirteen a few hours ago he was all excited for highschool?
Its like he was ten just minutes ago,coming home from school and hugging his big dog and telling good ol Rose about his day in school.
Hell...,wasnt he three years old seconds ago as he held on to his dads hand as he Walked his first steps?
Jesus christ,he was just a kid,what was he doing here?!
Lucas has tears running down his eyes,they feel heavy and mercury like as they drench his skin and gear. His heart feels like its going to explode,he cant tell if the drumming in his ears were bombs or the his pulse.
His nails splinter and break as he climbs up a tree, hooking his foot on a hollow in the bark for leverage,but as he reaches the tree he rolls his ankle pretty bad. The warmth of the pain and blood rushing mixes with the shaking of his hands,his knees feel weak but his muscles are tense as shit.
Back pressed against the sturdy bark of the tree. He curls into himself, not even noticing the Weight of the rifle as it swings to his side,it doesnt fall just because he has It slung over his shoulder.
With his knees against his chest, his hands go to cover his ears to drown out the piercing,blood curling,pained screams of his Friends. Where the hell was Alphonso?!
The musky,metallic Air of blood and chemicals stick to his skin, the heat is unbearing even if his blood is running cold.
Everything is so hazy, Like a dream,Like static in the radio frequency,he cant think,he cant move. A scream of madness escapes him --MAKE IT STOP!--he curls further into himself, he just wants his home,his silence, his peace.
And then....hes Back home?
Standing over the lake, hes got his hunting rifle in hand,he swears he can hear his dog barking in the distance. Above him the Sky is clear and nice with starts that shine a faint electric blue,his ears feel like theyre filled with static.
--Rose? Where are you girl?-- he shouts,looking around-- C'mon girl!
No reply.
He sighs and passes his hands across his face, but the water ripples And he gets distracted from thinking what he was doing here. It was like a dream,Like he had an objective but he didnt know what.
In the lake,a few more ripples shake the water, his eyes blink a few times to concentrate on the image.
And what he sees horrified him to the Core,his heart feels like plummeting anf his chest feels fluttery with fear.
Giant, its a Giant with messy,ghillie suit like strands,theres an antenna sending signals which seems to be the cause of the rippling water. When his eyes fully focus on it, the spotlight in the things head shines brightly it stings his eyes and he almost pulls back.
But the damn thing seems to be pointing at him. So,"when in doubt shoot it down" Someone had told him once, who told him that? Something...wheeler was it?
The bullets Fire from the gun in a defeaning cacophony of piercing noise,in that moment his eyes flutter Open and hes back to the hellscape Battlefield.
Yet theres nothing more horrifying than the sight before him.
Alphonso looks back at him with wide eyes,his hands were on lucas' shoulders but they slowly go slack, whatever final words he mightve said get lost in the hellish choir of the Battlefield.
--no no no no- no no!--Lucas cries, trying to hold on to his mentor,his buddy,his best friend, as he slides down the branch.
Both fall to the Mud with a sloppy,morbid thud. Wheeler's eyes are still wide but his pupils are contracted,barely two dots in his eyes.
Lucas had Fallen on his side,it was a miracle that his ribs havent cracked as he landed on his rifle. If he did hes not feeling It.
He gets on his knees and tries to shake wheeler awake,crying,screaming Like a scared kid, the sweat on his skin is soaked in his Gear, he feels nauseous and hes shaking like hes on the brink of a panic attack.
"What have I done- no no no" he thinks over and over, trying to shake him awake."Dont leave me- dont leave me-dontleaveme.--
--WHEELER!-- Lucas screams as he jolts awake,tears in his eyes and heart beating so fast it might as well burst out of his chest.
He passes his hands across his face,sweaty as he is. His hair sticks to his face and his tank top feels horrible against his back.
Quickly,he disposes of his shirt and sits on his makeshift bed. --Goddamnit-- he sobbs loudly, covering his eyes and trying to Keep the tears in and failing miserably.
--Cmon co-cole- its jus-t a nightmare, pull-pull it together Man--he mutters to himself over and over, he knows what his mother would say "men dont cry" but its bullshit, its bullshit because the tears fall down his face like waterfalls.
And he gives in,he cries for what feels like hours but might not be- his perception of time is pretty fucked right now. Even as the morning light bathes him in comforting warmth,he feels weak and like he might just crumble into a puddle of tears and bones interlaced with pain and trauma.
It takes him a solid twenty minutes to recompose himself,his stomach feels tied up,he cant even drink from his water bottle, despite the fact that hes dry as a desert.
But he gets out of his bed and ties up his hair in a bun, he needs to get somewhere to showers and get breakfast, a motel maybe.
He reaches some motel he doesnt bother checking the name of, he rents a room and goes to shower.
You know those things you do that you know its weird as shit? That you just look at yourself doing it and you scold yourself for it?
Thats what Lucas feels as he sets the small air tight container on the lid of the toilet. What did the container have? A nine milimiter, of course!
If he could fit the rifle,trust me,he would.
Getting into the shower, the scolding hot water hits his skin, it relaxes his muscles, sore and tense. A deep sigh falls past his lips, he massages his neck to try and relieve the pain.
--Jesus christ,'m old-- He murmurs, leaning his head back so the water cascades down his beautiful curly black hair.
With half lidded eyes,he looks at the Many hair care products hes got for his hair. It would be some hard work to actually do his whole routine.
For a few seconds he considers Wether or not to do it. But,hes been through some shit today,so why not treat himself.
He grabs one of the smaller radios hes got and turns it on, the music flows in the air as he showers, combing the shampoo into his hair, slowly relaxing as the act of taking care of himself sets in and soothes his soul.
And he even humms along to the music,for a moment he feels back at home in Florida, still somewhat calm and at ease. The routine he usually does comes natural to him, combing the creams into his locks, he takes a few hours to finish his routine and shower.
The water falls down his chiseled jaw and neck as he throws his head back a little. A grunt comes from him as he stretches out his neck,the muscles slowly untenses giving him a bit of relief.
When he steps out of the showers,he walks to the mirror all fogged up. His hand wiped away the mist and looks at himself in the mirror.
He looks tired,he knows.
But aside from that, he looks at his form in the mirror. Beautiful tan skin littered with scars across his biceps,clavicles and torso.
For his age,he looked good, strong muscles and figure, tall and quite lanky but his stomach was toned,his legs and arms could easily pull up his weight If needed. He could notice a few grey hairs across his happy trail, but its not like he minds,he thinks it adds to his charm.
After drying off he brushes out his hair and applies some dry conditioner on it. Then,he gets changed to go and get some breakfast at a nearby dinner.
Lucas walks out of the motel with a bag,his van keys and the gun concealed (he had a permit) and asks around for a good dinner.
In the dinner he asks for his usual,coffee and Bacon.When the waitress leaves, he takes out his Journal and starts writing down his plans for today.
"To do list:
•Refill gas.
•check up on unused equipment
•security check on the motel"
His ears perk up as the dinner quiets down,he turns to the TV hangung from the ceiling. Its a weather report and its announcing strong storms throughout the whole day, he sighs loudly with a scowl on his face and leans his head on his hand.
"Just what I fuckin' needed" he thinks,looking Like the most pissed off Man to ever walk the earth.
When his food arrives he thanks the waitress and gets to eat his breakfast,eyeing the to-do list. He sighs and adds one more item
"Get a therapist (long term?)"
Post breakfast, he pays up and goes back to the motel. He takes a few minutes to do a quick security check,after that,he goes to his room,locks up the door and the small bathroom Window and sets up his rifle so he can Keep an eye out on the van,to which he has a Straight eyeline to.
Soon,the Sky starts thundering and with it comes the heavy,pouring rain. He sighs and purses his lips, he liked the rain,he didnt like the thunder.
Lucas sits by the Window, but in a way that most of his body is hid by the wall. He keeps the rifle at hand, while his Journal is on his lap, he taps on it with his pen.
The rain Is the only thing he can hear and with each thunder that cracked in the greying Sky, he got more and more on edge. His leg bounces rapidly.
A few,agonizing moments go by before he puts the pen down and snaps the Journal closed quite loudly.
--Thats it, I cant take it anymore!-- he stands up,hands slapping on the arm rests of the chair he was sitting.
Lucas paces around,moving things around to busy himself, his breath is quite ragged and gets progressively more riled up with each thunder crack. His hands ball up in fists and relax a few times.
Its Bringing up bad memories, thunders sound and feel like bombs, and it drives Him nuts. He sighs loudly, passing his hands across his face.
Then he remembers something Wheeler used to say,quite a lot.
--bad thoughts give me bad dreams,bad dreams and my bad dreams make me get up to walk, bad thoughts give me bad dreams and my bad dreams make me sleep walk-- he mutters,over and over again while rummaging around one of his bags, there was a radio somewhere he could listen to.
What snaps him out of that little stressfull chance is,oddly enough, is a dumb memory of wheeler.
It was the first few days of his deployment,he remembers tossing and turning in his bed because he was still getting used to not have his dog at the foot of the bed just crushing half of his legs.
He tried laying on his side to see if the change of positions helped him finally get some shut eye.
And then he hears a creak from the bed infront of him. A little weirded out, he sits up and see the walking form of Wheeler in the darkness.
--Cap?--He calls out Gently, but wheeler doesnt reply.--cap!
Sighing,he quickly puts on his pants and chases after his captain whilist he puts his "lucky flannel" on. Alphonso is walking with nothing but his boxers on
Lucas gets infront of Wheeler,only to notice his eyes are closed and he looks somewhat in peaceful rest.
"Hes...sleep walking?" He thinks,letting the Man walk past him. For a moment he considers leading Him back to bed,but then his 18 Year old brain has an idea,which is to follow him around and see what Wheeler gets up to.
So,he follows Him around,much to the amusement of the more high ranking officials Who look at Lucas as if to say "what the fuck?" To which Lucas would shrug and Keep following him. If anyone asked,he was chasing after wheeler to Keep him safe just in case he got into danger, and totally not to get some dirt on him if he did anything stupid.
Wheeler gets to a small kitchen in camp,walking across the cold floor like nothings bothering Him. In said small kitchen he opens the fridge and says-- margareth! Wheres the Icecream?
Lucas stands there absolutely flabbergasted-- wh what?
--wheres the Icecream! Im craving a tube of Mac n cheese!
--Where Would you even get a tube of-- he stops himself,realizing how stupid he sounds talking to a person who is SLEEP WALKING.
Wheeler walks up to him and puts his hands on Lucas' shoulder, sounding very serious and with his eyes still closed-- margareth, this is a matter of National security,the enemy got their hands on my tube of Mac n cheese Icecream,we need to retrieve it
And at that Point he looses it, Lucas bends over with laughter,cackling Like a damn hyena,squatting to the floor because he cant stay standing up without the risk of falling.
--What in the hell are you two doing?!--One of the officials yell at both, Lucas cant stop laughing and wheeler wakes up.
Wheeler looks disoriented and confused,until he sees hes in the kitchen,with his lieutenant Rolling on the floor and his superior looking at him weird with a smirk on his face from the entrance to the room.
--Sleep walking again,wheeler? -- asks his superior.
--'pparently,Sir. Sorry
Thats when Lucas,being the little shit he is,he stands up and looks at the Man at the entrance and saying-- Sir,Sir,you dont get it. Captain wheeler here is saying somebody stole his Mac and cheese Icecream, its a matter of National security
His higher up looks at him and bursts out laughing, breaking the tension. --You had that dream again?!-- Wheeler's superior asked,leaning on the doorsill for support as he laughs.
--WAIT! YOURE TELLING ME HE HAD THIS DREAM BEFORE?!--Lucas asked,out of breath from laughing.
--YES HE DID
At that point, wheeler is thoroughly embarassed and decides to close the fridge's door and walk out of the room. What he doesnt account for is his lieutenant chasing after him,still in a fit of giggles.
--Wheeler wait! Wait up DAMNIT!--He yells,eyes teary.
--get it over with,cole-- said Alphonso,red Like a tomato.
--Look I just want to ask two questions-- he started-- do you like Mac n cheese Icecream?
--i absolutely do not!--the older Man replied-- its disgusting
--okay,do you know anyone named margareth?
His captain looks away,even more embarassed-- thats the name of my cat,I talk t'her sometimes
--Why did you name your cat margareth? Did you see her in your dream?
Wheeler returns to walking away, even more flustered than before-- THATS FOUR QUESTIONS
--WHEELER PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW!
The memory sets a feeling of fondness in Lucas' chest. He finally finds the radio and sets it on the floor beside him as he returns back to the spot he was sitting at.
Giggles escapes him as the memory replays in his head. Dumbest shit hes ever seen in his life, and one of the best memories he has from the war.
"I can hear the cannons calling
As though across a dream
And I can smell the smoke of hell
In every stitch and seam
And like flowers, the bodies tumble
Around this muddied lot
I cannot hear them scream
"Forget me not"
He looks out the Window a little,he scans his sorroundings. Nothing.
Lucas relaxes in the chair,picking up his Journal and drawing little doodles here an there as he taps his foot to the rythm of the song.
It kills Him a little,Knowing that throughout this while day hes been thinking about his best friend. How his trauma seems to be getting under his skin, all it took was one dream to shatter his process into pieces, pieces sharp like broken glass.
He misses him so much,there isnt a day where he feels like he would do anything to have him by his side. And meanwhile the Sky keeps being striked by lightning and thunder,the sheer impact shakes the glass in the Windows which doesnt help him at all
"Your voice it carries over
The hubbub and the hum
And it paints the sky and circles high
Like the beating of a drum
You will scream "I won’t forget you"
But I’ll cover my cold ears
It cannot be a lie
If no-one hears
'Cause although you say good day to me
I know I don’t belong"
His eyes look away from the Journal to the Window,he stares off remembering the aftermath of that funny little interaction with Alphonso.
--I hope I didnt wake you.-- said Alphonso as he laid back down to sleep.
--no y'didnt. I just cant sleep. I used to sleep with my dog at my feet- not feeling her ontop of my legs is messin' with me--Lucas replied,sounding a little shy about opening up. He scratches the back of his neck and clings to his lucky flannel a little closer.
--Whats on yer mind, kid?-- Alphonso asked with that "no nonsense" in his tone. Fatherly but stern.
--'m homesick okay? I miss my dog,and my Friends, and my parents-- he replied,feeling his face heat up.
Catching up on why hes acting the way he is acting,Wheeler sits up in bed and says-- theres no shame in missin' home kiddo, its jus' part of bein' human
--its not very mainly though
--Fuck being manly, if being manly means being emotionless its not worth it.-- he replied-- fuck that, its better to get it out. Trust me
Lucas nodds and he lays down in bed,sinking into the matress.-- youre really becomin' my dad huh?
--lissen kid,once this is over 'm bringin' the adoption papers-- Alphonso half joked,laying Back down as well.
--n then you say you aint got no favoritism-- The younger Man added with a smirk.
--Guilty. But thats 'tween me n god -- the captain answered-- but seriously though,Next time you feel like talkin' about somethin' y'come find me,'kay?
--Ten-four, cap.
Alphonso was always so nice to him,so caring and protective. Lucas knew that he had to cut himself some slack,if it wasnt for him- then for Wheeler who would really like it if he was Kinder to himself.
Just out of Curiosity, he wonders if he can draw Wheeler from memory. So,he chooses and empty corner of his Journal and starts drawing him, he wasnt the best artist to ever Grace the earth but he could try.
"And in years to come, you’ll wander
To the place up on our hill
And then you’ll cry to our painted sky
"I loved him then, I love him still"
And you’ll strew some sage and lilies
And roses where I rot
Of all the flowers you picked
I knew you would forget forget-me-nots"
The end result is nothing fancy,but he likes it. Theres some details he got wrong like the shape of the eyebrows or the aging marks in his face,but its something.
Shit,when was the last time he visited Wheeler's grave?. Maybe after all this he should go and leave some flowers,tell him about his life, of what hes been going through. He was sure that even in death,Wheeler would gladly listen to him and his problems,Like he always did.
Lucas waits out the storm cleaning his guns and marking alternative routes to get to milton-haven
When the rain calms down a little,he packs his things and goes to finish up his checklist(after grabbing a lunch)
He gets the gas refilled, and does a little maintenance on the other equipment hes got laying around, but soon as hes about to check out to Keep driving, the rain gets worse and worse. So hes ought to stay the night.
Lucas ends up eating some MRES and cheap beer for dinner. Then he lays down in bed with one of the vamos lamps on, he drums his fingers on his chest as he tries to fall asleep.
A few hours go by of incessant tossing and turning,he doesnt know if it is because of paranoia or the Fear that he'd have nightmares again.
He takes a deep breath, getting comfortable on his matress and trying to remember what sleeping in the troops barracks felt like. He tries to imagine the dark room, the light snoring of some of his teammates, the heavy footsteps of the patrolling soldiers,the pungent smell, the suspecious creaking from one of the beds in the room,the scratchyness of the covers...
It all feels so Real to the point that hes not sure if hes awake,asleep or both. But with the image clear In his head, he murmurs.
--Hey cap, cant sleep
--Whats on your mind,kid?-- comes a voice that feels like its infront of him.
--'m just paranoid-- Lucas replied,sounding exhausted-- been stuck in here all day, its been messin' with me
--I think you owe it to yerself t'have a day off.
--Thats the thing though- I need to get to Milton-Haven. I cant waste any time
--But cars can run on an empty fuel tank. Theres nothing bad in taking time to rest
--Yeah but what if I get there and theres nothing because I took too long
--cmon now kid, theres a big fat chance its going to be there when ya get there- whats gonna make 'em Scatter to the Winds in some small town?
--Guess yer right-- he replied,turning to his side.
--cmon now,go to bed. Y'gotta wake up early n 'm sure our superiors gonna come in any second to check we're asleep n unless ya wanna do push Ups at 2 a.m. id reccomend you get some shut eye
Lucas chuckled and nodded,only to go silent afterwards for a few minutes before quietly adding-- miss you,by the way-- in a weak,broken voice.
And he swears he can feel the bed dip as if someone sat beside him. He can feel a weight on his head,calming,reassuring,as if someone was ruffling his hair.
--Miss you too kid
Then,silence. Just as hes falling asleep he swears he can hear Alphonso go "im here with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"
Next morning, he recalls last night feeling like it felt too Real,he could hear the voice of Wheeler perfectly as if he was right there in the room. Its suspiciously accurate.
But then again,doesnt he have a vivid imagination?
#in sound mind#ism#ism lucas#in sound mind lucas#in sound mind lucas cole#lucas cole#ism lucas cole#ism the flash
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hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.
while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all
i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.
I'm not dead!
I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay
What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself
I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after
I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not
But I know you do
Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u
I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you
The patch is really nice, thank you
I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk
I love you too man
I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
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its a weekend and usualy i might stay up later but i got so little sleep last night im just going to bed now.
things were both better and worse today
started out awful
but now im at my usual levels of meh so thats an improvement
ive recently been feeling bad over my ex which is. well its not that new but like its a lot of emotions ive been trying to ignore for a while that are now bubbling up to the surface (i made a few rant posts to try to get them off my chest though)
been lonely and lazy as ever but hey what can you do
although my parents are gone tomorow and i dont have to see them for the next 2 weeks! (though im going to be staying with my aunt and grandparents who. arent much better.)
anyways
im gonna get some sleep
you should get some sleep
hope you have a good day tomorow
stay awesome
Yas sleep my queen.
Well at least it evened out? The optimism in me is trying I swear. *logician takes the stage as per usual* if every day is just a tiny bit better than the last then eventually youll have a nice day or even a good day, that's just math. There will be bad days or bad moments but those don't have to control your entire day. Like when my parents called me fat and unattractive (the words were a little more flowery but still) or when they invalidated my gender presentation and sexuality (thank the gods I'm not out to them yet) There were some good parts of that day too! Like when they said 'the chemicals in the water turn the frogs gay' and 'vaccines cause autism' AND 'the estrogen in processed food is making men gay and feminine??' I had to try so hard not to burst out laughing. And I read a really good fanfic later that day.
Ughhh feelings over Exes suck. Try pinpointing the things you miss about them. For me it was a lot of the physical touch and the reassuring words and the times they would let me rant to them. Then you try to find outlets for those things, I asked my friends if they were okay for hugs and more physical touch, I asked if it was okay go rant to them if they got to rant back, I gave them reassuring words and then so did they. I'm glad that rant posts help you a lot too.
Yass engage in the sin of sloth with me my queen. Its great here.
YOOO THATS GREAT. As for the grandparents and aunts thing uh are they the type to just leave you be more often than not. That's how mine are but idk.
Day isn't gonna be too great. My family is forcing me to go swimming with them while I am sick (I have a really bad cough still but other than that I'm almost better yay) and also on my period (I get really bad cramps, like I can barely walk without pain meds kind) because 'fresh air will make you better!' (It usually makes it worse for me actually). But at least its usually only for three or so hours so not too too bad.
You stay royal your majesty.
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