#you're so right almost being murdered is much more interesting than murdered especially in this context
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I find attempted murder plots a lot more fun than actual murder plots unless said murder is the inciting incident for a mystery, honestly. Someone almost getting Murderized and then having to continually evade the person/make sure it doesn’t happen again/generally deal with the consequences of that are always fun
How does one just come back from almost getting murdered by someone who was once your friend? What do you even do at that point when you’re an animatronic who can’t even leave the building?
In the scenario proposed in previous ask, I don’t think Freddy would’ve expected to re-activate, and he’s probably not so dense as to be clueless on Why they tried to kill him.
I can imagine him like giving back the parts and apologizing once everyone’s back to themselves, but he might’ve thought that his friends were permanently Lost by the time he was accepting the parts/put together where the parts were coming from, especially if they’re going so much against their programming to try and hunt down and kill a child.
(Clarity: Not trying to say you’re writing him wrong or anything, just chiming in with how I see him)
(In reference to this ask and since this is might be something you wanna see @jellycreamjammedart)
Doesn't that make it worse? If he thought they were permanently gone, so much so they would try to kill a child, doesn't that make it worse that none of them could kill him? He looked at them and said they're beyond saving, he thought they would kill this kid no matter what in that state, and when given the chance, the shining moment when they could do the things accused of them, they couldn't do it.
The thing is, does he even know they're virus'd? Does he even know they're gonna kill Gregory? I think with some of their actions, it could be guessed they'd probably hurt him but why would he believe they'd kill? Does he trust them so little he'd jump to that conclusion once they start acting weird?
But this assumption that they'd kill Gregory... isn't it worse if he just assumed they're beyond saving? Yet for some reason, they can apparently save Vanessa? For some reason, he's totally fine? For some reason the only solution is to destroy them? Doesn't it make they fact they couldn't do it to him worse because he'd assumed they could? For assuming all of that and not considering they could be saved, surely if he understands his mistake it just makes everything worse?
Because if you think about it, if he was okay with them being destroyed... what makes him better than what he assumed of them? They couldn't kill him, and yet he was fine with the others possibly being killed. He helped them be destroyed, never sought an alternative solution that could have helped them and assumed they were long gone and beyond saving. Yet, even at their lowest points, even after they have more than enough reason and even after they had Freddy's life completely in their hands like he had theirs, they couldn't do it. They backed out. Or someone stopped them.
Isn't that worse? That they made the decisions they needed him to make? Someone stopped them, like he should have stopped Gregory or someone didn't have the heart to let him die, when he had the heart to let them be destroyed. I can't help but feel that's worse.
#pop rox answers#and yeah buddy I know you're not saying I'm writing him wrong or something#this is all purely discussion!#I don't think he deserves to die or that anyone would kill him but a few might come close maybe#you're so right almost being murdered is much more interesting than murdered especially in this context#fun fact! cause they're animatronics they're a lot harder to kill!#so you could deactivate them in your attempted murder sure#but if you don't destroy those chips? if you don't destroy their memory and their self?#what's stopping them from being reactivated again? what's stopping them from being found? what's stopping them from coming back?#with full knowledge of what you tried to do to them?#very hard to get away with the murder of an animatronic! especially if you're an animatronic and don't know where the chips are stored!#or you didn't know your hardwired programming would physically prevent you from finishing them!#and now the only way to keep them deactivated is to hide them without a trace!#but there's ALWAYS a chance they're gonna be found. there's always a chance the dead will start talking.#your programming has the same limits as everyone else. they can go everywhere you can go.#you may never rest easy again knowing it's only a matter of time...#I guess unless you're Roxy with the high security clearance but she couldn't do it anyway#the doggo has seen too much death to ever cause it herself...#intentionally anyway.#might be really fucking tempted though#anyway!!! yeah!!! that's that!!!#fun!!!#murder is such an interesting topic cause how much would it take to push them to do it? how far can they go without backing out?#how does an animatronic commit an impossible murder?#fun stuff!!
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TW: obsessive behavior, talk about self harm, death, gore, blood, corpses, choking, talk about you being dead, bleeding, bro there's so much - MDNI
SUMMARY: A twisted boy with a twisted mind and a twisted love just for you ♡
CHARACTERS: Yandere x F!Reader
WORD COUNT: 841
𓉸ྀི Never EVER was Blake expecting to fall in love. At first sight too. He saw you and was instantly captured. My condolences, because with him in your life...it'll be turned upside down
𓉸ྀི You're his newest, recent hyperfixation, or better, obsession. Recent? Well, since he ever saw and read this short story in the internet, about death, killing, blood and guts, he was forever obsessed with it. Especially the graphic pictures that we're added for the "realism'. You see, one click on a link and a wrong turn can lead you down a dark alley filled with the darkest mysteries hold by internet. Hidden from those who would never dare step that far into an alley like this. Bit inviting and interesting to those curious enough to take a look...and forever be captivated.
𓉸ྀི with 12 year's old, exactly that happened. This weird 'dare' and a link went around school and of course 12 year olds are gonna jump on it like hungry wolves. His friend send him the link, he was dared to open it and take a look, but was to scared. So he send Blake the link also, so they can both take a look. Shared fear is only half the fear, right?
𓉸ྀི While his friend was throwinh up beside his bed, he kept scrolling. And scrolling...and scrolling. Weird...this doesn't affect him, at least not like his friend. Or how he thought it would. Everyone kept saying its gross, creepy and...twisted. Its odd that he, likes it.
𓉸ྀི His friend claimed he suddenly felt sick, so his mother picked him up. None of them wanted to raise suspicion of course...But the whole night long, Blake kept looking at the pictures over and over again, he read the story multiple times. He probably still knows it all word for word till this day. But what really captured his interest was that woman, how she looked in her own blood bath. Her guts hanging out, everywhere but inside her. Is this real? No it can't be right? No one would ever...
𓉸ྀི when he saw you, he saw that woman. You both look so similar. Maybe the eye color is a bit off, yours are a tiny bit darker but thats ok, you look just like her! Damn, even the hair!...he can't help but wonder if you would...no that's an unhealthy thought
𓉸ྀི he's 18 now, and for 5 years he was in the dark web looking for stories, pictures and videos like this to feed his constant hunger and need for more blood and gore. But he still knows, murder is wrong. But knowing is something else than doing. They both can go hand in hand, the only thing that's holding them both away from each other is the wall called self control.
𓉸ྀི He does have this wall, it just has multiple holes in it. Blake was no stranger to act on his impulsive thoughts. He cuts his arms sometimes when he wants to feel the pain or see the blood. He even tried the 'save way of cutting your wrist', the thrill of almost dying did send him over the edge....The research did help of course. He even tried choking himself, but that does not really do much for him unfortunately, there's nothing hot to it besides the bruises he left on his neck.
𓉸ྀི But right now the wall he trained to stand against the army of his running thoughts is about to crumble by just looking at you. You'd look so great in red, a deep dark red surrounding you...oozing out of y-no-! This is wrong-! He knows you're so so much more than a body, than a corpse. You have personality...damn you really look like you have a great personality.
𓉸ྀི...w-wait-you looked his way-! WHY ARE YOU SMILING AT HIM-! Was he looking at you this entire time?? Ugh, hes such a creep-! Yes, he knows he's one but he doesn't have to act like one to make it obvious- He's so weird, he doesn't deserve you, he would NEVER deserve you. The only thing that deserves him would be the maggots and the mould, eating his decomposed cadaver.
𓉸ྀི If it's not him, than it's definitely your smile that killed him right there and now, on spot. He's disgusting why are you looking like him. Why do you show interest. Why is he smiling back. And why does he really feel the need to hold you in his arms, and kiss you. A kiss that would probably be the beginning of cannibalism. Drag his mouth and theeth across your chest to taste your beating heart...if he thinks like this then living can be beautiful, and so are living things. I mean...you are most definitely beautiful. And you're alive.
𓉸ྀི But you'd be just as pretty dead, rotting and overcome with mould, having flys around you while your body drys out and sinks....but yeah you're maybe even a tiny bit more beautiful alive. (Much more but he can't say it just yet)
TAGLIST: @lucienbarkbark @hehothrowawayfae
#yandere x you#yandere male#male yandere#yandere x reader#yandere#oc x reader#oc#Blake x reader#x female reader#x fem!reader#yandere x female reader
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Morrigan: A Rough summary
I sent this to a moot and decided I'd share a break down of the the Morrigan Lore TM
Right so, firstly, like Silas and Finn, Morrigan is a cookie cutter shark. Though Silas is an abyssal cookie cutter shark, and he's just a coastal one. He and his family are like Azul and the tweels, they're more animalistic, they're not the pretty, humanlike Ariel-like mermaid that many come to think of when they hear the term "mermaid" or "merfolk"
Now, my interpretation of twst (mostly through Azul's story) is that human culture and beauty standards heavily influenced merfolk and their culture, eventually resulting in features like webbed hands, sharp teeth and claws, and other animalistic features being deemed as barbaric and undesirable.
The general idea of mers like Finn, Azul, etc, is that they are stupid, wild, dangerous/murderous, and more creatures than people. This stereotype especially extends to abyssal mers like Silas (it's part of why some merfolk flat out refuse to by from him)
Now, in twst it's pretty clear that magic dictates your standing in society, and often those with powerful magic are "higher" up the social ladder. This too applies to merfolk, and when you're monstrous creatures like Morrigan and his family, the best you can hope for is major success and glory.
Morrigan has several siblings, and out of all of them he was the oldest and the one with the most powerful magic. His parents realised they basically had a child prodigy on their hands, and this led to him basically being in a Riddle-type situation.
He was their trophy, their showpony, far outshining his siblings and essentially "overcoming" the monstrous-ness that everyone hates with his skill in magic. Don't think he liked the attention, though, his parents' praise was very conditional and he didn't exactly get himself in their favour when trying to protect his siblings from them. Despite his efforts, his siblings are still incredibly jealous of him and kinda don't like him :(
Now with this upbringing, naturally he has an intense strive to be the absolute best of the best. Master every spell, win every duel, ace every test. Like Riddle, he has a LOT of anger due to his treatment and situation, but unlike Riddle this anger caused him to frequently get into violent fights with his schoolmates and come home bruised and bloodied.
At NRC, this got worse. At first he was well behaved like Azul or Riddle would be, but eventually he realised he no longer had his parents breathing down his neck.... and just kinda went batshit.
Now, he's wasn't a complete asshole constantly all the time. In fact many found him charming, handsome, too. However he was a bit of a bully and easily angered, and when he got angry enough he got extremely violent. He beat the ever loving shit out of his own dorm leader, and part of the reason he was almost expelled was because when fighting with some guy, he tried to bite their throat (reminder his teeth are like the tweels...)
In his third/fourth year tho, he was kinda like "Well shit I don't think this is good for me" and started working on being better.
When he began looking for internships, he wasn't sure what to do. His parents just wanted him to do "something important", they didn't care all that much as long as it brought in a lot of money and recognition and didn't make them look bad.
Everyone told him he should be a magishift player, police, etc, etc, but he wasn't interested in any of that.
However, through some self assessment he realised he did work well with kids and they always liked him, and he was food at teaching/helping his friends study, so he thought "Hey, why not teaching?"
He ended up teaching at a magic school for gifted merfolk, and the reason is because all of them are "gifted kids," and he didn't want them to suffer and struggle like he did. That is a very important job. His parents were not impressed, but it could be worse and he was stubborn, so they "allowed it" (even though he's an adult wtufjasgj)
As he got older, he developed better control over his temper, but he would still get violent if REALLY mad.
And then he met Silas, and they do try to kill each other upon first meeting :P. They fall in love, get married, and have kids, but Morrigan is murdered before they- (well, just Finn) are born.
Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle
@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker
@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @inotonline
@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy
@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch
@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts @the-banana-0verlord @cloudcountry
@skriblee-ksk @twstinginthewind @lumdays @theolivetree123 @jewelulu
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𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝 Part 5: Dumb & Dumber
In which communication isn't always the easiest thing- especially when you're talking past each other, never to each other.
Tags/Warnings: mc hates kook?, kook hates her too Angst?, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication bro its so bad in this, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, sexual thoughts, the tension is snapping oops
Length: ~2.3k.
-> Masterlist
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Over the past few days, Jungkook seems.. awfully clingy.
He's texting more, keeps inviting you over, seemingly very interested in spending more and more time with you. And while yeah, it would make sense if it was to please the public eye- they don't even get to see it. At all.
He's been asked for comment left and right at this point ever since he really did drop the news of being in a relationship. However, it did have the desired effect of the media attention slowly dying down, other investors especially seeming to value him more now that he's 'settled down' which is just incredibly weird to you. Why does him getting his dick wet have anything to do with his decision-making? It's not like post-nut-clarity is going to give him the perfect stock advice or anything. Or maybe it does. Who knows.
He certainly doesn't- at least not with you.
It still confuses you however how well he seemingly plays the boyfriend-role; going all out, even taking you to a dinner yesterday, even if it was interrupted twice by a phone call he didn't even take in the end. It was nice to be taken out like that though- you've never really been out like that, all dressed up and fancy. But it's sadly also making you more than angry.
It's infuriating how he seems to be aware of what exactly it is you crave from a guy, and in this moment, you hate that it's him providing it. To him, it's a game. To you, it's just cruel. It hurts. "Now come on, don't be a brat for once." He teases. "You're my girl now after all, aren't you?" He teases almost, holding the spoon with the dark brown liquid close to your lips.
As if.
You're staring him down like you're ready to commit murder right on the spot, no felony too cruel in your brain as you try and come up with ways to escape the situation. You're stronger than this. He can't make you do anything. "Come on now, stop being such a baby and open up." He tries again, but you refuse, lips not opening at all- truly not bending to his words at all. He's running out of options really. "I'll drive you to hospital in the next fucking minute if you don't fucking lick that spoon clean in the next three seconds." He threatens now, his last effort at trying to get through your thick skull.
He's trying everything he can here, really. From the strong look he sends your way, to the authority in his voice he's using to try and sway your mind. He knows you're stubborn. You've always been- and the challenge you give him has always been more than exciting.
But right now, it's not just a challenge. It's actually serious.
Much to his surprise (and noted for.. future endeavors that don't involve trying to medicate you), you visibly loose all that confidence in going against what he's telling you to do- now staring at the spoon more or less as if you're battling yourself internally, entire posture changing from confidence to something akin to a wounded animal.
"One." He starts, well aware of his chance to strike now, and you whine openly, face morphing into one of terror as you lean back away from both the spoon and him, though you don't leave the couch at all. In a way, usually, he'd instantly use this opportunity to tease the living shit out of you- but he can't. Not when he's actually trying to actively convince you to do something important for him- and yourself. "Two.." He continues to count, voice a bit lower now to appear less threatening. "Come on, I promise I'll leave you alone after this." He tells you more softly now, and you close your eyes for a second- before you reach to hold his wrist, bitter medicine finally being swallowed as you curl in on yourself on the other end of the sofa, unable to see Jungkook finally relax.
He knows you hate hospitals. But you're sick- not infectious, according to the doctor you went to yesterday, but still sick nonetheless. You just can't keep any food down, so he had to do something about it- unable to watch you suffer any longer than you already have been. And while, yeah, he does admit that the medicine tastes absolutely horrible- it works perfect for him, so he's hoping that you'll be able to at least get some soup down in the next few hours or so.
He's trying to take care of you.
"There we go, thank you." He offers after putting the spoon onto his coffee table, before reaching out to run his hand over your back. "You wanna sleep now?" He asks, and you just shrug, something he takes as a somewhat-yes, so he stands up to get you a blanket from his bedroom, searching for one that's a little heavier so you'll maybe feel a bit better while he cooks and leaves you be. When he returns, you're still the exact same he's left you- and he sighs, dimming the light of his apartment before he walks closer to you, tucking the blanket around you.
"Jungkook.." You ask quietly, unsure, because you don't really know what you want to ask him in the first place. Why are you doing this? Why are you suddenly being so nice? Why do you treat me like I'm actually someone you care about?
"Hm?" He wonders, a gentle urge to hear your question, even leaning in to hear you better.
"Nothing." You say instead, simply turning around to face the backrest of the couch, successfully hiding from him in his own apartment. You've always been good at hiding, after all. From your family, from your problems- and now, from him.
Though you're not sure who he is to you, especially right now.
And you don't know if the fact that he doesn't press for an answer should make you feel glad- or disappointed.
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Jungkook used to really fucking hate everything about you.
That changed, as soon as he got into a relationship with you. Because now, he only fucking hates that you don't ever take him seriously- so, progress. Somewhat.
He doesn't want to push for intimacy- hell, he would even say he doesn't need it if he knew you weren't comfortable with those things. But he knows you're more than okay with it, you're actively flirting with everyone around you constantly, especially Jimin of all fucking people. And it pisses him off to no ends, considering you should have eyes for him, and not his best friend who's been fucking around for years at this point. That dick can't satisfy you the way he could.
It's insulting to think of you in any sexual context with Jimin, or anyone else for that matter.
And right now, especially right now, you're truly testing his patience by actively ranting about your 'lack' of intimacy in the present times to him, in his own fucking apartment of all things. As if he's not even in the room. And granted, he's had enough.
"Why do you continue to ignore me sitting right in front of you?" He asks, eyes focused on you as he tilts his head, almost challenging. "You want me, I want you, facts." He shrugs, relaxing into his seat again. "I'm right here." He gestures to himself. "So what's the issue?"
"The issue, Jungkook-" You start, rolling your eyes at him as you make sure to focus on his name in that sentence, "-is that, you know..!" you say, struggling to find words. You actually don't know what the issue is. What is the issue?
"No, I don't know. And that's the fucking problem here." He says back, not as loud as you're talking, but with equally as much bite to his tone. "Am I not attractive to you?" He asks, leaning towards you a little.
Of course he's attractive to you. Why wouldn't he be? Anyone would be stupid not to look at him and realize that he's a pretty handsome guy. "No, that's-" You start, but he won't let you continue.
"Do you think I don't find you attractive?" He asks instead now, and you stammer, unsure of your reply. You don't know if he actually finds you attractive. If he asks that question, does that mean he actually thinks you're pretty? Or are you reading too much into things right now-
"I mean, maybe? What-" You try again, but he cuts you off once more.
"Then what's the problem?" He asks, and that's where you start to yell to get him to listen, in a way. You've always been like that- though it's the first time you're exploding into his face like this.
"You!" You bark out, sighing as you run a hand through your hair. "We're- You know I can't have sex with someone I'm not.. you know, in a relationship with, because I want to have this whole stupid love-thing instead of just screwing someone for the pleasure. I'm not like you Jungkook, I want, you know-" You start pacing now, "-I want romance, and all that useless stuff-" you ramble on, while he chuckles to himself, shaking his head.
"You're so fucking dumb, you know that?" He suddenly says, and you stop right where you're standing, watching as he gets up as well, walking towards you. He's actively backing you up against his kitchen counter now, until you hit the edge, unable to go any further. "What're you talking about?" He shakes his head.
"I said what I said." You mumble, offended by his earlier comment, making him move his hands from his pockets to your cheeks, before he kisses you for the very first time.
Completely out of the blue, for no reason whatsoever. And the worst fucking thing about is, is that you actually like it- that you like the way he kisses you, no instant fuckboy-techniques or anything, just a simple, slow and gentle kiss.
"When I asked you out, in my office." He starts, before he interrupts himself by laughing at your wide eyes, truly visualizing the deer-in-the-headlights kind of look. "I didn't ask you out just for publicity's sake." He chuckles. "But I also couldn't explain anything further because you simply left- which is what you constantly do, by the way." He scolds carefully, still not leaving your close proximity. "You never let me explain things. You always just stay until you hear something you don't like- and then you run with it."
"Wait- so-" You stammer, still a little caught off guard by his actions. "-wait we've been in a relationship for like.. two weeks now-"
"Three and a half, but go on." He teases, still smiling, while you're realizing what's been going on the entire time.
"-And I didn't fucking know?!" You bark, actually astonished at how you didn't connect the dots sooner.
The time he spent with you. The dates he organized. The constant texting, the constant calls, the way he grew soft with you, how he would call you 'baby' or 'darling' for no reason, how he would take care of you, ask how you were doing, all of those things. He didn't do them out of nowhere. He did them because he was dating you.
And you didn't even realize. Or maybe you didn't want to?
"Dumb." He says, flicking your forehead and making you whine from the sting, holding the spot. "Really dumb." He shakes his head. "Let's do it again then."
"Huh?" You wonder, watching how he backs up a little, giving you space. And it makes you a little disappointed. Fuck that.
"I like you. A lot, actually." He offers, hands back in his pockets as he watches you. You nod dumbly at that, watching his every move, making him laugh a bit awkwardly. "Listen, you got to help me out here a little. Usually you'd say something like 'oh me too' in a situation like this." He jokes, imitating your higher pitched voice, and at that, realization truly hits.
Did you ever really hated him?
Or did you just hate what he represented?
That unattainable, unreachable person you know you could love. A person so nice and admirable in your opinion that it makes you sick to your stomach, because you'll have to watch that person move on and be loved by someone that's not you one day. And while you always wished him happiness, you also wished for yourself to be that happiness even more- well aware, that it probably wouldn't ever be the case. You'd been selfishly pushing your anger onto him for no reason these past years, wasting time you could've definitely spent better, by just being an adult and maybe simply talking to him.
You've been so mean to him, for no reason other than your own personal bitterness.
You've been hating him for no better reason than to have someone to blame, someone to hate other than yourself.
"Hey- it's fine if you don't like me like that, no need to cry." He says, moving closer again- but you beat him to it, arms wrapping around his middle as you hide your face in his chest, full on slamming into him.
"I like you." You mumble into his shirt, quietly, but he hears it nonetheless. "I really like you." You repeat, and he just holds you like that for a while, hand running up and down your back.
"Crybaby." He teases.
"Shut up." You respond.
Some things never change.
And that's fine.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#hatred au
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Star Excerpt
I've been going back and forth on posting this for a while, but here it is! Feat: Tristan being depressed, Ori being a little off-putting. This is the VERY beginning of star, the opening words. Comment if you want me to post more anytime/if you liked it!
TWs- internalized transphobia (not incredibly overt), discussion of SI, discussion of death, discussion and minor representation of visual hallucinations.
I wrote this when I was dealing with REALLY severe depression and it hasn't been seriously edited since, so I can't vouch for it being great. Hope you enjoy it!
Tristan
It's getting cold faster than usual this year.
It feels like just yesterday that the first couple of leaves fell from the maples, but now I'm walking over ground that cracks and snaps with frost, and my breath hangs in the air like fog.
With hope, the coming winter will pass just as quickly as fall has been, collapsing in on itself in what remains of my mind. Realistically, I'll probably die before that can happen. The main question now is whether I'll die from the sickness, starvation, hypothermia, murder, or the other option. Guessing which one is going to finally take me out is the only thing left in my life that I could call entertaining, in a twisted, fucked up way. There's also a chance I eat the wrong plant and die from poisoning, but I'd argue that that falls under the last option, especially as I've practically memorized the plants in the northwest. It's been my only pastime for the past year and a half, if you don't count vivid fantasies of my own impending death.
You're never really aware of all the interesting ways one can die until you are, aren't you?
As it is, I've decided that my most likely fate will be turning back on my trail, finding the people who I've been running from with less and less conviction for the past eight months, and letting myself be ripped to pieces in whatever horrifying fashion they desire. It wouldn't be much worse than what's going on in my head already, I'd guess. And they'd be right in whatever gruesome thing they have planned for me. It's not like I haven't been asking for this since I ran.
I'm not exactly sure where I'm going, other than a vague idea of 'east'. If I even have the direction right. For all I know, I've been going in circles for months. I can see the mountains in the distance, though, so I can't be too far off. I know the silhouette of the rockies.
My half-formed plan when I first fled was to get to the rockies and find refuge in a cave, gathering food like a bear in the fall, and then count on my pursuers not being able to survive in the mountains. I'm not sure why I had thought that a half-dead, psychotic fifteen year old with identity confusion would survive out there any better than they would, but it's the only plan I have, and without a plan, I don't really have much to do other than sit down and die.
Honestly, that option has been sounding pretty nice lately.
Still, I'm nothing if not a creature of inertia. Every step, every breath, every heartbeat, only exists because I've lost the energy to do anything other than stay the same. What is in motion stays in motion, even as the friction of my brain tears at me to just stop.
I'm not sure why I don't.
The sun is bleeding up from the horizon, lighting the clouds near it a pinkish golden color, bringing color to a gray sky. The mountains are saturated with dark, vivid blue shadows and patches of gleaming white snow that hurts to look at.
The light burns my eyes, and I refocus my gaze on the ground in front of me where brown and orange leaves are encased in frost, crunching under my footsteps. With the frost, I'll be leaving pretty clear footsteps until the sun fully rises, but I can't bring myself to care. A brutal, ritualistic death, no matter how gory and painful, seems no worse than the other option.
I try to avoid thinking about the future. Whenever I do, the pull to just stop gets almost overwhelming, and the panic that causes makes everything around it worse. The stability of my mind is nothing but a coin flip, and when it's landed on heads, I try to do all I can to avoid flipping it again.
Still, the future isn't the most avoidable thing.
As I watch my worn-out shoes leave a trail in the frost and leaves, my thoughts can't help but drift towards one of my many taboo subjects.
What happens next is perhaps the scariest question I can pose to myself, mostly because I don't actually know the answer.
I can feel my pulse lift and the fog of my mind start to thicken and creep towards the lucidity I've held for almost a week now, if you ignore the flashes of blood and corpses that don't exist hanging from trees in the edges of my vision. My hands clench and unclench, fingers racing along my palms, ruined nails scratching at my rough skin.
It's not proper for a girl to have such un-ladylike hands.
It's not proper for a girl to cut her hair and hide in the woods on her own, either, is it?
Perhaps the question of what's proper for a girl isn't the most important thing right now.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my burning mind. This part of the forest doesn't have as much undergrowth as usual- notably, it's missing the rampant salal and huckleberries that I've been seeing around here, along with the old growth trees and logs that scaffold the way for smaller plants. I'd guess that it was clear-cut before the disaster, and is maybe five years out from it.
I wonder if the forest knows that it's safe now, that the power tools are dead and the constant consumerist demand has died with most of the world's population. I wonder if its trauma will live on in its occupants, teaching its deer to flee at any movement and its flowers to hide in the deepest, thickest tangles of plants. I wonder if it knows that the world has changed. Maybe it can feel that the human feet that used to trample it have lessened, and maybe it feeds on the corpses and can taste their disease and fear. Perhaps it remains unaware, always living in fear of the next hunting season or the return of the lumber companies and hikers who tear up the native plants and bring with them grasses and Himalayan blackberries. Perhaps it can see me walking through its trees and it wonders what a child so clearly unfit for this life is doing. Perhaps it waits for me to give up and die, so it can welcome me to its soil and bring me home. Perhaps it sees me as only another of the ones that have torn it from its roots and killed its children and brothers, and it only feels distrust and hatred. Perhaps it still wishes I would give up and die, but only so my threatening existence ends.
Perhaps it's just wood and leaves, and I've truly lost what's left of my mind.
I wonder what it thinks of me, if it looks beyond my humanness and sees that the blood running through my veins is the same as what pulses in its children, a cousin of the golden sap that bleeds from its bark. I wonder who it sees.
A girl with rough hands and a shattered mind, maybe. Or a boy who's met death and come back, rather unwillingly. Maybe it only sees a scared child running blindly, or an animal that sacrificed its humanity to keep its straining, breaking heart beating in its chest. Maybe something else entirely, something that's fading away from the inside out and barely even still going.
I wonder who I would see, if I was brave enough to look.
Orion
I go over the bear trap one last time, making sure that it's not being blocked by anything. It's on its last legs, rusty and creaky. It's not a pretty beast, but it does the job, even if the job might give me tetanus one day. I don't really have another option right now, so I choose to remain positive. I have it set on a rough game trail, with the jaws and trigger covered in vines and leaves. I've got a camp set up in a small cave by a cliff less than a mile from the trap, so I can check it every evening, along with the rope ones that I have on other trails. With luck, I'll get something in a couple days, hopefully big enough to last me through the winter. I dream of the day when I get a moose in my traps.
Once I get a catch, I can dry the meat for the winter, and then next spring I'll keep going east and get over the mountains. The east of the mountains is more habitable than the west, so I'll keep looking for a town of survivors there.
I know that there are people out there, and I know that those people have probably grouped up and started rebuilding societies. It'll take a bit to convince them that I'm not sick, and that I'm not there to steal their resources, but I know I can do it. People like me. I like to think that I've held on to most of my charm through what I can only really describe as the apocalypse. Maybe I'll start a family, if I meet someone there who's sweet and pretty, someone who thinks I am too. Maybe we can find a stray dog and live a small, nice life. I just need to take it step by step, and the next step is finding food.
I've always wished that I knew a bit more about plants, especially since the sickness hit and I've been doing this all on my own. I know the basics- thimbleberries, chanterelles, cedar- but not much more than that. I think it'd be helpful to be one of those people who can dig food from the ground during winter. I'm dealing, though. Perhaps a diet consisting mainly of meat isn't the healthiest thing, but I'd say that I'm actually doing pretty well, given the whole apocalypse situation.
The cliff that I've made my temporary home in is only maybe ten or fifteen feet tall, on the base of a relatively steep hill. The cave's entrance is much shorter than me, but if I crouch, I can get in and into the more sizable inner part, where I still can't really stand up. I have coils of rope shoved into a corner, and I toss my beat-up backpack on top of them before sitting on my equally used sleeping bag. It's developed rips and holes that make it not much more useful than a warm blanket, but a warm blanket is still something.
I've adopted a crepuscular lifestyle more recently, altering my waking time to match that of the wildlife. I set my traps early in the morning and check them long after the sun sets. It took me a bit, but I get around five hours of sleep every time I try, amounting to maybe ten every day. I spend the rest of my time either maintaining my body or fantasizing about the town I'll find in eastern Washington. It's not the most exciting life, but it's nice to have some routine in a world like this.
I don't feel very tired yet, so I pull over my backpack and dump its contents on the base of the cave, searching through them. My two extra knives are tied together with a worn out length of twine, along with my flint in its' case, and my bunched-up, too-large raincoat unfolds on the ground, along with a medley of other things, but it only takes me a few moments to find what I was looking for.
When I was a kid, I got three journals for one of my birthdays. I wrote through one of them before the virus hit, and the second one was finished frantically in the first few months. Those two will be burnt to ashes when I have the time, kindling soaked with things that aren't worth remembering. The one I've been using for the past year or so is about halfway through, with my ideas and feelings journaled about once a week. Most of it is plans, maps, paths over the mountains, dotted with records of where I set traps. I'm no artist, but I've sketched out ideas of what a surviving society might look like. Abstract maps are my strength.
I flip to a new page and pull my pencil out of the inner pocket on my backpack, and begin writing.
When I wake in the evening, my head rests uncomfortably on my open journal, with a messy, half finished list of the steps I'll need to take to get over the rockies. My spine aches from being curled up like a dead shrimp for hours, and when I stretch it cracks more than I think should be healthy. It's colder than it was in the morning, but I push myself to get up and shove my stuff back into my bag.
The sky is gray outside, and the air is that sort of sharp cold that hurts a bit to breathe. Every inhale reminds me that winter is soon, and that I'll be over the rockies by this time next year. Maybe I'll even have found my survivors by then, and I'll have my little life set up. I'm sure any little budding village would be happy to have a young member with trapping knowledge, someone who can contribute and still has his whole life ahead of him.
The trail I've set my traps on takes about two hours to fully complete, and a bit more with my care to avoid my own traps. I've made that mistake once, and I never plan to make it again.
The bear trap is surprisingly well hidden for a metal jaw in the leaves- its rust blends in with the leaves scattered over it, and if I wasn't aware of its existence and studying every step I take, there's a good chance I'd lose a leg to it. I feel a twinge of apology for whatever poor thing gets caught in my trap, but we all need to eat. Anyways, it's probably no more violent than any of the other ways a thing could die out here.
I return to my little cave as the first couple of raindrops start hitting the leaves, and I curl up in my sleeping bag to stay warm as I watch the rain fall.
It's hypnotizing, in a way. The quiet roar is the loudest thing in the woods, and it drowns out any other sound. Within half an hour, the rain has turned from a gentle patter to a downpour, turning the world gray outside of the cave. The cave has a helpful slant that keeps the water from running down to where I'm sitting, but the cold still ends up saturating my skin, soaking through me just as quickly as the rain would.
I lie down and turn away from the cave entrance. There's no better time to sleep than during a rainstorm.
☆☆☆
That's chapter one of star! Thanks for reading (:
#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing blog#writerscommunity#🌟star tag🌟#excerpts#my writing#🌟excerpt from star🌟
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[SPOILERS FOR THE ENDINGS OF LIBRARY OF RUINA]
Same asker as the Angela's bad ending one before. Wanted to ask what would happen in Roland's bad ending instead? Assuming X and Ayin don't vanish/die like the Sephirahs and the Library right after Angela gets her head chopped off, they'd now have to deal with a very angry Roland, a destroyed Library, and possibly no more Light to draw on from.
So what would happen in terms of the most likely outcome and in terms of what would be the most interesting outcomes?
Would Roland end up turning his anger on Ayin and kill him immediately too like Angela? Or would he try to make Ayin suffer first since Roland isn't going to be as merciful as he was with Angela whose lashing out he understands?
And what would Roland do with X? Use him as a hostage against Ayin? Use him to help throw Ayin in the Head's jail for having a clone over a week old?
Dear Anonymous,
Yeah, this is the ask I was referring to when I said I had seen one similar to the Bad Ending Roland ask in my inbox.
When it comes to your first question, I think I answered this one already; Roland's motivation would've dwindled so far that doing anything at this point, especially to someone who wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of being in pain and suffering when you're killing him, would seem like too much work for him. While I have no doubt he'd likely try to hurt them, I doubt Roland would be able to stay cognisant enough to actually go through with hurting them since he'd be drunk/drugged out of his mind most of the time after LoR's end. Even if he discovers who Ayin and X are, he likely can't care enough to do anything other than simply throwing his miserable life away.
As for telling the Head about Ayin and X...it depends on how much effort he's willing to do, so it's probably not very likely he'd tell The Head considering the effort it'd take and the possibility of him also becoming a target for one reason or another, but I think that by the point he comes to a conclusion on what to do with them (if he doesn't immediately turn to violence, that is), Ayin and X would've been long, long gone from the City one way or another to avoid being chased by the Head or other authorities who'd hunt them down for violating the clone laws.
When it comes to X, I think Roland would have difficulty distinguishing him from Ayin, to be honest. This isn't the same setting as AiP where there's time to differentiate them from one another and eventually come to a conclusion when it comes to each of them, this is a moment where Roland deciding whether or not to brutally murder the two of them, so I doubt he'd be able to figure out X's importance to Ayin, emotionally speaking, or use his cloned nature against him. At worst, he may figure out Ayin loses some of his reason and almost flies into a fit of blind rage when X is hurt, which he may use to toy with Ayin if he isn't drugged out of his mind all the time.
I hope this suffices as an answer to your question, Anon! Until next time, take care, be well, and see ya'! Thank you for the fun ask!
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Can't stop thinking about Evil Morty but everytime I want to send in an ask my brain stops 😭, do you have any hcs for him?
Oh, I don't blame you. Easily my favorite antagionist in the show. ESPECIALLY IN SEASON 5, OML- That was such an amazing episode!
Aged up as all my fics are!
Yandere! Evil Morty Concept
Pairing: Platonic/Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Kidnapping, Isolation, Manipulation, Guilt tripping, Sadism, Murder, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Breaking of bones mention, Punishment mention, Trauma, Swearing in one line near the end, Forced companionship.
He says that the only thing that makes him evil is that he's fed up with Rick's nonsense.
Although the many murders, manipulation of power, and murder of anyone who disagrees with you beg to differ-
Evil Morty is Sadistic, Manipulative, Clever, Ruthless, Posessive, Obsessive, Forceful, and overall a threat.
He has the apperance of a sweet innocent Morty.
When in reality he's just as smart as a Rick, willing to get rid of anyone in his way to obtain his goals.
He was clever enough to take over The Citadel.
There's no doubt he has enough charisma to win over many.
That does not make him good to be around, however.
He rules over The Citadel with an iron fist and expects everyone to listen to him.
There's no doubt Evil Morty knows of your presence in the multiverse.
There's many different versions of you, however, he's interested in the prime version of you.
The (Y/N).
The original, not some copy.
It's funny, really... in the entirety of his youth he thought he'd get with Jessica.
Turns out that isn't the case... someone like Jessica just isn't for him.
He didn't think he'd fall for anyone until he saw you around the C-137 Rick and Morty pair.
Was it so bad to be... envious of his C-137 counterpart?
It's normal for him to clench his teeth while keeping an eye on you, isn't it...?
It just feels so unfair.
Why does that Morty get to be happy with someone like you?
A good friend... a loyal companion....
He's enraged... jealous and on edge to the point other Mortys and Ricks are subject to his wrath.
"I want you to do me a favor..."
He commands with gritted teeth, the Ricks at his command standing by.
"Bring (Y/N) to me. Make that C-137 pair suffer while you're at it."
This officially begins the hunt.
It doesn't matter if you care for the Morty of your universe as a friend or anything more.
Evil Morty wants that partnership.
For awhile in the start of the obsession, you're running from The Citadel.
You don't know what they want, as you're not a Rick or Morty, but you refuse to find out.
C-137 Rick and Morty try to defend you, but Evil Morty will be clever about this.
One way or another he plans to remove you from them, prying you from their hands and into his.
The moment you let your guard down, it's done.
You struggle against your captors as they drag you through a portal, treating you mostly as a prisoner.
Although... they aren't too rough.
Almost as if they fear someone greater.
You expected the Ricks ushering you to the main building to be scared of another Rick.
After all, The Citadel was normally under Rick rule, right?
Turns out... no.
You're met with shock when a Morty in a suit greets you, small smile on his face while he leans on the large table in the room.
"Was wondering when we'd finally meet, (Y/N)."
He believed you to be the true (Y/N) because you were so much different than the others.
You had the potential to hold a close bond with him... once he encouraged it out of you.
"Wow... you're so much different than my Morty back home-"
He feels his eye twitch... but lets you off easy.
"Don't bring him up in here, please. It's really upsetting to hear you compare me to any old Morty."
"Sorry... sir?"
Evil Morty plays himself off as calm, collected, and welcoming towards you.
He wants you to trust him.
Due to being so good at manipulation, he tries to come off as a very nice man.
He's more mature and confident towards you.
If he messes this up, then it could make the bond between you sour.
Can't have that, can he?
He plans everything out.
You're given a golden room of your own to rest in, implying your stay will be much longer than expected.
You are still scared and resent him for kidnapping you... although he's convinced such feelings will lessen.
"There's no need to be so bitter towards me, (Y/N). I promise to treat you well here. If anyone gives you trouble... let me know."
Just be aware that if you do let him know, they're killed brutally.
Anything to keep you happy with him, y'know?
His sadism doesn't usually show itself directed towards you unless you somehow anger him.
He'd be a yandere for discipline.
If you fought his orders, he'd take sick pleasure in breaking your emotions... perhaps even your bones.
He can fix everything after, but that trauma would serve as a lesson.
He'll only be nice if you are.
"I won't accept you misbehaving here. Better know who you're talking to."
Manipulative... so very manipulative.
He's still a Morty and can easily pull at your emotions.
If you're too harsh with him, he'll start the sad facade.
He'll start sputtering, sobbing about how he's sorry.
He wants to be better for you!
Why are you so mean!?
Then, once you give in, apologizing and reaching out-
He'll strike.
He'll swap back to his usual persona and trick you into willingly accepting your punishment.
You're just too sympathetic towards him because he reminds you so much of your Morty.
"Oh, you're such a fool.... Even now you fall for such an easy trick."
Evil Morty is clever and thinks things through fully.
He thinks of every escape, every attempt at manipulation, and every plan you try to hide.
He hijacks portals, locks down doors, he does everything to prevent your escape.
Until you're loyal to him... he refuses to let you go unmonitored.
Trackers are inserted in electronics and your skin... cameras watch your every move.
Privacy is limited if you truly go against him from the start.
He knows your every move, he knows just how to be one step ahead of you.
All with a cocky smirk and half-lidded confident eyes.
You can't win against him.
"Better luck next time... now back to your room."
He shows compassion to you when you try to comply with him.
He appreciates every conversation and every touch....
Others, however, are nearly always met with his ruthless persona.
Rick, Morty, or anyone else... they're treated the same.
Ruled by a tyrant and killed if they don't obey.
He likes to talk endlessly about his ideals... how he can create a happy universe with you... no Ricks needed.
In fact, Ricks tend to ruin everything.
They're the reason he can't live a normal life.
He is obsessive over keeping you close to him and often jealous.
He hates other Ricks and Mortys around you.
Ricks because he knows they could use you.
Mortys he hates because he doesn't want you to replace him.
He'd kill them before that happens.
"I'm the only Morty for you! I'm so much smarter than a Rick and superior to any other Morty! Don't you DARE replace me!"
It's like a lot of his obsession stems from a fear of not being enough.
He's so much better than any other Morty.
Superior enough to actually do something about the Ricks and not be a little bitch.
So why doesn't he get a happy ending!?
Why does some other Morty get to be happy while he suffers?
Well, not anymore.
He'll make changes around here.
You're going to be by his side...
He'll show you why he's so much better than any Rick and Morty.
"I'm going to find a better life than this... and you'll be with me through it."
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Wow so many updates you're killing it! I loved the latest chapter of cuddle it had so many great moments. Yuuji and Sukuna nesting together was adorable and I loved the scene where he pulled Yuuji into his domain for cuddles. The heat was beautiful go get that comfort Yuuji you deserve it. I also loved so many of the descriptions you used like Yuuji wiggling like a cat to get close to Sukuna. Yuuji thinking about how Sukuna has a relatively simple technique but has mastered it to such a degree that he is far more dangerous than sorcerers with much more complex techniques was really cool. It made me think about how some techniques are only as good as their user. Like how mei mei has a "weak" technique but she figured out how to use if so well that she's a first grade (I don't like her at all I'm just sayin). Or how Yorozu has basically the same technique as Mai but she's so much stronger because she puts so much more effort and thought into it. Or even Kenny who's technique is non combat based on its own he's so dangerous because of how well he plans things out. Sukuna's technique is simple and easy to understand but that just means he's got way more freedom in how he can use it. It's like having a highly specialized tool vs a simple but versatile tool. It's fun to think about. It's a little like how you can do basically anything in Minecraft because it's so simple but you have a lot less freedom in big complicated aa games which are more complex but offer fewer choices because theres a certin path the player is expected to follow. Of course all that freedom is completely useless if you aren't creative enough to make use of it. Not everyone can figure out how to build cathedrals or working calculators in a game. Not everyone could take a technique of cutting and earn the title of the strongest. Hmm went a little long on that bit lol. Anyway love Yuuji still being down to roast Sukuna but wanting to avoid any bigotry when he does. It's perfectly OK to throw shade at the man lord knows he deserves it but we will not I repeat not torment him over stuff he has no control over especially when his poor life choices offer so many other options for ridicule. I am such a sucker for a good cuddle so this chapter has definitely been my favorite so far 💗. I love Sukuna being such a bastard about affection he's figuring this shit out on the fly but he's got to be a bit of a dick about it. He can learn all kinds of stuff from Yuuji AND murder him in the domain apparently.
Hmm, as for suggestions for what happens next, I'm thinking we could have a fun morning after the heat. Yuuji seemed to think in the last chapter that his heat would end quickly, so where we go from here depends on whether he's right about that. If he is then I think next chapter should definitely have Sukuna teasing him about how clingy and cuddly he was during his heat while, and this is key, absolutely cuddling the shit out of him. I'm talking holding on with both arms purring and somehow still looking so smug while completely ignoring the hypocrisy as he refuses to let his brat leave the nest. Making fun of Yuuji for being a clingy little octopus as he does his best impression of a creeping vine clinging to a tree. If Yuuji's wrong and the heat is still going then I suggest some spice. I kinda wanna see pushy Yuuji domming from the bottom so to speak. He's in heat he knows what he needs and he's damn well going to take charge and get it. Sukuna can be along for the ride of his life. After that ends I wouldn't mind looking into these curse users some more are they working for Kenjaku? I almost want them to be an unrelated group just for the fun of adding a completely new group of unknown enemies for the plot but that would mean adding a lot of world building and motivations for these guys and this fic is a collective effort so other people would have to be interested. Until next time, thank you for writing and sharing with us!!
It always was fascinating to me that Sukuna's techniques were rather simple but used to a point they were so powerful. Also just the name of it "Shrine" always made it seem like there was so much more to it than just slash and burn. It makes me wonder if Sukuna was capable of a LOT more when he was at his height which makes it feel like Heian sorcerers had to be damn powerhouses compared today 8I
ALso good cuddles are nice and this fic had to earn its name at last with all the cuddles packed into this one! Had a TON of reader comments wanting cuddles hehe!
As for adding worldbuilding and plot...I'm ALWAYS excited when a reader adds something like that to the story! Helps to give it more direction and is often a very unique take <3 it adds things like the creep sorcerer and giving more room for bonding c:
Glad you are enjoying the fic dear reader!
#maca answers asks#Can't help a cuddle suggestions are nice!#Love getting chance to add more worldbuilding hehe!
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MOD
I SWEAR
YOU HAVE TO BE CORRECT THAT AREI IS ALIVE
IF YOU ARENT
I WILL COMMIT ATROCITIES
//I've seen continuous doubts about my theory, and for both Timeline Anon and others, this scene felt to them like the final nail in the coffin for that theory
//The fact that you're all immediately writing her off as dead when we're not even at the halfway point and there are so many unanswered questions is astounding.
//Ahem.
//If she's gone, explain to me why there's still so many unanswered plot threads and interesting character details
Why is it that J was the one who brought up that secret? A secret that Arei herself admitted she overheard, which directly lead into that flashback scene with those two?
Why has J been going so ham on Arturo this entire time? Yes, one could easily say it's because she's sick of him and put two and two together, but honestly, it seems like a bit of a leap from "you told me you wished you had a brother like mine instead of a sister" to "your sister killed herself"
//Again, I can totally understand her being vindictive over this, given all the shit Arturo's caused her and Eden. But from how Arturo was acting, honestly, I'm inclined to believe he didn't actually say anything like that
//But you know what makes perfect sense? The details that lead into my next point
3. We have an established time frame thanks to the alibis. We know that the scene with Arei and Eden took place not long after the playground breakdown.
//That means that was a large window of time for the two of them to switch places. But why?
//That's incredibly sweet, and we know she wants more friends. And we know that, at the same time, J has been dealing with Arturo. Arei just saw J pull a scalpel on Eden over his secret, so why wouldn't she want to immediately jump to the other person she likes in her own way?
//The person that's had to deal with him far longer than Eden. Why wouldn't she want to give J a hand after that?
4. Again, we know that Arei knows that there's a murderer in the group, and even if the switch wasn't about that specifically, that probably means that she was likely trying to help with that. This means that, if the blackened of this case isn't the murderer, she had no idea who actually did it. Why reveal herself then? That would make her the most suspicious.
5. Maybe it's just me, but I can't shake the feeling that J has been acting weird these last few episodes. She's an aggressive person, and admitted in her intro that she's judgemental, but there's never been indication that she's been this vindictive. Even regarding her own secret, this feels especially harsh.
6. This moment right here feels interesting to focus on
//Of all things to say?
7. The biggest one for me right now is actually Charles and Whit. Clearly, those two know something's up. There may not be a conspiracy going on in this group like I initially thought, but Whit is another person who Arei clearly was close with last chapter. He was the one who cut off Teruko learning about the note at first, and then there's this bit after Eden's story
//What are you two up to? What are you hiding?
//I'd almost be tempted to say they're suggesting Arei was actually lying, but that feels at odds with the ways they've acted and what they're saying. Not to mention Charles looks more embarrassed than concerned or angry
//Furthermore, there's the fact that there was so much attention drawn to Charles having a secret, including a CG and telling Teruko to reveal it during the trial...and then we got no follow-up on that. He was just like "Oh yeah, guess I didn't need to. It was Eden's."
//I don't buy it. There's clearly more going on here
8. Finally, the fact that they had an emotional scene like this? Not even halfway into the trial? If it was after the intermission or near the climax, if that was the last scene we got with Arei, I might've bought it. But putting it here? Not a chance. This has to be leading somewhere.
//Plus, you know who else was convinced their best friend was dead? Shuichi and Maki. And guess what? Them believing Kaito was dead was all part of the plan
//There's also the many, many unanswered questions throughout this chapter, from what it was Arei's crying reminded her of (again, still not followed up on), to Teruko's prosopagonsia (no, that isn't just here to set up something for a future case, I'm sure of it), to whatever the hell is going on with Nico, Hu, David and Ace, who are part of their own drama right now
//Yeah, sorry, I'm only increasingly convinced that I'm right about this. Admittedly, we keep getting thrown so many curveballs that it's getting harder to make sense of it all regarding the exact motive.
//But the fact that J has said things that it seems like only Arei would say and do, particularly being vindictive toward Arturo? And acted in weird ways, like being super concerned about Arei's well-being early on, saying things like "even if the person you tried to kill is still alive," all of it just odd to me
//I'm not in denial and I'm not saying this as copium, I mean that earnestly. There are so many weird writing moments and character bits, combined with hanging plot threads, that it leads me to believe that this is what they're building up to. It's really the only thing that makes sense to me right now
//Clearly they had a plan with Arei from the beginning, given that we got this huge emotional scene with her and Eden, but that can't be all there is to it. It's a sad and emotionally satisfying moment for her character to end on, but placing it here so early honestly leaves me convinced there's more to come
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Could I request riddlers with a s/o who has vitiligo?
"S/O with vitiligo" Riddler party ask
Of course! Just be aware as I do not have vitiligo or know anyone personally with vitiligo my understanding is based upon research and not experience. That being said, if I make mistakes please let me know so I can correct them. A little shorter on these!
tw: none
Gotham
Have you ever wanted an info-dump about vitiligo? Because you're going to get an info-dump about vitiligo. What potentially causes it, the different treatments, the historical origin of the word Vitiligo- Did you know vitiligo used to be associated with leprosy? Which is simply ridiculous since they're nothing alike-
It may come off annoying or even incredibly tone-deaf but it's because he finds you as a person so fascinating. He wants to show his interest in you and that he cares! Redirect him if it gets to be too much and he'll apologize and move on.
60s
He knows what vitiligo is. But more in the sense of textbooks and medical journals. He's never met someone quite like you and, embarrassingly, he at first thought it was a new fad of theater makeup. He'd wondered how you made the forms so fluid and unique along your skin...
Now that he's aware though, expect a constant stream of creative compliments relating to the "artistry" of your markings. How they curve and accentuate your being. There's something almost scandalous about touching you- to him, you have the beauty of a painting in a museum.
Btas
Well, sweetheart, aren't you a beauty? Have you the wits to match? He makes a point of being clear that appearances are low on the rankings of things that matter. However, it's certainly a nice bonus that he can look at you for hours on end <3
There will come a time you both forget sunscreen and both of you burn. You because of the lack of pigment making your skin vulnerable. Him because he is a white man with red hair. At least you can rub aloe on the others sunburns and take care of each other the day after!
Arkham
Honestly at some point he's seen a bit of everything so vitiligo, while rare, he doesn't even give a second glance. Were you expecting some kind of reaction? Sorry to disappoint you.
While it goes without saying all of them would defend you if some asshole decided to make a comment, Arkham is ESPECIALLY ready to go off when needed: "Do you know how rare vitiligo is? Not only do they possess leagues more intelligence than you, in addition to their attractiveness- they're also more interesting and unique than you could ever hope to be."
And if anyone asks any intrusive questions? He's going to tear them a new one.
Telltale
Honestly he's incredibly neutral about it. He doesn't say much about you having the condition unless you bring it up. It might seem standoffish but for him that's how he shows respect for you, by not making a deal out of it.
Expect him to be testy about you taking any potential autoimmune medication and sunscreen, though. And downright hostile if anyone thinks to make any comments or "cute" nicknames you didn't ask for.
Zero year
Oh, his cute little rabbit- Hm? The pet name? After the harlequin rabbit, of course. A rare breed prized for their unique dual-colored fur patterns. It's fitting for his Aphrodite/Adonis. His extraordinary love who should always recognize their beauty.
Guess who ALSO has skin really sensitive to sunburns? Like BTAS, his red hair and fair toned skin means he BURNS in the sun. So you'll never forget sunscreen... because he'll be applying his right before offering to do yours.
2022/Nashton
If you're self conscious about it at all, he's going to kiss every single mark. Drag his fingertips along the edges where the soft white patches begin. You're going to feel loved if he has anything to say about it. He knows what it's like to feel that self-loathing that sits in the pit of your stomach.
He's going to actually literally murder anyone that makes you uncomfortable or hurts your feelings. Or at minimum sick his online following on them and ruin their day if not week, month or year. Put you down?! How DARE they? They aren't even worthy of looking at you!
#riddler#gotham riddler#2022 riddler#zero year riddler#telltale riddler#arkham riddler#btas riddler#60s riddler#riddler x reader#foxwriting
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MY YANDERE SIMULATOR CONCEPT
Gameplay and Visual Design Concepts
The base idea of Yandere Simulator is pretty strong! That's just to say that I enjoy it though, my opinions can be kinda shit but still! The idea of systematically going through and eliminating your romantic rivals sounds like a fun game concept, but issues arise when you ask "what genre of game?" Since the one we have now is OVERWHELMED with issues. There's too many little details and distractions, with many additions not really fleshing out the world and instead just making things feel overstuffed and tangential. There's so many things to look at and explore which almost all become null and void as the rival eliminations have strict time limits and days must be spent solely on those things, giving you little to no time to actually experience the extraneous details. Additionally, the specific elimination methods don't really allow for much experimentation with the various items and weapons around the school, especially the blunt object weapons like the pipe or the baseball bat. There's so many different elimination methods and ways of killing but many of those methods just feel far less useful if none of the 'cooler' ways are completely unviable and pointless to carry out, basically only having negative consequences if you try to experiment beyond the "schemes." The schemes is also pretty stupid idea in its own right basically preventing user experimentation entirely by providing such strict instructions for your plots that any experimentation just becomes null and void as a result. It just leaves things feeling hollow and unearned as a result.
Many of main issues I have with the gameplay and presentation is entirely to do with the format of the game, which, I believe, also contributes to the main struggles with development. Models, animations, and cutscenes are all either inhibited, slowed, or completely ruined by the presentation of the game. The post-processing, blurriness, and character models in particular make everything look less than ideal. This leads me to my point and my idea for what this kind of story is best suited for...
A Visual Novel
I may just have a bias for visual novels but I do believe that with the rework I'd want with the story, a visual novel would be the best option. I want to completely replan the story anyway but even the original concept could work as a visual novel with enough planning and writing power. I imagine it more as an Ace Attorney style visual novel with a time system implemented. You can move around to the notable locations in the school and look for specific items in each room. These items will be marked in the background, and can be found with the right means and the right information. Talking to people isn't required but can be helpful if you're looking for a specific tool or trying to plan out a murder plot or trying to get dirt on the particular rival.
Additionally, there's a game design concept I want to focus more on. The idea that throughout the game, it's a Ayano/Ayato's descent into madness from their crimes and actions. Sanity is less of a gameplay factor and more of a central story theme. Additionally this is shown best with the rivals and "rivals" you kill throughout. The real rivals being those who show an interest in Taro/Taeko and who they might have an interest in as well. This will be touched on more in the rival section, but the descent into simply killing people who happen to just be near them is something I want to have built up to over time as you kill more and more people who are seemingly of no "threat" whatsoever.
I'll cover a lot of that once we get to the story section but before that I want to address setting and design.
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so since they're here on a test basis right now, i'm going to put down a little headcanon post for the new muses i'm trying out with whatever can come to mind. obviously some will have more than others.
Alastor
i'm going with grey-ace for him, demiromantic. he'll need a lot of work if you want to get close to him, but i doubt that's a surprise in the slightest.
zero sexual or ( genuine ) romantic experience. he can flirt as long as he needs to in order to obtain something, but that's about it. he's charming by nature, but also absolutely unhinged.
if you do manage to get close to him in that regard you need to know he will be extremely murder - happy with anyone that tries to step in. meaning if someone tries to get in the way of the relationship? hope you didn't value your life.
hates having his tail and ears touched. unless he actually trusts you, but you still have to ask first.
whatever you do, don't try to touch him without consent first. he hates it and will not hesitate to kill you if you ignore this.
don't expect him to be gentle at first. he doesn't really know how to be that. it'll take a lot of learning because he hates being vulnerable.
Blitzo
i'm putting it out here now my default for him is in fact stolitz but i'm sure that's no surprise. i'm not really into blitz/fizz as anything other than friends/childhood crushes.
he's pan through and through and doesn't really need an emotional attachment for sex, but he definitely prefers it.
despite the shit he loves to give moxxie and millie he'd never actually try anything with them. ( he's just jealous )
most of his emotion will show in his tail - his true emotions that is. he still can't control himself very well.
why yes i am keeping him emotionally stunted because we all know that he is and quite frankly i understand how he feels way too well.
sure you can date him, but he won't ever tell you he loves you because he's afraid of being hurt again .
please don't touch his horns unless he gives you permission. he can and will shoot you point blank in the gut for it.
Carmilla
demi through and through. she really doesn't even think about anything regarding her own relationships, since she's more worried about her daughters and her work.
probably one of the most sleep deprived honestly. she's always got so much going on it's ridiculous.
yes, she wears those angelic steel pointe shoes everywhere when she leaves her home.
zestial and rosie are the only two that have seen her in her more relaxed state, especially the former.
she can and will adopt any she feels are truly in need of a place to call home, but also show great potential in other areas.
i hc her as a fallen angel - this is something she keeps as a secret from almost everyone.
Niffty
i'd probably put her as straight tbh?? girl and her obsession with bad boys smh...
but idk if she'll really do much, she's got her work cut out for her at the hotel after all
you can take the dagger from the girl, but you can't take every weapon from her at all times no matter what you do
Stolas
i'll only ever write him as separated from stella, and default to the octavia he refers to as my own just for simplicity.
he is pan, and honestly? on the verge of being effectively gender blind - meaning that unless your muse is very obviously displaying as a specific gender he'll default to using more neutral terms in hopes of keeping from offending anyone.
absolute hopeless romantic. nothing and no one will ever be able to change that.
yes, he is on antidepressants.
his relationship with octavia is probably one of the most precious things in his life and he'd do anything to keep her safe and help make her happy. he knows he isn't the best dad, but he's doing what he can to improve for her sake.
i am absolutely open to exploring ships with him that don't involve blitzo. just come talk to me about it.
if you're interested in shipping with any of them, only do so with the knowledge in mind that i may not be keeping any of these muses. there's no guarantee unless i really manage to find i have a strong muse for them in the end.
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@brbnightmares it's especially bad with fiction and YA. It echoes the whiny complaints of how any depiction of a fat person is "glorifying obesity." I have definitely seen some anti-soc stuff represented in a way I don't like, but depicting it in a narrative is not an endorsement. I am not an anti content warning person at all, but people who call out for actual handholding in the narrative is ridiculous. very disappointing to see so many readers like this especially.
I'm gonna stop torturing people by reblogging my own post now, but I do want to liberate this stuff from the comments, so: Yes, you're absolutely right. Like considering the whole political history of gatekeeping around education and printed matter and everything, reading has become almost synonymous with personal liberation--I always think about John Waters saying, "If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck'em!" And yet we still get young people who seem to love to read and write, but they crave to be regulated and censored; is it some kind of submission kink? That might be the nicest thing I can think about it.
Tangentially: When I was a kid my intellectual hippie parents were EXTREMELY anxious about my horror obsession. They were concerned about the grimy content of what I was interested in, and they were also concerned about the brain-rotting powers of screen entertainment. But, they would let me read anything I wanted, I think because they understood that reading is a good thing pretty much no matter what, and probably they also couldn't stand to imagine themselves censoring the written word. The funny thing is that since the word is free from the expense and complication of building special effects and getting past the MPAA, I read WAY more fucked up shit in pulp paperbacks than I could ever have encountered in 99% of all movies. But of course, it didn't turn me against my own moral sense vis-a-vis the real world, nobody's pets started disappearing in our neighborhood after I began spending hours at the library. What I remember about the experience is feeling things, not to be so corny; like fear, loathing, existential dread, and ambivalence may not be desirable real-world experiences, but books that challenge you emotionally make you grow. They literally change your mind for the better, even the bad ones can. And now it feels like there's this thing going on where people don't want to be challenged, they see adversity and unease as something contaminating and unfair, like we're all entitled to a frictionless, idealized existence even in the nonsense world of social media. Which I think wouldn't even be good for you.
It feels like we've gone from the dubious thing of people coveting the valor that is supposedly conveyed by victimhood and oppression, to people literally just wanting to be babies, and to be treated like babies. And I don't know, not to like waaaaay over-hyperbolize everything, but people need to remember that the reason fascism takes root so quickly and easily is that being told what to do, what to read, what to think, and to have every possibility of your life dogmatically restricted--to have all of your personal responsibility taken away from you and placed in someone else's hands--can be incredibly comforting.
PS I worry about trigger warnings re: *gestures vaguely* all of this. I will tag for types of real-life trauma and violence that I don't think are fair to spontaneously foist on unsuspecting followers, BUT: I often think of a time when this popular true crime blogger answered an ask where the person was asking her to tag her posts for needles. And like, I'm pretty sure the context was that she had posted the famous x-ray of sadomasochistic child murderer Albert Fish's colon with like twenty pins jammed up it. So the blogger very judiciously responded with something like, you know, "I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I'm not going to tag images of pins and needles. My blog is de facto full of disturbing and violent content, and the items you are describing are things that you might encounter in ordinary, benign situations in real life. If your aversion to them is so powerful that you can't even look at them, then frankly, that's something you're going to have to deal with privately, and you might want to avoid this blog in general." I loved her for that.
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Back in P4G. Yukiko's whole thing seems to be that she's so anxious about her family's inn that she misses a lot of social cues, especially ones she doesn't want to deal with right now, like romance. Also, this dude from another school just showed up to ask her out??? Where the fuck is there even another school around here?
Don't go to a second location with strangers.
I've lived in these exact types of small towns, lmao. They call it a suburb but it's very rural. If you have a fucking field and multiple farmers around, that's a rural town.
holy shit chie. i'm trying to give you a fair shake here but damn. Punching people in the nuts and asking invasive questions and revealing your best friend has never had a boyfriend is a LOT.
It's very odd but even though everyone here is around the same age as the P3P cast, Chie strikes me as emotionally much younger. But hey, I was harsh on Yukari in P3P and got schooled when she turned out awesome. I got hope for you, Chie.
Okay so. School was let out suddenly because a murder. ALSO THE BODY WAS HANGING FROM A TELEVISION ANTENNAE. And come to find out, it was the local reporter who's embroiled in some... local... scandal thing? (If this game expects me to care about a councildude who did an affair, idk man, i just work here.)
[CARTOMANCY CORNER]
She was hung upside down. Interesting. As a Hanged Man Stan, I have to say that the card is often about a willing sacrifice. You are suspending yourself in an inverted state in the hope of having some sort of epiphany brought on from the new perspective. It comes at a significant risk though, as you may be dooming yourself to death or madness by taking that chance.
While the Wheel of Fortune is about fate being kind or cruel, Hanged Man is about taking the dice in hand and rolling them. I don't know if this lady was an investigative journalist, but if she happened to place herself in a dangerous situation in the search for a scandalous truth and died for it, that's Hanged Man to a T.
[/CARTOMANCY CORNER]
Anyway.
This shot is pretty.
Went to the shrine and it told me to get the fuck out. Hey, rude.
...
Well at least he let me ride on his bike, that's cute. I can't tell if I like Yosuke (not Yusuke, I guess that's ANOTHER Persona character, whoops) or if I just really like his voice acting. Hard to tell.
After class he invites me out for grilled steak as thanks and uh
This is entirely my damage of coming from an incredibly food-insecure upbringing, but man, what the fuck, Chie. You already KICKED HIM IN THE NUTS, you don't get to extract more concessions.
Okay, do I like Yosuke, or do I get Cheerful Bully vibes from Chie? HM.
also yukiko you're like 16, please don't even step on a weight scale, goddamn. send me back to Iwatodai, please. I think P4 has mentioned girls' weights more already than in the entirety of P3P.
Anyway, Yukiko is off to work on her very concerning teenage eating disorder while Yosuke takes everyone to the local...
Junes is easy to dismiss as a Japanese Walmart--
wait. i have to google something right now.
Okay, Walmart tried to move into the Japanese market by purchasing a chain called Seiyu, but as of 2020 they are almost entirely out of the game, sold most of their shares, and apparently they just don't do well in non-American markets. Interesting to know!
ANYWAY MY POINT WAS, Junes is less Walmart and more Target-meets-Costco. A very pleasant place to shop with good marketing and food provided on-site, but also still undercutting and screwing the local businesses. Yosuke works for TargetCo. Costget.
also Chie complains that Yosuke changed the plan from grilled steak to food court and I'm plastering on a smile and chanting give her a chance, we are less than two hours in here.
Saki works here too, she's "senpai" so I assume a senior, and Yosuke's got a transparent crush and she is Not Interested. Also the vibes are Bad, like she can tell Yosuke is a good guy but his business is putting her family's liquor store in jeopardy, so.
Man, remember when my group drama was whether Junpei and Akihiko could successfully talk to girls at the beach? Man. 😬😬😬
Saki comes over to basically neg Yosuke???? So our man Reverie asks her if she though Terezi and Vriska were pale or black or red until she leaves, saving the day. Phew.
Aaaaaaand here we go. Some PLOT. Thank you god. Everyone agrees to try the Midnight Channel thingie.
Did this game have these anime cutscenes originally? I avguely remember them but not how LONG they are. Were these repurposed from the anime or made bespoke? Anyway, they look great.
Saki is on the Midnight Channel, and then our heroic dumbfuck almost gets eaten by the TV.
good job, idiot.
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Hey, I was wondering what you think of Queem/Quiem McMann from Choujin X? He hasn’t had much screen time besides a couple flashbacks, some lore dumps and a few quotes, but I think he’s already very interesting. His quote that states that humans only have one real emotion being fear (which implies he was extremely fearful) and the fact that he has a similar obsession with weapons and violence makes him sound like a parallel to Azuma, perhaps the Zora to Azuma’s Tokio.
As well, you’ve often analysed the series from a Nietzsche lens, and I think Quiem is by far the most overtly Nietzschian character. He outright refers to himself as the Ubermensch of War (in his backstory page in a volume extra), comes from a Choujin (supermen) supremacist country and doctrine and even explicitly hates God and religion enough to commit terror attacks on the clergy. I think his rivalry between Zora has very interesting connotations from a Nietzsche pov. Both are Choujin supremacists who treat Choujin as having more of a right to live and be free than humans, but while Quiem sees the Choujin as having moved past the need for God, Zora and her followers think the Choujin are the very manifestation of God
Hello, sorry for taking some time to think this over but I believe I'll be even better able to answer this question in light of what we learned in this most recent chapter. You're right in that Queem seems to be a heavily important character to both the lore and the themes of the series. I discussed the religious angles of his character and Zora on another post, but there's still more to be said about Queem as an embodiment of war.
Historically, Queem seems to have started what was this world's equivalent of the world wars, especially in the Asian pacific theatre. However, instead of speaking on the world war two allegory that seems a bit obvious, I think there's an interesting analysis in regards to the intersection of nihilism and the "great man theory."
Rather than looking at Queem as an allegory for Hitler, let's look at him as a napoleon instead, someone often mentioned in the same sentence as Julius Caesar. Instead of looking at Nietzsche's words himself though, there are other works of literature written in Nietzsche's time when political nihilism was becoming a prevailing philosophy of thought.
Crime and Punishment is written by Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky, it depicts aman who murders a pawn shop owner with an axe, and the only witness to the crime. After committing the murder, Raskolnikov goes on to justify this murder along nihilistic philosophy lines that his actions can't be judged as good or evil for many reasons.
His most famous theory to justify the murder is that he divides the world into extraordinary people, such as Solon, Ceasar and Napoloen, and ordinary people who simply serve to propagate the species. Extroardinary people, he theorizes, must have "the right to transgress" or progress would be impossible.
“No, not exactly because of it,” answered Porfiry. “In his article all men are divided into ‘ordinary’ and ‘extraordinary.’ Ordinary men have to live in submission, have no right to transgress the law, because, don’t you see, they are ordinary. But extraordinary men have a right to commit any crime and to transgress the law in any way, just because they are extraordinary. That was your idea, if I am not mistaken?” “What do you mean? That can’t be right?” Razumihin muttered in bewilderment. Raskolnikov smiled again. He saw the point at once, and knew where they wanted to drive him. He decided to take up the challenge. “That wasn’t quite my contention,” he began simply and modestly. “Yet I admit that you have stated it almost correctly; perhaps, if you like, perfectly so.” (It almost gave him pleasure to admit this.) “The only difference is that I don’t contend that extraordinary people are always bound to commit breaches of morals, as you call it. In fact, I doubt whether such an argument could be published. I simply hinted that an ‘extraordinary’ man has the right… that is not an official right, but an inner right to decide in his own conscience to overstep… certain obstacles, and only in case it is essential for the practical fulfilment of his idea (sometimes, perhaps, of benefit to the whole of humanity).
Queem's belief mirrors Raskolnikov's own, that Choujin because they are superior, have the right to transgress over others in pursuit of a greater goal. Which is why I say you can compare him to a napoleonic figure, believing he has the right to start a war in order to make france a great nation. A figure in history who threw the whole world into a series of chaotic wars, was praised for their military genius, only to ultimately lose.
There is a scene in another Russian novel by Leo Tolstoy named War and Peace, which tackles this similiar Great Man Theory in regards to Napoleon. A main character enters the war out of his admiration for Napoleon who he considers to be a military genius, only to come across him at the end of a terrible battle and realize how small of a man napoleon really is.
“Voilà une belle mort,” said Napoleon, looking at Bolkonsky. Prince Andrei understood that it had been said about him, and that it was Napoleon speaking. […] But he heard these words as if he was hearing the buzzing of a fly. He not only was not interested, he did not even notice, and at once forgot them. […] He knew that it was Napoleon— his hero— but at that moment, Napoleon seemed to him such a small, insignificant man compared with what was now happening between his soul and this lofty, infinite sky with clouds racing across it.
I think Queem as a character exists to explore two questions, do Choujins because of their power do bear the right (or even the burden) to transgress, and do their powers, or actions, or genius, or whatever you might believe them to have make them more significant than other people?
This is where we get to the obvious parallels between Azama and Queem's character, as obsession with war and inherent greatness are ideas that run deep down into Azama's psyche. When he raises with his choujin powers for the first time, it's accompanied by knives, guns and tanks, the same kind of warfare imagery we always see go hand in hand with mention of Queem.
A lot of Azuma's motivation comes from following his own personal philosophy of justice, his desire to be a great enforcer of law like his father the policeman.
The quote about two people always, inevitably going to war with each other comes from Queem and it was used to describe Azuma's relationship with Tokio.
Azuma's deepest motivations are well described by these two quotes. Number one his secret fear / insecurity that Tokio is the kind of great man that Azuma wants so desperately to be, which is why he's always living in fear of Tokio surpassing him and clings to the pedestal that Tokio puts him on. Number two, his desire to go to war in general.
Azuma from the start wanted to become something like a choujin, to transform into something greater and do something with his life because he was lacking in something.
Azuma seems to embody these two sides of Queem. Queem is the kind of person that Azuma is striving to be, a great man of history. Azuma deliberately seeks out war in order to prove himself, the way that Queem threw the entire world into war to prove the inherent greatness of him and the choujin surrounding him.
While striving for larger than life ideas they are both also, like Napoleon in War and Peace shown to be rather small. Azuma's driven by a combination of fear of other people and his inferiority complex.
With what we learn about Queem to his ending was rather pathetic. He never conquered or held onto any territory after the war he started, and he died right in the middle of it. He also died as an opium addict after having lost all of his humanity and even the ability to change back.
In striving to be something greater than human, Queem ends up falling down into something less than human and losing everything. Which seems to be the same dangerous path that Azuma is now walking in his attempts to strive for a greater ideal of justice.
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I've read the Will post you reblogged, it's all very sweet, but: Merlin himself has said that the years before he came in Camelot were the loneliest years of his life. His mother, Will, the entire village of people not hostile to magic were less dear to him that his destiny service to Camelot. So, no: relationship with Will is secondary to him, there ficwriters are right writing them in such manner. This passage about loneliness was probably created by the writers to emphasize Arthur & Merlin's unusual kind of friendship, like they only have each other, but in fact it devaluated Will for Merlin and the knights for Arthur.
Hi anon! Cool glasses.
Yeah, I haven't analysed that post that deeply, I just thought there were some interesting points in there (as someone who's never given much thought to Will). And for the record, sometimes I might agree with 90% of a meta post and go "eh, I don't know" about the rest — I might still reblog it, because it's still food for thought, and I'm okay with not agreeing 100% with everyone all of the time. (Unless I think they are blatantly wrong about the remaining 10%). People can interpret things differently and that's alright. That's what makes things interesting!
That said.
Merlin himself has said that the years before he came in Camelot were the loneliest years of his life.
This passage about loneliness was probably created by the writers to emphasize Arthur & Merlin's unusual kind of friendship (...) but in fact it devaluated Will for Merlin
Merlin was always lonely. He might have been less lonely in Camelot than he was in Ealdor, just by virtue of being around more people and feeling like he was working towards a bigger purpose, but he was lonely. He is so lonely it's heartbreaking.
It's... lonely. To be more powerful than any man you know, and have to live like a shadow. To be special, and have to pretend you're a fool.
It's a loneliness born out of having to hide his true nature and, at the same time, being unable to befriend those he could be open with about his magic, people like him — Morgana and Mordred, of course, but occasionally also the Baddie of the Week — because fate and prophecies have set them on opposing sides. It's tragic.*
(Colin Morgan himself briefly touches upon Merlin's loneliness in his commentary to Ep 5x02, when he says "there's a sense of loneliness in all the magical characters, I think. [...] All united in the loneliness.")
So, personally, I don't think Merlin talking about his loneliness says anything negative or even especially significant about the quality of his friendship with Will. Merlin was (and remains) lonely because of his nature and of his circumstances. It's not really anything to do with Will.
His mother, Will, the entire village of people not hostile to magic were less dear to him that his destiny service to Camelot
Just because magic isn't banned in Cenred's kingdom, it doesn't mean that the people there are less hostile to magic. If people in Ealdor were tolerant towards magic, Merlin wouldn't have had to hide it the whole time he was there. He might not have been burnt at the stake for it, but it's very much implied he would've been (at the very least) viewed with mistrust or even ostracised by the other villagers.
And I don't believe S1 Merlin considered his mother less important than his destiny. He tries to bargain his life for hers in 1x13. (Even in 2x09 he is ready to give up his destiny to run away with Freya. Also almost killed Arthur, btw. And yes, in my book that is pretty much a murder attempt).
I assume you're saying that because he initially refused to use magic to defend his village? But like I said, Ealdor was only slightly less hostile to sorcerers than Camelot, and Arthur was right there. It wasn't just a matter of what was more important to Merlin, it was a matter of his own survival too. S1 Arthur wasn't ready to hear about Merlin's magic. He literally lectures Merlin about magic being dangerous while he's watching his childhood friend burn on a funeral pyre (dick move, by the way). The man who died saving his life. So that didn't leave Merlin with much choice, despite what Will's rebuke implies.
In the end he does use magic, and he's almost discovered — he only gets away with it because Will takes the blame. So his reluctance in using magic to defend his village wasn't completely unfounded.
Was Will more important than Arthur to S1 Merlin, or even equally important? I suppose that's a matter of interpretation.
The author wrote:
I feel that Merlin’s relationship with Will is something that is important to him, and something that he has never considered to be secondary or less important than the relationships he built in Camelot.
IMO, Will was clearly a dear friend to Merlin, regardless of his comment about feeling lonely in Ealdor. And I don't know if Merlin's relationship with Will was as important to him as the relationships he built in Camelot (in which I include people other than Arthur, like Gaius and Gwen), but it clearly was important.
Will was literally the only person who knew about Merlin's magic, other than his mother, before he met Gaius. The only person he didn't have to hide his true nature from. That's got to count for something.
And as much as Merlin cared about Arthur, he never had that with him. It was, tragically, a very one-sided relationship, until almost the very end.
I think you might still argue that Merlin's relationship with Arthur was more important — if you were so inclined — because of the whole destiny thing and how it gave Merlin a sense of purpose. But based on the friendship alone? Very one-sided, like I said. And I don't think Merlin was significantly less lonely around Arthur.
Sorry, I've just rambled on.
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*I'm 100% sure I wrote a short meta post (well, random thoughts) about this because it's something I've thought about so much. And now I can't find it. Why do I even tag posts when I can't find anything half of the time!!
ETA: found it
#asks#in which i have Thoughts#merlin meta#(sort of???)#I had a scroll through op's meta and i don't always agree with everything they say btw. which is fine.#(they like daegal (!!!) who as some of you might remember. I don't. I don't like him.)#but yeah they argue that merlin's sulkiness in 1x11 is due to will's death too#and that's an intersting theory!! but I'm not convinced#only because i don't think the writers put that much thought into that kind of continuity#they were literally shooting episodes in random order#and 1x10 is a self-contained episode of sorts#merlin goes back home and saves the day. also loses a friend because of course he does. the end#it doesn't really have much of a repercussion on subsequent eps#like the lady of the lake#literally in ep 2x10 merlin acts as if he's never heard of the concept of girls!! after the whole freya episode!#so yeah i don't think they were paying that much attention to the death of a minor character in the following ep#but you know. it could be read that way. if you wanted.
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