#you're a piece of shit. stand by your fucking morals or shut up.

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

the thing about people who use 'subjective morality' as a shield against being held accountable is like, cool, you can believe whatever you want about whether you should get to cut in line for ice cream. no one is obligated to give you the ice cream on that basis, nor are they obligated to not kick you out of line for being an asshole. stand by your beliefs you fucking pussy.

[suguru-getos]

| Bully!Satoru Gojo x F!reader | Part 2 |

-> Part 1

Summary: You had just transferred schools, and your first day was an encounter with your new bully. He’s mean, terrifically hot & absolutely a menace. Though there’s more to that personna. Chapter Summary: After humiliating Gojo in the cafeteria, he has better ways to force pay-back. Hey! That shirt you ruined, was expensive.

Warnings: Oh he is a real piece of shit here with a barely there moral compass. Mentions of humiliation, bul!ying, belittling, teasing. The reader is slowly getting into an auto-pilot mode.

New chapter every week, comment down below if you want to be tagged! ^^

Taglist: @mc-reborn @tvdumarvelhpsimp @alula394 @getoxmahito @knanamii @he4rts444mi @localginger22 @animeisforkings @ran6ia @creative1writings @lenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @zoemaelol @shoutascoffeepot

It feels like pure humiliation, the way you walked off from the cafeteria. Satoru stood there, the warm, sticky gravy sticking to him. It feels like a sensory nightmare. White hot rage simmering through the very marrow of his bones. He exhales, glancing up just to see if there was anyone dumb enough to enjoy his misery he could stomp on. Nobody had the balls to, nobody has the balls to until you come across.

What was your fucking problem?

He walked away from the cafeteria, long strides eager to seek you out and punish you ruthlessly for your deranged and depraved, bratty behaviour. Satoru Gojo is worshipped like the literal god, who the hell are you? Meanwhile, you, amidst all your molten courage flowing in your veins, were the epitome of anxiety. You can't mistake his blazing steamy rage filled blue eyes greying… to be anything but merciful. You're not delusional.

A veiny, pale hand gripped your hair, the other wrapped around your mouth as you were dragged through the lonesome corridor. You whimpered at the burn in your scalp and before you could register what was happening, Satoru was standing in front of you. Baring his hostile teeth as he grits. "You've done it." He's almost amused, contemplating what more he can do to you, what more can you really handle… then again, does it matter if you can or can’t handle?

"Here's what's going to happen…" He pushed himself against your chest, unrelenting at how disgusting you might feel, transferring the filth on his shirt to yours. You struggled like a fish out of water. Satoru is taller, bulkier, stronger and you realize that soon enough.

"You will be my silly little pet, because guess how much this shirt costs?" He chuckled, whispering gravely against the shell of your ear. "1800 dollars, missy."

You feel shocked upon hearing the price, eyes widening as he slowly leaned his hand away so you could speak.

"Either you fucking pay me back, with interest for each day. Or you shut the fuck up and be my silly little pet for a month I will stomp on, my little useless errand girl. Sounds fitting to someone who looks like you, no?" He smirks, watching the colour fade in your eyes. He is sort of impressed by himself, the way he instantaneously thought of such a brilliant idea. That money means nothing to him, but not everyone is that blessed.

Once you finally gathered what was happening, you raised a brow. "Why should I be an errand girl to someone who collided against me and is now begging to be paid for his filthy shirt? Learn to walk properly asshole!" You spit back, eyes siren and jaw gritted.

"Kay then, I will ask your mommy and daddy to pay for their daughter's bullshit." He left your hair, the pain subsiding into a dull ache.

He wasn't fucking serious was he? You and your parents weren't essentially on the best terms, they have just shifted to Tokyo and while they would be willing to pay, your self-respect wouldn't allow you. Your mother would keep taunting you about this for the rest of your life… you really don't want that.

Satoru noticed the shift in your behaviour when he mentioned your parents - "Heh, guess they don't like you either huh?" He smirked, not caring how hard it would jab you. It kinda did.. but you couldn't care less. Not coming from him especially.

"10 days, of me being your errand girl." You wanted to be ploughed down into death once you uttered these words. There was nothing you could do anyways. Parents involving, not so much…

"A month." Satoru shrugged, smirking. He has you exactly where he wants. His sole goal is to make you cry every single day and make sure you apologize for being a little shit to him.

"And, you do whatever the fuck I say you to. If I tell you to clean my shoe with your tongue, you 'fucking' clean my shoe with your tongue."

Oh it felt like dying, like you were stabbed endlessly by a thousand swords when he said that.

"How do I know after a month you wouldn't bother me or my parents with the money?" Satoru raised a brow, smirking. "I'm a man of my word, little bitch." He squeezed your face in a single hand, watching your puckered lips. "I say you're free after a month, then you're free after a month, though you'll wish every single day that you paid me back." He chuckled, rolling his eyes as he let go of your face with a jerk, letting the back of your head collide a little with the wall.

You were so cute, small, stompable…

"See me when the school ends."

Satoru walked away with that, and your shoulders slumped. This is what it has truly come to? You needed some time to yourself after this, why are you always so pushy and so cocky? What if you didn't humiliate him… a month of sheer torture is what you've signed up for, just to not be tortured by your mother. Besides, it's a lot of money and you don't think your parents owe you because a shitty ass senior got pissed.

You dragged your feet to him, after the school ended. His whole group was present, they were busy chitchatting. Satoru perked up like a spoiled brat the moment his eyes glazed through you beneath the glasses. "My little lap bitch is hereeee~" He perked, walking towards you and smirking at how you grimace when you see the way he was treating you.

"Go, fetch us popsickles." He grinned, giving you the money. You didn't say anything, trying oh so hard not to slap him across the face and breathing out. "Mkay."

You looked up, counting the number of people, "Excluding yourself, no popsickles for you." He simply shrugged.

Oh he was getting beneath your nerves so bad. "I wouldn't buy them for myself." You explained anyway, "Don't wan' em." With that, you walked away, getting to the vending machine and getting those fucking popsickles which you rather wish were poisoned so he dies for good.

When you're back, he made sure you give them to everyone, made sure you give it to him- after opening the packet- and then dropped it.

"Whoops, gotta run again lil girl." He chuckled, his friends were… stunned too. Satoru is a cunt, they all know that. He pushes people through their limits but he's never been this much of an asshole towards any girl. Maybe because none of them did anything except slither around him and worship him.

You tear up, you have never… felt this humiliated in your life ever. Nanami gives his popsickle to Satoru, "Here, Gojo san. I don't want it. Please take it." He is so polite, kind… but his Senpai had other plans.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" He raises his voice a little, and you are left with nothing but a reminder of him demanding this money from your parents. Your feet are stoned to the ground though, unmoving. "Okay." You managed to say again, taking a deep breath as you force yourself to the vending machine yet again, bringing back his popsickle.

You thought highschool would be fun, you would make new friends, go to karaoke parties, excel in subjects, in extra curriculars, whatnot.. you never expected yourself landing into the clutches of rich asshole Gojo Satoru.

Once you're back, you unwrap it again and give it to him. For fuck's sake he finally accepted.

"Kay, gimme your number." He extends his hand with his phone on it, letting you reluctantly add your number and saving it as 'Servant'. Showing it to you to rub salt on your wounds. "Off you go, see you tomorrow." He smiled. You were relieved you don't need to see his face for the rest of the day.

Once you reached home, you cried. All the emotions overwhelming you all at once. Guess he was right, he will make you cry everyday..

The rest of the day passes by in a haze before you find yourself back in school again.

"OH good morning little errand girl!" Satoru's presence looms, he was waiting for you at the entrance, you looked up at him. Not responding for now. You needed to get to class. OH so you're being indifferent now? Satoru is pissed…

"So eager to go to class, I have a job for you though!" He snickers, watching your stompy feet come to a pause. Good, you were still listening. He will push you a little more. "During the lunch time, go and bring my lunch for me, kay? You won't eat unless I finish." He smirked, walking away.

The problem is… it's not fun anymore. At least… not how it was when you retaliated. Maybe he shouldn't have used the money thing and just teased you when you had the means to push it back. You just nodded and left.

During the lunch time, you did as directed. Bringing his plate to him in front of everyone… oh it satiated his silly little ego so much.

Though he wonders if you will snap… finally. If not, he can just push it. No? He extends his hand to Haibara who reluctantly gave his water bottle to Satoru.

Before you could process what happened, you were drenched. The white shirt now translucent, showing your bra. Everyone laughed, some of them were gawking at how the shirt does no justice to you, now that it sticks to your skin, you look much more delectable. "Oops, my hand slipped." He says again, though he knows he's pushed this one too hard. Today was only the second day. Besides, a vile feeling erupted beneath him when he felt others gawk at you. Look away. Look. THE FUCK. AWAY.

Rolling his eyes, he puts his blazer on you, "Here, go get changed.." He mumbled, your silence was not helping. Not fucking helping when you shivered at the coldness of your body, how you just… took it. You didn't even cry, this was to be expected from him anyways.

You nodded, walking towards the infirmary alone. "For fuck's sake…" Satoru snarled, whatever left of his inner conscience slapping him hard as he followed you to it. Making sure you change your clothes and gave you a juice.

You were silent again, taking it from him. "Got nothing to say?" He raises a brow, "I thought you were all big and mean…" He emphasized again.

"Nothing to say. I expected worse." You shrugged, walking away. You expected 'worse'? What kind of worse…

"What the fuck do you mean?" He holds your wrist, "You know, like beating me the fuck up or something." You looked at his eyes. Wow… you truly think of him as vile and disgusting don't you? Why does it pinch him so hard? He's done nothing but bother you and made you believe he is trash.

"Kay." He mumbles, walking away. He's the one bullying you and he's the one being bullied at the same time.

Satoru Gojo doesn't bother you for the rest of the week and the weekend after.

Monday… he asks you to hold his bag for him all the way to his home. Watches you cutely manage both yours and his bag when he could easily hold your bag and you…

You're panting softly when you reach the Gojo estate, cutting the call from your mother and texting her you'll be late. "Here's your bag." You gave it to him and he took it from you easy peasy. "Alright, well.." He can see the sweat beads on your forehead, the way you are twisting your shoulder for relief. Suguru has already stopped talking to him because of this behaviour. You look cute, even when you piss him off so bad.

"Go run home." Satoru scoffs and leaves. Maybe he should just shorten the duration from a month to 15 days… but then, would you become the rebel he liked you to be or would you just ignore him…. contemplation, contemplation… and lots of contemplation.

[lowkeyrobin]

(Reader x dsmp/mcyt)

Reader who just got their tongue pierced and their s/o's/partners reaction?

-🌕 anon!

oooo I like this one!! I got a little handful of mcyts here so hopefully I got all the ones you were looking for! and welcome to the family 🌕 anon! you're officially my first child lmao

MCYT ; you get your tongue pierced

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, quackity, nihachu, and foolish gamers

warnings ; language, mention of pills, mentions/descriptions of oral anatomy (ik some ppl get icked when ppl talk about insides of mouths i get it)

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"woah- hey there"

you're bouncing off the walls and dying to show him

you picked the one moment he's busy with editing and you stand behind him for a solid 3 minutes before he turns around

you stick your tongue out to show off your new piercing and he exclaims a bit, his emotions in awe

he may look disgusted or cringed, but he's just surprised you're for one, not in pain, two, how good it looks on you

"Holy shit, it looks awesome y/n!"

then proceeds to ask a million questions about it

he's mostly just curious what it feels like inside your mouth and how you take care of it and eat around it

idk what to call it bc I obv don't have a tongue piercing (or any in general LMAO) but you do the little putting the piercing between your teeth trick for him and he jumps back all frightened at first

he had no idea how you did it somehow

"how the fuck did you just do that???"

you to be fair jumpscared him with it so you just kinda show him

"doesn't that hurt????"

RANBOO

"Ran, lookit!"

Bro looks up at you with your tongue out and his resting face turns into a wide smile

"Oh my God!? you actually got it? I'm so happy for you!"

wraps you in a hug

once the excitement wears off he's super paranoid about you being uncomfortable or in pain because I mean your tongue just got jabbed with a needle and now you've got a piece of metal in it

also asks questions, mostly because he also wants to understand how it feels in your mouth

"does it like... rub up on the roof of your mouth and scratch it? like, does it hurt other than the pain from the insertion?"

they LOVE when you do the little teeth trick, it's just so cool to them lmao

they'll gift you some new (high quality) jewelry as well every once in a while

he literally went online to get a customized one that says "#1 Ranboo fan" in it for you 💀💀

instead of wearing it, you turn it into a bracelet/necklace/use it as another kind of piercing that way you can actually show it off

he likes seeing you fidget around specifically w the pill ones

questions you constantly how you don't accidently swallow it or something

"wait.. do you take it out when you shower and brush your teeth? genuine question, I swear!"

again, they're happy if you're happy

they're happy seeing you be able to express yourself more clearly and they don't care what it is, they're always by your side

BADLINU

he, harry, & bill came with you for moral support

he wasn't staring down the inside of your mouth but he felt the pain with how hard you were squeezing his hand 💀💀💀💀

he looks up at Harry and Bill with pleading eyes like "Holy shit they have some grip help me"

he refuses to buy/let you buy jewelry that isn't 100% high quality

nor is he letting that shit get infected either

he always notices when you match the jewelry to your outfits or the occasion as well

like you'll be attending the streamer awards and you'll smile for a picture and he'll just see your jewelry perfectly matches your outfit

he likes buying you the fun colorful ones bc you only buy the plain silver/gold/black ones for yourself

"Wait, how do you like... get it out?"

"how much does it hurt?"

sometimes he just finds jewelry you left on the nightstand or dresser from when you have sleepovers

he'll text you like "dude you left your stuff here again I told you to check 💀"

"Shut up I'm omw back"

QUACKITY

"OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK AWESOME"

like engulfs you in a hug

instantly shows you off the the gang and shit

you basically tell chat all about the story at the piercers and he's cringing in pain all the way through

oh my God he hates the descriptions you use he swears it's just to tease him or something

also the type to custom order jewelry for you

you do order a custom one with the pixel :) tho & u wear it the most out of the other jewelry you have lmaoooo

if it was still 2019 u totally would've done the iconic quackityhq duck

when he kisses you he likes touching the piercing w his tongue just to fuck you up bc it feels weird

"HAHA L!"

genuinely concerned sometimes bc you sit there and fidget w it and zone out for a solid 5 minutes in a loud room and he's just worried you'll rip it out or smthn

also the type to wonder how you don't accidently swallow it

always makes you pose with your tongue out in pics he takes of you bc he's so in love with it

he probably loves that damn piercing more than he loves you

NIHACHU

"Oh my gosh! you look so good!"

like hugs you and spins you around

helps you take care of it and stuff, always on top making sure you're not in pain and whatnot

she'll match her snakebites with your new piercing

if you're wearing some silver jewelry, she'll change her snakebites to silver hoops or spikes etc etc

also gifts you jewelry religiously

she found some online (high quality as well 🙏🙏🙏) that perfectly match your aesthetic and never has she ever clicked add to cart so damn quick

also helps you style jewelry with outfits

she also likes the teeth trick, she likes the sound mostly of the jewelry clinking off your teeth

it's one of those like adrenaline shudder moments yk?

but she is constantly getting pictures of you showing it off/with your tongue out

like quackity, I think she likes the piercing more than she likes you LMAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

"Oh, hi- oh my God, hi!"

he's so interested just off the bat

you do the little teeth trick and he does his little giggle ❤️❤️

"that sounds so weird"

he has you show it off to his stream and he's all smiles and shit

he of course gifts you a lot of jewelry as well and always triple checks to make sure it's high quality

his Google history is just "Is _____ high quality?" "Is it safe to buy from ____?" etc

when you're making out or whatever he loves tasting the metal of the piercing on his tongue, he's addicted

always compliments you as well, always posting photos w you showing it off too

like you'll most a photo showing it off and he'll be in the comments like "marry me pls" and be fighting off your fans who are just complimenting you

like some random person will be like "omg you look so cool!!" and he'll jokingly reply with a "back off buddy they're mine 😡"

God I'm so in love with this man

[crxss01]

hello!! may i request reader and e42 miles watching a horror movie together

— Night Of Terror

pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 42!miles morales x reader

summary ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ watching a scary during the night is bad, watching a scary movie with miles is worse.

warnings ✧˖ ° cursing, miles scaring you.

m. list, main m. list.

translations ✧࿓☾ princesa: princess, bonito: handsome/pretty boy, cálmate: calm down, solo era una broma: it was just a joke/prank, todo esta bien, chiquita: everything is okay, little one.

a/n . . ◟੭ hey, sweet anon! i’m sorry for making you wait so long, but i hope this makes up for it! enjoy!

"look behind you, dumb bitch!"

at this point you were yelling at the main character because she was acting stupid, even though you knew she was going to be the final girl because of plot armor.

"princesa, watch the movie." miles told you for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"i'am watching the movie." you complained.

"then stop talking."

you ignored him. "why are you following the sound!" you started hitting the bed from the anxiety you were feeling. "turn your ass back around and run the fuck out of there!"

"mami!"

"sorry," you apologized but then the girl acted up right on that moment. "don't go in there! stop!"

"mamita, please.." miles begged.

you didn't hear him, already lost watching the movie and you regretted picking that moment to really focus in it without your talking because a jump-scare scene happened, making you jump and pull the blankets up to cover your face.

miles started laughing at your reaction acting as if he didn’t flinch as well.

“you do know i saw that, right?” you raised an eyebrow.

“you didn’t see shit.”

you rolled your eyes, and went back to watching the movie. a couple of times you would speak and miles would tell you to shut up.

that irritated you, but you sat quietly for a few minutes just watching the movie until your bladder felt like it was going to explode.

"ok, pause it." you told miles, standing up. "bathroom break."

"it just got to the good part." miles groaned.

"pause it, miles." you warned him. "and you're coming with me."

miles paused the movie and glared at you. "i ain't going with you, man up."

"what happened to me being your princess?" you questioned.

miles rolled his eyes. "fine, i'll go with you. but only because i love you too much to stay mad for long."

"why would you even be mad for? i just spoke a couple of times."

"exactly, mami." miles stood up, walking in the direction of the bathroom with you. "it's so annoying."

“you get annoyed so easily.” you shook your head and walked inside the bathroom then turned to miles. “wait right there, don’t leave me alone.”

“ok, ma.”

you closed the door, leaving it six inches ajar and wen to the toilet to do your business. after doing so you washed your hands and dried them before going to open the door only to not find miles there.

“bonito, are you serious?” you groaned, thinking he went back to the bedroom.

you made your way to the bedroom, ready to beat up miles for leaving you alone in the bathroom. “miles gonzalo morales, you little piece of—” you started to say when you opened the door only to see he wasn’t there. “miles?” you called out and even turned on the lights to check if he was under the bed or something.

“miles?” you went to the living room, looking everywhere including the kitchen but there wasn’t a sight of miles. “you better show yourself right now!”

you started to think he might have left for some prowler business after a few minutes went by.

“really, miles…” you sighed.

“mami!” you heard his voice called out, but he sounded like he was in pain.

you immediately dashed to the kitchen where his voice had come from. there he was in his prowler suit, his stomach covered in blood and his mask off.

“what the hell happened?!” you asked, kneeling beside him.

“i was— i was attacked.” he started to say, heavy breathing and voice breaking.

“by who?” you started to freak out the longer you saw the blood staining his suit.

“it was… it was..” he couldn’t even speak.

“i’m calling an ambulance.” you went to stand up but then remembered the reason why he was in this state and kneeled back down. “no ambulance, right.”

your hands were shaking as you put pressure where you thought the wound was.

“who did it?” you asked him, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“it was…” miles sighed.

“stay with me, okay?” you encouraged. “keep talking.”

“it was… la llorona.” miles bursted out laughing.

you sat there in disbelief as you watched the boy you were just worrying about, laugh like a hyena.

“wait,” you put both hand up standing up. “that’s fake?” you pointed at his stomach.

“of course, mami.” miles chuckled, wiping the corners of his eyes as he stood up as well. “as if someone could ever hurt me that much.”

the anger started to build up inside of you and you started hitting miles, yelling and cursing at him for making you worry. angry tears also fell from your eyes and you couldn’t help it because why would he scare you like that when he knew how much you worried about his prowler life.

“cálmate, princesa.” he said, grabbing your fists in his hands. “solo era una broma.”

“you scared me, miles.” you buried your head in his chest.

“i’m sorry, mami.” he apologized. “i’ll never do something like that again, i promise.” he kissed the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you.

“never, okay?” you reminded, voice muffled by his chest.

“todo está bien, chiquita.” miles said.

after a moment the tears stopped along with the shaking and miles spoke again. “you want to get back to watching the movie?”

“no.”

taglist: @anikaluv @janaeby @queerponcho @laylasbunbunny @onginlove @all444miles @banqnaz @missusmorales @kamisama1kiss @fiannee @sp1dercunt @milesandcorysupermacy @loonalockley @dxille @miguelslefteyebrow @axeoverblade @iheartcats34 (if you asked to be added to the taglist and you’re not on here is because your @ didn’t appear!)

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!

[cigarette-room]

(edit: before reading please consider donating to medical aid for Palestinians)

A celebrity fan account I used to follow until 10 minutes ago posted a long rant excusing the actor for being an Israel supporter and saying they won't give up on liking him and then happily deleted my comments, but idgaf so here they are anyway for all of you who close your eyes on the mention of your fav celebrities signing off letters in support of genocide:

Stop idolizing celebrities. Stop being a piece of shit and trying to excuse them for supporting the brutal murder of eight THOUSAND souls by carpet-bombing them. Stop trying to excuse them while they stand in support of genocide, of displacing a million and a half people from their homes, destroying around twenty out of twenty-five hospitals in Gaza, cutting food and water and electricity to people. Stop trying to jump hoops to make your favorite fucking genocide supporters sound better than they are. Stop being inhumane in the face of this situation - your silence shows and you should be embarrassed that the only time you break it is to defend these rotten individuals and their rotten views. Why are you borrowing your moral compass off of them? They can be pieces of shit, you don't have to. You don't have to be a piece of shit. You don't have to pay to watch them on a screen and you don't have to excuse them and yet you do. And while you do, you're trying to make yourself look better and you're trying to make it seem like it's not that bad. How fucking dare you. Shut up and sit down and I hope you never feel comfortable consuming media ever again.

[nerdby]

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

3/5⭐

So I read To Kill A Mockingbird -- AKA the most infamous white savior story ever written -- and it's a good book, but I personally feel like it is extremely overrated. People who love this book talk about it like it's the progressive, life changing, piece of Civil Rights literature ever written and I'm sorry but like.....What the fuck? Because it's just not -- like unless you're from like the 1930s-60s -- like I can see how it would have been considered groundbreaking back then. By extremely sheltered white people and probably no one else.

Because the main message of To Kill A Mockingbird is just.....Live and let live. Forgive and forget. Turn the other cheek. Which is Christofascist ideology used to guilt and shame minorities into putting up with Christians without saying a damn word about it. No complaints -- just shut the fuck up and take it up the ass.

And there are literally no good people in this book. Likeable, yes, but they are not good. Like Atticus Finch falls squarely into the Likeable Asshole archetype because in a town full of racists he seems to be the least racist. Like it clearly bothers him that his white friends and neighbors are assholes to Black people. Does he stand up to the racists, though? No, not really. Not unless he has to and even then he will go to his deathbed saying, "I was just doing my job."

Because at the end of the day the Finch family reputation is more important than his morals and his happiness and his children's happiness which is evidenced by Scout's entire character arc. Like so much of the story revolves around how Scout MUST learn to be a lady at all costs. FOR THE FAMILY. No one gives a shit about whether or not that's what Scout wants.

And they actually say that throughout the book.

The worst part is this book is semi-autobiographical. So some parts of it were inspired by Harper Lee's own life, and part of me wants to feel sorry for her. Until I remember how everyone says Go Set A Watchman -- the sequel to To Kill A Mockingbird -- ruins Mockingbird. Which to me translates to Watchman is possibly/probably even more of a rightwing shit rag than Mockingbird is so....Yeah.

To Kill A Mockingbird gets three out of five stars from me because despite its many, many flaws its still a charming story with some valuable life lessons. I would say this book is suitable for readers ages twelve and up, but heavily advise parents to supervise their children while they read it and actually discuss the topics of the book because there are some heavy topics in there such as racism, misogyny, ableism, and poverty. Although really you should be doing that shit in the first place, regardless of what your kid is reading.

Happy reading.

[palaceofpassion]

Morale in the White Fang has been at an all time low, to combat this Adam has instituted a new “Free Use Program” where a member of a Fang Cell will be the designated Cum Dump for everyone, changing from member to member every week. This week happens to be Ilia’s turn, how does that go for her?

Ilia struggled against her bindings, "Damn it let me go!"

Her arms bound by chains, locking her in place. Her legs held down by heavy weights that kept her from moving, and worst of all a noose wrapped itself around her ponytail forcing her head upright at all times.

"This is stupid! We're brothers and sisters in arms! We shouldn't be doing this!"

None of the individuals in the room answered her pleas. After all, why would they? Several of the members in this very room had been through the same thing, both men and women of the Fang had simply grown to accept Adam's new orders... and she hated it...

Though... it wasn't as if she was guilt free either.

She wasn't allowed to have very long to lament on that fact as a large MAN. Took his position behind her, her eyes bulged open as hot and heavy SMACK slapped against her rear.

That was when the fear began to build, panic quickly took her by surprise as she attempted, once more in futility, to wiggle free. Unfortunately only spurred her assailer into action.

"Fuck Amitola, I've been wanting a piece of this ass forever! And, fair is fair, you had your fun with a few of the ladies as it stands. So just take your lickings."

"Fuck you!" She practically hissed at him. The vitriol in her voice making it very clear that she did not want to be in this position. "I don't like men dipshit! Now let me go!"

"Hah! Well, sorry lass, but you don't get a choice in the matter, right ladies?"

Several grunts of agreement came from the peanut gallery. Several of the rather gorgeous women of the fang stared at her rather unpleased. One notable example being Deery, the poor girl unable to even meet Ilia in the eye after what she'd done to her.

Instead the man simply shook his head and lowered himself. Ilia could feel the slimey trail of his precum stain her greenish specked bottom.

"Damn! I always wondered how your skin felt! It' feels all nice and leathery, rough but also kind of soft. I like it! Going to have some REAL fun here."

"Shut up!"

Her false bravado didn't last long, the man didn't even give her the chance to struggle against him. The moment that the crown of his cock touched against her slippery wet pussy, he'd simply shoved it all in in a single punch.

"NNNGGGGGHHHH!" She tried to keep her voice down as he practically split her apart! Her ex virgin hole was now perfectly filled, a thick girthy cock pushed against her cervix the thick meaty head rubbing at the entrance as he better adjusted himself.

"Oh shit girl! Now your tight as all hell! I swear, you're trying to keep me inya aren't you?"

She would have said something, but the utter fullness of the pulsing dick kept her silent. Her legs spasmed uncontrollably as she began to lose muscle function. "Big...toobig!"

Were the only words she could formulate. What made it worse was how he refused to pull out.

Things only got worse when, "Okay! I can't wait anymore!" Another member of the fang stepped in front of her.

His pants hit the ground before he'd even approached, forcing Ilia's eyes to focus, cross-eyed as it was, upon the red veiny member in front of her. Her nose twitched as the repulsive scent that fluttered through her nostrils. Her eyes dilated in panic upon realizing that the dick before her was the man's trait. A big floppy dog cock tapped against her nose, leaving a slimy pool to drip down and streak across her lips almost making her gag in response.

"Well of course partner! Take her from the front and I got the back."

She refused to open her mouth, her dignity not allowing it. However, when his fingers tightly squeezed upon her nose, she found she could no longer hold. A quick gasp of air was all it needed for him to shove it all the way in. Her mouth expunged open as he pushed down to the knot, leaving her little room to bite down with.

Her tongue was stained with his gnarly flavors, thick globs of precum dripped upon her pink sensitive muscle, forcing her to taste him in his fullest.

Tears started to stain her eyes as the duo began to move. When one pulled out the other would push in. Their rythm began to quicken as her body, against her will, became accustomed to being violated.

The man in front of her would constantly knock against the back of her throat, forcing her tonsils to pinch against the ceiling of her throat, while the one behind her popped against her cervix.

Heavy pushes spread her insides from both the front and the back open as they battered her.

Pain however, gave way to pleasure, her body easing into a joyous orgasmic feeling.

Her insides tensed, tightening around the penile length. "Oh shit! She got tighter! I'm about to blow."

Her eyes shot open instantly.

"Same!"

"MMnNnnNnggg!"

She struggled again, 'No no no no not inside not inside not inside!'

"Oh damn! I think she wants it inside."

'Nononononononono!'

"Eyup, sounds like it."

They gave her no choice in the matter as both slammed into her at the same time. Hot jizz filled her from both the front and back, swirls of white seed flooded past her cervix, reaching and exploding into the tube behind and splashing into her womb.

The panic only grew worse as he continued to flood her, every second, every inch, she could feel his cock bulge as thick globs of seed rushed inside of her.

Her womb began to balloon as more and more spread and washed her in his scent and color, something that absolutely horrified her. Perhaps the worst of it was how she could feel her ovaries coming to life. The unused bulbs finally serving their purpose as her womb pumped the precious life nectar into them.

'Nonononono I don't want to get preggnant I don't want to get pregnant!'

If only she could scream out in agony, but the hot liquid pumping down her throat, filling her mouth and overflowing into her nose made any sort of verbal assault impossible.

Eventually, from what felt like ages, they both pulled away. Loud pops as seed splashed onto the floor, dirtying the tiny prison cell. 'At least... at least it's over.'

"Alright! Whose next?!"

[pascalscenarios]

BY THE FIRE (Frankie Morales x Reader)

By The Fire

Scenario Series

Frankie Morales x Reader

Words: 1600

Warning: swearing, sexual suggestiveness

Author’s Note: I wish Frankie Morales was real. Why do I have to be in love with FICTIONAL MEN??? - K

You had no idea what time it was. The sun was long gone. Just the stars in the sky and the bonfire that burned in front of you. They laid against the duffle bags filled with millions of dollars, exhausted from what you all had endured for the past two day.

There was a set plan to get the money and get out, but things went sideways. Originally you didn’t want to do anything with this mission, but Frankie, who you had a crush on for years, had begged you to help them. He persuaded you to help them, telling you could use the money to travel the world like you always wanted to, but you mostly the reason why you went was because of him. You couldn’t say no to those brown eyes.

You were having trouble sleeping. Your mind was keeping you awake, replaying how your guy's plan fell apart so quickly and the exchange you and Tom had on the narrow path.

Tom’s greed is what got you all into this mess. None of the guys would admit or call him out on his actions, besides Santiago, but when you did you got called a bitch.

The six of you were walking on a narrow path on the side of a mountain. You were second to last in the line. You didn’t have a mule, just carrying a single duffle. Will was in front of you, agitated at his younger brother, telling him to keep on moving.

Frankie’s Mule was getting out of control, moving around a lot and before you knew it, the path came to crumble, the mule fell off the side along with the money. Frankie almost slips, but manages to catch himself.

“Frankie!” You gasped.

“I’m fine” he says as he moves closer to the side of the mountain, staring down at the money flying below.

Benny begins to laugh.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Santiago stares at Benny “That was a living animal man”

“That could have been any one of us that went over. You’re worried about a fucking donkey?” Tom says in disbelief.  

“You need to get your shit straight man!” Snatiago yells

Tom contorts his face in confusion “What? Me”

“Yeah, you!”

“You're pointing fingers at me?” His eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You’re the reason why were in this fucking mess!”

“Oh, how the fuck is that?” Tom waits for a reason.

“Yeah you had to grab every single dollar you could get your hands on, didn’t you!”

Tom tried to put the blame on Santiago “You could've gotten Lorea two months ago! We didn’t need to be here!”

“Yeah alright!” Santiago huffs, rolling his eyes and continues down the narrow path.

“Fucking bullshit” tom mumbles

You were fed up just as much as Santiago was. “It’s not bullshit at all actually, it’s the truth” you chimed in.

“Excuse me?” Tom turns to look at you.

“Ugh, move” you said as you passed by Will and Benny to get to Tom.

“Tom, you're greedy! Your greed is what caused us to have blood on our hands and nearly die! We should have taken what we needed and left, but no! You’re the one who needed more! Also you didn’t fucking listen to Frankie when he told you we wouldn’t make it with all that money!”

“I don’t need to hear you fucking complaing when last minute you decided to come with us! Why are you here then huh? You were so against coming! We all know the reason why you’re here right now is because you’re so in love with frankie and want to fuck him! It was never about the money for you!” Tom was not holding back on you

“Oh shit” Will and Benny gasps at what Tom said

Your eyes widened, your blood was boiling. You were fuming as your chest heaved “You’re a piece of shit you know that?”

“Yeah well at least I’m not a fucking bitch like you!”

“Hey!” Frankie stands in between the both of you. He was looking at Tom.

“Enough, Tom, Shut the fuck up. We’re not picking at the fucking scab righ now, one foot in front of the other! Let’s go, jesus fucking christ!”

Tom glares at you, then grabs the reins of his mule and continues down the path.

You wanted spartan kick that fucking asshole off the cliff. It took you everything not to.

Frankie said at your name, breaking you from your twisted trance.

“You okay? Tom shouldn’t have-” He places his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m alright- just don’t” you move away from his touch. You felt like crying, but didn’t want any of them to see you cry. You refuse to let yourself cry in front of them. All the guys had heard what Tom had said. You were embarrassed enough as it was and didn’t want to talk about it. You fixed the duffle hanging on your shoulder and continued moving forward.

Once you guys stopped for the night, you barely talked, kept your distance from the guys. They all sat next to each other while you sat on the opposite side of the fire.

Once all the guys were asleep you let yourself silently cry. You laid against a duffle bag, watching the fire, as the tears streamed down your face. You were scared, frustrated, embarrassed. You never should have come. You sit up, and bring your knees to your chest. You sniffled, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your jacket.

Frankie stirred awake as he heard the sound of soft sobs. He placed both hands on the ground as he slightly sat himself up, better supporting himself against the boulder he was learning on. He sees you staring at the fire, the glow of the flames illuminating you. He could see your tears stained face.  

“Hey” you hear someone whisper.

You jump slightly, noticing Frankie was awake. You quickly wiped your tears away. You didn’t want him to see you cry.

“Are you- No, no don’t cry” he says softly.

But saying that just made you silent sob harder. Your lips were trembling. You got a lump in your throat, that tight and dry feeling.

He slowly gets up, grabbin duffle bags. He walks over to you, dropping the next to yours and sets himself down beside you.

“Talk to me” Frankie says

You shake your head no. You remain silent. He knew you were scared. He could read you like a book. You turned your body, so you didn’t have to look at him

“Look at me”

You ignored him.

“Baby, look at me”

You turn to face him. The back of his hand caresses your face and wipes your tears away. You close your eyes feeling his touch, your heart pounding against his chest. His hand travels to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. He places his lips on your forehead. You melt into his chest and snuggle in close. His hands move up to stroke your hair. Your breathing slowly starts to regulate as you begin to relax into him.

“It’s okay”

The two of you laid in silence for a few moments.

“I’m scared too,” he admits. “I hate how sideways this whole thing got, what we’ve done to survive..my biggest regret is dragging you into this mess. I should have begged you to come-” he says, continuing to play with your hair.

“It’s not your fault” you move your head from his chest.

“I-I’m the one that made the choice to come...and what Tom said- about me-”

“Is that really how you feel?...About me?”

You could have lied and told him no, but what was the point?

“...Yes” you whispered “..I wish he wouldn’t have said how he did but yes-”

“I love you” Frankie cuts you off. “I should have told you this a long time ago, but after everything we’ve been through on this mission- almost dying, I’ve realized lifes too short...I love you”

You two state deeply into each other’s eyes. His chest began to heave. He leans in to give you a kiss. He pulls away, looking at you again, making sure you were okay with him kissing you. You place your arms around his neck, pulling him in again.

The kiss started off slow, but soon it turned into hunger, desperation, and need. He monvers you so your back is toward the duffles. He pushes his weight on you, causing you to lean back. He kisses you hard causing you to moan out his name.

“Frankie-” you sign out. He smiles, moving on to kiss your neck.

“Frankie-Frankie wait-” you giggle

“What?” he chuckles looking down at you.

“As much as I would to continue, we can’t” you muttered, putting a piece of his hair behind his ear “No here...and especially not now”

Reality sets back in for Frankie “I forgot where we were for a moment” he rolls to sit beside you.

“So did I” you rested your head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours and you intertwined your fingers together.

“I wanna go home”

“We will- We’re gonna make it out of here” he says. “as long as we stick together”. He kisses the top of your head.

“And when we get home, I’m all yours...We should rest”

“Goodnight, Frankie”

“Goodnight”

You closed your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile as you laid in his arms by the fire.

MT: @icanbeyourjedi @sara-alonso​@greeneyedblondie44 @hb8301 @alberta-sunrise @spacenerdpascal @ryleyrooroo @reader-s-cantina @nikkixostan

[kendallsdreamsong]

"come on, nate, we should be good people … wouldnt it be nice to wake up in the morning and not feel like a fucking piece of shit?" so this is shiv, trying to make this decision to be a good person, bc she Knows she isnt, but of course she keeps being a bad person with nate, bc she already feels like a piece of shit and she already expects herself to keep going back to that and its who she decides she has to be. later on she'll shut down and feign ignorance to how deeply fucked up the company and her whole life is, but for now she can be open and honest and say "im a fucking piece of shit. i dont want to be, but i am."

"you tell yourself you're a good person but you're not a good person" reflects more on kendall than it does shiv i think, bc almost immediately after this he says "im the real you", which can be read as him saying "im the Actually good version of you", but he also knows this not to be true… etc etc. but it also totally Does reflect on shiv, because shes so wrapped up in making other people Think shes a good person, and making other people think she thinks shes a good person, but the honesty we saw with nate earlier shows that deep down she does know and conceptualize her standing within the world

"oh, look, shiv, do you think that stealing is what good people do? stealing? cheating at monopoly?" this is objectively silly and thats the point, how roman makes jokes out of how he actually feels to cover it up, ugh i dont have to go through all of this just look at the tvtropes page for the sad clown trope and you'll get the idea. in any case, shiv actually said, "i was only stealing so i could win", in this case saying "i did what i had to to win dads affection" and roman fired back with what he perceived to be a weak point, shivs morality. also roman feels like something was taken from him here, might have something to do with how he brings up what shiv did with gerri -- see romans issues with sexuality and further analysis of specifically the revocation of agency(? idrk if thats the word im looking for) in his sexuality. Or something

"greg, dont be an asshole, you dont have principles" is a comedic sort of juxtaposition; "dont be an asshole" and "you dont have principles" are, like, opposites, since not being an asshole implies having some principles. what tom is demanding here is a double standard and loyalty to a class which, for a long time, greg has not belonged to. essentially hes trying to make sure greg, known slimy bitch, wont betray him, aka work for toms gain, which in itself calls back to that theme of rich entitlement, that people in the upper class have a simultaneous philosophy of "make your own fucking pile" and work solely for ur own best interest, but expect those around you to serve you. thats where logan excels, he understands that everyone else has the same philosophy he does and distrusts them as a result

"i cleaned up your mess … and im a bad person?" again, this calls back to this idea of pure loyalty to the upper class. since the lower class isnt "real", being horrible to them and/or covering up that behavior is okay, justified even. but to be part of the upper class, it is Good to do whatever nasty stuff you have to do to beat someone else. being good, then, isnt about morality, its about power, maybe. logan has cleaned up kendalls mess, and hes supposedly a good person for it. but thats backwards, covering up the truth of someones death to blackmail ur son isnt (morally) good behavior. and that is, at this point, the language that kendall is speaking. logan isnt speaking the same language

"i dont know. im not a good person. … im bad" this is pretty obvious. kendalls been ruminating in the fact that hes a horrible person for the past 2 seasons and now he says it outright. something something black and white thinking

"do you want a deal with the devil?" literally anything i say about this interaction has already been said im moving on

"lifes not knights on a horseback. its a number on a piece of paper its a fight for the knife in the mud." see everything i said earlier about logan speaking the language of power, not morality. "lifes not knights on a horseback" is ofc about not saving people and making ur own pile etc. the iconography is particularly romantic (er, anti-romantic), which is interesting considering logans many weird fucked up relationships with various women. its also associated with medieval times, which. i dont know if that means anything, usually if succession is referencing history its about greek/roman history, but. yknow. "its a number on a piece of paper" references business ofc and with "its a fight for a knife in the mud" im gonna go out on a limb and say this is referencing boar on the floor? pigs are associated with mud, and boar in the floor was something about class struggle. Uh. ya

^^^ im saying so many words i dont know if any of them make sense. i should goooo do my homework Ya. then take a shower and continue my rewatch then go beddy bye

[fratboykate]

i just don't understand the chokehold di*ney/Marv*l movies have on people. It's so infuriating because you'll see this whole thing one week where everyone realizes just how full of shit the studios are, the military propaganda backing them, and how none of their favs are as "uwu so smol and innocent" as they seem ( and are, in fact, complicit with a lot of the propaganda). And then, the next week, a new, shitty M*U movie or show will drop, with horrible plots and every single line overly witty in the worse way possible, and all that critical thinking that existed for a week will be out the window. And if you bring up these points again, there's the "let people enjoy things!!!" excuse. And not only that, people will hail this poorly written media as gospel and how it's the most groundbreaking shit out there when there's so many better written, better produced shows that these powerhit blockbuster movies overshadow. I just blatantly hate how year after year, month after month, they're dropping new things, full of crap, getting everyone all stirred up. Like, I promise y'all that disney is not worth defending and your favs don't need you to lay your life down for things. People can enjoy media, but at least be aware of the kind of shit that's backing it, and at the very very least, at least try to pirate it. Piracy won't curb the interest, but at least it can affect sales. Idk man I'm just pissed at how such a big monopoly in the entertainment industry these days is controlled by like 3 corporations and how no one seems critical or concerned about that anymore. You're one of the few blogs I see that don't go back on their words and resolutely understands the dislike for mcu and d*sney

I knew shit was going to go from bad to worse the moment they announced the streamer. I just knew it. Because instead of having to battle this shit 3-4 times a year when big movies dropped it was going to be at least once a month when a new show premiered. It's not a "let people enjoy things" it's that none of you CAN *simply* enjoy things anymore.

People these days have married not just their entire beings but moral codes to pieces of media/the companies behind them and the celebrities that star in those things. That means that now if and when you make the most basic criticism of said pieces of media then - in turn - you must obviously also be criticizing the fan as a person. At least that's what it feels to them because they've made that shit such an integral part of who they are that it becomes an all encompassing attack on them and what they morally stand for. Case in point: "Oh you ship, Yelena with Kate ergo you hate ace people." Like TAKE A FUCKING NAP.

I'm over here enjoying the shit out of my gay ship and I didn't put a dime in Disney's pocket. It is possible to do both. No one is telling you to become a hermit. It's impossible to do so in this day and age. I'm not even asking you to not engage completely, all I'm saying is don't fucking give them money or engage in ways that generate money for them. Don't follow them on official social media accounts. Don't subscribe to their platforms. Don't buy their merch. Don't go see their shit in theaters. Pirate pirate pirate. You can still get all the enjoyment out of watching the thing without fucking feeding the monopoly.

Do you even understand what Disney did to all the Fox properties after they bought Fox? Disney killed projects Fox had been developing for yearsssss. Of all budget sizes. Disney decimated the Fox development slate. Which fine, happens on all mergers, but some of this shit was deliberate and malicious. And the stuff that has made it to release people in the industry talk about how different it is handled from the Disney properties. They purposefully bungle Fox releases/Fox IP so they don't compete with Disney releases. Disney destroyed pretty much all of the Fox subsidiaries. Disney basically box Fox to shut it down. The family friendly company fired most of the Fox employees without warning after they had basically come short of promising that they wouldn't make any immediate or major changes. Just one morning like "Oh yeah...you don't have a job now btw." Blindsided people who had been at Fox for 10, 15, 20 years. Not even integrated them to Disney which they could've done. Fired from one day to the next. Hundreds of people. Entire departments at a time. Disney fucking sucks dude. In so many ways and people who don't see it from the inside like us who work on this shit don't even know. They want to control it all and at this rate in a decade or two, who knows if they won't. It'll be Netflix, Disney, and Amazon left standing lol. I want to hear y'all complaining when Disney and Amazon are making all your content. What then? Literally...what then?

This is where I want you to start using your supposed big brains. Are Disney and Amazon (or any other big conglomerate) the people you REALLY want being in charge of making decisions of what diverse shows make it to air? Because, trust me, as someone who knows what the development process is like...they think about business first and your feelings second. If that shit isn't going to sell in China or XYZ territory that is homophobic/racist/sexist/whatever other -ist or -bic they're not going to do it. The more you guys push to keep supporting conglomerates and further vertical integration happens the less risk there is involved. These companies don't take risks. They don't make the shows that tell the diverse stories about the queer disabled characters in love or the ace lead or the minority thing. That doesn't sell in all markets. That's not "four quadrant". That's not "The Disney Brand^TM". But that hegemony and homogeneity is what we're veering towards with this fucking unwavering fealty you guys seem to have for this company now. It's a cult at this point.

Take a step back and look at what you're doing and what you're supporting but stick with your conviction instead of getting wooed by the next big trailer for a change because y'all are as fickle and have spines as hard as spaghetti in hot water.

[yoursinfulurges]

Toxin and Venom

Slight Dark!Peter Parker x Dark!Reader

Description:

In which a seemingly loving relationship appears greater than it is...

There was something rather terrible about this young man's naive exterior. Though nobody could pinpoint where exactly the dreadfulness laid. His eyes shined a little too brightly, and his words were coated in thick sugar, enough to appear disingenuous to the skillfully trained ears. But there hidden behind is smile concealed the sinister morals of a true manipulator.

Oh' but she was no better herself, twisting words to favour her narrative. Playing as if she was nothing more than a meek little prey.

Warnings: pure angst with an underlining layer of toxicity.

Disclaimer: This is a REWRITE of one of my old stories dated back to a year ago, so if it sounds familiar that is why. This story was originally written for Jung Jaehyun from NCT but seeing as though I've fallen out of love with kpop at the moment, I wanted to repurpose it for my new followers that I've harbored since The Venom Within, as I'm very proud of the way it was written and concluded that I wanted to share with you all. I did improve and change quite a lot so you won't be reading the exact same story and I decided to add a twist to it.

Note: This is more so a college au so the fact that Peter is Spiderman is insignificant...

Word Count: 4.k

_____________

Your boyfriend, Peter, had always been the most kind and caring person you knew. Ever since you met him, and even after months of dating, he still acted like the bashful, kind Disney prince you took him for. Only treating you with nothing but respect and admiration; you often wondered if this boy was even capable of making an insult, or had a bad bone in his body. Fore he acts way too nice and sweet for his own good. Controlling at times but it was with all good intentions...

Originally, you thought the kind gestures and lovely sweet talking was his way of subtly flirting, but after years of dating him, you came to the realization that it was just simply him. Peter didn't need to pretend to be kind and sweet like other guys; given that it was like second nature for him. You loved the boy to death. He showered you with so much love, spoiled you with affection. Treated you like his queen; His shining jewel. Out of the two years that you'd been together, not once has he wronged you.

    That is, up until this exact moment...

You stand there in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your cheeks. At this point you had stopped listening to what he was saying. In fear that if you continued to listen to his harsh words, more of your love would begin to fleet away, and you couldn't afford to lose any more. Despite of all your excessive yelling, you loved Peter. And he meant so much to you. But seeing him in this state, angry and hostile, attacking you viciously with his words, you began to question your future with him.

You couldn't quite fathom what brought on this newfound aggression in your relationship. Though, you had a slight seeking suspicion that it was from all the post-exam stress you both had to endure. Weeks upon weeks of studying and sleepless nights finally took its toll on the both of you. Thus bringing you to this exact moment in time. The once loving home corrupted by the harsh spoken words that fell from both of your lips. Anger and aggression filling the room, space welcoming the negativity with open arms. You had both tainted it...

That was not the boy you fell in love with, but instead somebody meaner, a-kind to venom...

Then again, you weren't a saint yourself either, words you wouldn't have ever thought of saying spilled out of your mouth like toxin. You needed to do something fast to mend your relationship back together...

The mere thought of breaking up with the man hurts you so dearly. You just wanted your loving boyfriend back from what ever abyss he dissapeared off to. Typically your fights never lasted this long, but this one proved to be quite challenging. You just wanted him to stop yelling. But in fear of the unthinkable outcome of your protest, you kept shut and held onto the remaining pieces of your heart. You knew for a fact that Peter would never dear to lay a hand on you, so you tried very desperately to push those thoughts aside. However, his following statements made both tasks very difficult. It was as if he was challenging your composure. Like he wanted the flood gates broken.

Like he wanted you to cave in to the malicious voice whispering in your ear...

His words could've very well be from all the stress, ..or pent up insults and remarks that he'd been silently keeping in. You had no way of telling. You prayed and hoped that it was the first one rather than the assuming latter. Because maybe then, you would consider forgiving him. Even though the words punctured you like bullets, penetrating your inner layers and hurting you in more ways than one. This was not your Peter... You questioned the morals behind his words, were they intended to hurt you, or was it just in the heat of the moment. Regardless, you knew that his words would be something that lingered on forever in your head.

"I don't even know why I stayed this long with you, honestly! What do I even see in you! Stop being so unreasonable! You're easily replaceable, so i don't see why you're acting so high and mighty. News flash y/n, i could do a lot better!"

         And there it was...

His current state and demeanor rivalled that of which the one you used to know. The soft spoken, kind, sweet, shy Peter. The one that still plays with legos despite being nineteen years old. You'd give anything to have him back...

You always knew that Peter could do better, but hearing this from him was a lot different than you saying it to yourself in your head. Before you had started dating you knew he had a chance with Michelle. She was a very pretty girl that went to your university, she was also Peter's chem partner... Michelle was nice, smart, and talented. You were very aware of the little 'thing' they had going on. So to your surprise, when you heard rumors of a certain Peter Parker, looking to ask you out, you almost didn't believe. Hell, you laughed straight into Brad's face and told him he was delusional. If only a hesitant, blush faced Peter wasn't stood right behind you to prove you wrong.

Ever since that day, you questioned Peter's choice. Why did he choose you, when he could've had a chance with Michelle? Someone he was more compatible with... You figured that he saw something special in you that nobody else did. Though, his previous statement proves you wrong and tells you that he doesn't even know why he gave you a chance. You're at a drift, not knowing where this relationship is headed, or where to stand. Knowing that you were replaceable to Peter weakens you. Were you really that insignificant to him? Were you a chore to be around? If so then why did he stay for two years? All these questions ran through your mind as you're frozen in a state of shock. How do you follow such a thing?

You stand silently, wails threatening to break free from your lips, as you shake. Instantly covering your mouth with your palm. You watch as he screamed at you more, words blocked out by the ringing in your ears. Truthfully, you were glad you couldn't hear his words, not knowing how to reciprocate to any more of his personal attacks.

The familiar feeling of despair began to conjure in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest began to focus on your beating heart, constricting you like a boa preying on its meal. Everything around you became a hazy blur as the non stop ringing became more prominent. The cause being your angry boyfriend and his heart-wrenching words. Jolts of anxiety began to climb up from your figure tips, like a thousand spiders crawling on your skin. A feeling you know all too well crept up from behind you. You were beginning to feel frantic and scared, as your breathing became unstable.

You were becoming erratic, desperate to end the fight and be in his arms again.

"What!? Huh, not gonna clap back with some snarky remark. Admit it, you know im right!"

Peter's face was a striking shade of scarlet while he paced back and forth, hands finding themselves tangled in his hair as he mumbled inaudible words. His hair, you remember running your hands through his curly, brown locks this morning when you woke up. Oh, how happy and blissful you both were twelve hours prior to this moment. You both were so content and hopeful with the prospect of your relationship. Being able to finally spend time with each other after a stressful week. Originally, you had planned a date night with Peter. But things began to make a turn for the worse when he began to insult every little thing you did. Now here you were, an hour and forty-five minutes late for your reservations.

A taste for bitterness began to fill your mouth, as your insides churned. Waves of sadness and despair hit you like a tsunami. You suddenly couldn't stand the thought of staying in the same room as Peter. Let alone sleeping in one. Fore his words had impacted you like an arrow through the heart. You felt sick, disgusted, vulnerable, and above all else, hurt.

"God, you're such a fucking bitch sometimes!" Peter spat, but soon after stopped, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. Your once, fuming and aggressive facade was replaced with a much more subdued, fragile, hurt exterior, mirroring how you felt inside. You had given up. The bandage that held your heart together snapped.

You looked up at him, hurt written all over your face. Instantly, Peter rushed your way. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, apologize for calling you a bitch. But stopped when you held your hand out and shook your head, a sob erupting from your mouth. Suddenly, all the hurtful things Peter said rang through his own head.

Oh...

Shit!

"Baby, I-" He started, not knowing how to follow. His mouth suddenly became dry, letting out a sigh of regret. Voice coming out weak and pained. His chest tightening at the sight of what he has done to you. No no no no no no.... Peter knew you weren't the type to forgive and forget. Even if you both manage to somehow recover from this, he knew that his words would always be in your head. You would constantly doubt yourself and his transparency, thinking if it was all an act.

Regret began to eat away at him once again when he noticed your uneven breathing. Another punch in his gut when he took note of your shaking. Peter's eyes quickly darted to yours, his heart breaking when he saw the amount of fear in them. He was uncertain if you were scared of him or your emotions. He wanted it to be the second one. Peter never wanted you to see him in that light. Yet here you were, having an anxiety attack because of him...

He knew that feeling all too well, having suffered from anxiety of his own, but the fact that he was the one to force you into that state shattered him..

"Don't call me that...." You spat coldy, backing away slowly into your shared bedroom. Making sure he didn't follow and locking the door. Once in the cozy room, you sob like la llorona conveying grief. You couldn't bear to see all the happy pictures of you two, when he said so himself, you're nothing special to him. Without thinking, you began to rip off every Polaroid, framed pictures, and drawings from the walls. Not caring of ripping them. You threw them all on the floor. Your vision becoming clouded by tears as you sob. Ruining the white fabric of your oversized sweater with your makeup contaminated tears.

Your body halts, the last remaining picture was of the both of you on your first date. You always considered that day as the happiest moment of your life. But now knowing that you're just a pit stop in Peter's life, the memory manifests into something much darker than obsidian.

You inhale as you looked at the picture one more time. It was you kissing Peter on the cheek. He donned a beautiful cheshire smile, his freckles displaying proudly under the sunlight. He wore a red, hooded sweatshirt with his hero, Iron man's logo depicted on the top right corner. You always love it when he wore sweaters, especially that one. You remembered every emotion you felt as the picture was being taken. Even if you didn't, your expression held it all. You radiated happiness as the butterflies in your stomach became restless. You were so happy...

You sob lightly, your thumb caressing his face as you looked fondly at the picture. Suddenly, words that fell from his mouth earlier replayed in your head. He had purposely attacked your deepest insecurities. Jabbed and taunted you. The Peter you knew would never result to something so cruel and petty. Without putting much thought into it, you began to take the picture out of its frame.

Your ears perking up when you hear the familiar sound of the lock being picked. The jiggling of the doorknob was something you grew accustomed to. Having locked yourselves out of the bedroom on more than one occasion....

Taking one final breath, you rip the picture in two and retreated into the master bathroom. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, all hell broke loose. As if it couldn't have gotten worse alright. Your wails grew louder and more repetitive that you were being to sound like a banshee, mourning for her decaying heart. Eventually, you found yourself curled up in the bathtub, suppressing your cries into your knees as you lowered your head.

Peter finally succeeds in picking the lock, after what seemed like hours, and once he creaked opened the door of your shared bedroom, his heart broke in two. Parts of him began to deteriorate, he wished he had never said those hurtful things. He felt numb and out of touch with reality, sensing his anxiety looming over his shoulder. Peter knew that one of your biggest insecurities was never meaning much to somebody. And that weren't fond of feeling worthless and neglected. He knew your background and upbringing well enough to know just how much you disliked being treated as such.

All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away. A pool of sadness brimmed his eyes as he evaluates the damage. From one corner of the room to the other, pictures were left scattered and discarded. The framed drawings of him that you illustrated, sat on the floor of your bedroom, frame cracked and shattered. The Polaroids he held ever so dearly to his heart, littered the bed and floor. He broke down in tears when he sees the torn picture of you both.

How could you vandalize such a treasured memory. But then again, how could he hurt the most precious thing in his life. Seeing the picture ripped apart like this, he knew that somehow he affected your perspective on this whole relationship. His previous words had tainted such beloved memories, and twisted them to seem like nothing more than a one-sided love. He made you question whether he truly loved you or not. Suddenly the realization kicked in, and it kicked in hard. A tsunami of guilt and regret pierced through is heart. His insides churned and it suddenly became very hard to breathe. He suddenly became really aware of how dire this situation was. His following actions may break your relationship if he didn't act wisely.

Peter bends down to hold your piece of the puzzle, a river flow of heart ache cascading down his cheeks, wetting the captured image of you. Your sobs, which had begun to sound like cries of help, due to lack of air, rang threw Peter's ears. Suddenly he grew extremely concerned and rushed to the door, dropping your image.

Immediately, you stop when you heard soft knocks coming from the other end of the door, which was soon followed by cries and sniffling sounds.

"Baby, open the door!" You don't comply with his words and stayed seated in your place, hugging your knees tighter.

"W-what are you gonna do if i don't? Pick the lock and violate my privacy! Just go away P-peter! W-why don't you go find another girl to replace me, because apparently, i-i mean nothing to you!" Screaming at the inanimate door, or more so the person behind it, as you let out a cut short wail. You hated yourself for how weak and broken you sounded. Wishing, you could drown out his stupid words that had already engraved itself deep in your brain.

"Y-you said s-so yourself! I'm easily replaceable! I-if i had known that this relationship was just gonna be one sided then i would've never wasted my time!" Apparent in your tone and words how truly distraught you were, Peter cried harder, cold sweats engulfing his body. He winced at the thought of how broken you were. It only lead him to wonder, what exactly happened and what brought on this fight. Sounding more so a statement rather than a question in his head.

He parted his lips softly, a small whimpering sigh rolling off his tongue.

"Please y/n, just open the door. I-i just want to see you. Please... I-I need to know that you're okay...." his words laced with mixed emotions, such as sorrow and remorse. Despite his current emotional state, Peter's stature looked anything else but composed. God, he was freaking out..

Incoherently mumbling a soft 'please' as he laid his forehead onto the wood door. His hand resting above his head, fist balled tightly, as if ready to start pounding. He was desperate, eyes screwing shut tightly causing a flow of tears to glide down his cheeks. Peter's jaw clenched tightly in frustration, as he beat himself over and over again for saying such things.

After much hesitance, you stood up and made your way to the door. Peter hears the small shuffle and quickly straightens himself out. After seconds of hovering your hand over the knob, you twist it open, instantly unlocking itself and setting free all the pent up emotions. You crack open the door, almost immediately, Peter rushes in and hugs you.

You don't return the hug, silently stiffening in his arms. At that moment, the last few bits of composure you had built back up snaps loose. You become a crying mess in Peter's arms. Feelings of unmeasurable sadness cascade down your cheeks, onto his black long sleeve shirt. You try and push him away, but fail due to his strength. His muscular arms constricting you as if you would fade away.

"Listen to me please." He says softly, tears lightly streaming down his cheeks, though, not to the caliber of yours.

You sniffle lightly, thrashing in his arms. Though, it was no use, his hold was so secure that no amount of resistance would break you free. So, you could do nothing else but endure what he has to say.

"I'm sorry-

Sorry doesn't fix anything Peter, it's just a word!" The teary-eyed male hissed at your words. The amount of hurt and venom your tone held was enough to make his jaw clench and his hold to tighten.

"I know it doesn't, but it's a start. L-look, i didn't mean to say that. I don't know what came over me, or what caused me to say those things. But what i do know is that they were a hundred percent untrue. And i want you to know that..." He pauses briefly to wipe away your tears with his thumb. Dipping his head into the crook of your neck. He took in your floral scent, hoping it would help him regain composure. You feel a tug on your heart at how utterly hurt and small he sounded.

"I love you with all my heart, and that you are the most unique girl I've ever met... If anything i don't know how i even managed to get a girlfriend as beautiful and amazing as you..... Wanna know why I'm with you?" You nod lightly into his chest. His hold readjust itself as he lays his head above yours. Almost content with your slight gesture, but he needed to be sure you were happy.

"It's because you accept me for who i am. You don't pressure me to be perfect all the time, you welcome my flaws with open arms; don't expect anything from me and shower me with so much love everyday... I want you to know that i could never replace you, not that i would ever want to. How did i ever get so lucky... Please y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life.... I-i can't loose you too..." Peter couldn't fathom a future with out you in it. He grew frantic, thinking that this day could be the last together. And that there would be a slight chance that you didn't want to forgive him again. He couldn't let that happen...

"Please say something...." He sighed whilst tears brimmed his eyes, taking your tightening hold on his shirt to keep moving forward.

"Do you remember when we first started dating, that night i texted you that i was frustrated and my anxiety was acting up... And you came over in a heart beat, even though you lived fifteen minutes away... Y-you told me to let it all out, and i cried in your arms for an hour, complaining about everything. I felt so ashamed for crying in front of you, but you told me that i was so brave for accepting my feelings... I know what i said must've hurt you a lot, but I'll do better... I'm sorry for triggering you like that." Peter's tone was barely above whisper, and if he hadn't have said it directly above your ear, you would've missed it. There he was... your Peter....

You thought back to the said memory and smiled fondly, that was the night you both realized that you wanted a more serious title on your relationship. Finally labeling each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. You thought back to all the happy memories you both shared and confirmed that a silly little fight wouldn't get the best of you. Yes, his words might've hurt, but his actions now out ways all of his petty insults. You give into your flourishing heart and forgive him.

Backing away from his chest lightly, you look up at him, gasping slightly at his blood shot eyes. You hesitatly reach up to cup both of his cheeks. Wiping away the remaining tears that streamed down his face. He smiled lightly and leaned into your touch, taking one of your hands in his and place a soft, delicate kiss on it.

"We'll be okay...." You smiled at his comforting words before planting a passionate, loving kiss on his lips. Peter smiled lightly before taking your wrist on his hold and guiding them to wrap around his neck. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer by your waist.

It was then that he realized that he wanted you to be the only women in his life. And that he wanted nobody else. Suddenly feeling an overly compelling urge in his heart to make up for his actions overcomes him. He was determined to trap you in his web of love again. He couldn't loose you too...

You smile in content, 

          portraying the victim always worked...

'Indeed, we'll be just fine.....'

Perhaps they were both awful people, fooling each other with the reality they both created. But it was done with the intent of love, sick twisted love... He was possessive and she was insecure. And together they were toxin and venom... God forbid anything that tries to get in between them...

_____________

End Note:

For those that don't understand, take notice in Peter's words and how drastically different they are from when he was mad to when he was apologizing. Sweet at first glance but if you really dig deep you'd notice how sugar coated everything seemed, like he's saying what you want to hear. And as for the Reader, I purposely left out how much she contributed to the fight in the beginning to make it seem as though she was the victim, when in reality she was also at fault. The anxiety aspect of this story was very much 'real' since I described what it felt like for me and I wanted her to suffer from anxiety yet have something be a little off. Now, I'm not claiming that the bedroom part was a whole scene to feed her victim persona, but that's up to how you want to view it. This story is subjective and can be taken however way you want to.

[kookfond]

mine

|| jjk!jock x popular!oc kth!goldenboy x popular!oc

Summary: You have both Taehyung and Jungkook wrapped around your perfectly manicured finger. The two most popular boys are in love with you, what more can you ask for? Sex, perfect boyfriend, hot side piece, parties every night etc. Everything in your life was glorious, until she came along and destroyed your perfect little world. A modern high school love story gone to absolute shit after you wake up in someone else’s blood.

Genre: angst, smut, mystery

Warnings: smut, grinding/humping, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it fellas), blowjob, cheating, main character is kinda a bitch lol, no morals lol, murder, blood

"Where are we going?"

In a state of panic he runs his hands through his hair. "To hide the fucking body!" He shouts at me. He's never yelled at me like this.

I'm a mess, my perfectly curled hair was now messed up and drenched in blood, along with my Chanel dress, my overly expensive shoes...everything on my body was soaked in blood.

I didn't think the night would end this way. If I'd known I would never have left my house. I hiccup and cover my mouth, I know I'm not helping but I can't control my sobbing.

"Jesus Christ y/n stop crying, I know your freaking out, but so are we, how many times do I have to tell you" he says in a soft tone. I know he's trying to calm me down, I wish it would work.

"We're in this together"

3 weeks ago

"Get off my desk y/n, the teachers gonna be back any minute!"

"Calm down Tae, what? Scared of a teacher?" You say grabbing the pen out of his hand, he gets up, standing in between your legs.

You lean back waving your hands in an attempt to keep the pen out of his reach, unsuccessful, he grabs the pen and sits down.

If there's one thing that you'll never get sick of doing, it's teasing Taehyung.

You swiftly sit back up with a taunting look on your face "I'll get you, beware tae" you say trying to sound spooky but you fail to keep a straight face, you and Taehyung burst out into laughter.

Just as the two of you are coming down from your laughter the door opens making a creaking noise that feels almost eerie, as the teacher walks in her eyes shoot daggers at you.

"Ms. Kim, just because I step away for a couple of minutes does not mean you can be disruptive, I expect you to stay seated in your desk when I step away. Go sit down." Your teacher explains sternly causing the entire class to look at you.

You hear giggling coming from the other side of the room. "Shut up Jungkook" you say in a voice that only tae can hear causing him to put his hand over his mouth to hide his smile."Ms. Lee I was simply stretching my legs, you wouldn't want my legs to cramp now would you?”

"I have eyes and there's not much stretching going on there y/n, now get off of Taehyungs desk and go back to your seat" you can tell the teachers starting to get annoyed which only makes you want to do one thing.

You lean over placing a soft kiss on Taehyungs lips. "Okay, sorry for being disrespectful" you say with a smirk and bowing almost mockingly.

The teacher looks at you in pure shock "Ms. Kim I do not tolerate pda in my classroom, unless you want to go to the office I suggest you take a seat!"

"You know I could actually use the walk, thanks Joy!" You say basically skipping out of class. The teacher looks at you with big eyes due to the fact that you addressed her by her first name. Shocking yet not surprising.

Now that you're taking your daily office trip, well not daily, maybe every other day? You hear sobbing coming from the girls bathroom, you can't help but be curious, you head towards the noise.

Maybe it's the fact that you're bored out of your mind or maybe it's the fact that you just wanna hear the latest gossip. Usually if you hear a weird noise coming from the girls bathroom in the middle of second period, you steer clear.

Once at the girls bathroom, you open the door. Only to see a girl sitting on the floor curled up into a ball. To be honest you couldn't care less that this random girl was crying, you just made it your high school mission to know what's going on with everyone at all times.

After you realize that you've never seen this girl before, you try to slowly slip out of the bathroom without the girl seeing you but with your luck she immediately spots you.

"Y/n?"

Shit

" I didn't think anyone was in here-

She cuts you off before you can finish your sentence " how do you do it? You don't even try and everyone loves you, I try so hard and yet the guy I've been pining after for years doesn't even know my name" the girl explains in between sniffles.

"That's upsetting to hear, gotta go!" You say with a fake smile.

"Wait, what can I do. I feel like there's nothing left for me to try" she blows her nose into her tissue making you cringe in disgust.

"You've tried everything?" You look her up and down slowly.

"Have you really?" You finish with a scoff.

Looking at the girl anyone can tell she's not the brightest diamond in the bunch. You've always thought self care was the most important thing in life. It's not hard to be attractive, if you know how to properly dress and groom yourself anyone can be attractive.

Being attractive is a lot more than physical appearance, its about confidence. And this girl reeks of insecurity, anyone with eyes can see she hates herself. Anyone who wears pigtails at 17 hates themselves.

The girl is wearing the usual school uniform but somehow makes it look... bad. It looks a lot different on you than it does her, it fits you in all the right places giving you a flattering look, your skirt is slightly rolled up giving people a better look at your toned legs. Not to mention the amount of jewelry you added to spice it up. There's no personality in her uniform, she simply wore it. No no the uniform is wearing her.

No makeup and under eye circles that almost look like black eyes, jeez I'm aware how little sleep high school students get but it looks like she hasn't slept for days.

"I know I'm not the prettiest girl at school, but don't I deserve love to?" She breaks down once again. You feel yourself getting annoyed, it's obvious you don't want to talk to her but yet she won't shut up.

You make eye contact with the girl and after a few seconds you turn around and head towards the door, after exiting the bathroom you roll your eyes.

So annoying

You know it's an asshole move to simply ignore somebody, especially somebody in that state but you were bored, you had to entertain yourself with something else.

The school bell rings, and you make your way back to the classroom to grab your things.

You strut down the hallway, head held high, short skirt showing off your beautiful tan legs. Your light brown hair swaying along with your hips, full lips paired with upturned eyes. People can't help but stare, and you can't blame them.

You're beautiful

All of the sudden you feel someone link arms with you, shocked, you look over at the person and roll your eyes, pushing them away from you.

"Get away from me Eunwoo"

"Come on y/n you love being around me"

"No one likes being around you" you say giving him a fake smile

He chuckles "ouch y/n you know how to hit a guy where it hurts" he says putting his hand on his heart as a joking way of saying "you hurt me"

You chuckle and shake your head at how dumb he is. Contrary to public belief you like Eunwoo, you've known him forever. He's always been very playful with you and you love to tease him. If some one else were to see the two of you interact they'd think you did not like him whatsoever, but you and Eunwoo both know that you guys are close friends.

"So you're coming to my party next week, right? " your legendary end of the year party!?" You say turning fully towards him adding in a little hop to show just how excited you were. "Um yea?" He says with a confused look in his eyes, he's never seen you excited about something he's said.

"I'm good" you say nonchalantly, your smile immediately dropping. Eunwoo throws his head back laughing. "Come on, you know it's not a party without Kim y/n" he says jokingly poking your stomach causing you to flinch.

"If Tae decides to go so will I" you part ways and Eunwoo gives you an understanding nod as you walk into the classroom. Ever since you and Taehyung became the schools "golden couple" everybody and their moms know, you guys do everything together. Where there is Taehyung there is y/n and vice versa.

You see the kids flooding out of the room as your eyes search for your two best friends.

You smile after spotting them by your desk, Jungkook is sitting on your desk while Taehyung is standing next to it, dressed in their usual uniforms but instead of the regular blazers they are wearing varsity jackets. As you walk up to them you give them a little genuine smile, you love them.

These were your boys.

Finally reaching your desk you start to pack away your notes. Both boys staring at you intently.

"How was the office my lovely lady" Taehyung says hovering over your lips before leaning forward a little bit more, placing a gentle yet slow kiss on your glossy lips. He pulls away from the kiss and licks his lips.

"Mm, cherry" he says smirking, you smile and look away.

You glance at Jungkook, his tounge pokes the inside of his cheek as he looks off to the side, he has a subtle yet annoyed look on his face.

"I wish I could have lunch with you but coach needs to see me" Tae explains smiling, he can't help but smile when you give him your puppy dog eyes. "Nooo I want you to stay with me" you say in a whiny voice looking up at him, your lips pouted.

He puts a strand of your hair behind your ear and leans in... you close your eyes expecting to to feel his soft lips on yours but instead he leans right past you.  You open your eyes and scoff causing tae to giggle.

" I'll see after lunch" tae said as he gives your nose a little <boop>. He pats Jungkooks arm and exists the class room, you can't help but smile at the sight of him.

You really did like him.

" I know he's your boyfriend and all, but do you have to be so affectionate, in front of me?" Jungkook questions helping you gather your things. You stop collecting your notes and look up at him eyebrows raised, placing your hand in your hip.

"Jealous?" You question.

"Very." He says looking up at you with a mischievous grin on his face. You chuckle and shake your head

"You can at least try and hide it" you say in between giggles.

"Come over after school" he says, you've always loved how determined he was. He zips up your bag and walks over to your side of the desk, he slowly moves closer, until there's no space in between you, you feel your breath hitch at the feeling of his chest firmly pressed against yours.

"I miss you, you're giving him all of your attention these days" he says in a low seductive tone and a teasing pout, placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

You feel your heart speed up ten paces, he always did this, In public too. His shamelessness is nothing new to you. Even before you and Taehyung started dating, Jungkook was never subtle with his flirting or sexual innuendos. Of course you've always showed your distaste to his flirting, that is until one day you gave in.

You push him off of you and scoff, "don't do that, not in public" you say sternly. You trying to discipline him only makes his grin grow wider. "So is that a yes?" He says tilting his head to one side.

"Fine" you say trying to sound nonchalant.

"Great see you tonight, bestie" he says using air quotes on the word bestie. You roll your eyes.

"Wait where are you going" you say confused, you guys always eat lunch together?

"Bye bye y/n" he says waving his hand in a mocking way. Why wasn't he eating lunch with you? Tae isn't going to be there, that usually makes him happy, you know to spend time alone with you. Whatever he probably just wants to eat with his other friends.

The fact that he has plans with someone that isn't you makes you uneasy. Relax y/n he can have other friends

It's only a friend, it's not a girl right?

Right?

JUNGKOOK’S POV

"Right and that's why we shouldn't hold tryouts" Hyunjin says after a 5 minutes rant on how he could play more than one position on the field, this idiot can barely play one. Although I am completely uninterested in their conversation I try my best to pay attention, they are my friends after all.

My mind keeps wondering back to our conversation and the fact that I'd see you after school made me giddy.

"Don't do that, not in public"

The thought of you trying to discipline me almost made me hard.

"Jungkook?"

I suddenly snap out of my trance.

"So will you help me and Taehyung recruit guys for the team?" Jaehyun says.

"Yeah sure whatever" I quickly stuff my sushi in my mouth.

God when is the school day gonna end.

Jaehyun mentioning Taehyung made me feel a certain type of... jealousy? anger.

Taehyung has everything I want, captain of the football team, both his parents in one house, and most importantly...

You.

Yes, you and Taehyung were the schools "golden couple" but that doesn't mean anything plus I don't need any of that. You were with me. That's all that matters, you want me just as bad as I want you, I mean you're willing to risk your relationship for me.

You must care for me, you can't possibly be putting so much at risk just for good sex.

The sex is good, so good, It's amazing actually.

The fact that you were having sex with him too doesn't sit right with me, but at the end of the day I can't decide anything for you. And he is your boyfriend, I hate to admit but if I asked you to choose which one of you'd rather have sex with, you'd probably choose him.

Sure Taehyung was someone I envied and despised, but I've known the guy forever. We grew up together, his parents would let me stay with them when my parents left their 10 year old home alone with a nanny. He's basically my brother I love the guy to death, I'd take a bullet for him.

But you know the saying, there's a thin line between friends and enemies.

And he was my best friend.

[kodzuken-pie]

——————————————————————————

• - 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 — ♫

——————————————————————————

Pairing : Agedup!Hajime x fem!reader

Genre : Songfic, angst

Warnings : swearing, verbal abuse, mentions of alcohol consumption

Word count : 2,867 words

——————————————————————————

“YOU REALLY ARE SUCH A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU KNOW THAT, HAJIME?” She roared out, absolutely fuming.

“Baby, please. We can talk about this.” You tried to coax her and calm her down.

“TALK ABOUT WHAT? YOU BEING SUCH A FUCKTARD? I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT. YOU ARE SO FUCKING USELESS.” She stormed out, grabbing her keys from the little bowl by the door and making it fall, crashing into a million broken pieces.

You knelt down and picked up the broken pieces carefully, letting out a heavy sigh.

‘How many times has it been just this week?’ You felt empty and numb.

Getting up, you drag your feet through the floor to get to the kitchen. You dispose of the broken pieces and grab the broom to clean up whatever you couldn’t pick up, throwing the ceramic shards away before heading back into your bedroom.

You stood there for god knows how long, just staring at the picture frame on your bedside table.Your lips pressed together in a thin flat line. You want to cry so bad but for some reason, the tears just wouldn’t fall.

‘How many times do I have to feel like this?’ The thought runs through your head.

You walked over to the little table and picked up the frame, sitting down on the bed and running a hand on the glass.

“So I guess I never really knew you, huh? God sure knows I fucking tried to.” You chuckle to yourself, shaking your head.

You moved to lay on the bed, hand still clutching onto the picture frame. The memories of the past six years flood through your mind and you feel your heart twist and turn in your chest. Pain and sorrow ruled these memories, more than love should have. Your eyes close momentarily as you remember the day you two first met.

— — — — - .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. - — — — —

𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚡 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚘.

“Woah.. who is she?” Matsukawa whispered out as she walked in.

You could care less about who just walked in to be honest but your friend's reaction had you curious. So, you looked up and lo and behold. The loveliest woman on earth just walked in through the doors, looking a bit lost. She locked eyes with you and you could see her plump cheeks turn pink.

“Oh, shit. She’s coming over.” Matsukawa sounded like he was panicking.

“Uhm hi!” Of course she sounded like an angel. “I’m new and I’m a bit lost. Is this pre-calc?” She asked.

“Yeah. You can sit with us if you want to.” You said cooly.

And so she did. She took the free space next to you, slowly getting close. You were blindsided by her beauty and you were instantly addicted to her.

— — — — - .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. - — — — —

Now here you were. ’Maybe you should’ve just kept your head down. Maybe if you didn’t talk to her. Maybe if you didn’t meet her gaze. Maybe-‘ You grimaced, eyebrows knitting at your thoughts.

‘How many more times do I have to go through this?’ The feeling of misery ran through you.

You had this feeling, the feeling that you two could do this but deep down inside you knew. You were foolish and in hindsight, it was so painfully obvious.

Your phone lit up and you were graced by a drunk message from her. You unlocked your phone and stared at the message.

”JUST SO YOU KNOW, I NEVER FUCKING LOVED YOU. IN FACT, I FUCKING HATE YOU.”

A heavy pang echoed through your heart. You locked your phone and put it on silent before leaving it face down under your pillow. Your eyes closed and you tried to sleep. To forget for even just a moment that your life was pure hell.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢. . .

You fixed your tie as you finished telling them what happened. Clearing your throat as you take in their reaction.

“Holy fuck. Where did you find this girl?” Your lawyer gasped in disbelief, reading the text that was sent to you the night before.

“I don’t know. We were young and well, young people fall in love and it’s with the wrong people sometimes.” The look on your face says it all. “Sometimes some mistakes are made but that’s alright. It’s ok cause you can think that you’re in love but at the end of the day, you’re just in pain. And in the end I know it’ll be better for me cause that’s just the moral of the story.” You said mournfully, the ring under your eyes was dark and heavy.

Your lawyer pats your shoulder. “You need some rest man. Just stay away from her for now, yeah?”

‘How am I going to get through this?’ The pain rushes through you, making your head hurt.

𝙰 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛. . .

You find yourself sitting on the living room couch with her sitting mere inches away from you. The room was uncomfortably quiet. From the corner of your eye, you could see her open her mouth then close almost immediately.

You found yourself scoffing as you looked around. A sweet and sour memory flashing in your mind.

“You know, I find it funny how my memories of us have turned into bad dreams. We were such a wild couple that I didn’t even realize that it was turning so volatile.” You look at the walls that surrounded you, a half smile pulling at your lips. “Do you remember when we painted this house? It was just like how my grandparents did it and a lot of people including me thought it was so romantic but of course that was all on the surface. We fought the whole fucking time and you know what, I should’ve seen the signs.”

‘How can I go on living without her?’ The thought popped up in your head for a moment.

She huffed, crossing her arms under her chest. “Tch. Not my fucking fault were falling apart. That’s all on you. You failed me, you good for nothing manchild.” She got up and went to your shared room.

She emerges from the room thirty minutes later with a bag and you instantly assumed she had packed some clothes. She sets the bag down on the floor and burns holes on the back of your head.

“If you would just listen to me, we wouldn’t be the way we are now.” Your head hangs low and you stare at your hands. “But you know what. Some people make mistakes and that’s alright. I know it’s going to be ok because you can think that you’re in love but in reality you're just in pain. That’s ok, you want to know why? It’s just better for me. And I think that’s the morale of the story.” You curl your hands into fists, your nails digging into the skin of your palms.

“Well maybe if you would’ve just taken care of me like you said then none of this would be happening right now. Good for nothing shit face! I’m fucking leaving. Don’t ever get in touch with me ever again.” She steps out and slams the door shut behind her.

As soon as she left, you felt your lips quiver. Was it really your fault? Maybe, you did promise her a good life. A life that she deserved.

— — — — - .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. - — — — —

𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚡 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚘. . .

You took a deep breath as you waited for her to enter the room. Tooru, your best friend, stood next to you.

“Relax Iwa-chan~! Relax~” He patted your back to help you with your nerves.

“But what if she says no..” You sighed in defeat.

“Iwa I don’t think she’ll say no. Do you see how she looks at you?” Tooru shook his head.

“But-“ You were cut off by the sound of the door opening.

There she was, standing wide eyed at the doorstep. She greets everyone as she walks closer to you. Her arms slinging over your shoulders as she engulfed you in a warm embrace. You felt so at home and so complete.

“Welcome home, Princess.” You whispered in her ear.

She gave you a small smile, not saying a word. Your heart raced a million miles an hour with just her looking at you. Just then she flashed a smile of irritation but you brushed it off since you didn’t know what it was for. You finally looked her straight in the eyes as you racked your brain for the right words.

“I know you just got here but there’s something important I want to ask you.” Your voice was a little shaky but you were still able to mask how nervous you were with a strong front.

“What is it, love?” Her head tilts over to the side, eyebrow cocked up.

“Will you marry me?” The question came out almost a whisper.

All you could hear was the loud thumping of your heart. Time seemed to have slowed down. You watched her reaction to the question. Her eye twitches but you didn’t know why, it only twitches like that when she’s not in the best of moods. Her mouth is slightly open, eyes blinking slowly. Then you decide to speak up.

“Listen, I know it’s.. sudden.. but. I love you so much. I promise to take care of you. I promise to give you the world. I’ll always be here for you. I don’t mind if you can’t give me an answer now. All I know is that I want you and I want to spend my whole life with you.” You took her hands and kissed her knuckles with gentleness.

The room was quiet and it was deafening. Everyone was watching you and waiting for her answer. You swallowed dryly. Then you see the corner of her lips jerk.

She went to hug you again and whispered in your ear. “You’ll keep those promises right?” You nodded. “Then yes. I’ll marry you.” She answered.

You had felt so ecstatic and alive at the moment while all she felt was disdain but you didn’t see it. No, it’s not that you didn’t see it but you chose not to even though it was written all over her face.

— — — — - .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. - — — — —

You got up from your seat and fished your phone out of your pocket. Deciding to call your mother to tell her the news. After a few rings, her voice boomed out of the little speaker.

“Hajime? What’s wrong?” It’s as if she already knew but how could she not.

She saw how much you were suffering in this relationship but you blinded yourself with love. You spoke finally, not realizing the tears suddenly pouring down your face. You sobbed into the speaker of the phone and all you could hear was your mother trying to comfort you.

“Just where did you find this woman, Hajime?” She spoke up. “You never realized just how toxic she is. We noticed how the light in you slowly got diminished the longer you two we’re together. Don’t think I don’t know about how she talks to you. I’ve heard it and she treats you like garbage which you aren’t.” Her voice was soft but her words were sharp. “She calls you useless when she doesn’t even work. You have given her everything and you have been providing for her for the past six years. All she’s ever done for you was bring you down. Hajime, my son, Please. Let her go.”

‘How could I ever stop loving her?’ Your heart twisted in your chest.

You laughed without amusement. “I’m sorry, mom. I just fell in love with the wrong person. You know young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes. And I guess I was the fool who fell.” You hiccuped, wiping the tears off of your face. “I just made a mistake that’s all. And I think that’s alright, yeah. It’s ok. I just thought that this feeling was still love but I guess it’s just pain. In the end it’s better for me cause I learned and that’s just the moral of the story.”

She nodded although you couldn’t see. She reassured and comforted you one last time before she hung up. Your arm slid down, loosely holding onto your phone. You just sat there, head resting on the couch as you stared at the ceiling. There was nothing there anymore. All you were was an empty shell of a man. You were too numb to feel anything, so you just sat there for hours.

You got knocked back into reality by the loud banging on your door. You turned your head ever so slightly, just staring at your door before it burst open. Then there stood your best friend. He was angry for some reason then it clicked in your head. ‘Ah, She must’ve gone to him.’ You sighed as he stomped towards you. He took a good look at your face and his heart dropped. All that anger dissipated into worry.

“Iwa.. chan?” He knelt in front you as he studied your expression.

“Oh. It’s just you. Tooru, hey.” You said so monotonously, void of any feeling whatsoever.

“Hey. Are you ok? You look like shit.” He stood up, resting a hand on his hip. “She came to me you know.”

“Uh huh.” You stared at your hands, looking at the little lines that ran across your palm.

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” He tried to get your full attention. “Get yourself together man. Don’t let her tell you this shit.” He grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

You slowly lifted your head to look up at him. Tears were once again, flowing hot and heavy down your face. A sob escapes from your mouth as soon as you fully realize who was standing in front of you, everything finally coming back to focus.

“Oikawa? Wh-What are you doing here?” Your voice was weak, mimicking how you felt at the moment.

“She came to me again. Is it really over?” His voice was lined with concern.

“Did she really say that? If she did then I guess it is.” Your heart felt like it was getting stabbed by a million daggers.

“Are you.. are you going to be ok?” He tries to read your emotions but all he could see from your face was years worth of pain and suffering. “H-hey you’ll be fine! You’ll get through this!” He tries to reassure you.

‘How can I just forget her?’ Your eyebrow twitched.

An exasperated sigh left your mouth as you shake your head, chuckling without any sort of humor. “You know they say that it’s so much better to have loved someone and lost said love rather than not having to have loved at all.” An image of her flashes through your head.

Tooru clicks his tongue, crossing his arms and looking at the picture of you and her hanging on the wall. “You do realize that, that could just be a load of shit, right? So this I What I’m going to tell you. He bends down and puts his hands on your shoulder. “As humans, sometimes we make mistakes and that’s alright, really. It’s ok.”

“Yeah, I know. I thought I was in love but I guess it was just because I was engaged. I hung on to a dying relationship. I made promises I couldn’t make. And that’s my mistake.” You close your eyes for a second, wiping the tears away.

“Ok but you know! That’s alright! And it really is ok. In the end, wasn’t it for the better? Now it’s just the moral of the story.” He gives you the biggest possible smile ever.

‘How am I going to go on normally now?’ You worried.

You tried to smile back but you failed. The tears you dried came rushing back, turning you into a big sobbing mess. Your best friend now sat beside you, rubbing comforting circles around your back.

“Hajime.” He sighs rather heavily. “Let me ask you a question.” He patted your back, leaning back onto the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “Was there ever a time that you were able to live without her?”

The question made you freeze. You never whipped your head so fast to look at him. “What?” It was all you could manage to say, not understanding the question he had asked.

“You heard me.” His expression was unreadable until he looked back at you. “I’m asking because I can hear your thoughts clearly. You don’t have to wonder how you could ever live without her because you already have. From the moment you we’re born to the moment before you met her, you have a life outside of her. I know it’ll take awhile for you to move on but you have to start now.” He looks at you earnestly. “Now come on. Why don’t we start by cleaning out everything that reminds you of her, huh?”

He pats your back again, standing up then turning to help you up. His words play on repeat inside your head as you start to refresh your life and find your peace. And maybe, hopefully one day, to find someone who you’ll be able to call your other half.

——————————————————————————

[billhaderlovebot]

beep beep (4) - richie tozier

some sexy stuff, swearing, angst, the usual. i don't know how many more parts there are going to be but if 5 is the last one then prepare for a Big Boy™

@ceruleanrainblues @the-star-above-you @a-second-hand-sorrow @shockwavee

----

the divorce was messy. timothy took pretty much everything on the grounds that you had run off with another man (which you thought was pretty fair) and he also had slandered your name in front of your whole family in court, which was actually quite petty of him. richie almost murdered him, that day, and had to keep his hand in yours so that he wouldn't get up and break timothy's nose again right in front of his big-shot lawyer.

your family, it was safe to say, did not approve of richie, because timothy was always such a nice boy, and you've made a terrible mistake, dear. the only one who ever did like richie was your grandmother, and she was long gone, bless her cotton socks.

so, yeah, you'd run off with richie.

yeah, you'd escaped from an unhappy marriage in which you never felt loved to be with someone who looked at you like you hung the fucking moon.

okay, granted, you did sleep with richie that night, which wasn't entirely moral, considering you were married to another man, but, yknow, timothy hadn't gone anywhere near you in months and months, and richie was just so good at the sex thing.

also, you loved him. so much.

leaving you with barely enough money to pay your hospital bills sucked. you weren't even sure how timothy was able to do that legally.

but it was alright. you took your stuff and moved into richie's penthouse apartment in malibu almost as soon as you'd been discharged from the hospital. he had made enough money over the first half of his trash-mouth tour to support the both of you for the time being, and he cancelled the reno dates, and all the dates for the foreseeable, because all he wanted to do was be around you and the rest of the losers.

your books and mugs and weird stuff that you'd hoarded over the years slowly spread themselves around richie's apartment, and it made him so happy because it was so utterly domestic.

whenever he saw your shoes in the hallway or your toothbrush in the weird ceramic holder with a bee on it that bev had bought him, he grinned like a stupid, lovestruck idiot, because he was a stupid, lovestruck idiot.

eddie came over a lot, regularly crashing in the spare bedroom because he, too was going through a divorce, and myra kaspbrak was quite a bit more intimidating than timothy. so, that became eddie's room while he was looking for his own apartment.

and you were so fucking happy.

the piece of string that had been serving as your engagement ring after richie proposing on a whim was a constant reminder of how loved you were, and you tied a matching one around his finger, because you didn't feel it was fair that he got to do the whole cute proposal thing.

it had been six months since derry. since the sewers, since defeating IT for the final time. since reuniting with your soulmate. you were sure that life couldn't get better.

eventually, you'd gotten an actual ring.

richie had given it to you on a whim, as usual, opening the little ring box in your direction while you were both surrounded by chinese food, the fourth consecutive episode of snapped playing in the background.

you had choked on your wok-fried garlic and soy broccoli, and he'd thumped your back so you wouldn't almost die, again, which hurt your recovering shoulder, and then he had panicked, and you were crying and laughing and choking all at the same time.

point is, he had given you a ring.

it was a thin, gold band with three little diamonds set into the middle, and you had immediately fallen in love with it.

you hadn't, however, wanted to take off the piece of string, so you wore it on the same finger as the proper engagement ring. richie was relieved because he also hadn't wanted to take the string off.

that night, after some really really great celebration sex, (albeit a little careful, as you sometimes got sharp pains up and down your ribs if you exerted yourself too much) richie bared his soul to you.

he told you everything.

and he cried, and he trembled because he was so scared of ending things with you before they had even begun.

it was the first time he had ever said it out loud.

"i'm bisexual."

and he had let out a breath, then. a breath that he had been holding in for almost three decades.

"oh, richie." and you held him to you without a second thought.

you had always known, somehow.

you'd known, for the same reason one knows the sun has risen. because you had eyes.

you'd seen how richie had always gravitated towards eddie, always grabbing onto him in moments of distress, the soft looks richie would give him when he didn't have time to put up his walls. you knew, and you loved him all the same. of course you did.

you didn't tell him, however, that you had known.

because this moment was so important. the moment where he finally had control over his life and his identity and he was spilling his heart out to you. you would not take that away from him.

this was his time. his moment. his life.

he told you about eddie, and the arcade, and the kissing bridge, and how he'd always, always pushed it down but now it was only the two of you, and if he was to marry you, he wanted everything out in the open.

and god damn you if you let him keep hating himself.

"richie, thankyou for telling me. im so happy that you... that you felt you could talk about it. and to me."

"so... you're not..."

"angry? no. honey, this is who you are. what kind of partner would i be if i didn't love you for who you are? you're perfect, richie."

he cried again, and you let him, because he fucking needed it.

----

richie's nightmares were bad.

really, really fucking bad.

he didn't have them as much as beverly said she had, because, while he had been caught in the deadlights, It was dead and couldn't push into his mind any further. he often couldn't remember what they were about, only that he woke up so scared he would cry. the deadlight-induced terrors came and went, but they always caught both of you off guard.

when it first happened, you were more than a little bit confused, because richie was not a restless sleeper.

you woke to quiet whimpers coming from the man sleeping beside you as he writhed under the bedlinen.

in your sleep-addled haze, it took you a minute to understand what was happening, wiping the sleep from your eyes and adjusting to the darkness.

what, moments ago, was little more than disturbed whimpers, was now loud, heart-fucking-wrenching sobs, the only sound in the otherwise silent apartment.

his body shook next to yours and you were beginning to panic, reaching for him.

"richie? baby, wake up." you shook him lightly, noting the sweat practically dripping from him, and his face, scrunched in fear. he whined lowly, jerking in the bed, but he did not wake. you hadn't been faced with such a situation before, especially not with him, so this was touch and go.

this had never happened before and you were absolutely shitting bricks.

you shook him again, and he jolted awake, crying out as he sat up with a start.

"richie?"

his eyes snapped open, searching wildly around the room for something that wasn't there.

the only light came from the moon and city lights outside your house. sobs of pain overtook him, great, heaving breaths, and then the man you were in love with was crying his fucking eyes out in front of you; fisting his hands in his sweat-soaked hair as his whole body shuddered.

they were tremors he had no control over, the aftershocks of the nightmare taking control of him.

it broke your heart. your face softened as you reached for him again.

god, he held on to you so tight that you almost started crying yourself.

"eddie..." he choked. "ben didn't warn him in time. and i-i-i couldn't... fuck-"

"eddie is at home." you murmured, pressing your lips to his sweat-slick forehead "a ten minute drive. he just moved in. we can go up to see him tomorrow, if you want."

"It's... It's in my head." richie sobbed. the front of your shirt was soaked through with tears. "It's still in my head."

"It's dead, richie."

"so why can i still feel it?"

and you didn't know what to tell him.

---

your first fight, needless to say, sucked.

you didn't even remember what you were fighting about, only that you screamed at each other a lot, and there were tears, and it ended with richie, head in his hands, asking you to leave him alone for a minute in a voice so uncharacteristically calm that it scared you. and so you left for the bedroom, shutting the door, your head swimming and chest burning from the sobs you'd been caging in there.

you knew, realistically, that this was just one fight, and you'd be back to normal within the hour, but this was the first fight you'd had since you were kids, and god only knows how hot headed you'd gotten in the 27 years since then. both of you.

and you hated yourself for letting it get this far and making him not want to be around you.

it was times like this, when richie's nightmares were at their worst and you woke up every night like fucking clockwork to make sure he was real and still there and still breathing, and eddie came round constantly because he couldn't stand being alone in a new place, it was times like this that you needed to be close. so while it was just a dumb fight, you allowed yourself to cry.

richie clicked open the door about half an hour later, shuffling into the room. his eyes were red and he was probably shaking a little bit, you thought.

"im sorry." his voice came out small, and you sat up from the bed immediately.

"no, im sorry, rich. i was overreacting and it was fucking stupid and we need to just-"

and richie all but staggered forwards, grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you, hard. you gasped, and he used the opportunity to gain access to the inside of your mouth. cheeky bastard.

you both had been crying for a while, so the kiss was rather wet, but you overlooked it on account of the fact that his hand was not-so-discreetly sliding up your shirt and fumbling at your bra clasp. as suave as he liked to think he was, his bra skills needed work. he eventually did it, and seemed more than a little bit proud of himself, muttering a triumphant: "fuck yeah."

you tugged richie's bottom lip between your teeth and he fucking groaned. and that noise coming from his mouth was so fucking hot that your knees almost buckled.

you made a mental note to do the sex thing really really well tonight, because the sex thing was definitely happening and it had been a bad night for the both of you and you fucking needed him, right the fuck now.

it wasn't long before you ended up underneath him, and he was pressing open mouthed kisses to your inner thighs, and you were breathing hard and you honestly thought that if he didn't get the fuck on with it you'd probably die right there.

"rich- ahh- richie?"

"yes, baby?"

god, how the fuck was he so smug all the time?

"i think you should- fuck, oh my god- probably get on with things right the the fuck now, or i'll have to... i'll-" you curled your fingers into his hair, your nails scratching across his scalp.

"or?" he hummed, continuing his ministrations everywhere except where you wanted them.

"i'll have to, mmmh, hurt you, actually." you whispered, breathless. you were unable to form a solid argument, what with richie fucking tozier being so sexy and all, teasing the shit out of you.

"you will?" richie put a hand on each of your legs and spread them further apart, his lips relentless, sucking and biting your sensitive flesh. this man was going to fucking kill you, god.

"yeah, yeah, i'll- ahh- bite your fucking face off, or something-"

and then he was between your thighs, right fucking there, so he never did find out what that something actually was, because whatever came out of your mouth after that wasn't decipherable.

---

"we shouldn't fight." richie murmured, as if he was afraid of being too loud in case he broke the moment.

you traced gentle patterns on his chest with your fingertips.

"i know." you said, equally as cautious.

"but i don't even remember what we were fighting about, and we just had several rounds of the apology." he laughed quietly, kissing your bare shoulder.

smirking at the hickeys on your collarbone, he pressed a kiss there, too, admiring his handiwork.

"i love you, fuck face." you yawned, your eyes fluttering shut.

"yeah, and i love you, dickweed."

richie stared fondly at the piece of string around his ring finger. you would be alright. after all, your wedding was coming up.

he had no nightmares that night.

[alysmarylin]

The fic you've been waiting for

Crowley avenging his beloved angel - Sandalphon got what he deserved (don't thank me, reblog instead)!!!!!!!!

Crowley and Aziraphale were unpacking the stuff they bought on a big shopping Sunday, and to this very day Crowley can't remember why and how they ended up talking about Aziraphale's, well... Ex-kin.

"I kinda enjoyed Michael", Crowley laughed. "Rather good-looking. Uriel, on the other hand..."

"Don't get me started on Uriel and Sandalphon", Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "I hate their guts"

"Sandalphon was a tough prick, I remember. And uglier than Belzebub", Crowley sneered.

"You don't say. He works in my place now, homophobic son of a... They couldn't have picked a worse candidate", Aziraphale said in a somewhat hurt voice. 

"Don't worry, angel. Soon enough, he will receive some beating from locals, I tell you"

"Yeah, I should've definitely punched that bastard back", Aziraphale muttered under his nose quietly, angrily. 

" Yeah, you bet...", Crowley laughed and then stopped abruptly. "W-w-wait, wait-wait-wait. Back? What do you mean, back?". Crowley stood up from the floor and stepped up to Aziraphale. 

" Nothing, really"

"No, not nothing". Crowley's eyes were widened in shock. " Do you mean, that, that piece of shit HIT you?!"

Aziraphale lowered his eyes. It looked like the memory wasn't pleasant. Crowley was gasping.

"When? When did it happen? How come I didn't know?", Crowley was not yet angry but more frightened. " Angel, look at me. Talk to me. Someone battered you and I know nothing of it?!"

"No one battered me. I was walking back to my bookshop and Michael, Uriel and... And he approached me, I was questioned..."

"Where the Hell was I?" - Crowley asked, astonished.

"You drove home", Aziraphale said quietly and sadly.

Crowley tilted his head backward and sighed with despair. "I should've known... ". He lowered his head and looked at Aziraphale with sadness and pain. Aziraphale looked confused and lost.

" What did he do? Tell me, angel", Crowley stepped closer, putting his hand on Aziraphale's arm, leaning closer. "Tell me. He's dead"

"Don't you dare, Crowley, we got away and I won't..."

"What did he do to you? What? Why didn't you tell me? I was up there, I saw him, I could've..."

"Because I didn't want you to", Aziraphale answered bitterly. " I needed you to be concentrated and cool-headed. You freed me from them, same as I did for you. That's all that matters"

"No, it's not. You look sad, you look hurt", Crowley said, cupping Aziraphale's cheek. " Otherwise you would've forgotten".

"He punched me in the stomach, alright?", Aziraphale said with a lump in his throat. His lower lip trmbled a bit. "It wasn't as painful physically as it was humiliating".

Crowley looked down on his angel's belly - soft, beautiful, beloved and precious - and everything before his eyes suddenly became red as blood.

"I told you because I trust you, but if you dare approach him or pull out something stupid like that, I will leave you, Crowley", he heard Aziraphale's voice from some distance.

"Do you hear me? Answer me, Crowley"

Crowley felt his head filling with lead from within.

"I will not approach him. I swear it"

"Good", he hears Aziraphale say. " I'll finish unpacking"

Crowley stopped Aziraphale, holding him by the arm. He embraced him from behind, wrapping one of his arms around his chest and putting his hand gently on the angel's belly. He buried his nose in his soft blonde curls and muttered: "I love you".

"I love you too", Aziraphale answered softly, "Now let me finish".

Crowley looked at him, picking up paper bags and arranging the stuff around the room, looking small and soft and lovely. Somehow it made his silent rage all the more burning and red became crimson in his eyes. He swore he wouldn't approach that sick fuck who laid his dirty hands - no, he couldn't bear to think of it - on Aziraphale

... But he said nothing of his friends.

***

Crowley pulled his hood further on his forehead

"Pleasure to see you, Jay. You look like a heroin addict in that hoody", said Phil. 

"I have to hide my hair somehow. Rare color"

Crowley was nervous and feeling restless.

"Yep. You're drop-dead gorgeous lad, we get it. To what I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to track someone down. Name's Saldanphon but he changes his IDs every now and then. You'll have to check for anything similar. Don't have a picture, but I draw him", Crowley laid a piece of paper on a table. The drawing looked fairly accurate. " Looks middle-aged, a bit fat, bald, ugly, has a golden tooth. A homophobe might be hanging around gay bars and the likes to preach or intimidate or whatever he does. That's all I have as of now".

"Well", Phil sighed " It's doable. But it will take a while. Any family?"

"No, none at all"

"I see. The golden tooth is indeed something". Phil looked at Crowley's hand. "You got married?"

"Ugh, yeah", Crowley answered looking around. " You know how to, ehm, tell me of the progress?"

"I've been around longer than you", Phil said wearily, and Crowley had to keep his mouth shut on that remark, " You'll know when I find something. Just one more thing. This, ehm, funny-named morality apostle. What exactly are you planning? He's gonna go?"

"No, not go", Crowley said with sheer disappointment "Plainly be taught a lesson. He put his shitty hands where he shouldn't have".

"Are you gonna call our mutual friend?", Phil raised his eyebrows. " If you want to make it clean, it's the best way. They'll never track his men down. Just food for thought, Jay. A piece of advice from the old man"

"That sounds reasonable", Crowley nodded, as if he had had any idea what to do next when he came to Phil, " I'll think about it. Thank you. Wanna count?". He put a book - a fake book, of course - on a table.

"Here? Oh, please. Trust me, if I don't find what I intend to find here, you'll know", Phil put a book in his bag and stood up. " Have a nice day, kid. Next time, wear something else"

Crowley waited for ten more minutes before leaving the diner. It was only when he was in a crowdy underground station when he put the hood off. He had to be cautious. For everyone's sake.

 

***

 

"Do you really think it's a good place, Jay?", said a tall and broad bald man in a leather jacket, trying to sit comfortably on a bench by a pond.

"The best one, in terms of privacy", said Crowley, looking grimly from his hood. " So. You said you owe me a favor all the way back from 1999. I didn't need anything for a long time, but now..."

"How do you manage to look so young, you sick bastard?", the man asked, chuckling, trying to look at Crowley's face. " You look just like my son, and that sad excuse of an heir is 27 now, not something you could tell by the way he speaks, though, I'd give him 10  in that department, still... How old are you, anyway?"

"I use a strong sunscreen. And I have good genes. Good, hardworking Irish people, my entire family. Will you listen or not, Patsy?"

A bald man stopped laughing and sighed.

"Of course. What seems to be the problem?"

"Our mutual buddy, Phil, tracked down a guy I need you to deal with. Here's what I've got on him", Crowley took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to a man without so much as looking at his side. " I want your people to teach him a lesson. He's gotta stay alive. I can't be seen. But I need to watch it from a distance. I know you're ready to do this, but still" - Crowley took out something that looked like a book and put it on Patsy's lap still without looking at him - "this is some additional motivation for you, or a token of a good will, if you wish to call it that way".

Patsy put down an apparently-book-thing in his suitcase and opened a piece of paper. He looked at Crowley, frowning.

" What kind of a lesson do you want him to be taught, exactly?"

"If your boys will do it properly, he'll need new teeth", Crowley said, finally turning his head to his counterpart, looking him in the eyes from beneath his shaded. "The whole damn package. And the old ones, I want to have them. Every single one. Especially the golden one. No internal bleeding, no injuries to any organs. You can break a couple of ribs, but carefully. As you wish. But I need his teeth"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jay", the Patsy man said, looking flabbergasted. " What did this son of a bitch did to you so you became such a butcher"

"He laid his shitty hands where he shouldn't have", Crowley hissed, grinding his teeth. His hands clenched in fists.

" You didn't tell me you were married. Was this your wife?", Patsy asked warily.

"I have no wife, but I am indeed married", Crowley answered. " I know you're one of the few people of your occupation who don't look down on things like that. I love him. But I swore I won't touch this bastard myself. I don't have much choice, Pat"

"I'm sorry it happened to your, well, spouse", Patsy said carefully. " But the guys that I have in my crew are not as open-minded as I wish they were. You know it yourself. Ours is not the most prestigious job. I'll do this favor, but when you're sitting in a car with them, better keep the personal personal". 

They shook hands.

"I'll be waiting for your call. You know which number to call, and which not to", Crowley said, standing up. "I'm looking forward to seeing your team at work".

 

***

 

Crowley was staring into the field glasses, trying looking at two tall men in leather jackets dragging a bald man resembling Sandalphon, gagged and tied up, to a torch on the abandoned parking lot. The jeep where Crowley and his associates were sitting was right in its darkest corner.

It was Christmas Eve, the 24th of December. The snow was falling gloriously, but the place was too grim and damp for the fairy-tale-like spirit.

“You see them, Cap?”, a young driver, sitting by Crowley’s side asked.

“It looks like him, but I need insurance. I remember his voice. Call them”

One of the guys on the backseat dialed a number and one of the bouncers took the phone.

“Our cap wants so be sure it’s the guy. Let him speak”

He turned on the speakerphone. Soon enough Crowley heard Sandalphon screaming something like:

“I’ll give you anything you want, please, untie me, I need my hands, I…”, before Crowley nodded and Sandalphon became silent again. The phone was turned off and Sandalphon was dragged to a small staircase, and Crowley had to pay very close attention, looking into field glasses again, to recognize what was going on.

“Are you sure your people can do ALL the teeth in one go?”, he asked a bit unsurely.

“You insult us, Mr. Jay. It is our signature. One strike, all teeth. Leaves a strong message”, murmured a young man behind him.

“Well, then…”, Crowley started, but then he saw something rather outstanding, that made him make a certain sound: “Oi, woah… That was surprising… Alright, gentlemen, pardon me for my previous skepticism. I take that back. On second thought, I even refuse to take, the, ehm, the evidence”

He then heard his phone ring. It had to be Aziraphale. He had to answer. He quickly took the phone and blurted:

“Angel, honey, I can’t talk, I’m very busy, buying you a surprise, I’ll call you back in ten, love you”, without letting him even say a word. He figured out it would be more secure.

“Wife?”, asked a second young man, with a smile.

“Yeah. Sort of. Listen, I think I’d rather be going, are they done with the teeth? At the end of the day, I’ll think I’m more than happy without them. I don’t wanna take ‘em. I saw what you did, it was amazing. Drop me at the underground station, please… Else my, ehm, spouse, will be suspecting something, which I don’t fancy, like, at all”.

 

Crowley was very relieved when they drove away.

 

***

 

Crowley thought he had never had such a lovely Christmas morning. Angel was by his side, in his lovely tartan pajamas, they were tucked under the blanket, sipping tea and lazily switching the channels on telly.

“I thought I hated Christmas”, Crowley said quietly, as he lowered his head to Aziraphale’s, planting a soft kiss on his temple. “Now you made me love it. What next, angel?”

“You’ll stop wearing all black?”, Aziraphale answered, with a sarcastic smile.

“Naah, not in this life and not in the next”, Crowley said leisurely, switching the channels. Then he saw the news.

“… The victim of this horrific Christmas assault is alive, but severely traumatized – his teeth were…”

That was something Crowley didn’t account for – the bloody news.

“Ugh, what is it with these people”, he said with a trembling voice, trying desperately to sound casual, turning the telly off. “It’s only violence on this television, I’ll better put on some music. And make you some tea”, Crowley said, standing up.

“Dear boy”, Aziraphale said softly. “I’d like some tangerines. Would you be so kind as to bring your husband a plateful of those?”, he smiled. Crowley looked like he was melting from the inside.

“Every time you say the h-word I can’t say no to anything, angel. I’ll be in 15, a’right”

Crowley sighed with relief as he stepped into the kitchen. He was off the hook now, but some time from now, the angel might still learn about what happened. Will he be able to understand?

“All I did, I did for you”, Crowley thought in pain. “I love you so much I couldn’t stop it. He had to pay, my love, he had to”. Crowley felt tears fill his eyes, as he was putting tangerines in a bowl, but he was able to will them away. “I’d kill for you, I’d die for you, Aziraphale”, he thought with anguish. “I hope you know that whatever comes. I hope you will forgive me for what I had to do”.

 ***

 

With Crowley gone, Aziraphale was finally able to read the newspaper.

 

“Broken teeth, that’s a good take”, he thought smugly, as he read the weekly crime report. “See, Sandalphon. What goes around, comes around, next time you want to apply brutal force to your… arguments, better remember this, no? Though I doubt there will be the next time”

Aziraphale smirked. What his husband lacked in logic and cautiousness, he made up in loyalty and protectiveness. Blind loyalty and fierce protectiveness.

“You’re such an idiot, Crowley”, Aziraphale thought tenderly. “Really, A-J? To think I wouldn’t know? Me, famous Mr. Fell of Soho?”

That very evening, when he received a phone call from Phil and heard of some “heroin junkie looking” guy calling himself “Tony Jay” or “A J”, or, God have mercy, “Jay”, of all things, he knew it has to be Crowley.

“Wearing a black hoodie on top of his shades, really. It’s a miracle he didn’t get busted for drug possession”. Maybe it was indeed a miracle.

Truth be told, he wasn’t angry. He couldn’t approve openly, but there was a certain warmness in knowing that a homophobic golden-toothed prick who assaulted him now got what was coming for him.

“But I can’t encourage this sort of behavior in Crowley”, he thought, hiding his smile. “Now, dear boy, you need to control your impulses. At least, most of the time”.

Still, Aziraphale knew that he was one of the luckiest men – well, not really men, but… - alive, for his partner would stop at nothing to protect him.

“If only he would’ve acted a bit cleverer… Well, I suppose you can’t have it all. He’s beautiful, caring, kind, sweet, fiercely loyal and sexy as Hell, in the most literal sense of this word. It’s only natural he has to be a complete idiot to not let me forget myself. Oh, he brought me the cannoli the other day… This boy watched The Godfather too many times”.

 

“Angel!”, Crowley said, entering the room with a bowl full of tangerines. “What are you smiling at?”

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have you, dear boy”, Aziraphale answered with a loving smile.

[authorofdanger]

Reason Of Survival Part 1

Genre:Angst

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, violence, kidnapping, and death.

Stray Kids Mafia AU

My breathing was ragged as I took another blow to my chest. It was another losing fight for me this week but what was the point in winning? Another day having the shit beaten out of me? To possibly having a full meal once a day and two smaller ones to try to motivate me more? Some clean water? A fucking shower? I dont have a good reason to keep fighting so I kept taking all the hits from my opponent. It felt like hours before I was on the ground with a broken wrist, fractured nose, bloodied face, cracked ribs, and bruises littering my entire body. It's not the worst I have endured in a fight but it's not my best either.

I was tossed back into my cell like a piece of meat and I could barely let out a cry from the pain of the impact. My hair was pulled up harshly which forced me to look my boss in his eyes. "The fuck is wrong with you? You were my top fighter for years and now you cant even win a single fight! And for what? Some cell mate you had for only a few months? Pathetic." My cell mate, Libby, died last week after losing her tenth fight. Boss decided she was no longer useful and.... well you can guess from there. She was my only friend in this hell hole and the only person I wasn't forced to fight. We took care of eachother and became eachothers motivation to keep going and keep winning. At this rate I'm not too far from joining her.

"I'm warning you. Either start winning or I will find better use for you," he warned before releasing my sore scalp and slamming my cell door shut. I crawled over to my personal first aid kit and cleaned myself up the best I could without water or a mirror. My wrist was going to have to wait until my weekly body check from my cell section's nurse. Leaning against the cool concrete wall I listened to the fights continuing the floor above me so I could have an idea of which cells would need to be cleared tonight.

*****

"Let me fucking go," a voice boomed down the hall which ripped my attention away from the fight. I glanced over through the bars and saw a boy being dragged this way by two guards. He looked young, possibly still a teen, but he was well built and looked to be a perfect candidate in the ring. His red hair was messy on top of his head and his clothes were ripped and bloody. He had to be new though because if he wasn't I'm sure I would have fought him by now. I pulled my legs to my chest to make myself small as the three of them stopped in front of my cell and the boy was tossed inside with me and locked in. "I swear to God your going to regret that when my team gets here," he yelled but the guards only laughed before leaving the hall.

I kept silent as I watched him curiously. Nobody in their right mind speaks to the guards like that unless you are a top fighter. A boy like him could get killed here and the boss wouldn't even bat an eye. He ran his hand through his hair before turning around and jumping at the sight of me. I relaxed my legs a bit when I saw all of the violence in his eyes be replaced with concern. "Are you okay," he asked. I let out a small painful laugh. "You're kidding right?" His eyes scanned around my body and stopped when it hit my wrist. "Its not nice to stare you know," I scoffed before shutting my eyes and leaning my head back, "you a new fighter or something?"

"Prisoner. I was captured while on a mission with my team." Prisoner? We dont have prisoners. We have fighters, sex workers, and the guards but not prisoners. "So a fighter? You look too innocent to be a guard and the boss doesn't typically want a baby faced male sex worker." My eyes shot back open in fear as I felt a hand gently grab my wrist but I didnt pull away. "I can wrap this. It might help." Without an answer he had a hold of my first aid kit and made a good makeshift cast. The entire time I kept my eyes on his face which held a sense of focus and care that kept me calm most of the time of contact. "You know it's not nice to stare," he mocked while finishing up. I rolled my eyes but chose to ignore his comment.

"What's your name?" "Y/N. Yours," I asked as he put up the kit. "Jeongin. How long have you been here?" To be honest I'm not too sure. One day I just woke up in this cell with no recollection of my past and I've been here ever since. "Years," was the easiest answer I could give him. I could see his shoulders tense up a bit but his face remained calm and held little emotion. It's odd seeing a newbie so relaxed after being brought in. Normally they would be screaming, fighting, and finding any way to escape. Jeongin on the other hand seems to accept his fate or maybe he has a plan that is bound to fail, either way it's too hard for me to read him quite yet.

"How old are you? I'm seventeen," he asked. He was probably trying to relax any fears I have of him and truth be told it was working but seventeen? And he was talking about a team and he is holding himself together? Something isnt quite right about him but how can I judge in a place like this. "I dont really know anymore. The boss has a file on me somewhere but I had a serious head injury a while back and all I remember is my name and a few scattered memories here and there. It's all a bit of a blur. Hey you said something about a team right?" His eyes shined at the question. Whoever this team is he must hold a good amount of fondness to them. "They're like brothers to me. There are nine of us in total and we run a pretty well known mafia group if I do say so myself. It's a tough job but it gives us all the thrill we have craved since birth. I'm their hacker, I can crack any passcode and hack any electronic device in minutes. Been doing it since I was about fifteen." His hopeful look dimmed as he trailed into a deep thought.

"I wonder if they know where I am." Against my better judgement I reached my hand out for him and led him to sit beside me and laid his head on my shoulder. I dont quite understand what he is feeling right now but I have a good idea. "I wont let anything happen to you Jeongin. Your brothers are coming and they will get you out of here, until then I promise I will keep you alive." Now the question was how was I going to do that? How was I going to protect another person when I can barely protect myself?

*****

The next morning we were woken up by the sounds of sobs and screaming, the usual sounds the morning after fighting matches. Today is the day where cellmates discover that their best friends, lovers, and family members are gone. Today is also the day where if we have any weak links we either move them to the sex worker section or they get killed off. It's always hard to hear no matter how long you have been here and I feel that these sounds will haunt me until the day I die. "What's happening," Jeongin whispered as I watched people being ripped from their cells and new people being added. "They're cleaning out cells. Removing weak links, adding new people, and moving people around. Dont think to much about it." He only nodded his head before taking his body weight off of me and looked around. He mentioned before that he was in the mafia, shouldn't this not bother him at all? "There's kids here too?" Does he expect the boss to have morals? If they can be of any use he will keep them. "Some were born here and some were taken. Again dont think to much into this stuff. It only adds to the depression." He turned his head and looked at me with an unreadable glare. "I'm going to get you out of here," he said more to himself but I only gave him a small smile before fear rose in my chest. I quickly got up and pushed him behind me as the boss opened my cell and slightly chuckled at my protectiveness.

"Well looks who is finally up and moving again," he said darkly while pulling a remote out of his suit pants pocket. I prepared myself for the electric shocks that were about to hit me through my shock collar but refused to stand down, he is testing me I know it. "So I see you have gotten to know our new little addition. I figured he would bring something out in you." I ticked my eyebrow up at him and listened carefully at every single word he was saying and being prepared for any questions he may ask. "I was thinking of adding him to this unit but maybe he would be better as-" "You wont take him," I interrupted boldly, "you want me to win then fine but you cant have him." I know his games and he has done things similar before. He wants his best fighter to win him big bucks in the ring and this is a sick way of doing it. A grin found it's way on his lips as he pressed the button on the remote, nearly bringing me to my knees if Jeongin didnt grab me by the waist to hold me up.

"How about we make a little deal then pet," he laughed before turning off the collar, "as long as you keep winning in the ring he doesnt have to even lift a finger. You continue your little stunt and your losing streak then I trade you two out. Maybe he can do better then you." Jeongin's grip on me tightened and he whispered in my ear "I can handle this. Dont do it." Closing my eyes and shaking my head I felt like there wasn't much of a choice. If I can help it I dont want anyone else in that ring even if it means I have to work myself to death. "He wont be in the ring? Or a part of the sex group," I asked as bravely as I could. "No. You will take up any and all of his jobs I would have pinned him to do. His whole life will depend on your actions." Could I handle that? The extra fights, possibly be in the sex ring as well, any and everything he would have to go through plus my own schedule? "Deal."

*****

"You didnt have to do that," Jeongin sighed while cleaning the dried blood off my face and body since we got our cleaning bucket. "You dont want to be out there. I've been doing this long enough to know what to expect. You just have to trust me on this." I let in a sharp inhale as the soaked rag swiped over my nose which definitely was broken. He mumbled out a few apologies but continued on until most of the blood was off of me and in the bucket. "We should be getting showers tonight for the selections," I explained as he examined the bruises and other various injuries I had. "Selections?"

"Other bosses from other districts come and decide who they want to pin against their own fighters. They also discuss which prize they want if they win. Sometimes its money and sometimes it's the losing fighter. Most of the others here I had fought at one time or another and my boss claimed. I could be fighting about four fighters if I'm lucky in the next three days."

"You call that lucky?" "Lucky as in minimum. Usually on my own I get between two or three and now that I add on your count," I began but stopped myself. I dont need him feeling bad about something that isnt his fault. "You wont be fighting. Chan and the others will find us by then," he assured quietly after a guard passed our cell. I could only give him an assuring smile. How long will it be before he gives up hope? I've been here for years and after a few months I gave up on the thought of escape. Once you end up in a cell there is no leaving, you are no longer a human in a sense but like an animal. Nobody really cares about you as a person anymore and you might as well be erased from the outside world.

"I bet Seungmin has already tracked my location by now," he added "and Chan is probably calling either Sungjin or JB! Oh or Woojin could be calling Jungwoo! It would be a mess if all of NCT came you know," he continued. At some point I zoned out of what he was saying so I myself wouldn't get my hopes up. I thought back to Libby and how right now she would be playing with my hair or how she would be trying to learn fighting strategies from me. Maybe she would have punched Jeongin in the face by now because of his optimism levels, she never was one to see the glass half full.

"Are you even listening to me," he chuckled which pulled me back to the present. "Kinda. Hey Jeongin can we not talk about escaping right now? Maybe you can tell me more about your friends in general?" As if he understood what I was getting at he nodded his head and began to ramble on about all the adventures he has been on through the years. Though he may be a little too hopeful and cheerful he is the perfect amount of light for this dark situation, and in my mind I vow to never let anything happen to him.

Even if it kills me.