#you'll never guess how much it took me to post this!!!

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[fuckyesbrucewayne]

I was debating on whether to make this post or not, but then I realized that if I cannot be annoying about Bruce Wayne in my Bruce Wayne Sideblog™ then what's the point. So here are basically my thoughts on why Bruce's characterization on Batman and Robin: Year One doesn't work for me, especially on this last issue.

So without further ado, let's begin!

First things first, I'm going to show the panels that are the whole reason I am making this post first, and then analyze what is happening and why I think it doesn't work for a young Bruce that is just beginning. And yes, I will be using as a basis Golden and Silver age Bruce, because he's the blueprint whether Mark likes it ot not.

(To give some context Robin got himself kidnapped, but he saved himself. Alone, I might add.)

This scene begins... with not much promise. This whole comic makes it a point that Bruce is not only clueless about raising Dick (an idea I'm not entirely against) but also makes it seem like he's kind of forced to take care of the kid? For some reason?? The comic treats it like it's a chore he has to do, and that it falls more on Alfred's shoulders than anything... and Alfred is also not very good at it, but that's another story (I'm not completely against that as a characterization choice on Alfred's side).

My whole problem with this basis is that if Bruce is not only clueless but also kind of not interested in raising Dick... Then why did he even take him in in the first place? Like, what was he thinking, and more importantly, what am I supposed to get from this? Because I'm going to assume that the reason he took him in was because he saw himself in him, right? So... it was just a selfish act?? On a whim?? That's it??? You'll understand why I feel that idea is kind of shallow, at the very least.

But going back to the page at hand, we can see that Alfred is making a point of not interfering and letting Bruce figure himself out, but also letting it be known that he... Kind of doesn't like Dick either (which is surprisingly in character with Dixon's Robin origin story, so I guess there's some basis there).

Robin's first question when they're left alone is that if he's going to get fired, which I find "fascinating" that so many modern retellings focus on, because the idea of firing was not that important in the original stories. Like, the fear of being fired was less important than the fear of being abandoned by Bruce or being replaced, that last one was very common... But firing in and of itself wasn't necessarily that big of a deal, and it never was until that infamous story of Nightwing's second origin (which I think you can guess it's not my favorite, not when the first one was so good already... But also because Max wrote himself into a corner with that one. So you're telling me Bruce fires Dick because he doesn't want a young partner and then immediately accepts 12-year-old Jason. As his partner. What.). Anyways, Bruce's answer to that loaded question is "not yet", which is. A choice. Because what are we doing here, why is Bruce taking in an orphan who has lost every semblance of family he had but is also making his position in his household so... flimsy. There was a time when it was literally only the two of them against the world, and I understand we cannot do that anymore because of Alfred, but even then writers have made it a point to write about how these two were a set, a "do not separate" team. They're the dynamic duo for fuck's sake, why is Mark making a point to write Bruce reaffirming Dick's fears about his position being temporary, what am I supposed to understand here about Bruce's character as a caregiver. And also why is he making Bruce separate himself from Dick by saying that he is rich, that the money is his, not theirs. Why are we giving the 12-year-old or however old he is supposed to be here financial insecurity.

I know you will be surprised to know this, but Bruce has always been kind of a workaholic... but not surprisingly, and contrary to what everyone wants you to believe, in his earlier years it was not so exaggerated. He used to do a lot of fun activities with Dick! If Dick wanted something he would cave like a house of cards because that was his little boy.

They went fishing a lot, they had pillow fights, they went to the lake, to the beach, camping, they had fun a lot of the time, HE USED TO TELL DICK TO TAKE IT EASY!!!! Hell, they didn't even go looking for cases most of the time, they would go to a museum or try to relax and a bomb would fucking explode.

So... why are we making a point to show Bruce IN HIS FIRST YEAR WITH DICK telling him that "yeah actually every day matters and if you are not doing something productive you deserve to suffer or whatever". What is going on here. I'm not saying that Dick's workaholic tendencies don't come partly from Bruce, but we all forget that Dick has been a child star athlete since he was five at the very least.

Hell, this comic literally goes into a tangent in the next page about this.

And here we arrive to my last straw with this comic. I'm going to kill someone I fear. In what universe, in what fucking universe, is Bruce Thomas Wayne telling Richard John "Dick" Grayson that he made a mistake in taking him in. Why are we accepting and even praising this characterization. I'm not even going to say anything I'm just going to leave comic panels here.

But yeah this was the page, the panel, that ended it for me. We're not coming back from this. And if you think next page fixes it because Bruce is known to be very autistic blunt and say the first thing his brain is thinking without realizing it can be misinterpreted... Just look at this.

What is this, what is this supposed to be. What the fuck. In other circumstances the idea of "we're here to help each other" is something I wouldn't be against, but it's just the whole conversation before it that ruins it. So basically, after Bruce threatens to throw him out, reaffirms Dick's fears that his position is temporary and that Bruce has all the power in this dynamic, THEN he's like "we're here to help each other yippieeeee help me child" are we stupid. Are we stupid.

Basically I think I've made my point clear. But if not, my biggest problem is this: if Bruce has been a cold-hearted paranoid jackass since the beginning... then what's the point.

What's the point of Jason's death, of the accidentally good storytelling of Bruce going through traumatic event after traumatic event (Jason's death, Knightfall, No Man's Land, Fugitive, Identity Crisis, etc., ETC.) and coming out of them more cynical, more changed, more broken. If he's always been cold and callous, if there was never any fun, any whimsy, any love... then how did Dick become so devoted to him.

Why do they both miss the good old days if there is nothing to miss.

What am I supposed to be understanding here, about the dynamic duo's relationship. And most important of all... What's the point. If this relationship is based on abuse, if this relationship has nothing good going for it, if Bruce has been always an abusive monster and Dick a poor victim that didn't know any better, then what's the point. What is the point of Batman and Robin, if this is all there has always been. Is this all Bruce is allowed to be using this toxic view of masculinity as his basis. Is he not allowed to be fun, to be loving, to feel anything outside of anger or annoyance.

Why does he barely smile at Dick in this comic, even when they're out of the suit, if he is supposed to be in his first few years? Where's the tragedy then, in knowing he used to make him laugh.

Why does he suddenly not seem to like Dick for who he is? Because that's the thing, it just seems like he doesn't like him, like there's no reason he took him in other than a sudden whim, like they are not the fucking dynamic duo, like they are not the blueprint. They just feel like two people that don't even like each other and are forced to live together. And how is this dynamic more interesting, how is this supposed to be better than what we had. What's the point, man.

What's the point.

[sugusearrings]

( ' safe & sound ' )

just close your eyes, the sun is going down you'll be alright no one can hurt you now come morning light you and i'll be safe and sound.

— summary: captain levi ackerman the strongest warrior alive is struggling to adjust after the war. but you (fem!reader) are there to remind him he deserves peace. — genre: fluff but tiny bit of angst. — playing: safe & sound by taylor swift — note(s): so aot just ended and i'm still in denial it's really over. my boy eren did nothing wrong but i understand, 80% is kind of a lot BUT HE WAS A CHILD WAR WEAPON. anyways, post war. SPOLIERS AHEAD JUST A FAIR WARNING OKAY. levi ackerman and reader have a slight age gape ( reader is 25 and levi is in his mid thirties). mentions of brief sex. mentions of scars and death. maybe some spelling errors i missed but i tried ~ levi may be grumpy and mean but he's a total softie to the reader. — word count: 2k

He inhaled sharply as his upper body sat up from his sleep. He could feel the cold sweat formed on his the side of his head rolling down. His chest rose up and down with each inhale he took. He ran his hand over his face. He glanced down at his hands. His two missing fingers always reminded him what happened almost five years ago now. The rumbling ending. Everyone is trying to rebuild a normal life. He never really knew what a normal life was. His life was all about fighting and survival and now it was over. What was Levi made for now?

He quickly reached over for his cane leaning against the nightstand.

Levi was determined not to be stuck to that damn chair, he did whatever exercise he could without putting too much on his body. There were some days he had to be wheeled around. But using the cane on the daily was happening often. He didn’t want to be helpless or dependent on anyone. He was never like that so why start now?

He made his way out of the bedroom and walked into the small hallway that normally took two minutes to pass but it felt entirely. He was on alert, adrenaline pumping through his veins already. How could he protect now? He felt so useless. Once the greatest warrior to this. At first it was hard accepting this new reality of his. All he wanted to do was sink more into the dark and isolate himself.

If he was gone, would anyone notice? Would anyone care? Those he loved and cared for were long gone leaving him alone. He never knew loneliness would become his true enemy.

He held his breath accepting his fate as he walked into the kitchen. His dull gray eye widen seeing you standing there already pouring some tea in one of his favorite cups. He nearly dropped his cane.

“Name…”

“Captain Levi?” You looked up at him a bit startled he was awake. He let out a heavy exhale.

“After all this time, you still callin’ me that?” He rolled his eye then shook his head. “Give me a break.” You giggled quietly with a light blush appearing on your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, it’s just an old habit I guess.”

“What are you doing up?” He asked you completely ignoring what you said.

“I figured you would want some tea when you would wake up.” You replied walking over to grab another cup from the cabinet. Levi could feel his ears beginning to burn. He cleared his throat.

“You…know?” You turned around to see the flustered older man. You tilted your head slightly to the side and was baffled. He thought he could hide his nightmares from you. His nightmares of the past.

“Of course I do.”

Your warm smile still made his heart throb the same way it did when you two met.

He found you the most annoying thing ever. You were too optimistic for his liking and you were very emotional. You were immature and very impulsive. But he adored that about you. You weren’t scared to stand up for what you believe in, even against him. When he was your captain and you were just a cadet on his squad. You two saw things from different perspectives but he respected that. He wasn’t sure if he ever told you he did.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” He made his way over to the nearest chair at the table. He pulled it out so he could sit. You took the cup full of tea and walked over to place it in front of him.

“It’s okay, Levi. Your nightmares don’t always wake me,” you placed your hand over his, “I have my own too, y’know?” You gave him a gentle squeeze.

The guilt sunk deep in Levi’s chest. How could he not think about you having your own trauma for what you both went through. Losing people you love, being injured and almost close to death several times. You had many scars to prove it. Especially the one on your neck reaching to the top of your chest. It was easier to hide but doesn’t mean it wasn’t a constant reminder when you would change outfits, shower, even during intimate times.

“I’m a horrible husband aren’t I, name?” He sighed deeply, reaching to grab his cup the same way he always has. You smiled remembering the time you made fun of the way he held his glass to your other comrades. It was all laughter until Levi was behind you the whole time. When you turned around looking white as a ghost seeing Levi glaring down at you. You screamed loudly then he made you clean his office and room from top to bottom.

“A little bit.” You teased him playfully. You grinned when your husband glared at you. “I’m kidding, Levi. How are you a bad husband?”

“My wife has fucking nightmares next to me and here I am sleeping.” He snapped. You bit your bottom lip and lowered your eyes. “But I even breathe a certain way, she knows if there’s something wrong with me.” He went on becoming more aggravated with himself.

“You’re being hard on yourself again.”

“You’re not denying it.” He countered. You sighed deeply.

“Levi…I have nightmares, yes. But you help me just by being there next to me.” You gave him another squeeze. Before he could say some smart ass remark you cut him off. “You remind me of what’s happening now. I can’t forget the past...I can never forget. But waking up next you eases it and makes it better to deal with.” Levi remained silent.

He couldn’t believe someone like you could ever love someone like him. To this day he would be in disbelief. You were so warm and he was so cold. But here you are sharing a life with him.

“You make it sound so easy.” He mumbled lowly.

“I know when you have nightmares when you hold onto me tight.” You admitted. His eye widened looking over at you. You smiled shyly looking away. You were trying to hide the dark blush on your cheeks but he would always see it. You couldn’t hide it from him.

He could remember the first time he made you blush. It was the first time he saw you with your hair down. When he complemented you ( in his own way that didn’t sound too mean ), you blushed. His heart fluttered how perfect you looked with your cheeks flushed.

“You woke up because I wasn’t in bed this time…” You spoke snapping him out of his own thoughts.

“I thought in a marriage there was no such thing as secrets.” He joked dryly.

You laughed covering your mouth with your hand. He noticed some faint scars on your hand. He remembered that scar. He remembers all the scars on every inch of your body. He would kiss them gently some nights making your breathing hitch. He would kiss the scar on your neck the most. He felt that needed the most attention. The day he almost lost you for good.

You were fighting alongside him against Zeke for the first time.

That’s when Levi realizes his feelings for you.

He stood by your side whenever he can, waiting for you to recover. He would even read out loud to you. When you woke up a few days later, you asked him to re-read the sentence he just read because you couldn’t hear him.

What nearly broke him when he thought you drank the wine with the spinal fluid.

Thankfully you didn’t but he confessed his feelings for you the same night. Yes, it was inappropriate for a caption to be with his cadet but he didn’t care about his title or yours in that moment. Levi just needed you to know in case something happened. He was ready to hear your rejection but when you confessed your own feelings for him, he was relieved.

That’s when Zeke did the explosion, Levi had enough time to push you off the wagon leaving him to suffer the injuries alone. He doesn’t regret it. He’ll do it all over again.

“Is this how you pictured how things would be after?” You asked him gently. Levi closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them. His dull gray eyes staring into yours.

“Yes and no.”

“That’s not a fair answer, Captain Levi.”

“Name.”

“Sorry.” You held your hands up in defense. He sighed softly.

“Yes, I pictured this after the rumbling. Marrying you, having a normal life with you. Just being with you in peace. What I didn’t expect was to be like this.” He glanced down at his hand again that bandaged up from the fingers he lost from that explosion. “I wasn’t much of a looker then but god look at me now.” He let out a sad chuckle. You frowned, feeling your heart aching. Was he serious right now? You thought Levi was the most handsome man you ever met. You were drawn to his dark gray hues. During the day they would glisten.

“Levi, don’t think that. You’re still handsome to me and always will be.”

“Don’t feed me that shit, name.” Levi scoffed. His stubbornness was still the same as before. You sighed and rested your chin on your hand letting him ramble on his negativity. “Probably see me as a pity case.”

“If that’s so, why do we still make love four times a week?” You questioned. When you looked over to your husband who was silent but red in the face. You felt your lips curl up into a smirk. “Cat got your tongue, captain Levi? Oh I’m sorry, I forgot to mention how we fuck multiple times. All night if I don’t tap out.” You purred in a tone you knew was his weakness. Levi shifted a bit in his seat then brought his left hand to clear his throat.

“Shut it you brat.”

You simply smiled at your victory.

“I love you, Levi. I don’t know why you can’t accept that.”

“You deserve better.”

“So do you.” You replied back. Levi glared at you once again.

“How can you say that shit?”

“Because you’re saying it so why not?” You shrugged then got up to pour yourself that tea you swore it was cold by now. Levi’s eye scanned down to your body how it hid underneath his white shirt. When you would lift to reach something it exposed some of your bare flesh underneath. He held his breath for a moment.

“I just…hope this is what you want.” His voice spoke. You didn’t turn around. Your eyes glanced down at your cup you were holding. Your ring finger was empty but the silver band stood on your nightstand with your glass of water that was empty now. Levi would always bring you a glass of water before bed.

“I want to spend my life with you, Levi. We’re at peace now. You’re at peace. You deserved this. You risked your life so many times. Everyday it’s a struggle for you to live with what happened. But we can do it together, just trust me?”

You turned with glossy eyes staring back over to him. He used his strength to stand up on his own for a moment. Then he made his way over to you. Once he was close enough, he placed his hand on your cheek just studying your face.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings…I’m just scared to lose you.” He confessed not trying to make eye contact with you. You placed your hand on his cheek and stroked it with your thumb. You stroked over the scars left behind by the stitches on his face you did for him. “I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

“I survived to live a life with you, Levi.”

You whispered then leaned forward to place your lips against his. His arm wrapped around your waist to bring you closer to his body. His lips moved against yours passionately. He pushed his body against yours causing your lower back to press against the counter. You let out a shaky breath when he broke the kiss then started to kiss along your neck. His fingers trailed down to the buttons on your shirt. Just when you were going to close your eyes and enjoy his lips sucking on your skin you were interrupted.

“Mommy? Daddy?”

You both pulled away at the same time to see a groggy toddler with messy dark hair all over the place. He hugged his stuffed bear tightly with his other arm.

“Hi baby.” You greeted him softly making. Levi straighten your shirt making sure the buttons were still in tact.

“What are you doing up, hm?” Levi asked him. The toddler frowned with his gray eyes half open.

“I wanna sleep with you and mama.” He made grabby hands towards him. He shook his head.

“Sorry kid, you have to go sleep in your bed like a big boy.” Your son sniffed and his big gray eyes began to water. Of course you were a sucker but you didn’t expect for Levi to be the one who caved in. “Tsk. Fine. Just for tonight.” Levi grabbed his cane and began to walk back into your bedroom. The little boy’s eyes beamed, making you giggle quietly. You brought the two cups to the sink thinking you were in the clear.

“Clean those damn cups.” Levi’s voice echoed from the bedroom.

You sucked your teeth with an eye roll.

“I’ll clean them in the morning.” You entered the bedroom seeing Levi already in bed. He leaned over to bring his son into bed. He snuggled up against his father, sighing happily feeling his warmth. You went over to your side on the bed to lay next to your son.

Levi always spoke about not wanting children. You didn’t have a clear answer if you wanted them or not. Some days you did but bringing them in a world like this wasn’t fair either. But finding out you were pregnant on your wedding day was a surprise. It meant you were pregnant during the fight that stopped the rumbling.

It was a miracle the child growing inside of you survived. But he’s a fighter like his father.

Asher Levi Ackerman.

A fortunate blessing for you both.

You leaned against the headboard stroking Asher’s hair as his eyes began to close.

“He looks just like you.” You whispered to Levi as you moved some of Asher’s dark hair out of his face. He smiled a bit.

“You think so?”

“Everyone says it. He looks nothing like me.”

“But he acts like you. A brat.”

You reached over to shove him playfully. It made him chuckle.

“Sleep, name. We have a long day at the shop tomorrow.”

“Fuck me.” You mumbled under your breath with a groan.

“Maybe tomorrow.”

Levi laid down and closed his eyes hearing you giggle quietly before drifting back to sleep. You laid down staring at your son and husband cuddling with one another. You could tell Levi’s nightmare was over for the night. You soon drifted into a deep slumber.

And yes, you did forget to wash the teacups in the sink

But Levi washed them before opening the tea shop for the day but he did remember to scold you about it.

[zeynsdiary]

ADDICTED | Bruised And Broken

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 3k

warnings: kidnapping, fight scene, torturing, mention of blood and wounds, burning reader’s skin (idk how to word it better), implied past intimate scene (type of), sexual tension

author’s note: sooo this is my first post after a while of not writing anything so you can think of it as a warm up and if you enjoyed this part make sure to check my masterlist. There is no other right now (lol) but I hope there will be :) And thank you for giving a chance to my fic. Love youu

Ropes tight around ankles. upside down and the whole world is spinning. In the middle of nowhere with no possible contact with the organization.

I am fucked, badly. You thought.

No ending tortures just to make you speak -even the thought was ridiculous honestly-.

Questions about Mujin, Dongcheon, the business. All the stuff they had nothing to do with.

It all started a lot prettier.

First try, sweet offers and kind talks. "Tell us this and you will never have to worry about money ever again." lame, you thought. After the very first time that they offered you money all you could think about was how much you would give away to see Mujin’s reaction. You could see his handsome face in the back of your eyes. His intimidating gaze, the between his lips as a side slightly raises up in a mocking way. Only a fool would believe that money could buy loyalty. That it would lead them to success, power. Mujin knew better.

Then they took a stupid guess. Thinking you were not accepting their offer cause you were scared. "Don’t be afraid of mujin, we'll protect you." they said. Little did they also knew they didn't stood a chance. They liked to think that they could.

Sooner or later they realized they were going nowhere with offers. Then they decided on something else. Second try, threat.

Nothing did the job.

You wondered how many days had been since the first knife blow that drew your belly red with your own blood, now the whole fucking room was covered of it, let alone your bruised body. You kept blaming yourself , how did you not realize that their loyalty no longer served for Mujin. How you fell right into their traps all alone. A part of you didn't even wanted to be saved. Even the imagination of Mujin’s disappointed eyes hurt you more than any wound on your body. You were not ready to face the real one. Your body was getting weaker every passing day with the lack of food and the countless hits you endured every few hours. You did not have much time, you could feel it.

The sudden bucket of water pouring down your body woke you from your unconscious state. The man with the ugly smile stood before you upside down. His hand grabbing a fist full of your hair to bring your face closer as he smiled. "Wakey wakey, dollface." he was unnesecarelly loud. "Do you feel like talking today?" he asked. His smile grew like he was happy by your lack of response. It used to piss him off. You frowned, your guts telling you to open your eyes to see what he was up to. So you forced them to and realized the mini red gas cylinder. "You know dollface, I've been thinking lately what should I do to you next. Then guess what, I saw this." his voice was sadistic as he pointed to the red gas cylinder. "And I had an idea. I thought I should get rid of that tatto and maybe then you would start acting less like a fucking loyal dog, huh? You'll be less of being like one of them and who knows maybe you would use that pretty little mouth of yours and give me what I want. Huh, how about that ?" he asked you as if you were talking about weather.

You sick bastard, you wanted to say only if you had the energy for it. But even though you gave him no reaction, the thought of your tatto getting ruined made your heart ache. The tatto was not just a symbol, it was a reminder. A reminder that you belonged to somewhere. That you were not alone.

He walked to the red cylinder with a thong in his hand, he was holding a round metal piece in the size of the tatto with it. He heated the metal as a manicing smile formed on his lips, he was enjoying this. When he was satisfied with its temperature, he walked back to you. "Are you ready dollface?" it wasn't really a question. Without giving you to get ready for the incoming pain he pressed the hot metal on your chest. And he finally made you scream out of pain. Only for a moment, though. You quickly studied yourself and kept all of it in. He didn't like it, he wanted to hear that scream again and again. After reheating the metal he came back. He pressed it on your chest without waiting a second. "Anything that comes to your mind that you'd like to share with me?" his sarcasm making your ears bleed. You couldn't held back your screams and you cursed yourself for giving him the satisfaction.

Then something happened, you heard a door breaking. After that, the chaos followed. You would recognized the voice of blade cutting through someone's skin at anytime and now wasn't the exception.

The organization will protect you.

Now it was your time to smirk at his face. To enjoy every bit of his smirk fading and leaving its place to panic. He threw the thong away and rushed to the side to release the knot on the rope and slowly lowered you to the floor. He grabbed one of the knifes he's been using on you and released your ankles but wrists remained tied together. He was aware how little time he had and he was panicking. He dragged you to your feet and pressed your back on his front with a knife pressed to your neck. You couldn't move a muscle while they waited facing the door, waiting for the storm to come in. You didn't have the energy.

Eyelids too heavy and mind too dizzy. But every inch of your body felt his presence. No aura can compete, no traitor can no longer breathe.

You forced your eyes open, every bit of you were craving to feel his eyes. But also afraid of what you might find there.

Mujin stood still and took in what was in front of him. A table full of all type of tools, most of them tinted red, ruined clothes next to it. Your blood all over the place, all wounds and bruises on display. His eyes finally landed on yours.

There he was, looking way too perfect right in front of you. Looking as presentable as ever while you stood in your underwear's in front of all those man. Bruised and broken. You saw something in his eyes for a split second, an emotion. But what was it?

Sympathy? Disappointment? Or worse, pity? No, no. Please don't be pity.

You would be more ashamed by it more than all the gazes on your too bare skin. How ironic, isn’t it?

The man behind you tightened his grip, "Stay away. If I die, she dies." he was playing his last cards. There was no way out of this for him. He knew it too. You gulped and turn your eyes to Taeju. His eyes were burning with rage as he took in your state. You also took in his. Hair a little messy, some blood stains on his shirt. None of his own. The thought made your lips quirk a little. Of course none of it was his own. Then you saw the blade in his hand and you found your plan to get out of the mans grip. You and Taeju locked eyes, you knew he read right through your eyes but Taeju saw nothing that he liked there. You felt Mujin’s eyes too. He was well aware that you were up to something. You communicated well in silence. Both man trying to make you stop with their eyes. You kept your eyes on Taeju, cause if you saw the order in his eyes you would have no other option but obey him. You did not want that.

Taeju shook his head in a slow motion. But gulped with acceptance when he saw the determination in your eyes.

You no longer could hear any of the threats the guy swayed around. Only kept your eyes locked with your partner as you waited for the right moment to make your move.

Just when the guy pointed his knife through them instead of your neck you collected every energy remaining in your system and get back in your fighting mode. You threw your head back in full force. The guy groaned in pain with the unexpected hit and released his grip around your body. With a swift motion you kicked the wrist of the hand that he held the knife with. As the knife hit the floor you also dropped to the very same cold floor and leave the rest to your partner. Taeju threw his knife right on the guys neck without waiting a second and rushed to your side.

Mujin was faster. The moment he read the situation he step further and catch you before you hit your head.

The drug lord, on his knees, what a sight.

Mujin quickly took his jacket off and wrapped it around your almost naked body. You were nearly unconscious in his arms. Couldn't keep your eyes open. Even the little bit healed wounds were open back with your kick. Your shallow breaths were signs of your hurt.

You needed a professional's help, quick.

Without leaving a time for you to protest Mujin took your whole body in his hold and carried you with an arm on your back and the other under your legs. Your head resting on his chest. Your last words were: "I'm sorry."

…

Two weeks has passed while you were unconscious. Mujin brought you to the temple after your rescue. Made sure you were well taken care of and safe. He came to visit you every other day and ordered Taeju to do so at the days that he couldn't. You were his second subordinate, your health mattered. And that was the only reason of his worries and sleepless nights while you were nowhere to be found. He deceived himself into thinking that that was it.

He may or may not succeed it.

There were some things Mujin never welcomed in his organization nor his business. But the top of the list belonged to the traitors. He worked extra hard on the topic after the incident. Making sure the same thing never happens ever again. He blamed himself just like you blamed yourself.

I shouldn’t have send her there alone. I should have been more careful.

While Mujin was on his car driving, you woke up. Slowly recognizing where you were, you knew the place. Your whole body aching, you slowly got up. Trying to remember what happened, you walked to the full length mirror. Carefully holding the sweater up to check on your wounds. It was hard to tell, all of it was covered with white bandages. Eyeing around the room, everything looked like how you remembered it. The only new thing was the folded clothes and a hair tie on the wooden desk, waiting for you. An idea of fresh shower became too hard to resist and you took the clothes and walked to the bathroom.

Warm water running through your body was relaxing with a little bit of pain. You took the wet bandages off to replace them after shower with fresh ones. You checked your wounds, they looked better than you last remembered but they still needed time to fully recover. You took your time in the shower and after shower. Re-bandaged yourself with the kit in the bathroom, brushed your hair with your fingers as best as you could. Then you decided to braid your hair like you do it all the time while you work. A part of your unique uniform, giving that you are the only female in the Dongcheon. While the men wears black suits with white shirt, your uniform was looking presentable. By all means. Mostly wearing black or white, hair usually braided and that was it.

You opened the door to get back in the room without knowing you had a visitor. Boss. Mujin.

He was dressed in all black with a long coat. His cigarette between his lips, a hand in the pocket. watching outside from the open doors. He turned his face to acknowledge you. You quickly bowed after you two made an eye contactact.

You were tense and he was aware.

"Did I kept you waiting for too long?" You asked after a while to fill the silence.

He took a long drag of his cigarette before he answered, "Hmm."

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything back. Kept smoking his cigarette in silence. After standing next to door for a whole minute watching him awkwardly you decided to do your own business. You grabbed the hair tie on the desk and went back to the mirror. Your back turned to Mujin so that you could act like he wasn't there and unnerve your tensed muscles. Right when you saw your reflection in the mirror you realized that you did not wear the sweater on after bandaging yourself.

Nothing he hadn't seen multiple times before anyway but...

Another realization midway, you were right in front of him with only a bra on your upper body and he didn't even glance.

You gulped, how should I feel about that?

You could have linger on that thought for way longer if you didn't get distracted by something else. Your tattoo. No, your ruined tatto. You held out your arms to braid your hair with your eyes focused on your chest. Something was hurting, either the cuts on your arms or your heart, you didn't know. Like how you didn't know there was another pair of eyes on your body. Watching you secretly.

When you turned your back to him, Mujin started watching you more freely. He saw the look on your face and didn't like what it made him feel. He took long steps and stopped right behind you. He held your hands in your hair and whispered, "Let me,". He slowly pulled the hair tie from your wrist, taking his time while doing so, enjoying the little contact you were sharing.

You took a deep breath and obeyed. Letting your hands drop to your sides.

Mujin caught the rhythm change on your breathing and your muscles tensing. Your figure standing straighter, he was well aware of your body reacting to him. He braided your wet hair, his fingers touching your skin then and there. He caught on the shivers too.

You watched him through the mirror. Carefully working on your hair, gentle as ever. His scent mixed with cigarette filling your insides. You didn't realize how much you missed it until he was this close.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a low tone.

You decided to be honest, "Hurts but nothing unbearable."

Silence, again. It was your turn to fill it.

"I’m sorry." You apologized again. You both knew what it was for.

He remained silent, finishing the braid. Your head dropped down. You needed him to say something, anything. Every passing second tightened in your chest. Desperate for his reaction, to know what he was thinking of the situation, of you.

Mujin tied your hair and gently held your arms at both sides. He silently smelled your hair. Loud enough to make you suspicious of it, not enough to be sure whether he did it or not.

You turned around, thinking about apologizing again. You were not ready to look in his eyes just yet but when he held your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up. You knew it was a silent command.

Look at me.

You obeyed, like always.

"It wasn’t your fault."

Right when you opened your mouth to say otherwise he closed it for you. "It wasn’t."

You looked in his dark eyes, you felt relieved. He didn't look disappointed in you, you could finally let out the breath she was holding in now.

Faces too close, lips inches apart. You wondered who you were right now.

Boss and his subordinate? CEO and his servant? Muse and his admirer? Or just Mujin and Aera?

While you were deep in thoughts Mujin’s hand snaked to the back of your neck from your chin. Holding you form as he pressed his lips to your temple. Too light to consider as a kiss but still there.

You held yourself back from clinging to his collar and beg for more. Afraid of losing the little contact you were having so you stood still.

"I'm glad you are okay."

His voice too low you thought you imagined it, almost. Without giving you time to process any part of this interaction, he stepped back. Putting distance between your bodies before it gets risky. You were too stunned to speak, to move.

"You need to rest." he was leaving.

He took off a phone from his pocket and handed to you. "Contact us if you need anything."

In another word: you are staying here.

You simply nodded, there was no use of denying him.

You watched him leave through the door without another glance.

Boss and his subordinate. You decided on. But at least his.

Lmk if you wanna be tagged babes :)

[mrsmnsn]

The “first date”

summary: After figuring out you liked each other, you and Eddie started dating. Your first interaction wasn’t the way he planned, so he decided to take you out on a proper date.

warnings: MDNI 18+; virgin!reader; fluff; some nerdy references (star wars troop); oral!fem!receiving; shitty writing- sorry about that.

author’s note: Hey guys, i saw how much everyone enjoyed Eddie’s Valentine story so i decided to make a second part. It took me longer then i thought to post this, but my classes at college just started so i’m still adjusting my schedule.

After what happened, you spent the rest of the morning talking in bed. You couldn't believe you actually got the courage to make a move on him. Even if it was to offer a little help with his "issue". And this was one of the many things that surprised you today. The fact that Eddie liked you back was insane. In your mind, Eddie only saw you as a girl friend. A girl he could talk about everything and nothing. Of course sometimes you caught him looking at you in was different way, but you didn't want to get delusional.

And for Eddie, he was meaning to make a move on you since he realized he was head over heels for you. But he honestly thought you would say it was way too weird to be with him this way. In a romantic way. But what is best then dating your best friend. The only thing that changed was the intimacy of things. So that's why he'd never said anything. Till this day.

"How come both of us liked each other but never did anything?" Eddie asked with one arm under his head and the other wrapped around your waist. You were laying on his chest, listening to his heart beating. You don't know how to feel about this yet. Forty minutes ago, you were still "just friends". And now you're all over each other.

"I guess i was just so scared to lose my best friend that I stayed quiet. It was better to have you in that way than not having you at all." You were being honest with yourself and with him, trying to figure it out why have you kept these feelings as a secret.

"Well i'm glad you released your horny devil today" That made you laugh and he joined you. "But to be honest, it's not how i imagined."

"What do you mean?" You got up on your elbows to see his face, a little scared from his confession. Didn't he just said that he liked it?

"I actually imagined that i would have the guts to ask you out and take you in a very nice date. Very romantic. And then, after the normal stuff normal people do, i could actually try to kiss you. But i guess we're not normal." With your eyes locked, he caressed your cheek.

"Yeah, here we start being naughty!" You said in a playful tone with a wicked grin that only made him laugh. You always loved his smile.

"I guess because we took things a little too fast, this is still kind of... unbelievable for me. Do you feel it too?" You asked, concerned you're the only one feeling this.

"Yeah. Kind of. It feels like it's a dream, right?" He asked and you nodded. "But i'm sure this is going to be as normal as last night was. It's just a matter of time. Also, just in case you didn’t realize it yet, you're my girlfriend now lady, you're stuck with me."

"Oh no! What am i gonna do?" You got out of his chest dramatically and he grabbed you again making you laugh

"Really sweetheart, i don't want you to think you'll have to act differently or anything like that. I don't want you to. I like you the way you are. All goofy and funny and sweet ." He said looking at your lips

"Look at you, all over me, aren't ya?" You said as if you weren't feeling the same

"Yeah, you got me."

After that day, you've been dating, and you couldn't be happier. You waited the whole week for saturday, which was the day of your first official date. That's how Eddie called it. Of course, he didn't want to forget what happened in that morning. But he wanted you to feel extra special. Not just some random girl.

So, he decided to take you to the drive in. This events normally happened at summer, but it was just what he wanted. Something simple, but romantic, where you two could spend time together, watching movies and maybe make out in the middle of it. It was a part of your routine together, watching movies. So, in his head, this would make you both very comfortable with the whole situation of the 'first date'.

He parked his van in front of your house right on time. He pressed the doorbell and there you were. With a cute sweater and a skirt. He loved when you wore skirts. It made your legs look so tempting.

"What do you think? Fancy enough for you mister?" You said looking down at your clothes.

"Oh my lady, you look very fancy. Come on, give me a twirl." You did it and, dramatic in his own way, he put his hand on his chest "You look amazing, sweetheart."

"Thank you, Eds" He always loved when you called him like that. Now, it was even more special.

He drove you both to the location. Even though there was a lot of cars in front of you, you had a great view of the screen. It was only ten minutes before the movie started, so he went to buy you some snacks and drinks to survive through the night. It was a marathon of star wars. The three movies. "A New Hope", "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi".

The sun was starting to set when he came back. His curls in the golden light just made him look more like an angel to you.

"Here you go. I'm pretty sure we can survive with this, but if you want more, just tell me, a'right?" He insisted on buying the food, not letting you pay for anything

"That's perfect, thanks!"

Through the first movie, you didn't say a word, trying to understand everything in the movie. You always found it very confusing. Alright, maybe you were containing yourself to not put your hand on his thigh or your head on his shoulder.

Eddie also stayed in silence, too anxious to do something and fuck up the night. It was not his thing, getting anxious about girls. It was actually something he was confident. But with you, was a whole different story. He wanted to be closer to you. He was trying to find a way to get you to stay closer to him without being desperate. So he started putting one hand in your thigh. Your warm skin contrasted with his cold hand. He didn't missed the way your eyes went wide the second he touched you.

They gave a break of ten minutes to start the second movie. Now it was dark outside.

"Are you sure you don't want anything else? There is a big line there but i can go, if you want." He still had his hand on your tight.

"Yes, there is enough here." You assured him. You could see he was nervous. He’d made the first move… you could only follow his lead. "I'm just wondering here. This is a date, right?"

"Yes..."

"Don't you think this big space between us is useless? You can get closer Eddie." You said leaving his cheeks with the cutest shade of red

"I'm sorry, i didn't wanted to be too desperate" He said putting his arm around your shoulder and, without thinking too much, you placed your head on his shoulder. Eddie was in heaven. He had the girl of his dreams right by his side.

In the middle of the second movie you were still in the same position. You decided to move but, with the sudden shift, you exchanged looks. For the first time of the night, you were inches away from his lips. You couldn't help but want to kiss him so bad. Feeling the same as you, Eddie placed his hand on your cheek and brought you closer until your lips met. His lips were soft. His scent invaded your nose.

Your kiss changed from passionate to desperate very quickly. Your hands got greedy, wanting to touch him everywhere you could. In need to breathe, you separate. Panting in each other's mouth, Eddie hold your face with his both hands.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, i think we can't stay this close. I can't hold myself." He said making you smile.

"I don't think we're going to be able to pay attention on the movie anymore." Giggling, you hold his hands. "What if i said that i don't want you to control yourself?"

He separated a bit more so he could look inside your eyes. His eyes were wide open, shocked.

"I know you wanted to be a gentleman and all, but i've been thinking about this for the whole week. And remember that little horny devil? He's greedy now. More than ever." You said pressing your tights together. You weren't lying. Since he said he was going to take you on a date, you've been expecting for all the things that could happen. And you wanted to.

He was speechless. It was cute.

"I know, maybe i'm being too excited about everything. But i want it and i thought that if i had to wait for you to make a move, we would do it on the seventh date or something" He giggled at that. You were right, he thought. He wanted that too. But he would never force you to do something he knows that you didn't have much experience and you could be a little insecure. He wanted you to feel safe. He finally said something.

"Are you sure? I told you, remember? We don't have to do anything you don't want to. Especially when we're in this kind of ‘first date’ situation where we feel like we have to do stuff." You kissed him again. All you wanted was him.

"I'm sure. You said yourself remember. We’re not like the normal couples."

"Really? You know, we're in a public place ma'am. You little perv." He said making you both laugh

"So... What are your moves, huh? Gonna do it here with my clothes on or you're going to take me to the back?" You pulled his shirt to you and kissed him again.

He took your hand and pulled you to the back of the van. There was some pillows and blankets on the back.

"You were planning to do this?" You asked getting closer to him again

"I was going to take you to stargaze, actually. But you turned me on now. We'll do it later, kay?" And he kissed you.

Your kiss, like before, was hot. Craving for each other's touch. You couldn’t help but smile at the situation. Two horny teenagers in the back of a van making out like your life depends on it. Your hands travel through his chest down to his lower belly, pulling his shirt up.

"I honestly don't believe you when you say to me you're a virgin" You giggle to his reaction but stoped immediately. With his shirt off, his bare torso was in front of you. The black ink contrasting with the pale skin. You could keep looking at him shirtless for hours. But you wanted something else.

He changed your positions and looked in your eyes one more time, asking for your permission. You give it to him not thinking twice. So he takes your sweater and skirt off, leaving you only with your underwear. Thank god i piked matching ones today, you think to yourself. He kept looking to the white cotton set you chose.

“They’re pretty cute” He said earning a slap from you. “Sorry. I meant it, though.”

Smiling at him, you pulled him closer again by his necklace hanging above you only to stop inches from his lips.

“Why don’t you take ‘em off and see how cute i am without any clothes?” You said proud of yourself for being this bold. His reaction was priceless.

His hands were caressing you carefully, every move with love and affection. With you naked in front of him, his instinct was to drown himself in your neck, your chest, belly. Kissing all over your skin, making you squirm. You could feel his body heat hovering over you. Too overwhelmed by his actions, you try to take his pants off. You needed him.

“Easy there. I think we have plenty of time sweetheart.” He said taking your hands in his. He only laughed at the way you pouted. “I want to make you feel good. So why don’t you lay here and relax?” He dropped your hands, not before kissing them, and went down on your body. “It’s the only thing i could do after what you did for me last week. You were so good.” His warm breath hovered your mound and you twitched.

Not wasting any more time, he licked your clit and you gasped. You’ve never got head before. This was a new different thing for you. But oh, how you loved it. You’ve only felt some kind of pleasure there by your own fingers. But the way Eddie’s tongue kept moving and twisting around, it was a new addiction to your list. Your hands were attached to the blanket under you. You were trying so hard to not let any sound slip from your lips.

“Does it feel good?” He changed his tongue for his fingers and smiled to see you struggling to keep quiet. Not able to speak, you only nodded. Deciding to push things a little bit, he thrust his tongue inside you and you couldn’t hold the moan that came from your throat. Eddie lost his mind. He grew his movements faster than before, wanting to hear that again. He was glad that you only let them out now, or he would’ve cum in his pants by then.

Everything was so good. His tongue and fingers on your pussy and his free hand pressing your hip down so you kept quiet in place. His burning gaze on you, his hair tickling your thighs. His hot breath coming out of his nose and hitting your mound. You couldn’t take it anymore. You stopped him and pulled him up. He was confused until you kissed him. You could feel your taste on his tongue and how his chin was wet by your own slick.

“I-I need you inside me” You said gasping for air. Eddie felt his cock twitch in his boxers. Your voice was hoarse by pleasure.

He took off his jeans and boxers, almost falling down. You giggled at his tongue poking out while he searched through his wallet for a condom. “I hope this is not in there for five years. You know, condoms can expire” You joke trying to act casual seeing his dick again.

“Ha ha, very funny missy.” His voice full of sarcasm only made you laugh. He was crawling his way up to you when you both heard it. Dart Vader’s imperial march was playing. Probably the last movie had just started. You cracked, laughing hard at the situation. You even forgot where you were.

“Who are we kidding, of course in our first time having sex, Dart Vader is going to be marching towards us. It’s your fault” He said playfully

“My fault?! Why?” You asked amused

“Because you’re goofy. There’s no other reason.” You looked inside his eyes. Both of you still smiling. You just had to squeeze his arm so he knew he could move. And that’s what he did.

Slowly, his ran his tip against your wet folds and thrusted inside you. You closed your eyes, feeling his length stretching you open. It burned, making tears swell up in your eyes. Once he bottomed out, you both moaned. Giving you a few seconds to get accustomed to this new feeling, he caressed your waist, grounding you back to him.

He started to thrust slowly into you. It felt like your lungs were out of air. With each thrust of his hips, that started to get a rhythm. The muscles of his arms were flexed, his necklace was swinging, and the hands that before were caressing you, were now holding your hips for goddamn life.

“Holy fuck, you’re so tight” His eyes closed for a second, trying to hold his load a little longer. You watched every move of his. He looked amazing. It didn’t take much time for his dick to reach that spot you struggled to find. It drove you crazy. You arched your back and that made Eddie go faster. You were biting your lip but it wasn’t working anymore. If there was anyone around the van, they would probably hear your moans.

Eddie was also a mess. He wanted to freeze this moment in his mind forever. You looked perfect to him. The sounds you were making, his eyes were rolling back. Your boobs were bouncing up and down with each thrust of his. He looked down where your bodies met and saw the bulge in your lower belly, he didn’t know how long he would take.

“You’re doing so good sweetheart” He pressed kisses on your neck. You weren’t able to talk, but you pulled his hair bringing him closer to you, if that was possible. He groaned feeling you clench around him. He could feel how close you were. Once again, he massaged your clit bringing you to the edge. “Come on princess, cum for me. Just let it go” and with that, you were gone.

“Fuck Eddie” Was the only thing you said.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

You could only think of him. Your nails scratched his back, your feet pressing on his but so he could go even deeper. Your orgasm washed all over you. With you clenching impossibly tighter around him, Eddie was also gone, cumming hard, biting on your shoulder to control his grutal moans.

When your breathing went back to normal with time, he came out of you taking off his condom and laying by your side.

“You think the van bounced too much?” He said breaking the silence. You laughed at his silliness.

“No. Otherwise people would have come here to ruin everything.” You look at him but he was already looking at you. “They might’ve heard us, though.”

“Nah, they’re nerdy people. They’re probably fantasizing about princess Leia now.” As if if wasn’t a nerd too. “You want to get out of here and go stargazing” He said putting a lock of hair behind your ear.

“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” You pecked him on the lips and got up to put your clothes back on.

And that’s how you wrap up the night. He drove you both to a place where you could see the stars. You kept talking and eating the rest of your candy from the movie. Your first date couldn’t be more perfect than that

[dazzlingjaeyun]

ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ – ᴋɪᴍ ꜱᴜɴᴏᴏ

music business major!sunoo x fem!reader

୨୧ genre: love at first sight – college au!, fluff |  words: 5.7k | cw: alcohol consumption, sunoo is just very in love and this is lowkey cliché ୨୧

hanna says: i originally wrote this one for euijoo on my &team blog, so in case this seems familiar to anyone; yes, i plagiarized myself. thank you to @brklynbabyjay for reading over this and reassuring me with it and thank you to @jayparked for putting me onto the idea of cross-posting my stuff in the first place (and the constant encouragement) <3

sunoo had never been the type to receive a lot of attention from others. he wasn't disliked, he just went unnoticed – overlooked, despite his bright and outgoing personality. but he didn't mind. he liked it that way; being in his own little bubble that consisted of more or less boring classes, late night studying, his favourite tv shows, and weekends spent on jam sessions with his best friend jay. it was peaceful like that and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

until he met you.

sunoo was squeezing through the crowded college hallways, lost in thought about the upcoming exam period, and mentally organizing how to spread out all the study materials over the next two weeks, when a bright, unfamiliar laugh pierced through the haze of his thoughts.

almost instantly, his eyes found the source of the sound – and he swore he could feel his heart sink. for a moment, he stood frozen, completely taken aback as he took in the image a few feet away from him. the way he could see your eyes light up even from the distance and how you seemed to outshine everyone else without even trying. how the smile you wore made his heart pound heavily against his chest, its warmth embracing him and leaving him unable to look away.

it wasn’t until a dull ache in his shoulder brought him back to reality that he finally gathered his thoughts.

"how about not standing in the middle of the hallway," sunoo heard an irritated student mutter as they walked around his frozen figure. mumbling a half-hearted apology, the boy quickly stepped aside.

when he looked back at you, you were gone, the spot that where you were standing just moments ago now empty – yet somehow, the warmth of your laugh seemed to stay. sunoo quickly shook his head as if that could change the fact that it suddenly seemed to only have space for you. out of sight, out of mind? hell no.

as he continued his way to the cafeteria, he tried hard to not allow you to consume his thoughts, but it was no use. it was almost ridiculous, he thought, how just about twenty seconds of seeing you could completely take over his mind. he didn't even know your name, and until two minutes ago, he hadn’t known you existed at all.

determined to not let his mind’s chaos show on his face, sunoo tightened his grip around the straps of his backpack and took a deep breath before stepping into the cafeteria and scanning the room for his best friend.

"sunoo! everything good?" jay greeted him once the younger found him sitting at a table.

"yes," he replied, almost a little too quickly. "why wouldn't everything be good?"

jay furrowed his brows, leaning back in his chair a bit, and scanned his best friend's face carefully. "you know," he started, "i usually ask. but honestly, today you're being weird about it." jay crossed his arms in front of his chest. "so, what's up?"

sunoo quickly looked down, knowing damn well he couldn’t lie to his friend face-to-face, and silently cursed himself for trying too hard to hide how he really felt. he'd always been awkward when trying to play it cool, and jay was too much of an attentive friend to not notice.

"nothing," he mumbled after a while, "i'm just stressing over exams, i guess."

jay sighed slightly. "you know you'll ace it, you always do. why do you have to panic first?"

sunoo simply shrugged as he picked up his cutlery, attempting to focus on his lunch and jay’s familiar ramble about finding healthy ways to relieve stress that had heard so often he could recite it by now – attempting to not let his thoughts drift back to you.

yet, even days later, sunoo couldn’t erase the short moment from his mind, the sound of your laugh replaying in his head like a broken record. he found himself scanning the hallways more often, hoping to catch even a small glimpse of you. he told himself he’d approach you next time, but whenever he did spot you, his body felt frozen and his feet rooted in place.

jay was quick to catch on. the two were sitting on the lawn near campus after some hours of studying together in the library. sure, both were exhausted, but sunoo seemed a little quieter than usual.

"you’ve been acting weird lately," jay said after some moments of silence, a hint of concern coating his words, "what's going on? is it really just exams?"

sunoo tried to brush it off with a shrug. "it's nothing, just a lot on my mind."

jay raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. just as he was about to respond, he noticed the younger’s eyes slightly widen at something. while sunoo wondered how you always somehow managed to be exactly where he was, watching you a moment longer than he intended, jay followed his friends gaze and understood immediately.

"a lot on your mind? or someone on your mind? so, who is she?"

feeling his cheeks heat up just from being caught red-handed, sunoo immediately averted his gaze and looked down. "just–”, after a longer pause, he sighed, “actually, i don't know." 

the corners of jay’s lips jumped up into a grin at sunoo’s blushed cheeks. "you don't know? so you’ve never talked to her? sunoo, come on, you’re the most sociable person i know!”

sunoo frowned, pursing his lower lip into a slight pout. "it’s not that easy. i don’t even know where to start. 'hi, i've been secretly watching you for a while now cause you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen?' will surely go well," he said sarcastically.

"it’s not rocket science," jay said with a laugh. "you don’t have to confess that you’re hopelessly in love with someone you barely know, sunoo. you just go up and say hi. you do know how to say hi, right?"

sunoo groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend’ remark. “i don’t know how to just... approach her like that. look, i never struggled to talk to anyone, but with her i just– i don’t know. i get nervous.”

“okay”, jay said, nodding understandingly, “then we’re gonna fix that.”

over the next few days, jay kept pushing him. whenever they passed you in the hallway, he would nudge sunoo’s shoulder and whisper, “now’s your chance,” but every time, sunoo’s nerves would get the best of him. his heart would race, his hands would get all sweaty, and the words he wanted to say would evaporate before he could open his mouth.

but jay, persistent as ever, wouldn’t give up. “look, sunoo,” he said one afternoon, pulling him aside after class, “if you don’t do something soon, someone else will. you don’t want to regret not shooting your shot, do you?” 

sunoo sighed, knowing jay was right – but no matter how much he wanted to approach you, the thought of saying something and making a fool of himself kept holding him back.

one afternoon, in the final week of lectures before exam season officially started, sunoo was sitting in the cafeteria, eating his lunch with jay while grumbling about the little time they had between lectures and exams. he was mid-sentence when jay interrupted him.

“sunoo,” jay said, tilting his head to a table not too far away. turning his head, sunoo spotted you right there. usually, you'd sit with your friends, but this time, you were all by yourself.  

“she's alone, that's your chance,” jay encouraged him yet another time to approach you. the younger opened his mouth to object, but nothing came out – you weren't surrounded by your friends, you weren't rushing to your next class; he didn't have any excuses this time.

"come on. what's the worst that can happen?"

sunoo let his friend’s words sink in. he could think of a few scenarios, each a little more terrifying than the other, yet despite all the doubts, he pushed his chair back, stood up on slightly wobbly knees, and walked over to your table. he didn't understand where his confidence came from, but just as quickly as it did, it disappeared again, when someone else approached you first.

he stopped dead in his tracks, watching as heeseung, whom he only knew as the captain of the college's basketball team, sat down next to you, greeted you with a gentle kiss on your cheek, and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer.

sunoo’s heart dropped, his body freezing yet again. none of his overthinking had included the fact that you might not even be single, and suddenly, he felt stupid. so, so stupid. of course you had a boyfriend. why would someone like you not have a boyfriend?

he turned around, hoping that the way he’d stood there had, as usual, just gone unnoticed by everyone. then, he slowly shuffled back to the table he shared with jay where he sank down in his chair, shoulders slumped and eyes stuck to his still half-full tray of food.

a hint of worry washed over jay’s face as he saw his friends’ expression. he intentionally hadn’t observed the approach, wanting to spare sunoo from feeling watched, but now he couldn’t help but feel a hint of guilt for not knowing if he could have jumped in to help. “what happened?” he asked softly, not sure if he'd even get a reply.

sunoo just shook his head, not lifting his gaze. “nothing. she's with heeseung,” he replied silently. “shit,” jay sighed, running a hand through his hair, “i'm sorry, i had no idea.” again, sunoo shook his head slightly. “whatever. it was stupid to think she’d be single anyway.”

for the first time since he'd started college, sunoo felt genuinely thankful for the stress that came with exam season. he'd get to spend his time studying, sometimes until late at night, and whenever he finally closed his books, he was too exhausted to think about how he felt.although jay tried his best to convince sunoo to take more breaks, the younger thrived on the distraction that studying brought about.

knowing that exams would be the perfect distraction and that he'd head back to his home town to spend the summer break with his family, sunoo felt a little more at ease. he was sure that by the time he'd return to college, he'd be fully unbothered by you. it was a little ridiculous anyway, he tried to convince himself. he couldn’t seriously be upset that his hallway crush had a boyfriend. after all, he still didn’t even know your name, and now he was sure it would stay that way.

during the summer break, sunoo found comfort in returning home, where life around his family and childhood friends felt a little easier and a lot calmer. each day, the thought of you fell further back in his mind and by the time summer break came to an end, sunoo felt lighter. the idea of going back to campus was no longer stressful.

he’d be fine, that's what he told himself – and if he saw you again, so be it.

his resolve lasted exactly one day.

he had almost made it throughout the first day of classes without seeing you even a single time. one last class and he'd finally head to meet up with jay to catch up about the summer.

after settling for a spot near the middle of the room, sunoo pulled out his notebook and glanced around casually as the other students trickled in. just as he was about to grab his phone, a familiar laugh echoed through the room, making sunoo's hand freeze halfway to his pocket.

he didn’t even have to look to know it was you, instead recognizing the sound of your laugh as quickly as his favorite songs. and against his better judgment, he glanced up. there you were, walking in with a friend, that pretty smile on your face that still took sunoo’s breath away so easily. you hadn’t noticed him, but he sure as hell noticed you – and all the progress he thought he’d made over the summer crumbled in an instant.

but before he had time to mentally scold himself for how easily he let himself fall for you all over again, the professor began speaking, announcing the outline for the semester and the project that would take up the majority of the time, continuing with a speech on the importance of teamwork, but sunoo barely listened. 

“i don't want any discussions on who’s working with who, so i'll be deciding the pairs. i expect you to work together respectfully and efficiently,” the professor continued. “alright, raise your hand when your name is called so your partner can find you.”

sunoo zoned out, still trying to push you from his mind, repeating a mantra to himself that he was just caught by surprise and that his heart would stop beating so damn fast once he got used to seeing you again.

"kim sunoo and–" the professor called out, snapping him back to attention, "– y/l/n y/n."

sunoo scanned the room while hesitantly raising his hand. for a second, you seemed to look around too, processing the pairing before your gaze settled on him.

slowly, as if in a daze, he looked up, meeting your eyes for the first time. then, his heart dropped. he could almost feel the air leave the room. it felt like time had slowed down, like every sound in the lecture hall faded except for the heavy drumming of his own heartbeat in his ears. he could feel heat rushing to his face, a lump forming in his throat and his head starting to spin, but he couldn’t look away.

and then, you smiled – just a soft, polite smile. it wasn't much, but sunoo swore the world stopped for a second.

when you turned back toward the front, he didn't even know if he'd returned the smile, if he'd nodded in acknowledgement, or if he'd done absolutely nothing.

throughout the entirety of the class, it became increasingly obvious for sunoo that the weeks of distance had done nothing to change the way he felt about you – that his heart would, in fact, not stop running a marathon each time he saw you. no matter how often, at that. he kept on zoning out, replaying the tiny interaction between you again and again, or looking back to your seat for just a second before he forced himself to look away again.

as the professor ended class, he started packing up his things, and took a deep breath, somehow bracing himself to talk to you. although he had prepared for that moment so long during the last semester – well, at least technically – he found himself hesitating yet again. his palms felt sweaty, and his heart raced faster with every step that brought him closer to where you were gathering your things. his mind raced with a thousand ways to approach the conversation, yet none of them really felt right.

just as he opened his mouth to greet you, you glanced up from your bag, your eyes meeting his for the second time that day. your soft smile appeared again – and sunoo completely forgot what he had planned to say.

"hi, sunoo, right?" you asked instead, not noticing the way you’d completely caught him off guard. your voice was gentle, and somehow it felt like a small bit of relief to hear his name spoken so softly.

sunoo swallowed hard, blinking as if snapping out of a daze. "uh, yeah. that’s me,” he said, managing an awkward laugh. "looks like we’re project partners."

you nodded, still smiling as you stood up. "should we maybe set up a time to meet and figure out a plan?" – such a simple question, and yet sunoo’s heart felt like it was running a marathon. he quickly nodded, "yeah, sure. uh... maybe at the library?"

"perfect," you said, slinging your bag over your shoulder. "how about tomorrow afternoon?"

"tomorrow sounds good," sunoo replied, his mind desperately searching for something else to say. his fingers fidgeted with the straps of his backpack as he added, "we… should we exchange numbers too?"

you smiled again, and sunoo could almost feel the tension melting away, although his pulse was still buzzing in his ears. when you wordlessly handed him your phone, almost brushing his fingers in the process, he just prayed you didn't hear how his breath hitched, quickly typed his number in and handed it back to you. "there you go."

"great! i’ll text you so we can talk about the details. see you tomorrow, sunoo."

with one last smile, you turned and headed out the door, leaving sunoo standing there, still trying to process the fact that not only had you smiled at him – several times – but now you had his number, even if just for coursework purposes.

"what took you so long?" jay frowned at his best friend as he finally approached their usual spot at the lawn.

sunoo plopped himself down next to him, hoping that the blush on his cheeks had faded by now, but jay was already eyeing him suspiciously.

“nothing,” sunoo said as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. but the smile that kept creeping onto his face made jay narrowed his eyes. “yeah, i’m not buying it. that’s not a ‘nothing’ face. so, what happened?”

sunoo let out a long sigh, leaning back on his hands. “you remember that girl… the one from last semester?” he started, feeling his face flush slightly as he spoke.

"yeah, the one you swore you were over?" jay asked, an amused tone lacing his voice as he raised an eyebrow.

sunoo sighed, “i never swore anything.”

“right. so, what happened? did you see her?”

sunoo took a deep breath, feeling almost embarrassed at how easily he’d been caught. “well, she’s in my class."

jay’s eyes lit up. “she’s in your class?”

the younger nodded, “actually... we’re partnered up for the semester project,” he added, his voice a little quieter now. 

jay’s jaw dropped in exaggerated surprise, “no way. the girl you were practically obsessed with is now your project partner? that’s so cliché!”

“obsessed is a strong word,” sunoo protested, even though he’d lie if he said that was too far from the truth.

"you do realize that this is the chance you've been waiting for, right?"

sunoo groaned, "it's not a chance, jay. she's taken, remember? i'm not going to try anything."

jay raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "you cannot know. maybe they broke up," he said, to which sunoo just shot him a pointed look that told him this was the end of their conversation.

in the following weeks, you and sunoo met regularly to work on the project. though the workload was tiring, the way your minds seemed to complement each other perfectly made the process easier than expected. it seemed like you could finish all of his thoughts when he struggled, and he had all the answers to your questions.

it should have been a relief for sunoo to know that the project wasn’t going to be impossible and you might even finish everything without working overtime (read: without him needing to spend extra hours trying his best to not act way too awkward around you). instead, the fact that beyond the pretty face that still left him breathless you were also incredibly smart made things only harder for him.

during the time you spent together, he couldn't help but notice little things about you that he hadn't seen from afar – just like the way you furrowed your brows and parted your lips slightly when you were focusing, or how you tapped your pen on your chin or your lips when you were thinking. all of these things, no matter how seemingly meaningless, somehow only carved the place he had reserved for you in his heart a little deeper. as if every single one of them made him want to find another adorable detail about you.

he'd catch himself smiling whenever he'd watch you a little too long while you were busy typing on your laptop, and he got used to quickly looking away or pretending to search something in his backpack every time you almost caught him. it was a miracle, really, how you hadn’t realized yet. at least if jay’s words were anything to go by, according to whom everyone could clearly see the way sunoo was so obviously, helplessly in love.

"you’re so down bad," he had remarked one time he met sunoo after your scheduled study session at the library – all smiley, obviously. but the younger had just quickly shrugged it off with a shy "oh, shut up."

but of course, working with you didn't only bring warmth and nervousness that had by now grown to feel almost comfortable. it also brought hard, almost cruel, reminders of how one-sided his feelings were.

there was that pretty necklace you wore, one with a small gem, that he was certain heeseung had gifted to you. it hung around your neck as if it wanted him to remember that you already belonged to someone else. and then, needless to say, there was heeseung himself, who'd come to pick you up from the library when you finished whatever you had planned for that day. sure, sunoo was glad to know there was someone who made sure you got home safely, but, hell, he would be that someone too.

every time he saw you smiling at your boyfriend, the brightness in your eyes sent a flutter through sunoo’s chest, only to quickly be replaced by the unpleasant reminder of how happy you were with him. he felt almost foolish for still liking you when he knew damn well that you were taken – especially when the confidence heeseung radiated made sunoo feel almost small, for heeseung seemed to be everything he was not, and even the mere thought of ever standing a chance felt ridiculous.

one afternoon when sunoo arrived to the library, he found you at your usual spot, already absorbed in the book in front of you and taking notes here and there.

"hey," he greeted gently after approaching the table, careful to not startle you. you looked up from the book and your eyes met his for a second – and although you’d held eye-contact with him for an uncountable amount of times by now, it still made his knees wobble like it was the first.

"hey," you greeted back with a soft smile. god, he swore his heart skipped a beat or two.

"i'm not late, am i?" sunoo asked after sitting down across from you, taking out his supplies, but never leaving your gaze.

"you’re not, " you shook your head, "just had nothing to do, so i figured i could start already. here look," you said, turning around your laptop so he could see the screen with the notes you had already taken.  then, you continued working together until you reached the goal you had set for the day.

 when sunoo packed up his things, he mentally prepared himself to see heeseung, his stomach filling with nervous anticipation. but even after a few minutes, he didn't catch any sight of him.

watching as you finished packing your bag, he swore your eyes scanned the library too – just for a second, before you quickly glanced down to your phone and bit your bottom lip just subtly enough for him to notice.

"isn't uh... isn't heeseung coming?" sunoo asked, tone careful, as if he wasn’t sure if that question was too personal and better left unasked. but you responded by shaking your head, words quickly following, “i'm going alone today.” you offered a slight smile, like you always did whenever answering one of his questions, but this time, it just didn’t make sunoo feel as fuzzy as usual.

"i can walk you home," he blurted out before his brain could even finish processing the thought, so he rowed back on it almost immediately, “sorry, that was a bad idea.”

"it wasn't, but you don’t have to. i appreciate it... thanks, sunoo." the volume of your voice decreased until all that was left was another, almost shy, but this time more genuine smile from you.

sunoo waited for a moment as if expecting you to say something else – take his offer, maybe. but as you looked back down at your phone, he gave a small nod, mumbling a low goodbye and left the library.

the following week, you canceled the study session last minute. it was the first time you had done so, and sunoo, already waiting at your usual spot in the library, couldn’t help the hint of concern while reading your message. yet, he didn’t dig deeper, knowing he was in no position to ask more personal questions, even if for the sake of looking out for you.

when you rescheduled for the week after, a rather blank expression had replaced your usual smiles and the silence between you felt more awkward than ever before. during the session, your eyes occasionally drifted away from the book, your notes, and from him, even when he was talking.

it wasn’t until sunoo noticed the absence of your necklace that he felt like there was more to your unusual behavior. you had absentmindedly reached for it, your fingers grazing your collarbone, but when they found nothing, you quickly pulled your hand away.

“hey,” he asked softly, “is everything okay?”

your eyes met his, surprised by his question, but you gave a small nod. "yeah, it's fine."

the way you immediately looked away after replying was all it took for sunoo to know better than that. he hesitated for a moment before softly offering, “you know... if you ever want to talk, i’ll listen.”

you gave him a longer look this time, and then, after a brief pause, you exhaled. “i broke up with heeseung.”

sunoo’s breath caught in his throat. sure, all he wanted was to be a safe space for you to talk and feel comfortable, understood, not alone, perhaps – but he hadn't expected you to actually tell him. not so quickly, and not that. for a moment, he just stared at you as if waiting for you to laugh it all off as a joke.

"i... i'm sorry. that must be hard" was all he managed to say, not sure how to choose his words and mentally cursing himself for making them sound awkward on top of that.

you nodded slightly, looking down at your hands, your voice quiet. "it’s been coming for a while, i guess. he’s been distant, and i should’ve known, but... yeah." sunoo could feel his heart crack at the hint of sadness in your voice.

he felt the urge to reach across the table, maybe take your hand or offer some kind of physical comfort, but he stopped himself. instead, he gave you a warm smile, hoping that it would somehow be enough.

“thanks for telling me,” he said gently. he wanted to say more, to be a better source of comfort, but something told him that you didn't want to talk about it now. “if you need anything, i’m here.”

you didn’t say anything for a moment, but then you gave a small, genuine smile – one that felt more like you. "thank you, sunoo."

in the following weeks, the two of you returned to your project work routine.sunoo began bringing you your usual coffee, just setting it down next to your books with a small remark like, "i thought that might help to cheer you up a little."

and while you just casually thanked him each time – at least you tried to be casual – these gestures began to tug at your heart. at some point, you found yourself looking forward to seeing him, not because of the free coffee but because of him. the way he understood you wordlessly, somehow always sensed when you needed a break or when the time was right for a joke and when it wasn’t. just the way his mere presence had something oh so comforting to it.

one time when you looked up to thank him, your eyes met his, and you held his gaze just long enough to notice how his brown hair fell slightly over his eyes – how his smile was so evident in them that it made your stomach feel all warm and fuzzy. and although you tried to shove the warmth away each time you felt it, you started seeing things you'd never noticed before; how his eyes sparkled when he was talking about something he seemed passionate about, or the way his smile grew just a little wider when he seemed nervous or embarrassed.

maybe it was too early to fall for him, but before you could waste a thought on that, you realized you already had. and sunoo had made it so easy.

"please, sunoo," you begged, pouting your lips slightly as if that was the ultimate way to persuade him to join a party a fellow student hosted to celebrate the end of the semester.

he opened his mouth to object, but in reality, he felt like he'd combust if you didn't stop pouting anytime soon, so he gave in. "fine, but only for two hours." you smiled brightly, still catching sunoo off guard like the very first time, and oh how he wished he could tell you just how much that smile meant to him. sure, throughout the second half of the semester, things between you two had started to feel a little less awkward. but despite jay’s (unsuccessful) attempts to encourage sunoo to finally tell you about his feelings, the latter didn't want to ruin the comfort you had just found in each other. if being somewhat between a classmate and a friend was the closest he could get to you, then he'd settle for that.

when you arrived to the party hours later that day, people were already gathering in the small place, drinking, chatting, or – unfortunately, if you were to ask sunoo – singing along to the music. and honestly, the place was a little too packed for your liking, yet feeling embraced by sunoo’s warmth next to you, it felt comfortable, somewhat safe.

you grabbed some drinks from the kitchen before pushing through the growing crowd of people, sunoo’s hand softly staying on the small of your back to not lose you. your skin buzzed in the spot where his hand rested, but you tried to shrug the feeling off – unsuccessfully so, for you still felt his touch when it was no longer there and you were just standing across each other, reminiscing about the past semester.

the more people came in, the louder the noise around you grew, forcing you to lean in a bit more whenever the other person said something. when you couldn't hear each other anymore, not even after standing unnervingly close, you exchanged a knowing look, and, without a word, moved to the balcony. there, you both leaned against the railing, enjoying the sudden silence as the city lights softly illuminated the dark sky. although the night air felt cool around you, the warmth of sunoo standing close enough that his arm almost brushed yours seemed enough to keep both of you comfortable.

after a few more beats of silence, sunoo let out a shaky breath, fingers curling around the railing before he turned to you. his eyes found yours, and he didn't know if that was what pushed him, or if it was the alcohol that made his head buzz softly.

“you know,” he started, “i’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

you blinked, the soft buzz in your own head letting his words sink in slower “yeah?” you asked, feeling your heart pick up pace, "me too."

now, it was sunoo’s time to blink a bit taken aback, and the confidence he had brought up from god knows where suddenly vanished. he swallowed, tightening his grip about the railing. "what is it?" he asked quietly, too scared to say what had been on his mind now that he didn't know what was on yours.

"no, you go first."

he hesitated, the previously comfortable silence slowly reaching a point where it began to feel almost unbearable. thinking he wouldn’t speak first, you opened your mouth to beat him to it. but just when you uttered those three words, he did the same.

"i like you," you both said in unison.

for a second, you both froze, wide-eyed.

"what?"

again, the word echoed in both of your voices. you could feel your cheeks warming, and before you could stop it, a small, nervous laugh escaped you.

sunoo blinked, as if too stunned to react, before the tension broke and he chuckled too. the sound of it sent a wave of warmth through you, only intensifying the fluttering in your chest.

"i–" he started, still smiling but a little more serious now. he took a breath before his eyes found yours again. "i've been wanting to say that for a while. longer than i probably should have." though his confession was soft, the sincerity behind it was heavy. his eyes searched yours for a reaction, and you felt your heart flutter yet again.

smiling, you took a step closer. “i just realized recently,” you admitted quietly, “but being with you, it’s just… it feels good.” like coming home after a long day, you wanted to add, but the words got stuck in your throat when sunoo took a small step forward, gently cupping your cheeks with his hands as if it were the most natural thing in the world. his touch was light and careful, like he was waiting for permission. so, with a small nod, you allowed him to close the distance that had always been between you – to finally kiss the lips that, with that laugh long ago, had captured him completely. <3

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2025. please do not copy.

join my taglist here | masterlist

❥ perm. taglist: @brklynbabyjay @woniesun @leov3rse @simpjay @beebrightness @jayparked @simjaexy @insommni4 @drunk-haven @blackberryrains @hyukabean @enhalxvr @yunjiin

[dedalvs]

When will humankind learn the lesson of its hubris and begin to heal itself? Also can you recommend any undergraduate or graduate level resources (textbooks etc.) for learning about fiction? I already read Writing Fiction by Burroway. Thanks in advance

January 14, 3182. Make a note of the date and return to this post when it comes.

To your second question, I've never read anything on writing fiction, only writing in general. I've found something valuable in every book on writing, even if there were things in the book I found less valuable. For example, I read Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg, and while there was much of it I didn't care for, there are some passags that have stuck with me 22 years later. When it comes to writing guides, I think the best thing to do is read what interests you while understand that what you are really doing is building your own writing guide inside you. You're absorbing what you find personally meaningful and using it to create your own personal styleguide that, like it or not, you'll be following for the rest of your life. Rather than rejecting that, and trying to decide which text will be the text that tells you how to write, embrace it, realize that you are going to do what you're going to do, and then try to work within that framework. That is, if that's what's happening, how will you approach a styleguide? What will it mean to you to read a very didactic text (i.e. "All serious writers must do x; no serious writer every does y") vs. a loosey-goosey one (e.g. "Dance naked in the garden of your creativity and allow your flowers to bloom!")? What are you looking for in these texts and what will you do with information or strategies that you find valuable?

Returning to Writing Down the Bones, I have to say I found the book to be mostly woo. It was more a kind of self-help/empowerment book than a book on writing, in my opinion. But there is something in there that I'm sure I'd heard before but which finally resonated with me. Specifically, it was the way she articulated that it really, truly doesn't matter what you put on the page when you're drafting. Drafting is not the time to reject. Even some idea comes to you that you find absurd, illogical, thematically inappropriate—whatever. It's not the time to push it away. Indeed, it's wasted effort. Editing and revising is the time to question. If you're writing, you shouldn't let anything stop you��even your own brain.

Why it took till then for this idea to take root, I don't know. It could be how she worded it. It could be that it came at the right time. Perhaps I was more open to new ideas when I was reading this book. It may also have something to do with a transition that had taken place for me in writing. After all, when I started high school, I was not regularly using a computer (we'd only just gotten a computer that stayed at home). When I started writing, I wrote by hand—on paper. It's a much, much different thing to edit and revise when you're writing on paper than it is on when you're working on a computer! I mean, digital real estate is cheap. When you're writing by hand, it can literally hurt to write seven or eight pages—and then to discard them in editing! Right now I'm working on a novel draft where I've decided an entire section needs to come out. If I'd written that by hand?! I can't even imagine.

I guess the tl;dr of it is I don't have a specific text to recommend. Rather, I encourage you to look around and grab anything that interests you. In doing so, though, I encourage you to approach it differently, focusing on what in it you find valuable, without either wholly rejecting it or feeling you have to follow it to the letter like an Ikea manual. I even found something valuable in C. S. Lewis's The Abolition of Man, which I honestly can't believe I read.

If you'd like some fiction advice that may be generally useful no matter what you're writing, this is what I can offer:

A valuable skill to hone is being able to read your work as if you have no other knowledge of it. In other words, you need to be able to read your work like a reader. One of the most difficult things to do with fiction is to cut. You usually have a lot more characterization, a lot more plot points, a lot more detail, etc. than end up on the page. The important question is if you cut something, will the reader notice? Will it actually feel like something's miss it, or will a reader never notice? Mind, I'm not saying that as a writer you can't tell if something is superfluous, or that anything you cut will be superfluous. I'm saying sometimes even if you cut something important a reader will still get the impression that what they are reading is whole and unedited. That isn't a good thing or a bad thing: it's a neutral thing. The question you'll have to answer is what is this whole that the reader is getting, and is that whole something you're satisfied with?

Get multiple rounds of feedback from many different readers. I say this not because it's vital, because beta readers are important, because you have to have multiple perspectives on your work, etc. None of that. Getting feedback from many different readers is a form of self-care on the part of the writer. I was deathly afraid of feedback as a young writer. I welcomed praise, sure, but anything else felt too painful to bear. This changed when I took a short fiction class at Berkeley. Suddenly a short story of mine wasn't getting one round of feedback: it was getting fourteen. And not just from the professor, but from fellow students. This was a minor revolution for me in terms of accepting feedback. If I were to take, say, one round of feedback, certainly there would be some praise, but there would also be notes like "awkward phrasing", "why did x character do y?", "this is unclear", "too much description", etc. These things would burn me. I would seethe reading them, and it would hurt so deeply. But! Imagine that one of them circles a paragraph and writes "too much description" and then the other thirteen readers say absolutely nothing at all about that paragraph—maybe one even puts a smiley face next to it. THAT puts the criticism in its proper context. Maybe your writing isn't too bad! Maybe there isn't too much description. Maybe that particular reader just wasn't vibing with it, and maybe that's okay. And then let's look at it from the other perspective. Say thirteen out of fourteen papers have a sentence marked and all of them say things like "huh?", "what's this mean?", "confusing", etc. Guess what? The sentence is probably confusing. And for some reason if everyone's saying the same thing it hurts a lot less. It means, yeah, you probably made a little mistake, and that's okay. It's not one person singling you out, and it's not the case that they don't know what they're talking about. I can't emphasize enough how freeing it is to look at reviews of your work if you have a handful or more to draw from rather than just a single good friend.

It's okay to write the fun part first. You may have a plot device you're really excited about, but to get there, you have to introduce your characters, have them get together, have them go to a place, meet someone else, etc. And it may take time and energy to write all that. You may feel pressured to get through that before you get to the part you really want to write. You certainly can, but you do not have to. I don't know if younger writers can appreciate exactly what it means to have a computer. You can write a little bit now and literally copy and paste it into some other document later. Try doing that with a typewriter! You can write something like "Insert paragraphs later of characters traveling to x location". You can even drop a variable in there so it's easy to find with the search function later (e.g. "ZZZZZ insert scene description here"—now you just need to search for "ZZZZZ"). You can put it in a different color on the screen so it's easy to find when scrolling. You can paste a freaking photo into your document! It's extraordinary what you can do with a computer that you couldn't do in years past. You've got a ton of options. But most importanly, when your work is done, no one will know what order you wrote it in.

In fiction, nothing has to happen. Villains don't have to be punished; heroes don't have to win; characters don't have to have a specific arc that comes to some conclusion. Honestly, one of the tropes (if you can even call it a trope) that I find most frustrating in sequels for movie franchises is after the characters are introduced, they take a few character and assign to them the major story conflict, and then for the rest, they give them a mini arc. It's like, "Mondo 2: Exploding the Mondoverse sees our hero Larjo Biggins take on new villain the Krunge as the very core of the Mondoverse is threatened with destruction! Also, Siddles Nuli learns its okay to be left out sometimes and she shouldn't get her feelings hurt, and Old Mucko learns that even though technology is advancing, sometimes good old fashioned common sense is just what the doctor ordered!" If you get to the end of your story, and you feel it's done, you don't have to panic if you suddenly realize we don't know whether Hupsi ever made it to Bumbus 7. It's okay if Story A is resolved but Story B is not.

I don't care if you used Trope A in your new story even though you used Trope A in your past seven stories and neither should you. Seriously, you think anyone was complaining when Agatha Christie put out another mystery novel? "Oh. Mystery again, huh? Gee, we were all hoping you'd write a book about the struggles traditional fishing villages are facing in the wake of industrial modernization." No we fucking weren't!

I hope you find some of this useful. Whether you did or not, though, be sure you enjoy what you're doing. If you are, you're doing the right thing.

[mononijikayu]

kayu's playlist — side 2500;

The question is somehow inevitable. No matter how many interviews you do for anything you do, no matter how much you try to steer the conversation toward your work, it always circles back to your personal life. "Are you dating any of your coworkers or friends?" It’s phrased casually, like an afterthought, but you know better. The tabloids, the press have been relentless. But what do you expect?

You were intriguing. It was as if you wanted them to chase after you. It's like you wanted them to keep up with you, like it was a game. And people like to play.

hello this is kayu!!! wow, i'm really surprised and overwhelmed that people continue to follow up with me and read my work and it's just, its been an incredible two years!!! it's genuinely such an overwhelming feeling, to be so adored by so many of you. thank you for 2.5k followers!!! i never expected that i'll ever end up in this position where i'd get such an opportunity to write and read and experience multiple lifetimes through all of this with you guys. its still just an incredible situation, a privileged one, to be able to be with yall like this. and i don't take it for granted. i don't meet up a lot of my friends nowadays, because we're all growing older and doing other things. so in some ways, you guys have become new friends and comfort me in my own grievances in life. so i am grateful, to have some people in my life like you all. there will be many things that changes, but i hope you know its always an honor to write for you and be a writer that comforts people and makes people feel things. i genuinely am so happy to do things like this and know that you both of us find comfort in it. this playlist will not exist if it wasn't for your love, none of this would exist without your love. so i am grateful. i always will be. and i hope you know how much i love yall. please enjoy this little gift, from me to you and that you always know how much i adore all of you. i'll see you starting this week!!! i love you all <3

when people ask you in interviews if you're dating, you end up smiling and saying 'spoilers'. but all they had to do was analyze your instagram to see why you smile so slyly. and when they do, all they can do is gasp. guess what? there's two of them!

There were too many pictures of you leaving dinner with Geto Suguru, laughing backstage with Satoru Gojo, leaning a little too close in some candid shot taken at a party. Or sometimes you would be dancing around with Nanami Kento at an afterparty wrap up, or end up drinking at a cafe with Kamo Choso. Fans dissect every interaction, every glance, every social media post, desperate to piece together a narrative. That's just how it was, when you're a known name. So you think to yourself, you might as well play the game too. I mean, they don't mind. So, you smile. A slow, knowing smile, just enough to fuel the curiosity. You could shut it down with a simple no, or confirm something with a straightforward yes, but where’s the fun in that? Instead, you lean forward slightly, letting the moment stretch just enough to build anticipation. With a teasing glint in your eye, you simply say with a grin."Spoilers." The interviewer laughs, caught between amusement and frustration. The audience reacts instantly, murmurs rippling through the room, tweets flying in real time. Just like that, you’ve sidestepped the question without giving anything away, while making sure the speculation never dies down. It’s a game at this point. And it's one you’re more than happy to keep playing. A text comes through. And then another. 'you're a vixen, aren't you?' 'well, aren't you fun to play with, baby ;)))' You smirked at the messages.

you took him back, and you do love him. but toji knows that you will never love him the way you did back then. that's why he knows when you're not home, you'll be in someone else's bed. and all he can do is swallow his pride. after all, you'll always come back home to him. like he does.

Fushiguro Toji reads the headlines with a scowl, jaw tightening as his eyes flick over the words on the newspaper. He doesn't read it often, if he was being honest. But the more he sees more about it, the more he knows he can't avoid it. "Co-stars or Something More? Sparks Fly Between Y/N L/N and Nanami Kento on Set." Tch. Too well, huh? He scoffs, but the irritation sits heavy in his chest. Every article, every damn picture of you laughing with Nanami, standing close to him, looking at him like he’s the only one in the room. It grates on his nerves more than he wants to admit. Jealousy curls in his gut, sharp and bitter. But what right does he have to say anything? None. Not after what he did. Not after the way he shattered everything between you. He cheated. He ruined it. He was the one who left you picking up the pieces, and if Nanami Kento—or anyone else, for that matter—was helping you put them back together, what could he really say? Still, the thought of you moving on, of someone else having your smiles, your time, your heart. Everything about it drives him insane. He exhales sharply, tossing his phone onto the table. It’s his own damn fault, and he knows it. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

< READ HERE >

you and sukuna have gone through everything together. from all the hardships of his late night practice to your continuous studies making you tear up. to every misunderstanding and to every fight, there was one thing that brought you both back together. and that's the warmth of love.

Ryomen Sukuna leans against the counter, arms crossed, staring down at the contract like it personally offended him.

The offer from the national volleyball team is everything he’s worked for. It's all he's every wanted since he was a kid. It was everything he'd risk everything for. And yet, he hesitates. “You’re thinking too hard, 'kuna.” you tease, nudging his side. “This is a no-brainer, Sukuna. You should go for it.” He doesn’t respond right away, just clicks his tongue and exhales through his nose. You recognize that look on his face. It was hard to miss. It was the one where he’s overanalyzing, masking his real concern behind a layer of indifference. Finally, he mutters, “I’d miss your graduation. You said it was that date, right? The first game is during your graduation.” Your chest tightens at that. He says it like it’s just a fact, but you can hear the frustration underneath. The regret. Your boyfriend always feels like he's going to miss so much on what you have going on. He doesn't like it, that he can't be there for you the way you are. You smile, softer this time. “And I’d miss seeing you play on the national team if you don’t take this. We’ll make up for it, I promise.” His gaze flickers to yours, searching. “…You sure?” “Absolutely.” You step closer, squeezing his hand. “I’ll be cheering for you from where-ever I am. Whether I’m in the crowd or watching from a screen. So go. Do what you were meant to do.” He holds your stare for a moment longer before exhaling, shaking his head with a smirk. “Tch. You’re annoying.” But when he finally signs the contract, you don’t miss the way his grip on your hand lingers. He looks at you and you couldn't help but smile. You loved this man too much.

< READ HERE >

[eqt-95]

there were too many beds

prompt came from this reverse trope list. (thanks anon for suggesting it be pulled into a standalone post)

- - - - -

There were too many beds.

There were too many beds.

Kara scanned the room: two, four, six, seven beds.

Sevens of them. All done up with pillows and over-starched fabric and tiny brochures translated into broken English with a map of local attractions splattered from inch to inch.

When she'd persuaded Lena to live out her dream of a four-week backpacking European holiday, she never expected there to be so many beds. Hostel after hostel with 'private' rooms filled with beds. It was perfectly roomy which was exactly the problem. Kara had daydreamed of a closet-sized room tightly packed with a single double bed, a tiny nightstand and, maybe if they were lucky, a private bathroom.

What she didn't expect was Lena plans-ahead Luthor booking out an entire 'group' of beds at each location.

"It'll give us guaranteed privacy," Lena explained when Kara flushed at the bundle of euros being slipped across the counter city after city.

Because that was the other thing: Kara had just come out. As Supergirl. And for as much as she liked to pretend everything was normal, everything was not normal. They could barely enjoy their plates of cicchetti in Venice without being barraged with onlookers. Their walk through Gaudi's masterpiece was ruined by slack-jawed observers gawking at Kara in civilian clothes. And now, in the city of love itself, Kara's romantic plans of a blanketed dinner in front of the Eiffel Tower was ruined by one nosy teenager with a social media following.

And now they were back, dinner ruined, a half-eaten baguette in one hand and the remaining drags of a perfectly delicious bottom-shelf bottle of red in the other. It was terrible. It was awful. It was not going at all like Kara wanted or planned or hoped.

Still Lena smiled. She knowingly leaned into Kara with each spontaneous combustion of crowds. She squeezed a hand reassuringly and chuckled when the wildest requests were made for autographs and signatures and "can we see the suit?". Tiny reminders of "it's ok, darling," were whispered through a crowd while an adoring smile settled Kara's stewing frustration.

"Everything ok?" Lena asked, one hand disappeared into her overflowing backpack.

"Hm? Oh, yea," Kara replied. A blush crept over her cheeks and a distracted hand scratched at her neck. "Just tired I guess."

"It'll pass. Soon you'll be able to walk down the street and be a nobody just like me," Lena offered with a sympathetic smile. And then there it was; there it came: a quick squeeze of Kara's forearm followed by the light trace of a kiss on Kara's cheek. "Thank you for an amazing day."

And then it was gone as quick as it came with the bathroom door squeaking shut.

And still, there were seven beds.

Seven.

Beds.

Now, what happened next is up for some debate. To the desk clerk, it might have sounded like a robbery. To Lena Luthor, one threshold away, it sounded like Kara was having one of her early-aughts inspired dance sessions. Kara herself would explain she'd seen a black widow. An army of black widows when an amused Lena pressed.

"Not bedbugs?" Lena asked, surveying the damage and stepping over a smoking mattress.

"Uh... coulda-coulda been?" Kara said, flushed and dry-mouthed.

"Mhm, well then we couldn't possibly sleep here tonight-"

"Black widows. It was definitely a fleet of black widows. Not a bedbug in sight actually-"

"A fleet?" Lena pressed, barely containing a grin and dropping her day clothes onto her completely unscathed, pristine backpack.

Kara nodded. She nodded with vigor and superspeed.

"I see," Lena continued, plopping onto the mattress.

How exactly it happened didn't really matter. All that mattered was that, in the span of time it took Lena to brush her teeth and change into soft sweats and Kara's old NCU t-shirt, six beds had been destroyed.

"I guess we'll just have to share, won't we, darling?"

[live-laugh-lenney]

platform roulette | arthurtv

i've seen so so so many of these on my dashboard recently and i loved every single one i read/saw so lots of inspiration has come from it... testing the waters... seeing how well they go down... :)))

yourinstagram never too early to start on the grind. (but first, i need an iced coffee).

user1 where are you going??

user2 that's st pancras right?? international girly!!

user3 is this for an arthur hill video?? man's taking us all international now!! can't wait for the banger video you put together <3333

arthurnfhill Bloody hell, you're there early. -> yourinstagram hurry up, maybe?? -> arthurnfhill @/yourinstagram George was late waking up. Honest. -> georgeclarkeey @/yourinstagram @/arthurnfhill False. I think you will find that it was Arthur making us late... slept through that alarm.

user4 An Arthur Hill x George Clarke video incoming! -> yourinstagram don't you dare forget the little cherub that is @/arthurtv. -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram What have I told you about calling me that??

arthurtv Not very summer attire that jumper... Am I the only one that will be wearing shorts today?? -> yourinstagram preparing for any kind of weather, i guess. you never know what'll happen.

user5 the arthur hill reference in the caption killed me. -> yourinstagram it's a certified banger. (the coffee, not the song, btw). -> user5 @/yourinstagram howling. i love you so much

-

yourinstagram posted a story

[caption] filming something spectacular today 🎥 tagged; arthurtv, arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey

-

yourinstagram i see you girlies are starved of content. i hope you're hungry...

user1 she's one of us.

user2 oh good lord. where are you?

chrismd10 Thank you so much. My tummy is full up now. -> yourinstagram i left my phone unattended and now have a whole folder in my phone full of their shenanigans today if you want them for the bank later on? ;) -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram Please don't do that.

user3 why is she there??? who is she??? -> yourinstagram i'm one of arthur's videographers, babe... have been for a while. feeding you girls the content you deserve. all the credit that goes to him should go to meee <33

-> user4 you deserve an award for a, the insanely good content you give us. and b, having to deal with the insanity of men when they're drunk. -> yourinstagram The three of them turn into children when they get together and have a few drinks. It's funny watching it unfold.

user5 oh good lord. george and the two arthur's with alcohol can only mean one thing: trouble. -> yourinstagram you're correct. today was like going out with three kids. you'll be able to feel my pain in the video. just you wait for the video to be posted and you'll understand.

-

yourinstagram posted a story

[caption] the perks of filming with arthur hill means i get to break into the arthur hill bank account and order the expensive beers. 🍺 tagged; arthurtv, georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill

-

yourinstagram we somehow ended up in deal and it's become my favourite seaside town this year. platform roulette coming soon!

user1 what the hell have you been doing today?

user2 please tell us when it'll be out. i'm so so excited for this.

georgeclarkeey Of all the content you took and videoed today, you posted that weasel? -> yourinstagram @/georgeclarkeey he's a cute weasel?? -> arthurtv I'd rather be called cherub. -> yourinstagram @arthurtv sorry, my cherub weasel. <33

arthurtv We should go definitely back. -> yourinstagram will you also pay for my train fare like @/arthurnfhill did for me today?? -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram Of course. Not very gentlemanly of me to make my girlfriend pay for a date. -> arthurnfhill @/yourinstagram It was work-related. Wouldn't have paid for you if it was just for fun. x -> yourinstagram @arthurnfhill my resignation will be in the post.

user3 Has YN just hard-launched her relationship with Arthur? -> user1 check out the comments under his comment above. without a doubt... they've not just hard-launched them, they've practically shoved it down our throats. -> user3 @/user1 Oh my god. -> user2 @user1 I KNEW IT!!!! STAN TWITTER CAN DO ONE!!!

[sneakyfungi]

I felt like expanding my introverted reader post

Price who after training rookies, going to missions, dealing with paper work and multiple stress factors just wants to stay at home with his lover but at the same time worries that they are gonna get bored staying in one place without doing anything.

Y/n: sooo... Do you wanna do something now that you have free time?

Price: *sigh* honestly love I just wanna stay here and relax but if wanna go out-

Y/n: NO!!! sorry, I mean, I would love staying here with you just the two of us ❤️

Price: you don't have to stay here and get bored.

Y/n: love I a hundred and ten percent prefer staying here at home that going outside dealing with people.

Ghost who after a really rough mission only wants to be alone but also wants to be with you so in reality he wants some quiet after the guns, the explosions, the screams, the noice of everything. but feels bad because he bets that you'll want to talk to him about your day and everything that happened while he was away but once he gets home and hugs you, you only tell him to get a bath and change into something more comfortable while you prepare something to eat.

The rest of the day is silent except for the sound of the TV but is so low that it can be ignore, he is glad that you are indulging him in the silence he wanted and that makes him even more guilty so he does the effort to talk

Ghost: so how was your day?

Y/n: shhh... We are in quiet time.

Ghost: what?

Y/n: It's obvious you want some silence and I gotta say I also want silence after what happened at work.

Ghost: what happened?

Y/n: I'll tell you later for now let's just enjoy ❤️

Gaz who wants to take you to a nice tea shop that he saw in social media but while you were getting ready your phone made a sound when you got a message.

Y/n: babe, can you check who is?

Gaz: it's your friend, they are asking if you want to go with them to a karaoke...

Seeing this Gaz felt bad that he was taking you to a boring tea shop when you could go to anywhere else and have fun with your friends, when you finished you took the phone from his hands and texted something to your friend.

Y/n: ok, let's go.

Gaz: wait, you are not going with your friend?

Y/n: nooou?... We have plans already.

Gaz: Don't worry about that, the tea shop it's something that I want to do, go have fun with your friends.

Y/n: first of all, who said that I don't want to go to the tea shop? Also they want to go to a karaoke, I don't think I can endure that, between the noise and the smell of alcohol, because I bet they are gonna order drinks, I prefer for us to go to a cute and cozy tea shop ❤️

Soap who it's on your side all the time after being away for a couple of months, while you're cooking he has his hands around you, while you are taking a shower he seats on the toilet, while doing the laundry he helps you but all of this it's in complete silence, something unusual for him, you think that maybe something happened in the mission so you do the talk although it's also a bit complicated for you since you didn't do a lot while he was away, mostly you tell him stuff that happened at work, but it was when you were cuddling that you decided to ask him.

Y/N: baby, are you okay?

Soap: what? Yeah, I'm ok.

Y/n: are you sure? You haven't talked much since you came back and you don't leave my side at all.

Soap: I just... I just feel bad that you stay alone for so long so I guess I want to kinda compensate for leaving you.

Y/n: I understand, but let me tell you that I don't mind being alone because I also understand that your job it's gonna make you be away for a while so there's nothing that can be done, besides I don't mind the alone time because I know that I'll never be alone when you are with me ❤️

[squeakadeeks]

merry christmas my gift to you is telling a terrible tale since I think enough time has passed (ie over a decade) that i can tell you this without exploding.

when i was like 12 and starting out with art, i was so excited to open commissions just like a ✨real artist✨ and it being deviantart in the 2010's, within about a month i got someone asking for furry inflation fetish art. being a kid and having no sex ed, let alone the insanely specific sex ed that would be needed for me to understand what that is, i didnt flag it as inappropriate. I thought it would just be a "cool anatomy exercise like ✨real✨ artists do!" i was so ready and i took it on for 200 llamabucks or w/e the onsite currency was at the time. i did it, i drew it, whatever. well sure enough after posting it i quickly learned what furry inflation art actually was and i was mortified. being in like.....7th grade i was still terrified of sex and i was worried about my parents finding out so i took the entire sketchbook and buried it under my mattress. I lived in fear for months afterwards and felt like i deserved to be shot for falling for it and making something sinful.

the proceeding events happen in a confusing haze because my mother is an utterly puzzling woman so some suspension of disbelief is required but believe me when i say. i wish this was apocryphal. I dont know how or why, but some how some way my mom not only finds the sketchbook under my mattress, goes through the entire thing, finds the one singular offending sketch, then in a concerning mystery i will invest not a single iota of effort to solve due to the implications, immediately clocked that it was sexual fetish art. the one saving grace of a spherical wolf being niche enough that people wouldnt understand the dark deed i had done was out the window. She rips the page out, goes downstairs and parades it to the rest of the family like: "oh my god! look what ____ drew! lets all look at this! lets all look at this right now and laugh at it!" even with just this, i'm full on bursting into heavy hiccuping tears. as a kid this was the ultimate nightmare. you did something bad, you did something really bad, and your primary authority figure not only found it, but is now making sure everyone else you care about also knows the horrible shameful thing you did. except. there was something i couldnt have fathomed at the time that was about to get much, much worse.

my grandfather was dying of parkinson's at the time. when my mother took the sketch and displayed it to everyone like an auctioneer with a high ticket item, i ran out of the room sobbing so i never saw what happened to the blue inflated wolf with punk bangs. Well we all went to visit grandpa. we're all sitting around grandpa who used to be a famous local artist and was a big inspiration to me as a kid. and my mom goes "hey. ____ also wants to be an artist. Do you want to see what they drew?" and you'll never fucking guess what she pulls out of her pocket. hes barely able to turn and look over only to see that goddamn motherfucking wolf again. unlike before where i was crying so hard i couldn't breathe i remember being dead silent and stone still in shock. i dont think i blinked for 5 minutes but when i got up i threw up in the bathroom lol. I cant remember how but this time i did actually get the sketch back and i tore it to pieces and buried it in the yard. it haunted me for YEARS

but anyway now i have a memory of my mother showing my dying grandfather furry inflation art that i accidentally made when i was in middle school because i wanted a rainbow llama badge on deviantart.

[utilitycaster]

I am curious if you think the campaign wrap up will perhaps address some of the campaign shortcomings or challenges the cast faced in trying to land this campaign narratively, especially in comparison to previous campaigns? Not that they would disparage the whole campaign - but like a little “yeah this didn’t work as well as we wanted at times?” 

It’s odd because I find myself weirdly optimistic about CR as a whole despite this campaign’s possible lackluster ending, so I guess I’m hoping the campaign wrap up acknowledges that this campaign didn’t always play to their strengths in hopes that their next long form venture does more, idk.

I don't know if it will but. that's precisely the tenor any question I send will have: I don't think the fundamental concept is the issue - hell, I don't even think killing the gods is actually a problem if you appropriately set up a scenario where killing the gods has a motivation other than "mortals were mean to me in their name" [thing that happens irl all the time in a world with zero proof of divinity, in my religiously observant ideologically agnostic and skeptical opinion] or "I have issues with my parents I never worked towards so I've projected this onto The Ultimate Parents instead of like. being fucking normal." But it needed a lot more scaffolding at the VERY least in the prep for this campaign, and actually, to be blunt, if you want to make this a balanced issue you needed to seed this concept through prior campaigns in a meaningful way. There's a reason pretty much everyone who defends this campaign as Extremely Good, Actually is either doing some form of wildly revisionist history of the fandom and the past campaigns that's demonstrably false if you were like. there; or else they started with C3 and decided they were an expert despite being of below-average literacy and deeply below average personality and have to resort to such miserable efforts as "arguing that canon isn't real" and "posting an out of context Le Guin quote over and over in the hopes we won't notice they're actually 511 mice in a trenchcoat who can't actually read". So yeah I hope Matt is like this was an ambitious project and I'd have done many things differently.

I do wonder what's next for CR, because as I mentioned, it feels like the cast is stronger in shorter form; that even the other longform shows are moving to shorter form right now; and that WBN and C3 kind of show the limits/failings of longform. I hope they do another longform campaign at some point in the future, but it might make sense to take an extended break and play in the space for a while. They only took about 4 months between campaigns for the past two and maybe it would be good to take longer and focus on Daggerheart, Candela, and EXU for much of the year and if they do longform wait 8-10 months, especially with the comparatively extensive touring schedule this year.

I also hasten to add, and I mentioned this briefly in talking about CRPGs, but I think there's a Third Campaign Dip that's not inevitable (NADDPod didn't really have it; TAZ switches systems enough that it's not an issue) but definitely hit here, that doesn't apply to a fourth one. Like, for CRPGs (girl who's played Veilguard twice and gotten through the first day of Disco Elysium voice) it feels like the first run is following what seems most fun to you and then the second is playing around with other choices that maybe aren't as appealing just to see what happens, and then for the third and future runs you kind of know the full lay of the land and what you'll like while still allowing for a range of choices. For class-based TTRPGs, the first is the self-insert/thing that's fairly comfortable and easy/character you've dreamed of; the second is what you do now that you know how this works; and then the third can be...an overextension, shall we say. I think after that you figure out, again, the bounds of your comfort zone, how much you can stretch it, and what you don't like, you're in a much more consistent footing.

[introvertedelf]

The Daughter of Iron-Tony Stark x Daughter!reader Story

This story is on my Wattpad (IntrovertedElf) but I’m posting here too!

Tony Stark-Genius, Billionare, Playboy, Philanthropist.

But about the 'playboy' part-Tony had a one night stand 20 years ago. Ok, he had a lot of one night stands 20 years ago. But one of them resulted in a daughter. And he never knew about her, until now.

TW: This story contains heavy and mature themes such as: sexual content, rape, torture, parental death (the OC's mom), and probably more. But it WILL have a happy ending.

Chapter 1

It was your second year of Uni. You were the bright age of 20, felt like you had the world in your hands.

You were studying science—chemistry to be specific. You always loved the subject, so you figured that would be a good way to go.

You were brilliant, truly. Your mom used to tell you that all the time, but you would always just shake your head. Since your mom died from cancer, nothing was the same. Everything reminded you of her. It had only been a year. It took everything in you to even be able to muster up the strength to enroll in a university.

You sat down in class, looking beside you at your best friend: Peter Parker. He was all you had left. Your dad who you never even met before apparently didn't give a shit about you, and you never had any other lasting friends besides Peter. You didn't even know your father's name. Your mom had just said it was a mistake, though she was grateful to have you.

He nudged your shoulder, and you came back to Earth.

"Y/N, you good? You're doing that zoning out thing again," he said, chuckling at you.

"Yeah, I'm good," you lied. Peter never bought your lies, and he quirked a brow at you. "Ok ok, I just have a lot on my mind, I guess," you shrugged.

He let out a sigh. "Y/N, you need to get out more. When you're not in class you're just cooped up in the dorm. I'm worried about you..." he said with concern knitted in his brow. You hated that look of pity. But Peter understood what it was like to lose your parents. To grow up without them. But at least he had aunt May still.

"Pete, I'm—" you were about to say you're 'good' again, but you caught yourself. "Fine. What do you want from me?"

He grinned at you mischievously. "Since I just started the internship at the Avengers tower, you should come. I can totally get you in."

You didn't know about him being spider man yet. So the internship seemed purely academic to you. "What? Peter, I can't ask that of you...besides. I doubt Stark wants his annoying little intern's best friend around to annoy him too," you huffed.

"Y/N, pleaseeeee, just come with me tonight. Mr. Stark won't mind. Plus, he has Dr. Banner there now, and he could use a hand. One of his specialties is chemistry, too." When you didn't reply, he started begging again. "Pleaseeee—"

"Okay! Fine. I'll go with you. But you have to call Mr. Stark beforehand so it's not awkward. I don't want to just show up uninvited..."

He smirked at you. "Deal."

***

You paced around your dorm room, waiting for Peter to get off the phone with Mr. Stark.

"Thank you Mr. Stark! Trust me, she's brilliant, you won't regret—ok, sorry, see you soon!" He hung up, looking at me excitedly. "Guess what??"

You perked up, though you had a lump in your stomach. What if you weren't good enough? What if he told Peter not to bring you back?

"He said you can come! He said Bruce is working on some chemistry shit and needs help. We have to leave soon, you ready?"

I nodded, getting my crossbody bag and stuffing an extra notebook and pens in there just in case.

We got on the bus, arriving at the tower soon. "Oh and I forgot, you'll get to meet the Avengers", Peter said excitedly. Your jaw dropped. You never thought—omg. Peter knew how much of a crush you had on several of them. Specifically Bucky and Cap. "Try not to drool everywhere, m'kay?" Peter teased you.

You elbowed him in the ribs. "Shut up. I swear if you say anything!"

You got off the bus, heading into the tower. You followed Pete as he ushered you into the elevator, when an arm stopped it from closing and came in with you. A rather large arm, you should say.

Before your eyes was Steve Rogers. You felt your body tense up, looking at the behemoth of a man before you.

"Hey Peter," he said, patting him on the shoulder as he looked at you.

"Oh Cap this is Y/N, she's going to be interning with me for Dr. Banner," he smiled.

Steve looked down at you, and you felt very short. "Hi Y/N, Pete here talks about you all the time, nice to put a face to the name," he said, looking you up and down with a wide smile. He put his hand out, and you shook it, squeezing it like you were taught. Firm handshakes said a lot about a person. "Quite the grip you've got there, gorgeous," he said with a wink, disappearing out of the elevator as you got to the floor.

You stood there practically hyperventilating as Peter laughed at you silently. "Somebody has a crusshhhh, somebody has a—ow!" You flicked him in the nose. "Come on, the lab is this way."

You followed him, still thinking about the fact that Steve Rogers called you gorgeous. When you got to the lab, you practically melted. It was *huge*, and everything was up to date and sparkling.

You saw Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner in a corner talking, and you and Peter approached them.

"Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner," Peter started. "This is Y/N."

They both turned to look at you. Bruce smiled and shook your hand, while Tony just stared at you. Finally he put his hand out for you to shake.

"Y/N. Peter never shuts up about you. I hope you're all he led you on to be. You'll be with Bruce today working on some chemical equations," he said, his eyes strangely familiar to you. You couldn't explain it. I mean, you saw him on TV a lot, maybe that was it.

You swallowed. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, it means more to me than you know," you said.

Tony nodded at you, leading Peter off somewhere and leaving you with Bruce.

"Alright miss Y/N, I've got some equations here that need solving. Let's see what you can do," he smiled softly.

You took out your pen and solved them in no time, and apparently way faster than Bruce would have thought because he seemed shocked when you told him you were done.

He looked the paper over, checking it. "Alright then. That was clearly way too easy for you. Looks like we've got a new intern," he smiled, shaking your hand again.

The rest of that day you didn't see Tony or Peter again, and you helped Bruce with whatever he needed. When the sun set, Bruce said he was ready to call it for the day. He led you out to the common area, and you sat on the couch until you fell asleep.

Finally, Peter walked in with Stark, and chuckled. "Looks like Dr. Banner tired her out," Peter said, his arms crossed.

"Looks like it. I want both of you here every day after school, deal?" Tony said, patting Peter on the back.

"Deal," he tried to contain his excitement. Tony walked off and Peter nudged you awake before you went off and took the bus back to your dorms.

***

Authors note:

hiiii I hope yall enjoyed the first chapter. It was just like a 'setting up the story' chapter. I'm publishing these as I go to get motivation to keep going from my readers 😭

[exercise-of-trust]

everyone clap and cheer for my beautiful daughter who has every disease 🥰 her name is þerindë because her wheel is made out of an embroidery hoop; she is entirely handmade and boy howdy does it show

a whole bunch of things have stopped working since i took that video last night and i'm not sure how much more wherewithal i have to keep messing with her, but i did manage to spin about two feet of something before then! so i'm showing her off a bit now, and if i can figure out what-all i fucked up maybe you'll see more of her in the future. some process and progress photos under the cut (not a tutorial. do not do this. i cannot sufficiently stress how bad of an idea this was and is*)

(*if you are going to do this and have questions not answered here i am always happy to answer them, inbox and dms are open etc, but like. i would strongly advise against it)

here's the hoop! it's about a foot across, with a groove carved out with a speedball. this ended up being way too shallow (who'd'a'thunk) so the final version is a lot deeper than what you're seeing here. the paint stirrers are held in with straight pins because i was worried regular nails would just crack the hoop lmao. my girl is so deeply and profoundly scuffed <3

the flyer is made from three cedar shingles glued together because i didn't have a solid piece of wood large enough. astonishingly nothing broke while i was sawing out the rough shape and it whittled down pretty nicely! the hooks are scrap 2mm copper wire, the orfice is a couple inches of plastic drinking straw, and the pulley wheel is also hand-carved, which is why it looks like a fucked-up oreo and has the weird hitch at the top of the spin that you probably saw in the video 🙃 frankly i am astonished it works as well as it does

the wheel frame is. man. the axle supports haven't broken yet but frankly it's a miracle they're still in place with how much strain they're under every time. the original base was that weird little bit of paint stirrer, which (shocker) did not work out in the long run; it's been replaced by an offcut from the frame and is significantly more sturdy now. it's surprisingly level, though, and turns pretty smoothly all things considered!

the frame was a nightmare start to finish; i've never done any serious woodworking before in my life and the whole thing was just kind of slapped together without a plan or any sort of concrete measurement. it wobbles so fucking bad and every few hours i have to push a couple of the parts back together where the nails are sort of drifting out of the wood. you may observe a weird post sticking out the left side of the mother-of-all; that is supposed to be for scotch tensioning. does it actually do that? sort of! the belt is a length of cotton crochet thread that is, after much fiddling, just the right size to not slip out more than once every three minutes.

treadling was another pain to figure out and i think i probably made it way more complicated than it needed to be. it still doesn't work very well and i can't tell if that's something i can fix hardware-wise or if i just have to suck it up and practice a lot more. turns out feet are not as coordinated as hands! i would say "now i know for next time!" but frankly i am never doing this again. you couldn't pay me. speaking of which, i did the math and at my current pre-tax hourly salary i could've bought two brand-new ashford travelers with the number of hours i spent building my awful rickety daughter. at the end of the day, do i love her? immensely. is she "good"? by no stretch of the imagination.

anyway. this was a terrible use of my time <3 but i do finally feel confident enough in all the parts of a spinning wheel and what they're for that i can brave the dangers of facebook marketplace's "spinning wheel" category without getting too badly scammed! which is pretty valuable in its own right, i guess.

[nothing-tolose]

All Because I Liked A Girl.

Part 3

A/N: lol i found this a bit nonsense whsgajdhe *wheezing* AND AND AND IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT GOOD AS PART 2. anyway i love u guys sm xoxo

if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3

🇵🇸 daily click

part 1. part 2.

Those messages still showed up several times with some different accounts.

You decided to turn on the do not disturb mode so those hateful messages won't bother you for a while before you switched app to reply Ellie's message.

You

yeah

i guess..

You took a deep breath, fingers were typing over the keyboard with hesitation.

You

no

i'm not, actually

can you come over, els?

i need u here

please

delivered

You let out a slight sigh, and you put down your phone to the kitchen table. You buried your face in between your arms, eyes were red and tears stain on your cheeks.

You were actually don't want to give a fuck about Anne's post, but the way people insulting you and the way she reacted to them, you couldn't even understand. How on earth you don't give a fuck with that when some people were saying they'll be waiting your funeral? They might really do something if they have a guts and you were unaware.

And someone was just mentioned your initial there, Anne reacted with 'shh'. What kind of reaction was that?

You scared, terrified even. It feels like you're going to isolating yourself in your home until they forget about the post. Sadly you'll never do that, and you won't and you can't do that because you're not even graduate yet!

You left your phone there, and tried walking to living room even though your feet still feeling a bit limp, you were resting your body on the couch with blank stare to ceiling. Your mind started to thinking about those comments, from the first you saw it to the last you saw it on blog. It scares you, so much. Your tears coming down from your eyes for the second time, your chest were going up and down. You were sobbing so hard. Terrified, confused, all your feelings mixed in one.

Morning felt so long. Now it's 1PM, and you still on the same position with cushion that you hugged for the past few hours. You can hear nothing but your sobs and the sound of cars passing by on the street. Still not feeling any better.

The next second, you heard a knock from your door, followed by sound of door opened. You could tell it was Lauren who just opened the door, sound of hurried footsteps filled the room, "There you are!"

Lauren runs over you, crouches on the floor so that she's at eye-level with you. Her eyebrows furrowed, she obviously worried about you. She tapped your shoulder two times, "Would you sit?" She asked.

You just nod and get up slowly, leaning on the backrest while Lauren put down the cushion on your lap.

"Where's your phone?"

You turn your head and looking at the kitchen table where you left your phone morning earlier, "There," You said, almost not making a sound.

"Okay."

She walk towards the kitchen, her hand picked up your phone without a glance and put it in her coat pocket. You didn't paying attention to Lauren and staring to the front of your sight as you still got your panic attack, but you really really tried to make yourself calm down. Oh, but it didn't help you at all.

Lauren went back with a glass of water on her hand, she sits next to you, "Drink it, and try to breath slowly," You just do what she said.

She put it down the glass on the coffee table after you drank. You feel her thumbs wipes your tears slowly along with her little chuckle. You swore you have no idea if Lauren weren't here, you might be drowning in your tears or maybe crying blood when your tears already gone. Or the worst part, you might be dead alone here. She was like your own sister, who always stay on your side when you're down and when you're happy.

Lauren smiled at you before she hugged you so tightly, her hands running through your hair, "You don't deserve this."

"It'll pass. They'll forget about everything what happened today in no time, okay? You didn't stole Ellie," She keeps saying some words to make you feel better, and apparently it does. You fell asleep with your head on Lauren's lap.

Lauren took your phone out, and she stared at the lockscreen. There's still a bunch of messages request from people who still trying to get you down. Her eyebrows furrowed, anger almost taking over herself.

'All these fucking unnecessary messages, and Ellie doesn't texting her at all while the problem was involved with her? What kind of girlfriend is she?'

Lauren decided to changed the setting to disable the notifications from any social media except messages, at least you wouldn't see those fuckers from your lockscreen notification center.

She turned off your phone and took a glance at your face, she sighed.

'Does she really care about you right now? When everyone were talking shit about you because they thought you stole Ellie from Anne?'

Woke up on the same couch, the first thing you noticed was Lauren wasn't here. You were all alone, lights turned on, it's already dark out there.

"Shit, how long I've been asleep?" You get up, looked up to the clock and it's already 8PM. You grabbed your phone from the coffee tables in front of you, seeing if there's any messages you can reply.

messages from lauren

idk how long you've been asleep but i rlly have to go so sorry for leaving u aloneee;((

i bought some foods u can heat it up, AND dont skip your dinner bcs i assumed you haven't eaten today

dont be so curious to open ur social media, kay? i dont want u get your panic attack again

i love uuuuuu 💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️

You laughed for a second, then you scrolled the notification center searching if there's more messages. Your smile disappeared when you didn't see any messages from Ellie.

I mean, she always tried to reply your message asap after you sent the texts even when she's busy, she would tell you that she can't reply all your messages right now and will reply it soon as possible. The texts you sent to her this morning were still delivered. There's even no calls from her, does she even read your messages through the notifications? You needed her so much, and where is she now?

You don't want to overthink it. Maybe she's been too busy, but today is fucking Sunday, how the hell a student got really really busy on Sunday?

You bit your nails, suddenly thinking about your biggest fear.

What if she meet Anne in somewhere?

Your mind straight up thinking about her and Anne. All those what-ifs filling up your head, even you whispered to yourself to not assuming everything in negative way. But you couldn't help it. You really hate it when you can't help to stop assuming things.

You huffed, resting yourself on the backrest. You staring at the wall, imagining if Ellie were here right by your side like Lauren did and at the same time you still thinking if she were with Anne today.

You almost fell asleep again when you heard Ellie's voice calling your name along with knocking on the door. You stood up quickly and ran into the door.

Once you opened it, she grabbed both of your forearms. Her face looked so worried, worried than Lauren. She panted, sweating all over her face, and messy hair strands on the side of her face.

Your hands on her shoulders, "Where have you been?"

She didn't answer your question, all she said was, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." And asking you if you were okay, then she hugged you tightly like you were about to leave her.

You ended up on your bed, laying down with your head resting on her arm. After she said sorry five times, you took her to the bedroom. You really wanted to ask her, where the hell was she this entire day? Why did she texted you and just disappeared, and then showed up looking so worried like she was almost dead?

But here you are, with her. None of you broke the silence. She caressed your cheeks so gently, kissing your forehead several times, and humming.

You looked up to her, staring at her green emerald eyes. Your mouth was opened, almost asking her the same question that you've asked before.

"Sorry, I had an emergency." Right before you could ask her, she spoke.

"What emergency?"

Ellie went silent, she bite her lower lip and glancing aside, avoiding eye contact with you.

"Ellie, what emergency?"

She sighed heavily, her eyes now looking at you, "Sorry, you got dragged into this mess because of me. I shouldn't be disappeared for an entire day after texting you," She closed her eyes and looked away, "I'm really sorry."

You sitting up there and shook your head in desperation, "You did answer my question earlier, but you didn't answer the last question, Ellie. What emergency?"

There's no reply from her. You scoffed, "Ellie, what emergency that made you didn't reply to my texts?"

Ellie turned her head, "You texted me?"

"What?"

Oh.. Wait, what?

taglist: @cherryimaa @kimaellie @backedbeansh @bunnyrose01 @bready101