#you’re telling me a snail fried this rice?

[roe-oo]

send your snails bro I’ll employ them all

[tastesoftamriel]

What's the first dish from each of the races of Tamriel that you would recommend to an outsider?

For newbies to dining outside your Province, there are plenty of "beginner" dishes that aren't too weird, exotic, or otherwise alarming. These are some of my favourite dishes that are both satisfying and great introductions to Tamrielic cuisine.

Altmer

Food in the Summerset Isles is famed for being perfectly balanced, and as such is bound to have something to please a beginner's palate. I would definitely recommend a seafood bowl with brown rice, seaweed salad, spicy wasabi root paste, pickled plums, and an assortment of raw fish and caviar. Now, I know that raw fish is a bit of a stretch for the less adventurous eaters, but I insist that the only way forward is by pushing yourself. Besides, you've got to start somewhere!

Argonians

I'm going to be a little kinder with Argonian cuisine because there is a lot of weird stuff in Black Marsh that makes even I rather squeamish. A bowl of cold buckwheat noodles with fish sauce, roast chicken, and watercress is a delicious entryway to Argonian cooking, and is wonderfully refreshing too!

Bosmer

If you like meat and you like cheese, you're halfway set for dining in Valenwood. Why not try a timber mammoth steak with a fragrant local blue cheese sauce, spiced up with smoked bone marrow and fresh cream? It's very Green Pact compliant, and an easy way to get started on your Bosmeri culinary adventure.

Bretons

Yes, the Bretons are known for eating some slightly bizarre foods like snails and force-fed goose livers, but today's recommended dish is a little less over-the-top. I really love a traditional charcuterie board with an assortment of High Rock's best, from aged parmesan with water crackers to cured ham, sausages, roasted vegetables with garden herbs, and little quiches. It's a great way to taste the Province and prepare you for more!

Dunmer

I'll be blunt: you cannot experience true Dunmeri culinary greatness if you refuse to eat bugs. Now, assuming that you assent to that, let me tell you all about the goodness of nix-hound gratin. Tasty nix-hound meat, which is somewhat akin to a cross between pigeon and turkey, is marinated overnight in a blend of herbs and spices, and baked under a blanket of combwort breadcrumbs, scuttle, and crispy hackle-lo bits. There, that doesn't sound too bad does it?

Imperials

Aside from the odd weird dish like drunken dormice, Imperial food is, like the Altmer, well-balanced and generally pleasant. I would suggest ravioli stuffed with chevre, spinach and pine nuts, and cooked in a brown butter sauce. Oh so simple yet so good, and a great introduction to the versatile types of pasta found in Cyrodiil!

Khajiit

If you're not quite ready for moon sugar, that's alright! A traditional Elsweyr-style griddle bread is a great way to get to know Khajiiti cuisine without the side effects. Griddle bread is a flat cornbread cooked on a griddle, and stuffed with fillings of your choice, both sweet and savoury. I enjoy mine with spicy barbecued pork, rhubarb salsa, and roast corn, but other fillings include mushrooms, ham or chicken, sardines, fried egg, and pickled vegetables.

Nords

If you hear a Nord gushing over rabbit meatballs, it's probably for good reason (unless they make them too dry). The best part is that there isn't really a right or wrong way to enjoy them! We love our meatballs with creamy gravy, snowberry jam and potatoes, or in stews, or shoved into pies...you get the idea. In other words, try the rabbit meatballs and a tankard of mead if you want to try Nord cuisine. You'll not find anything more authentic or inoffensive.

Orcs

Orcish food is generally quite mild on the palate, and has a few staple ingredients that every race uses, like potatoes, leeks, radishes, and a lot of meat. A traditional venison stew with juniper and wrathberries is usually loaded with radishes and other root vegetables, and is served with fresh bread and fried offal patties. Simple, hearty, and delicious!

Redguards

Not everybody is enthusiastic enough to try camel for their first Redguard meal, so I'm going to go with a mild pulled goat curry. When I say curry, I don't mean "scorch your eyebrows off and feel sick for days" spicy (although that's definitely an option if you're game). The goat meat is first roasted over a charcoal grill, then stewed in a creamy tomato-based sauce with lentils, herbs, and exotic spices. Finished with chopped dates and almonds, this dish features all the flavours of the Alik'r without being too overwhelming.

[badwolfwrites-sometimes]

Prank War: Axis vs. Allies

The Axis trio is stranded on a deserted island again, but this time, instead of fighting them, they decide to prank the Allies. A gift for Azusicle on AO3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360928

They were stranded. Again. And it was the least of their troubles.

"I'm boreeed." Italy whined, rolling around in the sand with nothing but his boxers on. "Let's do something fuun."

Germany and Japan sat in the rare spots of shade that could be found on the beach, cooling themselves down and discussing escape plans. Well, they would discuss them if it weren't for the Italian. "You have an entire ocean in front of you, go for a swim or something if you're bored." Germany groaned.

"But Germaaany, I've been swimming all day. My skin would get all soggy if I swim any more." Italy complained.

"Then do something else, we're busy here." Germany sighed. "Go take a walk or something."

Italy pouted as he realized there was no way for either of them to come and play with him. He stood up and went to take the ordered walk around the island's forests.

It wasn't a long walk until Italy heard somewhat familiar voices coming from the nearby bushes. There was no way for that to be Germany and Japan, they were still by the seaside. Only when he heard a rather obnoxious laugh did he realize who it was. Panic ran through his veins all over his body, swallowing it in a matter of seconds. He pulled a white flag seemingly out of nowhere before he could hear Germany's voice loud and clear in his head. 'When you see the enemy don't panic. If possible come find me first, before doing anything you might regret.' That's right! The Allies didn't know Italy was there, but Italy knew where they were. He still had time to go get Germany and Japan.

Sneakingly, Italy made his way back to the shore where his friends were. Slowly, but surely, an idea was forming in his head. This island was in a middle of nowhere and the middle of nowhere usually meant there was no one to hear anyone's screams. Italy had a brilliant idea in his head, he just had to tell Japan and Germany.

"The Allies are here?!" Germany almost yelled in surprise as Italy nodded a couple of times.

"And they didn't notice you there, did they?" Japan asked.

"No." Italy answered. "But listen, I know a way we can get rid of them."

Germany and Japan exchanged brief glances with each other. Was this moment really happening? It feels too good to be true. "Let's hear it then." Germany said, not expecting much.

"Well, you see, when I was coming back here to warn you guys, I saw a lot of bugs wiggling around the forest and I thought why not prank the Allies away. That's better than fighting don't you think? And it doesn't even have to be just the bugs we can throw in a lot of other pranks as well." Italy fastforwarded through his idea, Japan nodding along and Germany seemed unsure about it.

"I don't know, Italy. That seems like it would fail." Germany said, brushing away the few strands of hair that had fallen out of their position due to heat.

Japan kept silent for a while, processing what Italy just suggested. "I don't know, his plan has potential, Germany-san."

"See, Japan agrees with me. Come on, Germany, let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it!" Italy took a hold of Germany's arm, bouncing up and down.

"I still think it's a dumb idea, but fine. As long as you let me go." Germany finally agreed. Two against one wasn't a fair play.

"Yes! Let's do it!" But before Italy could sprint towards the place he found the Allies, Germany grabbed him.

"At least wait until the night falls and they are asleep, or else you'll be caught." Germany said. "For now, let's gather everything we need to prank them."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Italy said, breaking free of Germany's hold and sprinting to do his duty.

"If only he was this fast when training." Germany let out an exhausted sigh.

Finally, it was night. Italy had taken Germany and Japan to the place where he found the Allies, having previously gathered enough prank material to last them for weeks. The trio sat there, hidden by the bushes, waiting for the Allies to go to sleep.

Watching the Moon's position, Japan concluded it was around 2 in the morning when all of the Allies went to sleep. They waited for another hour, Italy swaying side to side in an attempt not to fall asleep, then they acted out their plan.

The first victim on their list was Russia. Unsure of how to prank the tall man, Japan proposed they tie the ends of his scarf with his shoelaces. Italy drew a couple of eyebrow lines on his forehead, resembling England's.

Speaking of England, they decided to throw away his tea bags, replacing them with a couple of beetles Italy hunted down. Japan wrote 'You're welcome. Love from America.' in a near perfect copy of the obnoxious guy's handwriting. Germany, meanwhile, stuck a piece of paper which said 'I wet my bed.' at the back of England's jacket.

Their next victim was poor China. Japan knew just the way to prank him, having watched Korea do this in the past. He took China's boxes, which contained the ingredients for his famous fried shrimp and rice, and switched them up. He also added a few unwelcome guests to the mix, a couple of lizards' tails and snails. To top it all off, he made sure to hide his wok away so he couldn't find it in the morning. Italy drew him the English eyebrows as well as some additional mustache.

Germany, meanwhile, chose to take care of America. Rummaging through his stuff, he found quite a few cans of burgers and some buns. With an evil smile on his face, Germany placed quite a few worms inside the burger cans. Borrowing the marker from Italy, he wrote 'Wanker.' on every American flag he could find. Lastly, he added a touch of britbrows, knowing full well America will flip the table about it when he wakes up.

Lastly on their list was France. Germany considered shaving his precious body hair off, but Italy warned him that France was a very light sleeper. A mere sound could wake him up, let alone shaving his body. Japan offered to draw the eyebrows on France, using a special method to make sure the Frenchman remained asleep. As he did that, Italy spotted a canteen next to France's side, undoubtedly filled with wine. He grabbed him and excused himself to Germany, who had just finished placing a fake magic wand next to England, and Japan. Returning a couple of minutes later with a smirk, Italy placed the canteen back to France's side. Their job here was finished, now they just had to wait until morning.

England was the first to arise in the horribly hot morning, walking from person to person in order to wake them all up. There was something strange about everyone, but he figured he was just tired from yesterday.

China got ready to making everyone a nice and satisfying breakfast, but, to his surprise, his wok was nowhere to be found. "Hey, England? Do you have any idea where my wok went?"

"None in the slightest." England answered, waking Russia up. "You can use one of the pots we have inside if you can't find it now."

China sighed, his recipe won't be the same if it isn't made in a wok, but said wok was still nowhere to be seen. "I suppose I should." He got up and pulled a pot big enough to fit for his favorite meal.

Except that the moment he went to drop in the rice, snails greeted him. China screamed. "What the Westernization are snails doing in my rice?"

His scream woke up everyone who had yet to be awakened, as well as the three people hiding in the nearby bushes. Everyone exchanged glances between each other, now noticing what was wrong with their faces.

"China, dude, when did you grow the britbrows? And mustache?" America chimed in.

"I could ask you the same thing! Why do you have those ugly lines on your forehead?" China responded.

"Now, I tried my best." Germany whispered in their hiding, covering Italy's mouth carefully to not give their position away.

"Dude, my forehead is nice. Don't insult it."

"He's right, America. You have grown some serious eyebrows overnight." Russia interrupted, attempting to stand up properly to his full height, but failed to do so. His shoelaces tied to the ends of his scarf tripped him up and he fell face first to the brown ground.

"What was that just now?" France asked.

"No idea." China answered, walking towards Russia to flip him over.

"Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Ki-" Russia kept repeating before China turned him back to his position.

"That being said, why do you all have the britbrows?" France, the sensible one, asked.

America and China looked at France, then at each other, then back at France. "I don't know how to tell you this, but you have them too." China finally said.

France's face went full on traffic lights... whatever that means. First it was bright red, then vomit yellow and, finally, frog green. He finally looked like his real self. "You're saying... my beautiful eyebrows... on which I worked so hard all my life... look like caterpillars!?"

America and China could only nod. France took it as a sign for him to faint. Just as England made his way back from his tent. "America, you wanker! What the bloody hell did you do to my tea?!" He screamed angrily, in anger.

"Dude, I didn't do anything to your tea." America raised his hands in the air as England marched towards him.

"Really? Then why is my tea box full of bugs with a note from you?!" England showed the box to America's face, the last of beetles crawling out of it.

"Those are beetles. You know, like the band from your place." America stated.

"Who?" China chimed in.

"What?" Came from England.

"Mmmmhm..." And Russia, somehow.

"Never mind." America rolled his eyes. "Point is, that wasn't me. I don't even write that nicely."

"Whatever, I'm just going to cook." China said, taking the shrimp can, but finding that it was actually full of rice and... lizard tails. The sky fell upon his eyes. His precious dish was ruined- although there was still a possibility that this new meal would taste good- ruined!

England kept pressing on the fact that America tampered with his tea, until America pointed at his forehead and demanded an explanation. Then he noticed a stick with a star poking out of England's pocket. "You cursed us all! We're all forced to look like you and you blame me for the tea!"

"What the hell are you even on about? I did nothing! You tampered with my tea!" England argued back.

"Whatever! I'm just going to eat! At least then I don't have to look at you!" America said, retreating back to his tent.

"Insufferable child!" England said, walking away for a very short distance before being grabbed by someone.

"What did you do to my flags?! And my burgers?!" America spat furiously.

"What kind of drugs did you take this morning?! I never touched your flags! They give me rashes!" England responded, equally furious.

"Well, no one else would write 'Wanker' on them because no one else uses that word! And why did you put worms in my burgers?!"

"I never wrote anything on your flags! And I never put worms anywhere, but you bloody deserve them!"

"You two, could you shut up for a minute?" France finally awakened from his hundred years nap, but without a kiss from a beautiful prince or princess or genderneutral royalty. "I need a drink from your fighting." He grabbed his canteen and took a sip. Weird taste for a wine. He spat it out, realizing what it might be. "America."

"What?" America asked.

"Come over here." America did as he was told. "Smell it."

America smelled the canteen. "Wine?"

France shook his head. "Smell again."

America smelled again, catching a scent that really should not be present in any wine ever. "Dude! That's piss! And you drank it!"

"I spat it out-"

"You drank the piss, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You know what," China started. "I propose we all get off this island. There's too much weird things going on, we can deal with the Axis when we're as far as possible from this place."

It was a suggestion no one could refuse. They quickly gathered their stuff and helped Russia back on his feet. Just as they were ready to leave, England grabbed his jacket without realizing something was stuck to it. Everyone who walked behind him on their way to their ship had a good laugh, as did the Axis.

"You know," Germany started. "We should do this more often."

"I agree." Italy said as Japan nodded.

"Good. Now let's get off this island as well."

And they boarded the ship with the Allies, taking them all back to civilizations.

Meanwhile, back on the island, a wok was slowly being eaten by the local vegetation. Legend has it that it remained there for the rest of its metal days.

[dgennk]

Undertale: Saving Dreemurrs - Halloween

NOTICE: [I just wanted to write something and post it, to get back into writing. I’m working on an AU for Undertale, cause that’s captured my heart since January, and I just wanted to get my toe wet on something silly. Why Halloween? Cause I had some white Reese’s when I was thinking this up. Maybe I’ll rewrite it for Halloween this year? Anyway, thank you for reading, any constructive criticism would be helpful.]  Friday October 31st, Halloween. 

Within the Underground, this date held no special worth, just another day to live for the next. On the surface however, this date marked a special occasion. As the sun would set, children and adults alike would leave their homes, adorned in costumes for one goal. 

Sugar rush inducing, cavity spawning, sweet candy. 

Sour, bitter, tooth-rotting sweet. Candies and confections were prepared and bought for costumed humans of the night.

Today this tradition held strong, especially with the inclusion of monsters that once called the Underground their home.

This could be merrily seen within the Dreemurr abode, as its children returned from hours of trick-or-treating. Four children scrambled into HOME with pillow cases filled to bursting with sugary delights.

“Your outerwear, children!” their trailing guardian, Toriel, reminds as she shuts the door behind her. 

“Yes mom!” “Got it!” and “Yes, Ms. Toriel!” choired the children, closely followed with the shuffle of clothing. Scarves and jackets, tossed at the basket beside the second entryway, the act hardly slowed their rush.

With a skip into the foyer, Frisk kicks off his final boot and breaks for the right hall. “Last in trades free!”

“Huh?” Asriel gasps while MK lets out an indignant ‘Dood!’ Only for them to be left behind by the other human child.

Chara cackles, their foam forked tail wiping as they turned the corner.

The two boys scramble to give chase, neither willing to part with their treasured trove.

Toriel hummed as she hung her snaily shawl a step from the door. A light thud had her eyes flutter but the bleat that proceeded drew a knowing smile. “Perhaps,” she muses, “I should unveil it a tad earlier.” Her smile grew. 

“That wasn’t fair,” mumbled Asriel, sitting at the center circle mat, sack of candy buried in his lap. He rubbed his snout, slightly bruised from his fumble.

“Come on dude, don’t be sore,” Mk laughed beside him, his candy sack untied from his chest.  “Your mom’s dress was just too long!”

“I needed it for my costume!” proclaimed the prince fervently. He threw his arms around his bag and dug his face deep. It worked in tandem with his wide-brim green hat to obscure his downcast look. “And, it’s a robe, not a dress.” 

“But like,” MK began, a brow risen with a perplexed twist of the snout. “Could have made it shorter.”

“That,” chimed Chara with a playful smile, reclined on the far right bed. “Wouldn’t be authentic.”

A groan escaped the hidden boss monster. “Chara, please stop teasing.”

The jester’s smile grew. “Okay, Az.” Bells jingled with their chuckle. 

Frisk tapped his painted chin in thought, face turned up for the starry-blue ceiling. He hummed and nodded then headed for the down prince. “I change my mind,” he leans down, while reaching a blue hand into his right pocket.

“Hm? Frisk?” The prince peered up.

“Here,” The child placed a treat on Asriel’s bag. A blackish ball, about the size of a doughnut hole, with ovid sprinkles topped on its shell. It was inside a clear twist wrapper, no labels to be seen.

“Where did we get those?” Chara mumbled aloud, with a lean to peer over.

A small smile came over Asriel’s mostly shaded visage as he accepted the gift. “Thanks Frisk.” He opened the wrapping, it was hard and didn’t smell much like anything. He still appreciated it all the same. He slipped it between his teeth and took a small crunch to it.

His reaction was a bit of a surprise to the others watching. 

Chara paused to stare, wide-eyed. Their brother had taken to the candy well. No, that was an understatement. The boss monster moaned in delight, holding his cheeks as whatever piece of confectionery in his mouth seemed to overload his senses. She couldn’t help but twist her head at Frisk, only to stare, numb from his expression. His eyes gleamed scarlet in the shadow of his hair, a telling smile etched onto his face. “... Frisk?”

“Azz, dood,” MK calls, “WHAT is that?”

The boss monster only groaned before turning his head with a bob. “Oh,” he muttered lightly, his voice muffled somewhat. “It's greht, like moh’s pie, but,” he pauses to savor the taste on his tongue. “It's tahfy!”

“Eh?”

“Hey Asriel!” the rubber-clad Dreemurr smiled wider. “You can have more if you want!!” 

“Critical hit!” Chara grunted.

“You ghot more?!” Asriel bursts to his feet, his own candy forgotten to the floor. 

Hook. The thin smile on Frisk’s face had blossomed into a face-splitting grin. “Yeah, a dozen if you wanna trade!”

“Oh,” pauses Asriel, “Righht! Uhm… Do you have sohmethhing in mihnd?”

Line! “Well…” he draws it out before clicking his teeth. “How many of those big Reese's do you have?!”

DEVIL! Chara screams internally.

“Oh, those,” Asriel smiles brightly. “Papyrus and Undyne were giving out the really big stuff, they gave me 5. I think they were… jumbo?” he trailed, unsure and flustered. He hadn’t really read the packages at the time. He perked quick though, beaming. “You can have them! If you want?”

“Yes! Yeah!!” Frisk chirps while pulling a white bag from his candy sack. With palpable eagerness he presents it forward to the prince, only for both to stumble. A blur swooped between and snatched it, leaving the two at a loss!

Chara’s glower twinkled, standing high on the bed parallel to the other. “You sneak!” she accuses. “No one gave us these on our route! Where did you get them?”

Frisk’s brows pulled down with his angry expression. “You can’t take my trade candy! Give it back!”

“You had these since the start, didn’t you!?” Chara ignored Frisk’s demand and instead placed the bag behind their back, their other hand pointed at the miffed blue munchkin.

“N-No I didn’t!” protested Frisk.

“You’re a bad liar!” She giggled angrily in retort.

“Come on guys!” MK yawned at them. “Let’s just start eating candy already!”

Frisk whips his hand out to point at Chara, squinted eyes burning red hot, “Not until Chara lets me get my Jumbo Recess!”

“Your Jumbo Recess?!” Chara repeated with a haughty laugh. “You knew I was going to trade for them! I always trade with Asriel!”

Now the youngest Dreemur pulls back, arms crossed over their chestplate. “I didn’t forget! I got something for you too!” he ends in a huff.

“Wait, what?” blinked Chara.

“I was gonna trade for your Rice Krispie Treats with this!” he finds and reaches into his candy-sack. After a shuffle he takes a deeper reach inside and withdraws an oval shaped treat, just a few inches shorter than his face, covered in a clear wrinkled wrapping.

Chara was speechless, arms falling slack.

“Where did you get that giant egg! Is that chocolate?!” Mk was right by it, looking over the super-sized egg thing.

“I got it from the store,” Frisk started with a matter-of-fact tone. “It was pretty hollow but mom helped me put cream inside, so it’s like those egg things you get from dad.”

“Cadbury... Eggs.” Chara slowly corrects. Realization struck her brain. Frisk and mom had made this for them. 

Her heart swelled in the chest, rosy cheeks now venetian despite the grey paint. “Hey…” She couldn’t look Frisk in the eyes. “Sorry.”

“Trade this for your Rice Krispies and we good!” the boy gave a thumbs up.

“Sheesh,” Chara smiled, and reached for the bag she dropped. “I get it, I get it.” She didn’t meet a paper bag, instead her hands landed upon something fuzzy. She blinked and looked down.

Asriel was draped over his bed. Where the bag once was, his head was now. His green hat now on the floor, forgotten. He was chewing groggily, half-lidded eyes gazing at nothing in particular while a large mass of stringy, sticky taffy laid within his maw. Wrappers with nothing inside laid all over the bed. The bag was on the floor now, torn open.  

Frisk grinned.

MK laughed.

Chara groans.

“...Uh?” Asriel tried to speak, however, the tough candy made it embarrassingly difficult.

“Hey dude!” Mk, popped in front of Frisk excitingly. “You got something big you can trade me?!”

“Fufufu!” The child laughs in the manner of a hero. He turned to Chara and handed them the monster of a creme egg. Then, he turned around and walked to his sack, shrouding it from prying eyes.

MK waited with a held breath as the human slowly rose, his arms held before him but close to hide what laid in his hands. 

“Are you ready for this?” Frisk asked anonymously. He didn’t need to look back, he could feel the intensity of MK’s nods. He could hear the whisper of their draft. “Then get ready…

For the dragon!!”

“YOOOOOO!” Frisk had unveiled a stupidly thick gummy in the crude shape of a dragon head, about the size of, again, Frisk’s face.

“Where did you get these?” Chara balked.

Frisk closed eyes glinted and presented the gummy head with one hand and pointed at the star-struck monster. “For your ring pops, I’ll give you this! Deal?”

MK had like 8 of those. 

“Deal!”

With the transaction concluded, Frisk happily handed the massive wyrm head to the monster who lifted it with his maw alone.

“Fris-” Before Chara could repeat her question, a knock came at the door, drawing all the children’s attention.

A laugh came as the door knob was turned. “I’m sorry to interrupt in on the fun-oh!” Toriel paused, seeing the state of the four. “I can see you’ve already begun trading. Well, I have to ask you to finish your candy for the time being.”

“Uh?” MK whines, gummy the size of a fist in his mouth. “Ow cooh?”

She couldn’t help her excitement. “Well, It was for the party later this evening, but I had so many ingredients I made a second chocolate pumpkin and snail pie!” she clapped. “I thought we could share that between ourselves before the rest arrive.” 

The looks on Chara and Asriel’s faces would always confuse Frisk. Pumpkin and chocolate sounded good but they had a feeling there would be more snail out of the three.

“Hael?” MK questioned. 

Asriel was first on his feet this time, a blur of rainbow met everyone in the room as he dashed out first.

“H-Hey! Wait Asriel!” Chara leapt after them. And MK soon followed after, though with far less enthusiasm than before. This left Toriel and Frisk.

The Boss Monster could only be amused by her child’s expression. She reaches out her hand. “Do not worry,” she gave a wink. “I had made a slice with no snails for yourself.”

And with that Frisk beams, racing for their mother and gripping her hand tight. They were all-but dragging her out now, a toothy smile on their face.

Toriel laughed, “my, my.” And closed the door behind them, to go enjoy a treat with her children.

[ofwolvesandbutterflies]

Valentine’s Special

Stray Kids Bang Chan x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Valentine’sDay!AU...? 

A/N: woah you guys, two posts in a month, I feel accomplished. Anyways, happy valentine’s day! shout out to all my single ladies (and gentlemen and people) out there, love you, love yourself. Being single is cool. Being part of a relationship is cool, too. Have a great valentine’s day! I hope you like it!

“Oof,” I grunt, literally jumping onto my couch. Decked out in a sweatshirt 3 sizes too big for me, exercise tights and a beanie I haven’t washed for probably a good 2 months, I check out my surroundings.

Fried chicken? Check

Mint chocolate moose tracks? Check

Hallmark Channel on? Check

Box of chocolates on the table bought for me from me? Check

Work phone off (probably not the best idea but whatever)? Check

Two spoons? Check

I close my eyes, not really sad at all. I mean sure, some people think it sucks to be single on Valentine’s day, but then again, those are the people that aren’t single. They have to worry about doing all this stuff for their significant others, making sure they have presents, chocolates, flowers, whatever… Honestly though, it seems kinda burdensome. It’s nice not having to worry about all that as a single person. Besides, I have my best friend.

A sudden aggressive rapping of knuckles on the my front door interrupts the moment of calm I have before the commercial break ends on Hallmark Channel.

“__! Open the damn door, my hands are full!”

Rolling my eyes, I can’t help the smile that slips onto my lips. My neighbor and best friend for what seems like it’s been forever yells, also very aggressively, summoning me to aid his very urgent needs. I push myself off the couch and yell back.

“Hold your horses, Chan! Gimme time to climb out of this mountain of fried chicken and ice cream.”

“Hurry up, you slug! I swear, knowing you it’s going to be next year by the time you get to the door.”

“Don’t tempt me, boy.” The smile grows on my mouth. I don’t ever feel the need to have a significant other, because with a best friend like Bang Chan, I really don’t need one.

“__, do you want the snack foods I bought for you or not? I could just leave and share them with the other boys…”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming. Chill bro.” When it comes to food, I wouldn’t care if you were in a dark alley holding out some sketchy looking slime, food is my main motivation in life. Any threats saying you’d give my food to someone else and I will do anything so long as it means that that food is mine.

Hurrying my snail’s pace to the opening the door, I’m met with a cheeky grin decorating my best friend’s face.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, you single loser.”

I open the door wider for him to come inside, the smile on his face mirroring my own.

“Shut up, Chan, we both know you couldn’t get a girl for shit.”

He laughs, loud, boisterous, and lively, a beautiful, clear sound I know for sure I wouldn’t be able to live without.

“I’m hot and you know it.”

“Yeah, so is burnt noodles but they’re still ugly as fuck.”

As I’m shutting the door, Chan is still somehow able to shift all the bags of trashy and unhealthy food to clench his heart in mock hurt.

“I come here all the way from Seoul and you still treat me like trash? I’m hurt.”

I scoff, taking a bag.

“We’re still in Seoul, you twit. It only takes you like 10 minutes to get from the Entertainment building to my apartment by skateboard, 20-25 at the most walking.”

He chuckles lightly and sets the remaining bags down by the edge of the coffee table before collapsing on the couch. The second his head hits the cushions, he closes his eyes and lets out a long exhale. I start to feel guilty for making him wait at the door. He is a kpop idol afterall, and he works his ass off daily. I can only imagine how long he practiced today and what time he went to sleep this morning.

“Not my point, but true.”

Settling down beside my best friend, I open the bag, shuffling through the cheap food he got.

“Mmm… spicy beef ramyeon, chocolate, ace crackers, shrimp chips, sweet rice pies… did you get any hapi bing bing or choco pies?” I inquire, my eyes still on the food.

“Wha...?” I hear him say, mumbling through a half-sleeping mind. I smack his leg lightly to wake him up.

“Did you get any hapi bing bing?” This time, Chan manages to crack one eye open.

“No. I didn’t know what kind you wanted.”

“How about choco pies?” I set the bag down, looking over at him. He closes his eyes again, resting a forearm over his face and tosses another bag towards me.

“Should be in here.”

I’ve just opened and started to search the bag when my hand brushes against a familiar thin, rectangular box.

At that exact same moment, Chan’s eyes blink open in realization and he sits straight up, arms shooting out to grab the bag. I’m too quick though, and I pull out the well known box of chocolate Pepero sticks.

“Chan…” I squint at him, holding up the box. Never in the last 7 years has Chan gotten me a box of Pepero sticks. Tossing the box into his lap, I dig further into the bag and discover one, two, three more boxes of pepero sticks. White chocolate with cookie crumbles, strawberry, matcha…

He stares at me blankly, a pretty crimson pink quickly materializing on his cheeks.

“Uhm… Those were supposed to be a surprise.”

I laugh, placing the bag back onto the floor and cracking open a box.

“Why wait? You haven’t ever given me pepero sticks before. Something special happening today?” I ask, smirking. Though I’d never admit it verbally, I know very well that he’s attractive, as does my currently quickly beating heart.

From my peripheral vision, he gulps visibly, hands twitching slightly at his side.  

“Ahh… I thought it’d - I don’t know - be fun to play the Pepero game today.”

I lean closer to my seatmate, trying to look as innocent as possible and pushing my lips into a duck face to tease the reddening boy beside me that’s doing everything in his power not to look me in the eye.

“Something you want to tell me, Chan?”

“No.” Without saying much of anything else, he grabs the box, opens the bag, and shoves a stick in my mouth.

“Don’t move and don’t bite down.” Looking up at the older boy in shock, there’s a spark of determination twinkling in his eyes. Taken aback by newfound courage in the what used to be the pink-faced shy boy beside me, I can’t really find it in me to mess around with him further.

Still as a statue, I watch, probably cross-eyed as he scoots closer and closer to the pepero stick poking out from between my teeth. It seems the closer he gets, the hotter my body temperature rises. My heartbeat is spiking drastically. My breathing is speeding up. My brain scoffs at me.

For someone who’s just fine being single, you’re sure getting nervous.

Finally, his mouth reaches the opposite end of the chocolate covered biscuit and his hand cautiously reaches towards me to cradle the back of my head. I can only stare as he nears me, his bites slow and careful. He gets closer and closer and his gaze fixes itself on me. For a moment, it seems time slows. My ringing heartbeat decelerates in my head and I’m holding my breath.

I’m frozen. One more bite and his lips brush mine, stuttering only for a second before fully enveloping them in a kiss.

I don’t know if it’s even possible, but I’m more frozen than before. Then, instantaneously, my body moves as if it has a mind of its own. My eyelids slide closed and my arms wrap themselves around my best friend’s lithe waist. I know I should pull away, I know I should stop myself, but his free arm slides me into his lap and his soft lips are plush and captivating.

Soon enough, he pulls away, breathing heavily. I’m left, still shocked, still breathless. The silence between us is deafening and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen next.  

It’s Chan that breaks the silence with an awkward but welcome laugh.

“Is… Is there actually any of the pepero stick left?”

I immediately unfreeze as if that’s the magic phrase and laugh.

“I guess not.” Deciding that I don’t like sitting on his lap, rigid as an icicle, I lift his arm and relax into it.

All of a sudden, it’s him that’s gone stiff.

“Chan~” I whine. “It’s just me.”

“I know,” he all but whispers. “But I also happen to kinda like you.”

I giggle softly.

“So you did have something to tell me.”

He relaxes finally and hums,

“Yeah… I guess I did.���

“I kinda like you, too,” I mumble, subconsciously tracing random patterns on his taut stomach with my fingertip. His arms wrap themselves around me and he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Chan.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, __, my favorite person in the whole world.”

I snuggle into my best friend and now significant other’s side, the hallmark movies and pepero sticks more or less forgotten.

“Wait… What was that you were saying about me not being able to get a girl for shit?”

“Shut up, Chan.”

[lacepaint08-blog]

‘Top Chef Kentucky’ Recap: A Chinese New Year Showdown in Macau

In the latest episode of Top Chef Kentucky, the action switches from the Bluegrass State to Macau, where the five remaining contestants compete in the finals — with a few surprise guests as their helpers.

At the start of the episode, the five remaining cheftestepants are clearly excited to have made it all the way to the finals. The stakes are perhaps highest for Michelle, who got eliminated earlier in the competition and then reentered the game via Last Chance Kitchen. “I fought my way back for a reason — I’m ready to kick some ass,” she says. Meanwhile, Eric is proud of the fact he’s been able to get to the finals by cooking West African-influenced food every step of the way. Adrienne remarks that this is the part of the competition where she needs to “start showcasing as a top performer.” Kelsey feels like people have underestimated her in the past, but now she says she’s “here to win big.” And Sara tells the camera, “I’m not going to be cocky about it, but yeah, I think I can beat them.”

After arriving at the fancy MGM Macau hotel, the five chefs give each other hugs and crack open a bottle of Champagne. In the morning, judge Graham Elliot, who owns a restaurant in Macau, arrives to take them on a tour of his favorite local markets. With umbrellas in hand, the chefs inspect various fruits, vegetables, and types of seafood at the market. “I’m soaking up every single thing he’s saying, because I’m either going to use it down the road, or I’m going to use it in the next 15 minutes for the Quickfire,” Kelsey says. And true to her prophecy, once the chefs arrive on the roof of the market, they are greeted by Padma Lakshmi — it’s Quickfire time.

For this challenge, the chefs must create a dish inspired by local market ingredients. Each of them will get to use one cut of the fish that they picked up with Graham as their protein, but they will need to find the rest of the ingredients down in the market. They have 45 minutes, total, to gather their ingredients and cook.

Despite the language barrier, the chefs mostly manage to find what they need in the market. Sara reveals that she actually tried to learn Cantonese before the trip, and Kelsey ends up befriending one vendor who enthusiastically helps her out with a bunch of ingredients, including a bag of mystery bag of white powder that turns out to be cornstarch — perfect for her fried gum fish dish. Although a few chefs struggle with their proteins, all of them manage to finish their dishes on time.

Graham loves Adrienne’s clam ceviche with watermelon, but thinks that Sara’s bowl of raw scallops with apples and water chestnuts is too soupy. Padma likes the flavor, but not the texture, of Eric’s snails with black bean sauce. And Kelsey’s fried gum fish and Michelle’s cuttlefish noodles with Chinese beans both get high marks from the judges. Graham tells the final five, “The person that wins the Quickfire obviously is the one that really embraced the challenge, and that person is Michelle.” A winner of several previous Quickfires, the San Francisco chef is thrilled by this victory. “It feels amazing to hit the ground running, and show the judges that I’m inspired by the things around me,” Michelle says.

Left to right: Brandon Rosen, Brian Young, David Viana, Eddie Konrad, Justin Sutherland, Michelle Minori, Eric Adjepong, Kelsey Barnard, Sara Bradley, and Adrienne Wright.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

After the Quickfire, Padma introduces Jowett Yu, the chef/proprietor of Hong Kong’s popular restaurant Ho Lee Fook. He will be one of the judges for a Chinese New Year-themed elimination challenge, where the chefs will have to cook a meal for 200 guests. After telling the chefs that they’re going to get “a little help” with this challenge, Padma then summons five eliminated Top Chef contestants — David, Justin, Brian, Brandon, and Eddie — onto the roof. Each of them are holding trays of ingredients adorned with fortune signs.

Since Michelle won the Quickfire, she not only gets to pick who will be her sous chef, but also the order in which the other chefs will get to pick their helpers. The match-ups are: Michelle and David; Adrienne and Brian; Sara and Eddie; Kelsey and Brandon; Eric and Justin. “There’s one more thing,” Padma tells the crew. “Since this is the Year of the Pig, it’s only right that you use pig as your main protein.” The chefs have 30 minutes to shop down at the market, and they will get four hours to cook for the event the next day.

After menu planning with their sous chefs, the final five contestants are treated to a surprise dinner at Five Foot Road, a ritzy restaurant in their hotel. During the meal, Sara reveals that she is going to be making a version of shrimp and grits using cauliflower instead of cornmeal, a move that sounds highly suspect to Adrienne. (As you may recall, they have an old rivalry, of sorts, dating back to the Rupp Arena challenge.) Meanwhile, Kelsey is frustrated to learn that Adrienne is planning to cook a pork belly dish with Brian the meat maestro, since she wanted to put slices of that protein on top of her pea dish.

During prep for the meal the next day, Eric tells Justin that he wants to “bring a little bit of Caribbean flavor to Macau flavor” with his curry. Kelsey is worried that she’s overcooked her peas. And Adrienne and Eddie run into some issues with their sticky rice bites. “There’s a lot of little projects that I wish we had time to finish in the back kitchen, so we are just cutting rice cakes and broccoli florets kind of to order,” she explains.

Left to right: Adrienne Wright, Padma Lakshmi, Jowett Yu.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

Service at the party goes relatively smoothly, although the judges dole out a bit more criticism than usual during this elimination round tasting. After sampling Eric’s curry, Padma tells the chef, “You’re a bit timid with the chiles — I mean, this is the area of the world that can really handle chiles.” Jowett asks Eric, “Do you think maybe some rice or something would be good to soak up something like this?” The chef explains that he thought about that, but wanted to “stay true to everything this challenge asked for.” Later in the evening, after taking a bite of Adrienne’s sticky rice, Padma tells the chef, “Well If you were trying to burn my palate, you succeeded.” She thought the dish was served too hot. Despite these remarks, it seems that the judges generally like what the chefs have put together.

“All you chefs picked up right where you left off,” Tom tells the gang at the judges’ table. “Food was really clean, really delicious, and also I like that most of you at least weaved your own tradition into the Chinese New Year tradition as well.” Graham adds, “It was great to see you guys get dropped into another part of the world and another culture, and infuse your own stories into the food.” The judges think there were two clear standout dishes from this challenge: Michelle’s pork lettuce wrap with a cold noodle salad, and Kelsey’s pea with mushroom broth and Portuguese sausage.

Because she used local ingredients that she was not familiar with in a dish that was both satisfying and soulful, Kelsey wins this round. “This is a very real surreal moment,” she says. “Being on the top for the Quickfire and then winning this challenge is exactly the pace I want to set. I definitely have a new confidence since coming to Macau — I feel like I could win the whole thing.”

Left to right: Adrienne Wright, Kelsey Barnard, Sara Bradley, Michelle Minori, Eric Adjepong.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

With the winner of this challenge announced, it’s time to move onto the bottom three dishes. While Tom liked Eric’s curry, Padma had some issues with this dish. “There was a lack of clarity to it,” she remarks. “It felt a little muddy. I couldn’t pick out the different spices or ingredients.” After hearing this feedback, Eric defend his dish choice. “Respectfully, I disagree,” he says. “You can have curries from anywhere, and when you can’t specifically pinpoint what you’re eating in a curry but it’s at least good to you, that to me is a good curry, because everybody and their mother makes a curry.” Tom jokes that his mother never made curry, and Padma responds, “It’s not that I have to be able to pick out every ingredient, but I want some complexity to that curry, and I think that’s what that curry needed.”

Tom liked Sara’s prawns but thought her cauliflower grits were lacking... something. Padma, on the other hand, found her broth to be a bit too salty. Meanwhile, Graham had problems with the composition of Adrienne’s sticky rice and pork dish. “Adrienne, to go and have the one bite for an event where you’re cooking for 200, it might make sense, but I think for the spirit of what Chinese New Year is, it was off the mark for that,” the judge says. Tom liked the dish more than Graham, but thought the ingredients didn’t really come together.

“We’re here celebrating Chinese New Year, and it kind of reminds me that all celebrations no matter what culture, it really revolves around food,” Tom tells the crew. “When you invite people into your home and you cook for them, it’s about as generous as it can be, and there was just one dish that just left us wanting for a little bit more.” And that dish was Adrienne’s sticky rice with pork. It’s time for the New England chef to pack her knives and go.

“This isn’t how I wanted finals to go for me, but there’s not much I regret about this cook today,” Adrienne says on her way out the door. “My future is really up in the air. I would love to go home to Goshen, Connecticut and be able to raise a family there, open a restaurant, and thrive in this community that’s meant so much to me. I don’t quite know exactly where I’m going to head yet, but I’m really excited about all the possibilities.”

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/1/18246088/top-chef-holy-macau-recap-season-16-episode-13

[securepain9-blog]

‘Top Chef Kentucky’ Recap: A Chinese New Year Showdown in Macau

In the latest episode of Top Chef Kentucky, the action switches from the Bluegrass State to Macau, where the five remaining contestants compete in the finals — with a few surprise guests as their helpers.

At the start of the episode, the five remaining cheftestepants are clearly excited to have made it all the way to the finals. The stakes are perhaps highest for Michelle, who got eliminated earlier in the competition and then reentered the game via Last Chance Kitchen. “I fought my way back for a reason — I’m ready to kick some ass,” she says. Meanwhile, Eric is proud of the fact he’s been able to get to the finals by cooking West African-influenced food every step of the way. Adrienne remarks that this is the part of the competition where she needs to “start showcasing as a top performer.” Kelsey feels like people have underestimated her in the past, but now she says she’s “here to win big.” And Sara tells the camera, “I’m not going to be cocky about it, but yeah, I think I can beat them.”

After arriving at the fancy MGM Macau hotel, the five chefs give each other hugs and crack open a bottle of Champagne. In the morning, judge Graham Elliot, who owns a restaurant in Macau, arrives to take them on a tour of his favorite local markets. With umbrellas in hand, the chefs inspect various fruits, vegetables, and types of seafood at the market. “I’m soaking up every single thing he’s saying, because I’m either going to use it down the road, or I’m going to use it in the next 15 minutes for the Quickfire,” Kelsey says. And true to her prophecy, once the chefs arrive on the roof of the market, they are greeted by Padma Lakshmi — it’s Quickfire time.

For this challenge, the chefs must create a dish inspired by local market ingredients. Each of them will get to use one cut of the fish that they picked up with Graham as their protein, but they will need to find the rest of the ingredients down in the market. They have 45 minutes, total, to gather their ingredients and cook.

Despite the language barrier, the chefs mostly manage to find what they need in the market. Sara reveals that she actually tried to learn Cantonese before the trip, and Kelsey ends up befriending one vendor who enthusiastically helps her out with a bunch of ingredients, including a bag of mystery bag of white powder that turns out to be cornstarch — perfect for her fried gum fish dish. Although a few chefs struggle with their proteins, all of them manage to finish their dishes on time.

Graham loves Adrienne’s clam ceviche with watermelon, but thinks that Sara’s bowl of raw scallops with apples and water chestnuts is too soupy. Padma likes the flavor, but not the texture, of Eric’s snails with black bean sauce. And Kelsey’s fried gum fish and Michelle’s cuttlefish noodles with Chinese beans both get high marks from the judges. Graham tells the final five, “The person that wins the Quickfire obviously is the one that really embraced the challenge, and that person is Michelle.” A winner of several previous Quickfires, the San Francisco chef is thrilled by this victory. “It feels amazing to hit the ground running, and show the judges that I’m inspired by the things around me,” Michelle says.

Left to right: Brandon Rosen, Brian Young, David Viana, Eddie Konrad, Justin Sutherland, Michelle Minori, Eric Adjepong, Kelsey Barnard, Sara Bradley, and Adrienne Wright.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

After the Quickfire, Padma introduces Jowett Yu, the chef/proprietor of Hong Kong’s popular restaurant Ho Lee Fook. He will be one of the judges for a Chinese New Year-themed elimination challenge, where the chefs will have to cook a meal for 200 guests. After telling the chefs that they’re going to get “a little help” with this challenge, Padma then summons five eliminated Top Chef contestants — David, Justin, Brian, Brandon, and Eddie — onto the roof. Each of them are holding trays of ingredients adorned with fortune signs.

Since Michelle won the Quickfire, she not only gets to pick who will be her sous chef, but also the order in which the other chefs will get to pick their helpers. The match-ups are: Michelle and David; Adrienne and Brian; Sara and Eddie; Kelsey and Brandon; Eric and Justin. “There’s one more thing,” Padma tells the crew. “Since this is the Year of the Pig, it’s only right that you use pig as your main protein.” The chefs have 30 minutes to shop down at the market, and they will get four hours to cook for the event the next day.

After menu planning with their sous chefs, the final five contestants are treated to a surprise dinner at Five Foot Road, a ritzy restaurant in their hotel. During the meal, Sara reveals that she is going to be making a version of shrimp and grits using cauliflower instead of cornmeal, a move that sounds highly suspect to Adrienne. (As you may recall, they have an old rivalry, of sorts, dating back to the Rupp Arena challenge.) Meanwhile, Kelsey is frustrated to learn that Adrienne is planning to cook a pork belly dish with Brian the meat maestro, since she wanted to put slices of that protein on top of her pea dish.

During prep for the meal the next day, Eric tells Justin that he wants to “bring a little bit of Caribbean flavor to Macau flavor” with his curry. Kelsey is worried that she’s overcooked her peas. And Adrienne and Eddie run into some issues with their sticky rice bites. “There’s a lot of little projects that I wish we had time to finish in the back kitchen, so we are just cutting rice cakes and broccoli florets kind of to order,” she explains.

Left to right: Adrienne Wright, Padma Lakshmi, Jowett Yu.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

Service at the party goes relatively smoothly, although the judges dole out a bit more criticism than usual during this elimination round tasting. After sampling Eric’s curry, Padma tells the chef, “You’re a bit timid with the chiles — I mean, this is the area of the world that can really handle chiles.” Jowett asks Eric, “Do you think maybe some rice or something would be good to soak up something like this?” The chef explains that he thought about that, but wanted to “stay true to everything this challenge asked for.” Later in the evening, after taking a bite of Adrienne’s sticky rice, Padma tells the chef, “Well If you were trying to burn my palate, you succeeded.” She thought the dish was served too hot. Despite these remarks, it seems that the judges generally like what the chefs have put together.

“All you chefs picked up right where you left off,” Tom tells the gang at the judges’ table. “Food was really clean, really delicious, and also I like that most of you at least weaved your own tradition into the Chinese New Year tradition as well.” Graham adds, “It was great to see you guys get dropped into another part of the world and another culture, and infuse your own stories into the food.” The judges think there were two clear standout dishes from this challenge: Michelle’s pork lettuce wrap with a cold noodle salad, and Kelsey’s pea with mushroom broth and Portuguese sausage.

Because she used local ingredients that she was not familiar with in a dish that was both satisfying and soulful, Kelsey wins this round. “This is a very real surreal moment,” she says. “Being on the top for the Quickfire and then winning this challenge is exactly the pace I want to set. I definitely have a new confidence since coming to Macau — I feel like I could win the whole thing.”

Left to right: Adrienne Wright, Kelsey Barnard, Sara Bradley, Michelle Minori, Eric Adjepong.

Carmo Correia/Bravo

With the winner of this challenge announced, it’s time to move onto the bottom three dishes. While Tom liked Eric’s curry, Padma had some issues with this dish. “There was a lack of clarity to it,” she remarks. “It felt a little muddy. I couldn’t pick out the different spices or ingredients.” After hearing this feedback, Eric defend his dish choice. “Respectfully, I disagree,” he says. “You can have curries from anywhere, and when you can’t specifically pinpoint what you’re eating in a curry but it’s at least good to you, that to me is a good curry, because everybody and their mother makes a curry.” Tom jokes that his mother never made curry, and Padma responds, “It’s not that I have to be able to pick out every ingredient, but I want some complexity to that curry, and I think that’s what that curry needed.”

Tom liked Sara’s prawns but thought her cauliflower grits were lacking... something. Padma, on the other hand, found her broth to be a bit too salty. Meanwhile, Graham had problems with the composition of Adrienne’s sticky rice and pork dish. “Adrienne, to go and have the one bite for an event where you’re cooking for 200, it might make sense, but I think for the spirit of what Chinese New Year is, it was off the mark for that,” the judge says. Tom liked the dish more than Graham, but thought the ingredients didn’t really come together.

“We’re here celebrating Chinese New Year, and it kind of reminds me that all celebrations no matter what culture, it really revolves around food,” Tom tells the crew. “When you invite people into your home and you cook for them, it’s about as generous as it can be, and there was just one dish that just left us wanting for a little bit more.” And that dish was Adrienne’s sticky rice with pork. It’s time for the New England chef to pack her knives and go.

“This isn’t how I wanted finals to go for me, but there’s not much I regret about this cook today,” Adrienne says on her way out the door. “My future is really up in the air. I would love to go home to Goshen, Connecticut and be able to raise a family there, open a restaurant, and thrive in this community that’s meant so much to me. I don’t quite know exactly where I’m going to head yet, but I’m really excited about all the possibilities.”

Eat, Drink, Watch.

Food entertainment news and streaming recommendations every Friday

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/1/18246088/top-chef-holy-macau-recap-season-16-episode-13

[seunfunmionalaja-blog]

Bukka Hut Lekki

Block 69A, Plot 8, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Lagos.

If you’re looking for authentic Nigerian food at an affordable price, Bukka Hut is your place!

I decided to go to the Bukka Hut in Lekki with a friend for a lunch date because I was craving Nigerian food and was tired of cooking at home! I had never been there before so I really did not know what to expect. Unlike restaurants where you sit and wait to be served, Bukka hut does its best to keep to the idea of a Bukka, which is basically like a road side joint where you can get fresh hot Nigerian food, from Jollof Rice to Swallow.

The interior was quite dark and dingy when I got in which was off putting and I felt turning around. However, like any new experience, I decided to meet it with an open heart.

They have a wide variety of food and serve different things like Yam Pottage, Peppered Snails and other Nigerian food. They have an orderly queue and system in which you tell the person serving behind the counter what you would like to eat, and they add it to your plate then total your bill at the end. I was mainly there to judge one thing on this visit, and that was their Jollof Rice.

If you can see the picture clearly, you can see that the portion was quite good. I had the full portion of Rice and I struggled to finish it because I was so full. The Chicken was also big, which is always nice.

In terms of taste, the Jollof rice was really, really good. It tasted like Party Jollof with a with a bit more edge to it. I could taste a bit of Ginger in the rice and that got me excited as I have been hooked on Jollof rice cooked with Ginger recently. I also liked the fact that it was not too oily, and I had it with a bit of Stew on top, which was a tasty fried stew (or Obedindin in Yoruba).

Now although the Chicken was big and nice, I was a really disappointed because their ‘peppered Chicken’ had virtually no pepper at all. I was expecting some proper heat in the Chicken but sadly it did not live up to its name. Also it seemed as though it had been a bit over fried as it was dry and tough to chew in some places. My lunch date had the moin moin, and she mentioned that even that had more pepper than the chicken!

Bill

Jollof Rice N450

Water N100

Chicken N600

Final Verdict

In conclusion, although the Chicken disappointed me due to their price and the quality of their Jollof rice, I can definitely see myself coming back to try their Amala and Efo/Ewedu (although with no Peppered Chicken again!).

[incendir]

anything (for your heart)

07:03 woohyunie: hey 07:03 woohyunie: i left my wallet at home do u guys have cash 07:05 howonie: yeah 07:06: woohyunie: can i borrow some 07:06 howonie: no 07:07 sungyeolie: if i say yes will u tell your crush from hell not to be on my ass for getting a c 07:08 woohyunie: sure 07:10 howonie: he’s lying 07:11 sungyeolie: i kno but he’s also my last dying hope not to be murdered by the eyeless demon of 3a 07:14 woohyunie: :) i’ll be at the gate waiting for payment 07:14 sungyeolie: fuck off

every friday there’s a bake sale during all lunch periods. all of the school’s sports teams and other extracurricular clubs and organizations take turns picking slots throughout the year to raise money for themselves - uniforms, group trips, and donations for the clubs oriented to community service. woohyun’s lunch period just so happens to be the last lunch period of the day, and also the period before his calculus class.

today, the girl’s swim team is holding their bake sale, which explains why the makeshift counter at the front of the cafeteria is constantly surrounded by a crowd throughout the entire period and even between bells. woohyun has heard from upperclassmen that the two best bake sales of the year are always either of the swim teams or the school choir. the swim teams are the largest in the area, meaning the sheer quantity and variety of food being sold is already enough to gather long lines.

woohyun only manages to be at the front because the class he has before lunch always lets out a fair five minutes before the bell actually rings. he buys lemonade, a frosted doughnut, and a brownie, wraps and loads the two baked goods into napkins, and carts off the lemonade after handing over sungyeol’s money. he pockets the change because sungyeol still owed him from last week anyway, but woohyun is a good friend so he hadn’t hounded after him for the money.

it’s better like this usually anyway - it means sungyeol owes him money and a favor.  

howon and sungyeol are already at their usual table, unpacking their lunches when woohyun sits down on howon’s remaining side and begins doing the same. “for us? you shouldn’t have,” howon says, reaching out for the brownie before woohyun slaps his hand with his water bottle.

“he doesn’t feed his friends, howon,” sungyeol says through a mouthful of bread and ham, “only math nerd beta cougars.”

“wrong,” woohyun takes the brownie that howon had eyed and bites half straight off. “i also feed myself.” he smiles with his cheeks full of chocolate at howon’s disgusted look and dodges the piece of napkin sungyeol throws at his face. the brownie really is good, moist and not too sweet, and woohyun sets it aside while he takes out one of the extra plastic bags he always has in his lunchbox to put in the wrapped doughnut.

“you know,” sungyeol says, “the only reason i’m helping you get his ass is that maybe if he’s getting laid, he’ll be too busy to torture me.”

“you mean he’ll be too busy to kill you for hitting on his brother,” howon snorts, taking a long swig out of woohyun’s lemonade. “his little brother. in middle school.”

sungyeol waves a cracker in howon’s face. “yeah, but he’s seven months younger than us. i asked him when his birthday is when sunggyu-hyung was in the bathroom. meanwhile,” he squints at woohyun, “the eyeless demon of 3-a is two years older than you.”

woohyun leisurely finishes chewing his fourth to last spoonful of fried rice. “if someone hears you saying that out loud and it gets back to him,” he says smoothly, “i can’t prevent your death.”

“there are a total of like four third years in this entire lunch,” sungyeol says dismissively, “and they all always sit outside. you’re missing the point.”

“age is but a number,” woohyun says in a mock dreamy voice that has howon looking so revolted that he makes a grab for woohyun’s brownie before woohyun can react or care. he has change after all - enough to buy him two more brownies on his way out of the cafeteria. “the only numbers sunggyu-hyung cares about anyway are the ninety-nine i got on tuesday’s test and the seventy-four you got on yesterday’s quiz.”

“how the fuck - “ sungyeol starts, before cutting off abruptly and looking slowly to howon, face still stuffed with brownie.

howon swallows the contents of his mouth, and says with a grin that’s both shitty as fuck but also mildly guilty, “no one is judging. we are a judgment-free friend group, and - “

“don’t bother,” sungyeol says with narrowed eyes and a low voice, “coming to my house to get your sneakers today. they are now prisoners of war.”

“i need those to dance - what the fuck, sungyeol,” howon whines as the teachers in charge of supervising the cafeteria begin calling out for the five minute mark before the bell rings. he scowls over at woohyun, as if it’s woohyun’s fault that howon had gleefully come to him yesterday after class, bragging about how he had gotten the highest grade on the algebra quiz and sungyeol had fallen back down to the mid-tier scraps after his extreme but quick rise to the low nineties range with sunggyu’s tutoring.

“i let you have the rest of the brownie,” woohyun shrugs as howon continues to glare at him while he packs up his lunchbox and backpack. “have fun in math, losers,” he thumps the backs of both their heads, before jogging off to the cafeteria’s exit before they can scramble back and reach for him.

he always gets the books that he needs for calculus before lunch so that he can go straight to class once the bell rings and be as early as possible because sunggyu is always incredibly early. woohyun knows, through dongwoo and also through detailed observation that someone of his intelligence only is capable of, that sunggyu’s class before math is history and the hallway for that is directly opposite.

sure enough, when woohyun arrives, the teacher isn’t even in yet, and the only desk occupied is the leftmost one in the second row - right beside woohyun’s.

sunggyu already has his notebook, homework, calculator, and pencil out, leaned back in his seat, thumb padding over his phone as he drinks water from a bottle with his other hand. he looks up once when he hears woohyun step into the classroom, and then back down to his phone as woohyun makes his way to his seat.

he’s about to dig the doughnut out of his lunchbox when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, and pulls it out.

13:51 sungyeolie: don’t forget our deal or i’ll kill u

woohyun rolls his eyes and stuffs his phone back into his pants, pulling the doughnut out the rest of the way and taking a deep breath before he turns around and says, brightly, “sunbaenim.”

sunggyu’s head turns at the same rate of a snail making its way uphill. woohyun has seen the whites of the older boy’s eyes a total of two times in the entire two months they’ve been in the same math class, but dongwoo assures woohyun that means that sunggyu likes him. woohyun thinks that dongwoo probably only thinks that sunggyu’s eyes disappear when he laughs and not also when he glares.

“you got a ninety-nine on tuesday’s test,” sunggyu says testily, pencil tapping at the edge of his notebook, “i know.”

woohyun blinks. “uh - yeah, i did - but - uh, here.” he places the napkin with the doughnut on sunggyu’s desk.

when a full thirty seconds pass in complete silence with sunggyu staring at the doughnut, then at woohyun, and then back at the doughnut, woohyun says, “it’s a doughnut. and i didn’t poison it.”

sunggyu squints at woohyun one last time before breaking off a section of the doughnut and stuffing it into his mouth. his expression evens out from suspicious to appraising as he finishes half of it in less than ten seconds. woohyun takes advantage of sunggyu being preoccupied with the seemingly surprisingly good doughnut and asks then, “d’you want to do that big problem set for monday together this weekend? i already have half of it done but then i got stuck.”

the third year polishes off the remainder of the doughnut and then wipes his fingers neatly on the napkin. he takes a drink from his bottle of water and regards woohyun thoughtfully as he screws the cap back on. “you have eighteen?” sunggyu says in a low voice, and woohyun has to bite the insides of his cheeks to stop from laughing at how conspicuous sunggyu is  making himself sound just asking for the answers to math homework.

“yeah,” woohyun says.

sunggyu’s eyes dart to the door as the teacher comes in with a few students also filing in behind her. “fine,” he says finally, and turns back quickly to face the front.

woohyun’s jaw actually aches with the effort of holding back the grin that is begging to pull the corners of his lips as far as they can go. he takes out his phone and offers it hesitantly towards sunggyu. “i don’t have your number, sunbaenim. i can text you my address after class, unless you want to do it at yours.”

sunggyu takes woohyun’s phone and gives his own to woohyun. his wallpaper is the album cover of what woohyun supposes to be some band. “we can do it at yours,” sunggyu says, “my parents don’t want anyone over when they aren’t home and you can’t drive yet.”

“the subway exists,” woohyun says cheerfully, and sunggyu looks up, something between irritation and almost amusement in his eyes.

sunggyu hands back woohyun’s phone and grabs his out of woohyun’s hand. “you’d better have eighteen right,” he mutters in what is probably supposed to be a threatening voice, but for some reason, it just makes woohyun’s stomach fill with the same fluttering feeling he felt when sunggyu glowered at him from across the chalkboard the first time they ever spoke to each other - the day woohyun had told him he derived incorrectly during the first week of school.

woohyun pockets his phone and spends the rest of the class - the rest of the day - floating.

he’s so ecstatic that he almost forgets, and the bell rings right when he remembers. he barely manages to stand when sunggyu does, tapping him on the arm as the older boy begins packing up. sunggyu turns, blinking in anticipation. “sungyeol got a seventy-four on the quiz,” woohyun says, nodding sadly, watching as sunggyu comprehends this information and the expression on his face goes from blank to, what woohyun can only describe as, the gaze of a predator.

“i’ll see you on saturday, sunbaenim,” woohyun calls out lightly as sunggyu storms out of the classroom, visibly beelining towards the hallway with the first years’ lockers.

20:17 sungyeolie: ur dead to me nam 20:19 howonie: i told u he was lying 20:25 woohyunie: it was a deal not a promise :))) 20:27 sungyeolie: wtf they r the SAME THING 20:28 woohyunie: a deal means a contract and i didn’t sign anything so 20:31 sungyeolie: see if i ever help u again ur literally dead to me idc if the mafia is on ur ass and loan sharks r shooting at u ur dead to me and my wallet forever 20:32 howonie: i told u i was the better friend. im ur favorite now right. 20:33 sungyeolie: asshole u were the one who told him i got a 74 in the fucking first place 20:34 howonie: :( 20:35 woohyunie: this is fun boys but sunggyu-hyung is texting me for details about our study date srry bye 20:35 sungyeolie: …….. 20:37 howonie: don’t forget us when u become a man 20:38 woohyunie: ;)