#you would think that being on here since 2011 that i would have absorbed a lot of this show secondhand

[thenightisland]

at @tragediegh's request: some of the messages sent to a friend of mine while i recently watched avatar for the first time knowing virtually nothing about it ft. my breakdown about people being mean to appa

[elemom]

@legofreak33 Thank you for ordering the Autism Deluxe Special!

Here’s why I think Zane Julien is Nuclear Powered

(Contains spoilers for 2011 ninjago seasons 1-3)

(I also have not finished the show so i might be missing some details)

A singular object that has seemingly infinite energy

Infinite energy is impossible, but there’s something that comes pretty close - radioactive materials. Since they are *literally* emitting energy and can do so for thousands of years, radioactive objects are basically the closest thing to an “object that acts as an infinite energy source” you can get.

Blue Light

It’s blue. It glows.

Now I couldn’t find a specific element that glows blue AND could be used in nuclear energy, as the only one I know of is cesium chloride. HOWEVER. I don’t need a specific element in order to prove my point here.

Cherenkov radiation.

Cherenkov radiation occurs when charged particles (say, an electron) moves faster than light. IRL this is only possible in a medium wherein photons themselves are slowed, such as water, but in the realm of make believe anything is possible. Even if we DO have real world physics in play, it’s totally possible that the energy core just has water inside it along with everything else (the core’s Blue DOES have a bit of movement after all!)

Critical Mass and Going Boom

This is where it gets too easy. They literally say it can reach “critical mass” IN THE SHOW. THEIR WORDS. NOT MINE.

If you aren’t familiar, critical mass is basically a point where there is enough material (a certain *mass*) in one area to cause a chain reaction: An atom releases a radioactive particle, which hits another atom, causing it to release another radioactive particle. Now we have two radioactive particles. They keep hitting other atoms. And so on and so forth. (Strangely, the show seems to reference critical mass as running *out* of energy, which is the literal exact opposite of what it actually is, so i’m opting to ignore that.)

So how does this apply to Zane and the references to a critical mass in the show? I personally like to believe that his “critical mass” was caused by *using too much power at once.* Kinda. There’s probably a control mechanism with neutron absorbers inside the core, so maybe the critical mass was caused by him retracting said absorbers, thus causing a chain reaction. (also as a tangent, titanium is apparently a decent neutron absorber! perhaps the real titanium ninja was the friends we made along the way)

Oh, and by the way. Nuclear objects reaching criticality are known to glow blue.

Pic related.

Difference between this and the core glow would be based on the types of particles, with the former being charged particles in a medium and the latter being neutrons. I think. Idk im a biologist not a nuclear physicist i dont go here i just autism about it

discussion section

So yeah! Dr. Julien just created a tiny nuclear reactor to make his son go. Sure. Fuck it. Who Gives A Shit

Anyway i think that’s all i have!!! This obviously isn’t all encompassing (how did Nya survive holding a piece of the core? Why was the explosion all icy and not like, anything else? How does Zane not kill everybody he meets?) but those can all be explained away in the name of “i have had a special interest in nuclear energy since i was a very small child and nobody can take this away from me.” like maybe people are fine because he just has really good shielding. Or maybe Nya is fine because girls are immune to radiation (totally true fact)

Thanks for reading! Take this piece of uranium ore as thanks for reading this entire post. 🪨

[fluffernuttermemes]

Dark Souls 1 Dialogue Sentence Starters

Sentence starters from NPC dialogue in the video game DARK SOULS (2011). Change wording and pronouns as needed.

“ …I'm done for, I'm afraid…”

“ Regrettably, I have failed in my mission... But perhaps you can keep the torch lit…”

“ …Well, now you know… And I can die with hope in my heart…”

“ …I would hate to harm you after death…So, go now…”

“ … Do you find that strange? Well, you should!”

“ No need to hide your reaction. I get that look all the time!”

“So, I didn’t scare you?”

“I have a proposition, if you have a moment.”

“The way I see it, our fates appear to be intertwined. In a land brimming with Hollows, could that really be mere chance?”

“We are amidst strange beings, in a strange land.”

“ The flow of time itself is convoluted, with heroes centuries old phasing in and out.”

“I was in the wrong. We'll laugh it off, shall we?”

“You've left me with quite an impression. I would relish a chance to assist you.”

“You really are fond of chatting with me, aren't you? If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for me! Oh, no, dear me. Pretend you didn't hear that!”

“You've a strong arm, strong faith, and most importantly, a strong heart.”

“What is it? Have you changed your mind about my offer?”

“Exhilarating, is it not? The power of the Sun!”

“Forgive me, I was just pondering…about my poor fortune.”

“After all this searching, I still cannot find it…”

“Well, you must be a new arrival.“

“Every hunk of metal has its breaking point.“

“The nice thing about weapons… they never betray you. So, pay them a little respect, eh?“

“This land is flush with the mad and wicked.“

“ It's fine to be Undead, but keep a level head, eh?”

“Of course, most fools can't even find their way into that fortified deathtrap.”

“Of those who ventured into the forest, none has returned.”

“Ahh, I know what you're thinking. But I'm no good with those.”

“Don’t get yourself killed.”

“ Well, since you're here… Let me help you out.”

“ Ring them both, and something happens… Brilliant, right?”

“Not much to go on, but I have a feeling that won't stop you.”

“ Coveting thy neighbour is only human, after all!”

“ What are you looking at? Don't try anything clever. You might regret it.”

“Oh, that's all we need. Another inquisitive soul.”

“You may find a clue or two. Unless the ghosts find you first…”

“Sad, really. She's bound to this forsaken place.”

“How do these martyrs keep chugging along? I'd peter out in an instant.”

“Whereas most flee from sickness, he dives right in.”

“You never give up, do you? I don't know how you do it.”

“What? Who are you?“

“I took on [CHALLENGE] alone...”

“You think you're different? That you can handle it?”

“Let me help you out with your soul-searching.”

“We're both on the brink, you see? End of story. You bloody fool.”

“You won't stand a chance. You'll be eaten alive.”

“Still alive? That's a surprise.”

“What’s mine is yours, at a price!”

“Fine then, rush in like a naked babe, and be skinned alive!”

“So, you're that good? Don't need a thing? Bah. it won't be long, before you're begging for mercy.“

“Soon you shall see… You and I are no different… “

“Do not mind me, it does not hurt terribly.”

“Promise me that you will take care of yourself.”

Please, do not cry. I am happy, truly. I have you, don't I?”

“Here, take this. As a token of peace.”

“By the Lords! You damn fool!”

“Right now, you could do as you please with her. The poor little purebred is entirely helpless.”

“What is it, fool? Driven to madness by emotion?”

“We've no time to fraternize. I have my mission, and you no doubt have yours.”

“I only wish there were some way I could help you.”

“My prayers did them no good.”

“It is my ignorance, my frailty that has sealed their fates.”

“I do not warm easily to unfamiliar faces.”

“I was wondering when you might return.”

“Forgive me.. I was absorbed in thought.”

“Quite honestly, I have run flat up against a wall.”

“ …I'm afraid I'm a bit too plump to be outrunning those things”

“Perhaps I could try some rolling… Bah, no chance. My head would spin.”

“Aww, don't be ashamed. 'Tis the fate of vanguards like you and I.

“I'll think of something. We can overcome this, together!”

“ This is quite a fix… We'll need another three, no, maybe five bodies…”

“Wait!… You defeated those monsters?!”

“Next time, give me a chance to come up with a plan.”

“Was that your doing?”

“Friend, I have an idea. A good one, really. … I will ruse those dire fiends, and you can slip away in the confusion.”

“I curse my own inability.”

“It was you who rescued me? Why, thank you.”

“You assisted us both greatly. I can hardly return the favour.”

“Rest assured. I will kill you as many times as it takes.”

“Times are grim; the least you can do is look sharp.”

“I cometh from an age long before thine… I can not stay here for long.”

“In truth, I saw little of what transpired, for mine senses were already fled!”

“But if that were true, then perhaps it is no beast after all?”

“To speak now is premature.”

“Only I know the truth about your fate.”

“Oh, no, don't worry. I've no intention of escape.”

“Sorcery? Don't ask me how it actually works.”

“What do you say, friend? Mind giving that to me?”

“Please, friend, let me have that. I am begging you.”

“You'll spoil my focus.”

“These bones won't fail me anytime soon.”

“… You've got rotten manners.”

“Don't be coming around here without a good reason!”

“Mm, you seem quite lucid! A rare thing in these times.”

“I have a bright idea. Suppose you set me free?”

“Don't frown with regret; peer forward with your head held high.”

“You have great potential. Don't go and die over nothing.”

“I truly appreciate this, and I guarantee a reward, only later.”

“That poor bastard! All his robes and trinkets won't help him now!”

“If he ever comes around again, I swear, I'll have his hide.”

“Are you a Cleric or something?”

“This place is treacherous. Do watch your step, eh?”

“You and I, just a couple of undead outcasts, right mate?”

“But when I came here, I didn't touch any levers, no, not me!”

“C'mon now. What exactly do you think I did?”

“There's a fine stash of treasure right down that hole. I found it first, but…well, we're friends now. I'll split it with you!”

“The trinkets I'll be stripping off your corpse; that's the real treasure!“

“Let's just calm down. Talk about things…”

“You're still alive, I've said I'm sorry!“

“I'm done with looting. I'm a humble merchant now!”

“Believe me on this one, bruv…The man is scum.”

“They're all the same, those rotten clerics.”

“He wouldn't think twice about cutting somebody down.”

“What, nothing appeals to you? Well you must have poor taste.”

[taetaespeaches]

Ok what?? Drunk anon here again and you’re a stan of me?? Girl please. I am your biggest stan. Don’t make me get into a brawl of affection with you! I’ll do it! Test me! (Without knowing me I feel like this sounds very aggressive lol - but it’s just my poor sense of humour, I promise I love you really)

Anywho, Yoongi’s list. This felt like Sophie’s choice. It may make me a basic bitch, but I am a Min/Kid gal till death do part these fics and I. Heart is forever clenched when reading these two, and I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that ALL your Yoongi fics are my faves. I read them front to back, top to bottom, on the regular. BUT, a list had to be made, so here we go.

Absolute absolute absolute faves:

When I say I love you forever, that’s what I mean.

My number one turn on in life is communication. Anyone I invest time into, friends, family or romance is someone I feel comfortable to pouring my heart out to, and vice versa with wanting to hear them give it all to me too. Holding meaningful conversation and feeling heard. So, I think what I loved about this fic is seeing someone as aloof as Yoongi (even though we both know he’s not actually that aloof and he’s just a honey boy) feeling comfortable enough to open up to Kid, and showing he obviously cares about her so much that he genuinely wants to listen to what she has to say. That’s literally all I want in a partner. Also good conversation AND smut? Is it Christmas?

You know I prefer apple jacks

I am a hopeless romantic at heart, who’s had an ever evolving wedding Pinterest board since 2011. And PROUD. So the way this spoke to the little girl living inside of me who has engagement and proposal fantasies. GAH. I just loved everything about this. Yoongi’s sincerity, Kid’s goofy banter. All of it. I will be sending this to any potential candidates who want to become my future husband or wife so they can take notes. Love.

I’d so take you down in a riff off

The world IS DROWNED OUT WHEN YOONGI IS SPEAKING. Period. Same Kid - I get you girl. I just love how soft yet flirty he is with Kid, but then so unbothered with everyone else. This is the exact kind of dynamic I am here for! Also love.

You look like Medusa

Sleepy Min in bed + banter = a swooning drunk anon

Honourable mentions that I also adore with all my heart:

- You should kiss a girl before you leave

- Why would you have the condoms clear across the room from the bed?

- You’re always going to be enough, Kid

- I can’t eat my cup of noodles because the microwave is an asshole

- I’m not walking out on you >> Don’t ever write a cypher about me, I’ll cry

- If your plan was to seduce me upon arrival, it’s working

- I love you more than coffee

- Keep it cute, Min. I’m not fucking you in the dorm shower

- I know it’s 4 am but it’s snowing

- My hands smell like gingerbread

I’m gonna spread these out a bit cause I get they’re LONG, but I can’t stop… I’m having way too much fun with this haha.

Love drunk anon, x

:(( we stan each other and it's cute! We're cute! But I will brawl you, bring it!

I'm cackling at you calling this Sophie's choice hahaha. Loving min/kid doesn't make you basic, it just means you have taste like all the rest of the lovelies <3 I'm so happy to hear you love them all so much aahhh that makes MY heart clench :(

Ok your top favs??? I'm so fond. "When I say I love you forever, that's what I mean" is still one of the fics I'm most proud of bc of how like lowkey but intimate it is and yeah, I'm so excited you enjoyed it so much. And I LOVE that you have a wedding pinterest board with no shame, as you should!!! When I tell you min and kid's proposal is 100 percent what I'd want 😩 was definitely living vicariously through kid there lol. Also yes, we love yoongi just being completely absorbed in kid that he forgets anyone else even exists, that's truly the dream. AND OMG! the medusa one- nearly forgot it existed but ahhh it was so fun to write. And your honorable mentions :( I'm just so happy that you love these so much, it's seriously making my day right now. Thanks for compiling these lists and putting your time and energy into this, it's seriously so sweet and it's making me so soft <3

I hope you're having a good week so far! 🧡

[littleeyesofpallas]

Oh geez, rarely do I get tagged for these sorts of things. I never know how to answer abut I'd feel bad just ignoring it... tagged by— @tides-eddies

Let's get to know our Animanga Fandom mutuals/followers better? 💞

01. How did you find out about anime?

I was maybe 6 years old, my 30-something yo parents started spending time with a couple they reconnected with from high school. Said couple had two sons, one in high school one in college, and they'd baby sit me pretty often while our parents went to dinner and stuff. They were both massive geeks and I basically just absorbed all their hobbies, including "japanimation" and manga. Thus my small child self was imbued with two teenagers' worth of nerdery.

02. What’s your favorite anime?

I'm always so bad about picking "'favorites," it's why these things always weird me out. I guess Master Keaton is one of those shows I find myself going back to more than others. Mononoke sort of fits that criteria too. Revolutionary Girl Utena's up there too. I assume most people that know me on tumblr would assume Bleach is a favorite of mine, but not really? It does command a disproportional amount of attention from me, so maybe that's enough to qualify.

03. Do you have a favorite J-music/K-pop group/singer?

I don't really listen to any K-Pop or J-pop. Last Japanese band I remember liking was probably Maximum The Hormone? and I don't know that I've really actively sought out their music since maybe 2011?

04. When is your bday? And how old are you?

Sometime in August. I stopped doing birthdays a long time ago. I'm a Leo though, I remember that. I think I'm 32 or 33 this year?

05. Currently, what is your favorite fandom anime?

I don't actually interact with fandoms much, which maybe sounds like nonsense when I'm on tumblr... I guess that makes it Bleach by default...

06. Despite the ups and downs of Tumblr, what motivates you to stay here today and do your best?

I dunno about "doing [my] best," but it's built in a way that lets me stay anonymous while gibbering nonsense into a void the way other social media just doesn't achieve. I can maintain the sensation of being in a dark corner murmuring things into the walls, rather than feeling like I'm under a spotlight at an open mic night.

07. Finally, create yourself in this picrew: LINK

(let's be real this only resembles me in the most abstracted sense of a description. I dunno who this nearsighted squall leonheart ass lookin chibi mf is)

I really don't interact with my mutuals enough, i dont think I actually know anything about any of yall...

tagging: @pornosophical @pyreflydust @kaicko @cherry-toxic @bluelightning42

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #18: Madoka Magica Part 1 (Takumi Magica)

(Art by dai)

The anime series that have had prominence in my personal project are at least ten years old now and this one is no exception as Puella Magi Madoka Magica celebrates its tenth anniversary in 2021. In fact, this post has been timed to be released ten years after the finale originally premiered (following a delay as a result of the 2011 earthquake).

This instalment highlights a complication associated with adapting series that are ongoing; some elements are implemented with the knowledge that something is the case, but then new material for the series comes out and it turns out that that thing is not the case anymore. Also, I do some male-centric gender equality because men are hated in current year thanks to SJWs and anime is sexist due to its constant focus on females.

How the involvement started

Madoka Magica was introduced to the project in 2012. In the mainstream series, they were introduced in the Series 7 Salacian Time War arc with seemingly no context, but they had a two-parter introduction in a spinoff series featuring the Fourth Doctor. I didn’t write the episodes, but I did use the titles in a couple fanfictions, titled Grief and Souls and The Girl Who Lives Forever, which showed my “interpretation” of the episodes, which was essentially the Doctor being involved in the plot of Madoka Magica. Looking back, it was a bit cringey and I’ll admit, I never watched the series in its entirety more than a few times, so my understanding of the series wasn’t as deep.

Much of the details I provide here may not match my initial visions back in 2012, not that it matters in the context of this series. On top of that, the ongoing state of the series has led to changes in the status quo, as this instalment details.

For the purposes of this project, Mitakihara is located northwest of Cardiff, past the Brecon Beacons along the A470 road.

Takumi Kamijō: The Magical Boy

Events here take place following the end of the TV anime. When the Salacian Time War happened, Parker enlisted Homura, Mami and Kyōko to be part of his army of 72. At the same time, Hiroki was kidnapped by Akari’s cousin, Daniel, and taken to his base in the Serra do Mar mountain range where he was subjected to the Dehydrator. Takumi was born from Hiroki’s sixth incarnation as a result of the ensuing meta-crisis regeneration. This left Hiroki requiring help to regenerate fully, resulting in Takumi’s “twin”, Kumiko, being born some time after.

It should be noted that at this point in time, Takumi appeared similar to Hiroki with black hair and he didn’t have a name yet. Also, due to the nature of Kumiko’s birth, Takumi would refer to Hiroki and Akari as his parents even though he would be considered Hiroki’s “sibling”.

After finding some clothes to wear, Takumi leaves the base and walks through the mountains to Santos, where he joins the battle against the Salacians at its climax. Following the battle’s end, Takumi makes his way to the Doctor and Parker, who entrust him to Kyōko and give him the task of working together with the magical girls to defend Mitakihara. At this point, Takumi moves on to his own spinoff series, aptly named Puella Magi Takumi Magica.

Upon arriving at Kyōko’s hotel room, Takumi sees her feeling sad and gets her to open up to him (somehow). It is then that he learns about Sayaka and her sad story, at which point he decides to “evolve” himself into a “reincarnation” of her by using the 15 hours of residual regeneration energy to turn his hair and eyes blue. Seeing his new appearance and likening it to the sea, he decides to give himself the name Takumi, though Kyōko states that while he may look like Sayaka, he will never be her, a fact which Takumi acknowledges.

Some time after, while exploring Mitakihara on his own at night, he encounters Kyōsuke Kamijō and Hitomi Shizuki, the two people who made Sayaka heartbroken. Following them to an alley, Takumi finds a metal pipe and beats the two of them up as revenge for Sayaka. He also decides to torture Hitomi by beating Kyōsuke up even more. They are only saved from certain death when Homura, Mami and Kyōko see the scene and pull Takumi away. This event leads Hitomi to make a contract with Kyubey and become a magical girl, wishing for the strength to fight back against Takumi.

After witnessing Homura, Mami and Kyōko fighting wraiths in the city, Takumi becomes determined to become a magical girl, or rather, boy, so that he can work together with them to defend Mitakihara like the Doctor asked him to. Though they initially laugh it off, the girls take Takumi to see Kyubey, but he refuses to make a contract with him because he is not a girl. After Takumi breaks the necks of a thousand Kyubey clones, he relents and allows Takumi to make a contract with him out of interest to see what would happen. Takumi wishes to honour Sayaka’s legacy by fighting in her place and as such, he gains powers similar to that of Sayaka’s. Unbeknownst to Kyubey at the time, fulfilling Takumi’s wish would be his undoing.

(These are just my impressions of what Takumi’s magical boy form would look like. Art by モリコ/とーま, purincipium/flaon and gureipu)

This ends the first major arc of the spinoff. Moving into the second major arc, Takumi learns that there are magical girls scattered all over Mitakihara and the world and makes it his mission to unite them as one. As such, Homura, Mami and Kyōko become the first members of Takumi’s team. Learning about how the Soul Gems and Grief Seeds work, Takumi uses this information (and latent Time Lord knowledge, yada yada yada) to invent the Incubation Cleanser, which would automatically purify any Soul Gems put inside it so that magical girls can fight without fear of falling into despair and disappearing/becoming witches. Think of it like in Rick and Morty when Zeep created the Miniverse as a replacement for the Gooble Boxes.

Hitomi, now a magical girl, finds Takumi and fights him as revenge for attacking her and Kyōsuke. After a couple of skirmishes, Hitomi decides to challenge Takumi to a battle – if he wins, she will join his team, but if she wins, she gets to take Takumi’s life. Takumi comes out victorious in the challenge and Hitomi joins his team, with Takumi forcing Kyōsuke to become a magical boy as security to ensure Hitomi’s loyalty. It is also at this point that Takumi takes on the surname Kamijō.

Takumi leads his team to Asunaro City in an attempt to recruit more magical girls for his team, despite being warned that they would be stepping onto the territory of other magical girls in the process. After some conflict, Takumi would gain the cooperation of Kazumi and the Pleiades Saints. He then found a place to establish a base for him and his group, which he names Torchwood Pleiades in honour of the two groups.

This is all that I have written for the series’ setting. Only two seasons of the spinoff were broadcast in 2012-13; the developments that follow are post-spinoff. During the course of the spinoff, Takumi and Kyōko’s relationship develops, but their resolution would be revealed in the mainstream Doctor Who series. Due to various factors, Kazumi Subaru, Kaoru Maki and Umika Misaki would be the only surviving members of the Pleiades Saints by the end of the spinoff.

The Rebellion Incident

Takumi’s character was created in 2012 during the development of the three Madoka Magica films. Learning that Sayaka would be revived in The Rebellion Story raised a conflict between her and Takumi, given that the latter was created as a replacement character for the former. As a result, Takumi did not have any involvement for most of my 2014 stories, mostly because I didn’t know what to do with them. I later figured out a solution and planned to write a special for Takumi Magica titled Afterrebellion, but I never got past the first chapter. What I’m about to tell you know is an impression of what that story would be like.

During the 50th Anniversary Series in 2013, Takumi and Torchwood Pleiades would have significant involvement in the stories. Takumi gained a sonic modulator from one of the enemies of the series and modified it for his own use. In the sixth block, the spirit of Sayaka transforms Takumi into herself for some temporary bullshit I didn’t write. In the ninth block, Takumi reveals that he is aware about the upcoming events when he says that there is a worse day coming for him, much worse than Hiroki’s death or Koshi Castle. Takumi and Kyōko get engaged at some point, but Takumi delayed their marriage in order to deal with the oncoming issue.

Around the events of The Rebellion Story, Kyubey came to regret making Takumi a magical boy because his actions subverted everything he was working for. He exiled Takumi to a pocket dimension, which he later came out of somehow. When Takumi came back, he saw Sayaka and quickly realised that he would lose everything, even Kyōko, if he allowed her to live as she was; after all, his main purpose for the past couple of years was to take her place and he couldn’t be left with nothing after everything he had done. Takumi proceeded to quickly confront Sayaka and absorb her into himself.

What follows is a fight between Takumi and Sayaka; since Takumi wouldn’t allow Sayaka to leave his body, she decides to fight him for control of his body. It was easy for Takumi to conceal the fact that he was having an internal conflict in public; since his face and hair wouldn’t necessarily be that different, he just had to wear a big-ass coat or something that wouldn’t show Sayaka’s breasts popping out every time she managed to gain control of his body.

Despite Takumi’s best efforts however, all is unravelled one night when Kyōko tries to have sex with Takumi. Kyōko discovers what is going on and after Takumi and Sayaka explain themselves, Kyōko gets them to find a way to cooperate. Eventually, the two distinct individuals become in sync with each other, allowing Sayaka to take control of or split from Takumi’s body. Takumi and Sayaka would later experiment having sex with themselves and having a threesome with Kyōko.

By the end of 2014, Takumi and Kyōko got married. This plot point wasn’t mentioned at the time, but in a way, Sayaka and Kyōko got married as well thanks to it. It’s honestly astonishing how much fanart I see of male Kyōko with female Sayaka but not male Sayaka with female Kyōko. I honestly think it would have been easier for Takumi to be in Kyōko’s place, but she’s not the dead girl at the start, Sayaka was.

Anyway, following the events of The Rebellion Story, which was nicknamed “the Rebellion incident” by Takumi, Homura exiled herself from Torchwood Pleiades in order to fulfill her role as the devil of the new world. Thanks to whatever Homura did (I didn’t watch the movie, I only relied on wiki info lel), the Incubation Cleanser was made redundant, but witches, wraiths and magical girls still existed and therefore, so was Torchwood Pleiades. Takumi reformed his team, with the exception of the Pleiades Saints, and somehow recruited Madoka to replace Homura’s place, giving her what was necessary for her to be a productive member of the team.

The Next Evolution

Alongside the Shinkengers, the Magirangers were one of the first teams to join UNIT’s Superhero Project during its beta testing stage in 2014, with two more magical girls joining them in 2018:

MagiRed: Kyōko Sakura

MagiYellow: Mami Tomoe

MagiBlue: Takumi Kamijō

MagiPink: Madoka Kaname

MagiGreen: Hitomi Shizuki

MagiShine: Kyōsuke Kamijō

Wolzard (Fire): Homura Akemi

MagiIce (Mother): Nagisa Momoe

While developing the equipment, Takumi accidentally created an extra MagiPhone because he forgot about Homura’s situation. He attempted to seek one of the remaining Pleiades Saints to give it to, but he was attacked by Homura, who stole the spare MagiPhone and used it to transform into Wolzard.

In one of the Superhero Project preludes, the Magirangers and Shinkengers worked together to defeat Hiroki and Narutaki, who had been turned into Grim Reaper vessels by Evil Death.

The Magirangers’ main feature in Gokaiger would be in the second episode, which follows the storyline of the third episode of the original Gokaiger. After the Gokaigers were separated by Salamandam’s volcanic blast, Takumi would test the Doctor and Marco to see if they were worthy of using the Magirangers’ Megazord Powers. Kyōsuke would give Kai a test as well by having him fight Wolzard, who defeats him in a Megazord battle.

The second part of the episode features Homura attacking the Gokaigers, Magirangers and Dekarangers as Wolzard with her Nightmares and Homulilly minions. Once the Magirangers and Dekarangers defeat Homura’s minions, the Gokaigers morph into the Dekarangers to finish off Wolzard. After the Gokaigers defeat the Centaurus Wolf Megazord, Homura fights them as Homulilly, only to be defeated by the Legendary Patrol Megazord. Following the battle, Takumi is insistent on having Homura rejoin Torchwood Pleiades, but Sayaka says that they “don’t need a demon like her”.

Later on, Homura fights alongside Takumi and her former friends in the crossover special when the Rangers and Riders are turned against each other. She would appear again in the series finale alongside Nagisa when they fight Prince Vekar’s invasion fleet with the other Rangers.

In the third Space Squad movie, Rassilon would accuse Takumi and his brothers of being homophobic due to them “taking” their girls away from their true (lesbian) lovers. Sayaka doesn’t blame Takumi for doing what he did; in fact, she is grateful to him for keeping her legacy alive when she wasn’t and now, she only wants to make sure that everyone can be happy.

Before I can continue with Takumi’s story, I will need to cover another story first, which is the story of the other magical boy, Yuki Yamaki. Once again, I’d like to remind everyone that Takumi’s backstory was retroactively written following his introduction because of the way I liked to write stories back then. See you in the next instalment for the continuation of this saga.

[aimai-ronri]

Reworking the Fuzzy Gaming Quest

This is the first time I've ever blogged publicly about something like this. I usually talk to friends about it, but I just as often don't say anything, because when I talk about video-games I get hyperfocused and sometimes the conversation takes a long time, so I often feel like it's a bit rude to get people wrapped up in it. But I remembered I have a tumblr now and people actually blog on here sometimes, so: prepare to suffer.

To set up why I'm so weird about games allow me to explain: first of all, I'm obviously not neurotypical in some way I don't know but one day would like to figure out. SECOND, I've been playing video-games literally since I can remember. My first real memories of cognition are watching my dad put cartridges in the NES, and climbing on the bed to put our Thai bootleg cart in there myself so I could play weird sprite hacks of Super Mario Bros. So anyway, gaming has factored heavily in my life since the beginning.

Anyway long story short, this has led to, for a long time, me wanting to leave some kind of legacy behind me in the form of a trail of beaten-up old video-games. Often this takes the form of just wanting to curate out a collection (physical or unholy--I mean digital) that I can leave behind in some state of completion, but on top of that it comes as me wanting to sit down and truly spend time with the games that are most important to my history over the course of my lifetime.

This has led to me making innumerable 'systems' for approaching the task of having a humongous backlog of video-games (some might say longer than is completable than anyone in a life time, and I recognize this) and often these systems get replaced or revised for being inadequate in some way. The latest no-thought system on my part was the Fuzzy Gaming Quest, in which the goal was basically to play through games starting from the beginning of time and blasting through at hyper-speed, with the intention of covering as much ground in order to induce familiarity as fast as possible with arcade games from an era I've rarely played (but longed for in my old man's soul).

This was working but I quickly ran into a snag (after recording about 250 videos 😥): I wasn't spending as much time with individual games as I'd like by any means. On one hand, I was backlogging games I was enjoying just to get them out of the way and continue the progress. On the other, sometimes I wasn't sure how much time you'd even spend with a game to consider yourself familiarized enough to rank it in some way, without necessarily having to beat everything (who has the time?). Not to mention arcade games that have no viable ending for the regular player (Pac-Man, Galaga, etc).

So anyway all this is leading up to me explaining the next iteration of the Fuzzy Gaming Quest. Here's a picture!

What you're looking at is essentially a 7 day scoreboard for various games that I selected out as important during my previous pass through the 70s and most of the 80s. These are all games I wanted to play more of or possibly log in a list.

7 days is my naive answer to how long I think would be good to spend on a game, in order to get competent enough at it to get a decent score and/or feel you've experienced your average game enough to go ahead and put it somewhere in a list. It might seem like overkill for a simple arcade game (though I'd argue you need to play repeatedly and give your brain time to absorb it to get the true experience), and it may seem like underkill for an RPG (though I'd argue that most RPGs probably aren't changing much more if you've been playing for 7 days already, but this doesn't forbid from continuing to play if I choose to), but this is my naive and probably flawed answer, anyway.

This is meant to serve the purpose of: - Progressing reasonably fast (notice this is a list of basically banger games everyone has heard of, I will probably only include a few games here or there that are lesser known that I just happen to like--I'll also be avoiding some consoles intentionally that I don't particularly like (like the Odyssey 2, sorry, it's my list though--convince me otherwise if you like)) - Filtering into some kind of "best of" list (if I don't even want to play it for 7 days (in brief sessions), it must not be very good after all and doesn't deserve to be on any best of list I would leave behind me--games that I do get through the 7 days I should understand enough to rank competently enough to make myself happy) - Giving me an excuse to spend more time on the games that really matter to me, today, in case I get hit by a bus tomorrow - Giving me a target for when I'm able to comfortably say I've experienced a game enough and don't need to feel bad about moving on if I want to but still haven't "beat it," and also leaving room for playing more if I like (I can sort it, take it off the board, but finish it anyway on the DL) (Also, if I do beat it, I can stop there with the board) - Satisfying whatever kind of ADHD thing I have going on by allowing me to keep a variety of games on rotation for some amount of time and not just getting stuck behind one game at a time - Breaking game experiences down over multiple days to allow a longer time to think about them and grow accustomed to them, also to allow me to fit them into my busy schedule by playing Space Invaders on the toilet for ~10 minutes - To leave behind a journal of high scores or information about how far I got in various games as I plod on

So, you may (rightly) ask: What's the point of all this? Why can't I just play games that I like and call it a day?

Well my first answer would be, "shut up I know you're right I just can't, my brain is broken," but my second answer, the one I would say aloud, might be that I really have always wanted to take a targeted approach to going through all of game history and that's what this is in service of.

I have no false expectations about getting all the way through game history up to now in one lifetime, at least not without sacrificing a lot of games in the process. I definitely won't ever get to the point where I'm always keeping up with contemporary games. It's lucky for me that I mostly fell out of favor with games around 2011 for various reasons, but really it had been a steady decline of interest since about 2005 or so. I have a shorter-hand target, but if I were to ever reach it, I'd like to keep going on, even if it means playing PS4 games in 2061 when I'm almost as old as my dad is now.

Anyway, your second question (and wow, if you made it this far) might be: "so what does this mean for your tumblr, which I care about intimately after seeing 20 posts, and was gutted when you temporarily took a break, and have been looking for meaning in my life ever since?"

Well, true believer, if you want I might post my 7 day high-score for various arcade games or something along with some pictures or videos of high points of the game (when I get to games complicated enough to have cool art). I haven't decided yet. I'm open to suggestions! I'd love to see people try to (and succeed!) at beating my scores (I'd feel like I influenced someone into maybe playing some old, great game they wouldn't have before deciding to just then).

If nothing else I hope it was interesting to see my thought process about this stuff.

If that's not true, I hope you were entertained by a write up of someone's journey ever deeper into video-game delirium.

And yes, I will get frustrated with the system and change it again in approximately a month.

[gothwarlocks]

17. How were you introduced to the fandom? 25. What type of ship would you fly? and 30. Do you have any headcanons (was thinking of how you've talked about the underground scene in SW but this can be about anything)?

thank you Raven!! 🖤🥰

Placing under a cut bc I ended up rambling a lot! It’s a long post.

17. How were you introduced to the fandom?

I didn’t actively participate in any true Star Wars fandom for a while, actually. When SWTOR launched in 2011 I was about 16 and hadn’t had great interactions with SW fans since the majority I bumped into were gatekeepy cishet men, and being a closeted gay trans kid... lol, you get it. I mostly just chatted with irl friends about stuff I was excited about. And also, the fandom wasn’t really established too well on here yet, so there’s that. I would peek around tumblr occasionally but short of a couple people chatting about it or posting fanart there wasn’t a sense of community yet (at least, from what I saw).

In 2010 though, idk If anyone will know about this at all but if you ever heard of Clone Wars Adventures I was very very present there haha. I interacted with mostly other teens or the occasional chill adult that was there for some reason (this was a very...kid-oriented online game). I was hounded a lot by other players bc I would always be top 5 on the leaderboards for a couple of the silly little minigames :) it was really fun, actually! I would log on and since you can see peoples’ online/offline status, I would get messages within minutes from players wanting to challenge me to a 1v1 of some sort lol. There was also instanced housing, and there was more free reign on building stuff, so people got really creative. I myself built a functioning cantina/music venue on the roof of my Coruscant apartment (which should not have been reach-able lol) that was sometimes used for group chilling.

If anyone ever is interested, look up some videos. The things players would build and boundary-break to do is very cool lol. Once SWTOR launched though, players that had formed friend groups or guilds just migrated there. It was interesting to see!

25. What type of ship would you fly?

HMMM there are so many ships around in the EU lol. Almost too hard to narrow it down... When I was a kid I was obsessed with A-wings, X-wings, and Naboo starfighters. From SWTOR, I think my favorite ship is either the Phantom, for it’s sleek and elegent design, or the smuggler’s freighter, for it’s cozy and communal atmosphere.

30. Do you have any headcanons?

Oh yeah!! Like you mentioned I do love thinking about subcultures in the galaxy and expanding on that, but here’s a few for SWTOR and EU(?) that I enjoy:

(Sorry in advance for how many run-on sentences there are and if anything just sounds harebrained lol. CW for talk of transition, I suppose!)

Dathomirian Zabraks in the Old Republic Era... I just accept that their witchy culture(s) have existed for millennia, but were just very isolationist and did their best to remain undetected from the rest of the galaxy--different groups could have had other policies though. The group portrayed in CW could be maybe the last group to survive, or something like that (since in Jedi Order it’s presented like that, right?). Anywho, as a matriarchal culture that unfortunately enslaves Zabrak men, I think they would have a unique take on gender. I think trans women/trans feminine people would be wholly embraced and exalted as having “ascended” out of the male lower caste for discovering who they really are, and trans men/trans masculine people would be, well, not so cherished(?) having--and I say this as a trans man--“lowered” or “belittled” themselves. The witches can change/enhance body shape through magic, as seen with Maul and Savage. So I imagine they would help trans people that want to physically transition to help fit them into the social roles they were always meant to have, and beyond that there isn’t much to blink at. I headcanon Lorn still has the skin pigmentation of a Datho witch (and he retains some of their powers), but his tattoos are given to him by fellow Zabrak men and his horns and other body characteristics are given to him through witch rituals. And as for non-binary Dathomirian people, I would hope they just have the choice to belong to either the witch clans or Zabrak tribes. I’d love to hear a non-binary person’s take on this, to be honest 👀

Rattataki should have little to no sexual dimorphism, and they could stand to look more...alien. (Plus, they desperately need lore-building.) I just think of all the species they could have done this for out of the game, this one could have been it.

I also just absorb and adopt a lot of HC’s I see going around for all sorts of stuff, here’s a few of my fav that aren’t my own:

Twi’leks having headgear designed for trans or gnc twi’leks to help them express themselves. Also lekku accessories in general are very cute and fun to think about.

Cathar behaving a little bit feline... In cute ways :)

Togruta with sharp teeth and montrals that can grow into all sorts of forms!

Sith Purebloods having black sclera and pointed ears is a pipe dream of mine but it’s cool if they don’t given their integration with Humans.

[moscow-jackboot]

Someone Old

Plot: Y/n sees her ex-boyfriend, Andrew Hozier-Byrne almost 3 years after their breakup. Y/N and Andrew started dating around the Fall of 2011 and broke up in December of 2016 because Andrew couldn’t balance his career/touring and their relationship. Y/N initiated the breakup due to Andrew’s neglect. They are seeing each other for the first time since their breakup in this story, which is set around October of 2019. I plan on doing some more writing with this storyline, some of it before the breakup and some it of afterwards.

Word Count: ~2.3k

“Do your friends know you’re here?” Andrew asked you timidly.

You smiled. He knew your friends weren’t fond of him after the breakup. “No. I didn’t want to give them a chance to talk me out of it.”

He nodded and finished his whiskey, motioning to the bartender for another.

“What about yours?” You asked hesitantly, wanting you to fill the silence.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it.”

Ouch.

He noticed the pained look on your face caused by his words and tried to fix it. “Not because I didn’t want to see you. I really wanted to see you tonight. Maybe too much. I just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to disrupt your life like this.”

“You’re not disrupting my life at all, Andrew,” you reassured him. You never imagined that you’d be spending a Monday night after work seeing your ex-boyfriend perform at a theater half an hour from your apartment, and then going out for drinks afterward. When Andrew texted you asking if you wanted to see him when he was in town for a show later that month, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You considered pretending to be sick when you woke up this morning. You were too nervous about seeing him again after almost three years of no contact between you two.

“I didn’t think it would be so slow here tonight,” you commented.

“Well, it is Monday,” he said with a shy smile. You noticed that not only had his face thinned out a little since 2016, but apparently, he’d done something to his teeth. They were perfectly straight now. How could you miss something so big?

“So why did you reach out to me? I mean, I’m glad you did, but what made you decide to call me after almost three years without talking?” you asked, shifting your body towards him.

“I couldn’t handle being in your city on another tour and not even trying to see you again. It would drive me fucking crazy.”  

You knitted your eyebrows a little, pleasantly surprised by how candid his answer was.

“Did you want to talk about…?,” you trailed off, not wanting to say the words “the breakup.”

“Uh, yeah. There’s some stuff I never got to say. Is it… is it okay if I say it now?,” he asked you gently, not wanting to upset you.

“Better late than never,” you responded with a chuckle, which you were sure looked more like a grimace. He licked his lips and started talking.

“I ehm, I never wanted to hurt you. That...that truly wasn’t my intention. And I know that that sounds fucking ridiculous now, since how else could my behavior have affected you, you know? Ehm, of course, I hurt you. We were together for so many years, and we were so... intimate with each other.” He looked to you, cautious of his words. “And I don’t just mean sexually. You knew me inside and out. And I don’t think anyone can ever figure you out, but I think I was pretty close.” He smiled at you sheepishly. You chuckled and looked down shyly, your body filling up with the same feeling of warmth you’d felt the very first time you’d met Andrew all those years ago in university. You looked back up when you heard him speak again.

“I remember when we broke up, you asked me how I could throw you away after we’d shared so much of ourselves with each other….after we’d experienced so much life and-and... love together. And I just didn’t have an answer for you. And I hated that. I hated that so much. I hated that for you and I hated that for us. Because there’s never a good reason to not put somebody first when they’ve always been good to you. And you’re the one who got hurt because I was so focused on my career that I always let you —us— become my second priority. And losing you hurt for me too, but I earned that, you know?” The words rushed out of his mouth as if he’d been dying to say them for a long time.

You nodded, your eyes wide open, still absorbing every detail of his appearance after three years.

He continued. “Those were the consequences of my own actions. I always hated seeing you sad, or frustrated, or angry. And you felt all those things those last few months that we were together, and probably for months after. And I couldn’t fix it because I was the one who was making you feel that way.” He pursed his lips in thought.

“You never called.”

“Hm?,” He asked, raising his thick eyebrows. His green eyes looked so sweet and earnest. You’d always loved his eyes. They were the first eyes that made you understand the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.”

“After we broke up. You just let me go. At first, I just thought you were giving me time to cool off, but then you didn’t try anymore. You never tried to get me back. You just let me walk out of your life and that really fucking hurt.”

“I didn’t think you’d take me back. And even if you did, I knew I didn’t deserve you again. You’re the most amazing person I have ever met and I absolutely destroyed everything we ever had. You deserved — deserve — someone who loves you too much to do what I did to you. And after all the shit I put you through, I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew I couldn’t do that for you anymore. I changed too much. I’d already been selfish and it tore us apart. I wasn’t going to be selfish again by asking to be in your life again when I didn’t have a place there.”

“That’s such a fucking cop-out. You could have made me happy if you just cared enough to try!,” you exclaimed, tears welling up. “Andrew, you said it yourself. We broke up because you stopped fucking caring. You stopped making me a priority. You treated me like shit. You would go on the road and you promised to call me every night and instead you left me by the phone crying myself to sleep wishing you would keep your promises. You would cancel trips to see me for gig offers or to record. The last year we were together, you forgot my birthday and our anniversary. You stopped caring, Andrew.” You waited a beat to verbalize how he’d made you feel all that time ago, amazed that you were able to keep yourself from raising your voice even if you were getting emotional. “I wasn’t important to you anymore.”

“Sweetheart, you were always important to me. I know I was kind of a shit boyfriend at the end, but you still meant the world to me.” Andrew said. You could see the heartache in his eyes. They were filled with tears too.

“Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t?”

He sighed and looked down for a few moments, toying with the sleeves of his flannel shirt, something he’d always done when he was anxious. When he looked back up at you, a tear had fallen down his angular face. He closed his eyes and began to speak.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. And…honestly, I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way until almost the end of our relationship. I was too caught up in my own stuff. I wanted to make you proud, and I thought that doing more shows and bigger tours would accomplish that. And that was fucking stupid,” he said, shaking his head. He sighed and opened his green eyes, looking into yours. “Because after we broke up, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized that I didn’t need to perform in front of thousands of people to make you proud. You loved me before I had all this shit.”

“I did.”

“And I swore to myself that once the tour ended I would make it all up to you. That I would come home to you and I would spend time with you and just love you the way I used to...the way that you needed me to.”

“How was I supposed to know that though, Andrew?”

“I don’t know. I should’ve told you. I realize that now. I stopped opening up to you like I used to. Ehm... we stopped opening up to each other.”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. For the longest time, you’d wished he would admit his wrongdoings and take responsibility for everything. Now he was finally doing it and you didn’t know what to say. He seemed to close off a little in response to your hesitation. He cleared his throat and straightened up a little.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. I just knew that if I didn’t I’d regret it forever. And I don’t want to live with any more regrets when it comes to you.” He paused, and held your gaze for a moment, as if to ask for permission to say more. You nodded slightly, urging him to continue. “I didn’t think you’d come. I-I didn’t think you’d answer my text. I thought you hated me,” he said gently, looking down.

“Oh, Andy,” you put your hand on his bare wrist, which was exposed by his sleeve that had ridden up. He looked up when you said his nickname. “I could never hate you. Never. Even when we’d just broken up, I didn’t hate you. In fact, I still loved you so so much. I wanted to hate you sometimes. It would’ve made getting over you a whole lot easier. But you don’t stop loving someone just because they hurt you.” You paused for a little bit, unsure about whether or not you wanted to say what you were thinking. You decided you would, because you didn’t want to regret anything about this night either. “I still love you,” you said moving your hand down to his.

“I still love you too, baby. So much. So fucking much,” he confessed, wrapping his large, pale hands around yours.

Your heart fluttered when he said those words. You hadn’t heard them in almost three years. You weren’t sure you’d ever hear them from him again, but hearing them sparked something in you.

“You do? I thought you moved on.”

“I never stopped loving you though. Moving on from you didn’t mean that I stopped loving you. It just meant that I learned to live without you. I still think about you all the time. I always wonder how you’re doing...how life is treating you. I miss everything about you, y/n. The big things, like how you always supported me and stood by me; and the little things, like the smell of your hair when you’d put your head on my chest before bed or watching you play with Elwood. Or the way you’d make me porridge, and how you’d always insist on calling it oatmeal. I even miss you hogging the bathroom getting ready even though I always thought you looked beautiful no matter what.”

“Well you don’t have to miss me anymore, Andy,” you said earnestly.

“What do you mean? You wanna do this again?”

You nodded, your hands still intertwined.

His entire demeanor changed. His emerald green eyes went from looking anxious to hopeful. He licked his lips and started searching for his next words. “I ,ehm, I won’t be in town again for a little while because we still have about another month of touring. But once it’s over, maybe I can spend some time here and we can just, ehm, catch up-“

You cut him off. “No I mean, I want to try this again. Us.”

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

His silence instantly made you regret the risk you took with your words. “I mean, only if you want to. If you don’t want to, or if you’re already seeing someone, then you can just forget I said anythi-“

“Of course I do, y/n.”

“Okay, then...good,” you said with a grin. “But Andy,” you paused, gathering your thoughts. He looked at you intently, leaning in slightly. “Things have to be different this time around. I mean it. If you don’t treat me right, I’m out the door for good this time.”

He nodded his head, his wild, post-show hair moving with him. “I know, darling. I learned my lesson. Trust me. I don’t want to mess things up this time around. I feel really lucky to be able to do what I do, but I was even luckier to have you.”

“You’re such a fucking cornball,” you said, laughing loudly, but melting inside. You smoothed your hair and looked around, trying to hide the fact that you couldn’t stop smiling. That’s when you noticed that there was hardly anyone left in the bar. Andrew seemed to notice as well.

“Should we...?” you both asked at the same time with a chuckle.

“Yeah we should probably get going,” you answered your own question, getting off the barstool.

“Is it okay if I do something first?,” he asked softly, his tone cautious.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded, wondering what he had in mind. Your curiosity was satisfied a few seconds later when he tenderly pulled you closer with one hand on your waist on and the other on your face. He leaned down, his eyes closing. You stood up on your toes, grateful that you’d chosen to wear your heels that not only made your legs look long, but made his lips that much easier to reach without straining. Everything fell into place for the first time since that December night three years ago as he put his perfect pink lips on yours.

“I missed you too, you know,” you whispered before kissing him again.

-

This is my first time writing any kind of fanfic. Constructive, respectful criticism and feedback is welcome and appreciated!

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 139: Lars of the Stars

“Bingo Bongo.”

On Saturday, January 22, 2011, a character from the webcomic Homestuck was suddenly killed. On Sunday, the scene continued, and in a string of wordless panels, another beloved character prepared to take revenge for this murder. On Monday, this character was also killed, and the murderer escaped. (I didn’t remember those dates on the top of my head, Homestuck has a very well-maintained archive, but I do at least remember that it was my first weekend back at William and Mary after my junior year’s winter break.)

To this day, that one-two punch remains my go-to example of a nameless phenomenon in serialized storytelling that fascinates me to no end: when reading Homestuck in real time, these deaths are two discrete events that happened days apart, but when reading it literally any time the after full string of updates concluded, both deaths are one big event. The gap between published segments of a serial have a tremendous effect on how the audience takes in a story, but once the story is complete, that effect can’t be felt again by new audiences.

Lars of the Stars aired just over seven months after Lars’s Head, and as someone who watched Steven Universe live since the pilot first dropped, it felt like the momentous return of the Off Colors. An ultra-early preview of the episode piled on the hype for the fanbase (I personally avoided discussion of it, not wanting to spoil myself), and the Breakup Arc made the divide seem even greater. But if you’re watching all the episodes in a row, the gap between Lars’s last appearance and this one is just 66 minutes; for context, that’s shorter than the time between Spinel landing on Earth and leaving it with the Diamonds.

I see Lars of the Stars as a very different episode today than I did when it debuted, and that’s fully because of the release schedule. Because while it remains a fresh, fun new direction after dwelling on the Breakup Arc for a few months and waiting on Lars to come back for even longer, watching it without the hiatus makes it clear that this isn’t just the start of a new chapter. It’s also an epilogue.

The fourteen episodes between Doug Out and Kevin Party pile on so much tension that we need a follow-up that feels like a break, which Lars of the Stars is happy to provide. But that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate how far our characters have come during that chunk of episodes, and that’s exactly what happens here. Part 1 of the big stretch ends with Steven leaving everyone behind as he goes to space, and now we get an episode about him returning to space but including Connie in the way he should have from the start. Part 2 of the big stretch ends with the Off Colors trapped on Homeworld with little hope in sight, and now we get an episode about their freewheeling lives among the stars. And Part 3 of the big stretch ends with Steven and Connie establishing a new understanding of their relationship, and now we get an episode where they share what they’ve learned with the class.

In our last episode, Connie showed an ability to socialize without Steven. While this makes him worry that she might only be at Kevin’s titular party to have a good time rather than reconnect, the furthest he goes in terms of dark thoughts is that she doesn’t wanna hang out with him anymore. Meanwhile, Lars takes Sadie’s similar ability so socialize without him as a personal insult: his instinct is to assume she’s hanging out with the Cool Kids as an act of revenge, because it turns out people don’t just flip personalities after major life events, and despite some tremendous changes Lars still has work to do. (This is something that happens more and more as the show goes on, it’s almost as if the perpetual need to work on yourself is a major theme of the latter-day series or something.)

Stevonnie’s ability to help Lars out works in any episode, because Stevonnie embodies close relationships and Lars could use some tips on that front. But the fact that their defense of Sadie in this situation is what causes Steven and Connie to fuse in the first place gains new power when this it comes right after watching Kevin Party, because feeling uncertain about a friend/love interest’s new friends is something they just experienced both sides of. And as one last reflection of the kids as individuals, Steven reacts to Lars’s concerns with a thoughtful monologue about his feelings, but only after Connie chews him out for being such a dingus.

It’s lousy to be possessive and self-absorbed, but for all my criticism of Lars in the past, it’s not as if he’s the only teenager to be possessive or self-absorbed in the world (or space). That doesn’t make the behavior great, but it’s more a sign of adolescent insecurity than any deeper failing at this stage of his life; if he doesn’t grow out of it then that’s a whole other story, but his negative impulses are outweighed by his ability to take criticism of those impulses and reexamine his outlook. And as part of a show that teaches big lessons to kids, I love that his poor reaction to Sadie’s happiness is presented not as some angsty relationship hurdle, but as comically pathetic. Matthew Moy has a blast playing a version of the character who’s finally confident, but he hasn’t forgotten how to tap into Lars’s whiny grouch.

Thankfully that confidence defines the rest of the episode (which itself lends power to the stark return to his old personality). I don’t just say “thankfully” because I’m glad he’s got some self-esteem, but because like I just said, Matthew Moy has a blast. This is the goofiest episode we’ve had since The New Crystal Gems, and while I’m sure it’s even better for anime fans out there (Space Pirate Captain Harlock being the clearest influence) it still works for scrubs like me without that reference pool. Which is critical, as I doubt many members of the youth audience are all caught up on their late seventies anime.

Excellent pacing helps the fun hit for maximum impact, pivoting us from Kevin Party to space with a brisk opening scene and reintroducing characters not through exposition (which takes time) but on-screen text (which is faster and also magnificently cheesy; Lamar Abrams practiced this in Restaurant Wars). We use space jargon and references to old adventures to throw us in the middle of Lars’s journey in a quick and believable way, all the while building up the camaraderie between the Off Colors. His miniature breakdown would normally be a third act affair, allowing for its resolution to conclude the story, but instead it’s smack in the middle of the episode and we get a bunch more fun after it: it’s an important part of the story that informs Lars’s final gambit, but it’s not the main set piece.

(And, of course, the music remains as on point as ever: Aivi and Surasshu give the Sun Incinerator a punchy theme that complements those introductions perfectly, and revisit the motif heard in the Love Like You reprise, Holly Blue Agate’s scenes, and the drone attacks from Off Colors during this new foray into space. I don’t think it’s even possible for these two to disappoint.)

Confident Lars is marvel to behold, because it’s the real deal. His insecurities are still there, but rather than patching them up with a superiority complex (which so often is the case when insecure folks go too hard in building themselves up) he doesn’t feel the need to put on a front anymore. He’s cocky, but he loves his crew for who they are and is never as mean to them as he was to Steven, even as a joke. His exaggerated anime poses aren’t just dopey and delightful for the sake of being dopey and delightful, but show a newfound ability to have fun without being crippled by self-consciousness. And his zany schemes, shouted about by Emerald at first but then seen in action, actually work! He comes into his own as a space pirate, and as neat as it is to see him become a baker when he returns to Earth, Lars of the Stars makes a strong case for a life in space.

Speaking of Emerald, while I’m sure a lot of folks who hyped themselves up on Lars of the Stars were disappointed that this is all we see of her (especially because emeralds are big-name gemstones in the real world), I think her single appearance makes the episode even more of a hoot. This is not Steven’s story, so we get very little frame of reference for what the Off Colors have been up to: it feels like a crossover episode with a nonexistent spinoff. Having a small glimpse into the greater journey was a great call, because this is just one of many tales from the Sun Incinerator’s sterling crew, and it keeps up the thread of Steven being out of the loop on Lars and Sadie’s lives.

It also lets Jinkx Monsoon ham it up even harder than Moy without getting bogged down by character complexity. This is a ridiculous space adventure, and that tone is heightened by a baddie who doesn’t chew so much as gorge herself on the scenery. I mean, this is still Steven Universe, so even someone as over the top as Emerald gets a tiny arc: Lars seems to be the instigator of their rivalry, and while we side with the Off Colors because they’re the underdogs escaping persecution, Emerald has legitimate reasons to see herself as the wronged party. And Lars’s realization that she would never fire on her own ship doesn’t just work as a conclusion to his story, showing that he learned a lesson from his bitterness towards Sadie, but for Emerald’s, showing that while she wants her revenge she more just wants her stuff back. But this is still an opponent who we only see screaming from a screen, and that’s exactly what this episode needs.

The Off Color Gems stick to the characterization that defined them in their debut, but they’ve all let their guard down in a way that suggests both familiarity with Lars and relief from the unending pressure of a lifetime of hiding on Homeworld. We get a few good jokes from their roles on the ship, but their competence is never undermined. It’s funny that Padparadscha is a technical advisor, considering she only offers insight on events that already happened, but she ends up being able to foresee Emerald’s intent as well, which certainly has its uses. It’s funny that Fluorite is the chief engineer, considering her meandering nature doesn’t mesh with the tight time windows of keeping a speedy starship afloat, but despite her slowness she manages to keep pace. It’s funny that Rhodonite is head of strategic operations, considering her usual strategy is to panic at the most minor setback, but her constant worry about what could go wrong helps balance out Lars’s recklessness. While while the Rutile Twins’ natures aren’t at odds with their role as pilot, they’ve grown out of their quirk more than anyone else on the team: the sisters have branched out from their repetitive dialogue, with each head now expressing separate thoughts on a regular basis. They don’t just summarize each other anymore. They aren’t redundant anymore either.

Steven and Connie are largely around to observe and comment, even after fusing into Stevonnie, until they take over for the final action sequence. And that’s just fine, because it turns out AJ Michalka nails supporting role as well as nails lead: Stevonnie’s blithe “Whuzzat” is the perfect punchline to the Off Colors’ fear of the melodramatic "that,” but nothing tops the sincere adulation of “Wow Lars I missed you.” And because they don’t steal Lars’s spotlight in his big moment, it’s that much more exciting when they take the Star Skipper out for a drive, ending the episode with a brilliant action scene and a cliffhanger that promises further adventure, like any good space serial should. Steven Universe has the occasional incomplete first half of a two-parter, one that works fine in context but not as well on its own. Lars of the Stars does not have this problem, working so well as a genre piece that the lack of a conclusion is the only viable conclusion.

Finally, Lars of the Stars doesn’t just celebrate the end of Act III’s fourteen-episode sweep: this is the last episode from Jesse Zuke, who came out swinging with Chille Tid and maintained an unbelievable batting average over the course of their twenty episodes. There’s only one episode Zuke had a hand in that I’m not huge on, Know Your Fusion, and even that is funny as hell if you’re into that style of meta humor. Alongside Hilary Florido, Zuke gave us two of the show’s greatest instances of characters just hanging out in Beta and Last Stop Out of Beach CIty, and the pair laid and reinforced the foundation for Peridot’s post-villain characterization in Catch and Release, Too Far, Log Date 7 15 2, Barn Mates, Too Short to Ride,  the aforementioned Beta, Gem Harvest, and Room for Ruby. But on top of being a master of comedy, Zuke could also do horror (Chille Tid and Are You My Dad) and drama (Beach City Drift, Steven vs. Amethyst, Gemcation), and had a good enough understanding of Steven and Lars to earn solo boarding credit on Stuck Together. I would’ve loved to see what else Zuke might’ve brought to Steven Universe, but that makes their unbelievable consistency that much more of a gift while it lasted. Bingo Bongo, Jesse.

Future Vision!

This is the first time we hear Sadie Killer and the Suspects by name, and it thankfully won’t be the last.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It speaks to the range of Steven Universe that teen drama Kevin Party can stand alongside Lars of the Stars in my list of favorites. Granted, my top five also speaks to this range, but it’s nuts that the last two episodes are back-to-back and it not only works but benefits from this viewing order despite their wildly different tones.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Lars of the Stars

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Lars’s Head

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Trying to deconstruct QuackerJack's vocabulary to a more easy to replicate format so I can understand the proper pool of words and phrases to pull from that fit his mannerisms, and it's just

"Rat Fink" (spoken in "Quack of Ages", after being outted for his deceit) seems to originate in 1964, which is great because that falls in line with my headcanon/assumption that QuackerJack was likely born in the 1950s, so 1964 would be in his early teen years, and that phrase is basically like calling someone out as a snitch or tattler, so it fits his general vocab as well as shows that his being emotionally stuck in the prime of his days is pretty well rooted.

Then we get words like "Fop" (spoken in "Whiffle While You Work", in which he hypocritically calls Darkwing as such, when he himself is far more fitting of the description).

How old is "Fop"?

... Of course. In fact, I do recall that the time travel portion of "Quack of Ages" takes place in 1592, so it's rather amusing that QuackerJack is 100% committed to this jester persona down to the word pool. Impressive, really.

Almost as if he may have use the Time Top more times than we've actually seen, in order to really get in the role, because why go to the Renaissance Faire when you can just get the real deal experience a la Bill and Ted style absurdity? I mean, he has to have at least tested it a few times before he knew that it most certainly would have worked as he expected in "Quack of Ages".

So now we have a wide pool of words already. QuackerJack can (and will most likely) speak like a court jester. He also will likely use slang that was popular in his youth, so you can also pull from 1950s-1980s, since he doesn't seem to really use too much 1990s terminology as well.

Why might I specifically say 1980s? Well, the cartoon takes place in 1991-1992, and 1980s wasn't too far behind it, and also

"Code Monkeys"

It's hard to pin down the origin years of the term, but it's seems to have made itself prevalent in the 1980s, and as it's a bit of a rude term meant to insult computer programmers by implying thier job could be easily done by a monkey smacking away at a keyboard for similar results (and gosh golly gee, ain't that the sort of phrase QuackerJack would have absolutely absorbed into his vocabulary, like the total luddite that he is)

So it seems that you can draw from quite a bit to pull some in-character idioms and age appropriate and themed phases.

Then I realized that it would make sense that the lexicon of all variations of the talking Mr. Banana Brains would have to be something of an extension of QuackerJack's preexisting vocabulary, as Mr. Banana Brain is merely an extension of QuackerJack.

Simply put: Mr. Banana Brain realistically cannot know phrases and terminology that QuackerJack is unaware of. QuackerJack subconsciously brings the voice to Mr. Banana Brain, therefore Mr. Banana Brain's vocabulary pool is QuackerJack's as well, and Mr. Banana Brain cannot know something that QuackerJack does not.

At least, logically so.

Granted, the series has never been 100% rigid with thier rules of physics and world building, as Mr. Banana Brain himself is such an oddity that may or may not be sentient himself, if only for the sake of plot convience or "rule of funny".

That brings me to this interesting bit from "The New and Improved Mr. Banana Brain" from the "Toy With Me" story

On the left is the original retail bit, and on the right is the Definitively Dangerous Edition change.

Bare in mind, this is under my assumption that the Mr. Banana Brains' vocabulary pool is identical to QuackerJack's to the T, no margin for variables.

Now, "new blood" is a relatively old phrase

Ah, the 1800s. Fits well between "Fop" and "Rat Fink"

Very plausible as a statement QuackerJack could use in terms of running a business, or might I say a Toy Empire?

But this change they made in the Definitively Dangerous Edition... is interesting.

"Old and busted" and "New hotness".

It's a very, very familiar pair of terms to me, and really stands out for a choice of speech here, and it's bizzare to think it's in QuackerJack's vocabulary, because, let me break it down for you

Where have we likely heard the combination of "Old and busted" and "New hotness" before?

"Men in Black II"

Which was released in 2002.

And the original film was released in 1997.

The original Darkwing Duck took place in 1991-1992, and while the comic continuation was released in 2011 (and shows modern technology and Disney cameos that existed after 1992)... The comics pretty much state that it takes place more or less a year or so after the cartoon, placing it in some futuristic aesthetic 1993-ish, maybe 1994.

Actually, I really want to say like 1995 or 1996, that's a good number stretches out QuackerJack spiraling bad luck into a less crunched timeline and gives him more time with Claire, but I digress

Anyway, I haven't actually heard the combination of "Old and busted" and "New hotness" used in anything OTHER than MIB2 and people who are referring to this scene.

Therefore, given that it's oddly out of place, I have to conclude that QuackerJack has done more unauthorized Time Crimes than we initially thought, and he most certainly popped over to 2002 to watch "Men in Black II" in theaters because why the heck not, who's going to stop him, amirite??

Or maybe the comic timeline exists parallel to ours in some wacky time passage ratio, and the Men in Black franchise in the Duck-verse happened sooner than it's dates here by years ahead.

So, in conclusion:

QuackerJack has seen "Men in Black II" and apparently got enough amusement out of the "Old busted hotness" scene that he subconsciously thinks about that periodically, and it finally surfaced via a renegade figment of his own creation gone off the rails

Also:

I'm like 100% sure QuackerJack would have been wheezing at that "WHAT IS A GAMEBOY??" bit.

... This started as a serious post about breaking down QuackerJack's vocabulary and now it's devolved into speculation that QuackerJack likes scifi action movies.

... Word.

[moscowjackboot]

We’ve Got Tonight

Previously titled “Someone Old”

Plot: Y/n sees her ex-boyfriend, Andrew Hozier-Byrne almost 3 years after their breakup. Y/N and Andrew started dating around the Fall of 2011 and broke up in December of 2016 because Andrew couldn’t balance his career/touring and their relationship. Y/N initiated the breakup due to Andrew’s neglect. They are seeing each other for the first time since their breakup in this story, which is set around October of 2019. I plan on doing some more writing with this storyline, some of it before the breakup and some it of afterwards.

Word Count: ~2.3k

“Do your friends know you’re here?” Andrew asked you timidly.

You smiled. He knew your friends weren’t fond of him after the breakup. “No. I didn’t want to give them a chance to talk me out of it.”

He nodded and finished his whiskey, motioning to the bartender for another.

“What about yours?” You asked hesitantly, wanting you to fill the silence.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it.”

Ouch.

He noticed the pained look on your face caused by his words and tried to fix it. “Not because I didn’t want to see you. I really wanted to see you tonight. Maybe too much. I just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to disrupt your life like this.”

“You’re not disrupting my life at all, Andrew,” you reassured him. You never imagined that you’d be spending a Monday night after work seeing your ex-boyfriend perform at a theater half an hour from your apartment, and then going out for drinks afterward. When Andrew texted you asking if you wanted to see him when he was in town for a show later that month, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You considered pretending to be sick when you woke up this morning. You were too nervous about seeing him again after almost three years of no contact between you two.

“I didn’t think it would be so slow here tonight,” you commented.

“Well, it is Monday,” he said with a shy smile. You noticed that not only had his face thinned out a little since 2016, but apparently, he’d done something to his teeth. They were perfectly straight now. How could you miss something so big?

“So why did you reach out to me? I mean, I’m glad you did, but what made you decide to call me after almost three years without talking?” you asked, shifting your body towards him.

“I couldn’t handle being in your city on another tour and not even trying to see you again. It would drive me fucking crazy.”  

You knitted your eyebrows a little, pleasantly surprised by how candid his answer was.

“Did you want to talk about…?,” you trailed off, not wanting to say the words “the breakup.”

“Uh, yeah. There’s some stuff I never got to say. Is it… is it okay if I say it now?,” he asked you gently, not wanting to upset you.

“Better late than never,” you responded with a chuckle, which you were sure looked more like a grimace. He licked his lips and started talking.

“I ehm, I never wanted to hurt you. That…that truly wasn’t my intention. And I know that that sounds fucking ridiculous now, since how else could my behavior have affected you, you know? Ehm, of course, I hurt you. We were together for so many years, and we were so… intimate with each other.” He looked to you, cautious of his words. “And I don’t just mean sexually. You knew me inside and out. And I don’t think anyone can ever figure you out, but I think I was pretty close.” He smiled at you sheepishly. You chuckled and looked down shyly, your body filling up with the same feeling of warmth you’d felt the very first time you’d met Andrew all those years ago in university. You looked back up when you heard him speak again.

“I remember when we broke up, you asked me how I could throw you away after we’d shared so much of ourselves with each other….after we’d experienced so much life and-and… love together. And I just didn’t have an answer for you. And I hated that. I hated that so much. I hated that for you and I hated that for us. Because there’s never a good reason to not put somebody first when they’ve always been good to you. And you’re the one who got hurt because I was so focused on my career that I always let you —us— become my second priority. And losing you hurt for me too, but I earned that, you know?” The words rushed out of his mouth as if he’d been dying to say them for a long time.

You nodded, your eyes wide open, still absorbing every detail of his appearance after three years.

He continued. “Those were the consequences of my own actions. I always hated seeing you sad, or frustrated, or angry. And you felt all those things those last few months that we were together, and probably for months after. And I couldn’t fix it because I was the one who was making you feel that way.” He pursed his lips in thought.

“You never called.”

“Hm?,” He asked, raising his thick eyebrows. His green eyes looked so sweet and earnest. You’d always loved his eyes. They were the first eyes that made you understand the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.”

“After we broke up. You just let me go. At first, I just thought you were giving me time to cool off, but then you didn’t try anymore. You never tried to get me back. You just let me walk out of your life and that really fucking hurt.”

“I didn’t think you’d take me back. And even if you did, I knew I didn’t deserve you again. You’re the most amazing person I have ever met and I absolutely destroyed everything we ever had. You deserved — deserve — someone who loves you too much to do what I did to you. And after all the shit I put you through, I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew I couldn’t do that for you anymore. I changed too much. I’d already been selfish and it tore us apart. I wasn’t going to be selfish again by asking to be in your life again when I didn’t have a place there.”

“That’s such a fucking cop-out. You could have made me happy if you just cared enough to try!,” you exclaimed, tears welling up. “Andrew, you said it yourself. We broke up because you stopped fucking caring. You stopped making me a priority. You treated me like shit. You would go on the road and you promised to call me every night and instead you left me by the phone crying myself to sleep wishing you would keep your promises. You would cancel trips to see me for gig offers or to record. The last year we were together, you forgot my birthday and our anniversary. You stopped caring, Andrew.” You waited a beat to verbalize how he’d made you feel all that time ago, amazed that you were able to keep yourself from raising your voice even if you were getting emotional. “I wasn’t important to you anymore.”

“Sweetheart, you were always important to me. I know I was kind of a shit boyfriend at the end, but you still meant the world to me.” Andrew said. You could see the heartache in his eyes. They were filled with tears too.

“Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t?”

He sighed and looked down for a few moments, toying with the sleeves of his flannel shirt, something he’d always done when he was anxious. When he looked back up at you, a tear had fallen down his angular face. He closed his eyes and began to speak.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. And…honestly, I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way until almost the end of our relationship. I was too caught up in my own stuff. I wanted to make you proud, and I thought that doing more shows and bigger tours would accomplish that. And that was fucking stupid,” he said, shaking his head. He sighed and opened his green eyes, looking into yours. “Because after we broke up, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized that I didn’t need to perform in front of thousands of people to make you proud. You loved me before I had all this shit.”

“I did.”

“And I swore to myself that once the tour ended I would make it all up to you. That I would come home to you and I would spend time with you and just love you the way I used to…the way that you needed me to.”

“How was I supposed to know that though, Andrew?”

“I don’t know. I should’ve told you. I realize that now. I stopped opening up to you like I used to. Ehm… we stopped opening up to each other.”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. For the longest time, you’d wished he would admit his wrongdoings and take responsibility for everything. Now he was finally doing it and you didn’t know what to say. He seemed to close off a little in response to your hesitation. He cleared his throat and straightened up a little.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. I just knew that if I didn’t I’d regret it forever. And I don’t want to live with any more regrets when it comes to you.” He paused, and held your gaze for a moment, as if to ask for permission to say more. You nodded slightly, urging him to continue. “I didn’t think you’d come. I-I didn’t think you’d answer my text. I thought you hated me,” he said gently, looking down.

“Oh, Andy,” you put your hand on his bare wrist, which was exposed by his sleeve that had ridden up. He looked up when you said his nickname. “I could never hate you. Never. Even when we’d just broken up, I didn’t hate you. In fact, I still loved you so so much. I wanted to hate you sometimes. It would’ve made getting over you a whole lot easier. But you don’t stop loving someone just because they hurt you.” You paused for a little bit, unsure about whether or not you wanted to say what you were thinking. You decided you would, because you didn’t want to regret anything about this night either. “I still love you,” you said moving your hand down to his.

“I still love you too, baby. So much. So fucking much,” he confessed, wrapping his large, pale hands around yours.

Your heart fluttered when he said those words. You hadn’t heard them in almost three years. You weren’t sure you’d ever hear them from him again, but hearing them sparked something in you.

“You do? I thought you moved on.”

“I never stopped loving you though. Moving on from you didn’t mean that I stopped loving you. It just meant that I learned to live without you. I still think about you all the time. I always wonder how you’re doing…how life is treating you. I miss everything about you, y/n. The big things, like how you always supported me and stood by me; and the little things, like the smell of your hair when you’d put your head on my chest before bed or watching you play with Elwood. Or the way you’d make me porridge, and how you’d always insist on calling it oatmeal. I even miss you hogging the bathroom getting ready even though I always thought you looked beautiful no matter what.”

“Well you don’t have to miss me anymore, Andy,” you said earnestly.

“What do you mean? You wanna do this again?”

You nodded, your hands still intertwined.

His entire demeanor changed. His emerald green eyes went from looking anxious to hopeful. He licked his lips and started searching for his next words. “I ,ehm, I won’t be in town again for a little while because we still have about another month of touring. But once it’s over, maybe I can spend some time here and we can just, ehm, catch up-“

You cut him off. “No I mean, I want to try this again. Us.”

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

His silence instantly made you regret the risk you took with your words. “I mean, only if you want to. If you don’t want to, or if you’re already seeing someone, then you can just forget I said anythi-“

“Of course I do, y/n.”

“Okay, then…good,” you said with a grin. “But Andy,” you paused, gathering your thoughts. He looked at you intently, leaning in slightly. “Things have to be different this time around. I mean it. If you don’t treat me right, I’m out the door for good this time.”

He nodded his head, his wild, post-show hair moving with him. “I know, darling. I learned my lesson. Trust me. I don’t want to mess things up this time around. I feel really lucky to be able to do what I do, but I was even luckier to have you.”

“You’re such a fucking cornball,” you said, laughing loudly, but melting inside. You smoothed your hair and looked around, trying to hide the fact that you couldn’t stop smiling. That’s when you noticed that there was hardly anyone left in the bar. Andrew seemed to notice as well.

“Should we…?” you both asked at the same time with a chuckle.

“Yeah we should probably get going,” you answered your own question, getting off the barstool.

“Is it okay if I do something first?,” he asked softly, his tone cautious.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded, wondering what he had in mind. Your curiosity was satisfied a few seconds later when he tenderly pulled you closer with one hand on your waist on and the other on your face. He leaned down, his eyes closing. You stood up on your toes, grateful that you’d chosen to wear your heels that not only made your legs look long, but made his lips that much easier to reach without straining. Everything fell into place for the first time since that December night three years ago as he put his perfect pink lips on yours.

“I missed you too, you know,” you whispered before kissing him again.

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Three Lobed Recordings

For 20 years, Three Lobed Recordings has explored the outer reaches of psychedelic music, presenting Bardo Pond’s heaviest, most improvisatory albums, documenting the American primitive revival via recordings of Jack Rose and Daniel Bachman, listening to emanations from space-age folk troubadours like Wooden Wand, Sunburned Hand of the Man and Matt Valentine and generally pursuing the beauty of experiment, wherever it occurs. To celebrate these past two fruitful decades, label founder Cory Rayborn lists ten of the albums that define Three Lobed (and, necessarily, leaves out others equally valid and interesting). We look forward to lots more in the decades to come.

Personal Choice Cuts from the TLR Catalog (in no particular order, 9 of which might be different if you were to ask me tomorrow).

Gunn-Truscinski Duo — Ocean Parkway (2012)

Ocean Parkway by Gunn-Truscinski Duo

Every time I listen to this album, especially the title track, I feel transported. Long ago my college roommate Jon Nall articulated a test for transcendent songs, for the ones that impact you no matter how many times you hear them. He summed those all-time tracks up as the ones where the hairs on your arms uncontrollably stand up every time you hear them. While every track on this album does it for me every time, throwing me into a sort of uncontrollable head nod and body sway, I am always fully taken away by the entirety of the title track and Steve's swirling guitar build over the entire eighth minute punctuated by the ecstatic tones he hits at 9:06. Yow. The feeling I get from this album is why the label exists.

Various Artists — Eight Trails, One Path (2012)

Eight Trails, One Path by Various Artists

Record Store Day is tough. I love the attention and cash it puts into the hands of independent retailers but hate how commodified it has become over time by the powers that be / majors who see it as an excuse to pump out a bunch of junk that will end up being shelf warmers and ankle weights on those same retailers they claims to be supporting. The first few years when most of the titles were truly from and by indies it was a lot of fun. That was the feeling that led to wanting to put out an RSD title in mid-2011 (an illness I’ve since overcome). Originally conceived as a joined pair of split 7"s, it morphed into a triple 7" and then to a full length album. I wanted to showcase different approaches to solo guitar work and set out to ask a lot of my favorites. I also wanted to put together a special package which was fleshed out with help by Casey Burns on graphics, Grayson Haver Currin on words and Jeff Mueller on printing. I’m still amazed at the interlocked nature of all of the contributions to this one, from Six Organs’ spiritual sibling to “Ascent” in the form of “Stranded on Io” (a track that is a wordless tale all within itself) to the circular beauty of David Daniell’s “Housewarming” and everything else on here. I really love this record.

Tom Carter — Long Time Underground (2015)

Long Time Underground by Tom Carter

Late in 2013 I was chatting with Tom about what shape a record should take. He wanted to go to Black Dirt and get a good, clean capture of what he had been working on with Jason Meagher. TLR is always onboard with a Black Dirt election. Fast forward several months and family TLR was visiting some friends in Vermont around the same time Tom was in the area. We met up and he handed off the masters for a double LP. While we knew that the mix of Tom’s playing, Tom’s writing and Jason’s engineering was going to be magical but we had no idea of the exact form or how insanely potent the album was going to be. Damn. Seriously, just listen to this stuff and absorb that these are all single takes, no overdubs. Haunting and celebratory all at once.

Daniel Bachman — The Morning Star (2018)

The Morning Star by Daniel Bachman

It is pretty fun to watch the arc and path that Daniel’s writing, recording and performing have taken over the last 15 years. From powerhouse steamroller to the intersection of musique concrète and acoustic drone, his current location could maybe have been seen in his early recordings but you likely would have lost most of those dice rolls. The Morning Star speaks to me in so many ways but the stunning bookends of “Invocation” and “New Moon” always hit like a ton of bricks. What is amazing is how Daniel can turn these album cuts into live performances. I saw “New Moon” several times while Daniel was in the process of touring this 2016 self-titled album, always transfixed by it live — the album version loses none of that potency. On the other hand, Daniel re-created “Invocation” at the 2018 Three Lobed / WXDU Annual Ritual of Summoning to stunning effect.

The Michael Flower Band — self-titled (2008)

The Michael Flower Band by The Michael Flower Band

An audio / aural bomb blast, a kosmik rearrangement of the space/time directly around the listener. This take no prisoners statement from Mick Flower (guitar) and John Moloney (drums) is a deep slice for catalog enthusiasts. Just tune into “Balinese Falsehood” and try to not get fully lost. Years ago I described this as “biker psych for the third eye rider” and I’ll stand by that statement fully today.

Wooden Wand and the World War IV — self-titled (2013)

Wooden Wand & the World War IV by Wooden Wand & the World War IV

Picking between Wooden Wand titles is hard for this particular enthusiast but if forced I think I have to push the needle towards the intense Crazy Horse vibes of this studio corker. Surrounded by the “Briarwood” band, perhaps the most telepathic folks with whom Toth has ever played, the results are electric and transfixing. Will I kick myself tomorrow for not picking Clipper Ship? TBD...

Meg Baird & Mary Lattimore — Ghost Forests (2018)

Ghost Forests by Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore

I don’t remember when it came to me, the fact that there wasn’t a deliberately ground-up collaboration between Meg and Mary in existence. I had to ask them if that was purposeful or a gap that was truly something that we should remedy, a question where I had my fingers crossed the entire time. They were both really into the concept, it just took the triangulation of busy satellites to make all of our desires into reality. The results are as sturdy, sheltering and invisible at the edges as the album's title, facts that we are all the better for each time we wrap ourselves in this particular fabric. An all-timer.

Jack Rose — The Black Dirt Sessions (2009)

The Black Dirt Sessions by Jack Rose

I had the good luck and fortune to get to know Jack back in the Pelt days and watch his transition from that ensemble into the singular player and performer that he was for the last eight years of his too short life. Watching a Jack set was always a tiny miracle. I remember him calling me one day, telling me that he had gone to record with Jason Meagher and he had a record that he would really love for me to put out if I was interested. Not only was I most most certainly interested, but I was amazingly humbled and flattered that this friend who I also considered a modern master had recorded something specifically for me without even discussing it with me first. That level of trust was the gift and magic of Jack. If he believed in you that belief gave you all of the power you needed to make anything reality, you were suddenly bulletproof. Every track here is a stunner but “Cross the North Fork” always pulls me in, dares me to turn my attention anywhere else. Rest in power, friend.

Chuck Johnson — Crows In The Basilica (2013)

Crows In The Basilica by Chuck Johnson

Every track on this perfectly constructed and sequenced album is flawlessly beautiful but “On A Slow Passing In Ghost Town” is one of the top 10 tracks in the entire TLR catalog in my estimation. Exactingly and properly composed, performed and recorded.

Bardo Pond — Peri (2009)

Peri by Bardo Pond

The love of Bardo Pond was the seed that initially drove me to create a record label. Their single-minded determination to seek audio truth was apparent to me ages ago and so very inspirational. I ate up everything — the releases, the live shows, the live recording — and I hung on every note. The band had a lot of really, really great tunes that they had been working on between 2001 and 2003, the period between their departing Matador for ATP Records. I could never shake the power of several of the tracks from this era that sort of got abandoned to the shifts of time. After several conversations with Michael Gibbons two albums were born from that period and from some other exceptionally potent tracks. Batholith was the first of these two albums and Peri, the second. Both are so very special to me, the fruit of knowing folks needed to hear these compositions. When writing here I have to pick Peri today as it closes with “Silver Pavilion,” an all-time Bardo Pond thesis statement of sorts.

[beautystroke]

Top 22 Best Sunscreens for Tanning Reviews & Buying Guide 2020

In this article, let’s take a look at the best sunscreens for tanning and some more amazing facts about sunscreen and safe tanning. Now, to save your time, here we will talk about the sunscreen. The first fact is that you should know how much sunscreen you are going through. Let’s go over some quick tips on how to remove tanning. The first thing is that to remember you see the effects of ultraviolet rays until much later. If you do not believe us, speak to a dermatologist. You only need a teaspoon of sunscreen on your face. If you are not going outdoor too. SPF15 or 20 is probably enough to last you all day. Many facial moisturizers and foundations offer at least this much broad-spectrum protection and you would not need to apply as much. But at any rate. Be sure to put on sunblock at least 15 minutes before you go outside. Rays that make it through to your skin.

Sunscreen works as a chemical and mineral sunscreen by filtering the sun’s rays, whereas, sunblock works as a physical sunscreen, reflecting the sun’s rays. Though sunblocks may be undesirable cosmetically as most of these are opaque. Sunscreen for tanning will help you based on the sun now that you have a brief overview let’s get started with the reviews so you can find what you need. Tanning has been a favored pastime of women everywhere since at least the 1950s.but with so many opinions and ideas out there – it’s not the 50s anymore and we know that tanning can be dangerous if no precautions are taken. So we have done our homework and we are dispelling the top sunscreen tanning.so can make the most out of your time in the sun.

You had been surprised what a fantastic tan you can achieve by preparing your skin with a tan accelerator, then layering on an SPF before heading out. It’s why we created our new mineral sunscreen tan smart, the first sunscreen of its kind to include s tan accelerator which we call our tan boost technology, to make the most of the select protection factors, which is the indication of the efficiency of a given sunscreen. Its blocks he sun rays send will possibilities you to stay longer and more safely under the sun. When sun rays are the strongest. Pull put these sunglasses and wear them, too. That’s because ultraviolet rays can still damage your eyes. Just ask anyone who’s had cataract surgery.

Why sunscreen is important:

Sunscreen will be your best friend on protecting your skin from ultraviolet rays. They are the UV and UVB rays, and as, we discussed before, the UVB radiation will tan and possibly burn your skin on the outer layers and shades. Uvb will penetrate your skin and dermis your skin. Which can cause premature aging? The uva rays can penetrate specifies of the sun. It can pass through glasses and the shades that mean that even when you are not directly exposed to the sun. you still need sunscreen protection, preferable UVB while you may think that’s blocking 93% So, while you may think that blocking 93% of the suns ray is completely blocking your chance at a tan-don’t forget that your sunscreen is being constantly worn down by sweat by sweat and clothing-some rays are absolutely still getting through. You had been surprised what a fantastic tan you can achieve by preparing your skin with a tan accelerator, then layering on an SPF before heading out. It’s why we created our new mineral sunscreen tan smart, the first sunscreen of its kind to include s tan accelerator which we call our tan boost technology, to make the most of the select protection factors, which is the indication of the efficiency of a given sunscreen. Its blocks he sun rays send will possibilities you to stay longer and more safely under the sun. When sun rays are the strongest. Pull put these sunglasses and wear them, too. That’s because ultraviolet rays can still damage your eyes. Just ask anyone who’s had cataract surgery. This is one of the reasons that you should invest in sunscreen that has both uva and UVB protection. In addition, sunscreen can help sensitive skin to stay well, protect against sunburn and sun-damaged dark spots, and wrinkles.

How to Use a Sunscreen for Tanning:

In order to tan without burning, you need to apply enough sunscreen daily.

Imagine the typical eight-ounce bottle of suntan lotion. It will remove your tanning better.

That’s why purchasing more than one bottle at a time is smart.

Put about a teaspoon on each arm and leg, at least two on your torso (front and back), and one on your face and neck will pack your tanning.

Next, remember to reapply every two hours, or when you get out of the water and towel off will dry and rinse your skin. This is where you need to experiment.

Do you know how long it takes you to burn?

For example, light-skinned people might develop sunburn within fifteen to thirty minutes in the sun it is the main reason for tanning.

If you put on a tanning oil with spf4, you will have four times that long to enjoy the sunshine before burning.

A small number of rays will still penetrate your skin to cause melanin production and give you a tan.

This is more likely if it’s not a broad-spectrum sunscreen that only blocks UVB, not UVA.

Keep in mind, that sunscreen doesn’t block a hundred percent of the ultraviolet radiation.

That’s why tanning with sunscreen works a lot.

Therefore, put on the sunscreen and layout for fifteen minutes if you have fair-skinned.

Flip over and wait for another fifteen. Then go inside and check your skin and analyses the difference.

Even with a sunscreen, don’t stay out longer than an hour total that very first time.

You might not notice any redness or difference until the evening suits you.

Which SPF Is Best for Tanning?

I also mentioned a moment ago that sunscreen without uva and UVB protection are more likely to help you tan. UVB radiations are what causes burns and skin cancer. Meanwhile, uva leads to more pigment productions but is linked to age-related skin damaged like wrinkles. Basically, for tanning purpose, use the lowest SPF you can, but limits your time outdoors accordingly. If you are concerned about the unpredictable results of tanning outside, build up a base tan by tanning indoors. Get one the best tanning lotions for fair skin to help you begin? Don’t forget your scalp can get burn. Wear a hat, or spend some time in the shade. There are easier ways to get highlights in your hairs. If you are pale, to begin with, don’t try tanning with spf4. Once, you have got a little color, you can drop the sun protection factors to a lower number. If you go on vacation o someplace closer to the equator then where you live. Choose a strong sunscreen. What kept you from burning in the high latitude might be enough where the sun us the more intense. The same is true if you go up into the mountain. Even, skiers wear sunscreen because snow a swatter reflects rays. Simply put, the best sunscreen is the one you and your kids will actually use! We recommend finding one you love and sticking with it. Aside from the brands or SPF level, there are two types of sunscreens. One with chemical and other is minerals active ingredients.

Chemical Sunscreen:

Chemical sunscreen is also like a type of you are familiar with already. They absorb the harmful ultraviolet rays before they reach your skin. While these lotions and sprays are easier to apply with into the white residue, you will need a reapply more often than you would with a physical option.

Mineral Sunscreen:

Is also called the chemical formulas. Leave with a white cast, but usually last longer than Mineral sunscreen chemical formulas. Is also called the physical sunscreen. Form a barrier on your skin that reflects or filters ultraviolet rays. He dispersed zinc oxide and titanium dioxide formulas can be more difficult to spread on your skin.

Must Read:  Top 24 Best Salicylic Acid Face Washes & Gentle Cleansers 2020

Must Read: Top 22 Best BB Cream For Oily Skin In 2020

Use sunscreen with an  SPF of 30:

Always wear a sunscreen with broad-spectrum UV protection of at least 30 SPF. Never use a tanning oil that does not contain sun protection. Be sure to apply sunscreen within 20 minutes of being outside. An SPF 30 is enough to block uva and UVB rays, but not so strong that you won’t get tan. Cover your body in at least a full ounce of sunscreen. Change the position of frequently. This will help you avoid the burning part of your body. Eat foods that contain beta carotene. Foods like’s carrots, sweet, potatoes, and take can help you tan without burning. More research is needed. But, some studies show that beta carotene can help reduce sun sensitivity in people with photosensitive diseases. Don’t stay outside for longer than your skin can create melanin. Melanin is the pigment responsible for tanning. Everyone has melanin cut-off points, which is usually 2 to 3hours. After this amount of time, your skin will not get darker on a certain day. If you tan past that point, you will be putting your skin in harm’s way. Eat lycopene-rich food, examples include tomatoes, guava, and watermelon. A small 2011 study trusted source found that lycopene helps protects the skin naturally against UV rays. Choose you’re tanning time wisely. If your goal is to tan quickly, the sun is the typically strongest between noon and 3 pm. keep in mind, however, that while the sun is at its strongest during this time, it will do the most damage due to this exposure. If you have extremely fair skin, its best to tan in the morning after 3 pm to avoid the burning. Is likely to increase the risk of skin cancer due to this expose. If you have extremely fair skin colors. Consider wearing a strapless top. Seek shades: Taking breaks will make it less likely for you to burn, and it will give your skin break from the intense heat. Prep, before you tan preparing your skin before heading outdoors, can help your tan last longer. Try exfoliating your skin before tanning. Skin that has not been exfoliating is more likely to flake off. Using an aloe Vera after tanning may also help your tan last longer.

Risk of tanning:

Tanning and scrub thing may feel good, and even boost mood trusted source because of the exposure to vitamin D. However, tanning still has risk, especially if you forgot sunscreen risk associated with tanning includes:

Melanoma and other skin cancers

Dehydration

Sunburn

Heat rash

Premature skin aging

Eye damage

Immune system suppression

Tanning precautions:

Tanning can be made slightly safer if you do it a very short period of time, drink water, wear sunscreen, with an SPF of a least 30 on your skin and lips, and protect your eyes and avoid the sun.

Falling asleep in the sun

Wearing an SPF of less than 30

Drinking alcohol, which can be dehydrating

Don’t forget to:

Apply SPF to your scalp, the top of your feet, ears, and other places you can easily miss. Roll over the frequently so you tan evenly without burning. Drink the plenty, water, wear a hat, and protect your eyes by wearing sunglasses.

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #6: Kyōko, Katsuki, Natsuki and the Lucky Stars

At the time of writing this, it has been one year since the Kyoto Animation Studio 1 fire. This instalment, together with the last one, can form part of my tribute.

Lucky Star was the first anime I took significant interest in after seeing episodes of the Cantonese dub on YouTube a decade ago. The characters became part of my Dynasty Warriors parodies and general delusions, but when I started writing them into the Doctor Who portion of my personal project, some retconning was likely involved due to complicated timeline stuff.

Unbelievably, I made three Lucky Star OCs for the project. I’ll get to them later because there’s some background stuff I want to explain first.

Also, from this point on, I’m going to use Hiroki’s name to refer to his (the protagonist’s) past self as well because it’s starting to get confusing. Once again, Hiroki is the final incarnation that made his debut from 2014 onwards; anything about him from before then refers to his past self.

As the Fourth Doctor’s companions (first timeline)

The events of 2007-2010 are split into two timelines. In one timeline, the Doctor was helping around the events of the Parallax War while not actually fighting in it himself (for the most part). In another timeline, the Parallax War is invisible to the residents of that timeline while another war happens around them; the Last Great Time War on Earth. I’ll explain more about them in a later instalment.

During the first timeline, most of the characters were companions of the Fourth Doctor at one point following Fifi Forget-me-not’s departure. Konata was a companion for a full series, while in another series, the companions switched every few episodes, namely Minami, Misao, Kagami and Tsukasa. Tsukasa would later return as the Fifth Doctor’s companion in Series 6 Part 2 and Series 7 Part 1.

Once the first timeline ended, everyone would be de-aged and returned to the past to relive those years again in the second timeline.

As various armies (second timeline)

During the second timeline, the characters formed or joined armies as they fought in the Time War. The respective armies are as follows:

Oda Army (Konata, Yutaka)

Shimazu Army (Kagami, Tsukasa)

Chōsokabe Army (Miyuki, Minami, Misao, Patricia)

Azai/Asakura Army (Hiyori, Ayano)

The four armies were conquered and absorbed into Parker and Hiroki’s army in 2010. A year later, the mega-army split up and Parker eventually united them all again, starting with Minami and Yutaka, who joined him after he saved them. The year after, the armies split up again and the story continues from there.

Kyōko Izumi: The Genesis Prototype

Kyōko is known as the “Genesis Prototype” because he is the first character to be created as a “prototype” back in 2011. He emerged from Hiroki’s fifth incarnation after suffering a broken heart. No, it wasn’t because of Akari, it was because of someone else.

Around the time of his regeneration, Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki, who were acting undercover to counter an enemy ambush, while the Fourth Doctor was nearby in the TARDIS, waiting for Sycorax and Hoix ships to attack. Once the enemies began their attack, the Doctor and Konata’s group sprang into action. They found the recently-regenerated Kyōko, who still had his archetype’s face and was trying to fight off the aliens, and took him to the TARDIS, but he accidentally drops his sword.

A Sycorax took the sword back to his ship and used it to power their ship’s laser beams. At the same time, they took the TARDIS as well. As the Doctor and the others go out to confront the Sycorax, the heart of the TARDIS opens and speaks to Kyōko, giving him the power of the Time Vortex along with his new name and appearance. He then proceeds to snatch his sword back and duel the Sycorax leader, leading him to retreat.

After giving back the sword to his archetype, Kyōko begins suffering from a mental breakdown, like Donna did after her meta-crisis. The Doctor has the TARDIS take back the power it gave to Kyōko, reverting him to his previous appearance and wiping his memory of what happened. He is then left in the care of Konata and the others, warning him that until his regeneration stabilises, he cannot be reminded about the Doctor or he would die.

At some point following this, Kyōko’s soul was brought through time (or not, depending on the timeline) and merged with the Fourth Doctor’s by Yuki Nagato. He would be separated following the latter’s regeneration, with the former having no memory of what happened.

Kyōko’s regeneration was still stabilising by the events of The End of Time. When the Master turned all the humans into his image, he was the only human (apart from Kagami, who was with the Doctor at the time) to not be affected by it. Some time after, he married Konata, having become a couple soon after being left in Saitama.

Sure enough, Kyōko’s regeneration stabilised to the point where he could meet the Doctor again without having a mental breakdown. In the year following his regeneration, he would gradually turn back into the shorter blue-haired man he was during the duel with the Sycorax leader. It may also interest you to know that Kyōko Izumi wasn’t even his original name when I created the character; I gave him that name in 2013, right at the start of the 50th Anniversary Series.

Katsuki Hiiragi: The Adopted Sibling

Katsuki is a meta-character for my actor persona; he wasn’t introduced in my project until 2014, before getting a proper introduction in 2017. You may know him on the Waifu Network as Philip Zhou (周琮平).

In August 2006, Hiroki and Parker were lured into a trap by one of Antoni’s nephews and analysed their DNA to create a clone. The clone was quickly subdued and after Antoni’s nephew was defeated, he was put into UNIT’s custody and was later adopted by the Hiiragi family, becoming their youngest and only male child.

As the years went on, he became a prominent figure in the entertainment industry, having taken up jobs as an actor, singer and presenter of news, sports and other shows. He also became a YouTuber under the name “Myzhouji”, with one of his famous videos being “My Crazy Sister”, showing his own depiction of his sister, Kagami. If you think this sounds like Mychonny (before 2016), then you’re right, because this character is partially based on him. He’s also planning on retiring soon so he can live life out of the spotlight.

His first appearance in Doctor Who was in the series 9 finale, where he, Kagami, Minami and some of their friends (except Konata) sided with the Western Army at Sekigahara against Hiroki and the Eastern Army. When the Girl Power forces on Mt. Matsuo surrendered, Katsuki and the others turned against the Girl Power commanders.

Natsuki Takara: Surrounded by well-endowed airheads

Natsuki was a character during the early stages of my project, but he wasn’t defined as a prototype until late 2013.

When Hiroki’s fourth incarnation was killed trying to save his future girlfriend in a city being attacked by enemy missiles, he was briefly resurrected by a different Sisterhood of Karn. When they told him that he was the key to stopping the Parallax War, he decided to become a warrior and so, Natsuki Takara was born.

Until his archetype could return, Natsuki briefly took over his life for a while as a soldier with the Tongmenghui, made up of young children rebelling against their parents, who had formed a tyrannic empire. He was adopted by the Takara family, who allowed him to see the Tongmenghui’s mission to the end before moving to Tokyo.

Natsuki attended an international school in Tokyo. He later found work at the Yamadori Restaurant in Midori City, home to the Hidamari Apartments. It was also at that restaurant where he met Miyako, a frequent customer there, and became fast friends with her. They would eventually begin dating.

Later, during the 50th Anniversary Series, Natsuki would be known for making his “500 Year Diary” videos in a similar vein to Strax’s field reports.

There are two additional members of the Takara family. Shown below are Toshiaki, Miyuki’s boyfriend and later, husband, and Toshio, Miyuki’s father. Toshiaki was introduced in the Moushouden Series, while Toshio made his debut in the 5115 Specials. Toshio would look older, but at the time, I couldn’t Kisekae for shit. I got inspired to add Toshiaki when I found out that he was a meme (well, not exactly).

Superhero Luckies

By some miracle, the girls stayed in contact a decade after graduating high school. Just as the K-On girls joined the Superhero Project, the Lucky Star girls joined as well. By this point, everyone’s got boyfriends now.

Natsuki, Yutaka, Minami and two non-Lucky Star characters, Hayato Kisaichi (prototype 2.5) and Yui Ichii (Yuyushiki) moved to Auckland, New Zealand to join UNIT NZ, led by Richard Yang (the first prototype). It was also there that the Go-Busters were formed:

Natsuki Takara (Red Buster)

Hayato Kisaichi (Blue Buster)

Yui Ichii (Yellow Buster)

Yutaka Kobayakawa (Beet Buster)

Minami Iwasaki (Stag Buster)

Here’s some trivia. The Go-Busters being based in New Zealand is a reference to how Power Rangers seasons from Ninja Storm onwards were produced there. No, they don’t use any Beast Morphers-exclusive weapons because my version of Gokaiger was made just before Hasbro announced that they would adapt Go-Busters.

The rest of the Lucky Star characters remained in Saitama and became the Kyoryugers:

Kyōko Izumi (KyoryuRed)

Toshiaki Takara (KyoryuBlack)

Konata Izumi (KyoryuBlue)

Hiyori Tamura (KyoryuGreen)

Kagami Hiiragi (KyoryuPink)

Patricia Martin (KyoryuGold)

Ayano Minegishi (KyoryuCyan)

Misao Kusakabe (KyoryuGrey)

Tsukasa Hiiragi (KyoryuViolet)

Katsuki Hiiragi (KyoryuSilver)

I wanted to put in Konata’s father, Sōjirō, as the original KyoryuViolet before he had to pass on his powers to Tsukasa, but I didn’t want to waste time on that storyline. I didn’t put Miyuki in as a Ranger because of her clumsiness – somehow, I think she would probably agree.