#you would have been traumatised by the fanart alone

[unclefathersantateddy]

When I see posts calling the cannibalism pilot of Bob's Burgers "scary" and "unsettling" all I can think about is how these people would not have survived 2013-2015 tumblr when Hannibal was at its prime👀.

[mickstart]

Re your last headcanon ask: I ABSOLUTELY think we get an unfair balance of jealous Aventurine as compared to Ratio. Do you have any thoughts on how Ratio's jealousy/possessiveness would manifest? Aventurine-centric again, but I love in fanfic/fanart when he's being all over the top friendly to Ratio and then sends whoever Ratio was talking to The Death Glare™. Real gap moe.

I also love when jealousy is the thing that makes them realize "oh Shit I think I care about him more than the average coworker amount"

Okay I think. The thing about Ratio is he's so resigned to his own isolation that he probably doesn't usually GET jealous bc he's just like "of course people want to spend time with others over me. they always do. I don't care." and I think it would be a pretty new feeling to him. He'd beat himself up a LOT for getting possessive because he'd be so annoyed at how irrational it is. So his possessiveness would probably be more lowkey than Aventurine's.

I think pre-relationship he sits there and silently seethes watching aventurine flirt and YES that would probably be the thing that makes him realise he likes him a little too much. Just imagine Ratio on the sidelines watching Aventurine show a little shoulder at a bar, distracting someone he's about to fleece, and he's just hit by this competely irrational emotion he has NO idea what to do with. All he knows is he wants to march over there and throw the mark out the window.

But in a relationship he'd know that was a Tactic aventurine uses, and I think he'd kind of get off on the "Aventurine is playing all these people they don't know he's only interested in ME" (Top 50 ratio ego moments) In fact it might be a tactic of theirs on missions, to have Aventurine seduce someone and then have Ratio show up like "hello darling. mwah." and Aventurine introduces him as his Husband. (They are not married.) It makes the mark uncomfortable and also makes them feel like they can confide in Aventurine because they Share A Secret with him.

(And maybe Ratio Thoroughly Enjoys kissing Aventurine in front of them to make a Statement, and Later, Alone, reminding Aventurine who he's always going to go home with.)

Sorry another cut, I rambled again but way more this time.

I think it's easy to enter more complicated territory with Ratio's possessiveness, with Aventurine's past being what it is. It would be important that what Ratio feels possessive of isn't Aventurine, but Aventurine's feelings and attention. When Ratio is jealous he's usually doing something to get Aventurine's attention back on him. But - traumatised king that he is - Aventurine ASKS for marks and growly, frustrated possessiveness. He taunts Ratio. Asks him to "claim me", that type of shit. Asks if Ratio will buy him a collar to replace the one he wears for the IPC. Asks if Ratio would wear his collar instead, with Aventurine's address on his nametag, instead of asking him to move in like a sane person.

(Sorry my "Aventurine takes his trauma and regains power over it by sexualising it on HIS terms" agenda is so strong.)

Ratio says he's just going along with Aventurine's kinks to let him work through shit in a safe environment, but he's definitely into having Aventurine whine that he's His, or dig his nails into his hips and tell him he's HIS. He's never really been Wanted like this, enough that Aventurine covers him with bites that make him feel warm whenever he sees them, and he's never Wanted anyone else like this. It's a thrill, even if it is humiliating that Aventurine reduces him to animalistic urges. (And even more humiliating that he's then into Aventurine making fun of him for that.)

And then he buys Aventurine a necklace with his little owl eye symbol on it, and Aventurine wears that Everywhere.

.... and buys Ratio a collar with a small aventurine stone attached instead of a nametag.

[gumnut-logic]

Thunderfam Appreciation Post

I’m giving this a new post to prevent scroll city, but the original and several reblogs can be found by clicking the above link. Also, it’s an excuse to post a piccy of Virg cos any excuse, really :D

Many thanks to @willow-salix for writing this question list :D

Before I start, I just want to say that I value every member of this fandom. I’m often hopeless at communicating in group settings so I don’t speak to many peeps, but that is my failing, not anyone else’s. You are an amazing group and you have supported me and each other just brilliantly over the last nearly three years that I have been hanging with you guys. Thank you ever so much for all your wonderful support and encouragement. I’ve had so much fun and created so much stuff…you guys are amazing. Thunderfam rock!

Please note that my memory is pathetic and I will fail to mention everyone. Please do not take any offence if you aren’t listed below. That does not mean I don’t value you, I do, it just means I have swiss cheese between my ears.

-o-o-o-

Your favourite writer of your favourite boy.

@i-am-chidorixblossom  You are a whumper and comforter after my soul. You speak the Virg :D @vegetacide I adore your turn of phrase and your description is to die for.

The person who's stories you will always read.

I try to read most fics that come across my dash, but there are a few that have me jumping up and down. @i-am-chidorixblossom , @vegetacide , @tsarinatorment , @scribbles97 , @the-lady-razorsharp , @janetm74 Of course, I regularly fail at this as some of you write a huge amount of fic and I am often playing catch up, but fic!

Who wrote the first fic you read in this fandom.

I landed on FF.net back in May 2018. I immediately ran into @the-lady-razorsharp who I knew from another fandom ten years prior and she was absolutely wonderful, drawing me in and introducing me around. I gobbled up several of her fics in the process.

Person you can talk to for the longest without a break.

I am hard to get started, persistence is required, but once started, it is usually hard to shut me up. @scribbles97 @vegetacide and @tsarinatorment have all discovered that. Dangle a Virg, a plotline and stand back.

Person you can't be trusted to be left alone with.

Um, @vegetacide and I have plotted out the entirety of Warm Rain together…poor Virg. Add @the-lady-razorsharp into the equation and Virgil ends up with a beard, dressed in leather and riding a Harley – that was a hilarious evening.  Between @tsarinatorment and @janetm74 Virgil gets grey hairs and has to go rescue Scott – because Scott inevitably ends up in the story :D  @scribbles97 gets the blame for Gentle Rain – expand your horizons she said ::headdesk:: But then there was the time I left one random line about Eos visiting Virgil in the shower and went to bed. I woke up to hilarity and chaos as Thunderfam took the idea and ran with it! Love you guys :D

Person whose fic made you cry the most.

I know there were at least two fics that made me cry, but for the life of me I can’t identify them. I did cry writing my own fic – Flannel – and don’t tend to reread it for that reason. Purupuss traumatised me with A Quiet Day to the point I had to put it down and walk away for a bit ::wails::

Person whose fic made you laugh the most.

I have no idea. I know there are fic out there and I know I’ve read it, but without a complete list of everything I’ve read, I don’t have a clue.

Person whose fic made you think the most.

Aaaargh, I don’t have a master list so can’t remember everything. Staring at my paltry favourites list on FF.net (which was mostly gathered three years ago and never maintained), Purupuss’ ‘Brothers in Arms’ and her whole Quiet series has me wanting to write a Scott-Virgil telepathic fic (and she has given me permission to run with the idea, I just haven’t actioned it yet). Counterpoint by Swallow and Amazon is amazing and likely contributed to Sotto Voce.

Person you have laughed with the most.

I’m really not liking this ultimate one person idea. I’ve laughed with a lot of people in this fandom. I’ve candy cannoned a bunch of you as well :P There has been mad plot cackling, evil conspiring, fic written to stir pots and delight on purpose. Hell, I’ve even written fic that was purposefully a giant virtual hug because I’m so far away that even if half the world wasn’t in isolation, I couldn’t hug most of you. Sure, I talk with some of you more than others, and there is laughter in those chats…oh, god, so much cackling, poor, poor Tracy boys. But then there are also so many smiles both vocalised and not. Thunderfam is one of my happy places. Bring on the belly laughs :D

Your comfort fic that you'll go back and read again on a bad day.

I will often resort to my own fic when I’m really down simply because it helps me get to sleep :D and it is kinda tailored to me ::grins::  (and my memory is that bad I often forget what I wrote anyway – yes, it is that bad) But there are also a few on my FF.net favourites list. Mostly hurt/comfort in a Virg flavour. Cheesycheese, nhsweetcherry, A Small Rescue by Nalina, Breathe Easy and Under the Weather by @loopstagirl – several of hers, in fact – the Virg ones :D Pretty much anything that has Virg fainting and being looked after apparently :D Chiddi and Veggie fic, of course.

Favourite piece of fan art.

I have never been so honoured by artists before. This fandom has some amazing skills and I have been gifted some beautiful works. You guys are amazing (I keep saying it like a broken record, but you are).

Again, I’m stuck on having to list one and I can’t. I think Fanart Appreciation Month in January pretty much summed up my opinion.

Who have you known the longest in the fandom.

@the-lady-razorsharp followed by @vegetacide both wonderful peeps. I can’t miss out on @weirdburketeer either for her amazing support almost from day one.

Favourite OC.

I have to say that I really enjoy reading about Ray from @i-am-chidorixblossom ‘s fics :D He is so gentle and kind and just ::sigh:: Virg likes him lots :D Selene by @willow-salix is, of course, a major presence in the fandom and amazingly written. @hedwigstalons ‘ Claire is lovely.

Person who supports your work the most.

The Thunderfam? There have been some wonderful people who support all the time. @hedwigstalons  @cg29 @janetm74 @weirdburketeer in particular have been amazing support liking and commenting on just about everything I write. I honestly don’t know how they do it. Plus several peeps over on FF.net and Ao3 who support me over there.

And then there are the poor souls who put up with me in chat and listen to my wibblies and whining and character checks and field random chunks of writing that get thrown their way. @scribbles97 @vegetacide @the-lady-razorsharp  @tsarinatorment @i-am-chidorixblossom @onereyofstarlight @godsliltippy  @willow-salix @janetm74 all have had random passages thrown at them at all times of the day and night by a crazy me begging for feedback. Does this work? Is this in character? Am I insane? What the hell is Scott doing? Is this John??? I give up, tell me what to do? Virgil is driving me insane! So, um, yeah

Person who's progress you are the most proud of.

I love those peeps who appear in fandom who start off poking around commenting and generally being lovely and then all of a sudden get out their own pens and start writing and they are frickin’ amazing! Both @janetm74 and @hedwigstalons come to mind in this department. Like holy cow – ‘here is my first fic and I’m not sure’ ::reads it:: Omigod! Where did you come from? That was amazing. Sit down here now, keep doing that writing thing, bloody hell! I think being brave enough to pick up a pen and join in is a major thing :D

Person who's story you think is underrated and should be read by more people.

If I find fic I like, I reblog it and shout about it. What I like is definitely skewed in a Virgil direction and this dictates often what I’m going to read first. I can’t reblog what I haven’t read. So, this equation will always be skewed by ‘reasons I haven’t read a fic’ which mostly involves either Virgil or the fact I’m juggling RL. So, my answer to this is if I think a fic needs to be shouted about, I shout about it.

Something you think people would say about you.

She’s nutty.

Silliest 'thing' you do with someone.

I’ve been known to write fic on the fly directly into chat windows to try and distract peeps going through shitty times.

Favourite pairing you now Stan because of someone's fic.

Virgil/Kayo because of @vegetacide for reasons I have blamed her for multiple times. @the-lady-razorsharp and @weirdburketeer were accessories to the fact.

Favourite headcanon from someone's fic.

Um, Virgil and coffee? I got that from somewhere and it has infiltrated my fic…a lot.

Ultimately, though, I feel most people I interact with contribute to my fic and how I’m feeling. This has been a wonderful experience. I try to return the support as much as I can, but sometimes it is a juggle between writing more, my stupid fluctuating mood, the demands of RL and my own creative drive. I hope I’ve helped a few peeps, because you guys have certainly helped me ::major group hug::

And yes, I hug a lot, because to be honest, I have no other descriptor to communicate how I feel, so you get buckets of hugs :D

Tagging the Thunderfam. Feel free to grab these questions and run with them. You’re all part of the gang whether you write, read, art, gif, screenshot, chat, babble, stare at Virgil all day...I know I do a lot of staring.

Nutty

(Thunderfam rocks!)

[czarojay]

I can’t stop thinking about how Wilbur’s music goes with Wilbur the dsmp character( not the real Wilbur Wilbur, the same thoughts don’t apply to irl Wilbur, don’t worry o/ ). So here it is a post where i’m gonna just talk about my thoughts on this topic. 

Not all songs worked for me like Jubilee line for example, so don’t be surprised they’re not included.

Gonna make it a long post so people uninterested can go on, have a nice scroll across your dash, cya next time :] 

Saline solution, not all the lyrics, but a big majority applies to the smp story of his.  

I think I've lost my mind Blurring the fact and the fiction 

This one i’ve used myself in one of my fanarts and i really think it works well with Wilbur. He’s lost himself in the banishment, unsure of whether they’re the heroes or the villains, until he’s gone insane, unsure of what’s the truth and who’s lying to him. Maybe he’s lying to himself? Maybe everyone is actually a traitor? 

I think I've made my choice I'm a disease playing victim Slip the fate slip the victory I think I've made my choice Sink secluded in hatred Void the plans friends are making I think I've found my voice I'm a leech sucking blood bags Taste defeat, it's a sandbag

This really works way too well in my opinion. Wilbur played the victim for a long time, that he untruly lost his presidentship, despite being the one who proposed the election in the first time. He was a poor overthrown rightful leader, not the terrorist some people viewed him as. 

But in the end he did void the plans friends were making. When Tubbo became the president, he left, he made his choise, he let the victory slip, he decided to throw it all to the ground and blow it up. Wilbur the character, was a leech of L’Manburg, Pogtopia and for a brief moment New L’Manburg. At first a looked up to leader, became a person who manipulates others, causes death and destruction and is the source of problems in the end. 

Your Sister Was Right doesn’t have the same energy to me as the song above does, but I still could quite easily find bits which hit me badly.

I thought I couldn't love anymore Turns out I can't, but not for the same reasons as before I use everyone I ever meet I can't find the perfect match Abuse those I love While I ostracize the ones who love me Back

Wilbur the smp character did abuse and manipulate and use people around him. The first wasn’t as noticeable at first, but in the end, I feel it might have been more emotional rather than physical abuse? It’s hard not to imagine all the ways Tubbo or Tommy could have been traumatised because of Wilbur. The Festival is just one of the examples. Tommy for a very brief moment did consider fleeing. He stayed just because Tubbo didn’t want to go with him. 

After the exile Wilbur started to ostracize people around him. He wasn’t the happy and good big brother to everyone of L’Manburg. He became a twisted man, he didn’t interact with them the same way. They didn’t understand him in the end, did they? They were all traitors, couldn’t be trusted. He was alone, he needed to do this by himself, didn’t he? I’m Sorry Boris doesn’t really feel like I could just take out the lyrics and point at Wilbur and go “This fits”. I’m gonna do it anyways and try to interprete them the best I can! 

I'm not good for anyone here We reached the end of a decade Greenwich morphs into an arcade Southwark turns into a highway Up to hamlets, a tax break Newham, Islington a headache And Richmond's still shit

This could work with L’Manburg. This is the end of this era, isn’t it? All the ideals Wilbur stood for have been abandoned. They don’t fight with words anymore, they use weapons. They’re not fighting against the bad guys, Dream, they became the bad guys, terrorists here. They changed and so L’Manburg has also changed. Into Manburg. The walls are gone, buildings abandoned, the hto dog van devastated, new buildings growing and Manburg looks barely like it used to look like. It’s not L’Manburg anymore and even if they won it back it could never be the same, right?

But they'll knock down the pubs before helping you They'll burn down your towers before helping you They'll charge for your healthcare before helping you They'll let you jump under trains before helping you

If you squint hard enough, this could be Wilbur speaking to Niki. Schlatt taxed her more, Sapnap killed Fungi, Fundy, her friend and co-runned for the presidency, in the end also abandoned her for Schlatt, even if he was a spy. 

Even Wilbur abandoned her, waiting for the right moment supposedly, but taking her under his wing only after the Festival, which was when he would kill her along with countless other people if the button plan did work. She was on her own.

And even though I'm finished I'm not quite done with it No matter how far I run south I'm always there My lovers, my colleagues My best friends and enemies I don't think I want to leave you

This could apply to many things. To how Wilbur was in the room 8 times, yet didn’t press it. To how Wilbur gave countless chances, occasions for the problem to be solved without detonating the tnt. But it could also not work at all, since he wasn’t finished. He said so himself. Unfinished symphony. 

But at the same time, he didn’t want to leave them. He became a ghost and ghosts only stay when they have unfinished business behind. He must have decided he didn’t want to leave them, he decided to stay after his death.

And finally Since I Saw Vienna. The song which pushed my to making this post.

I am not going to copy and paste the whole song here, cause that would be such a bother to read and make sense at the same time, so instead i will just talk about my interpretation instead. And I am not saying this interpretation is the best or the correct one, but it’s how i choose to understand this.

Since I Saw Vienna is about a person of fluid personality, a person who also walks and moves and travels. In the second verse the lyrical subject’s goal are described as " horizon's my target “ and it makes me think of a person who has a goal set in mind and tries to reach it, but can’t. It’s moving so they move as well, trying to reach it (” If I keep on moving, never lose sight of it “). 

And doesn’t that sound so similar to Wilbur? He keeps trying to achieve his goal, but in the end he lost it, he doesn’t know what it is anymore. 

Treating my memory of you like a fire, let it Burn out, don't fight it, and try to move on

And this sounds like Wilboo doesn’t it? His memory problems? He does try to remember, but still it’s a little too close for me, not to think about. 

And finally,

I'll pick up my hiking boots when I am ready And I'll put down my roots when I'm dead

These are one of the rawest lines I’ve seen. Maybe not to all people, but this is the part of the song which hits me the hardest.

This is Wilboo. Wilbur is dead, he moved the whole live, he tried to achieve something, he fought, he lived, he lost, he won and he died. He focused on nothing other than reaching his goal during his life. He said he wanted one day to build a small cottage or wood hut in the forest to retire to one day, but he never grasped any chance to do that, he just kept going, trying to achieve something. 

Really, he settled down only when he died. He’s happy again, as happy as he can be with people being anxious around him and his memory being blank and seemingly becoming more and more empty with each day he lives through as a ghost. Only now, he’s building a house, enjoying his post mortiem life.

He’s putting his roots down only now, when he’s dead. 

[psychopersonified]

Interrupted

Q’s video conference gets interrupted by a half naked man wielding a cat... 

Inspired by the multitude of wonderful fanart featuring Q and Bond in front of a computer, some clothed, some not quite 😉. And also by stories of zoom call accidents.

Tags: Freshly established relationship. Breaking the news. 

-------------

“…How much progress are we making in regards to the drag coefficient?” is the next question on Q’s mind as he reviews the R&D stage-gate checklist. Q has his attention on the tablet in front of him, marking up the design drawing with a stylus. The image is shared onscreen with the other three participants of the call. 

“Wind tunnel test results are back, the best we’ve achieved so far is using V308 design, but as expected it does come with some compromise to practicality—”

At R’s sudden pause, Q looks up and turns towards the screen displaying the participants’ video feed. 

“Sorry R I didn’t catch that, you might have cut out for a moment.” He adjusts the wireless earbuds in case they’ve come loose. 

Jenny’s image smiles widely and the others follow suit. “Sir, did you adopt a new kitty?” 

The unexpected question prompts him to look around his desk. He spies Spot lounging out of view of the webcam, by his favourite window perch having just had breakfast. Q assumes the other black and white cat, Jellicles must be somewhere under Spot’s large orange lump. 

“Uh, no?” he is a little discomfited, not knowing what brought on the bizarre tangent in the discussion. 

“Boss, you sure about this? He’s a big one. Might eat you out of house and home,” Nish joins in the ribbing. 

“Granted he’s a silent killer. Any unwanted gifts dropped off on your carpet yet?” Jamila this time. 

“What on earth are you all talking about—,“ in his own video feed minimised out of the way on the bottom right corner, Q finally catches sight of movement in the background. 

The problem with open plan living Q notices for the first time, is the lack of privacy. Not an issue if you’re living alone, but when you have house guests, it makes it trickier. Q’s webcam faces the dining area where Agent 007 is currently making a spectacle of himself. His shirtless muscular back is half turned to them. The light grey sweatpants he is wearing slung dangerously low on his hips - the tops of his well sculpted glutes artfully exposed.

Bond had wandered absently into the dining area, one arm cradling a restless black and white cat to his chest like a baby, but his attention is focused on the tablet held in his other hand. Jellicles is not happy at being ignored - headbutting Bond under the chin and attempting repeatedly to bop the human on the nose to get his attention. 

When the agent is sufficiently annoyed, he locks eyes with the cat for a moment before tipping his head to smush his nose against cat’s forehead - which causes Jellicles to meow loudly in reply. 

Q turns back to look at his monitor, all three participants on the call are staring in open-mouthed shock. He searches his desk for something to throw; a squishy stress toy in the shape of a cow would suffice. Q aims for the torso, but the toy bounces comically off Bond’s rock hard arse instead.

That catches Bond’s attention and he turns around - Q regrets not thinking this one through. He and his little audience are now treated to the frontal view, which is arguably even more distracting. The agent’s golden tan glows in the morning light - accentuating the definition of his well developed pectorals all the way to the rippling planes of the chiseled abdominals and the blonde trail of hair peeking out of the waistband. Further below, the soft cotton blend material of the sweatpants does little to hide the endowments underneath. 

Bond raises a quizzical eyebrow at him. He’d put the tablet down and caught one of the cat’s paws in his hand  in the interim - to stop it from trying to touch his nose and was kissing each little toe-bean before the interruption. Bond is in a fantastic mood this morning and Jellicles must adore him enough to allow such manhandling. 

Q scowls at him and mouths ‘I’m on a call’ while using a hand to gesture at his monitor and the webcam. Bond’s expression turns apologetically wide-eyed for a second in acknowledgment of his little gaffe. But in the next moment, he appears to brush it off -hanged for a sheep as a lamb-.

Instead of ducking out of view, he takes four purposeful strides towards Q’s desk, the cat still in his arms. Q can’t decide if disabling his video would cause more suspicion or if they should just cease with the charade - somehow ‘he’s just a friend who sleeps over and cuddles my cats’ defence doesn’t quite stack up at this point.

Behind him now and without a trace of shame, Bond bends over a shoulder to wink at the three familiar faces in the monitor. Q resists the urge to slap the man away, opting instead to glower at him. The agent senses a rebuke forthcoming, so preemptively uses the cat as a shield. He holds the black and white cat up to the webcam, then pushes the cat in front of Q’s face - Jellicles doesn’t disappoint, immediately latching on and playfully chewing on Q’s nose. 

“Ah! James!” Q tries to flinch away. The assault is over in seconds when Bond pulls the cat away but then unexpectedly returns to peck Q on the corner of his mouth before he can even protest. When Bond straightens again, the expansive view of naked chest and abs fills up most of the right side of Q’s video feed. 

Q has to half turn and physically nudge the agent away with a splayed hand against warm hard muscle. The touch a searing reminder of their activities the night before. Bond is immovable when he doesn’t want to be moved, but he relents after a second or two. His parting gift, was to dip down and nuzzle Q in the hair, using the misdirection to hook a finger around the collar of Q’s jumper, exposing the top of a well bruised collarbone. The hand then slips to caress a long line down his chest to his stomach. 

“James! Will you stop it!” Q hisses. His next reaction is to stab the bastard in the side with the blunt tip of the tablet stylus to salvage his ruined modesty. The man is a menace! 

The bloody peacock doesn’t even have the decency to retreat out of camera view after that, instead he claims a seat in the dinning area, beaming with a satisfied smile. The cat now balanced on his stomach and chest, he moves another chair around so he can prop his legs on it and stretch out, putting himself on blatant display. An artist would beg to paint such a perfect tableau. Q wants to taser the smile off his face. 

Q clears his throat, not daring to look directly at his colleagues - too flustered to offer an explanation as to why 007 was molesting him in his home. So he tries ineffectively for the pretend-it-didnt-happen route, “Um… Right. Where were we? Jenny, the wind tunnel results?....” 

Jamila blinks furiously. Nish makes a hoarse croaking, “Whaaaa…..” like air escaping his lungs. 

And R… well R just says, “Sir, I think I speak for everyone here that we’re traumatised by what we just saw, bloody traumatised. We don’t think we can continue with today’s discussion until a satisfactory explanation has been provided...” R forces Q into a corner. Two other heads nod their support for Jenny’s statement. None of them appear disapproving - but it is guaranteed they are going to take the mickey out of him. 

There is no way he is going to spill tea with Bond still within earshot. The agent’s ego is unmanageable as it is. “If I promise to reveal all on Monday, can we please get on with this?” Q tries to make his whisper sound imperious to no avail - a half naked man lounging in the background tends to undermine one’s authority. 

“Health & Safety would disagree. It’s an occupational hazard you know, to be distracted around dangerous lab equipment,” Jamila points out. The others agree. Mutiny from his top three.

“How is my personal life -your- distraction?” 

“When there is a not inconsiderable pot waiting to be distributed. Come on boss, there’s still time for me to collect my winnings if things go my way,” Nish begs while consulting his phone for the records. 

“So… he’s -James- now is he? Is this a one time slumber party or an extended sleepover?” R powers through heedless. 

Q considers his answer, he is marginally aware of the betting pool around the stupid game ‘Fluster the Quartermaster’ and its various derivative odds regarding which agent, the timeline, where, method of burn etc. - but he doesn’t want to know the specifics as he wants to maintain plausible deniability should it implode in everyone’s faces. 

Bond is still playing with he cat in the background, trying to teach it commands. Q doesn’t want to say it out loud, so he types it into the group chat on the side of the screen:

::We’re moving his things over later today.::

“Called it!” Jenny slams a hand on the table and punches the air in victory. Oh she knew it! Q taking the Friday off (or any day off for that matter) that had nothing to do with his cats was enough cause for intrigue. 

But after the suspiciously expensive gift in the form of the red Hyundai a few months ago, it was just a matter of time. It was not the cost that was the issue, Bond’s wardrobe of bespoke suits probably cost more than the car several times over - it was the sentiment behind it that gave Jenny the courage to place a sizeable bet on them taking the next step towards cohabitation. The car, she read correctly in Bond’s weird wooing language was tantamount to an engagement ring. 

Nish and the others weren’t as good as reading signs, so majority of the odds were still focused around the early stages “NO! What? Wait… When did this happen? What about first date? First snog? First shag?” Nish scrolls furiously through his phone. 

The bets have taken a far more intrusive route than Q had ever expected. “Well I’m sorry my personal life does not follow the path of standard operating procedure… now can we -please- move on?” He’s acutely aware that he is blushing bright pink from head to toe. 

Jenny shakes her head, the only person that would dare to override him, “Q, you took the day off - so take the day off. The prototype can wait. No emergencies at the moment, the castle is still standing. We’ll call if something pops up. Now bugger off and enjoy your day with -James-!” 

*Sigh* Q rubs his temples and gives in reluctantly, “Fine! Yes, alright…” . He knows when something is a lost cause and the news is likely to cause a buzz in Q-Branch that would last the whole weekend - there goes department productivity. He’d hoped to come up with a less sensational way of disseminating the news. He expects massive ribbing on Monday. 

“Oh! Permission to inform Ms Moneypenny about the change in status?” Jenny asks. The girls are having drinks tonight and it would be hell trying to conceal anything from Eve. 

“No no! I’ll… inform her myself... and please try to keep this within Q-Branch, for now?” Eve would find seven ways of killing him if she had to find out from someone else. She’d already ripped into him, calling him a bloody clueless twit when she’d found out about the car Bond bought him as a ‘birthday gift’. As cars go, it was a cheap one - but Bond’s logic to get him to accept it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to him. 

When they’ve all signed off, Q shuts down the computer and lets himself be drawn back into the life inside his flat.  Balanced on Bond’s stomach, Jellicles has miraculously learned how to give high-fives on command. 

“Get dressed please. I’d like breakfast before we head over to your place.” Q tell him as he passes behind the agent. He places a hand on James’ shoulder, causing the agent to tip his head back. Q drops a kiss on his forehead.

“By the way, have you told Eve about… this?” Q asks as he combs his fingernails across Bond’s scalp. 

“Mmm… Not yet. Was thinking of letting her know on Monday.” Bond mutters, eyes closed. The relaxed blissed out look on his face was worth enduring a million papercuts. 

“Well, that’ll be too late. Since you’ve gone and announced it with as much discretion as you conduct your missions…,” Q tugs firmly at Bond’s ears as reprimand, ”…the whole of Q-Branch will know before morning tea. Which means Eve will find out by lunch.”

Just then Q’s phone on the dinning table buzzes with an incoming call. They both pause to stare at the screen. Caller ID displays ::Moneypenny:: ominously. 

“I’ll get dressed. You tell her… She called me a dithering halfwit just last week.” Bond straightens before bolting for the bedroom. 

“Coward!” Q yells at him. He steels himself to answer the phone. When he does, he all but squeaks, “Hello Eve?—“ 

——— FIN————

Notes: The mention about the car gift is from another fic of mine and can be found here - Car troubles and Not Quite Dates.

If you liked this fic, there’s more like it on the blog. Enjoy!

[sayruq]

Sansan will never happen you degenerate creep, doesn't matter what fanart GRRM puts in his house (which has been debunked) . Sandor Clegane broke into Sansa's room with the intention of raping her, a 12 year old child. That's not the start of a romance, that's abuse plain and simple which is why Sansa had to rewrite it in her head to cope with the trauma. If some supposed fanart is your best evidence that a 13 year old is going to marry a 30 year old creep, you’ve already lost the plot.

This entire post is littered with inaccuracies from @cowboysanddragons23​‘s assumption that Sansa is anything like Cersei. Cersei is Cersei because of Tywin. Sansa didn’t grow up with a Tywin figure. When you don’t know anything about either Sansa or Cersei, it’s best not to speak on them. 

There’s the stupid idea that Sansa and Arya are like Cersei and Tyrion. Sansa didn’t bully Arya, Arya projecting her insecurities on Sansa is not Sansa’s fault. Even Sansa telling Arya that she should have died has to do with Sansa’s trauma with Lady’s death. If that bugs you, then it should bother you that Arya physically attacked Sansa and had to be pulled off her. Don’t even bring up Mycah because he was dead long before Sansa chose to stay neutral.

Plus Sansa never said that ugly people are evil and awful. Everyone in the books is blinded by ‘beauty= goodness’ and just because Sansa thinks handsome boys like Loras are meant for greatness doesn’t mean that she hates ugly people. She also never thought Joffrey and Cersei were good because they were royalty. They groomed her. There’s an entire scene where Sansa shakes with fear because she’s seated next to Joffrey and it’s only when he acts decently that she forgives him. She hated Cersei for Lady’s death until she saw Robert screaming at Cersei at which point Sansa began empathising with Cersei. Still Sansa going to Cersei was incidental, she would have gone to Robert to Ned from taking King’s Landing away from her had Robert not terrified Sansa. He terrified Sansa because he screamed at Cersei and pushed Jaime.

Not to mention the fact that you two weirdos think abuse is a life lesson. It isn’t, it’s just abuse. How come you think Sansa is Cersei-lite, yet a good kid, yet someone who deserves to be abused because she, a child, has a childish view of the world? How can such contradictory views coexist? Why does an 11 year old need to grow up quickly? It’s one thing for traumatising events to occur, it’s another thing to think they are a necessity but I guess when you ship a child with someone who is 30, you want that mental gap between them to close as much as possible.

Finally, what did the Hound teach Sansa that makes him her mentor let alone a love interest? That his brother scarred his face? How is that supposed to help Sansa in life? Or was it when he insulted Sansa for ‘repeating what she’s told’ aka sticking to her courtesies? That can’t be it because he was the same person who told her to do and say whatever Joffrey wanted her to do and say. Was it that knights aren’t good? Sansa learnt that when Joffrey had his Kingsguards beat her (the Hound never intervened funny enough). 

What else? Is that ugly people can be good? How did he do that? Even when the Hound rescued Sansa from the crowd he was only doing his duty to protect the Lannister’s sole Stark hostage. We know this because later on he tried to rape Sansa. The Hound helped Sansa escape Lollys fate only to try and inflict it on Sansa himself. He pinned a child down with the intention of raping her. If anything, his actions proved to Sansa that looks don’t matter. Beautiful and ugly people can be good or evil. It’s actions that matter but you don’t consider that a lesson imparted by the Hound, do you? Because then you’ll have to take into account what he did to Sansa.

I supposed when you’re skimming Sansa’s posts for passages where the Hound appears it’s hard to remember basic facts about Sansa

If not for her years as a hostage in King's Landing, Sansa would have turned out into another immature and self-serving tyrant, just like Cersei. At the start of her tale, Sansa could be accurately described as a Cersei in the making.

I disagree on some parts. First, she was lite-Cersei in the making. Sansa was a selfish, privileged girl, and could be a bully when she wanted to. She was also 11-years-old, had been sheltered her whole life, and was quite literally doing what was expected of her (Ned and Catelyn loved both of their daughters, but they had far more issues with Arya's tomboy-ish nature than they had with anything Sansa did - why she should think she was doing anything wrong when her parents didn't see her behavior as a problem?).

The Stark children, despite being good kids, with good parents, needed a reality check. Even the "less priveleged", Jon and Arya, had to see that, even though they were outcasts in their own home, they had it way better than literally any ordinary person of the seven kingdoms. Sansa was just the one who needed it the most because "she had her head filled with songs."

She lives in a fantasy land of knights and maidens, where people can be easily devided into good and evil - the good people are beautiful and pleasant, while the evil ones are ugly and rude. That's not good, but it's something very common for children to think. She has a few elistist ideas (mostly seen by her always looking down on Jon since he is a bastard, and assuming that Joffrey and Cersei must be good people since they're royalty) but she doesn't take it to the extremes Cersei does, because while they share some of the same flaws, Sansa, at her worst, is still the better person. She's immature, spoiled, and can even be cruel, but she's not sadistic, evil or a tyrant in the making.

The second thing I disagree with was that the only way for her to see the error of her ways was for her to be held hostage in King's Landing. We get our first sympathetic look at Sansa on her first real interaction with Sandor Clegane, when he tells her about how his own brother, Gregor, burned him just for playing with a toy that he didn't even want, and was then made a knight. On that moment, even though Sandor is a scary dude who was being way too aggressive, even though he is ugly and cruel while his brother is a knight, meaning that according to what she believed Sandor should be evil while Gregor should be good, she still recognizes the injustice of the situation, tries to comfort him, feels afraid for him, and swears to keep his secret.

That shows me that Sansa only needed someone who wasn't afraid to tell her harsh truths and make her question what she thought she knew to make her grow. It wouldn't make her change as fast as having Joffrey kill her father and hold her hostage would, but it would be a billion times less traumatic and would accomplish the same result. In one of the few wise words of Robert Baratheon "Give her a dog; she'll be happier for it" (and if the dog in question is a Hound, she'll teach him some manners)