#you with a spray bottle*

[ruushes]

had some very specific things i wanted to work on this weekend and got possessed by the specter of undercut lae'zel instead 🤦

[jupiterjelliez]

they heard you had insomnia

[d-emeter]

Secret Santa on base (but the entire 141 is desperate to pull you) — plus-size!fem!reader x task force 141

CW: christmas (?), the boys being a little bit creepy but they're just in love leave them be, allusions to sexual activity

So this somehow ended up from Laswell's pov for the most part lol but it switches to reader for the end! Also happy holidays to everyone that celebrates! <3

When Laswell had brought up the idea of doing a secret santa on base — well, it had been her wife who said they needed some more holiday cheer, and who was she to deny that? — she had not expected it to become something akin to a battlefield. Maybe she should have known better, the soldiers surrounding her were competitive by nature. Winning was always the main goal.

But this time, there was no enemy to defeat, no intel to gain, no hostage to save. No, this time, you were the objective. Laswell was not stupid, in fact, it was her job to be observant, to figure out that which others could not. And to her, Task Force 141 was an open fucking book.

It was in the way Price would leave his hand on your shoulder after offering you an encouraging pat, and how that hand would move lower down your arm or back while he talked to you. It was in the way Ghost would always prepare an extra cup of tea to bring to early morning briefings, trying to subtly push it your way while you were rubbing at your eyes. It was in the way Gaz would lean over you when you asked him to come look at something on your laptop, arms on either side of you and practically caging you in. It was in the way Soap would always find a way to touch you, without fail, calling you 'bonnie' or 'love' in that obnoxious Scottish accent as he threw an arm over your shoulders. It was especially in the way the other three would scowl at whoever had your attention for the moment. It was clear as fucking day — they all wanted you.

Laswell knew this and, in hindsight, should have taken that into account when organizing the gift exchange. This realization came when Price knocked on her door just after the announcement had made the rounds. He had inquired if she was going to be the one to select the secret santa's, and if he could maybe take a look with her — just to make sure they weren't pairing up people that disliked eachother and causing issues, he explained. When she told him no, some random online generator would do just fine, Kate got her confirmation that he was lying about his motives — she'd never seen the captain look that disappointed.

After the secret santa's had been given out, she realized that maybe it was time to do some damage control. She had walked into the rec room to find Gaz grilling everyone in there on who they pulled, seeming more agitated each time they did not answer with what he wanted to hear. A few hours later, he had apparently found the one he was looking for, as Laswell overheard someone talking about how Sergeant Mactavish had offered the person in question nearly 100 bucks to switch. Then the report came in about Lieutenant Riley threatening that very same person, and Laswell had had enough.

REMINDER: SECRET SANTAS ARE FINAL AND CANNOT BE EXCHANGED.

She pretended not to hear the huffing from Price as he read the email she had sent around.

Kate had hoped the situation had been subdued with that, yet still couldn't shake the weird feeling in her underbelly when the base christmas party came around. Everything seemed fine, at first; there stood a sadly decorated plastic tree in the corner, lights were strung up around the room and the secret santa table was overflowing with badly wrapped gifts. Everything would be fine, right?

—

Wrong.

You had been excited about the gift exchange. It was a fun way to interact with some of your coworkers that you hadn't done so with yet, and you had always liked giving out presents. You tried not to beam too bright when Kate unwrapped the gift you had got her, and got up excitedly when your name was called. It was nothing special, really; a cute mug with a bar of chocolate inside, courtesy of some random private you had never really had the chance to talk to. You were grateful nonetheless.

But then your name was called again. And again. And again. The flush of embarrassment grew with each one. By the end of the night, you had five gifts in total, somehow. The second gift was a bottle of perfume, and you had to stifle a gasp as you saw the brand — it had to have been close to three figures in price. You tentatively spray some on your wrist, and- Hadn't you smelled something similar on Gaz when he greeted you earlier?

The third gift was a basket filled with goodies; all your favourite sweets and snacks, a pair of fuzzy socks, a book you had had on your wishlist for a while, and, wait, was that..? You're so preoccupied with using the socks to hide the box of XXL condoms that you don't notice how Ghost's fingers move to adjust himself in his pants.

You start to feel really flustered when your fourth gift is handed to you, trying not to flounder under all the stares you're getting. The box looks expensive, and reveals a gorgeous pearl necklace when you open it — God, that must've been at least triple the given budget. You have to hide the added note from view when you read it: 'Just a placeholder until I can give you a pearl necklace of my own -S'.

You don't even open the fifth gift, choosing instead to quickly accept it and ushering the announcer into calling the next name. You feel a little faint when you actually open it once you're in the privacy of your room — it's a fucking vibrator. The little instruction manual says something about it being remote controlled — so where is the controller?

[canisalbus]

That juice box ask is so right. Machete will definitely shrivel into dust if he does not have his daily H2O intake.

.

[peachdues]

Not quite a rec, but Compass was AMAZING! Pls if it’s not too much trouble I would adore reading a part 2!!!! Truly amazingly written and had me absolutely simping over our favorite scarred lad

Ahhh thank you darling!! Part II (and various other chapters) are in the works — I just need to finish a few scenes in Part II and add a couple of plot things (since right now it’s mostly fluff and smut) and then it will be good to go!

For now, enjoy a little look 😘

“It’s not my fault,” you groan miserably. “I can’t get comfortable.”

With a disapproving click of his tongue, Sanemi flips you to your back and under him.

“You still got cramps?” He hovers over you, nose nearly bumping yours.

Wide-eyed and blushing at his proximity, you nod.

“You took your meds already?”

Another nod.

“And they ain’t helping?”

This time, you slowly shake your head.

And then a smile, a wickedly devious smile, spreads across his lips. “I know what will.”

He vanishes around the corner of your wall that blocks your bed from view of the small hallway containing your bathroom, one cabined by a laughably tiny linen closet.

Sanemi reappears a few seconds later, one of your towels in hand.

“Hips up,” he orders, motioning for you to lift yourself from the mattress. Wide-eyed, you obey, your heart fluttering in your throat.

“For the record, I don’t care if we use a towel,” Sanemi tells you as he spreads it beneath you, creating a barrier between your body and your blankets. “I’d wash the sheets for ya once we finished. But if you prefer to use it, that’s fine by me.”

His hands guides you back down against the bed and linger once you settle, his fingers teasing along the jut of your hip.

“But a period ain’t gonna stop me from helping my girl feel good.” He bends down to seal his promise with his lips against your thigh.

[junespriince]

The only schedule posts because I wasn't informed about this trip and thus couldn't plan my shit wtf, so ration this out y'all, see you soon!

Oldy, the spray bottle Batfam with a bonus let's go

Tim, packing he is bags:

Dick: ah, going on a trip with your boyfriend?

Tim: no, we're doing too well so I know he's gonna break up with me soon, so planned ahead I'm going to a remote cabin in the mountains and prepare for this mentality and also to have comebacks if it gets messy.

Dick:

Tim: please don't get the- *spray with water* ack!

Dick: how do you have Bruce level trouble with relationships, and how do you even know Bernard wants to break up with you!? *Sprays him again* put your stuff back, where's Steph?

Steph: I heard, I'm here, I need my spleenless model anyways.

Dick: good, keep him.

---

Bruce: but... Bludhaven needed their Nightwing...

Dick, spray him: I agree they needed a Nightwing, not a walking therapy bill!

---

Jason: I swear to god Almighty I will take you out like your momma should have of you wet my hair.

Dick:

Jason: I'm warning you dickface.

Dick:

Jason: Dick, I'm not joking—

Dick, spray him: worth it.

Jason: I hate you.

---

Cass: I need the bottle, some have forgotten to fear me.

Dick, hands it over: go wild sis.

---

Duke: water can't be that effective.

Dick: it is, watch, Jason bed.

Jason, digging through the pantry: I'm 21yo, I don't gotta shit— ack! Hey!

Dick, holding the bottle like a gun: make my day, sunshine.

Jason, grumbling: fine, fine I'm going to bed, jackass.

Dick: see, it works wonders.

---

Dick: dami, kiddo, why don't you go outside and play with Jon or Titus?

Damian: tt, I'm working on this charcoal study, I'll go outside tomorrow.

Dick, spray him but missing his art: outside, now, get some sunlight and fresh air.

Damian: fine, tt

Dick: that's great kid, now be home soon love you!

---

Dick: there's no other way, I may die but it have to save the world.

Wally, spray him: the hell you do!

Kori, taking the bottle to spray him: get your pretty ass back in to the ship, we can do this without dying, babydoll.

[loganslowdown4]

Virgil: God, Remus, when was the last time you brushed your teeth?

Remus: What day is it?

Virgil: Wednesday—

Remus: Then never.

Virgil: *gags*

[skitskatdacat63]

This is literally the hottest Fernando pic of all time, no argument

[lum164]

Drew them with their hair somewhat dyed

[bearly-holding-on]

[zephyrrhiesfyrian]

"I don't care how special your hands are, Pharma, you don't touch the Killswitch"

[thatmooncake]

Well that escalated quickly 🌹

[trungles]

So I’ve been working on this Sphinx illustration on and off for fun (it’s not quite done, and I’ll pop it up on Patreon when it is), but then I was immediately overtaken with the notion that a Sphinx would just be the most disastrous mythical animal. She’s like if your cat could operate a can opener and also insult your wardrobe and quote Vanderpump Rules. Plus you’d need to keep her indoors because she would be murder on the local alkonost population.

[saintshigaraki]

shidou loves loves LOVES bouncing you on his thigh. and unfortunately he will do it in semi public spaces

[messiahzzz]

When I came across that "joke" from Tav to Quill and Z'rell's comment (plus Halsin), I had to take a minute to process what happened. Gale might be a bit silly and eccentric but he's the kindest, sweetest and most passionate character in that party. No wonder the poor man has deep insecurities to solve, so many people reduce him to an easy target! Ofc one of the side effects would be overconfidence and ambition as a defense mechanism. He's obv lonely; only Tara and Morena ever loved him for him.

his eccentric nature might be a part of it. he is loquacious, outgoing, and doesn’t see the point in hiding his enthusiasm. he is considered to be the weird one. naturally, wizards in general being seen as somewhat squishy and physically weak might also add to it.

personally, i really don’t like the implications of the (widely considered) autistic-coded character being the one who faces the most ridicule by far by other characters and fans (and larian) alike.

some might disagree with me on that, but i don’t find it funny by any means either. mostly it just makes me feel bad. “he deserves it. cocky, arrogant, hubris-ridden wizard needs to be taken down a peg” like he isn’t… y’know… already at his lowest. it also disregards the fact that much of his bravado is part of his carefully curated Great Wizard of Waterdeep™ persona that he has skillfully adopted to mask his general feeling of being defective. being fiercely proud of your skill and knowledge and being doubtful of having something truly worthwhile to offer are mindsets that can coexist. according to fandom, gale is either secret hubris incarnate that is only waiting to be unleashed upon the world or pure baby that can do no wrong. instead of a character that is just as flawed and traumatized as all the others, but no less deserving of genuine love.

to me, the constant ridicule just reads as further feeding into his deep-rooted insecurities and his belief that he (as gale, the person) isn’t someone who holds inherent worth. it really, really doesn’t sit well with me.

[miwachan2]