#you will pay for your crimes coryo

[americanprometheuss]

just fell to my knees in walmart cause i remembered that tigris was willing to lay down her life and sell herself to make sure that coryo had food on his plate and was willing to do anything to ensure his safety while he was so quick to manipulate her love for him and eventually cast her away after she no longer had use to him

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (43)

Coral: I’ll be honest, our Menders-

Lucy Gray: Mentors.☺️

Coral: *glares at Lucy Gray* Our Menders might be a bunch of drunk idiots, but their gift baskets and cookies were delicious.

Otto: True. I can’t seem to stop eating the blueberry flavored ones.

Mizzen: Hey, does anyone want to donate their shares to me-

Panlo: For the last time, 4, we are not giving you our shares!

Mizzen: Why?!

Panlo: You know why!

Mizzen: Seriously, I don’t-

Ginnee: You literally stole and ate half of our goods already!

Dill: You also stole and ate Wovey’s last cookie.

Mizzen: That was Brandy!

Brandy: No, it wasn’t! I was too busy stealing and eating Reaper’s-

Reaper: That was you, 10?!

Brandy: See! I told you I was committing a totally different crime at that time.

Mizzen: Fine. It was me.

Reaper: You heartless little shi-

Mizzen: But you guys weren’t eating them!

Treech: Obviously, we were saving them for later!

Mizzen: But I’m hungry.🥺

Reaper: How are you still hungry?! You literally stole all of Lamina’s cookies!

Mizzen: But I thought she didn’t want them-

Reaper: Look at her! She’s still crying over them!

Lamina: My cookies!😭

Mizzen: Well, we can always wait for pretty boy (Coryo) and his rich boyfriend (Sejanus) to give us more food-

Marcus: Please stop mentioning idiot Plinth in front of me and my stale bread.

Treech: Why, Marcus? Are you embarrassed to see your friend again-

Marcus: Idiot Plinth is not my friend!😠

Lucy Gray: But you still ate the cookies he gave you-

Marcus: I ate them out of spite!

Coral: And you’re also invited to their upcoming wedding-

Marcus: Don’t remind me!

Circ: I’ll go to their wedding if you don’t.

Lucy Gray: Me too!

Mizzen: Free food is free food.

Marcus: Ughhh! Why are you supporting crazy Plinth and his pretty blonde boyfriend?!

Lucy Gray: FYI, Coryo’s hair is not blonde. It’s white as snow-

Marcus: You’re even using his stupid nickname!

Lucy Gray: We’re best friends.☺️

Marcus: Since when?!

Lucy Gray: Since the moment I promised Coryo and Sejanus that I’ll sing ✨Snow On The Beach✨ and ✨Lover✨ on their wedding day.😌💅

Marcus: Don’t say his name!

Lucy Gray: Sejanus.

Marcus: I hate you-

Sejanus: Hi, guys!😊

Tanner: What the heck?!

Jessup: How did you get in here?!

Coryo: My fiancé payed the Peacekeepers to let us in.

Coral: That’s allowed?!

Lucy Gray: Hi, Coryo!

Coryo: Hey, Birdy.

Sejanus: Hi, Marcus!

Marcus: I ain’t Marcus!

Sejanus: But-

Lucy Gray: I thought you guys were punished by your Dean for ruining your fancy school’s reputation?

Sejanus: We were!😀

Coryo: And this is our punishment.

Treech: To annoy us?!

Coryo: Unfortunately, no. But we were ordered by ✨The Academy✨ to bring you guys some food and supplies.

Lucy Gray: How did you even get your fancy school to support us?

Coryo: ✨Ravinstill Nepotism✨.

Reaper: Ravinstill?!

Coryo: It’s the most powerful name in the Capitol.

Coral: So where are they, Blondie? Where’s my cheesecake and burgers?

Coryo: Well, I was thinking about asking you guys what you want to eat because Sejanus said that we could order takeouts today.

Dill: What’s a takeout?

Coryo: Basically, you order the food that you want to eat and someone will deliver it here for you.

Lucy Gray: We can order anything?!

Coryo: Anything. My boyfriend is rich AF.

Sejanus: Order what you want, Coryo, my love, my Snow Angel!😍

Coryo: See. I told you he’ll pay for it.

Tanner: Must be nice to be Plinth’s sugar baby-

Coryo: Boyfriend.

Tanner: Sugar-

Coryo: Boyfriend.

Tanner: Baby.

Lucy Gray: Fiancé!😀

Sejanus: Husband!😘

Mizzen: I want a stuffed salmon with lemon sauce on the side!

Coral: One roasted lobster and hash browns for me!

Tanner: Baby back ribs with fries!

Dill: Green Bean Casserole!

Jessup: One stuffed turkey!

Panlo: A grilled cheese sandwich!

Lucy Gray: Smashed Potatoes with love on the side!😘

Lamina: My cookies!😭

Brandy: Chicken! A whole ass chicken!

Coryo: Slow down! I can’t keep up with all of you shouting at the same time!

Wovey: Can we order a whole serving of Apple Berry Pie?

Coryo: Anything for you, sweetie.

Sejanus: How about you, Marcus?

Marcus: I’m on diet.

Sejanus: But-

Coryo: Babe, let me do it.

Sejanus: Ok.😞

Coryo: How about you, Marcus?

Marcus: Give me a hundred chicken nuggets. I’m hungry.🥺

[mr-nauseam]

I liked that about Coriolanus leaving halfway through the Pure as driven Snow song in the movie because drama but sometimes I'm kind of sad that we didn't get the snowjanus song:

I'll Sell You For a Song 🤧

I always found it telling how the song talks about your partner cheating on you and stop loving you like before (or I understood it that way) and causing you so much pain that to some extent it makes your love turn into hate and contempt enough for you to want and be able to sell them for a song.

Because from this perspective of the ship it is so revealing how Sejanus in Snow's eyes is someone who only brings him heartache and trouble and to some extent he could put up with that because of the love he had for him but everything changes when Sejanus starts lying to his face.

Coryo himself tells us that he never doubted Sejanus' sincerity, he trusted blindly in that trait of his personality until he no longer does and radically changes his attitude towards him.

I think it also says a lot that this happens a little before the conversation about trust with Lucy Gray and I think for Snow himself trust is very important, more than love (they agree on this trait) and it is distrust that condemns his two great loves.

And is that I would not be surprised a part of why Snow betrays Sejanus is not only his desire for self-preservation and paranoia, I think that although he refuses for a long time to admit that it was obvious to send the jabbarjey would condemn Sejanus and he did it expressly with that intention, that's what happen.

Coriolanus always had a desire to condemn / punish Sejanus in some way, for the many crimes that in Snow's delusional head the poor boy had committed, (stealing his life, not making good use of his position, etc). I think highlights the big crime of Sejanus in Coryo eyes is that he become a traitor and he must pay for it.

Sejanus betrayed Coriolanus first from his perspective when he didn't choose him over the rebels or the people of the district every chance he got and he stuck the dagger in symbolically when he started to be dishonest with Coriolanus.

And I think that feeling pushes Coryo to do what he did bc is resentful and like Lucy Gray sadly would show us later, if Snow think u are not worthy anymore of his trust and you put him in danger / do something he didn't like, he is going to fucking kill you ��� (yeah we didnt't know Lucy Gray fate but I think we can agree that Coriolanus did not want to have a civilized conversation with her lmao).

Thanks for coming to my ted talk about how twisted is the little brain of Snow

[heavensbeehall]

"The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes," Chapter 1

Part I: The Mentor

Chapter 1. Snow has cabbage. He's worried about his shirt. Tigris comes to the rescue. He insults his grandmother's singing ability. Grandman gives him a rose. He goes to the Academy. Sejanus warns of impending taxes. Dean Highbottom gives him the distrcit 12 girl.

Thoughts:

-- I decided to play a game. Let's see how many sentences into Snow's internal dialogue I can go before I roll my eyes at him. I toyed with the idea of saying it was when he refers to "district scum" which is the first paragraph but it's not a whole sentence. So it's the first full sentence on the second page, "Only one thing — herself — and the house of Snow had not yet fallen that far." Pretentious and insulting to his cousin.

-- It doesn't sound like the war was unusually bad. Not that any war is fun, but for the Districts to be punished for 76 years for their "crime" it doesn't sound like they did a genocide or war crimes or anything like that. People in the Capitol are so dramatic.

Quotes:

Everyone had learned to despise waste. It was creeping back into fashion, though. A sign of prosperity, like a decent shirt.

That doesn't last.

He reached for the rose, but a thorn pierced his palm in the shaky exchange. Blood welled from the wound, and he held his hand out to keep it from staining his precious shirt. His grandmother seemed perplexed.

Blood and roses. (Also, like, come on, Coryo. Did you not know roses had thorns? I know your grandmother is a pill but this is not the thing you should be upset about.)

His front door opened onto the Corso, an avenue so wide that eight chariots had comfortably ridden side by side on it in the old days when the Capitol had put on displays of military pomp for the crowds. Coriolanus could remember hanging out the apartment windows as a young child, party guests bragging that they had front-row seats to the parades.

Do the chariots of the Tribute Parade go down the Corso? I'm a bit confused about the geography of the Capitol.

With this in mind, for the first time the tributes were to be assigned mentors. Twenty-four of the Academy’s best and brightest seniors had been tapped for the job. The specifics of what this entailed were still being worked out.

We are not told whose idea it was to pair the teenagers of the Capitol with teenagers of the Districts. Given the life or death stakes, I would expect some Capitol teens to feel bonded to their Tribute, as Coryo will (even if it's not necessarily romantic for all of them). So what am I am wondering is if this was designed to upset the future generation of leaders--possibly to stop the Games (in which case I'd guess it's Highbottom's idea) or if it is a test to see who will be the most ruthless (in which case it's probably Gaul's idea). I guess it could be both. Later it says Highbottom is "overseeing" it "personally" so maybe it was his idea?

For Coriolanus, the Plinths and their kind were a threat to all he held dear. The newly rich climbers in the Capitol were chipping away at the old order simply by virtue of their presence.

In the first chapter of The Hunger Games, Katniss's little sister is chosen to die. By contrast, Coryo's big problems are his shirt and Sejanus being a rich upstart. Oh and later, he doesn't want to pay taxes--that's a big escalation of his problems. Again, it's very hard for me not to roll my eyes at him, as I may have mentioned.

Sejanus had arrived on the school playground ten years ago, a shy, sensitive boy cautiously surveying the other children with a pair of soulful brown eyes much too large for his strained face. When word had gotten out that he’d come from the districts, Coriolanus’s first impulse had been to join his classmates’ campaign to make the new kid’s life a living hell.

Lots of kids are mean to other kids and they grow out of it. It's not that Coriolanus is remarkably good or bad here. He's just pretentious and kind of a dick. But like a regular jerk. The kind who becomes a finance bro or a tech startup. Not necessarily evil dictator level stuff. He's super basic in a way.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (69)

*Code names are for losers*

Festus: Yo, guys-

Lysistrata: Not now, Creed.

Festus: Just hear me out.

Sejanus: Bro, be quiet. Someone might hear us.

Festus: It’s very important.

Coryo: No. We’re going to do our history homework today-

Festus: Really, Coryo? Inside the school gymnasium?

Coryo: Unfortunately.

Festus: But you could always finish that stupid paper tomorrow-

Coryo: Professor Demigloss said that whoever passes their homework first gets a day off from school.

Festus: But it’s the middle of the night and we are about to commit a crime against Dr. Gaul!

Coryo: Creed, calm down. It’s not the end of the world. We’re just here to steal that crazy woman’s plans for this year’s Hunger Games.

Festus: Which is a crime! A dangerous crime!

Coryo: That we’ve all agreed to commit together.

Sejanus: And forever.😍

Io: I’m so excited! This is my first time committing such a heinous act! I feel so rebellious-

Vipsania: Don’t say that word. It’s forbidden.

Io: Rebellious.☺️

Vipsania: *gasp* She said it again!

Coryo: We’ll be fine.

Festus: But still!

Coryo: I don’t care. I’m getting that day off with my boyfriend.

Sejanus: Me and Coryo are going to go on a super secret romantic date. Afterwards, we’re going to-

Lysistrata: F*ck.

Sejanus: Obviously.

Coryo: This is why we shouldn’t finish each other’s sentences.

Festus: You two are going on a secret romantic date without me?!

Coryo: Fortunately.

Festus: But I want to go on that date too!

Hilarius: Can I join? I wanna take some cute candid photos of Coryo-

Coryo: Ew. No. Go away.

Hilarius: I’ll give you 20 bucks.

Coryo: Not enough.

Festus: How about we all go on a double date instead!

Coryo: A double date with who?

Festus: With me and Percy-

Hilarius: And me!😀

Sejanus: No! My Snowy and I need our ✨alone time✨ too!

Coryo: We’re going to-

Felix: F*ck. We know.

Festus: But I wanna go on a date with you guys!😫

Felix: Bro, lower your voice. No one knows we’re here, remember?

Festus: But-

Androcles: Shhhh! Do you hear that?

Coryo: Hear what?

Androcles: I think I heard someone or something squeaking-

Festus: That’s just my precious Odysseus.

Androcles: Who’s Odysseus?

Festus: My freaky pet rat.

Vipsania: Creed, I told you not to bring your ugly fat rat to school!

Festus: Sickle, my bro, don’t be like that. My Ody just wanted to run around and get some fresh air. That’s all.

Vipsania: Not inside the school gymnasium! I workout, eat, and sleep here for Panem’s sake!

Felix: Ney Ney, why do you even live here? Last time I checked, you and your super buff family live in a huge luxurious house that looks like a gym.

Vipsania: Yeah. However, my very competitive and delusion mother kicked me out last year.😞

Felix: Why? What did you do?

Vipsania: She thinks that I’m an enemy of the state for having more track and field medals than her. So she kicked me out.

Gaius: That’s wild, bro.

Domitia: Girl, your mother’s insane.

Hilarius: My parents kicked me out too. Now I live in a dumpster with Creed and his rats.😊

Festus: You don’t even pay rent.😒

Hilarius: I will. . . Someday.

Pup: How the mighty have fallen.

Florus: Sorrows and prayers.

Hilarius: Thanks-

Florus: Not you, Heavensbee. I’m giving my condolences to Ney Ney.

Vipsania: I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I still have my auntie Sickle.

Festus: Anyways-

Coryo: Babe, what’s the answer to question 7?

Sejanus: Read it for me, my love.😍

Coryo: Who is the current mayor of District 2?

Sejanus: Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly.

Coryo: Thanks, Babe.

Lysistrata: Is he a good person?

Sejanus: Mr. O’Rolly is not even a person. He’s just a piece of rock.

Lysistrata: Like literally?

Sejanus: He’s very solid.

Lysistrata: So a piece of rock is currently the mayor of District 2.

Sejanus: He’s been the mayor since we were in grade school.

Gaius: And nobody said anything?!

Dennis: Bro, where did your people even find Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly?

Sejanus: A random hobo found him “sitting” inside a cave 4 days before the election.

Urban: Who the f*ck would vote for a piece of rock?

Sejanus: Don’t judge my District! They’re trying their best!

Urban: To ruin their lives!

Coryo: Canville, shut up. We don’t have the right to judge them.

Urban: I can judge whoever I want!

Coryo: We literally voted a fluffy fat cat to be our official Capitol Mayor a few months ago.

Urban: But to be fair, Boa Bell is a good Mayor.

Sejanus: Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly is also a good Mayor, Ban Ban!

Urban: Is he cute?

Sejanus: No. He’s an ugly rock.

Urban: Can he respond back to you?

Sejanus: No.😞

Urban: That’s what I thought.

Pup: But don’t forget, the true leaders of Panem are a bunch of dogs.

Felix: They’re not just an ordinary bunch of dogs though. They’re-

Pup: A “sacred” pack of Bichon Frisé puppies. We get it.

Clemensia: Pup, does it bother you that your father is taking orders from a literal fur baby?

Pup: No. He loves it.

Festus: But seriously, guys-

Everyone: Creed, no.

Festus: Creed, yes!

Coryo: Ugh. Fine! Fire away.

Festus: Yey! So I was thinking-

Persephone: We’re now thinking?

Festus: No, not really. But since we’re going to stop the Hunger Games forever and save our Tributes from killing each other, we should start with creating our ✨code names✨.

Coryo: Code names?

Festus: Yeah! Code names like Class Pres-

Felix: “Class Pres” is not a code name, Creed. It’s short for Class President.

Festus: Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Class Pres.

Io: I’m with Creed on this one. Having code names are fun!

Juno: For what?

Io: For ✨Operation Felix✨!

Livia: Ew. Code names are for losers. I’m going with ✨Sparkly Sparkly 123✨.

Festus: That’s too long. Make it shorter.

Livia: Fine.🙄 I’m ✨Hot Pink✨.

Palmyra: I’m Monty-

Festus: No. you can’t have “obvious” code names.

Palmyra: Ok. I’m Palmyra-

Festus: Ugh! You guys are so bad at this.

Palmyra: But I’m Palmyra Monty-

Festus: I’ve decided that I’ll be the one to give you guys your code names.

Felix: That’s not fair-

Festus: Felix, you’ll be Hello Kitty.

Felix: I do love Hello Kitty.

Festus: Coryo, you’re Cabbage Soup.

Coryo: What?!

Festus: Sejanus, you’ll be Sugar Daddy.

Sejanus: Coryo’s sugar daddy.🥰

Festus: Palmyra, you’ll be Deadly Pie.

Palmyra: I’m Monty-

Festus: Livia, we all know you’re Hot Pink.

Livia: Obviously.

Festus: Florus, you can be Introvert John.

Florus: That- that actually makes sense.

Festus: Jasper, you’ll be Nuclear Lover.

Io: Ok!😊

Festus: Urban-

Urban: No.

Festus: You’re Anger Issues.

Urban: F*ck you.

Festus: Percy, you’re-

Persephone: Cannibal.☺️

Festus: No.

Coryo: She’s Cannibal, Creed. Deal with it.

Festus: Fine. Dennis, you’ll be Illegal Man Juan.

Dennis: Nice!

Festus: Iphigenia, you’re Super Mart.

Iphigenia: Isn’t that obvious?

Festus: Fine. You can be Skeletor.

Iphigenia: But-

Festus: Apollo, you’ll be Sunshine Valley.

Apollo: Yey!

Festus: Diana-

Diana: I’m Moony!

Festus: Ok. Ney Ney, you’re Buff Baby.

Vipsania: I can live with that.

Festus: Pup, you’ll be Commando Sleeper.

Pup: Cool.

Festus: Juno, you’re-

Juno: Princess Peach.

Festus: Princess B*tch?

Juno: Princess Peach, dumbass!

Festus: Fine! You’re Princess Witch! Happy?!

Juno: Like I care.🙄

Festus: Hilari, you’re-

Hilarius: Queen Bee! I’ll be Queen Bee!

Festus: Fine. Gaius, you’ll be-

Gaius: Zoolander!

Felix: That doesn’t make sense.

Gaius: My family owns the zoo.

Felix: That still doesn’t make sense-

Festus: Zoolander it is.

Gaius: That’s right!

Festus: Andie, you’ll be Catch Me If You Can.

Androcles: Nice!

Festus: Tia, you’re-

Domitia: Cheese Maiden!

Festus: Why?

Domitia: My family sells cheese.

Festus: Your family sells milk-

Domitia: And the best cheese.

Festus: Right. Arachne, you’re- Where’s Arachne?

Coryo: She’s asleep.

Festus: Good. She’ll be Spoon On My Nose.

Clemensia: She won’t like that-

Festus: She’s Spoon On My Nose. End of story.

Clemensia: She’ll kill you.

Festus: She won’t. Clemmie, you’ll be Blood Orange.

Clemensia: I rather be-

Festus: Blood Orange, do you copy?

Clemensia: Copy?

Festus: Good! Lizzie, you’ll be Droug Deleour-

Lysistrata: That’s too obvious! Call me something else.

Festus: Drug Delecour?

Lysistrata: Let’s stick with Droug Deleour. I’m Droug Deleour.

Felix: How about you, Creed? What’s your code name?

Festus: I’m-

Livia: Garbage?

Juno: Dumbass!

Dennis: Rat Boy!

Coryo: Cheesecake!

Sejanus: Burger!

Festus: No! I’m Eagle One!

Everyone: Heck, no!

Festus: Fine. I’ll go with Garbage Man 123.😔

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (30)

*When Dean Highbottom revealed all the Mentors’ infamous list of crimes to everyone at The Academy*

Casca: Thank you, my dear students, for coming to our annual school meeting in Heavensbee Hall. May this year start with good-

Festus: *raises hand* Sir! Dean Highbottom Sir, will there be free food after?!

Casca: Put your hand down, Mr. Creed. And do shut up while I’m spea-

Festus: But I’m hungry~.🥺

Iphigenia: Me too!

Androcles: Can we have pizza? I really want to eat a slice of pizza right now.

Coryo: Is pie even on the menu?

Pup: Does anyone want soup?

Sejanus: I brought bread pudding.

Felix: Can we have takeouts?

Casca: Wait a damn minute! Creed, why are you and your classmates here?! Didn’t I personally banned your class from attending forever?!

Coryo: *stands up* But sir, this is The Academy’s annual meeting. Our class must be allowed to-

Casca: Sit the f*ck down and shut your mouth, Crassus Snow!😡🔪

Coryo: But-

Casca: Not another word, Xanthos!

Festus: Can we ask why?

Casca: Why?! Do you even remember what your class did last year?!

Felix: Sir, I swear it wasn’t us!

Androcles: I wasn’t even there when that incident blew up!

Casca: Don’t you dare lie to me, boy! You were even one of the masterminds-

Livia: Oh, move on, Highbottom!🙄💅

Coryo: Yeah! The water wasn’t even that deep-

Casca: Your freaking accursed class flooded the entire Heavensbee Hall with glitter!

Hilarius: Well, no one got hurt.

Festus: And everyone enjoyed-

Casca: Do you know how much money The Academy had to pay the freaking Department of Education to fix your mess?! To fix our screen?! To get rid of the hot pink glitter?!

Coryo: The glitter was Livia’s idea-

Casca: I had to take another freaking big ass loan from Mama Cardew!😩

Livia: And because of that, my allowance tripled!🥳

Felix: It wasn’t that bad-

Casca: I should’ve just expelled all of you! Especially you, Creed!!

Festus: But you didn’t!😂

Casca: Do you even know how many crimes I had to cover up for your class?!

Androcles: What crimes are we speaking of? Outside or just inside the school?

Felix: I ain’t no criminal! I’m innocent!

Casca: Just let me grab my list. . . Oh, here it is! *reveals a big ass book instead*

Livia: is that your very own Burn Book?

Casca: Mic check, mic check-

Coryo: Well, Andie, good luck. I just hope they didn’t tell Highbottom about the missing Pitbull Rabbit Incident.

Androcles: You know what, I hope they did.😌

Lysistrata: Impressive, really.

Casca: Let’s start small. The first petty crime your class committed was the stealing and eating of the Dean’s favorite apple pie without remorse.

Coryo: That was one time.

Lysistrata: Twelve times, Coryo.

Casca: Another was when a certain someone deliberately locked me up inside the broom closet. Also, without remorse.

Florus: What? I didn’t want to receive a demerit. And I really needed to steal that bleach from the Dean.

Casca: The third was when a certain rich girl illegally customized and dyed our prestigious school uniform sunshine yellow without my consent.

Juno: Excuse me? Yellow was the color of that season, peasant.💅

Casca: There was also that time when someone stole my Bichon puppy and dyed its fluffy fur lime green.

Io: I swear it was in the name of science.

Casca: *keeps on reading* Stealing and hacking my personal computer to change his or her math and literature grade.

Apollo: To be fair, Andie just helped us do the stealing.

Iphigenia: So who did the hacking?

Diana: Coryo Snow.

Coryo: 50 bucks is 50 bucks.

Sejanus: And you guys didn’t even think to invite me?!

Casca: Quiet! Now where was I-

Clemensia: Page 4, paragraph 5, line 7, Sir.

Casca: Oh, yes. Calling and pestering the National Security, just because his calculator was stolen.

Urban: It was a serious national crisis! We had a calculus test that day!

Androcles: And I needed that calculator more than Urban.

Casca: The smuggling of illegal drugs to school, and passing them off as ✨Miracle Pills✨.

Lysistrata: Last I checked, my parents are certified doctors. But for legal reasons, it wasn’t me, officer.

Casca: Dumpster-diving for scraps before class, and lying to Peacekeepers that it was a legitimate after-school activity.

Festus: Collecting free food coupons inside Highbottom’s dumpster is not a crime!

Casca: Skipping school for the hundredth time to attend an underground fancy-dress rave.

Arachne: What? Domitia and Vipsania were also doing it.

Casca: Emptying the school’s food pantry to feed their Tributes.

Coryo: Oh, c’mon! I wasn’t the only one! The Ring twins and the others were doing it too!

Casca: Stealing the Dean’s morphling bottles and illegally reselling them at the Capitol Black Market.

Androcles: Honestly, I needed the extra cash.

Felix: Why? Your family’s rich.

Androcles: My mama froze my allowance after I stole my uncle’s credit card to buy “prohibited” fireworks for the New Year.

Casca: The Smuggling and trading of banned films and items at school for personal profit.

Dennis: It was a really good and profitable business!

Casca: Vandalizing the school’s Hall of Fame by spray painting their family crest on every corner of the hallway.

Hilarius: And it was worth it.

Casca: Poisoning and almost killing half of the school by bringing their infamous deadly apple pies to our ✨End of The Year Class Party✨.

Palmyra: Well, I just hope that this juvenile criminal was caught and sentenced to prison.😌💅

Casca: Annually scaring the freshmen by dressing up as a bloody serial killer cannibal ghost every October.

Persephone: It was pretty funny though.

Casca: Lying to the School Board Committee that I was a certain someone’s sugar daddy who willingly pays for his sugar baby’s education.

Livia: You weren’t?! I mean, you and Coriolanus Snow were so-

Coryo: What the actual f*ck, Livia!

Sejanus: Coryo’s mine!!😡🔪

Casca: Secretly depleting and embezzling the class fund without their classmates’ consent.

Iphigenia: Oh, that’s so horrible! Who would ever do such a horrid thing?

Everyone:. . .

Iphigenia: But for legal reasons, I hope they’ll be caught soon.

Casca: Hacking the school’s sound system to automatically play ✨Gem of Panem✨ whenever I enter and exit a room.

Diana: It was funny!

Casca: Bringing a whole ass dairy cow to their Class Show & Tell, just to milk it in front of the judges.

Domitia: I was thirsty!😩

Casca: Stealing a Jabberjay from Dr. Gaul’s lab and teaching it to say “Your school sucks! Go home, Losers!” to guest students and professors.

Vipsania: To be fair, my aunt (Professor Sickle) gave me her permission.

Casca: Forging his father’s very important signature in order to skip school and attend an underground rap competition.

Pup: The prize money was really worth it, Sir!

Casca: Smuggling illegal sexy magazines and secretly placing them inside my office.

Gaius: To be fair, it was a dare.

Casca: Using his granduncle’s influential family name and position to delay the Hunger Games for the hundredth time.

Felix: Can’t we just officially postpone it forever? No one really wants to watch it anyway.

Casca: Lying to Capitol News that I was unfairly treating and harassing a certain student for being poor.

Clemensia: I wasn’t lying! You were literally emotionally abusing poor Coryo!😠

Casca: How dare you place yourself between me and my Crassus! You have no right to slander me and my boyfriend like that!

Clemensia: *sighs* I should’ve added “delusional” as well.😞

Casca: Now, where was I? Oh, yes! Stealing my boyfriend (Crassus) and claiming that their so called “Snowjanus” ship is better than #Crasca4Ever!

Sejanus: Becuase it is the superior ship!

Casca: No, it’s not!😡🔪

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (31)

Lucky: Welcome back, everyone! I’m your host, Lucky Flickerman!

Casca: Booo! Start the show!

Lucky: But-

Casca: Start the show!

Lucky: A- And- And for today’s show, I’ve invited our Mentors to say hello!

Mentors: Hello, everyone.😔

Lucky: Anything else you might like to add?

Festus: Will there be marmalade at the After Party?

Sejanus: Can I sit next to Coryo? He’s my boyfriend and fiancé.🥺

Coryo: Is this going to take long? I still have an essay to finish.

Domitia: Where’s Jubilee?

Lysistrata: Can I promote my drugs- I mean my ✨beauty products✨ here?

Urban: What’s my name, Lucky?🙂🔪

Palmyra: Do you have health insurance?

Androcles: Is your wristwatch a limited edition?

Gaius: Wanna hear a funny story?😀

Livia: How’s the weather, weather boy?

Lucky: Wai- wait a minute! I’m the one who’ll be asking the questions! Not you!

Felix: To be fair, you asked first.

Lucky: *sighs* Kids these days.

Casca: *sitting with the audience* I knew we needed that rehearsal! I knew it! My dumb kids-

Prof.Sickle: Are doing this to gain more sponsors for the school. More sponsors, more money, Casca.🙄

Lucky: Going back! The first question is for our dear Felix Ravinstill!

Felix: Fine. Fire away, Lucky.

Lucky: Felix, is it possible to ask the President of Panem to extend our summer holidays-

Felix: Next question please.

Lucky: Right! So Mr. Snow, when will your wedding with Mr. Plinth take place? And am I invited?

Coryo: After graduation. Next quest-

Lucky: Can Jubilee-

Coryo: No! Your stupid bird’s not invited.

Sejanus: Sorry, Lucky. No weird talking birds allowed.

Lucky: But am I invited?

Livia: Next question, weather boy!

Lucky: So how’s the mentorship going?

Urban: Pretty great. My Tribute, Teslee is a smart cookie.

Io: Mine asked me to marry him.

Sejanus: Not good, not bad, but terrible! Marcus keeps ignoring me!!😭

Coryo: Lucy Gray can sing ✨Snow on The Beach✨. She’s now my new best friend.

Festus: Coral called me stupid. She ain’t wrong though.

Felix: The Tributes all hate me for being a Ravinstill!😭

Lucky: Well, that’s good to hear!

Felix: *cries harder*

Lucky: So what inspires you? What is your personal “life motto” that keeps you going?😀

Festus: Easy! “Food is food!”

Palmyra: “If it’s edible, it’s credible.”😈

Felix: “Be the President, not a resident.”

Androcles: “I’m a klepto, not a psycho.”

Persephone: “One bite, one life.”

Apollo: “Be a good boy, not a kill joy.”

Diana: “Like Cupid, not stupid.”

Iphigenia: “Don’t be needy, just be baby.”

Arachne: “I’m the star, not subpar.”

Dennis: “It’s not a crime if you got a dime.”

Domitia: “Dogs are clever but cows are better.”

Urban: “Math is meth.”

Io: “Books! Not looks!”

Florus: “Stay indoors, don’t do chores.”

Gaius: “Smile until you die?”

Livia: “Hate the masses, pay my taxes.”

Juno: “You’re a bean, I’m a Queen!”

Pup: “You reap, I sleep.”

Clemensia: “Don’t be an idiot.”

Vipsania: “Grab them by the throat!”

Hilarius: “I’m not a joke, I’m not even broke.”

Lysistrata: “Don’t be a shill, just sell your pill.”

Sejanus: “Throw bread to the dead.”

Coryo: “Snow lands on top.”

Sejanus: Not in bed though-

Coryo: Shut it, Plinth!

Sejanus: I’m just telling the truth.

Coryo: One more word from you and I’ll cancel our engagement!

Sejanus: Oh, Coryo, my Snow Angel, don’t be shy to admit that you love it when I fu-

Livia: Ughhh! Shut up! We don’t wanna hear it!

Lysistrata: I wanna hear it!

Lucky: Me too!

All of Panem: Honestly, same.

Casca: Heck no! Nope! Not today! Show’s over! Children, get out!

Juno: But we’re still LIVE on TV!!

Festus: Yeah! Mother Panem is still watching the Great Festus Creed!

Casca: Do you think I care, boy?! You already ruined my school’s reputation!!

Festus: Sir-

Casca: *screeches like a dinosaur*

Lucky:. . .

Mentors:. . .

All of Panem:. . .

Festus: So is the marmalade still available?

Casca: Get out.

Felix: But the marmalade-

Casca: Get the f*ck out, Creed.😡🔪