#you will not reblog this because i can basically trust five people with this post. do better

[hostilecityshowdown]

i cannot claim i have any moral highground when my favourite gimmick is portrayed by mister thin blue line (gag.) but at least i don't absolve the real world human being of his bigotry just because i think the way he does a little jump is fun. the death of kayfabe has left too many people incapable of identifying the fictional character they like in relation to the real individual person portraying said character, leading to trends like fans en masse defending the most vile shit you've ever witnessed because they can't conceptualise their horny x reader fanfics depicting a literal fictional character and not a real world white man who would, in a crowd of thousands, in a city made and defined and revitalised BY Black people, feel comfortable calling a Black man's grills dirty. instead they are so desperate for that mediocre white ass they will simply pretend it didn't happen or THAT is the only instance of fiction their special person has ever engaged in (aside from any other instances of bigotry or general fucked behaviours, which are ALSO simply the fictional character but not the real man portraying it.)

do you want to have mid sex with the actor (absolved of all potential guilt) or the character (the vessel unto which all unsavoury qualities MUST be relegated)? what are you defending? these people are celebrities acting in live theatre. don't bother trying to rehab their images, genuinely. you can take the fictional character/gimmick they portray and play with it, sure - but you have to put in the work necessary to reinvent your own interpretation of that gimmick if you're going to try and pinkwash it or remove all instances of ignorance/racial violence/fatphobia/ableism/et cetera. just think with your brain man. do the work. i WILL assume you are a nasty person if you fetishise certain individuals with track records' gimmicks and make no attempt to a) re-imagine the character as something better than what their actor has portrayed them as, or b) use this as an opportunity to explore and depict the harm these characters' mentalities/actions cause

[suzukiblu]

WIP Wednesday Game

Taken from @kedreeva.

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

file names:

omegaverse nursing

feral omega murder-nanny Jason and pup Damian in the League

Krypton lives and Kara did not sign up for this

Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good!

YJ accidental baby acquisition

snippet from "YJ accidental baby acquisition":

"Thank you," Tim says, dropping the swab into the evidence bag. Kenley eyes him sourly for a last long moment, then makes a point of looking at Vic instead. Tim feels distinctly ignored. 

That's definitely not because Kenley's stopped seeing him as a potential threat, he knows, and can't help suspecting it's that they trust Kon more than they don't trust him. 

Or they think Kon's going to be easier to manipulate than the rest of them, given the clone factor, and–

"You're doing good, Kenley," Kon says, giving Kenley another gentle little squeeze. Tim remembers, again, how quickly he had that name to hand. "Want a lollipop or something after this? Gar's probably got some kicking around if Bart doesn't.” 

"Why?" Kenley asks. 

"This is basically your first doctor's appointment," Kon says reasonably. "Lollipops are traditional, right?" 

". . . hm," Kenley says, brow just barely creasing assessingly. 

"Kon, they've never eaten anything in their life and you want to start them off with candy?" Cassie asks, putting her hands on her hips and looking exasperated by the idea. 

"Yeah," Kon replies with a shrug. "Tasting stuff for the first time is really overwhelming, simpler flavors are easier to start with. Not gonna want to order them paneer right now, you know? Maybe get them some of those bottled smoothies to start, actually, on that note. I puked the first couple times I tried eating and I'm pretty sure my teenage stomach was more capable of handling solid food than a kindergarten one is gonna be. Plus sugar tastes good, and Kenley should get to taste something good for their first time." 

"Oh, uh, good idea," Cassie says, blanching slightly. Tim empathizes with the urge to backpedal on saying the wrong thing here. Deeply empathizes. He's not sure it would've even occurred to him to make sure that Kenley's first experience with taste was a positive one or that they might have trouble with solid food right off the bat, himself. 

Kon's "ours" comment is both making more and more sense and also is probably for the best, at this point. 

“What flavor do you wanna try?” Bart asks Kenley, peering curiously at them. “Wonder Girl's favorite is cherry and mine's orange and Robin's is green apple, so you might like one of those or you could try–” 

“Mango,” Kenley says, burying their face in Kon's chest and gripping his jacket again. 

. . . that's Kon's favorite, Tim knows. 

And he'd be a lot less concerned by that choice if Bart had actually mentioned that fact. Especially because mango is a much, much more specific and unusual candy flavor than something like grape or lemon.

[aleksanderscult]

My unpopular opinion for today? The Darkling was terrible at manipulating people

And that mostly comes from the author's incompetence on the matter.

Back in 2016-2017 on Tumblr she was asked which SoC character finds difficult to write and she replied "Kaz. Because he's clever and cunning".

So for her, writing manipulative characters is difficult and actually explains the reason why the Darkling's "efforts" seemed comedic in S&B.

I still remember how posts from 2020-2021 expressed bafflement about where did the Darkling actually manipulated Alina in S&B.

His first, full conversation with her? He lied to her three times and tried to figure her out. What her views are, what does she know about him, has her judgement been clouded by other people's opinions of him, how she feels about her supposed destiny. Apparently she failed in each one of them and the Darkling decided to withhold information since he didn't find her trustworthy. It was too early and she was too immature.

I've written about this scene here but I MUST put this reblog here as well because it's ✨gold✨

So for anyone who believes he should tell her the truth from the very beginning uhh....have you ever been to a job with a hierarchy?

(You can also read a very good meta about their first conversation here from @theweeklydiscourse)

His additional conversations with her? They lasted only ten minutes (maximum) and he mostly tried to soothe her fears and assure her that since she'll have the Stag she won't have to worry about the strength of her power. So, me, the reader, am I supposed to think "That walk that he took with her and lasted for five minutes was so suspicious"?. Ahh...ok.

That first kiss? Boy wasn't it awkward.

It was like I watched two high school kids being kissed for the first time💀

I'm sorry but if that was manipulating then he didn't succeed at making the reader say "Now that seems shady" but wonder "What the fuck was that?". The same thing Alina wondered apparently.

If he wanted to manipulate Alina, why didn't he stay longer with her? Why didn't he spend more time with her? The guy was missing for days from the Little Palace doing his duties and even Alina said that she didn't see him much. So where was the manipulation?

To the first, awkward kiss where he lost control for the first time?

To their Winter fete make out where he almost lost his pants?

(Homeboy couldn't even control his own feelings apparently)

Leigh describes him as "manipulative" but we have no context.

So basically it's like "Source? Trust me bro".

We only have a couple of characters accuse him of manipulation but no scenes to base the argument.

His attempts, in comparison to other truly manipulating characters in fiction (like Varys, Tom Riddle, Petyr Baelish, Tyrion Lannister, the Joker), seem honestly pathetic.

When the author doesn't know how to write such things then her "manipulative" characters and their attempts seem cartoonish, cringe and childish. There's no real danger to make the reader feel like there's something wrong. His scenes with her in the Little Palace only included attempts from his part to calm down her worries and their kisses only made the reader say "Oh he fell for her!" (Which is kind of funny because this is exactly what happened).

The only instance where he was manipulative and good at it was at the orphanage scene where he lied about the Grisha children and his plans with them in order to draw Alina out.

Besides that? Nada.

And it's actually strange to me when people call him "so manipulating" and it makes me think "Have you truly not read other manipulative characters from other authors to compare?"

Because, personally, I have and the Darkling seems like an idiot in comparison.

And this is not me trying to water down the Darkling but say how Leigh Bardugo is so incompetent in writing manipulative characters and try to present him as a "master" of it.

Because he was not.

(P.S. the fact that Leigh once said "I don't want my bad guys to carry a label saying "I'm evil" because I think the real bad guys are much more tactful in their attempts" is actually laughable considering how she gave her bad guy a label when she called him "the Darkling", gave him black clothes and a fearful reputation from the very first chapter. That man really didn't stand a chance from the beginning lmao)

[sapphia]

Hey friend, I hope I can ask a favour from you. I’m a black non-binary lesbian going through a tough phase as Both of my parents are openly homophobic and transphobic. I've organised a crowdfunding to solicit for support to evacuate my home, it's been help for me. Please consider to donate to my pinned link on my profile if you can Reblog and share my pin post to reach a large audience with support . Anything helps at the moment.🙏❤️

Alright everyone, time for an impromptu lesson on how to spot scam asks!

The first sign that this message is a scam is honestly that someone is sending me this message at all, especially since I don't interact with the person enough to recognise their name. I'm sure that 99.9% of donation messages will be spam messages set up by accounts specifically designed to get money out of people, enough that I will delete these by default. I don't think I've ever had a genuine one. But if messages like this tug on your heartstrings enough to want to find out, let me show you how to do that.

The first warning sign is that I'm not following them. Maybe they're a longtime follower of my account though, and I might want to help them in that case, so to check that, I go to my account page, scroll down to the blog that was sent the message, and click on followers.

There I can type in alicesgarcia's blog name in the search, to see if she's following me. But I don't have to because I can see that she's right at the top of my follower list. This is a bad sign--it means she's followed me recently. To check this, I go to my notes and filter for followers only.

I left my ask notifications on too, and from this, I can see they actually sent me the ask BEFORE they followed me. Definitely a scam.

But let's say I want to go deeper. Maybe they're not my follower, but perhaps they are a genuine long-time tumblr user in a hard time--after all, they're a black non-binary lesbian with bigoted parents. That's all of my weak spots in one! I really want to support someone in that situation (Which, of course, I do, I'm on tumblr. This scam is highly targeted, and they s know what will get my sympathy).

So let's check out her blog. She's got a lot of posts, but they're all photo posts, which is another red flag. Though I'm scrolling and scrolling, most of the posts were made 1 day ago, with another big dump 5 days ago. There's a LOT of posts, too much to scroll through. This is deliberate, to make her look legit and discourage people from seeing the date of her first post. But by offsetting posts hundreds at a time (see address bar), I can find her first post.

And there we go--their first post was made five days ago. Definite scam. These are all huge red flags, but you don't need every one of them to tell you it's a scam. Any single one of these should have given me enough doubt that I would just click the block button. New follower? Scam. New blog? Scam. Blog all one type of post? Scam. No interaction with other blogs? Scam. Even the fact that she was so vulnerable and marginalised is a huge warning sign (you're being targeted), as is the fact that her blog just doesn't make her feel like a real person.

Look for ALL of these things. A good scam might set up a blog a month in advance and make personalised posts to gain your trust, or get the login of an old blog and use their age to make them look legit. Keep digging, and keep making sure that what you're seeing tracks with this being a real person in genuine need.

And if you're going to signal boost, even if you're not donating your own money, PLEASE do these basic steps before you post or reblog. Let's protect each other from this.

[southern-belle-outcasts]

Role Play Comfort Zone!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! Come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! A healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time! While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners! REPOST DON’T REBLOG!

Key: BOLD = Yes. Normal = Okay/Ask me about it. Strike = No.

ROLEPLAY BASICS

LOCATIONS I am comfortable doing:

tumblr (i like having a central location)

email

discord (if we're very established and talk regulary can do short stuff there)

google docs

skype

forum

other- wire (if we have an established muse relationship)

PARTICIPANTS I am comfortable with:

One on one roleplays. 

Up to three people. (there's all of three people i'd be okay with doing this, it usually invites drama)

Up to four people.

Five or more people!

As big as possible!

POST LENGTH I usually write about:

One or two sentences. (I don't even consider three sentences enough to jump off of tbh unless we're doing real time rapid fire writing on discord which is…nobody)

One or two paragraphs.

Two to five paragraphs.

More than five paragraphs. 

A few pages worth. 

I AM COMFORTABLE ROLE-PLAYING WITH PEOPLE WHO WRITE:

One or two sentences.

One or two paragraphs. {So long as we're both pulling weight we can make it work}

Two to five paragraphs.

More than five paragraphs.

A few pages worth. 

Write me a book.

ROLE-PLAY REQUESTS I like getting requests from:

Anyone and everyone at any time! (provided you read the rules, you're free to ask!)

When I ask for roleplays. (I'll be honest I rarely do because I'm so busy if I get new partners, they found me not the other way around)

From friends and acquaintances. (as in mutuals only, like it says on the tin)

From friends only.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS ** IMPORTANT: Communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! Be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance

SHIPPING I am comfortable shipping my characters:

Never.

If our characters know each other deeply. 

If our characters know each other deeply, and I know I can trust the role-player.

At the first sign of flirting! 

Only if the role-player and I plan it.

It’s situational to each character.

If you want to ship with my characters:

Talk to me about it from the start.

Talk to me about it once our characters know each other.

Talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

Talk to me about it when they finally decide that they want to go beyond hugging.

Talk to me anytime - there’s no requirement. (for the established partners, I'm not a free porn machine)

SPEED When shipping my characters, I like the romance to happen:

Swift as lightning!

Fast, but not super fast.

Happens in about three months.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Slugs know what’s up!

My relationships know no speed. They happen if they happen. (I do not control these bitches I just write up the incident reports)

SMUT When my characters get intimate, I prefer:

To skip the act entirely.

To write the build up, but skip the act.

To write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it.

To write the act all the way through. (i'm fine with varying levels of detail, but this is a sex positive space so expect detailed to pop up if we're well established unless you've communicated otherwise)

ROMANTIC ARTWORK When it comes to artwork depicting our relationship please:

Do not post it at all without talking to me.

Post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

Post it if it is kisses.

Post it if it is N.SFW.

Only post it if it depicts N.SFW privately between us.

Do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Do not post it where I can see it, but draw what you like!

Do not post it unless you drew it, commissioned it, or received permission from the artist and credited

DRAMATICS ** Important: Always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

VIOLENCE When it comes to violent situations, I am comfortable with:

No violence at all!

I’m fine with verbal arguments!

Some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

Mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

Violence, such as stabbings.

Beyond violence, such as torture and more. 

If you are going to do something violent, please:

Don’t do it at all.

Talk to me about it first.

Surprise me! (I come from the old school rule of so long as you don't flat out kill my character or obliterate them, you can do just about whatever without asking first and we can sort it out after if needed)

DRAMATIC ARTWORK:

Do not post any dramatic scenes that happened between our characters.

Talk to me about it before posting!

Post what you like! (see above on art theft)

Tagged by: @kylo-wrecked

Tagging: you're it

[higaneion]

your character in 5 quotes

Repost, don't reblog.

Tell us your favorite quotes from your character. Give us an idea of who they are by five things they’ve said. Then tag your friends.

"Come on…be brave. Take that first step to live without fear…"

"So…everyone should have told me, you know…? They’re just…too considerate… I’m not…that weak…"

"Roy…please… Don't fail…"

"I just feel that you're not a bad person. I…trust you."

"I shall make Ostia a country in which our children can always be happy."

I was gathering her lines from FE6 and decided now is a good time as any to post them. There are extra notes on my thoughts below the cut because I feel like a lot of these need context.

This first one comes from her recruitment conversation with Gonzalez. I have read her supports a lot and honestly forgot about the recruitment conversations, but they are some of my favorites.

This is right after Hector's death, she is not having a good time, but she's trying her best! What else is significant about this quote is that before this she eggs on Eliwood about fighting and joining Roy and she gets shot down twice, painting a small glimpse of how she (and women in Elibe) are treated. Granted, she is 15 at the start and he is saying this because he doesn't want her to get hurt for fear of telling Hector, but he also sends his 15-year-old son to be the tactician and leader of the army, different circumstances I guess, but I don't know really. Tangent aside, I think this also means something to her because in her mind, she was going to find out eventually, but she just feels hurt that no one told her sooner, allowing her to believe that things were (sort of) fine outside of the walls, pointing once again to that bubble she's lived in all her life.

Okay so this is her death quote. HAHA But the way I interpreted it is that she basically says: keep moving on for the sake of Lycia, for peace, even when I'm gone, keep moving forward. Obviously this is a mouthful for someone dying unless you're an Engage character, so it keeps her last words short and bittersweet.

So, the context here is this is part of her support chain with Garret. She tries to befriend him, or at the very least make conversation with him as she does with many members of the army, regardless of station. The reason for me choosing this one is that thinking about what she's been through and what trust and honesty mean to her. You could look at it through two different lenses, one being she is just pure-hearted and believes there is good in everyone; this is true by the way. And the other being that she was betrayed by rebels under Ostia's banner, so I'd imagine that there is at least some reluctance to trust others, though her natural instinct is to do so anyway according to her supports/conversations. But to this end, she does give reasons later about why she does aside from "just a feeling"/intuition, that if he was going to kill her, he would have done it already. As she talks to people in the army from different walks of life, this aids her understanding and emotional maturity we see throughout the game.

This one is almost a red herring because the real star of this support chain is Ogier/Oujay. He has such banger lines that make me c': For a boy so young to have such sad but powerful lines... when in Fire Emblem... But anyway, talking about the quote, this one is kind of my least favorite out of the ones I picked but dialing back from the emotional maturity she does eventually develop, we see in this support just how out of touch she is with the rest of the world. She's very concerned in the moment with making friends and learning more about him that she doesn't consider the world they live in. Like, he says their family was poor and he's the breadwinner and she presses him with casual questions about his family like the small talk you would hear in school or something. Girl... But I think it works out in the end as it shows not only her flaws, but she admits to being so hasty and ignorant and tries to be more open-minded.

[lincolnchristie]

FAQs

Just kinda compiling all of these.

Do Patreon supporters get early access to your fanfics, fanfic snippets, fanfic BTS, etc? Nope, Patreon is for original works only. If you like my fanfic and want to support me but don't care about my original work, you can sign up for the $3 tier.

Hey, aren't you... Yes, I am @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels but I try to keep this tumblr strictly for posts about my original novels, including answering questions. I will also sometimes reblog fun stuff. For fandom, go to my other tumblr. It's where I'm more active anyway.

Why do you have two separate accounts? I like to be organized, and the idea of mixing 'fandom' with 'professional' too much makes me uncomfortable.

Is your real name Lincoln? It's real in all ways that matter.

What are your pronouns? She/her and they/them. My gender is none of my business.

What is your publishing schedule? I'm alternating posting standalones and series installments and hope to publish two books a year. So Pestilence is in September, then a standalone in December, and the next book will be War, then the book after that will be a standalone, etc.

Do you do sales? Yes, I do sales periodically, in conjunction with the release of a new book and at the end of the year.

Why do you only share pictures of your cats on Patreon? I'm a very private person and would like to limit glimpses into my personal life. I love sharing my babies but also want to manage my anxiety and trust issues in a way that is healthy for me.

Will you do audiobooks? I'd like to! It's a priority of mine for sure. I'm currently researching performers to find the best fit for each book, and I want to make sure I have the funds to properly compensate them. I'll announce it here once things are locked in.

How do you build an audience? I don't know. I wrote some fanfics in two popular fandoms right before they exploded in size, and kept writing for fun. I didn't plan anything. It was basically "right place right time."

How do you... This post gave me all the starting tools I needed to self publish. I cannot credit @thebibliosphere enough because following her tumblr and learning from her posts was beyond beneficial. I never would've had the courage to self-publish if I didn't see her do it first, and be open and generous with her knowledge.

How many books are you working on/do you have planned? The Horsemen Quartet, a trilogy, and five standalones.

What is A Masque of Shadows? That is my magical murder mystery novel, which takes place in a fantasy version of Venice, Italy, and is Game of Thrones meets Murder on the Orient Express starring the grumpiest detective, his spymaster bestie, and various murderous women who can step on me. It's being posted chapter by chapter on my Patreon for subscribers, and will be published in full in e-book and paperback when it's finished with revisions (i.e. my copy editors rip it to shreds).

What about the fanfic? I have not abandoned my fanfiction. That will continue to be free. In fact I hope between book sales and Patreon that I'll have more time for it.

Is there smut in your novels? There might be in the last Horsemen novel. There isn't any planned for the others.

Are you [insert sexuality/gender/mental illness etc here]? I am not obligated to share any of my personal info. I have sensitivity readers who have kindly agreed to be compensated for reading my novels for areas that either don't draw on personal experience, or do but still deal with a subject I'd like a second opinion on.

I only want to read your fanfiction. Good for you. It's on Ao3.

Why do you use Amazon, which is of the devil? Because there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and too many people use Amazon and Kindle for me to eliminate the payday it provides me. "You can have your principles when you've got a belly full."

I hate Amazon, how do I best support you? You are in good company, I also hate them. My Payhip is the best way. However if you do use Amazon please leave a review! Treat it like an Ao3 comment. I want to see keysmashes.

Can I do fanart/write fanfic of your novels? Have at it! I would be very flattered to see any fanart you do. For fanfic please do NOT under ANY circumstances tag me in it or send it to me or gift it to me on Ao3. It's for legal reasons.

Are you on [insert social media site here]? No. Tumblr is my only social media site. If that changes, I'll let you know.

Why jackals? I shamelessly stole the idea from Seth Myers. Back in the heyday of the pandemic when he was doing online-only videos, he joked about how no matter how pedantic the correction, his viewers would faithfully type "with [their] little jackal paws" into the comment section to set him straight. He made more jokes in videos after that affectionately referring to his viewers as jackals, and it made me laugh so hard I decided to use it for my own.

[musicallisto]

this might come across very random but your one of my fav blogs so i thought u might be a good person to ask<3

i’m new-ish to tumblr (as in i’ve had it for a while but other than the odd reblog i haven’t actually posted myself) and i wanna get into writing my own stuff i just have no clue where to start😭like do just post it? do you think it’s best to start with a navigation or do i just start posting and make one later? what tags do i use?

no pressure at all to answer this but if u have any advice at all pls lmk <3<3<3

first of all, thank you so much! that's so sweet and it means the world to me 🫶 tumblr is now a very different place from when I started posting my writing in 2017, especially when it comes to creators, and there's no "magic trick" for gaining visibility/an audience (trust me, if there were, I'd be using it!) so I can only tell you what works for me/what I like to see in a writer. But basically, yes, when I first started out, I posted my one-shots into the wild and that was pretty much it, lol. part of what makes any tumblr journey enjoyable is that it's completely unpredictable! however what I'd recommend if you want to start writing on tumblr is:

organize your blog. you don't need an "about" page at all (do not disclose any information you don't want to! i know it's becoming tumblr etiquette to call people by their first names, but stranger danger is a very real thing). However a masterlist is awesome to regroup all your works / for readers to discover more of your writing if they liked the first taste they got. Similarly, it's great to have a list of fandoms/characters you enjoy writing about so people know what to expect, or perhaps request, when visiting your blog. Honestly I'd say the order in which you do these (writing or navigation first?) is of very little importance, as long as you do them both.

tag your one-shots. i know the tumblr tagging system is kinda shit, but afaik it's still the best way to have your writing reach a wider audience. you shouldn't tag a pairing / character that doesn't appear in your story however, that's really irritating. i read somewhere that only the first five tags you use will actually have your post appear in the search, which idk if it's true? in any case, don't hesitate to go crazy with the tags by taking inspiration from other writers. you can see that i use mine pretty liberally, lol

interact with other writers!!!! and users in general. i can't stress this enough: my tumblr experience only became fun when I made friends. writing is sharing! don't hesitate to reach out. don't assume a creator you admire from afar is intimidating or won't give you the time of day because we literally all are losers on a laptop. comment, reblog fics you like, send authors, artists, fandom members asks!! it will be a marvelous experience, i promise. also tag me when you start posting! I'd love to read it!

good luck and have fun 💗

[omamervt]

one thing you hear about all the time from people when you're trying to make it big is that you want people to discover you "organically."

since... geez, I wanna say 2015? probably earlier but I'm usually the last person to notice trends changing... Anyway since social media more or less replaced casual web browsing, organic reach hasn't really existed, EXCEPT on sites like Tumblr. Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, even YouTube, they're fighting to take your ability to curate your feed away from you, and as time goes on, it just gets worse. I often can't trust YouTube to give me videos based on my specific search terms anymore. Even when you randomly find things on most social media, you can almost be certain that you only found it because The Algorithm decided you should see it, even if you didn't ask for it.

But here? you have a chronological timeline that's ACTUALLY chronological. And it'll show you what the people you're following have posted. It'll show you what they posted even if five of them reposted the exact same thing, and they all accidentally hit the reblog button twice, resulting in you having to look at the exact same image 10 times in a row with no interruptions.

But every time one of those guys reblogs it, there's a chance that it gets put in front of That One Blog and escapes containment. It wasn't chance, it wasn't algorithmic intervention, it was a picture shared from one Guy to the next until the next Guy just so happened to have 200 active audience members, some of whom also had 200 active audience members.

I hated Tumblr back in the day when organic discovery was possible elsewhere, but now that it's the best option for it? You bet your ass I'm on board. Plus we can still embed audio and external video over here, Facebook took that away forever ago and Twitter basically never had it, at least not as well.

Alright, I think I like tumblr now.

A pun post crossed my dash, and I reblogged it with an equally bad pun in return. A couple of my followers find it funny, it's a good day for everyone.

That was on July 7th.

Virality on Reddit was entirely algorithmic. You could garner a couple crossposts, but the success of a post was entirely dependent on whether or not it hit r/all--the main page of Reddit. If your post does that, it's immediately exposed to 10x the number of people and immediately gets upvoted.

On my pun post, I get a couple reblogs. And those reblogs get a couple reblogs--nobody really adds any content to the post, it just gets a couple reblogs here and there.

There's a specific chain of reblogs that I'd like to focus on. The most popular post on this chain has about 25 reblogs on it. Half the posts have three reblogs or fewer. Five posts in this chain have just one reblog total.

But the reblog chain keeps going. And going. It breaches containment many times over. And finally, after a chain THIRTY SIX posts long, at 9:30 AM, July 22nd this morning, it hits a popular account.

99% percent of the people who have seen the post--virtually unchanged from how it left my dash--have seen it because it was curated by 36 different people. That's insane to me.

None of those 36 people know that they're part of this chain. They saw a post, reblogged it, and moved on. If any one of these people had not reblogged, the post would have a fraction of the impact it has.

And yet, after two weeks, the post has effectively hit the main page of tumblr. It was picked up, only because people liked it enough to show it to their followers. There were no algorithms necessary.

You really, truly, cannot get this on any other website.

[tidemoonchild]

Role Play/Shipping Comfort Zone!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! Come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! A healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time! While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

REPOST DON’T REBLOG!

Key: BOLD = Yes. Italicized = Okay/Ask me about it. Strike = No.

ROLEPLAY BASICS

LOCATIONS I am comfortable doing:

tumblr

email

discord (limited to a few people)

google docs (limited to a few people)

skype

forum

other

PARTICIPANTS I am comfortable with:

One-on-one roleplays. (I love collab tho like building a big universe where several characters know eachother and kinda interact together etc.)

Up to three people.

Up to four people.

Five or more people!

As big as possible!

POST LENGTH I usually write about:

One or two sentences.

One or two paragraphs.

Two to five paragraphs. (This one is actually though because it really depends but I think 2-5 fits most of the time.)

More than five paragraphs.

A few pages worth.

I AM COMFORTABLE ROLE-PLAYING WITH PEOPLE WHO WRITE:

One or two sentences.

One or two paragraphs.

Two to five paragraphs.

More than five paragraphs.

A few pages worth. 

Write me a book.

ROLE-PLAY REQUESTS I like getting requests from:

Anyone and everyone at any time! 

When I ask for roleplays.

From friends and acquaintances.

From friends only.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS ** IMPORTANT: Communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! Be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance

SHIPPING I am comfortable shipping my characters:

Never.

If our characters know each other deeply. 

If our characters know each other deeply, and I know I can trust the role-player. (And also when they're the same age. I'm not shipping an adult with a teen.)

At the first sign of flirting! 

Only if the role-player and I plan it.

It’s situational to each character.

If you want to ship with my characters:

Talk to me about it from the start.

Talk to me about it once our characters know each other.

Talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

Talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

Talk to me anytime - there’s no requirement. (I'm not a big shipper and it's really only an exception if I do.)

SPEED When shipping my characters, I like the romance to happen:

Swift as lightning!

Fast, but not super fast.

Happens in about three months.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Slugs know what’s up!

My ships know no speed. They happen if they happen.

SMUT When my characters get intimate, I prefer:

To skip the act entirely.

To write the build-up but skip the act.

To write the act with sensual or poetic language [Limited to specific players]

To write the act all the way through.

ROMANTIC ARTWORK When it comes to artwork depicting our ship please:

Do not post it at all without talking to me. (I might give premission to certain people to post romantic artwork without talking to me.)

Post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

Post it if it is kisses.

Post it if it is N.SFW.

Only post it if it depicts N.SFW privately between us.

Do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Do not post it where I can see it, but draw what you like! (This ofc counts for my ocs. If you draw pictures of my ocs than ofc I wanna see it.)

DRAMATICS ** Important: Always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

VIOLENCE When it comes to violent situations, I am comfortable with:

No violence at all!

I’m fine with verbal arguments!

Some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

Mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

Violence, such as stabbings. (Talk to me about this first)

Beyond violence, such as torture and more. (Talk to me first)

If you are going to do something violent, please:

Don’t do it at all.

Talk to me about it first. (Except I give you premission to write this without asking.)

Surprise me! (If I gave you premission to do that)

DRAMATIC ARTWORK:

Do not post any dramatic scenes that happened between our characters.

Talk to me about it before posting! (Again talking is key or my premission to post stuff freely. I'm much more open regarding drama than romance, I just want to make sure my muses aren't shown in a way that's ooc for them and I don't see them acting or reacting in a specific way I don't see them in.)

Post what you like! (This is for mutuals I'm very close with and I trust the most.)

Stolen from: @themckaytriarchy Tagging: Everyone who wants to do it

[indyflanery]

MY COMFORT ZONES

A valuable dash game for any roleplayer! Come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! A healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time! While this dash game shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

REPOST DON’T REBLOG!

BOLD = Yes.

Italicized = Okay/Ask me about it.

Strike = No.

ROLEPLAY BASICS

WHERE I am comfortable writing:

tumblr

email

discord

google docs

skype (who tf uses Skype anymore?)

forum

other

my comfort levels with GROUP ROLEPLAYS:

One-on-one roleplays.

Up to three roleplayers.

Up to four roleplayers.

Five or more roleplayers!

As big as possible!

my ROLEPLAY RESPONSES are usually:

One or two sentences.

One or two paragraphs.

Two to five paragraphs.

More than five paragraphs.

A few pages worth.

REPLY LENGTHS I will accept from you:

One or two sentences.

One or two paragraphs.

Two to five paragraphs.

More than five paragraphs.

A few pages worth.

Write me a book.

I like getting ROLEPLAY REQUESTS from:

Anyone and everyone at any time!

When I ask for roleplays.

From friends and acquaintances.

From friends only.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

I am comfortable SHIPPING my characters:

Never

If our characters know each other deeply.

If our characters know each other deeply, and I know I can trust the role-player.

At the first sign of flirting!

Only if the role-player and I plan it.

It’s situational to each character.

If you WANT TO SHIP with my characters:

Talk to me about it from the start

Talk to me about it once our characters have met.

Talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

Talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

Talk to me anytime - there’s no requirement.

When shipping my characters, I like the ship to develop at THIS SPEED:

Swift as lightning!

Fast, but not super fast.

Happens in about three months.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Slugs know what’s up!

My ships know no speed. They happen if they happen.

When SMUT happens, I prefer:

To skip the act entirely.

To write the build-up but skip the act.

To write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it with sensual or poetic language

To write the act all the way through. (But I will discuss with and adjust to my partner)

When it comes to SHIP ARTWORK please:

Do not post it at all without talking to me.

Post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

Post it if it is kisses.

Post it if it is N.SFW.

Only post it if it depicts N.SFW privately between us.

Do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Do not post it where I can see it, but draw what you like!

VIOLENCE

When it comes to VIOLENT situations, I am comfortable with:

No violence at all!

I’m fine with verbal arguments!

Some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

Mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

Violence, such as stabbings.

Beyond violence, such as torture and more.

If you are going to DO SOMETHING violent:

Don’t do it at all.

Talk to me about it first.

Surprise me!

DRAMATIC ARTWORK

Do not post any dramatic scenes that happened between our characters.

Talk to me about it before posting!

Post what you like!

TAGGED BY stolen in turn from @historiavn because I probably should do this thing again.

TAGGING I don't tag people. If you want to do it, do it.

[echoestm]

Rules

🔪 This blog is NOT for the faint-hearted.

🔪 You MUST be 25+ to interact with me in any, way, shape or form. I’m an old guy in his thirties and while I don’t have anything at all against the underage set or young adults just over the line– I just feel more comfortable interacting with people closer to my own age. Please respect this.

🔪 If you want to follow me you MUST control your own online experience. I understand having squicks, triggers, and just general things that make you uncomfortable. If you make me aware of your discomforts, I will do my best to tag them as uncomfortable thing here cw. What I won’t do is cease to write about it, talk about it, reblog pictures of it, etc. Naturally, anything that makes you uncomfortable won’t be featured in any writing we do together. Just please, have and make use of xkit or tumblr savior. Basically, I don’t believe/agree that depiction equals endorsement. IC is not OOC. And fiction is not reality

🔪 I can and will talk the hind leg off of a horse if given the chance. I was once called The Church of Communication by a friend. A writing/rp’ing partnership will always work best with me if you’re someone who is communicative and has little to no qualms with expressing yourself. I value that shit almost above all. I take the word no like a champ! In fact, I like being told no because it immediately lets me know that you’re not just being polite when you do say yes. If I pitch an idea, a plot, or a verse and you’re not into it? PLEASE say so. I won’t be offended in the least and you’ll get so many brownie points from me, trust me, I’ll love you for it.

🔪 I love reminders! If you feel like I’ve forgotten or misplaced a thread, or maybe not been notified, don’t hesitate to give me a poke about it. I’m always down to go find what I’ve lost, and if there’s some other reason I haven’t gotten to it yet, I promise to let you know about it. For me, reminders are never an annoyance.

🔪 I read tags and I tend to follow their instructions. For example, if you make or reblog an ooc post about something you feel strongly about and you tag it ‘Unfollow me and block me now if you don’t agree/reblog/etc’ then… I’m probably going to unfollow you, as requested. Ideally, I’m all for agreeing to disagree when it comes to pretty much any subject. However you feel about something, I’ll respect that even if we don’t see eye-to-eye on it. Much like tagging squicks/triggers, if we don’t feel the same about something, then that something isn’t going to be brought up or argued or discussed continually between us. I’ll respect that you feel how you feel about whatever it may be, and act accordingly. However, my pet peeve are those posts with those kinds of demanding tags, unless they’re being used in a playful sense.

🔪 At the moment, I don’t have any banned fc’s and I technically don’t have any banned fandoms/media. There are shows/books/movies that I’m not into, but I don’t just ban them as a whole. Rp’ing is all about chucking muses into the unexpected and seeing what they do, so I’m almost always pretty open to whatever as long as we can customize, compromise, and find something that works for us both. Fuck SPN tho. I liked the first five seasons and then ragequit. I’m still open to playing around in that world though.

🔪 I don’t do exclusivity. I don’t judge the people that do, live and let live after all, but it’s just not for me. I like being able to play with multiple versions of the same muses because each writer brings a different take on them to the table and I’m greedy. I’m also an arrogant asshole, confident in my version of muses, so please, play with all the multiples that you like with no concern for me about it.

🔪 I used to say that I didn’t do mains, muses made a liar out of me. Some shit just clicks sometimes and getting guilted about it makes me sulk and fuck off of my blog.

🔪 I prioritize partners that don’t rp via the queue system. Again, no judgement– do what you need to in order to stay sane and happy, I’m just an excitable impatient person.

🔪 I will give pretty much anything/anyone a shot. Friendly to OC’s, crossovers, au’s, fandoms I know nothing about, etc. I don’t mind doing research into media I’m not familiar with, but depending on how much I have on my plate, I might be a little slow about it.

🔪 Last but not least, the big one that’ll run people off the most: THIS BLOG IS A GRIMDARK BLOG. Wiki explains it here, if you’re not familiar with the term. It means that this is a trigger-heavy blog. It is a dark blog. It’s contents will feature themes, thoughts, actions and speech that are real-world deplorable.

🔪 Finally, I have preferences when it comes to writing/plotting. Angst is my jam. I’m also a sucker for gritty realism weaved into these stories that ask us to suspend so much disbelief. Fine, Thor’s walking the earth, vampires are real, the impossible and probable are all very likely– but rent still needs to be paid, minimum wage sucks, NYC apartments are tiny and get easily cramped, etc. Fluff and coffeeshop au’s do nothing for me and I’m not any good at writing them. I’m not anti-happiness, but I do like to throw roadblocks in it’s way. I like stories that are painful, I like things that are hard, and threads/verses that fit those preferences are always going to be my favorite.

🔪 This is pretty much it? My rules page used to be like four lines about needing to be of age, tumblr etiquette, and communication– I actually kind of hate having really long rules pages, but I also want people to know what they’re getting into and be making well-informed decisions. I don’t want to ever unpleasantly surprise anyone with either IC or OOC content.

[astercontrol]

Okay, I know we all laugh about how Tumblr used to let you edit other people's posts in your own reblog of them.

But honestly I think it may have been kinda good for people's critical thinking.

In the same way as how replies worked in newsgroups in the early 00's….

Which were basically like big multi-cc email conversations (and looked the same whether you got the posts by email or by going to a site like Yahoogroups).

So, "reblogging" and adding your own comments looked like it does in an email (a low-formatting email, not the current Gmail default which makes it hard to even SEE the words you're replying to, but that's another whole rant).

Anyway it looked like this:

----

> mmmmm, Spock is so in love with Captain Kirk! :-) <3

What are you talking about, LOL? He's in love with Nurse Chapel!

----

And since the other person's words are just text above your reply, OF COURSE you could've edited them, like so:

----

> > mmmmm, Spock is so in love with Harry Mudd! :-) <3

> What are you talking about, LOL? He's in love with the Horta!

Hahahaha… what are you BOTH going on about?

----

But, nobody did that!

The most editing I ever saw anyone do to someone else's words was shortening or paraphrasing for simplicity… and sometimes in a big and nuanced argument you'd get called out for that, because it can twist the context.

Nobody would do something like the above example, because it was just SO OBVIOUS that you could just go a few posts back in the thread and see what someone originally wrote.

You couldn't do it to trick people… and you wouldn't even really do it as a joke, because that would be like joking about something weird your friend said five minutes ago, when we were all in the room and SAW him say something that was 100% different from what you're joking about. It would be a type of absurdist humor that I don't think even Tumblr has reached in the present day.

But Tumblr HAS reached a point where we, in some cases, have an implicit trust in the user-interface which is really not that warranted.

And back when you could edit other people's words in your own reblog of them-- and people were aware of that fact-- that trust at least SOMETIMES got challenged, to keep us thinking.

Twitter did worse, though, giving us all those years without being able to edit your OWN posts. Yeah, there was value in it, being able to prove what someone said and when. But people became so dependent on that proof that we still sometimes see posts on other sites, like here on Tumblr, getting attention for being prophetic when they were actually edited after the fact, because people no longer even consider the possibility of a post being edited.

I don't have a solution for the problem. Just saying, the viewpoint of someone who entered online fandom in the 90's and 00's is a bit of a different perspective on this.

[cyberverse--reblogger]

Cyberverse reblogs baby!

So with tumblr's wonky search, I can't find all the good sauce on transformers cyberverse. I also would like to find those posts again, too, but my likes are a mess, so that's outta the question. My solution? This sideblog.

Basically I do my thing of diving through other people's blogs, and scooping out any cyberverse content I like. I reblog them here, and whenever the little gremlin within me is begging for anything relating to cyberverse, I just go here.

I try to tag every reblog as well, and if you search up a certain bot's name, like, let's say, Red-Five, you should be able to find any posts that I reblogged here that mentions Red-Five. This goes for all characters, btw.

I have no idea if anyone is actually gonna read this, so thank you if you did!

Also, my pfp is from some concept art for cyberverse!

Oh, and I do mass-reblogs at a time. I like to keep some posts in the drafts for a few days, so that I know I didn't reblog them before. Expect dead silence, and then a ton of reblogs from me! Click read more to read about my my tagging system!

-----

My tagging system is:

#gifs is for gifs. I like to tag that stuff because sometimes gifs can lag up my computer pretty bad, and sometimes I'm forced to block it briefly. The woes of having a computer that a potato could probably surpass...

#cyberverse is for all things about that show. Technically this might mean it's just this blog/nearly everything I reblog in general, but I do have a few posts that aren't from cyberverse, but I like it enough I want to stick it here and remember it. Also, I like it.

#video is for, well, videos.

#commentary is when a post isn't particularly about any character, but rather, about the show itself. Trust me, it's not going to be as serious as I make the tag sound lol.

#fanart is fanart of cyberverse. Sometimes, you just wanna bless your eyes with pretty art, y'know?

#i like ya tags g is when I come across some tags that just makes the whole post come together. It makes me smile reading those tags, and yes, I chose to name the tag for screenshots of tags because of the meme.

#ship is for anything that is depicting ships. It might actually take me a while to find some stuff that was ship stuff here, because I added somewhat recently. The ship name will also be tagged along with it, usually. If I can figure out what the accepted ship name is.

#memes will also be added, but it's mainly going to be stuff that I feel doesn't fit the other categories.

#It's a bird! It's a plane! It's… an original post! is for any, well, original posts. These are probably going to be few and far, but hey! It's a tag if you want to see anything that came from me!

More will be added! Thanks for reading, and I hope you stick around! Mass reblogs and likes are perfectly fine, so go nuts! :]

[atlafan]

a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral

Words: 17.8K

Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)

When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.

Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.

It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.

Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.

She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.

//

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.

The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.

“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.

“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.

“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”

“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.

“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”

Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.

He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.

//

Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.

“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.

“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”

“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”

“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”

“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.

“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”

//

Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.

“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.

“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“

“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”

“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”

“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”

“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“

“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”

“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”

“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”

“Yes?”

“Your 2PM is here.”

“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.

“Um…it’s Blair.”

“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”

“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”

“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”

“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”

“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”

“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”

Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”

“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”

“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”

“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”

“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”

“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”

“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“

“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”

“So are you.” He frowns.

“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”

“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”

“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.

“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”

“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”

“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”

“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”

“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”

“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.��� She sniffles.

“How did it happen?”

“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”

“I will, there’s no question about it.”

“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”

“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”

“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.

“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”

“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”

“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”

“You don’t?”

“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”

“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”

“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.

“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”

“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”

“Harry.” Blair sighs.

“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.

“Scotch?” Kate asks.

“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.

“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.

//

Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.

“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.

“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”

“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”

“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.

“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”

“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”

Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.

“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.

“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”

“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.

“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”

“We can do both at the same time.”

“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”

“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”

“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“

“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.

“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.

“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”

Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.

“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.

“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”

“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”

“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”

“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”

“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”

“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”

“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.

“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”

“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.

“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.

“Is yours similar?” He asked.

“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”

“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.

“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’

“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”

“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”

“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.

“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.

“Want me to kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”

“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”

“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”

“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”

“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”

“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”

“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.

“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”

“Look, if you need some money-“

“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”

“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.

“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”

“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”

“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”

“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”

“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”

“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”

“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”

“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.

Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.

He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.

Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.  

//

The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.

“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.

“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”

Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.

“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.

“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.

“What?” Harry asks, confused.

“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”

“You weren’t at the funeral.”

“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”

“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.

“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.

“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.

“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.

“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”

“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“

“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”

“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.

“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”

“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”

“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.

“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”

“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Drive Blair home.”

“Mum.”

Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.

“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“

“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”

“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“

“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”

“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.

“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”

“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.

“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”

“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”

Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.

“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.

“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.

“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”

“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”

“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.

“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.

“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”

“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”

“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”

“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”

“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”

Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.

“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”

“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”

“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.

“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”

“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.

“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”

“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”

“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”

“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”

“Blair, that was a year ago.”

“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.

“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”

“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”

“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”

“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”

“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”

“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”

“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”

“You remember how I looked when we first met?”

“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”

“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”

“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”

“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”

“And I meant it.”

“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”

“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.

“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.

“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”

“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”

“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”

“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.

“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.

“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”

“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”

“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”

“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”

He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.

//

Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.

Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H

Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.

There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.

“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”

“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”

“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.

“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”

“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.

“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.

“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET

in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”

“Like a checklist for each?”

“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”

“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”

“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”

“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”

“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.

“I love you, Harry, thank you.”

“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”

“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”

“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.

“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.

Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.

“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.

“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.

“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”

“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”

“Y-yes.”

He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”

“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry’s name.

“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.

“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.

“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”

“Yeah, I need the distraction.”

“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.

“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.

“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.

“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”

“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”

“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”

“Do you think you wanna get back together?”

“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“

“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”

“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”

“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.

“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.

“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”

“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”

“Did you?”

“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”

“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“

There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.

“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”

“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”

“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.

“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”

“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”

“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”

“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”

“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”

The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.

“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”

“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.

“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.

“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”

Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”

“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”

“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.

“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.

“You don’t need to do this, you know?”

“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.

“Babysit me.” She mutters.

“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”

“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“

“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”

“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.

“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.

“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”

“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”

“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”

“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”

“I should start my membership back up.”

“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”

“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”

“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”

“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.

“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.

“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.

“Kiss me, Harry.”

His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.

“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”

“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.

“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”

“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”

“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”

“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”

“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”

“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”

“Why not Friday?”

“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”

“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”

“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”

“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”

“I think it sounds like a date.”

//

On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.

“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.

When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.

“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.

“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”

Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.

“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.

“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”

“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”

“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.

“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.

“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”

“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”

“You don’t wanna come with?”

“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”

“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.

“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”

Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.

“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.

“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”

“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.

“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”

“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”

“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”

“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”

“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”

“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.

“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”

“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”

“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”

“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”

//

On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.

“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.

“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.

“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”

“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”

“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”

“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh, sure.��� He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”

“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.

“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”

“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”

“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.

“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”

Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.

“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”

“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”

“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.

“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“

“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”

“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”

“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”

“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”

“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.

“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”

“Maybe she did.” John nods.

“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”

“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”

“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”

“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”

“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”

“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”

“You could sound a little more enthused.”

“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”

“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”

“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”

“No, she did plenty for me.”

“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.

“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.

“What happened, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, baby.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”

“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”

“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”

“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”

“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”

“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”

“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”

“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“

“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”

“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”

“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.

“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”

“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”

“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.

//

At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.

“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.

“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.

“But I know what you’re thinking.”

“Did you meet up with John last night?”

“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”

“Oh shit, is still there?”

“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”

“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.

“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.

“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.

“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”

The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.

“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.

“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”

“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”

“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”

“Snag me a pair, please.”

Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.

“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.

“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”

“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.

“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”

“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”

The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.

“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.

“Why?”

“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.

“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”

“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”

“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.

“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.

“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.

“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.

“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”

“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”

“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.

The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.

When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.

“Hello?” She answers brightly.

“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”

“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.

“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.

“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.

“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”

“Is the intern no good?”

“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”

“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”

“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”

“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.

“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”

“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.

They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.

“What?” He asks.

“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.

“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.

“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”

“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”

“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”

“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.

“No, I think just the burger will be good.”

“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.

“Great! What can I get you?”

“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.

“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.

“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.

“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”

“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”

“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”

“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”

“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.

“What does Riley have to say about all this?”

“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”

“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”

“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”

“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.

“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”

“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.

“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.

They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.

“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.

“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”

“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”

“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.

“Blair, let go of the check.”

“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”

“I insist, let me pay.”

“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”

“Fine, can we at least split it?”

“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.

“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.

“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”

“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”

“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”

“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.

“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”

“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.

“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”

“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.

“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”

“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.

“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.

“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.

“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.

“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.

“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”

“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”

“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”

“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.

“Only for you…do you still like it?”

“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”

“You still trust me enough?”

“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”

“Whatever you want, babe.”

They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.

“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”

She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.

“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”

“Mhm, yeah, please.”

He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”

“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”

Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.

“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”

“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.

He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.

“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.

He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.

“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”

“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”

“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.

“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.

“How do you want me?”

“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”

“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”

“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”

“Yeah…work back up to it.”

“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”

Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.

“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”

“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.

“Are you still on the pill?”

“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”

“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”

“Need to feel you too.”

She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.

“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”

“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.

She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.

“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.

He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.

He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.

“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.

“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.

“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.

He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.

“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”

“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.

“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”

“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.

“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”

“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.

“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.

“What, baby?”

“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.

“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”

“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”

“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”

“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”

“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.

“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”

“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”

“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.

“Couldn’t agree with you more.”

Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.

“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.

“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”

“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

Hypnokink 101

Note:The following is not a finished product, but an ongoing brainstorm of what should be presented at an introductory class on hypnokink. Please feel free to reblog or comment and suggest additional topics that I’ve left out that you consider important. The intention is for this to be an introduction for people experienced to some degree in some form of kink but not experienced inhypnokink, covering the possibilities and intricacies of that particular form of play.

~~~~~~~~~~ I. “Hypnokink” (AKA erotic hypnosis, trance play, hypno play, mind play, recreational hypnosis, mesmerism, etc) explained ~~~~~~~~~~

The basic formula: Hypnosis + Sexy/Kinky Things = Hypnokink -- seems obvious, right? Well.. What one person finds “Sexy/Kinky” can be highly variable. It sometimes involves forms of mental/emotional intimacy in addition to (or instead of) sexual gratification. It sometimes involves things that seem completely non-sexual, but because of a power exchange element, induced hallucinatory/delusional element, or other contextual element, are found to be so by one or more of the participants.

Hypnosis is… a thing nobody can precisely agree on what it is. It can be variously viewed as...

A mental state of heightened suggestibility and mental pliability brought about and directed by the subject/hypnotee, but with outcomes and consequences often shaped largely by the hypnotist

Willingly handing someone else the keys to your mind, and a roadmap of where you’d like to go, so they can be your chauffeur.

A bunch of tricks and verbal judo that help someone to relax, accept as true the things you are saying, and allow you to thereby shape their inner reality.

Hypnokink is a “risk aware” form of kink, in that there is by default a certain level of risk involved. Hypnosis is used therapeutically because it is effective in treating certain problems, is not “just” role-play or play-acting. It can be as damaging as it is helpful, as problematic as it is pleasurable. It needs to be approached with intent, understanding, and informed consent for the risks inherent to it.

~~~~~~~~~~ II. What it looks like: A hypnokink scene in a nutshell ~~~~~~~~~~

Five basic phases of a hypnosis scene: Pretalk, Induction+Deepener, Suggestions/Trancework, Reawakening+Post-hypnotic play, Aftercare/Debrief The distinction between inductions and deepeners is important in therapeutic settings and for technical write-ups, but it’s not very important for our purposes just now. The phases are not set in stone, and not universally agreed upon. For some scenes they can be abbreviated, for some they can be dispensed with altogether. Also, some hypnotists have a different way of organizing things - there is a lot of technical diversity in the community.

A. Pretalk: A conversation before the scene ever starts, where the hypnotist and subject come to an understanding about the scene before it begins.

For new subjects, the pretalk is where the subject and hypnotist develop a rapport, connection, and bond of trust with each other. You are entrusting (temporarily, but still) a person with the keys to your mind, so you want to know that they are worthy of that trust.

For all subjects and hypnotists, the pretalk is where everyone comes to a mutual understanding of what will and won’t be a part of the scene. In-trance suggestions, post-hypnotic suggestions, triggers, longer-term effects, the imagery that’s going to be used, the imagery that’s going to be avoided, the safeties that are going to be employed, and anything else either party considers relevant is up for discussion.

For new subjects especially, this part of a scene can be the most important for establishing the foundation for a successful trance. Getting their explicit, informed, enthusiastic consent during this portion sets the stage for everything that comes later. The permission given during the pretalk makes the induction vastly easier.

Note: Trance language or anything else that modifies a subject’s ability to consent is - without explicit, prior consent to the contrary - NOT appropriate to use during this phase. It’s like negotiating a scene while someone is drunk or high.

B. Induction + Deepener: The phase that most people recognize as “hypnosis”. This is where swinging pocketwatches, spirals, low slow talking, gentle coaxing language, imagery, double binds, "Youuuuuuu areeeee getttttting sleeeeeepy.....", neuro-linguistic programming and other tools are employed to coax the subject’s mind into giving up conscious control to the hypnotist for the time being.

An induction is the start of this process, where the subject is taken from “awake” to “in a light/moderate trance state.” There are a wide variety of inductions, from things like Progressive Muscle Relaxation - think “Office Space” - to Conversational inductions that may not seem overtly hypnotic.

Deepener is the later part of this process, where the subject is taken from “light/moderate” to a deeper state of trance

This section is typically where the hypnotist employs some progressive means - counting from one to ten, walking down a series of imagined steps, removing layers of an onion (or parfait) - to lead the subject into deeper states, until they are where the hypnotist wants them to be

Trance depth is measured in a variety of ways - muscle relaxation, eye closure, subjective assessment (asking the subject how deep they are), ideomotor signaling (“twitch your finger when you are deeply entranced”), suggestibility (telling the subject to do/feel something and seeing if it happens) - but it is all subjective, unless you have an fMRI machine handy.

Not every scene needs to be done while deeply entranced, and not every subject is open to or ready for being entranced to a deep level. With more experience it gets easier for a subject to drop deeper, faster, and with more experience a hypnotist is more reliably able to drop subjects through a variety of means. Not all inductions will work for all people equally, so it’s best for hypnotists to become familiar with a variety of them.

For many hypnokinksters, this is the kinky aspect (AKA the point) of the process. Just like many D/s kinksters find power exchange inherently sexual or gratifying, for many the tropes of a hypnotic induction or the physical evidence of being entranced can become sexual or gratifying unto themselves. They are either the means, or the evidence, of a subject having given up control and power - or a hypnotist having been given it.

C. Suggestions/Trancework (AKA “kinky human tricks”)

Often thought of as the “fun stuff” of hypnokink, and there’s good reason for that - this stuff is damned fun to do…

If your subject has not agreed to something beforehand, You. Do. Not. Suggest. It. In. Trance.

When a subject is “deep enough” you either tell them directly, or lead them indirectly, to the thoughts, feelings, sensations, actions or reactions you want them to have, either in trance or after waking up. That is a very wide open field, so a number of things can happen. Some examples:

Thoughts: “When you awaken, you will be unable to remember your own name, but whenever asked you say - and believe - that you are called ‘Slave.’”

Feelings: “You are feeling very aroused, progressively more as time goes on, wanting to have [sexual act] done to you. You are certain that only that can satisfy you.”

Sensations: “Your skin is very hot, and you find your clothing to be progressively more itchy as time goes on. This sensation will get stronger and stronger until you remove all your clothing, and then will fade to the back of your mind as long as you remain that way.”

Actions: “A few minutes after you awaken, you will start to feel progressively more aroused. At the same time, you will NOT touch yourself or pleasure yourself in any way, though the pleasurable sensations will grow and grow and grow over time. When they are as strong as you can manage, when you are about to cum, you will approach me and ask for permission. The sensations will keep growing in strength until I answer you, and tell you that you can. When I say so, the feelings will focus to a point and you will climax in front of everyone, and after you finish you will fall immediately back into trance.”

Reactions: “For the next 24 hours, whenever you see a pink balloon you will fixate on it, feeling the thoughts and intelligence drain from your mind as you stare at it until you are nothing more than a dumb, giggly, empty-headed slave to your feelings and desires, doing whatever the people around you tell you to do for the next five minutes.”

Note: these are all used for illustrative purposes only. The process of making these suggestions real, working, and safe to use is more complicated than can be conveyed in 1-5 sentences.

There are three general kinds of suggestion you can ask a subject to do during trance:

In-trance suggestions: things that immediately happen while a subject is still fully entranced. These can be things like standing up, repeating a phrase, quacking like a duck, removing clothing, pleasuring oneself, pleasuring someone else, or nearly anything else.

D. Reawakening+Post-hypnotic Play

Starts when the subject is brought “out” of trance, but may still be under the effects of trance to some extent. As long as they are responding to hypnotic suggestions (in-trance, post-hypnotic, or actively reacting to triggers) then some part of their mind is still entranced.

Important note: Just as one would not negotiate “up” with an inebriated partner or a partner who is in an otherwise compromised mental state, don’t do that with a post-trance partner until their mind is fully their own again. If a person is in a state where they are more suggestible than normal, then they are not able to offer full consent to things not already agreed to.

Often times, hypnotists utilize a “reinduction” trigger where if they do something (say a word, touch a body part, etc), the subject immediately falls back into a trance. This can be useful for adjusting suggestions and triggers if they are not optimal in the form first used, and to fix problems as they come up. This is the phase of a scene where those sorts of triggers - and all other triggers - are most useful.

Can last anywhere from a few minutes, to hours, to as long as the subject is capable of and the hypnotist wishes it to last. However, hypnotic states naturally fade with time, as do triggers and other suggestions.

E. Aftercare/Debrief

This is as important in a hypnokink scene as in any other kind of kink scene, for largely the same reasons.

When someone hands the keys to their mind to you, you ought to thank them for the privilege and make sure they are okay after.

When you accept the responsibility for someone’s mental well-being, you ought to be told how you did in that role.

Make sure to talk about what worked, what didn’t, what you want to try more, what you want to not try again, and any transgressions that happened but don’t rise to the level of full consent violations

Cuddles, pancakes, Netflix, or any other emotional/mental/physical aftercare that either party wants or needs should be taken care of.

Debrief as soon after a scene as you are comfortable with, so that you can cover events while they are fresh in your mind.

~~~~~~~~~~ III. Safety and Technical Stuff: [to be completed later] ~~~~~~~~~~

Intrinsic safeties - Fold in material from earlier journal entries on the subject

Extrinsic safeties - Fold in material from earlier journal entries on the subject

Sensory modalities - Keep in mind that different subjects will have different preferences for the senses that you use to describe various imagined scenarios. Sometimes a flower is best described by the color of the petals, sometimes by the smell of the flower, sometimes by the texture of the leaves or petals or thorns, sometimes by how it makes someone feel inside.

Responding to Abreactions - Make sure to differentiate between negative reactions to a sub-optimal hypnotic technique or poorly worded suggestion, and something that violates established limits, safeties, etc.

Included in my Index of Writings on Safety & Consent. Read more on the topic, by me and by others, at the link!